Changing My Career ... Am I Nuts or What ??

Love what you do, put your heart into it and you will be rewarded – A. Morse

2012-03-15T14:46:00.002-04:00

Alarm goes off at 6:40 am
Snooze
Alarm goes off at 6:50 am
Snooze

Yes yes. I'm a snoozer. I know I need to be out of bed at 7:00 am but I set my alarm 20 minutes early so I can hit the snooze button and sleep in longer. I do realize I'd get more actual, quality sleep if I just set the alarm for 7 am, but this is the logic of a night owl that hates getting up in the morning. I know it’s a fucked up notion but it works for me. It’s actually gotten better over the years; I used to set my alarm for one full hour before my necessary wake time.

At 7 am I quite literally drag my ass out of bed - no matter what time I have to get up I'm never in bed before midnight and typically it’s much later.

Shower # 1 then out the door by 7:30 am. Today I have a client right at 8 am so I must drink my coffee en route. If you thought trainers were tough normally, try working with one that hasn't had their morning coffee !!

One of my biggest pet peeves is tardiness so I'm very rarely late, and most often I’m considerably early. However for an 8 am appointment I'm a mere 10 minutes early; time to put on my PT t-shirt and get organized before my first client of the day. Today I'm training someone for their first ever session so I usually like to give it a bit of extra time while we both learn a little bit about each other.

This particular session is just half hour but after all the initial paperwork and signing off on our session its 8:45 am when we're done. A quick 15 minute break ... breakfast and bathroom before I'm on to my next appointment, this one is a fitness assessment for a new member. We are done in 45 minutes so I grab a quick snack, another bathroom break and then 1/2 hour on the floor before my next client at 10:30 - another half hour training session.

45 more minutes of floor shift, then I am doing fitness clinics for some of our junior squash members as its March break. Six kids between the ages of 9 and 12 for one full hour of circuit training plus a cardio workout. Keeping these kids motivated and in line proves to be quite challenging !! I ended the session with a push up contest and a prize for the winner, with smaller treats for the rest of them as a consolation prize.

It’s now 1 pm so time for lunch. I try and pack my own including all my snacks for the day even though there's a wonderful bistro on site. I get a decent staff discount, and while they do offer some healthy and very tasty options, I still prefer to brown bag it as often as possible.

My 2 pm assessment appointment texts to cancel so now I have some time to kill before my next clinic for the squash kids at 3:45 pm. Some days if my free time between appointments is long enough I'll go home and back, but today isn't one of those days. I sit in the bistro and get some work done on my Netbook while I digest a little. Next is a quick 3 mile run on the treadmill and I head to the lockers for shower # 2 ... on a good day I may enjoy a sauna or steam first though.

This will be my last opportunity to relax until I get home later in the evening. After the 2nd clinic with the squash kids I have 5 more training sessions going right through until 9:30 pm. By the time I pack up and drive home it’s close to 10:00 in the evening. Including travel time I've just completed a 14 1/2 hour day.

I feed my pets (1 cat and 2 fish) and the guilt over leaving my cat alone for 14+ hours is overwhelming. She is starving for attention and I happily oblige.

The exhaustion I feel is incomprehensible. Not only did I put in 14 hours, most of which were on my feet, tomorrow is lining up to be the same. I start at 8 am and will leave no sooner than 9:30 pm, and the day itself is pretty much full.

I feel like a real trainer now. Many of my coworkers put in similar hours, so they can relate to how I feel. However I'm not even close to full potential as they are ... while the first 3 days of this week were jam packed for me, Thursday and Friday are mere 6 and 7 hour days, and I have my weekend free and clear. My colleagues are not so lucky.

But don't get me wrong. While my poor body aches for some rest, I couldn't be happier. While I'm there and doing my thing, it still doesn't feel like work to me. I don't have to put on a happy face; this here smile is genuine :)

And while not every tale is a success story (yet), I am really starting to see the rewards of the job. Clients whose moods, appearance, fitness and outlook on life have improved thanks to my services. I had a client the other day show me how many good quality push-ups she could do (10 if you must know), remembering how she could barely eke out just one at our first meeting. She was ecstatic and told me I should be proud. I retorted that SHE should be the one who was proud, she did all the hard stuff, I just laid the groundwork.

I was still kinda proud though, and it was a great compliment :)

All you need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust – Peter Pan

2011-12-26T23:19:00.000-05:00

I was inspired once again while watching, of all things, the movie Finding Neverland.

Johnny Depp plays renowned novelist and playwright J.M. Barrie, the creator of Peter Pan. Mr. Barrie found his inspiration for the now infamous tale through a family of 4 boys that he met randomly one day in the park. Throughout the movie, he tells the boys that you will never make your dreams become reality unless you truly believe it will happen and envisioning them coming true.

“It's not going to work if no one believes in him”

"He imagines life the way he wants it to be, and he believes in it long enough and hard enough, that it all appears before him"

"He just believes”

J.M. Barrie was quite accomplished in his day, despite his modest upbringing and his decision to pursue a career in literature, and much to the chagrin of his parents who wanted him to become a minister.

Score one more in favour of the powers of positive thinking :)

Now if I could just apply this philosophy to the other aspects of my life, I'd be all set. Its working wonders for my career, however certain areas of my personal life are still lagging behind.

While I'm thrilled that I finally lost those elusive last 5 pounds, I'm not completely happy with the way I look, and more importantly the way I feel. I still ride that diet and fitness roller-coaster, however now it’s a weekly ride as opposed to week long or month long bouts. Progress ???

My weight loss is small but noticeable; I've had several clients and coworkers comment on it - and trust me, they're a tough crowd. But I'm still not happy :( Then again, I'm a woman … are we ever happy?

I sense some New Year's resolutions on the horizon, though as I pointed out last year, I typically don't do very well with a Band Aid solution to a lifelong problem. And last year I proved myself right as I failed yet again to complete the tasks at hand. I guess I did eventually, but nowhere near according to plan.

Each and every day I notice the commitment and dedication put forth by my fellow trainers, and while I feel inspired and somewhat awestruck, I still hear those rumblings in my head; how I could never do what they do, could never be that discipline, could never be THAT fit.

Never is an ugly word :(

But 2012 will be different !! Armed with my new-found knowledge on deliberate creation and the secret to success, I hope to incorporate these values into my physical and emotional beings; the intellectual being is already in a pretty good place ;)

The plan is not to lose any weight per se, but to actually be fit and healthy. I still have zero control over food, and I still think about it nearly every second of every day. These past few days have been a holiday food and booze free-for-all, and I feel utterly disgusted with myself. And again, it’s not merely a matter of just indulging a wee bit and enjoying the Christmas season. I’ve eaten and drank more in the past 3 days than most people do in a week.

This ride is taking its toll on my body, and while I’m still lucky enough to bounce back fairly quickly from these binges, one has to wonder how long my luck will last. I’m tired of constantly feeling eater’s remorse … enough is enough.

In the tale of Peter Pan, Wendy tells Hook that in order to fly, you just think happy thoughts; and they lift you into the air. Well … that and a bit of fairy dust. The happy thoughts I can muster, now I just need to get a hold of some of that dust.

I do believe in fairies, I do, I do.

The mind is everything. What we think we become – Buddha

2011-12-05T22:41:00.001-05:00

Wow, it's been a while ... since I've written in my blog that is. The good news is I've been a busy little bee. Or is it beaver? Either way I've been busy !!

Training is going great, and the even better news is I still love my job. I doubled my training hours from October to November, but I still have a long way to go. Like most things in life, there are tons of opportunities out there, you just have to go out and get it.

A friend saw a memo on my Blackberry a few weeks back that I had titled "Law of Attraction". He inquired as to the meaning so I showed him the contents of it:

Fours Steps to Deliberate Creation:

1) Identify what you DON'T want.
2) From that, identify what you DO want.
3) Get into the feeling place of what you want.
4) Expect, listen, and allow it to happen.

I thought he would laugh at me or roll his eyes back in an "oh brother" type fashion, but it turns out he's a fan of the movement, for lack of a better word. He claims to have used it to get to where he is today, and he's doing pretty damn well for himself.

He recommended another book to me, quite possibly the bible of all self-help books ever published. It’s called Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill. It was written in the 30's, making it a bit of a difficult read, but I'm muddling through it as best I can. There is an updated version referred to as the 21st-Century Edition, however I decided to purchase the original publication and read it as it was intended.

The book teaches you not only how to achieve monetary wealth, but the author claims the philosophy taught in the book can be used to help individuals succeed in all lines of work and to do or be almost anything they want in this world.

Sweet :)

It took Mr. Hill over twenty years to research the book, and the contents are based on his close association with a large number of individuals who achieved great wealth during their lifetimes.

This new (to me) book has a slightly different mantra than the one quoted above. Rather than having the reader believe riches will flow to you simply by closing your eyes tight, wishing really hard and envisioning it happening, this author explains that you have to work hard to get what you want in life. Duh !!

He does however, reiterate the theory that you have to think positively and truly believe it will happen in order to succeed. Part of his intonation is as follows:

Steps for Transmuting Desire Into Reality:

1) Fix in your mind the exact amount of money you desire. Be definite as to the amount.
2) Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the money you desire.
3) Establish a definite date when you intend to possess the money you desire.
4) Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire, and begin at once, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action.

Notice the parts about giving something in return for the money, and creating and carrying out a plan ?? Perhaps it’s time to update my Blackberry memo.

He goes on to say you should write out your plan as stated above, read it out loud daily, and see and feel and believe yourself already in possession of the money.

I had begun to feel discouraged in my work :( Yes, I was training and progressing with my work load, but quite literally at a snail's pace. After reading just a few chapters, my outlook started to change. I think I just needed a quick reminder, something to help me refocus my energies and correct my diminishing attitude. What I needed was a good swift kick in the butt - no more woolgathering for me !!

With a shift in my mindset my clientele grew, as did my disposition. And perhaps the best news of all is I'm feeling more positive and enthusiastic about my career prospects than ever before. I have a new plan of attack, and I didn't even wait to jump on the resolution bandwagon.

To quote another famous Napoleon, Bonaparte that is ... "He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat".

I will not let fear defeat me ... the only thing I fear is spiders ;-)

The frontier between hell and heaven is only the difference between two ways of looking at things - George Bernard Shaw

2011-09-12T01:48:00.002-04:00

At the risk of alienating some of my friends that may read this post and are guilty of the forthcoming abominations, I feel the need to blog about certain obstacles that I continually encounter in my quest for finding my inner peace … my Zen … my Yin and my Yang !!

I’m referring of course to diet and exercise, and my constant, constant battle with these elements every single day of my life.

Do you ever find when you are trying to make improvements in your life, or make yourself a better person in some way, shape or form, that there are always people out there ... and interestingly enough your friends, that try and sabotage your efforts?

I can't tell you how many times I've been trying to make plans with someone, and while arranging our schedules around my workout, they say to me "just skip it". Or when I say no if offered a tempting yet fattening treat, they say "oh c'mon, you can afford it". Are these people really trying to help me, or are they secretly trying to make me fail?

I hear it all the time; people telling me that I look great and I don't need to worry so much about diet and exercise, and while I appreciate their encouragement and support, I actually get a little bit angry when I hear these comments.

While their sentiments are nice, ultimately how they see me doesn't really matter in the long run. I’m sorry, I know that sounds cold and callous, but it's true. And if you ask me, that’s a healthier way to think. I shouldn't be basing my efforts in life or even my overall happiness for that matter on how others perceive me; I need to be happy with myself. Bottom line.

While certain others perceive me as fit or even skinny, I don't see that at all. Yes, I'm aware that sometimes there is a sickness of the mind, where your own vision is distorted and that we are all much harsher on ourselves than others, but I know right now this is not the case. Just one short year ago I was VERY happy with how I looked and had no problem with what I saw in the mirror. And no offense to those people who tell me I look great, but they haven't seen me naked.

I want that image back again so badly it hurts :(

But while I want it so desperately, I honestly don't know if I have what it takes to get there. I feel like I'm in diet purgatory; I know what I must do to get where I want to be, but not only do I feel I'm lacking the oomph, I also don't think I have the desire. I don't want to have the perfect diet where I rarely, if ever allow myself to enjoy all the pleasures good food and drink have to offer. My way is much more fun :)

Back last fall while contemplating my career change, I commented how fitness and good nutrition don’t come naturally to me, and now that I’m surrounded by others who do this for a living, I’ve confirmed my suspicions. I watch these people daily and observe how healthy eating and regular exercise are just a part of their lives, like they don't even have to think about it. I hardly think they have this never ending battle going on inside their heads, weighing out the pros and cons of every little morsel that passes their lips, then beating themselves up with guilt after they've made the "wrong" decision.

Perhaps my anger towards my sabotaging friends is really a deflection; I'm angry because when they tell me to skip the workouts or indulge in the evil yet delicious foods, I really really REALLY want to do just that.

Heaven help me.

What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do - John Ruskin

2011-08-29T22:13:00.001-04:00

It seems I've been bitten by the lazy bug again. A thick blanket of dust has started to settle on my Nutrition textbook, as it did on my Personal Training text a few short months ago.

Part of it is sheer laziness; I got into the habit of studying in the evenings, and even when I worked floors shifts only at my new job. However most nights now I have training clients, which of course is wonderful and the whole point of it all. But the training has distracted me from studying, and that’s not so wonderful.

Habits can be a gawd awful thing, especially when those habits are bad ones. Those seem to be the hardest ones to break though don't they? Why is that ?? Perhaps because the bad ones are usually the most fun ;)

So I need to find a way out of the habit of not studying, if that makes any sense. I started by taking my books out of my locker at work where they had made their permanent home, and brought them to my actual home. However they remain there today, still in my knapsack, waiting to escape their canvas entrapment.

I suppose part of my elusiveness is that I'm working now, doing what I set out to do, so putting the remainder of my studies on the back burner comes easier to me. There's no sense of urgency to get this next course completed. My only motivation at the moment is not to waste the money I spent on the course, which had to be paid up front. Well that and my general desire to earn my Nutrition Certification and expand my knowledge and job opportunities of course, which was also part of the original plan.

Everything else is going quite well and according to plan. I completed a 12 week, 10K running training program the week before last, took one week of rest (from the running only, not from training entirely), and today I started up again. The first program was a beginner plan, and I completed 202 miles of the 215 that were required. Now I've signed up for the intermediate program which slates 274 miles over the 12 week period. I love, love, love the running; the only challenge I’ve encountered is getting in weight training in addition to running. And I do not want to give up one in favour of the other. Some days require me to run 6-10 miles, which takes me an hour or more, so trying to squeeze in even 1/2 hour more of gym time can be quite challenging.

But hey, that’s me, I like a challenge, and running, training, working and studying should keep me sufficiently busy for the next little while. If I don't have a number of things like this going on in my life I'd be bored to tears. I'm not much of a TV whore, so I gotta fill my time somehow. It's a good thing golf season is nearing its end ... but then of course hockey season starts so that should make things fun :)

And the "diet" is also going quite well. I'm not following the proposed plan very closely, but just putting the guidelines in my head have helped me clean up my act. I only lost 1 1/2 pounds in the first two weeks, but I feel a helluva lot better, and more importantly I'm not obsessing about it.

Progress makes perfect :)

To Carb, or Not to Carb, That is the Question

2011-08-19T17:22:00.000-04:00

So I sorta, kinda found a diet plan to follow ... maybe. I actually started it Monday and must admit after just 5 days of clean eating I'm feeling a million times better already. I say kinda because I'm not following it to a tee, but more on that later. And despite some heartfelt and most likely wise advise NOT to diet from some friends and family in response to my last blog, I’m still gonna give it a go.

The plan is one that comes with a new workout craze that's out in the market of late called Insanity. If anyone stays up watching late night infomercials on t.v. you'll know what I'm referring to; it's also the successor of P90X, another very popular workout series from a few years back.

I must admit when I first heard of this workout and its accompanying meal plan, I assumed that it would be a waste of my time ... extremely low cal, low or no carb, and super restrictive in terms of choices and variety. Well I ended up eating my own words. It's actually, IMHO, a pretty damn good plan.

It has you calculate the required amount of calories to eat per day based on something called the Harris Benedict equation, the very same equation that my nutrition book recommends as a means for healthy eating. The formula first calculates your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR), the number of calories you would burn at rest; just to live and breathe. It then factors in daily activity, resulting in a number that represents how many calories you should consume daily to maintain your current weight, based on your current level of physical activity. Then to gain or lose weight you simply add or subtract from this number. It also recommends doing this by no more than 500 calories, which would result in a gain or loss of one pound per week. 500 x 7 days per week = 3500 calories, the equivalent of one pound. Yes, it's still ALWAYS about the numbers ;)

Other than the fact that it allows a safe and effective amount of calories that won't leave you feeling deprived and/or starving, I like it because there's lots of variety (there are over 50 recommended meals included), it has you eating 5 or more times a day (woot woot !!), and most of all it includes plenty of carbs !!

So to address the title to my post today, to carb or not to carb, my answer is abso-fucking-lutely :)

I do now, and always have, and always will, eat carbs. And here’s why ...

* the body needs carbs - it's our primary source of energy for working out, and for basic everyday living

* carbs do not make you fat

* carbs are not the enemy

* I love my carbs :)

* and last but not least ... CARBS DO NOT MAKE YOU FAT !!

I really don't want to get in to all the technical aspects of it, but please please please trust me on this one. This is actual fact, not information from some journalist, or a "doctor" with a PhD in horticulture that decided to get on the multiple-million dollar diet bandwagon by taking advantage of the latest fad and writing a diet book, thereby getting rich off millions of desperate hopefuls looking for a miracle cure.

The bottom line is you get fat by exercising too little and eating too much, of anything !! Anyone who loses weight on a low carb or no carb diet does so because by limiting or restricting carbs they are by default reducing their caloric intake. Period.

Yes yes, there are "bad carbs" out there that we should try and avoid, or at least minimize. Cakes, pies, sweets, donuts and all those other sugary sweet treats that most people tend to crave. However not all carbs fall into this category and the rest of them are not only part of a healthy, balanced diet, they are 100% completely necessary in your diet. Whole grains, fruits, veggies, brown rice and pasta; for god’s sake people please eat and enjoy these wonderfully delicious and nutritious foods.

That being said, it’s even okay to eat those bad, evil carbs now and again (white bread and white rice ... OH THE HORROR !!!). Eating them in moderation won't kill you or make you fat. Deprivation never works in the long run, trust me on this one. You know how many times I've heard people say "I'm gonna do that (insert the name of a low carb diet here) again, it really worked the first time"? If it really worked the first time, why do you need to do it again ?!?!

So that's why I said in my first paragraph that I'm not following this new diet to a tee. I'm following the general guidelines and have used several of their meal suggestions this week, but even then not 100% of the time. If I go out with friends or to a party or event, I will enjoy said event and not think about restricting my food or alcohol intake. I mostly just need to keep that in check. No stopping off at 7-Eleven to load up on junk food on my way home :( No more 3, 4 or 5 day binges of eating everything in site until I’m nearly ready to puke.

OK maybe not never, but not nearly as often ;-)

A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti - Hannibal Lecter

2011-08-10T23:30:00.000-04:00

I’m going to do something I am always swearing to people I never, ever, EVER do. I’m going to go on a diet. Ugh :(

I’ve been struggling so much with my diet lately, and I’ve come to realize that my issues with food are way bigger than I realized. Remember back, what … six months ago, when I said I was 5 or so pounds overweight and committed to losing those last few pounds? Well that commitment was half-assed at best, and although several times in those 6 months I did come very close to my goal and started feeling really good about myself, that weight loss and those good feelings were very short lived.

Up, down, up, down, up, down. This weight loss roller coaster is making me fucking dizzy.

I think about food CONSTANTLY. I think about what I’m going to eat, what I should be eating, what I shouldn’t be eating, how much I’m eating, what I want to be eating. It’s a major problem, and it’s consuming my life. I need to get this fixed, and I need to do it now.

I get into these zones, where I’m eating so well and I quickly start to see results and feel better about myself; then one little thing will happen, and every effort I’ve made goes crashing out the window.

I have one night out with a friend, or a work event or a party or a family function, and I gorge on all the bad, forbidden foods like the earth as we know it is coming to an end. But it doesn’t stop there; if it did, it wouldn’t really be that serious a problem. I leave the party or whatever it is, drive home and stop at the store and load up on all kinds of crap, foods I wouldn’t ever normally eat. I come home and shovel it all in, quite literally to the point where I’m feeling nauseous.

And then there’s the booze. Since I’m eating all the shite foods, I may as well pour in all the calories I can while I’m “cheating”. So I down several beers, or a bottle of wine, or a couple or several glasses of vodka, or some combination of the above. Booze = calories, so in my mind it’s a cheat too.

For some reason I have a hard time enjoying a night out or a nice meal with a friend without the warped logic in my head saying “get it all in now while you can”. I wake up the next morning feeling fat and gross and full of regret. It’s gotten to the point that sometimes I will refuse invitations simply because I know it will throw all of my clean eating efforts into a major turmoil :(

Can someone please tell me what the fuck is wrong with me ?????

The only solution I can think of right now is to get strict, and follow a plan. Ten weeks ago I signed up for a running program on the Nike+ Running website. It’s a 12 week, 10K training plan, and to date I have only missed 2 runs in 10 weeks, and there have been 4 runs scheduled each week. My dumb-ass Type A personality works well when I have a detailed plan set out in front of me. The program tells me how much to run each day, and I do it !! It’s really quite that simple. So I’m thinking, hoping, praying ?!?! that if I set out a detailed diet plan that tells me what and how much to eat each day, perhaps this will finally help me reach my goal and stay there !!

So the big question now is what plan will I follow ?? I’m going to do a bit of research in the next day or two and get back to you on that one …

To quote many a calorie counter from days past, the diet starts Monday :)

He who hears not the music thinks the dancer mad - African proverb

2011-07-25T21:52:00.000-04:00

I’ve been writing in my blog for close to a year now, and though many have suggested potential responses, I think I finally found the answer to the question “Am I Nuts or What ??”.

The answer is … I am indeed.

Less than 2 weeks ago I wrote about a “fantastic opportunity” at my workplace; to work as the Acting Fitness Manager for my boss who may have to take her mat leave early due to some unfortunate complications. Late last week I found out that she will not be returning to work and therefore her mat leave will be starting immediately. And that very same day I walked into the Club Manager’s office and told her I was not interested in taking the job.

While I thought at first it was a great opportunity, and who knows, maybe it is, after just a few days in the job I quickly realized it is not at all what I want to do. Sitting behind that desk again for 8 hours plus, plugging away at the computer and filling out paperwork, attending meetings, doing those mundane administrative tasks ... it was all just too familiar.

It was exactly what I left last summer and swore I would never do again. But I was lured in by trivial things like job security, a boost to my resume and a regular full-time salary. Silly me. If I had wanted those I'd have gone back to accounting a year ago like a good little girl.

But there were many more reasons I decided not to take the job. I want to be a trainer full-time, eventually adding nutrition counseling to my repertoire. And while I was assured that I could train concurrently with the Fitness Manager job, I quickly realized how difficult this would be. I have just 5 clients so far, but still I found it difficult to prep for those clients while performing my daily office duties. I don’t want to just go through some cookie-cutter program for these people … I like to take my time designing a program that will work for them personally so I can help them reach their goals.

On top of that, not once in that 2 week span did I pick up my nutrition text and continue my studies. And I found it very difficult to find time to train myself ... physically I am not feeling on top of my game. How on earth could I manage any more clients or finish my nutrition course? And training clients outside of my gym would be nearly impossible.

So while I could certainly handle some PT clients while performing the Manager role, I can’t see that I could successfully build my client base or my business enough to sustain a living. And then what happens when that one year mat leave is done and my boss comes back to work? Am I to start over again at that point to grow my clientele? That doesn’t sound very smart to me.

Bottom line is not only does taking this job seem unwise for my planned career path, but my heart is really not in it :(

They took the news very well and were very supportive of my decision, then posted the job internally last week. I finished off the two week contracted period, and today I went back to my regular, part-time hours of floor shifts and personal training. I did offer to help out if they needed it while they searched for a replacement, and they gratefully accepted.

Perhaps 6 months down the road I will regret this decision, but something tells me this is what I need to do. I’ve stuck to my guns thus far, and taking this job would have been the easy way out, and in my opinion not conducive to my overall goal.

In the words of Mick Jagger … dance little sister, dance.

Don’t make me walk when I want to fly - Galina Doyla

2011-07-13T22:42:00.000-04:00

I downloaded this cute little app on my Blackberry a while back called Daily Horoscope. At precisely the stroke of midnight each night it updates, providing me with my horoscope for the following day. It was free … I pretty much refuse to pay for apps on either my Blackberry or my iPad, so I figured no harm, no foul. Being a non-believer in just about anything spiritual, it goes without saying that I don’t believe in astrology, but I figured since it was free it would at the very least be entertaining.

I’ve been surprised to see that for the most part the predictions have been eerily accurate. Quite often it foretells of major life changes, reaching for and achieving my dreams, striving to be the best I can be … all that crap. When I read them I get all excited, thinking the stars are aligned and I’ve received a cosmic confirmation that I did the right thing with this whole new career endeavor, then logic kicks in and I remember astrology is futilitarian at best. It’s still kinda cool though ;-)

Perhaps a better way to gauge my future success is to view my progress to date, and so far it’s going wonderfully :) Within one month of being certified, I have 5 Personal Training clients already !! So far my clients vary in age, sex, knowledge base and goals, which is awesome as it will give me a wide variety of experience.

The first client I signed is a 25 year old male; I did an assessment and program for him a few weeks ago and I knew instantly I wanted to work with him. He’s extremely motivated and will do pretty much anything I say (one of the perks of the job !!), so he’s really an ideal client, and I want desperately to help him achieve his goals. I’ve already done several training sessions with him and another woman, and my third client starts tomorrow. I signed the other 2 today and will start with them next week. Most people buy multi-session packages, so I will be working with each of them for at least the rest of the summer.

I have quickly come to realize that I love, love, LOVE my new job !!! In one of my inspirational books the author quoted his father as saying “Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life”, and I do believe I’ve done just that. It never feels like work when I’m at the gym working with these clients, or when I’m sitting at home prepping for our sessions. It really is quite a pleasure :)

On top of all that, I was presented with a potentially great opportunity at my workplace this week. My boss, who is the Fitness Manager, is expecting, and although she’s not due until November, last week she was ordered 2 weeks bed rest by her doc. They approached me and asked me to perform her job for those 2 weeks, so I started this week in the role of Acting Fitness Manager. I had already approached them and inquired about her job as soon as I heard she was pregnant, and submitted my resume at that time.

At the end of 2 weeks she will visit with her doctor and see if she will be returning to work or if she must start her mat leave early, and if that’s the case I can apply again to be her mat leave replacement. This is a full time salaried position, managing the club as well as all the staff, however most importantly I can continue to perform personal training at the same time. This was my first question before I even applied, as my ultimate goal is to train !!

I figured this would be a fantastic opportunity for me right now. For starters it will provide me with a full time salary for at least one full year. But I would also be endorsing my own success by increasing my hours and presence in the club, performing personal training services and interacting with members while acquiring new clientele and building myself a successful business. I hate to throw in a cheesy cliché, but it sounds like a win/win situation to me.

I’m spreading my wings baby :)

For one moment our lives met, our souls touched – Oscar Wilde

2011-06-26T21:50:00.000-04:00

I made a rather auspicious discovery the other day. As regular readers of my blog can attest, I quite often use famous quotes either in the titles or in the body of my posts. What you don't know though, is that before including a quote, I research it online. Sometimes I do this just to be sure that the person I'm crediting for that quote is accurate; and when it's unclear or anonymous I don't include any references. Another reason I research is to be sure I've got it right !! I know this is just a silly old blog read by a select group of my friends and family, but I'm very particular about stuff like that. Must be my Type A personality ;-)

Another thing my faithful blog readers may have noticed is the small stat counter included in the margin of my blog. From this I am able to check if there are visitors to my blog, telling me if I'm wasting my time or not. Now don't panic, I can't tell exactly who is visiting, but the counter tells me things like how many visitors I get each day, the time and length of their visit, and their IP address - which is basically useless to me. In addition to this it tells me what city they (or their ISP rather) reside in, and how they came across my page. For example, if you saw on my Facebook page that I posted a new blog entry and clicked on the link, it would tell me that you wandered in via my Facebook page. This coincidentally is the number one source of traffic to my site.

Occasionally I get visitors from other sources too though ... like if you bookmarked my page and just check it on occasion it would tell me that, and I've also had visitors that clicked on the link on my LinkedIn profile. And every once in a while I can see that someone discovered my site through a Google search. My stat counter tells me what search criteria they entered on Google, and also the ranking my page was given when they hit the search button.

It seems one particular quote is extremely popular, as I get a rather high volume of traffic as people search for it’s meaning. The quote I'm referring to is “Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow” by Norman Vincent Peale, which I used as the title to a blog entry I posted earlier this year.

Now here (finally) is the auspicious part ... depending on how they worded their query, my blog is the number one result on Google !! I figured it out, and it seems if they type "throw your heart over the fence meaning", that's when I'm ranked number one. If they typed a slightly different combination of words I can fall a little further down in ranking, but most often I'm on the first page of Google's results page. If you typed it precisely as worded above and hit Google's "I'm feeling lucky" button, you will forwarded directly to my blog and that particular post.

At first I was stoked by this discovery, not to mention dumbfounded !! Because of this people from all over the world have visited my blog, and I mean this quite literally. I've had visitors from India, Greece, Russia, Dubai, Pakistan, Italy, the Philippines, New Zealand and the UK, to name a few. It seems I wasn't the only one captivated by this phrase. While most of them don't go beyond that particular posting, some of them hang around a bit and check the archives, reading some additional posts. Cool :)

But while I say I was stoked at first, I also found myself somewhat distraught at this realization. I mean, how many times has someone asked you something, and your answer to them was “Google it”? There are people in the world looking for answers to their questions about something they found meaningful, and they're getting directed to my blog for the answer ?!?! I'm sure this is a far reaching and highly inaccurate conclusion, however the thought of it is still somewhat scary. Hopefully they realize quickly that's it's just a silly little blog by some nobody and continue on with their search ;-) If not, I hope they find my definition somewhat useful. For those who don't remember, or are too lazy to go back and check, my search at the time provided me with the following meaning for that quote: "complete success is attained when you find personal fulfillment in what you do, instead of just going through motions to receive a pay-check. It comes down to making a life versus making a living".

That quote and that definition could have been the turning point in my career transition, and today I feel I have found that success, therefore I have no qualms if someone out there in the world relies on this interpretation.

Let your soul be your pilot :)

Courage is being scared to death ... and saddling up anyway - John Wayne

2011-06-21T23:12:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I took someone's blood pressure the other day. And I'm not just talking about when you screw around in the doctor’s office waiting in that little room for the doc to arrive. I got a quickie tutorial and practiced on myself a dozen or so times (which BTW is not an easy task), and then I had my first appointment with a real live client. I was hoping they wouldn't feel my hands shake as I wrapped the Velcro arm band around their bicep, cuz I was scared-to-freaking death. My work doesn't have any of the fancy new gizmos out there to check BP; we have to do it the old fashioned way. Wrap the arm band just above their elbow, find their pulse on the upper inside of their arm and hold a stethoscope to it, then pump to inflate the cuff. This is when the arm band starts to squeeze tightly over your arm, something all of us have experienced many times before. Then you slowly and carefully release the pressure ... again this is quite tricky as you must hold the pump and turn the dial with one hand, as the other is on the stethoscope. As it slowly deflates you must carefully listen for the heartbeat, which is much softer than I imagined, while reading and remembering the numbers that appear on the gauge.

This may not seem like a monumental event to some people, but I'm kinda blown away that I'm doing this. Little 'ol me !! A lifetime accountant taking someone's blood pressure. Well I guess in some ways it still is number crunching isn't it?

This is the first step in our assessment process at work, and if their blood pressure is high I can't really go further as there are some physical tests that follow. However if all goes well I can finish the assessment. Next I take their resting heart rate, and as I've done it on myself a million or so times before, this part is easy. I then take a few other measurements; height, weight, and waist & hip circumference. This is where I actually have an advantage over the other trainers, as it's time to pull out my trusty calculator and do some quick calculations. Using their height and weight I can quickly calculate Body Mass Index (BMI) and with the others a Waist-to-Hip Ratio (WHR). The results give the client a quick overview of their current body composition and their risk for certain health conditions.

After a brief medical history, I perform a few quick physical tests, which considering most are just joining the gym, they just LOVE this part ;-) Push-ups, curl ups and a 5 minute treadmill test. Once again these results are compared to some industry standards to assess their current muscular strength & endurance, as well as their current cardiovascular conditioning.

In addition to the fitness assessment, the club offers a one-time program design for all new members, and assessments and programs can also be done for free annually upon renewal. I've done a few of these already, and all I can think of is that I can't believe I'm getting paid for this. Remember a while back when I talked about my obsession, and how every Sunday I sit at home and design my workouts for the upcoming week? This is basically what I'm doing, only for other people with vastly different goals. We set up a separate appointment, and in the interim I design their workouts for both cardio and weight training, based on discussions I had with them regarding their goals, experience, and any contraindications that might exist.

At that follow up appointment I walk them through the entire program, showing them how to execute the exercises properly and determining how much weight they should lift. In essence it is training, except it's a one-time deal and just the one, pre-set program. And when I'm doing this, I'm in my fucking glory !! I'm enjoying what I'm doing so much that it doesn't even feel like work :) I hate to say this out-loud, but if I didn't have to work for a living, I'd be happy to provide this service for free. Being able to help someone improve their health and well-being and potentially improving their life in some way is an incredible rush.

I figured out I don't need to register a business to do this; I can just operate under my own name, which is what I've chosen to do … for now at least. I do however need to get liability insurance in place, and I've started to look around and get some quotes. Once that is in place I can start doing PT outside of the gym, but I can start at my new workplace as soon as I find myself some clients !! While I’m super excited that this is now reality and I’m doing (or will be doing) what I set out to do, in many ways I’m also terrified. These people will be relying on me to help transform their lives in some way and to help them reach their own personal goals. Not only is that a lot of pressure, but their success is imperative for my own.

Giddy up :)

"Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever" - Lance Armstrong

2011-06-09T22:16:00.000-04:00

I have 2 good news stories to share today:

1) I passed my exam and am now officially a certified Personal Trainer !! My official designation is C.F.T. - Certified Fitness Trainer. Each of the educators that offer personal training certification programs has different titles, but they all basically mean the same thing. The exam was tougher than I thought, which is definitely a good thing. My thoughts on anyone attempting to cheat turned out to be erroneous ... it would have been extremely difficult if not impossible to fake your way through that thing.

I am certified with the International Sports Sciences Association (ISSA), and the buzz in fitness circles is this is one of the tougher and more respected designations. Of course I knew that going in, and this was one of the main reasons I chose to go with them. It's also American, which means my certification is valid if I ever chose to move to the U.S. Most of the Canadian ones are not transferrable in the States.

2) I got a job :) It’s at a very prestigious tennis/squash/fitness club, with 4 locations in Toronto. And I mean prestigious ... the first year annual membership is over $1300, and the basic personal training rate is $70 an hour. Needless to say I would not be a member there myself at those prices, but one of the perks of being employed there is I can use the facilities for free, not to mention discounts at the pro shop, bistro and spa :)

Initially I will start as a Fitness Consultant working the gym floor, helping members with inquiries and advising them with regards to equipment use and proper form. I will also be doing fitness assessments and designing programs for new and renewing members, and leading a circuit training program for newly signed clientele. There is no pressure to sell; I can work as a Fitness Consultant forever and ever if I so desire ... however we all know this is not the plan. I can start training anytime I like. I can find my own clients, and doing assessments and programs is a great way to do this. When the sales staff get members inquiring about training they pass them along to the trainers, so some of my business will come from that as well.

They also have no problem with me doing training outside of their place of business, as long as they are not a member of their club. This means I can go ahead as planned and try and get business in my condo, or anywhere else for that matter. Before I attempt that I still have to get a few things in order, such as liability insurance, a business registration etc., and perhaps a few small pieces of equipment to perform my own fitness assessments. It may take me a few weeks to get all this in order, although I'm anxious as hell to get started.

On top of all that, I'm feeling fantastic these days !! My running program is going great; I'm in week 3 and have not missed any runs, and even managed to get out on those few sweltering hot days. I've lost the excess weight I was struggling so hard with earlier and I'm very pleased with that, and of course just in time to start training. Gotta show my clients that I practice what I preach right ??

I get my last piece of furniture (a sofa bed) delivered to my condo on Friday, and that means I will finally be fully settled there too. And I am loving condo life !! I sit out on my balcony more than I ever sat on the back patio of my house Rather than staring at a fence and endless rows of other houses, I have a great view with so much see it's truly awesome. I bought a great high balcony patio set, and I even planted a small garden out there, something I never did in my house.

I can't believe how much my life has turned around in a little less than a year. I have made a complete 180 with my life, and I must say it's all for the better. Just prior to getting fired I never would have guessed I'd be where I am today and doing what I'm doing. And truth be told I had some doubt as to whether or not I made the right decisions when I committed to this career change, or whether or not I could actually make it work. But now I know for certain I did the right thing ... I'm living the dream baby !! When it comes to work I'm still at the beginning stages, but I can now see that elusive light at the end of the tunnel.

Next stop ... nutrition !! Oh yes, I forgot to mention; my new workplace also has a nutrition counseling program, so as soon as I earn that certification I can start doing that as well.

Life's good my friends :)

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride

2011-05-29T20:48:00.000-04:00

I finally finished my Personal Training textbook :) Why is it that the first and last chapters or so of textbooks are always the most painful? I mean that last chapter was long and boring and filled with all kinds of crap you just know you will never EVER use in your career. I don't mind it so much at the beginning ... I'm definitely a "get it over with quickly" type of person. Put it up front and then dive into the good stuff. And the majority of it was great stuff !! You know you're walking down the right path when the material you’re studying is fascinating to you and you're pretty sure you'd read it either way, just for fun.

I gotta say though, I sure did learn a heck of a lot. Well, I guess that is kind of the point isn't it ?? So now all that's left is the final exam. I will take a week or so to review the material, since it's been some time since I read the early chapters, and then perhaps take a shot at the practice exam before I attempt the real deal.

The exam itself is done online at my leisure, which is awesome, and it’s open book and un-timed. When I tell people this they find it very odd, and I suppose those feelings are justified. I've even had people ask me why I don't just go ahead and write it ... if there's no time limit and I can have the text right there in front of me (and the magic of Google), I could have in all likelihood written and passed the exam almost immediately after signing up for the course. Well call me crazy, but I actually WANT to learn the material. The thought of putting a person's health and well-being in my hands without being fully trained and qualified scares the shit out of me. I'm sure there are people out there that go through life that way, but I ain't one of them. Perhaps my past careers as Accountant and Real Estate Agent taught me a thing or two about ethics.

Naturally the course itself does have deterrents to this type of behaviour. There are 33 chapters in total, and there is an online quiz you must complete for each one. They are graded instantly and provide immediate feedback, and although the tests do not count towards your final grade, you must complete them before you are granted access to the exam. There are 2 sections on the final, the first consisting of multiple choice and true and false questions. The second section includes illustrated multiple-choice and matching questions, 2 Case Studies and 6 long essay questions.

Maybe writing the exam early isn’t as easy as it sounds. Even with the book and no time limit, long essay questions and case studies would take forever. It’s been years since I’ve written an exam, so to say I’m nervous is an understatement. Plus letting everyone know in my blog adds a wee bit of pressure ;)

I get the results of my exam within a few days after writing, then I suppose it’s time to find a job and start training !! Ideally I’d like a mix of doing some training at a gym and some on my own, right here in my condo if I can manage. From what I’ve heard getting clients is actually easier than you might think - fingers crossed :)

In other news … I started a running program last week, in an effort to get me motivated to get out there and exercise more. I have no intention of running a marathon, or even a 10K, though I do run this far on a regular basis now. No offense to all the runners out there, but I don’t want what I like to refer to as a “runner’s body”. When I see marathon runners I see very thin people. And this may sound odd coming from a soon-to-be Personal Trainer, but I like my curves !! I really do think there is such a thing as too skinny, and the typical marathon runner, in my opinion, is too skinny. I give them total props for all the hard work it must take to train for these events, but it just doesn’t interest me in the least.

The program I signed up for is with Nike+ online. I have this gadget that plugs into my iPod with a receiver that goes directly into my running shoes, and it monitors how far I’ve run, calories burned etc. I then download my runs right onto the Nike site, where there are competitions, training programs, and all others sorts of cool stuff I can access online. I chose a 12 week, 10K training program. It schedules between 3 and 4 runs per week, starting with 11 miles per week and working up to 24 miles in a week, including running hills, intervals and sprints. Yes, I meant miles there, even though it’s a 10K training program. Don’t ask. Should be fun in the July and August Toronto heat :-0

Wish me luck :)

The fastest way to succeed is to double your failure rate - Thomas J. Watson Sr.

2011-05-04T00:36:00.000-04:00

I had this big blog entry prepared the night before last about failure, as I’ve faced a few of them in the past few weeks, in particular with regards to the two new goals I blogged about a little over 2 weeks ago.

For starters, I have not reached my weight loss goal of 6 ½ pounds :( Granted my deadline was this coming Friday, but considering this past Friday I was right back up to where I started, I think my chances are slim to none … pun intended !! My second goal was to have written my exam by May 1st, and that didn’t happen either, although I’m not quite as upset about missing that one as my progress has been steady, and I’m very very close to achieving that one :)

So my initial blog posting was me droning on and on, trying to figure out what went wrong and well, basically whining about my failures and over-analyzing things to death. I deleted the whole thing and decided – fuck it. Get over it, get back on track, and get ‘er done.

That being said, since I have nothing new to report, I thought I’d throw out some completely random thoughts that have nothing in particular to do with my career change, or anything really significant at all for that matter. Just things I’ve noticed lately that have caught my attention for some reason or another and I felt compelled to get out there.

My little disclaimer is this: the following statements are the opinion of me, the writer of this blog. If you don’t agree with said opinions or feel offended in any way, get your own blog :P

Much Ado About Nothing:

Jennifer Lopez is the most beautiful person in the world ?? I wonder what the good people of American Idol paid People magazine for that little bit of advertising.
Thank GOD the Royal Wedding is over. Yes I watched it … I PVR’d it and magically converted 6 hours of programming into one – ½ hour of viewing time and ½ hour of fast forwarding. It was nice and they seem like a cute couple and all, but good lord the media coverage was out of this world. Now we should only have to endure another few months of follow up coverage and reruns of the wedding footage before things may actually start to wind down.
Twitter is the most useless waste of time and space ever known to man.
And speaking of that … what is this new phenomenon where people have to use the @ symbol when addressing someone on Twitter or Facebook, or commenting pretty much anywhere online? Is it not clear enough to say “Hey Joe, I agree with what you said” that you have to say “@ Joe” ??? How stupid are these cyber-dweebs?
I may have mentioned this before, but I hate politics and I hate to talk politics. Like religion, it seems to cause nothing but trouble. However having just come out of an election, I do have one thing to say. Why do people always ask who you voted for? I think that’s kinda personal. So for anyone who wants to know who I voted for … none of your fucking business, that’s who.
Shit, two things … another reason I hate politics is the t.v. ads the politicians put out there. How about telling me what you can do for me rather than wasting OUR tax money to tell me what the other guy can’t do.
Charlie Sheen … my goodness. So much to say, so little time. I love Two and A Half Men, one of the few television shows I actually take the time to watch. But for all those people who attended that stupid tour of his and walked out complaining they wanted their money back, I have one thing to say … a fool and his money are soon parted.
Will someone please, please, PLEASE get Frank D’Angelo off of my television for good ?? Perhaps only diehard hockey fans will understand my pain, as I’m not sure if his ads appear anywhere else, but I’ve never seen a man more in love with himself.
And speaking of hockey, Americans truly do not understand the concept of the Calgary Flames Sea of Red, or the White Out that was immortalized by the now defunct (but perhaps soon to be revived ??) Winnipeg Jets back in the day. These fans wore actually jerseys to the game; nearly every single fan in their jammed packed arenas donned the team colours to cheer on their team in the playoffs, when they were lucky enough to get there. Some of the American teams have tried in vain to copy this tradition; however the arena hands out grotesque ad plastered, cheaply made t-shirts to each fan, trying to emulate team spirit. As far as I’m concerned this is a lame attempt in comparison to the real fans, who came to the rink in jerseys that they actually purchased, like only a true fan of the sport would do.

I hear it’s rumoured that Arnold Schwarzenegger was said to be considering reprising his role as the unstoppable cyborg of the Terminator franchise. Guess he wasn’t kidding when he said … I’ll be back.

Ditto Arnie :)

You can't steal second base if you don't take your foot off of first

2011-04-21T22:53:00.001-04:00

On one of my many sleepless nights last week, rather than toss and turn and stare mindlessly into the dark abyss of my bedroom, I decided to try and be a bit more productive and opened up my iPad. Before long I found myself jumping onto my own blog and going back to Day 1 and re-reading all my past entries. Truth be told it took me 2 nights to get through all of them ... I wasn't kidding when I said I like to talk a lot !!

I was actually quite surprised as I read through some of the earlier posts. For starters, I'm a little blown away at how far I've come. I suppose when you're living it, you don't quite realize the progress you've made. But as I looked back, when I started writing it just 8 short months ago, my world was completely different than it is today.

I was lost :( I had no direction and my life was in turmoil. I was stressed to the max and scared to death at my future prospects, or lack thereof. And even though I titled my blog "Changing My Career", I wasn't really sure where I was headed.

Now however, things look starkly different in my little world.

• I've sold my house and moved to a different city, and to a condo nonetheless !!

• I've rid myself of debt, and I gotta say - god bless being debt free :)

• I'm very close to completing my first course and becoming officially certified as a Personal Trainer

• And most important of all, I finally have direction in my life

I'm confident and certain of my future, and extremely pleased with the choices I've made. I will never again don that icky green accounting visor. It was a pretty pukey colour anyway.

If I must say so myself ... you've come a long way baby ;)

Another revelation discovered as I perused my own blogosphere was the change in my mood and my attitude, as well as my overall outlook on life. Of course ridding myself of stress was a huge contributing factor, but I honestly believe making a conscious and concerted effort to bring happiness into my life is the real secret to my success. I rid myself of stress because I decided to ... and I made the necessary changes in my life to ensure it. Some were forced upon me (like getting fired), but the rest were my decision. Some were major and some were minor, but all of them helped build the stepping stones to lift me to where I am today.

Surprisingly since going through my own personal diary-to-the-world, sleep has come much easier lately too.

Life's good :) It's not perfect, but I challenge the person who claims their life to be perfect. Sure I have my moments; why just a week or so ago I blogged about the return of my funk. But if you recall I referred to it as more of a restlessness. I think I'm just eager to continue along this wonderful ride I've been on ... patience is definitely not one of my virtues. I think I've finally learned to appreciate this roller coaster and enjoy it as I do at the amusement park. It's scary as hell but at the same time it's exhilarating.

And as much as I hate to admit it, all those self-help books I read really did help ... myself :s Don't get me wrong, I don't see myself attending an Anthony Robbins seminar anytime in the near future, or ever for that matter. I just feel that they helped me realize that no one is responsible for my own success and my own happiness except me. And a HUGE contributor to happiness and success is your attitude towards it. It wasn't easy and was (is) one helluva bumpy ride, but by george I think I've got it.

I leave you with yet another inspirational quote I came upon just last night in my Personal Trainer text, by one of the more popular past U.S. Presidents, Calvin Coolidge:

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."

Go Cal :)

A year from now you may wish you had started today - Karen Lamb

2011-04-16T00:47:00.000-04:00

I made my newest list the other day … short and sweet, just like me :)

There are only 2 goals on it, however as directed I made them specific, realistic yet challenging, and I wrote them down. I don't know why I do so much better when I commit to goals in writing, but whatever works right? And it seems to have worked ... so far I've accomplished all the to-do's that detail my goals every day this week, and with promising results.

Goal number one is to lose 6 1/2 pounds by May 6th ... it seems my estimate of 'about 5 pounds' was a little lean - no pun intended. Since I started on Friday the 8th, that's exactly 4 weeks to reach my goal, or a little over 1 1/2 pounds per week. This is actually pretty aggressive for me since it's those infamous last few pounds, but I know I can do it once I set my mind to it. One of the perks of having become a regular exerciser is that my metabolism has definitely skyrocketed. Anyone who's every gone out to eat and/or drink with me can attest to that ... I can out eat just about everyone I know, and I'm not that big a girl ;)

My detailed plan of attack to reach goal #1 is quite simple; I just need to get back on track with my diet and exercise !! 5 days a week of weight training, 6 days a week of cardio, and I've gone back to counting calories as this seems to bring me success. I didn't get off to a great start though :( I went out with one friend Friday night for Indian food and a few drinks, then out again with another friend Saturday night for dinner and MANY drinks. I finally took advantage of the subway being just steps away from my new home and we took the tube downtown, visiting several bars throughout the evening. By Monday morning my 6 1/2 pounds grew to an appalling 9 pounds, and seeing that number was enough to drive me into immediate action. I did not adjust my goal based on this new number, as I knew from experience that it wasn't real weight gain but rather bloating and dehydration.

And I was right !! After just 4 days of following the details of my plan, this morning I was down 3 pounds from my starting point and a whopping 5 1/2 pounds down from Monday's weigh-in debacle. Talk about motivation :)

Goal number two details my plan of attack regarding my studies. As indicated previously I am now just trying to complete the Personal Trainer course and have put the Nutrition course on hold until after I get my PT certification. Studying has actually been going well lately; I've managed to study for an hour or two a day on most days of the week. I added this as a goal however because it seems I've either spent my time getting in shape OR studying. Whenever I seem to succeed with one the other takes a back seat. I guess that explains my recent weight gain. So I don't want my efforts towards goal number one to take away from my efforts for goal number two.

Goal # 2's plan is simple, but again fairly aggressive. I need to study a minimum of 1-2 hours EVERY day - the weekends I seem to get lazy and never open the books. And I set a deadline to write my exam by May 1st ... yikes !! That's just over 2 weeks away. It's definitely challenging so I'll have to work hard to get 'er done.

And just to make things fun, the playoffs are upon us ... and anyone who knows me well enough knows I'm referring to the NHL. I'm typically glued to the television for two months straight this time of year, regardless of which teams advance - although my Wings are looking good this year, as usual :) I've been known to stay up till the wee hours of the morning, drinks in hand watching triple overtime, then crawling in to work the next morning on just a couple hours sleep and a mean hangover.

I think the reasons for my dismissal are suddenly becoming clearer ;)

I will continue to watch my hockey of course; it is after all the greatest sport in the world. I just need to watch it soberly (damn !!) and still make time for exercise and schooling.

Fingers crossed !!! :)

Life has no limitations, except the ones you make - Les Brown

2011-04-06T23:05:00.000-04:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about success lately. Coincidentally someone asked me the other day for my definition of success. I didn’t even hesitate before I blurted out my answer. Success is different for everyone. For one person it might be about money; their security comes from having a big bank roll and the prestige that comes along with it. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking that. If that’s how you define success and that’s what drives you in life, more power to you.

I think it’s pretty obvious by now that’s not my definition of success. My answer to my friend’s question was that to me success means happiness. We’ve all heard the old adage that money can’t buy happiness, and while I still am a regular lottery player and I actually dream of winning the big one, I now do believe this saying to be true … I didn't always. And while money certainly helps, I still can’t ever imagine that being my driving force in life.

I did hear a cute saying the other day though ... whoever said money can't buy happiness, doesn't know where to shop ;)

However the reality is I must work for a living. So if I can get up every morning and go to a job that I love, leave each day with a sense of accomplishment, while at the same time making a decent living so I can enjoy life, then I consider myself a successful person.

I guess the reason I've been pondering success lately is because suddenly I find myself in that oh-so-familiar funk again. I can't quite pinpoint my mood, but the best way to describe it is restlessness. In the past several weeks I'm lucky if I've managed 3 hours of sleep a night, sometimes less. It's really starting to piss me off. I'm lying on the couch barely able to keep my eyes open some nights, but the minute I go to bed and lay my head on my pillow, I'm wide awake again. I've taken all the steps the so-called experts say to help induce sleep - no tv or reading in the bedroom, no caffeine in the evenings; I even got some curtains and have blocked out my glorious view to darken my room at night. Nothing seems to work.

The only difference now is my sleepless nights are not stress induced. Previously I would stay awake in fear, worrying about money and my future, but those worries don't exist in my life anymore. I rid myself of my money woes, and I'm very confident in my future :) My mind is definitely racing, but it's more happy, fun thoughts, fantasies even. Don't worry, I won’t go into details … it's not that type of blog !! The point is I have a very hard time shutting my brain off long enough to get some sleep.

One thing I know for sure, and perhaps this is a clue to my disquietude, is that I have not been able to get back into a routine of regular exercise and healthy eating. I put on a few pounds over the holidays, but rather than using the holidays as an excuse, I used the hustle and bustle of my move as reasons for my slacking off. I suppose if I'd been working full time AND performing the multitude of tasks required to relocate, this might have been a valid excuse. But we all know that ain't the case. And even if it were, I've been fully settled into my new home for some time now, so my old excuses no longer fly.

Normally this wouldn't be that big a deal, it's not like I put all my weight back on and sit around the house Peggy-Bundy-style eating Bonbons all day. Right now I feel I'm about 5 pounds over weight, and I'm not feeling as toned and fit as I'd like to be. I still eat pretty well most of the time, although I've been indulging a bit more than I should lately. And I've still been going to the gym, just not regularly enough. I'm halfway there, and this lifestyle has proven to be good for maintaining my current weight and shape. But maintenance is not my current goal.

I got another clue as to why this may be bothering me so much while studying today. I'm on the section of the text that teaches Program Development, and part of the material discusses keeping clients motivated and developing client goals. When the author discussed motivation, he mentioned how a trainer’s own physical condition is a billboard for their own level of expertise. How can I earn a clients' trust of my knowledge and expertise when I can't even practice what I preach ??? I certainly would never hire an unfit Personal Trainer, and I shouldn't expect my future clients to either. The author quoted Ben Franklin as saying "the best sermon is a good example". Amen to that !!

So perhaps as I near completion of my studies and prep myself to officially start my new career, the slow but steady return of my flabby ass and love handles are triggering an impending fear that's keeping me awake nights.

Further along in my text the author details goal setting with clients and lists specific criteria that all goals must encompass. Among them are that goals must be written down, they must be difficult but realistic, and they must have a time line.

Shit, you know what this means don't you ?? Time for yet another one of Tina's famous lists. Oh joy.

Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore

2011-03-18T00:51:00.000-04:00

I'm adjusting quite nicely to condo life so far :)

I'm pretty much fully settled in now, all that's left to buy are window coverings. But there really isn't a huge hurry for that as no one can see in my window. As mentioned I have a great view but everything in it is people-less.

As with anything in life, there are pluses and minuses to condo vs. house living, but so far the pros far outweigh the cons.

The obvious plus is no more snow shovelling or gardening !! I know many people that would disagree with my hatred of gardening, but as far as I'm concerned my life is complete if I never seen a lawnmower, weed wacker or garden spade ever again. Blech.

I mentioned the view already and I'm enjoying that thoroughly, and can't wait for the summertime so I can sit out on my balcony and enjoy it more ... even though I do have a slight fear of heights. I've been out there a few times already and the fear kicks in as I approach the railing, so we'll see how that goes, but I should be fine. Part of the view is Downsview Park and there are some concerts lined up there this summer. I'm anxious to find out if I'll be able to see the stage or hear the music. I should add a pair of binoculars to my wish list.

I've even placed my bed as close to the window as possible, and I sleep on the window side so I see the brilliant lights of the city and the picturesque Toronto skyline as I lay in bed and when I wake up ... until the summer smog sets in of course ;)

On my first day there I discovered another perk to my view ... directly below my balcony and quite literally the closest thing I can see is a giant obstacle course. My landlord tells me it's where the army dudes train - the park is a former Canadian Forces Base, but there are still some active army buildings on site. Oddly my first thought was not excitement over seeing fit unformed men sweating it out while displaying their toned physiques, but rather "how can I get in there and try it out myself?". I need to get my priorities straight.

Another huge perk is the condo gym. It's really a pretty decent gym, and having it just downstairs has proven to be a huge benefit. My workouts tend to be an hour and a half long, but when I had to drive to and from the gym beforehand, depending on the time or the weather, sometimes that was enough of a deterrent to skip my workouts knowing I'd need to sacrifice 2 or more hours of my time. Now it's just a quick elevator ride to and from the gym, so in other words, no excuses. I also plan on advertising my services as soon as I'm certified - there's a good base of regular gym goers there and essentially that would mean working from home and working for myself :) There's also a sister condo right next door (and 2 more being built), each with it's own gym.

And I took my first trip to the pool, whirlpool and sauna last night ... definitely another item to add to the plus side of things.

A last plus I never really considered was garbage and recycling. I'm doing much more recycling than ever, and simply because it's so convenient. My building is very green, so the garbage disposal on each floor offers systems for garbage, recyclables and organics. You simply push a button for your option and it directs your waste through a chute into the appropriate bins below. Even regular garbage is a breeze; no more collecting garbage out in the garage and then dragging it to the curb on garbage day.

The only minus for me so far is the parking. While I enjoy underground parking from a snow and cold standpoint, and have no concerns whatsoever regarding security, it has proven to be a bit of a nuisance having my car so far away. Lugging groceries across a parking lot and in and out of an elevator isn't the most blessed chore in the world, and if I ever have to "run out to the car", it's a pain to have to take the trip down 11 stories to get to it.

Some people might add the noise factor to their list of minuses, but that doesn't bother me. I can definitely hear the traffic on the road below, and since it's a major roadway sometimes its the sound of big trucks applying their brakes late at night. The airport isn't an issue as it's just some sort of testing facility, so actual flights are limited. Most planes I see simply taxi or sit on the tarmac and never go anywhere. Of course the road noise will get even more dramatic in the warmer weather when I have my windows open, but I'm still certain it won't phase me. I've lived directly in front of railway tracks twice and once backing on to a major roadway, and the noise never bothered me. Perhaps because I have such irregular sleep patterns, who knows. The family down the hall with the baby that howls almost constantly bugs me more than anything ;)

So thats it, so far so good. That's big task # 1 of my career transition to-do list under my belt. Big step # 2 of course is to finish my courses and get my certifications so I can start training and counselling. Quite surprisingly the studying has been moving along nicely even with all the hustle and bustle of the move. I changed plans a bit and decided to complete the Personal Trainer course first and then start on the Nutrition certification, on the advice of a few people in the biz. Getting a PT job (or doing it on my own as indicated above) will be a much easier task, then while doing that I can get the nutrition course added to my resume.

Onwards and upwards :)

If the only ice cream ever made was vanilla, life would be pretty dull

2011-03-07T20:52:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I get the feeling that certain people just don't get what I'm doing here. I mean for the most part everyone has been very supportive of my decisions of late, most notably my family, but there are some people that just cannot comprehend my actions. I still get job offers for Accounting jobs, and from people that know precisely what my intentions are and are regular readers of my blog.

I even think I lost a good friend over this whole career change thingy ... remember the friend who referred me to an Accounting Manager job at her workplace but then I passed on the interview? That friend. After I cancelled the interview (which I did cancel btw, it's not like I was a no-show or anything), I emailed my friend to apologize for cancelling and to thank her for giving me the opportunity. I have not heard from her since; she never even replied to my email. This same friend questioned my decision as we lunched together, just a week prior to passing me the job lead. She could not understand why I would give up a career in which I had so many years of experience and made good money to start at the bottom and work my way up.

Hello ??? How many times must I state it ... I'M NOT DOING THIS FOR THE MONEY. If money was my only motivating factor I would have sucked it up months ago and found yet another dull, lacklustre, mind-numbing accounting job while I prayed for the sweet release of death.

And it's not just her; I'm just using this one (ex) friend as an example. I've talked with countless others whose eyes open wide and jaws drop when I tell them I'm leaving the glamorous life of Accounting to be a Personal Trainer and Nutritionist. And many of them are people that are in the fitness industry. Some are so bold to come right out and ask the same question my friend did over lunch that day, and it all boils down to the almighty dollar.

Every step I've taken thus far to fulfill this career transition was done by choice, including the massive step of selling my home and giving up home ownership to rent. I did it because I wanted to, not because I had to ... it was a sacrifice I made in order to pursue my dreams. And I honestly don't feel it's really a sacrifice. In just one short week in my new condo I'm happier than a pig in shit, something I never felt in my former residence.

On a side note here, I surprised myself a little on my official last day in Brampton by actually getting a tad emotional. After the last few items were packed in my car and I knew I wouldn't be returning, I went across the street to say farewell to a few neighbours that I had been friends with during my 11+ years there, and I found myself getting choked up as I hugged each family member goodbye. When I got home I sent a Facebook message to a few of the teenage girls on the street to bid them adieu, and they expressed their sadness at my departure and asked me to return to visit often. I pretty much watched these girls grow up and they hung out at my house often, and I will miss them dearly. However just like when I left my job after the same number of years, I know that my anguish was for the people and not the place. Them I will miss; the house, the street, and the city haven't even earned a second thought.

But back to these vanilla-only people in my life ... while I get that you may not understand or agree with my decisions and the choices I am making, there are two things I don't get:

1) Do you have to understand my actions or agree with what I'm doing to support me ??
2) Why do you care ?????

If everyone in the world had the same beliefs, values and goals, what incredibly boring and limitless lives we would lead. Everyone wants different things in life, and that's actually a good thing. I faced the same scrutiny when I expressed my decision to be childless. To this day I have people question this decision, while others say they understand and reassure me its okay to be "selfish" in that regard. It's not selfish you morons, it's a choice - one of the fascinating luxuries we have in life.

While this blog may seem somewhat negative, it's actually not. Lucky for me I honestly don't care what people think ... it's my life and I'll do whatever I please :p

Bring on the chocolate :)

The light at the end of the tunnel isn't always an oncoming train

2011-02-23T20:35:00.001-05:00

I'm sitting here writing this from the living room of my new condominium :) I met the owner last Monday and got all my keys and chatted with him for a bit ... very nice guy. This is a first for both of us; him being a landlord and me being a tenant. I promised him that I would be a dream tenant, and I meant it. I don't understand why people rent homes and then proceed to ruin them. You still have to live there don't you ?? As far as I'm concerned it's still my home and I will treat it that way, with the utmost respect.

I moved a few small things prior to the weekend, but spent the remainder of last week packing, packing, and more packing. God I hate moving. You wouldn't know it, considering I've done it 7 times in my life including this one. My ex and I were nomads; we lived in 4 different homes in our 14 years together. Mostly we moved to escape the monotony of life, as we both got bored very easily. I'm surprised we lasted together as long as we did.

Friday was the official moving day, and for the first time in my life I hired a moving company. I have just three words to say about that experience ... worth every penny !! To save time and therefore money as they charge by the hour, I packed most of the boxes myself ahead of time. I left behind only what was going out in the trash or going to charity. However when moving day came it was pure delight to have two men lift and struggle and grunt and groan as they maneuvered large pieces of furniture; down curved stairways, through tight doorways and up a tightly packed elevator, all while being sure not to scratch or dent any of the freshly painted walls. And that they did. I've heard many horror stories of damages done by the pros, but my move went off without a hitch.

However even though I hired them to do all the grunt work, I am so exhausted right now it's not even funny. My days have been completely consumed with the move, and the past week saw sacrifices in both gym time and diet, which consisted of zero workouts and a multitude of take out food and beer. Poor me ;) I find myself nodding off each night around 10 pm, which is highly unusual for me, and I sleep a solid 8-10 hours a night, also not the norm.

It's amazing how much stuff one can accumulate over the years, and I'm about the farthest from being a hoarder as one can get. I never keep anything, and I hate clutter. However going from house to condo, much of my "stuff" had to get left behind. I gave my bedroom set, treadmill and patio set away to family. The movers took my barbecue. And I contacted the people who bought my house and they agreed to take my basement furniture, lawn mower, and a few other odds and ends off my hands; gratis of course. Today I went back and packed up 7 more boxes, 2 full garbage bags and a coffee table set to leave for charity to pick up tomorrow.

So between a week devoted almost entirely to packing, and this week devoted to unpacking and cleaning the condo plus everything I packed and moved, exhaustion has finally set in. And unfortunately its not over yet. Remaining in the house is loads and loads of trash. Stuff I decided not to take with me but cannot donate to charity ... even they have their limits. My house closing is Monday, so between now and then I have to return to the house to clear out the junk.

This is actually a clause in the agreement of purchase and sale; that you cannot leave any garbage behind. It's been 12 years since I bought and sold a home, and there were a few new clauses that are typically included in all new agreements that didn't exist back then. This is one, and IMO it's a great one !! When we bought the house prior to this one, the lovely family that moved out left us with a garage packed full of their shit. We had no choice but to load it up and cart it off to the dump over several trips, paying the fee to dispose of their leftover crap.

Another new clause is that the floors must be left in a clean, broom swept condition, and you cannot leave any large holes in the walls. Both minor but pretty smart, common sense additions.

There was one clause though that struck me as especially humorous, but according to my agent appears on every agreement these days. I had to certify in writing that I did not use my home to grow or sell any illegal substances, and to my knowledge neither did any of the previous owners. In others words, my house was not a grow-op. Phew, good thing I didn't decide to take that new career path !!!

So even though I'm feeling extreme happiness these days (clouded by exhaustion of course), I still have 5 more days before I can officially celebrate. My old home will be gone for good and I can finally settle in and start my new life. But until I see the lawyer, sign the goods and have that big fat cheque in hand, nothing is truly set in stone. I am quite literally counting the days.

Heading Back to the T Dot :)))

2011-01-29T01:17:00.003-05:00

I’ve found my new home :) As expected the search itself was a true pain in the butt. Having the freedom to move pretty much anywhere I want with no limitations actually made it a lot harder than usual. There are so many choices out there !!

Ideally I’d love to move somewhere where it’s sunny and warm all the time. If I never see snow again for the rest of my life, I’d be one happy camper. And these sub-zero temperatures can kiss my ass. However the reality is this is not an easy task. Since 9/11, relocating to the U.S. is a lot harder now, and sadly I don’t really have any special skills to get myself a job and/or work visa down there. And I don’t know that I’m brave enough to move abroad. 20 years ago maybe, but unfortunately with age comes cowardice.

So that pretty much leaves Canada, and there’s nowhere I’d rather live in Canada than right here in Toronto. I am counting the days until I get out of Brampton, and even though my new home is a mere 40 km away from my current home, it’s like a completely different world. As I fought my way through traffic on the 401 yesterday to meet the realtor and sign the paperwork, I felt an incredible sense of excitement pulsing through my veins.

I’m not quite in the heart of Toronto, but in my opinion, just close enough. Although I looked at various options, I decided to go the condo route. I’m giving myself one year to test the waters; I’ve never lived in a condo before, so this will be a big lifestyle change for me and will likely take a period of adjustment. However I’m a pretty adaptable person, so I think I’ll be fine. Most people tell me that I’ll love the condo life.

I was never one to spend much time in my own backyard, perhaps because it was always small and boring. Yard work is the bane of my existence; I can think of about a million other things I’d rather do with my time. I mowed the lawn and plucked the weeds, but that was the extent of my gardening chores, so there’s nothing to miss there. And although I don’t mind shoveling snow, I can’t say I ever skipped happily outdoors excited about the task that lay ahead. So I’m not missing out in that regard either. I suspect I will love it during the winter months, but the summertime may pose some problems.

I do love being outdoors, and when it’s sunny and warm, I despise being inside. I have heard from some current and former condo owners that this is one drawback to condo life. Of course you can still go outside, but it can be a nuisance at times. We shall see I guess … is slipping on some shoes and taking an elevator down for a walk all that much harder than taking a few steps down my front porch? Time will tell.

The condo itself is gorgeous. It’s small of course, but I was actually surprised that it didn’t seem as small and claustrophobic as I expected. Being the eternal numbers person, with each unit I considered I plugged the measurements into a spreadsheet and calculated the square footage, and also compared room to room dimensions. The total square footage of the condo is a little over 100 square feet smaller than the equivalent living space I use right now in my home. I’m missing out on the rooms in my house that are empty or never used. As far as I’m concerned, less stuff to clean.

It’s never been lived in, so it’s shiny and new and sparkling clean, right up my alley !! It’s fully upgraded … 4 brand new stainless steel appliances, ensuite laundry, hardwood and ceramic floors, upgraded fixtures, a walk in closet in the bedroom, and a small den that will become my new computer room.

However the best part is the balcony and the view. All the other places I saw had teeny tiny balconies, with some of them in the oddest locations … entries only through the bedroom ?!?! My new home boasts a balcony that run along the entire width of the unit, expanding across the living room and bedroom. The entry is through the living room via sliding glass doors, adjacent to floor to ceiling windows filling the remainder of the back wall. With its southern exposure that means I’ll get plenty of that sunshine I love so dearly. The 10th floor landscape consists of a clear and unobstructed view of the Toronto skyline and the CN Tower, the newly revitalized 500+ acre Downsview Park (site of the infamous Molson Canadian Rocks for Toronto concert, aka SARS Concert in 2003), and the prismatic lighted runway of the Toronto/Downsview Airport.

Sweet !!!

Another added benefit is that’s it’s directly across from Downsview Station, the last stop of the Yonge-University-Spadina subway line that leads directly to downtown Toronto. I can walk across the street, jump on the subway and be in the heart of T.O. in about 10-15 minutes without the concern of parking, traffic or watching how much I have to drink ;-) I see lots of trips to the city in my future. And the building has some great amenities; the gym is one of the best I’ve seen, an indoor pool, sauna and whirlpool … oh ya, and an indoor golf simulator free to all residents. I swear that didn’t influence my decision, but what a great perk.

I was born and raised in Toronto, and unlike most of my siblings that live in small towns north of here, I’m a city girl at heart. I feel like I’m finally coming home :)

Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow

2011-01-13T22:22:00.000-05:00

Since starting my career transition and creating this blog, I’ve been collecting inspirational quotes, such as the one above, to help keep my spirits up. I’ve found many in the books I’ve read or online, and have a list of them saved that I refer to now and again, and as you may have noticed I use them often in my blog.

I found this particular one by Norman Vincent Peale some time ago; I can’t really recall when or where. I immediately liked it, although I can’t honestly say I fully understood its meaning. It just sort of captivated me, so I added it to my list.

Today I Googled it trying to discover it’s meaning, or at least other people’s interpretation of it. I found an article by a woman named Linda Ellis who, like me, worked in a corporate environment for a good 20 years before deciding to leave it all behind to pursue her passion in life to achieve success. Okay, she left voluntarily, but still, the similarities were freaky !! This is how she deciphers Mr. Peale’s quote:

There is a quote by Norman Vincent Peale which reads: “Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow.” If I had to summarize this journey into one sentence, that would have to be it. Because true success, that is, complete success is attained when you find personal fulfillment in what you do, instead of just going through motions to receive a paycheck. It comes down to making a life versus making a living.

Now I know why I was immediately captivated by that quote. That is exactly what I’m trying to achieve here with my new career path. It's not about the paycheck anymore, and I think I've proven that with the steps I'm taking to achieve my goals, most notably selling my house. I could keep the house if I continued my career in Finance, but it’s certainly not my dream.

I decided this week that even though I’m not finished either of my courses and have no certification yet, I would officially start my job search for opportunities in the fitness industry. I sent out a dozen or so resumes in response to ads for various positions, just to see what’s out there and get my feet wet. I already got 3 calls back, had one interview today and I have one next week :)

The job I interviewed for today was not good, it was mostly a sales position with a very low base and commission driven. I know I have to start at the bottom, but not that far down !! Their expectations were high, and really not completely ethical in my opinion. The job starts with doing fitness assessments on new clients, as well as periodic re-assessments with current clients. While all that stuff sounds good to me and would be a great initiation into the field, this is where the ethics issue comes into play. The hidden agenda of course is to try and sell personal training.

I think I mentioned previous my success … or lack thereof, in the sales arena, so even though they’ve already asked for a second interview on Monday, I’m quite certain I’m going to pass. I know that pretty much any job I end up getting in the fitness industry will involve some sales on my part, but I don’t want it to be exclusive.

But back to my blog title and why that particular quote intrigued me. Even though after realizing today’s interview was a bust, I was sooooo excited to be there. The interview itself actually went really well, and the Manager and I talked at length about our passion for fitness and our desire to help other’s achieve their goals. Like me, she has battled with her weight and fought hard to get healthy, and like me she wants to share that joy with others. I know it sounds totally cheesy but it’s really what I want to do. We talked about how there will be many frustrations along the way as I encounter resistance and discouragement with clients, but when you can actually help someone improve their life and their health and make them truly happy, the rewards can be incredible. I can’t wait :)

I suppose this is a good time to mention that I sold my house !! The home inspection was a success and they waived the condition yesterday ... closing is February 28th. Things are starting to progress rather rapidly now and once again I'm scared shitless. I have no idea where I'm going to live and I have just 45 days to figure that out. I do have options, three of my sisters and my parents have offered to let me stay with them until I get settled, and while 3 of these options are totally cool with me, I'd prefer to get to my final destination sooner rather than later. Moving has got to be one of the biggest pains in the ass I know, so I prefer to do it just once. BTW the three options are staying with my sisters; I think I'd rather live in a box under a highway overpass before moving back in with mom and dad. I love my parents, I just wanna keep it that way ;)

So the next month and a half is going to be crazy busy for me. House hunting, job hunting, packing, studying, and gym time of course. Maybe I'll try and squeeze a life in there while I'm at it, just for fun :O

It’s always darkest before the dawn, but you can always turn on the lights

2011-01-08T10:09:00.000-05:00

So when I last updated my blog, I was going to mention that I had sold my house. I believe I mentioned an offer that I received on Christmas Eve, but I'm not referring to that. That offer met a quick death. They came in at a ridiculous $15,000 below asking, I countered pretty aggressively to show that I was serious, and they never came back. I should have known from the low ball offer they were wasting my time.

However less than a week later my agent called with another offer. Yippie !! We arranged for him to come over the following evening to present it, and in that time span yet another offer came in ... double yippie !!! I was now in a multiple offer situation which is just about the best thing a seller can ask for. The selling agent informs the buying agents that they are now competing, and this usually prompts them to up the ante, and up the ante they did.

One of the offers came in at less than $2,000 under asking. They waived the home inspection condition, leaving the offer conditional only on financing, and as per their agent, they had already been pre-approved by a major bank. Sweet :)

I wisely accepted the offer as is without a sign back. Closing was the end of March which gave me plenty of time to figure out where I might want to live. Considering I haven't even started looking yet, the more time the better. They even asked for just 3 banking days to secure their financing; normally this is 5-10 banking days ... these buyers were confident and motivated.

On banking day 2, I updated my blog and talked about resolutions. I was going to add a blurb at the end mentioning the sale, after all, the purpose of my blog is to verbalize my career change plans and the steps I'm taking to realize my dream. Selling my house - definitely related. New Year's Resolutions? Not so much.

I started to write about it, then quickly hit the delete key. Superstition I guess, perhaps from years of being a hockey fan. Hockey fans can be almost as superstitious as the players themselves. When I'm watching my Wings I have little rituals I follow, you know, just in case. The logic part of my brain tells me I'm an idiot ... will my team actually lose the game because I didn't update my BBM status with a "Go Wings Go" just prior to game time? Are the players sitting in the dressing room shouting 'dammit Tina, hurry up, we can't win without you'. I'm gonna say not likely. However the smaller yet overpowering irrational part of my brain takes over and I follow my rituals just the same, to save the team of course.

So I hit the delete key because I didn't want to jinx it. I figured if I blurted out in my blog about my house sale before it was final, then something bad would happen and my dream offer would die. This thinking flies in the face of everything I have been preaching here and attempting to practice in life. The Law of Attraction tells you that whatever you think you attract, so even if you think you don't want something, you’re thinking about that “don’t want”, and that’s what you’ll get. So if you keep thinking something like "I don't want to get sick", then you're gonna get sick. Instead you should reflect on how good and healthy you feel, and that's what you will get. Like attracts like.

However old habits die hard and I let superstition reign. And guess what happened? The deal died. I won't go into the details, but even though they were pre-approved, they couldn’t get financing.

FFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK !!!!!

I was heartbroken. Everything about this deal was perfect; the price, the closing ... I even met the couple and really liked them. Not that it matters, but I did - I was excited for them. For the next 24 hours I fell hard, back into a state of depression. I felt like I was back to square one again :(

My agent informed me that we'd open my house up to showings again, lovely. Action started quickly and the very next day the office called with 2 showings booked. Well kudos to my agent, the first call he made after informing me of the bad news was to the other agent; the one who had lost out on the multiple offer bidding war. His clients had not bought and were still interested. That was appointment number one; they wanted to come back for another look.

They looked, they saw, they offered !! Yesterday my agent presented an offer from them. Of course it wasn't as good as the other offer when they had some competition, but it was still pretty damn good. It only went back once and they accepted, so once again I have a confirmed deal, with a condition. This buyer has actually waived financing which is pretty amazing; this is the most common condition to accompany a deal. The second most common condition is a home inspection, and that one remains. They have 5 banking days (which expires next Thursday) to have the home inspection completed, reported and to waive the condition.

Since I let irrational thinking invade my brain the first time by refusing to vocalize the offer and that backfired, I decided to blog about this one. Do the opposite ... it worked for George Costanza; let's hope it works for me :)

And as per The Law of Attraction, I'm sending out positive thoughts to the universe ... on or before January 13, 2011, I will have sold my house !!!

Everything you need is already inside. Just do it. - NIKE, Inc.

2011-01-03T10:57:00.000-05:00

Along with dictionary.com’s Word of the Day that I get delivered to my Blackberry daily, I receive the Word of the Day from urbandictionary.com. Unlike the dictionary.com version that is meant to help expand my vocabulary, the latter one is just for fun. Many of the words or phrases are pretty lame, but every now and again there are some pretty good ones; funny, gross, eerily accurate !! Their tagline defines their verbiage as “A veritable cornucopia of streetwise lingo, posted and defined by its readers”.

One of my all time favourites appeared a few years ago, a day or two after New Year’s Eve …

Resolutionary

Definition: People who join a gym after the New Year, only to quit going within 3 months.

Example: I couldn't find a free treadmill; the place was crawling with resolutionaries.

Ahhhh yes, I expect to find all the resolutionaries flocking the gym this week for the next several months. Oh joy !! I’m at least happy that I can adjust my hours now and go when it’s convenient and less busy, rather than fighting my way through the crowds after work like in years past. And of course it’s not only the gyms that hope to profit so greatly from this magical time of the year, but the weight loss centres as well are bombarding our televisions with advertisements promising of helping you find a brand new you now !! Seems to me all they are doing is preying on the desperate and hopeful.

About 10 or so years ago I decided to stop making New Year's resolutions. I found that every time I did, I was ultimately setting myself up for failure. Like the aforementioned resolutionaries, I would dive in head first armed with enthusiasm and determination, only for my efforts to fizzle out and fade away within a very brief period of time ... months, weeks, even days.

I've been trying to figure out why I, like so many others, failed in my attempts at bettering myself at this time of year. Too many goals at once? Improper planning?? Setting the bar too high??? I've been reading so many articles on it this week I feel like my head is gonna fall off. My conclusion is that I don't care. I decided this year I'm going to make some resolutions for the first time in over a decade. I will take a few of the small tidbits of advice I found while researching the "why's" and utilize them, but I'm not going to beat it to death. I've only come up with a few small ones, they are definitely realistic and doable, and where possible I'm going to give myself deadlines as well. I wouldn't be me if I didn't come up with a detailed plan of attack now would I? Here goes nuthin:

• Resolution # 1 - Okay fine, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and make my first resolution to be weight loss. This is an easy one, since the steps required to get there are already part of my routine, I just slipped a little over the holidays :) Remember my blog about my Halloween weekend food bender? Well let's just say I had several of those in the past couple of weeks. To get back to the weight I am most comfortable with I need to lose 6 pounds, and I'm giving myself 4 weeks to do it. That is quite lofty for me considering it's those ‘last few pounds’, but I suspect the first few will come off rather quickly once I get back on track.

• Resolution # 2 - STUDY STUDY STUDY. This is the definitely an area that I still struggle with big time. I did very little studying over the holidays, perhaps an hour or two a couple days a week, but at that rate I'll never get these courses done. The school itself gives a deadline, and since I signed up for both courses at once they both fall on the same day, June 19th. That certainly is plenty of time, but I'd like to get them done sooner, for obvious reasons. I hesitate to give this one my own timeline ... so let's just say I'm going to have to study my little ass off.

• Resolution # 3 - I think I might attempt to start dating again. I definitely have no plan of attack for this one, but I'll figure something out. I don't want a boyfriend at that moment, that's for sure; I just wouldn't mind getting out there now and again. After all, a girl's gotta eat ;)

Hmmm, for some strange reason that’s all I can think of right now. Is it possible that my life is so perfect I have nothing else I feel I need to change and improve upon ?? Hardly. I guess just with all the changes I’ve been making in my life recently with this career transition, I’ve already incorporated so many resolutions into my life in the past 6 months. I got a big jump on the New Year this year.

Let’s see how it goes shall we ??? Happy New Year !!

Carpe diem, quam minime credula postero

2010-12-27T10:43:00.000-05:00

I managed to tilt the scales in my favour the past few days, as my mood has actually improved since I last blogged.

As promised I tried my best to remain positive, and it seemed to have worked. In the "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting" book, she provides a 30 day plan to help you think positively, or to change your energy flow as she calls it, since she claims it's not an easy step, and I certainly am living proof of that.

The 30 day method requires you to come up with a flip switch topic; whenever you start to feel down or think negative thoughts, or start to dwell on all of life's worries that weigh so heavily on our hearts and minds and keep us up at night, you immediately and intentionally turn your thoughts to this flip switch topic. The flip switch topic must be something you are grateful for in your life, something about yourself that you appreciate. It can big or small, meaningful or insignificant ... literally anything you feel grateful for or appreciate in your life.

The love of a pet

The roof over your head

Your sense of humour

A good bowel movement

Seriously ... anything. The point is you start to think about this other thing that makes you happy, and you must really feel the joy and happiness about this thing. If that other ugly thought starts to seep back into your brain, you push it out and go back to your flip switch.

You need to have one flip switch topic per day; don't jumble around between multiple flip switches. Pick one each day and stick with it for the entire day. And you must come up with a different flip switch each day for 30 days. Believe me, that part is not easy !! I'm less than half way through my stint and I'm really having a hard time finding things to appreciate; I think one day I was grateful that I have nice hair.

The point of this exercise is to get you in the habit of feeling good all the time and to stop you from dwelling on the bad things. As you know, the concept of the Law of Attraction is that if you think good thoughts good things will happen, and vice versa. So if you continue with this "woe is me" behavior, you will never have good things come to you and you will never realize your dreams. Of course we all know you can't just wake up one morning and say to yourself "enough with the misery, I'm going to think nothing but happy, positive thoughts from this moment forward".

You know what they say - if it were that easy, everyone would be doing it.

It takes hard work and practice, hence the 30 day plan. Even the author herself, who claims the Law of Attraction changed her life for the better in every way possible, admits that she still had to work at it and still had bad days now and again. But she learned to nip those days in the bud quickly and easily ... over time.

So far all the books I've read so far on this topic claim the most important act is for you to practice the act of gratitude. Stop focusing on the negative and be grateful for what you do have, and more good things will come to you.

If you recall I wasn't overly disappointed with the fact I haven't sold my house yet but grateful that I was getting lots of showings. Lots of traffic is definitely a positive. And although I assumed with Christmas just a few days away I wouldn't be getting much activity, I had 3 showings this past week alone - and I got an offer !! :) My agent presented it Christmas Eve, and I signed back a counter offer. Of course with the holiday things are now delayed, but the offer is technically still on the books and I'm awaiting their next move. I also have another showing today.

I'm pleasantly surprised and excited about all the activity, especially this time of year. At the same time though, I'm nervous. Although the thought of getting this next step under my belt is exhilarating, I still have no idea where I'm going to live, so that's a bit scary. This is definitely one of the biggest steps in my plan, so getting it done makes this all very real. Keep your fingers crossed for me :)

Another reason I'm feeling better is because of the season. The fact that I was stoked for Christmas proves to me that what I feel sometimes is just plain old sadness and stress, and that I'm not clinically depressed. The Prozac can wait thank you very much. Yes I can get really down sometimes, and at times that mood can last for a while, but I can just as easily snap out of it, and when I'm busy socializing and doing fun things, I'm as happy as can be. As corny as it sounds, I was excited about the event of the day and getting together with my family, eating and drinking and sharing some laughs. Not a lot of people can say this, but I love our family gatherings. They're big and noisy and crowded, but such good times. My family rocks :)

And even though I gained over 6 pounds this month alone (yes you heard me, six pounds in less than a month), I'm still feeling okay. The last week or so were not good in terms of diet and exercise, but yesterday I did my meal planning, stocked up my fridge again with all the good stuff, and designed my next workouts, which I start today, NOT January 1st. Try as we might it's really hard to stay on track this time of year, not just with all the events and tempting treats, but also because of all the activity and hustle and bustle of the season. As long as I get right back on track I figure I haven't done too much damage. Let's see how long it takes me to lose those 6 pounds ... a helluva lot longer than it took to put on, I can guarantee you that !!