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BLOG MOVED

2011-10-29T00:04:00.004-04:00

THIS BLOG HAD BEEN MOVED!

Please visit www.chantalmcculligh.com

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fashion and beauty videos

vlogs

and so much more

all in one spot!

Close and Nitty Gritty With Calvin James

2011-10-27T22:33:00.000-04:00

That's right ladies and gentlemen! I got the chance to get (extremely) close and personal with the members of Calvin James, Matt, Blake and Coby. As you guys know, I have a good friend, Brandon Frank, who has a production company, Wreckless Crew. He is also the one who produced and directed the music video that I was in. Well, with the upcoming launch of his new website, Brandon Frank is also creating an online show. I won't get into detail, because you guys are just going to have to wait, but Brandon is the host of the show and I am the cohost so you can only imagine how awesome it's going to be, right?

Today I woke up bright and early to drive to London to interview the guys from Calvin James. These guys were hilarious and handled my awkward, curve-ball questions awesomely. Girthy. It was just all a big joke and somehow we ended up talking about wiener. Yup.... wiener. I asked who was the biggest, and immediately put the mic in front of Coby, who is the black man with luscious lips. Oh yeaaaah, I did! I then asked if it's true what they say about black guys. I guess you'll have to wait to find out his answer. It was good times though! They gave me a signed copy of their album and I listened to it the whole way home. My favourite song is "1999" and I love love love love love it! I'm pretty sure I know all of the words now. You guys need to get their album because it's fabaloooosa! I'm seriously so against downloading music for free and I'm probably this way because I have a lot of friends who are musicians and I know how hard they work. So don't be a skeeze and download stuff for free!

Before I go on any further with this post, can we just get a virtual applause for the guys holding me up for so long? We all started to sweat. It was hot in the studio and to be fair... they were holding me up for about 15 minutes. Coby definitely had the awkward job of holding my arm and upper body up - so I gave him credit as I felt his muscles once they let me down. Hey! If it wasn't for those muscles I would have been dropped. Blake's hair made me hot. I couldn't stop touching it. I hope his girlfriend doesn't read this and get mad? Then Matt... well he just had dirty things on the brain today.

After the interview with the guys, Brandon and I headed to do more filming in which we have more blooper footage then anything else. Today was not my day - or his either as we kept fumbling, mumbling and tumbling over our own words. Eventually, we managed to spit out our lines and headed to the photo shoot. Since Brandon is the host, and I am the cohost of the show - it only makes sense that we have pictures together, right?

This was one of the out takes, but my absolute favourite. It's so funny! All the pictures were Brandon as a geeky character, and sexy Chantilliscious. So I grabbed his glasses and we switched characters for a moment. Look at Brandon's sexy pose and my geek face. We're pros - no big deal.

I'll be sure to get you guys all the blooper footage because it really is hilarious - but full of curse words. "Hi, you're here with.... shit"

"This is Chantal from... fuck"

"Today we int-int-int-inttervieew"

Very funny - maybe you had to be there - or just wait for me to release the video!

The promo of the show comes out on Monday, so of course you guys are going to get first dibs on viewing it as I will post it on here, facebook and my twitter. And then the full episode gets released on Friday so be excited! Get amped!

I'm very tired and am in Toronto next week filming, but I have about 6 videos to do for you guys that have to be done by this weekend so I promise to get that to you! My fingers are crossed... but I really want to keep this promise to you guys. Unfortunately, there's not enough hours in one day sometimes.

I also need to still tell you guys all about my weekend away with Jon!!!!!!

I hope you're all having a delicious week and I shall fill you in with all my shizz sooon!

Oh, do you guys recognize my outfit?

Behind The Falls

2011-10-25T23:02:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, I took Jon to Niagara Falls since it is one of our last weekends together. Just me and him. It was awesome!
Our favourite part was going legitimately behind, beside and under the falls. It's funny because we weren't going to pay the $12/person to just get extremely close to the falls as we thought it would be a stupid waste of money, because you are close to the falls for free anyway. I bit the bullet and coughed up the money because if I remember correctly, my father had taken me behind the falls when I was younger, and I loved it. We had to put these funky garbage bag, yellow rain things on and may I just add that we look damn sexy...

I, of course, put my sun glasses on 'cause I didn't want my mascara to run. Obvi! But holy smokes, did we ever get soaked! And let's just remember that it is October... In Canada! Thus, far from being warm. My sweater was absolutely soaked but the experience was so worth it. It was wild being so close to the falls and having it's mist and powerful wind blow on us. It was extremely exhilarating - and to think that we weren't going to do it! If you're ever in Niagara Falls, I definitely suggest going on this journey! The tunnels weren't so awesome as it was hard to see anything as you're standing literally under the falls and it's falling in front of your face, but it is awesome to know that you are under this thunderous power of falling water.
This picture was taken of the falls across from me. If you are familiar with this Canadian World Wonder, you'd know the waterfall is in the shape of a horseshoe so the falls continued to wrap around to right beside me.
I can't even explain this feeling, it was awesome.

Can you believe that this was right in front of me? I took this picture with my blackberry.

Someone just recently went over the water falls which is an immediate fatality. It's crazy to see all the parents that actually let their children (and even adults) stand up on the railings. All it takes is someone to bump you, and there's a lot of this here, and bye bye... you're over the falls.

Although I am so close to Niagara Falls and visit this beautiful place often, I am still amazed every single time. I highly suggest visiting and spending the money to do all of the amazing tours and activities. It's worth it!

I have so much more to tell you, but I will save that for another night. I am so swamped, and have so many videos to do for you guys, and have to film a celeb interview in London on Thursday, plus my full-time jobs... but this is what I wanted. I'm happy to be busy but man is it ever hard to figure out a schedule that works. Plus, I always sleep in - ooooopsie! The con of working for yourself.... well, a great pro as well!

P.S. Don't lie.. I know you like that pose... with my giant yellow suit and white bag and awkward wave.

Exotic Animals Attack

2011-10-20T09:30:00.000-04:00

"WILD LIONS ATTACKING MAN!" isn't quite the situation that is occuring here. This is Kevin Richardson, also known as the Lion Whisperer. If you are a frequent reader, you're well aware that I absolutely admire this guy and love wildlife. My favourite animals are Giraffes, then Orca's and then Lions! Oh, and my very own personally GORILLA! teeehee!

This brings me to the topic of all of these wild, exotic animals that got released by their suicidal owner (or lack of, rather) and are now being killed. I do not understand why these animals need to be murdered?! Why can't you tranquillize them? We all know the authorities response is going to be, "Expenses!" Okay, what is going to be more expensive? Instead of shooting them with a shotgun, shoot them with a tranquillizer gun because I'm pretty sure when these animals are endangered, not only are these people going to have a big responsibility in that, but it's going to cost a lot more money to build places to keep these animals safe from becoming extinct.

...and that's just my rant, not getting into my angry detail of an argument.

I'm angry and annoyed. It's disgusting what is happening to these exotic animals in Ohio. There will definitely be a huge argument and motion from animal activists, and I can't wait!

Other than that, I have been soaking up my time with the honey before he leaves to travel the world for 6 months. I can't believe we only have 2 1/2 weeks left together - time flew by way too fast. We are heading to Niagara Falls to spend this weekend together - just me and Jon. It's going to be great and I really need this before he leaves.

Now, I am going to get off this internet thing because I seriously can't stand seeing another depressing picture of the exotic animals in Ohio being murdered... and I'm going to go cuddle Diva.

But before I do so.... can you spot the difference?

I WANT TO SUCK....

2011-10-18T13:34:00.000-04:00

I want to suck your bloooooooooooooooood... Edward Cullen!

I've been in the Halloween spirit lately, so I decided to get a little ridiculous on Picnik. You guys know I love myself some Picnik action!

Yes, that's how I have been spending this week. Seriously, I have been on picnik, creating funky photos and sending them to all my friends - who now probably hate me not to add. I love my job, what can I say?

I just booked a weekend away for Jon and I in Niagara Falls. As of today, we have 3 weeks left. Do you understand how much that sucks? But aside from my sporadic moments of insanity and full-out bawling, Jon and I have been making sure to enjoy every last second that we have together. We really have established our relationship and I feel like we're stronger then ever. 6 months is a long time and anything can happen, but at least we can both have the satisfaction that we enjoyed our time together when we had the chance.

I have so many silly photos to show you guys, but I will save that for another post. I am just about to head to my doctors to get my heroin (B12 shots) and then I will probably head to Jon's to cook him some dinner so he has it when he gets off work.

Man, I'm such a nice girlfriend. I clean his apartment, cook him food, do his laundry... but I don't scrub his toilet! I won't even touch it to put the seat down if he leaves it up. Yuk! Yuk! Yuk! I'd rather piss my pants then touch that thing! Jon must cringe when he hears me scream, "JONNNNNN" when I walk into the bathroom. "What!?"

...."Can you come and put down the seat?!"

"Why can't you do it?"

"ITS YUCKY!"

I always get the joke (he's actually not kidding) from him... "How are you complaining to me about the seat being up in MY house? Why don't YOU put the seat up every time you're done for me?" Good point.... but I win! Put the seat down!

Listen, dude... if I wanted to touch a toilet seat... I'd be a plumber...

My Halloween History

2011-10-12T12:49:00.000-04:00

I have always had a sweet spot for Halloween. It was always such a blast for me whether I was young and running from door to door with my siblings, or once I was old enough to go out without adult supervisor with my friends! I just always had a blast. The most fun part, for me, was definitely the creation of the costume. It's funny because even back then - I was determined to be unique and create my own look. So, I dug through my brain for past memories and tried to find old photos (not such great luck) and decided to share with you, a little blast from the past of Chantilliscious Halloweeeeeening!

First of all, trying to remember all my costumes was intense. I seriously forget my own age sometimes... or what I did 5 minutes ago. It's bad... but I remember 10 costumes which I figured is about right because I probably stopped trick-or-treating at the age 12? So, I am going to try to list my costumes from when I was youngest to oldest and possibly share a good story or two with you. Doubtful... my life isn't that exciting! HA! I will start off by saying that I have never dressed up as an adult. I know... really!? Shocking to me too. Well, I have dressed up - kind of. I usually go to my Grandpa's for Halloween to help him hand out candy and tend to throw on a wig or something. One year I wore a mullet... just to be wearing a mullet. The other year I wore long lashes and when my grandfather (or anyone) asked what I was... I replied, "...beautiful!". HAHAH typical me, right? Last year, I wanted to be a burlesque girl - but with my recent break up with Mark and the ridiculously high prices for adult costumes, my bank account had other priorities. And this year I wanted to be an animal, like this frisky leopard... but again - finances have taken over my world. Plus, I kind of forgot Halloween was so soon! Ooops. And I know there are some of you saying, adult costumes are so skanky anyway! And you're right - they can be and that's why I would never dress up as a cop, or a fire woman, bunny... you know, the "typical" stuff. I'd still like to keep it sexy and fierce, but to my taste! But hey.... I still have yet to ever dress up as an adult so looks like I'll be skank-free another year!

Ok, so onto my costume past! If I remember correctly, when I was younger I was a pumpkin once, a witch often (comes naturally, right?) a sun flower and a dog. I have a video of me in my doggy costume - which you can watch in the amazing video!!.

The funny part about me being a sunflower once, is that Diva is being a flower this year! This is the costume that I ordered for her from my absolute love-for-a-site GlamourDog. I'm pretty excited to do a video of her dressed up. Last year she was a pink hippo, again, from Glamourdog. HAHHAAH! I loveeeee this costume!

As I got older, I decided to be a Ninja which was the coolest costume evvvvvvvvvver. I had an all black mask head thing. Honestly, picture a sock and putting that over your head. My face was completely covered and I remember walking up to a house and they said, "are you sure you can see in that?" And I said "Yup!".... as I fell down the stairs. You got it! I was the same then as I am now... apparently!
I then went to my Daddys to go trick or treating and to play a trick on him, as he obviously wouldn't be able to see me or who I am. After I said trick or treat and got my candy, I whipped off my ninja mask and said, "IT'S MEEEEEEEEE!" I decided to stop trick or treating that night and spend it with my Dad instead.

Now come the years where I was old enough to go out with my friends. I was a Hippie one year, where I went to a used clothing store, like Value Village and got a tie-dye blouse, vibrant pants, jewelry and painted peace signs and stuff all over my clothes. Oh, and I wore a scarf tied around my head and ran around saying, "Make Love, Not War mannnnn!".

I was also a vampire once, which was a last minute that I decided to do with my best friend at the time. Nothing exciting about that, as it was last minute and we just purchased them at the store. I was a clown - oh yeah, rainbow Afro wig and one-piece polka dotted madness and everything. I think that was in grade 5?
Ooh! Me and my best friend at the time were dead children once! We wore pajamas, put makeup on like we were dead, slippers, and well, I really wish this picture turned out better so you could see how damn creative we were, even back then!

Then , one year I was a barbie. I just bought big pink bubble sun glasses that were NOT in style then - wish I still had them 'cause they'd come in handy today! And triangular earrings... you know - all the kind of barbie stuff.

But, as I was looking through all my old pictures trying to find Halloween costumes, I did find pictures that weren't Halloween costumes... but sure as heck look like them! What were my parents thinking??

I sure hope this was an Easter outfit cause I'm surely dressed like a pink bunny!!

I look like a bean stock! Oh how I don't miss you, corduroy!

Ok, I know I look like I'm performing in the circus with my multi coloured star shirt, green tie and pants, but nope - this was my "first day at school" outfit. Thanks, Dad.

I'm a scarecrow! I look like a damn scarecrow! But can we just focus on the glam I was even back then? Dead center and a kick of the foot! Wooooooooooow!

I feel bad

2011-10-08T12:29:00.000-04:00

I feel so bad for Jon. I mean, not in the way you are probably thinking that I do though. I feel bad because he has to see how sad I am about him leaving. Today is October 8th. He leaves November 8th. It's hard for me knowing that every day that passes makes it closer to him leaving. It's hard for him to know how sad I am about him leaving. I try to hide it around him because I want to make the rest of our time worth it and I do not want to spend it dwelling on what is about to come. I usually tear up when I am not around him - but sometimes I just can't help it.
The other day we were watching a scary movie - he turns to look at me and I am legit bawling my eyes out. Sometimes it just hits me like a rock. He chuckles as me because who starts bawling in the middle of a scary movie.... I do! lol Then last night, we went to bed. Oh yeah - I might as well tell you that I have been spending a lot of time at his house. Well, not so much as his house - but I always come here to sleep beside him. Of course, we can't spend every day, all day together because we both work and have our own separate lives, family, friends - but lately, knowing that he is leaving soon, I always come over to sleep beside him. In a month - we won't be able to do that so let's soak it up! Naaaa mean?
Anyway, so last night we were laying in bed and BAM - I got hit like a rock again. I cried myself to sleep.
I am going to miss him so incredibly much.... it sucks. I can't imagine not bbming him about little things that happen throughout the day - or kissing him, cuddling him .... I just can't imagine my daily life without him. It sucks. It's bitter sweet for both of us, that's for sure.
Okay, so maybe I'm a little crazy with the random outburst of tears - but maybe Jon likes pyscho beetches?

Hanna... Idiot

2011-10-04T21:54:00.001-04:00

You are seriously not going to believe what Jon and I did the other night. We put in the movie Hanna and watched the movie and were a little confused once the ending came. We just didn't understand the movie and why the previews showed things that weren't scenes in the movie and we were just really boggled as to what in the world was going on with the movie. However, the movie was over so we went and continued on to the next, as we had rented 4. (Yeah I know, we rented 4 movies - who does that?!) Anyway, we were watching the previews that were on before the new movie we just put in, and Hanna previews come on... and again, tons of scenes that would have established the plot line, but that were not in the movie. Well, Jon and I decided to pop the Hanna movie back in and see what in the world was going on. Yup, we're idiots. Turned out that we watched everything but the first half hour of the movie, and had no idea. And isn't the first half hour the most important - which would explain why we had no idea what was going on. Bah! We're dummies. So, we ended up watching the first half hour of the movie only after we realized that we just watched the whole entire movie without it. I think the movie would have been great If we didn't watch the whole end - first.

And then the morning time! I woke up the the bestest breakfast ever from my honey. Aren't I lucky? He even had my Timmies coffee all warm and ready. Strawberries, bacon, eggs, toast! Uh! What a darlin!

Tomorrow Makes 5 Weeks

2011-09-30T13:52:00.000-04:00

Omg! Tomorrow is October. Do you know what that means? That means I only have 5 weeks left. 5 weeks to spend time with Jon. Oh how it makes my heart ache to think about it. I hate the unknown and I hate not knowing how long I will hurt for once he leaves. I hate not knowing what will happen to us when he leaves. I hate not knowing if one of us, or both, will meet someone else. I hate not knowing how dreadfully long these 6 months will feel. I am terrified for him to leave.

I am so happy for him and almost happy to put our relationship to the test, because this 6 months will be the ultimate test. We have gone through a lot together this far, and if we can make it through 6 months of once-a-month emails, and still be madly in love, we will then know everything. But I hate not knowing. I'm such a worry wart and being the silly minded person that I am, all I can think about is hurricanes, typhoons, earthquakes and anything else that has been happening in that part of the world. We have come up with some simple stuff to make the other feel comfortable while he is away. If there is a natural disaster where he is, he is going to call or email as soon as possible to either myself, or his family. His father will have my phone number to call me if he needs to or update me if need be. I am more scared for the actual day he leaves, November 8th. I think I will feel the worst that day, just knowing he's leaving and anything can happen in 6 months... just knowing 6 months. It'll be a brutal feeling. I'm excited to begin it though, because once the time has started, I can start counting down the days til he returns again.

My best friend, Katie and I are heading to Montreal for the New Year. She's my date! HAHA! It'll just be nice to go away, just me and her, and enjoy and appreciate the time! I love this girl with my whole effin heart. I can honestly say, since the day I met her, she has never let me down. She has stuck by my side through thick and thin. I am proud and honoured to have her in my life. I'm lucky to have such an amazingly beautiful best friend, and boyfriend. Katie's prepared to deal with me hibernating in my bed, crying for the first couple of weeks. Then, I know she will kick my ass into shape and get over myself. lol That's why I love her!

We are kind of going into the trip as, we will continue to be faithful to one another and have full intentions of continuing our relationship in May, but if something happens on a drunken night or whatever - just don't let the other find out. It's like a "get out of jail free card." I am not worried about that with myself, but Jon will be doing much more partying then I am, and I fully trust him - but things happen and I don't want him to have to worry or feel guilty while he is away. What I don't know won't hurt me. With that said, we are going to be 100% faithful to each other, but 6 months is a long time, and plenty of things can happen. So we made this (what some may call) ridiculous "truths" so neither one of us, more so him, will hold back from the amazing experience he is about to have with his guy friends!

Whatever happens, it will be an experience for both of us. Although I will still be here in my everyday life, I will learn a lot about myself, my heart and I will gain strength. I am terrified for him leaving because I know how much I am going to miss him. But I want him to live up this experience and his youth as much as he does. I would never hold him back from his dreams... and that's how I know I love him.

Everything happens for a reason, right? Which brings me to a crazy story that I want to share with you. Jon took me for dinner last weekend to a Chinese restaurant. His fortune cooking said something along the lines of,

"Your life is sending you on a new adventurous path".

Mine said something like,

"Your friends and family will be your backbone!"

Crazy? Or do these Chinese employees people follow my blog?!

MAKEUP AND EGO

2011-09-27T20:41:00.002-04:00

"Ego so big, you must admit
I got every reason to feel like I'm that bitch
Ego so strong, if you ain't know
I don't need no beat, I can sing it with piano"

Okay, enough of the Beyonce lyrics. Here is the latest from my youtube channel! Makeup eye shadow cosmetic goodness from SedonaLace and a fabulous fashion dress from EgoCloset perfect for work and the bar! Oh... and fab makeup for fantastic eye lashes!

November Til When?!

2011-09-27T01:20:00.000-04:00

I have been so busy lately. Completely swamped with job bookings and writing and now I am managing a team of my own writers. I'm just so overwhelmed and I apologize for my lack of communication with you guys. The bright side of that? I will be extremely busy when Jon leaves which will hopefully take my mind off of him and allow the time to go by faster - and I just booked a new job doing celebrity interviews! Exciting, right? I'm so stoked and I can't wait. So after work on Friday, I will be heading off to London to check the set out and might spend the night to go to a Music Video shoot Saturday, but we will see how tired I am - and how much work is on my to-do list. I swear that they don't make day-planners big enough to accommodate my life right now.

Unfortunately, all the spare time that I manage to have, or bust my balls so I can have, I have been taking that time to be selfish and get all my time in with Jon that I possibly can. It's officially booked. He leaves November 8th - May 2nd. When I actually heard the dates, I busted out in tears. I mean November to May... that sounds like a god awful long time, and awful it will be - but I'll make the most out of it. I guess I really don't have any other choice, right? We fully intend on staying together and continuing our relationship through monthly emails, postcards and gifts - but it will definitely put our love to the test, so who really knows what is going to happen. We're just going with it and if it works out, it works out.

Anyway, it is now 1am and I have been working since 8am so I am ready for bed!! I have so many videos to do for you guys but I have either filmed them in craptastic lighting, my computer wonks out - or something inevitably happens. I promise though, you will get some fashion/beauty videos this week - and vlogities from my upcoming weekend.
As of right now, I feel like a robot typing away and unable to stop. I hope you all are enjoying the fresh new hint of Fall and we will talk soon.
PS: Don't let the chilly weather bring you down, Fall Fashion is one of my favourite seasons!!

WAY BACK PLAY BACK

2011-09-21T10:56:00.000-04:00

I don't have a choice - I have to share my morning with you. I wake up bright and early and jump in my car to head home from Jon's and get a coffee before heading to work. AND GUESS WHAT WAS PLAYING?

First, It was QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART and you all know how I love the Backstreet Boys. Oh heck yes, I blared my music and belted out.

And then.... this was a way way way back play back and I still knew all the words!!

Anyway, it was a good start of the day, simply because of those songs. I love hearing old songs that bring you back to a certain time! Awesome! And that's all I have to say - back to work for me!

bad guy

2011-09-19T20:38:00.000-04:00

I have something that I want to talk about.
How is it that I have dealt with Jons "past" maliciously attacking our relationship, specifically me, and doing things to make my life miserable... and admitting to it, but I'm the bad guy?
I have stuck out all the crazy shit that has been done to me.
I am willing to wait 6 months for Jon to come back.
I have dealt with so much that any girl would have left the second they realized what "crazy past" they'd have to deal with.
But somehow I am the bad person?
I am the bad person because after 6 months of dealing with AT LEAST one thing from his past a week, I tell him I'm not okay with them being friends.
I was completely okay with them being friends at first.
Then the drinks being thrown on me at the bar started.
Oh, I'm not even going to get into it 'cause it's just not the person that I am.
After months of bullshit, and trying so hard to let Jon continue the friendship,
I snap.
And no, I don't snap on "his past".
Although most people definitely would have.
But out of respect for Jon, I do not.
I snap inside.
Telling Jon that I simply can not deal with it anymore.
I physically, mentally and emotionally can not do it anymore.
And he can make a choice.
Because I have tried every possible thing to try to respect that he wants his past as his friend.
While being attacked on a weekly basis,
And the only other option is to choose.
I love Jon, and would never make him choose.
So I leave.
And I'm the bad guy?

...sweetest ever

2011-09-19T20:29:00.000-04:00

I was sitting here working away when I heard banging.

I actually thought my computer desk was breaking.

Another bang happened.

I noticed it was coming from my window.

I looked outside my window and saw Jon with a hand full of rocks.

I open my window, and he shouts "i love you!" 

I asked, "what are you doing here? you can't just show up here to tell me you love me."

He asked to come in.

I open the door and before either of us could say a word, he grabbed me and kissed me.

He kissed me like it has been years since we saw each other last.

He promised me that I will not be viciously attacked by his... "past" anymore.

I guess we'll find out.

Today... I'm Falling

2011-09-19T13:02:00.002-04:00

Today I'm falling apart.
It must be the rain.
Rainy days were our days.
We would turn on the fireplace, and lay around watching our favourite movies and eating our favourite foods.
Our first kiss was in the rain.

It's so stupid that we are perfect.
We don't fight because of our relationship.
We don't fight because of Jon.
We don't fight because of me.
We fight because other people get in the middle and even admitted to trying to break us up.
We fight because of outside factors.

It is so obvious how much we love each other.
We break down the second we think about being apart.
Being apart for no other reason then other people.

We have the greatest relationship.
We love each other endlessly.
So why can't we just take that and run with it?
And eliminate the people that are trying to ruin us?

Diva and I miss our Jon.
We're falling apart.

Healing

2011-09-19T12:22:00.002-04:00

All I need to heal....

a reunion with my babies

night out dancing

a sunny morning with coffee and my babies (before the rain comes)

Alone

2011-09-18T21:13:00.001-04:00

Gawd! I'm missing him so much.

my life.

my heart.

my love.

I feel so alone.

First Night

2011-09-18T12:11:00.000-04:00

I woke up early this morning and heard the shower running. I thought Jon was getting ready for work and would soon be in to kiss me a good morning.
A typical morning.
In my sleepy haze, I realized I was home, my roommate was in the shower and Jon was no where near.
Reality.
I keep telling myself, just a few more days and I will be okay again and happier then I ever was.
I rolled over, grabbed my Diva and snuggled back to sleep.
Everything that I want, is gone.
...which is exactly what I want.
Bitter sweet.

...i will be mia

2011-09-17T22:47:00.000-04:00

...TAKING A WELL NEEDED BREAK

to regain myself.
my motivation.
my life.
my heart.
Please be patient with me.

In the meantime... here are my recent obsessions.

MUSIC VID RELEASED!

2011-09-13T23:36:00.000-04:00

After all the hard work, long hours and endless dedication from the WrecklessCrew Production Team... the music video has officially been released. I have been trying not to be nit-picky and then the owner of Jordanasboutique (the online store I love love love love love) said this to me - and it meant the world...

"ABSO-FREAKIN'LUTELY. We don't need no stick thin barbie thang, your fans
 need to see some boo-tay! I think you look voluptuous and gorgeous. I 
got basically booted out of the modelling industry years back because I 
went from a size 0 to a size 4. All the clients that booked me 
previously stopped. I was "too heavy" at 109lbs! I went home, ripped up 
my entire portfolio, and said C'est la Vie to the industry. ALL HAIL 
MEAT ON THE BONES!!!!!"

She is so right. I love my lovely lady lumps (HA! Remember that song?) and so should every woman! I replied back to her,

"Chantilliscious needs to be bootiliscious, right?"

hahaha! Aside from owning an amazing online boutique, Jordana has become a good friend of mine and I highly respect and admire her strength, intelligence and wisdom.

So without further ado, here are the behind the scenes AND the music video. 

Good Niiiight

2011-09-11T16:00:00.001-04:00

As I said in my previous post... I'm already over it!

Last night I went to a friends birthday Kegger and it was a delicious time! I dress in my alltime favourite get-up ever and spruced it up with some coach gear. A scarf... that I turned into a headband!

I was officially Michael Angelo alll night and told several people several times that I'd take my numchucks out on them! haha

I saw some of my really good friends that either I haven't seen in a while due to our busy schedules, or that they just got back from traveling! I also had some amazingly awesome and cool dance moves and people decided to take pictures and record. I am such a beautiful dancer, as you can see below....

I know, right? Totally awesome! hahahah Well I am very sleepy so I am going to keep this post very very short. I am so happy to have the good friends that I have. Especially Katie who is always there to hold my head high.
Katie and I shared a cab and I got dropped off first. I then paid DEAD ON my amount, screamed that Katie would give him a huge tip and ran out of the taxi!
HAHAHAHAH It's kinda funny.
I also learned that when you do not have toilet paper, use a pad. "At least it's super absorbent" I said!

Cheers to the freakin' weekend!

Severly Annoyed

2011-09-10T16:04:00.000-04:00

I am severely annoyed right now.

Like most of my "ZING! Venting" posts... I will not specifically say who this is about - but if it's about you, you'll know.

I just got off the phone with someone who informed me of some things which sent me into a spiral of angry, upset, weakness. I very rarely have these weak moments and they never last longer then a day, because at night, I always have a dream of this person doing something to me that had happened in the past which reminds me of exactly why I am where I am today - without them.

I have been up against the world for almost 2 years now - all by myself. The one person that witnessed everything that I stood for has now said that their is no bad blood between them and the people I have had it out with, because we are no longer together. Not only does this upset me, but it makes me feel even more alone. Yes, I am no longer with this person but I feel like they are the only person who saw everything that happened and saw me go through all this bullshit - and now they say they're okay with these people? Like, what kind of human being can be okay with these people? Especially when you saw, first hand, everything that happened and what I have gone through.

My life has drastically changed over the course of the past 2 years. I went from having everyone in the world, to only a select few that I choose to have. I am happy for that, but I am angry for that. I am angry because it didn't have to be this way if people weren't cowards. People are so scared of the truth and would rather coward behind it, instead of supporting me to speak against the bullshit going on.

One day, this person will be all alone and I am sorry to say but I will laugh. I highly doubt I will ever speak to this person ever again. It has been two years. Two years too late. You don't tell someone you will have their back, and then when push comes to shove, you run and save yourself and leave me there, standing alone. You especially don't do that to blood... for water.

Having these people being worried about having bad blood pisses me off sooooo much. One; you're worried about bad blood with my ex?! Why don't you worry about bad blood with me!? Two; My ex had said no, theres no bad blood. He explained to me he said this simply because we are no longer together and he is no longer involved. This frustrates me because he is the only one that saw what I spoke up against. And he is the only one who saw everything these people did to me - simply to "save face."

And I hear that "this person" misses me? HA! Really?! TWO YEARS LATER? Give me a damn break. It's funny, I remember at 4 months and I was like wow, 4 months... it'll take a lot to forgive you for not owning up at 4 months. Now it is almost 2 years. Trust me that I don't believe I will ever speak with these people again. Christmas has passed. My Birthday has passed. Those are things I will never forgive you for. So many people said, "well I'm sure you'll still get at LEAST a Christmas card in the mail!".... nope. No card. No phone call. Not even a cowardly email. Why didn't I send it? One, I am not the one who did wrong. Two, it's not my place.... I am a 22 year old daughter.

I finally became so sick of not holding grudges for all the bullshit these people have done to me. And for once, I was done brushing it off to let them continue to walk all over me.

The most disgusting thing is that I know these people are highly active youtube watchers... so I know that they know exactly what I have gone through over the past 2 years and not even EVERYTHING, but only that of which I chose to share publicly.

I'll never forget when my Aunt had shown up at my house at the 4 month mark. Just knocked on my door and as I opened it to find out who it was, she quickly shouted "I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL!". It took her 4 months and she's just my Aunt. She's not even realllllly involved. She explained why it took her 4 long months to come see me; and how scared she was that I was going to slam the door in her face. However, she wasn't a coward and forced me to talk to her anyway. And remember... this was at 4 months and I was hesitant, and she's only my Aunt. It's now almost 2 years. 2 long years for me to remember everything. 2 long years for me to grow even more hate, even more anger, even more strength.

You made your bed, and now you must lie in it. I am happy I have changed my phone number, and I am happy my new roommate isn't to tell anyone our address that could potentially tell "these people". It's sad that my despite and anger and embarassment for these people have come to this.

Mark recently asked me what I was going to do for Christmas this year. Sad reality, really. Last Christmas my Aunt had shown up and said she had asked if I could come to our family Christmas and it is okay - I cut her off with a, "YOU HAD TO EFFIN ASK!?". I know she didn't mean it like that, but it's the fact that she had to ask. Disgusting. Needless to say, I didn't even think for a second to go. If people actually wanted me to be there, they would reach out. I have had every single person, aunts, uncles, family members, family friends, cousins - everyone, reach out to me.... except the people that SHOULD.
Mark and I had already broken up by last Christmas. Instead of leaving me alone, knowing how much Christmas meant to me, I went to Marks family . I remember waking up Christmas morning with no phone calls, no Christmas music, no presents... 10 hours away, on the phone with my father crying.

2 years too late. That's all I have to say. I won't have this weak moment once I have a dream tonight about something you did to me in the past 20 years. (I'm now 22 - sad, isn't it?) Maybe I'll dream of the time when I left my extremely abusive, controlling boyfriend at the age of 19 and begged to come back home, only for you to say "you're an inconvienience". Or maybe the time in high school when I had straight 80% grades... and you threatened to put me on the streets because I had anxiety. Or the time when I was still living at home and you went and bought a 2 bedroom house for you and the oldest and I came back home to find my stuff packed and be told "you can find a place". Remember those times? 'Cause I sure as hell will never forget.

I'll also inform my readers that this argument was against child abuse. And having a "gf" in the family not wanting to be around me because I told her to stop, so instead of telling her to not come to MY family get togethers - I was told not to come.

Having someone encourage me to take a stand, and then I do, and you drop me like a fly when push comes to shove.

There's so much more - but I feel like I will save all the disgusting thoughts and bury them deep down inside me once again - just to not thoroughly embarrass these people.

You're no worse then her.

I look behind me and smile, because my past has taught me everything not to be.

Dear: Clueless Boyfriend

2011-09-04T19:26:00.000-04:00

Men are so clueless sometimes, eh? I mean, about almost anything female or feminine. Apparently, when we are on our lovely time of the month, we put a "plug" in the morning and take it out at night and that's it. If only it was that easy.
I'm not here to write about periods and tampons, although that is a hilarious topic in itself. This post isn't for the ladies. This post is for the men that have absolutely no idea. The men who are clueless.

There is nothing worse then when you plan a lazy day, and then the boyfriend springs something on you - like meeting up with friends, going to a movie, going out... period. To the clueless boys, you must understand that when we plan for a lazy day, we style for a lazy day. I'm talking comfy clothes, hair thrown up and absolutely no makeup. Now, of course, "you look prettier with no makeup on"... but more times then often, when you think we have no makeup on, we actually have at least concealer, curled our lashes, and possible some powder. Lazy days don't include this. Lazy days... we are lazy. Lazy with even putting minimal makeup on. Lazy enough to crawl out of bed and go over to your house to have a lazy movie day like this... with no one else seeing us.
Now, when you throw something on us last minute, like plans, unfortunately... we can't just do those things. If you want to go to a friends, or out to a movie.. or anything other then lay on the couch alone, you must tell us. Us ladies need to prepare. Comprende? Save us the argument.
Toodles xo

SMOKING DRESSES

2011-09-04T13:01:00.000-04:00

NINJA TURTLE POWAAA

2011-09-03T17:37:00.000-04:00

Yes, I have recently been spotted wearing some very unique clothing, specifically dresses. I'm pretty sure...maybe...possibly... these are intended mostly for Halloween - but I am rocking this badboys throughout my every day events.

Hey, if you wanna turn heads - this is the way to do it!

I just think they are so cute and so different and I love love love that with clothing! Plus, these unique dresses are so form fitting! Makes my curves look BANGING!
Seriously though, they are extremely comfortable too! You know how most dresses ride up, or just aren't flattering or comfy? Well not these ones. I seriously have not taken them off all week. Okay, that's a lie - of course I have, but they have been my outfit choice for two days straight. They are just so cool! hahahaha You can get the dresses and all sorts of awesome apparel here. Definitely check it out - I'm sure there's a few things you can find for yourself, or your boyfriend! They have honestly everything you can possibly imagine. TV apparel, movie apparel, cartoon apparel, dr. suess... the list goes on and I'm pretty sure I'm going to screw my bank account on this website. I honestly have created a list of "thing to gets" from this store. Here are my top faves... aside from what I already have.

Obvi, I want a Ninja Turtle Hoody!! I love my hoodies in the winter!!
3 of the Sex and The City T-Shirts. The Carrie one, and then this one and this one!
Sons Of Anarchy - I'm a huge fan of the show! Jon and I are addicted!
I think the Alice in Wonderland shirts are so so cute and unique.
MY FAVOURITE MOVIE - Dirty Dancing! I had cute shorts like this once... until my dog ate them.
All of the DR SEUSS shirts for woman/juniors. So adorable.

HAHA! I wasn't kidding when I said I honestly love this site! I went through all of it!! Don't be a fool, get a shirt and be cool!
I used to avoid t-shirts like this like the plague, and only recently fell in love with them, but with one exception... it has to be a t-shirt that not everyone has, it has to absolutely, in no way, shape or form be generic, and must be unique, flashy and absolutely adorable. Needless to say, I have a feel this site I recently found is going to be my go-to for any t-shirt shopping that I do!
Funny story though, my bestfriend Katie called... this is how the beginning of our convo went...

Katie: Hey! What are you doing?

Chantal: I'm a ninja turtle.

Katie: What?

Chantal: I'm sitting in a ninja turtle outfit!

Katie: You would.

I know Jon will go crazy for some spider man gear. He's a spider man kinda guy. Weird, because we always say I'm a spider monkey? Awwww, it's love!! I also did a super rad video about these dresses! Check that out too, cause it's awesome!

Speaking of boyfriends, Jon leaves soon. September has hit and that leaves us with two months left. I am trying not to be absolutely miserable about what the future brings, but it is quite hard knowing that every day that passes leaves us with one less day. Everything happens for a reason though, and at least I have these dresses to put a smile on my face!! HA HA! I am so in love with them. Don't hate until you try it! Seriously.... I put on my ninja turtle dress and I turned into a ninja turtle!! I put on my Hersey dress and I turned into the chocolate bar!!