change is fantastic

This day was bound to come

2008-07-01T21:37:00.002-04:00

Hi Joe, nice to see you here. It was truly only a matter of time. The completely ironic thing is it was actually one year ago today that you told me to pack my shit, and go back to where I came from. One whole year. Hard to believe.

I want to inform you that I am not full of shit. These are my FEELINGS. Feelings which I am entirely entitled to have. I am not in some anti-depressant induced coma, I am clear-headed, smart and venting. I have not been talking shit, as you oh so kindly put it in your text message, as far as not having a clue on life....do I even need to comment on that, man who lives in his own reality? And even though I do appreciate your medical advice, I'd prefer to take that one up with my doctor. Thank you for calling me a strong girl....that was really nice and very true. I am stronger than I've ever been.

I believe it's time for this blog to maybe come to an end. I have used this as free therapy, a way to keep in touch with family and friends across the nation, and for plain old fashion creative fun. But it's been tainted now, so In the words of the late J. Garcia, I bid you goodnight...goodnight....goodnight.

why to NOT use plastic bags

2008-06-30T13:54:00.002-04:00

http://www.poconorecord.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080506/MULTIMEDIA02/80505016

Thanks Scott for this link. Stuff most of us know already, but still good to reinforce it in black and white!

Production is key

2008-06-30T11:46:00.003-04:00

I had such a productive weekend, it was fabulous. Lilac had her sleepover birthday party Friday night, and that was loads of fun. We spent Saturday playing with friends and napping (recovering). And the rest of the weekend was spent doing homework and studying. I accomplished so much. I did my online assignments for this next week, so I don't have to worry about working around the 4th, and I was able to really study not only for my Micro lab practical tomorrow, but for my exam on Thursday as well. Look at that, maybe I am going to have to step down from my thrown as queen of Procrastination Nation. Well, not counting my chicken's yet. So yeah for me!

So I have a new crush. Colin, you're gonna have to move over because someone just knocked you out of the ballpark! I watched P.S. I Love You last night. Now I've had my eye on this guy for a while now, but holy cow, you can't get much hotter than this. He was on Grey's for a stint, playing Izzy's Denny, and he also played the deceased Jonah Botwin on Weeds. Again, let me say.....gorgeous. This is pretty much how he looked in the movie too, and did you know he is single? Men who look like this inspire me to rethink my determination to be single for the rest of my life!

Oh dear sweet internet

2008-06-16T12:34:00.004-04:00

How do I love thee...... I am currently sitting in the college cafe. I have finished my imperative homework, eaten a delicious bowl of chicken flourentine soup, and actually have about 20 min to "spare". What shall I do? I think it's about time I reintroduce myself to my lovely blogosphere.

Hi. My name is Julie. And I am a unwilling recovering blogoholic, forced into rehab due to impossible time restrictions. But today I have fallin' off the wagon.

So much has gone on in my life these past many many many weeks, I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll start with school. I am taking two online courses this summer, fairly simple concepts, but require lots of reading. Intro to Psych and Intro to Soc. BUT I am also dead in the middle of Microbiology. When I originally signed up for it, it was listed as a full summer course, as to not be accelerated......but low and behold I was deceived. 15 week course smooshed into 7. So I am drowning in this class. Trying so, so hard, but just barely squeaking by. The teacher is great, which helps, but the information is difficult. I am really trying to take it all in stride. I can only do the best that I can do.

On a much happier note, I did get my garden planted a few weeks ago. The whole encounter with Jen and the rototiller was one for the memory books. But I finally did get my plants in the ground. I am very excited to see how it will turn out in the end. I will post some pictures soon.
I have also been able to see my friends in NH a few times over these last few weeks. I am so happy when I'm in NH. I really hope I end up back there one day. I know Jen and I both feel that way about it. There is just something about New Hampshire. Live Free or Die man.

Things on the Joe front have been quiet as well. Don't really even have anything to report. He has been cooperative. Taking the kids one of my class nights, and being very consistent with them on the weekends. He even bought them a four-wheeler. My daughter is now doing stunts on it. Yep, that's right, stunts. You know the lady at the circus who does all sorts of tricks while riding a horse? That's Lilac, but transfer it to a mini 4-wheeler at 20mph. Note to self: Force the father to buy her full body armour.

Glad to see you all again. Thanks for the patience.

missing you

2008-06-09T13:07:00.002-04:00

I am desperately trying to find some time to write, but it's just not happening. I apologize. OVERWHELMED would be the word of the summer. With studying and homework, juggling babysitters and trying to find more work. But not letting myself get to stressed about it either. I am going to try my mightiest to make some time this evening....but don't hold your breath. I wouldn't want to be responsible for anyone's death!

Today I finally got off my lazy ass

2008-05-21T18:47:00.002-04:00

I know I'm not really lazy, but in certain aspects of my life I could make the word 42 pt. font, and it still wouldn't be big enough! When it comes to my kids, work, school, my friends I am nowhere near the word. But when it comes to physical fitness......let's just say ......well, NOTHING!
But today, I ran a mile. Actually a half mile, walked the other half. That's all I could get out of myself. Then I proceeded to wobble on jello legs throughout the rest of my day. What possessed you Julie? you ask...... Well I had intentions when I dressed myself this morning, putting on my sweats and jogging shoes. By the time I dropped the second kid off though, my only intentions were coffee and Internet. But I had to stop by the financial aid office at school and got all sorts of worked up by the bitchy lady at the desk, so I decided instead of hitting the bottle at 9 am, I should go ahead and run. I headed out to the track and here we are. One mile. I am quite proud.
I have been making such an effort to eat better, lose weight (9 so far), I might as well go the whole way. If I could just stick with it all I'd be in great shape.....I go all gun ho for a while and just fizzle out. I need to change that about myself.

flea markets and homemade pizza

2008-05-19T09:15:00.002-04:00

Sunday morning I made my first trip of the season to the big local flea market. And what fun! It is big and outdoors, and you can find just about anything you need there, along with lots of things you didn't realize you needed until you spied them on the table.
Yesterday my treasures included a bread maker, a wooden homemade wine rack, a set of coasters with fairies on them, a bar of homemade blueberry soap, and a beautiful reddish orangeish vase from Italy. The total of all of my purchases did not exceed $25.00. It's like going to 150 yard sales all right next to each other, it's fabulous! Anyone ever want to come with me Sunday mornings, just give me a holla!

Which brings us to the homemade pizza part. The kids and I made an oh so yummy garlic/basil thin pizza crust in our new bread maker last night, and had some fantastic cheese pizza. I would recommend it to anyone who loves pizza. It was super easy, you just need to start 90 minutes prior to dinner time because it takes that long for the dough.

The pizza did blow the ww for the day, but today is another day....and another chance to get back on track. I am very curious to know how far off track I can go and still have loss. Well I guess I will find out!
Enjoy your day today!

Hair Envy

2008-05-19T09:03:00.003-04:00

I have it, I know it was my own decision to chop all of mine off, but most days I wish I hadn't.

I spent mother's day weekend with a few of my friends that have the most gorgeous LONG curlyish hair, and it has me pining for days past. It's what I do though, when I need to change myself. I chop off my hair. Which on one had feels fabulous but is bittersweet at the same time. The inner hippie inside me still longs for braids, the girly girl wants it just because, but the practical side wins in the end. Well, today I think I am going to begin to grow my hair long again. (and at the rate my hair grows, I'll check back in with you in about 5 years!)

way to cool

2008-05-06T19:39:00.002-04:00

So I think we have about the most fabulous library system in the country out here in Taxachusetts. The entire state's libraries are interconnected, so whatever you request online will be pulled from the library it's available and delivered to yours. That is just awesome.
NOW.....you can also download audio books directly to your computer instead of getting the cd's and doing it yourself. This excites me more than words can say because I am such an audio book junkie. Not only do I not have to wait for the media to come in at the library, I save the several hours it takes me to rip the entire thing onto my computer. So kudos to the MA taxpayers for a stellar library system. On the menu this week....Animal, Vegetable, Miracle (B. Kingslover) and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.

Learning to take the time

2008-05-05T09:07:00.003-04:00

That is my goal for the next three weeks. Learning to take the time to take care of myself. When I was a teenager it was nothing for me to wash my face before bed or in the morning. To fix my hair or put on a touch of makeup before I went anywhere. To be physically fit and not abuse caffeine. I realize as a parent I have two other people to get ready and out the door, but why the heck should I not care about myself too. And just like with anything repetition makes habit.
So, you ask....What exactly are you going to do Jules? I am going to try and make my outside feel as good as my inside does. I have gained back so much of myself that has been lost all these years, now I just need to match it up. To put it vainly, I have found my inner awesomeness, now I just need to reclaim my outer hotness.
The problem I have, is follow through. I get tons of fantastic ideas, great plans, stellar concepts.....but do I actually do any of it???? Uhhhh...... a big fat no. So my plan is baby steps.
1. must wash face
I'll let you know how that one goes.

Take a deep breath and pass me some bacon.......

2008-05-02T22:58:00.002-04:00

...poly farms, organically fed, free-range bacon that is.
I did it! I made it through another semester, a much more difficult road this time, and passed with flying colors. Talk about a lot of work though!!!! I have about 3 weeks off now until summer session starts, and boy oh boy, I feel like I am free. This weekend is going to consist of some hardcore getting my house back in order. As you can probably tell by my lack of writing, I have not been doing very well with time management, and keeping up with the basics. So I need to FOCUS.
I have gotten almost all the way through a VERY interesting book though......The Omnivore's Dilemma. My lil' sis read this a couple months ago, and I believe everyone in the industrial food eating world should read this book. I can tell you a few things I've decided to do based on this information, without getting too graphic.

I will NEVER eat industrial raised cow again. NEVER.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm a vegetarian now as well. Unless I can find a way to buy local chickens and meat that I know were grass, NOT corn fed, and NOT pumped full of crap.
I will also NEVER buy regular eggs again.

I think down deep I knew that what went on in the process of producing all the mass quantities of meat for the industrial food chain was inhumane. And I've known for a while now that so much of what we as Americans put in our bodies is toxic. Plain and simple, toxic. But honestly, I feel completely opened up now.

After my sis read this book, she went off the grid. She no longer shops or buys produce from grocery stores. All-be-it she lives in Cali, so there is much more opportunity for her to buy from local farmers markets year-round, but she's made it manageable. I think she buys chicken at Trader Joe's. I think that if I buy local as much as possible, learn to eat the foods of the season (like every other country in the world) and stick with the theory if it comes in a box, you probably shouldn't eat it, then I would be making great strides.

It's been awhile

2008-04-20T08:28:00.003-04:00

Hello my friends. Yes, it's been awhile, but I am back and (hopefully) focused. I ended up with VERY sick little boy few weeks ago, and just never got back on track.
Excuses, excuses right?!?!
I am doing very well despite my lack of involvement on the blogging front. It's really hard to sit in front of a computer when it's 70, sunny, and beautiful outside...and the kids are begging to play. I was able to clean off my sun porch and rake up my yard in the last week. So I am feeling pretty good about that. I didn't move into my place until July of last summer, so it's really exciting to have all sorts of spring bulbs coming up, and not knowing what they are going to be. I am just dying to plant something. I think during my 3 week "summer" break from school I'm going to make some raised beds so I can have some veggie plants. I won't get to contribute to the humongous garden at my in laws this year, so I have to pacify my need to grow things somewhere. I need to look for some free wood somewhere.
This last weekend I attended my first ever book club. It was lots of fun. Pretty rad group of girls. Can't wait for the next one. We read "Remember Me" by Sophia Kinsela, which was a cute light read, and we are doing Eat, Pray, Love, for next month. Which I have already read twice, but am totally up for again. I can't wait for discussions on that one.
I am in for a day of studying today. We have just two A & P classes left, a test tonight, and a final next week. I am SOOOOOO looking forward to some time off. Even if it's only 3 weeks.
Peace out y'all

I am happy to say

2008-04-10T00:40:00.002-04:00

I have made it through this day. I tested, I presented, I mothereded, and I even celebrated. Another classmate and I went out after class for a glass and a stress reliever, and had a grand ole time. Cool chick she is.
All my tears and my stressing and my blah blah blahhhiiiinnnggg, did it's job at that present moment, and now I have moved on. I even ended up with my highest grade yet, on last weeks test. Even though I haven't been feeling it lately, there is something to be said about Karma.
Thank you for kind words and love.

Yummy Yummy fruit dip

2008-04-06T22:47:00.002-04:00

Jennie's pudding fruit dip

1 pkg. instant pudding (banana, french vanilla, or butterscotch) whichever you fancy could also be fat free/sugar free
1 cup skim milk
1 cup fat free sour cream

whip all together with a mixer for 2 min. Serve with pieces of strawberry, cantelope, grapes, apples, or anything else that's dippable.

Yum Yum Yum!!!

Filling my well

2008-03-30T15:25:00.002-04:00

A goodreads pal recently turned me onto another great blogger. I just love finding cool new people to read. This particular blog was about "filling up your well". Doing the things you need to do for yourself to be happy. It could be reading a book, taking a bath, enjoying good food, spending time with friends.....etc. For me it is my friends. I am a textbook extrovert. I need to be filled up by spending time with people who love me. Laughing, eating, drinking wine, laughing, being silly girls. It was so much fun. We ate some yummy yummy food. Jennie made a delicious 7 layer Mexican dippy, and Gretel made a sechzuan (sp?) chicken lettuce wrap. And then Jennie cut up some fruit and made this awesome banana pudding/sour cream fruit dip. omg heaven in a bowl. I was SO FULL. But it was all so yummy. And fun. So much fun. I stayed over Gretchen's house and was able to spend some time with her kids in the morning. It was a great weekend. Just what I needed. I had been in a slump for a week or so and now I feel much better. So thank you ladies!

Not so happy Easter

2008-03-23T11:38:00.002-04:00

Today I am sad. I miss my kids. I have a bad cold. I am alone and I miss my family.

I am happy for my children that their superdad has swooped back with a fury, but I am also resentful. Of him. He gets to be the hero. But I am the mama. I just need their hugs.

The Bean Trees

2008-03-21T16:29:00.008-04:00

I just finished this great audio book today, The Bean Trees. The author is Barbara Kingsolver. You know, I have lots of feelings and opinions on all sorts of things bundled up inside of me. And sometimes all it takes is someone else's view to bring it to light or terms inside of me. And then in turn it helps me to express those opinions, kinda like the light bulb moment, "yeah, I feel that way too."

In this case it is refugees and "illegal aliens." First off, I just have to say that term is about the stupidest thing anyone has come up with. I'm the girl who actually went hundreds of miles out of the way to hit Roswell, NM in my travelling days. So anytime I hear aliens, I think UFO. (I have actually made this mistake [in conversations] on more than one occasion.) And realistically any of us who are not of Native American descent are immigrants. So who am I to judge you and when you decided to join this nation. We (the US) seem to want to share our views and force our ways on lots of other nations, but what about here, in our "own" lands (which we raped and stole away from the people it actually belongs too.) Who are we to judge.

We are all born on this earth, grown in a womb, and birthed. We all eat, shit, breath the same air. We all make garbage and hopefully want what's best for our children. We are all the same. No one can help being born or where they are born. But if they do they are persecuted for it? Called a derogatory name and cast back. I just don't understand. I know people have issues because "they" are "stealing" our jobs. Why don't you have an issue with the jobs being outsourced to China? I can't even get started on the China front, it would be opening up a whole other can of worms with their funding of genocide in Africa.

Stop wasting all that energy on people coming here to better themselves, and start protesting all the jobs lost to Asia. Stop buying stuff made in China. Try it for a week and see how hard it is. If you feel the need to bask in negativity to have a full life then why don't you try focusing that negativity to make a positive change for man kind.

I swear the hippies had it right, peace, love and rock-n-roll.

I'm all weepy and stuff

2008-03-13T22:44:00.003-04:00

L and I finally finished up our Lord of the Rings trilogy tonight. What a movie (they all are really). I am all weepy and emotional now from the ending. I feel like I am somewhat of a "deep" person. I try and think on many different levels. If I could one thing about myself I feel is important it would be my open mindedness (I REALLY try not to pass judgement on anyone). And these movies (books really) have such an unbelievable message in them. I feel like anything I could type right now wouldn't do them justice. One of my favorite parts is at the very end, when Aragorn comes out as the king, and everyone is bowing to him. They flash to the four Hobbits who bow too. And Aragorn comes over to them and says " You bow to no one", and then the whole place bows down to these four little Hobbits. Because of love, friendship, and dedication to one another, these most unlikely of heroes became them.
Maybe I can be a hero someday.

Oh boy

2008-03-13T00:47:00.002-04:00

That test was hard. Harder than the first, by far, and I am NOT feeling very confident. At this point I just hope I passed. There were a good 10-15 questions I had to make educated guesses on. I guess I just didn't study the right stuff this time. At least next week is spring break.....I just wish I could have a vacation!!!

Just gotta keep singin her praises

2008-03-10T18:08:00.003-04:00

I did not realize until LATE last night that Lilac didn't have school today. I was going through her backpack in my attempt to get things organized for the chaotic morning, and there was the note. NO SCHOOL ON MONDAY DUE TO TRAINING. So I brought my beautiful little flower to school with me today. She had to sit through my math class and 4 hours of studying in the Library. And she was an angel. She entertained herself and let me do what I needed to do. I was able even able to study with a buddy. So thank you baby girl. Even though we may butt heads on just about everything else, you do always seem to pull through for me when I need you too.

As much as I want too

2008-03-09T21:14:00.002-04:00

tell you about my new cute haircut, sleepover in NH, and drama (again) with the BL, I just don't have the time. I have another biggish exam this Wednesday on a bazillion lectures and must study. Kids just did not want to go to sleep tonight with the whole time change thing. More later, I promise.

Not so quiet Friday Night

2008-03-08T00:51:00.003-05:00

A few friends came for a sleepover tonight. Tina and Jennie from NH came to see me and Jenn, and are staying the night and spending the day tomarrow. We have had so much fun just sitting around and laughing. Drinking wine, reminising, and looking at pictures of the good ole days. I'm pretty lucky to have such good friends, really. To just pick up right where we left off, ten years later. Thank you ladies for making me feel loved!!!!!

I don't understand

2008-03-05T07:28:00.002-05:00

I though elections were determined by electoral votes. Each state has a certain number based on population, and whoever wins the state's popular vote, gets the electoral votes. So what is this delegate, super delegate stuff. I really don't understand, so insight please!

I had to bribe him with video games

2008-03-04T22:23:00.009-05:00

My son is beginning to develop fears over lots of different but yet similar things. The bath, the haircut, and band aid removal are the three big ones at the moment. Each ensues it's own demon possession moment in Max, with me waiting for his head to spin around.

Today he needed a bath. So I prepped him for it, then started the tears. Then I decided to do the only thing a desperate parent can do in this kind of circumstance....I bribed him. He has a Nintendo DS and has really wanted a case for it, so I decided to take him into Game Stop and let him pick out one....On the condition that he would let me wash his hair without screaming and clawing at me. (note to self: you should never take your child into game stop, unless you plan on buying a game!) So I bought him a game too. All I wanted was his little head to smell yummy again, and by golly I would do just about anything to get there.

So when we get home he decides he really does not want to take a bath. So now I have to reason with him (cough: yell) and make him understand (cough again: threaten) he will lose his new stuff if he does not cooperate.

I am so glad to say that he did get in the bath (only after I got in first,) and he did let me wash his hair (with no screaming.) And he even let me take his picture with the snorkeling goggles he wore so the water didn't get into his eyes. It was a great success.

Now with my luck he'll pee all over both of us tonight and I'll be headed back to game stop tomorrow. I sure do love my boy!

how cool is my kid?

2008-03-03T21:27:00.002-05:00

My daughter and I have our issues. She is just like me as a kid. Relentless, won't take no for an answer, 1000 different ways to ask the same question.....but I am still just as headstrong as well. When I say when, I mean when. Sometimes I feel like a mean mommy, but if you don't follow through, then what's the point. I will admit I need to exercise the "choose your battles" a little more, but at this point I am where I am. If there is one thing both my kids are, it's considerate and respectful (typically more so outside the home.)
So in a recent whim I decided to start the Lord of the Rings Trilogy with her (movies, not books). Something we can snuggle together and watch. She seems to really like it. She really likes a few of the characters and is very concerned what's going to happen with them next. And aside from her asking a MILLION questions during the movie it has been nothing but enjoyable so far.
Now that being said, I will also share with you the events of earlier this evening when a neighbor Jacob came over to play. Max and Jacob were racing match box cars down Max's race track. Lilac lasted about 7.3 seconds racing the cars then decided the boys needed a cheerleader. So she raced into her room, dressed her AG doll in her cheerleader outfit and then created some sort of ensemble for herself. She then started trying to get the boys to pick names for their teams and colors so she could cheer for them. I could feel Jacob's eyes rolling from the other room. All the boys wanted to do was race their cars!!! Poor Lilac. This is not the first time the boys did not want to partake in her drama. Only if it involves zombies, zombie slayers (and no princesses) will the older boy join in her fantasy world. She really needs to have another weekend playing with the Leggett children to fulfill her drama requirements!!