Change your T

16 Lessons I have learnt for being a Father for 1 Year

2010-07-27T13:22:17Z

I am celebrating one year as a father. It gives me pride and joy to share a few things that I have learnt as a father for that one year.

I am pretty aware that it is rare to see an African man, I mean real African man, airing things to do with babies openly. I am an ‘African warrior’, not of swords, rungus (clubs) and arrows but of the ‘TRUE VALUES’ that makes a man.

When I was single I always dreamt of being a father. However, I was really afraid. I mean very fearful of being unable to provide for my family. This could be a disaster for me. I felt no obligation to marry if I knew I could not provide for my family. This prompted me to work hard and study hard which got me where I am now. Check something small about me by clicking here.

Back to the serious matter and realities of being a father. Different men have different experiences once they cross the bridge to parenthood. Some dread the experiences, others cherish every passing second.

I cherish every passing second. So join me in the ship of experiences.

16 Things that I have learnt as a father.

Joy. I have known having a baby can create exactly what I see in movies and TVs; babies create joy, happiness, togetherness and instill sense of pride.
Member. As a father, I gained respect in the community. Other parents view me as a ‘member’, so I get chances to attend birthdays and christening events of other babies in my neighborhood (I am not living in Kenya at the moment).
First class treatment. I get special treatment in all means of transport that I use. When flying with my son, I am given the privilege to board the plane first, I get a special, spacious seat and air hostesses go out of their way to help us with the baby during embarking and boarding. In buses, I am given a special seat (please do not ask me whether I get special treatment in a matatu). It is great to be a father.
Responsibility. I am more responsible. Never leave the baby with someone you do not trust. One day, I saw a friend trying to give my son beer when he was 10 months old.I had to yell and shout at her. Shame on her!
Sleepless nights. Babies can wake you up at ungodly hours of the night. Instead of firing fire works, the turn of 2010 came while I was in hospital. This is not something to regret about. It was a unique way of ushering in 2010.
Cut a corner. I used to hear Meru women sing that ‘a baby can make you negotiate a corner’, I understand the deeper meaning of that statement now. A baby can make you do some wonderful, silly but funny things. I know all toy shops in my town as well as their opening and closing times. By the way, as a father I know it is not wise to buy toys during Christmas. They are damned expensive. Plan well, buy them after the festive season (they are cheaper by far) and store them. Also avoid buying computer games and videos when they debut into the market. Wait for the price to subside.
Parents first. If I go to a party where we need to queue for food or something else, I hold my son. That way, I am ushered to be served first. Isn’t it wonderful to be a father?
Un-invited guests. As a father make sure there are enough drinks and bites in the house to avoid embarrassment. Respectable guests can pop in to greet the baby uninvited, especially if they come from my community.

Simple accessories you should have as a father.
1. Good digital camera
Moments come and go, never to be reappear. Capture those memories.

I use Panasonic FS-62 (10 Mega pixels). I must say it gives me above average images. I like it and in future, I will stick with Panasonic for still images. Prior to buying Panasonic, I was using a 5 Megapixels Fuji digital camera. It was good at that time but not anymore.

A baby does a new and fascinating things every day. Captured moments will always create joy and fun whenever reviewed.

Ensure the batteries are always charged and the memory card has space. The camera should always be easily accessible wherever you are. The best place to put the camera is in the bag that carries the baby accessories. That way, you are sure it is always within reach.

I wish you can capture the first cry of your baby immediately after birth. It will remain memorable.

2. Diary
There are several appointments for the baby which must be honoured. A good diary will keep you on top of things. You will know whenever a vaccination or development check-up clinic is coming up.

Make sure to get an off day from duty or work to attend your baby’s developmental check-up. Never leave these check-ups to the maid or just the mother. Be there.

This is part 1 of 16 lessons I have learnt for being a father for 1 year. Look forward to part 2.

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Discover The Potential Inside You

2010-07-19T11:55:15Z

“A beggar had been sitting by the side of a road for over 30 years. One day a stranger walked by. The beggar extended a old bow and mumbled “Do you have some change?”
“I have nothing to give you,” said the stranger. Then the stranger asked: “What’s that you are sitting on?”
“Nothing,” replied the beggar. “Just an old box. I have been sitting on it for as long as I can remember.”
“Ever looked inside?” asked the stranger.
“No,” said the beggar. “What’s the point? There’s nothing in there.”
“Have a look inside,” insisted the stranger.

The beggar managed to pry open the lid. With astonishment, disbelief, and elation, he saw that the box was filled with gold.

I am that stranger who has nothing to give you and who is telling you to look inside. Not inside any box, as in the parable, but somewhere even closer: inside yourself. (extracted from The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle)

1. Right inside you there is a potential of a best seller author.
2. Right inside you there is a potential of a high caliber scientist.
3.Right inside you there is a potential of a great musician.
4.Right inside you there is a potential of a billionaire.
5.Right inside you there is a potential to be ….(fill the blank).

Factors hindering you from realising the dormant potential in you.

I am sure after reading the above parable, you are really psyched and about to explode with power, motivation and optimism. You are feeling that you have to discover the full potential in you. You feel that you have been missing such a inspiring story to kickstart your successful life.

To be sincere this is not the first time you have felt like this. It is possible that in the past you were inspired by someone (a preacher, a motivational speaker or after reading a book) and felt that it was the time to leave mediocrity and go for excellence. However, after a few days or hours, the inspiration and motivation started to dwindle. You started feeling less motivated. You even started to doubt whether the motivation was real. Most likely, you completely lost the psyche and reverted to your old self. You went back to the bad old self who was just drifting through life without clear purpose or motivation.

My guess is that two limiting beliefs usurped your motivation. These two worst enemies of success caused you to start questioning everything including the real essence of life.

All successful people are aware of these enemies of success and they avoid them like plague. This is your day to name and shame these enemies after which you will discover the powerhouse inside you. These two enemies are status quo and Excuses.

1. Status Quo
Re-read the above parable and you will shocked to realise how the beggar responded when asked what he has been sitting on.

Stranger: “What’s that you are sitting on?”

Beggar: “Nothing,” “Just an old box. I have been sitting on it for as long as I can remember.”

Stranger: “Ever looked inside?”

Beggar: “No,” “What’s the point? There’s nothing in there.”

The beggar had never bothered to look inside the box. This is laziness of the highest order. He viewed the box as a useless thing to be used as a stool or chair. Although inside the box there was gold. He was begging for coins which were extremely valueless compared to gold. For 30 years he was suffering although he was supposed to be wealthy.

Could you be sitting on the gold while begging for coins? Think twice.

Do you have to do things the way they have always been done? Evaluate your potential, you will be amazed what you are capable of achieving.

2.Excuses

Follow the excerpt below,

Stranger: “Have you ever looked inside the box?”
Beggar: “No,”. “What’s the point? There’s nothing in there.”

I pity the beggar for giving such a silly excuse. There was no point of looking inside the box because nothing useful was inside. How wrong was he?

Probably you have silly excuses such as:
-You know, I am not educated like him or her, so it is not possible to achieve much with my limited education.
- I do not know how stockmarket works. (For your information, nobody was born knowing how to do things, we all learn).
- In our community, women are not supposed to think like that (climb trees even success ladders!).
- I am not as talented as Churchill the comedian (Everyone is uniquely talented, there are no copy cats in the world, there was Nyambane, now it’s Churchill next will be you).

I used to have excuses. One of my excuses was that I am a poor writer. Even my English teacher in high school criticised me for poor writing skills.

It reached a point I got fed up and I had to overcome that limiting excuse. I gained courage to face my excuses and started this website (www.changeyourt.com) where I write an inspirational article every week. Despite its modest nature, this website is a source of motivation and help to many. I don’t think my writing skills are the best, but I am sure you will agree with me I did a honourable thing to face my excuses.

I encourage you to face your excuses and discover the potential lurking inside you.

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