Chapters From My Life

Life Is So Unpredictable...

2012-02-03T19:07:00.000+05:30

Life is so unpredictable! So what is new about it you may ask? The new thing is, I can blog about it ;).

My son Rayyan came home for a week... I had big plans for us. First I went down with viral infection; which instantly degraded Rayyan from being the precious child on a visit home, to a ward boy. Poor thing! Later when I planned to visit our best friend; a precious girl who is like a daughter to me, married recently and living in her in-laws place, I decided to have a check up with my doctor on way because of constant pain in the lowest part of my abdomen. My doctor found a grape sized polyp which was looking sinister there. She was sure it should be taken out as soon as possible, especially since I have already been through cancer earlier. We had a little friendly discussion, (she is my doctor but also a good friend) whether I should wait till Rayyan leaves or have him there to be my caretaker after the surgery. She convinced me to do it when he was around.

I took leave from her because I wanted to finish what I started. So we went ahead to our friend’s house, spent some nice time there and then I got into the hospital. There is a lot to talk about my hospital experience and my hours in hell due to some minor duty lapse on behalf of the staff… but that is for later. Not fit enough to do full blogging yet. Keep me in your prayers because I am waiting for the report on the polyp. Hope it is benial and has nothing to do with cancer….

When in hospital I heard someone call a lousy person “YOU DONKEY” and I recalled something I had written back in my school days. Sharing one of my old poems with you.. hope no one will start arguing about this again …

THE DONKEY’S GRIEF

Once I saw a donkey, climbing a mountain in great speed

I wondered what had happened, and tried to inquire, but it did not heed

Perceiving there was something fishy going on, I followed it to the top

I saw the donkey ready to jump; unable to bear I shouted “STOP”

I asked, “Why are you dying ‘O’ donkey, though you are so wise?

Don’t you know committing suicide is an act of cowardice?”

The donkey wept bitterly and asked “How can you know my worry?

If you have patience to bear, I will tell you my story.

I have served my master all my life, with great love and care

Unlike his disobedient children who just roam here and there

But now whenever his children do something, which is not good

He calls them ‘You donkeys’, which is a disgrace to whole donkeyhood

How can I bear to hear him compare his bad children with me?

Instead of being compared with lousy humans, better dead I would be”

I had no words of comfort to say to this poor creature

But I resolved never to compare any human to animal in future.

Being a Mom - Part II

2012-01-25T19:44:00.000+05:30

Continued from Being a Mom Part I

Look at the child, not the walls.. :)

Relationships often have responsibilities attached which take away a part of you or change you into something else. Being a daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, student or wife had that kind of effect of on me.

The best part about having kids is they did not take away what is there in me and change me into a Maa. They have brought the real me out and made me what I was really meant to be in the first place. They haven’t driven me nuts – but made me think wisely. They have not made me weak and nervous but made me strong and brave. They have given me the enthusiasm to fight for my life and live in their happy world, enjoying their company. I can proudly say ‘I am at my best when I am being a Maa’.

I am indebted to my children for returning my own self back to me. I would like to share a small poem here which many years ago Rayyan (7 yrs) walked up to me and rendered spontaneously. I treasure it one of the best award I ever received. It was said in much simpler words in mixed up language. I wrote it down and kept it in my own words.

God gave me a Maa.

God has given me legs to walk

A boneless tongue to talk

A short nose to poke about

A big mouth to eat and shout

A cheek to receive lovely kiss

Friends to help me in crisis

Wonderful teachers to teach

A father to discipline me and preach

A heart to warn me when dangers lurk

Two tiny hands to do my work

Above all God gave me a Mommy

Who can do everything for me!

She talks for me when my words fail

She pokes about when I lose trail

She shouts on my behalf when I have sore throat

She plays with me when my friends tire out

She teaches me what my teachers can’t

She preaches me when my father won’t

She is in my heart to make it strong

She is like music and a beautiful song

I love my Maa.

Off course I love that dear boy who is grown up and fast turning into a wonderful animator now..

Fun time with kids

The kid summed it all very well. I changed back into behaving and being a kid after I became a Maa. Gone were the days I spent, brooding over lost opportunities, lazing around, being grounded for no apparent reason or watching boring movies. It was time again for long walks, activities, music, creativity and fun. I took up painting once again and it was one of the activities we all enjoyed thoroughly as a group of expert painters. Occasionally, Farheena would get carried away and her art spread on the floor and climbed up the walls. She wouldn’t stop until sleep took over her genius creations.

Farheena continuing the art work in her sleep...
She was unstoppable..

I allowed one messy room for my children to enjoy themselves. The walls could be painted and floor could be tainted there, but nowhere else in the house. To this day, my children have followed the rule. They do not trespass their territories ever. There was a time when I was confused about making decisions. Children were precious and I could not take chances. Though I had instincts telling me what was right and what was wrong, I decided to seek expert advice from people who knew about children. Starting with a book ‘Bringing Up Baby’, I intently
studied a lot and listened to people who mattered on parenting. Finally what precious gift I got out from all my effort was my ability to be patient, ability to accept the truth gracefully, ability to persevere and ability to love unconditionally.

Being a Mom - Part I

2012-01-23T10:07:00.001+05:30

One of the hundreds of loving moments which makes life worth living...

When I was thoroughly enjoying Sidney Sheldon’s ‘Tell Me Your Dreams’, I was intrigued by the multiple personalities of Ashley Paterson. It was unbelievable that a person could have a diverse personality inside their psyche, that was until my own alternate personality took over me. My alternate personality was called ‘Maa’ and it was completely opposite of what I was. The advantage I had over Ashley was that, I was aware of both the sides of these personalities and could interact with them. I am spared the mystery at least! Whew.

Little Rayyan

Life was simple and boring until 20^th August 1991. At 7.18 a.m. on that day, the most wonderful moment of my life took place. I gave birth to a child and I was born again. That is a contradictory sentence, but that is how life has been ever since. When I say, ‘I was born’, that is the beginning of my alter personality which started taking over me and changing me into a Maa. Days have passed by, and finally, ‘Maa’ rules my life now.

I was a trouble maker as a child, but, as I grew up, I sobered down. Though I had those temper tantrums, crying bouts and other teen related symptoms; for most of my teen years I was quite, scared and withdrawn young girl. I was afraid of the world. Loud sounds, fights, dogs, cows, men, and eve teasers everything scared me in my teens. I do not understand when and why the transition happened, but somewhere during my adolescent time it took place slowly and unnoticed by me. On the other hand, that could be one of the other alter egos taking over me, or just simple growing up process. Whatever, I damn sure that I was not the same person in my teens, as I am now or I was in my childhood. The present myself can relate well to the childhood myself, but in no way can it see eye to eye with my teen self; which was hollow, pretentious, always trying to please others, and nervous.

I am indebted to my children for returning my own self back to me. Few Memorable moments I have enjoyed with my loving children.

Having fun with costumes

Another childish behavior of Maa LOL

Annie enjoying Farheena's birthday cake

Annie wears flowers in her hair for the first time.

The beach dramas...

Rayyan being extremely excited about his paper hat

Picnics are more fun with children

Cooking is fun when you cook for your kids. Their smile pays with happiness

My Blog Review by Lucifer House Inc

2012-01-21T09:45:00.000+05:30

This is a well balanced and helpful review of my blog. If you like it get in touch with The Fool (Don't be fooled by that name ;) ) for a review. I have already implemented few of the tips given there and I feel it is giving out positive effects. Thank you The Fool.

Lucifer House Inc.: Chapters from my Life:
Long back, I remember reading a book called ‘What Katy did’. One bit of conversation from that book had somehow stuck to my mind when I had read it. There is a character called Cousin Helen who tells Katy on becoming bed ridden that she is now a student in the “School of Pain” where she will learn lessons in patience, cheerfulness, hopefulness, neatness and the making the best of things. This came back to my head unconsciously when I was going over the blog ‘Chapters from my Life’. The blogger seems to have learnt a lot in the very same “School of Pain” and she is kind enough to share the learning with all of us. Her writings reflect a deep understanding of the essence of life and the value of every single moment in life.

The blog appropriately titled ‘Chapter from my Life’ puts forth some chapters from the life of Farida Rizwan, an Indian rural house wife who has been through a lot of really tough circumstances in life and has emerged stronger for the same. In addition to personal experiences, she writes poetry and shares thoughts on family, relations and life in general, caring for children and on fighting cancer. She herself has lost more than one family member to the disease and has a special needs child she takes care of. But that by no means makes the blog just a cancer support or child care blog. A few posts may pertain specifically to these topics. But the general public at large can relate to and have some takeaways from most of her posts.

I would like to point out some of the things that fascinated me most about her writings. In her articles on relationships, she has structured her thoughts really well and exhibits an amazing clarity of thought. Her personal experience posts are really vivid and capture all the key events associated with a particular incident in her life and the associated emotions in an interesting narrative. Her poems are a real delight. They come straight from the heart and reach straight to the heart. No pretensions, no unnecessary words, no complications! Hers are poems even someone who does not care much for poems can easily relate to. One unique aspect of her posts is that she makes most of her own illustrations. Self made illustrations add more personal touch to the writings and connect better with the reader than images from Google.

Her back drop is a combination of light and dark blue with checks like a shirt. I feel it looks too austere like a hospital ward. Since she writes about the gloomy topic of cancer also (though with a positive frame of mind), I wish she would lighten the environment of her blog with something more cheerful in the background. As far as widgets go, some of the navigation widgets are nice but overall I get a crowded feeling with too many widgets. I am not sure if the advertisement widgets bring any revenue at all. The award badges are nice, but she has won so many contests and I am sure she will win many more. Maybe it will be nice to have separate static page to display the achievements instead of keeping them all on the side bar. The general badges pertaining to blogger sites that do not bring much traffic can be done away with or moved to a not so prominent location close to the blog footer.

Coming to my favorite topic of navigation, I must say she has put reasonable efforts in this area. There is a related posts widget and labels have been used as tabs to segregate different post categories other than the regular archives. Also there are in- post links to other posts where ever there is some connection. However navigation is an area where there is always scope for improvement. Using labels as tabs, makes it a bit inconvenient as reader has to scroll down 10-15 posts on a single page. Instead, having links to the posts on a static page with some small description can make it more visitor-friendly. In my opinion, a blog is not a news website but more a living book. So one must constantly be revisiting and reorganizing content. One can always change content in an earlier post as one gets fresh thoughts and also add links to a later post if found relevant. The ease of access must be same for a 3 years old post as a 1 day old post. In literature, personal, photo and most travel blogs content is not dated. So as more and more content is developed, a serious rethink is needed to classify and re-organize the content. In some ways it is very similar to how companies keep restructuring their organization as they grow in size.

One more thing I would suggest while organizing content is to segregate contest posts from regular posts. It has been my personal experience that regular readers of a blog do not appreciate contest posts, especially the ones with narrow guidelines or where one has to talk about a specific product unless the blog itself is a product review blog. So it will be convenient if regular readers have some mechanism by which they can easily identify contest posts and skip them if they do not want to read them.

In terms of interaction, in the older posts, the interaction level is quite low. But in the more recent posts, it is seen every comment is read and responded to. The volume of comments is also quite good. For this type of blog, I feel the comments are sufficient interaction. I don’t see the need for any specific section for general interaction as is the case of information blogs.

This would be classified as a personal blog in most directories. But I find the very concept of a personal blog an oxymoron. A blog is something public. And personal is opposite of public. A blog should be classified from the point of view of the reader and not the writer. If a blog has no utility to a reader, then it is just a personal diary or a rough book. In this context I would prefer to call this blog an inspirational or motivational blog rather than a personal blog. It is the place to go to if one is feeling down in the dumps and that life has not been fair. This blog would definitely help lift up one’s spirits. Chapters from Farida's life also offer one lot of lessons about life in general.

Find below a few samples from the blog.

Hidden Faces

Children are to be loved and protected

Man and Woman - What connects or disconnects them?

Trapped in a cocoon

Directly from the heart of a mom with a special needs child

I Hate Being Censored Because

2012-01-18T20:47:00.001+05:30

Lord Wiki is protesting against SOPA and PIPA. They have blacked out the English Wikipedia for 24 hours, beginning at midnight January 18, Eastern Time. Readers who came to English Wikipedia during the blackout were not able to read the encyclopedia. Instead, we saw messages intended to raise awareness about SOPA and PIPA, encouraging us to share your views with your representatives, and with each other on social media.

I have had enough of censorships in my life. For the beginning there was censorship in the name of my being handicapped, then came the censorship based on my gender, religion, status (being married woman) and many other factors; which entered my life and changed me into something which I was not meant to be. I found refuge in virtual world where I was free from these censorships, and could be myself; but, is that virtual life under threat too?

What do I hear? The internet is going to be censored in India also. Being technically blind, deaf and dumb, I cannot apprehend the issue on hand properly. But the news reports are enough to make even a simple internet user like me to understand, that this is going to be censorship of our freedom in the virtual world. Is another freedom fight on hand now against our own people? I hear that Aseem Trivedi’s website ‘Cartoon against corruption’ was taken down without even informing him. It was handled in a Hitlerian style. No court ruling was involved. So, if someone finds a website offensive it will be brought down just like that? Is there no need to decide whether the content of the website is really offensive or not? I thought internet was a place where you could access censored thoughts which cannot be expressed freely in reality. I first accessed internet to read Salman Rushdie’s Satanic verses. I was absolutely sure that the book is not going to corrupt me and I was right, it did not. My mind is strong and cannot be influenced by simple books. I loved having access to information that I censored for myself, because I am the best person to decide what I should read and what I shouldn’t.

Is our country so corrupt that it will fear cartoons making fun of its corruption? I think this is just the beginning. In future there is going to be control over what information needs to reach people. Anything can be deemed offensive for a person. I myself consider my computer to be holy and I cannot stand anyone making jokes about my computer. Does that matter to other people? There are so many people who cuss and even kick their computers.

I do not have enough power to stop what is happening but I would like to contribute my two cents to the issue. Some wise person once said, “If you cannot burn like a lamp, then be a mirror that reflects its light”.

Life Would Be Boring Without Children

2012-01-15T14:32:00.002+05:30

May be Manal is intimidated by the vastness of the sea... One of the best pictures I have ever clicked. Love this picture of the girl on the beach...

My niece Manal loved watermelons. One day she was excited, running around me, as I cut the melon into small pieces so that she could eat it without trouble. Here you go I said to her... To my utter surprise, she picked up the half melon I had kept aside for using later and started eating it. Some beautiful memories children leave behind for us to cherish forever.

Children are something special.. so sad they grow up fast.

Manal and Farheena were playing about, all of a sudden I hear light snoring and turn around to find Manal asleep in play position and Farheena confused as to what to do....

Farheena at her cutest best. I am so much in love with that picture of hers.

My sister was waiting to pee, but someone was in the bathroom and she could hear the water running. After nearly wetting herself, when she pushed the door, it was unlocked and who did she find there? Aayan, giving her a cute smile.

When in USA, I heard my son desperately calling out to me "Maa help! help me please". I rushed in to find him wrestling a crocodile.. Whew!
Some kids never grow up...

My nephew Shuraim was fascinated with the Farheena's collection of colorful beads. I found a way of making him wear all of them, for a fancy dress competition. All those beads were quite heavy and he soon lost his fascination...

When we asked Huzaifa who looked quite tensed to smile for a picture.. he came up with an instant smile in seconds. That was genuine too... only kids can do that.

I had dressed Farheena in a sari for occasion and decorated her hair with flowers. Then I had cooking to attend to, so left her. She was unusually quite, so I peeped back in to see what was happening. Farheena felt sad for Annie, her doll, who did not get any attention from me that day. So she pulled out the flowers from her hair and decorated Annie's hair.

How Fair Is That?

2012-01-14T20:01:00.001+05:30

How Fair Is That?

I shed my tears all alone,

I suffer pain , alone I groan

I carry my own heavy burden

I walk with feet heavy laden

I fail, I suffer, I falter and fall

So far,no one bothers at all

But one smile to show

Everyone wants to know

What is behind my bliss

Like a snake they hisss

What is behind that smile

They look so hostile

If you want my joy but not my pain

How fair is that? Think over it again

Relationships... Sometimes I Tackle Them Head On

2012-01-13T01:41:00.001+05:30

Marriages are made in heaven and so are thunder and lightning… Some wise person came up with quote which is so true. When two different individuals try to become one, there are bound to be sparks (of all kind and types), leading to some fiery situations; not only between the individuals involved, but also between the people connected to them.

Being a very spicy person myself who runs away from problem only to fall into their lap, my life has been strewn with so many of such fiery relationship dramas. What best time can beat the one when we have the KFC fiery contest running on indiblogger for me to share these fiery dramatic events with you? So here I go.

I grew up in a close knit family. My parents lived away from our native place, with four of us kids, which created a special bond between the six members. My sister was main glue who held us together more tightly. When my sister and I got married, the priorities in our lives were supposed to change and we were expected to treat our better halves (if you insist on calling them so) as ‘holy thou’. My sister was point blank in shooting her condition that whoever married her should keep her with my Mom. I was never given a chance for putting down any conditions, as my own marriage was a big drama.

The Marriage Drama

Being a fiery girl from my childhood, though a bit mild and cool as an adolescent, I don’t know what made people to expect me become the ideal bollywood biwi kind of person all of sudden. Marriage is not like childbirth which can change you over night. It was supposed to be a slow process but my better half wouldn’t wait. He was very anxious to prove that husband was important for a woman of all the relationships she has in her life. Unfortunately, he chose the wrong timing for this.

My dad had been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s cancer when I was in my Hubby’s home. I was devastated and wanted to leave for Bangalore immediately. My mother in law was against me going away on short notice, so she somehow convinced my husband that I was needed here in Byndoor due to some functions and ceremonies which involved my sister in law and her pregnancy. A very obedient son, my better half told me to wait for few more days before leaving for Bangalore, and, immediately lost his always in doubt status of better half. How could he not understand my turmoil of hearing the news my dad being sick and me away from him?

Aghast and disgusted, not hiding my emotion I asked him, “WHY?”

Instead of some worthy dialogue he came up with a lame and limping explanation, “Because, I, your husband says so”.

“For God’s sake, this is no time for crap. My dad is sick”

“Once you are married your priorities change. According to our religion a wife cannot even attend her father’s funeral if her husband forbids her. God has permitted people to bow only to him, if ever he would have allowed anyone else to be worthy of such reverence then it would be the husband. So you have to understand that now you have to listen to me. I did not say that you shouldn’t go, I only said you go after few days”.

This was a sticky situation in the early stages of my marriage. It was not good to walk out of marriage as there were too many things to consider, like my new born son, my dad who was sick and the love we shared. I was also sure that this would not end the way he wanted it whatever the outcome be.

No one had ever asked me whether I was devoted to any religion and accepted all the rules set by it. Somehow, it was assumed to be so. Now there was no way I was going to listen to him and stay back for a few days. Instead of being rash and rude, for once I became a witty diplomat. I asked him to sit down and listen to me carefully and understand exactly what I was saying because one more wrong response from him was going to create a scene which he wouldn’t like and which would prove that husband is not so superior after all. After getting him seated, I sent out my message in a cool and calm voice, “You say husband is very important person in my life. You are my husband today and you are the most important person of life. But you know what? If I divorce you, and marry someone else, then that person is going to be the most revered person in a matter of months. Many women have gone on to have 8 or more such important beings in their lives. This does not happen to parents. I cannot cease to be their daughter or they cease to be my parents for any reason. God has a say in this relationship. Our bond (of husband and wife) is created by us and it left to us to decide what we do with it. The love and respect I have for my parents will never go away just because I created some more relationships in my life.

Heartbreak....

In our relationship, let us not argue who is important and who should rule. Let us think what is important at the moment; whether a daughter visiting her sick father or a woman attending her sister in law’s ceremony. So think it over and answer because as I told you, our relationship is not in the hands of God. It can break”.

I was not loud or rude, but I had a fire burning in me and I was fierce at the moment. Good for us, he got the hint that there was a huge volcano brewing in my heart and it was not safe to provoke it to come out. It all ended well with me leaving immediately to visit my dad and be there with him while the ceremonies went on well without me. This is only few of those lucky moments when I have been diplomatic and calm. My usual self is more fierce and attacking kind.

Some more side dishes to go with the main course…

I had fiery spat with a father of a married woman once. His daughter was married to a person who was a only son of his parents. According to the Indian culture, she had live with her in-laws. It was tough times for their family, as the son was not doing well financially. The girl’s father while lamenting over the misfortune of his daughter complained to me that parents should never marry their daughters in home where there are parents- in law. That was something very tough to digest even with a hajmola. So asked this person who himself had a son of marriageable age, “So are you going to drink poison and kill yourself when your son gets married?” Shocked he blurted “What?” I replied bitterly, “If all people think like you then your son will never get married until you are alive”. That must have sent the message because I never heard his complaints again.

When I was going through cancer, a close relative once said, mockingly, “Hey! Look, you have lost all your hair”. It was funny to imagine that I did not know that. My answer was “I haven’t lost humanity yet”.

Someone found it amusing to make fun of my club foot and said, “You have crooked foot”, I replied, “But it doesn’t lead me on crooked path, the path that makes people stoop low and make fun of disabilities”

A remark regarding my special needs child, “Why did God give you this child?” I replied to this question honestly, “Because he knows I can love a child unselfishly, without expecting anything from the child in future, not making comparisons, and because I have patience to deal with my child. God gave her to me, because he knew she cannot make people like you happy”.

This post is a part of Contest on Indiblogger by KFC Fiery Grilled.

What Is Life Without Love, Adventure and Miracle To Brighten It?

2012-01-11T12:38:00.000+05:30

This entry is a part of BlogAdda contests in association with Zapstore.com

Love:

When we think of love usually a picture of beautiful young girl and a handsome young boy looking deeply into each other’s eyes comes into our mind. This is the stereotype image we have of love. People often tend to forget that love can be found in many other forms.

We have known people who love their pets, plants and even inanimate objects like computer, car, camera or even a pillow.

One of the most amazing loves I have seen in my life is the one shared between my Mom and her friend from NYC. My Mom had not been outside Karnataka, other than a few visits to Puttaparti and Mumbai. She was not highly educated person and did not speak many languages. Obviously she could not speak English.

Spiceeee....!!!

When Heidi King visited Whitefield, she was a young and extremely beautiful young lady. I was child then and recall that she was alone and had come seeking spiritual enlightenment in India. Somehow my Mom and Heidi got connected; even with the language barrier they made arrangements that Heidi would stay at our home in a room, and would pay a small rent towards food and accommodation. It was going to be big makeover for my mom to cook the food which could suite the palate of NYC lady. Coming from coastal Karnataka region my Mom used to cook very spicy food which was too hot even for me. I can well imagine the shock Heidi would have got if she ever tried to taste our regular curry.

My Mom was a good cook, good in sense she cooked food the way people wanted it. Thus, within days she was preparing finger licking dishes for Heidi. She stayed in India for few months. During her stay Heidi developed a very strong bond of love with my Mom.

Once, while cooking food, my mom burnt her hand because she did not hold the rag cloth properly. Heidi went ahead to buy a metal pot holder for my Mom that day and told her to be careful. My Mom must have burnt her hand innumerable times while cooking, and no one had ever bothered to care about it. That simple act from Heidi touched my Mom’s heart very deeply. Here was a woman who was from other part of globe but could feel her simple pain.

They both used to communicate without language; I can say that because none was well versed in sign language either. After her stay was over, Heidi said bye to us and went back to NYC. My Mom seldom used the tool Heidi bought her, but we had it in our kitchen as long as I was there and may be my sister-in-law still uses it. Once in a while, when cooking, my Mom would look at the pot holder and speak about the friend she had, who connected with her without words.

Heidi came back to India again, this time with her parents. My Mom’s joy knew no bounds. I remember we had five to six Americans enjoying the food my Mom cooked for them back then. Heidi was the first person I had seen with a camera. It was not usual for people to click photos in those times. We had few precious pictures brought back to us by Heidi. She also bought me my first set of sketch pens. Heidi had visited our native village Byndoor too. Being a great artist she had sketched wonderful paintings of our village. She went back to NYC after few months. In hectic schedule of life, we eventually lost touch with her. Initially there were mails exchanged, but then we kept changing our address and finally we lost contact with her. She was always there in my Mom’s memory though. 25 or so years went by. My Mom would fondly think about her and regret that we forgot to keep her address safely.

2000 was the era of computers and internet in my life. One day I decided to give my Mom a surprise. I tried searching for Heidi King, NYC in yahoo search. Those were the days when I did not know much about google. Yahoo was my internet world. It threw too many Heidi’s at me. I did not know which one to pick to start with. Someone mentioned to look in white pages of excite.com. I tried it, there were lots of Heidi’s there but the number had come down. I took the numbers of top ten and went back home. I kept calling one Heidi a day, for a week. I would ask a simple question, “Have you been to India?” Lucky for me, most of them were polite in their answers. Finally on day seven I hit gold. I had found my Moms friend after nearly 25 years. Tears of joy were streaming down my Mom’s face as she spoke in her broken English. Heidi had married and settled quite late in her life. Consequently, after few phone calls and connections, she and her amazing husband David, visited India once again. My Mom and Dad were so glad to welcome the couple. They had fun and some 'not so good adventures' during their stay. To top it all, they could attend the wedding of my brother and also sister which took place on the same day. Heidi again captured some memorable photographs with her digital camera this time around.

Adventure:

Heidi and David had lots of fun in the wedding. Though we had professional photographers clicking pictures, it was Heidi who captured the most memorable picture of all with her camera. It was the picture of Mom and Farheena laughing heartily. Now that I have lost my Mom, the picture she captured means a treasure to me.

Heidi and David decided to visit Mysore when they were in India. We could have accompanied them, but there were lots of things to attend to in our family due the dual wedding; hence, my brother arranged a good driver(?) and taxi for them to visit few places on way to Mysore.

Heidi, though a New Yorker is very mild and humble person. I cannot imagine her ever watching a violent movie or hearing loud music. She is very soft spoken and simple person and same could be said about David too. After they left, I went over to cool corner in Rajarajeshwari Nagar, to have our favorite snacks with my son and daughter. It was our coolest joint, which we had been missing. As I was about to eat my ‘masala puri’, I received a phone call on my cell phone from an unknown number. I hesitated, but picked it up to check who was calling. A man on the other side spoke in a gruff voice, very rudely too, “Do you know these foreigners named Heidi and David?” The plate of masala puri almost fell down from my hand, I stammered, “Yes, what happened to them?” The man on the other side asked again, “Do you know them properly?” I was almost shivering now. I tried to answer him in as calm voice as possible that I knew them from my childhood.
There was a pause and then I heard Heidi’s feeble voice, “Oh Farida, we are in trouble”. Aghast I asked, “Where are you?” Her answer shocked me, “We are in police station”. She was so scared and tired that she could not tell me anything more. The person who spoke to me earlier was the inspector. He spoke again and told me that, the driver had sponged off money from Heidi and David, had taken in lots of alcohol, and after being drunk had hit an auto rickshaw. People gathered and tried to stop the car; he did not bother to care where he was going, but tried to escape. The infuriated mob had opened the door but he tried to speed up again and drove with a man hanging on the door of the car. There were some plain clothed policemen there who stopped him finally and took the car to the police station. Heidi later told me that they did not know the people in plain clothes were policemen, and was very scared that they had been captured by some dacoits.

I explained to the inspector that these people were quite safe and they could contact me anytime for assurance. I could swear on the fact that they were safe people. He asked me few more questions and then guaranteed that Heidi and David would be safe. They were sent off by another taxi to Mysore by the police. I cannot even imagine the horror the couple must have gone through when such turbulence took place. They are quite mild and very sensitive people who speak almost in whisper. The taxi owner suffered a great loss because the police seized his vehicle. The driver had been nasty again and tried to escape from the toilet of the police station. What a drama!

After David's stint with severe diarrhea in Mysore, things started getting calm. They both loved the city of Mysore and clicked pictures of the city with their camera to share with their friends in NYC. Whew! I was glad they were safe. All’s well that ends well. Sure that was an adventure to remember.

Miracle:

I had some lengthy chat sessions with Heidi while I was in Bangalore. During one of our discussion, she mentioned to me that I should start writing, because I had good way of narrating incidents. She is responsible for my blogging in a way. The time came when we had to say goodbye to Heidi and David and come to Byndoor. They were supposed to stay for some more days in Bangalore before leaving for NYC. It was sad saying goodbye to them, because it was kind of final good bye for us. I could not imagine her coming back to India again or we going to visit her. Both Heidi and David had impressed me immensely with their knowledge and simplicity. I learned the truth about Alchemy from David and that is one thing I will always remember him by.

Soon after Heidi's visit, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She could not survive it for more than two years. I was glad that she got to meet her dear friend Heidi before saying good bye to all of us. I was devastated when my Mom was diagnosed with BC, as she was the third person from our family with that diagnosis. My sister had lost her battle earlier and I was surviving under fear. I needed support and got in touch with other survivors. Most of the people who connected with me were from USA. By lending and taking support with other survivors, I got very close to few of my friends. The bond we shared grew stronger when I lost my mom in 2006. I needed someone to lean on for support and my friends were there with their weary but strong, supportive shoulders all the time. One fine day I decided that I should meet them. It was a dream, because a trip to USA meant a lot of hurdles and lot of money too. I was not very well off; I lived in a tiny village, in a small home without TV, Washing machine and running water. The only gadget I insisted on having was, computer and internet, for the sake of my sanity.

My friend Paula asked me to believe in miracles. I did and the miracle finally did happen. I managed to get visa and travel to USA with my kids; sacrificing the repairs of my home in the process. We spent the four best months of our lives with our friends there. On our way back Judy had arranged for us to watch the fireworks on 4^th of July from her apartment in Philadelphia. Wow! We had a great view and loved the show.

Finally, before saying bye to USA and coming back to India we spent two days with Heidi and David in NYC. Heidi prepared a wonderful dinner for us before we left. As we sat there eating together, it occurred to us how amazing it was. 30 years ago Heidi had brought her family to India and my Mom had cooked meals for them. No one would have ever imagined in their wildest dream back then, that I would be visiting Heidi in NYC and she would cook for me and my kids. I felt as though my mom was there with me at the moment and was sharing the dinner with all of us. I could almost sense her presence. It was one of the most amazing events of my life which is nothing short of a miracle. Heidi showed me some amazing pictures she had captured of our family in India with her camera. Unfortunately, she had just single copies of them. She promised to send them to me as soon as possible and she kept her word. To this day, I consider her gift to be a final connection I have with my Mom. Thank you Heidi.

Enjoying the wedding

Heidi with Rayyan in Bangalore.

PS: Twilight and NYC aerial view photo source Google images.

Love Overcomes Fear…

2012-01-06T01:32:00.000+05:30

Fear of snakes

Love is a very powerful tool which can conquer, fear, greed and many other such dark lurking in human beings. When the love is of mother to a child, then it has enough strength to bring about a change in a person’s life. Being a Mom of two kids I have my personal experience regarding a mother’s love and I assure you of this.

When I think about situations that have sent down a chill through my spine, there are few incidents that come to my mind all the time. They are unforgettable with passing years.

Fiery Grilled 'Sets You On Fire!' Contest

For the contest ‘Sets You On Fire’ on Indibloger, where I am supposed to describe a fiery event or situation, either real or imaginary; I am going to share one of such events that took place more than a decade ago.

My son Rayyan was in the nursery class of St. Joseph’s Convent, Whitefield. We stayed a little away from school. Rayyan was very enthusiastic walker and would prefer walking long distances every day. He was not one of those kids who cry to be picked up. So it was decided, that I would walk him to school and back again in the evening instead of hiring an auto rickshaw. With the money saved by not paying for the transport, he could buy himself whatever he wanted. It was not much of a distance if we took the short cut to school.

Walking to school was fun

Mud Mounds

We used walk on a path which lay near the present day Arya Lotus. Some big project was going on there, maybe it was the Arya lotus plan itself. Loads of soil had been dumped into the plain land which lay to the right side of the path we used to walk. It all lay there in heaps, forming big mounds with depressed centers which looked like mini volcanoes. There were few kids taking this path, fortunately, all of them enjoyed the walk; watching flowers, butterflies, birds and at times even some small animals like rabbits which made our own journey fun. Off course Rayyan used to enjoy it a lot and it worked as a good exercise and relaxation for me. I was trying to cope with my daughter being diagnosed with atrophy to her brain and this was something I just needed in a day.

Walking in the rain

One day it was raining very heavily when we were walking back home. Rayyan was in the raincoat and I held an umbrella. All the children were having tough time walking as the water kept flowing and it was almost a foot deep at places. The place where heaps of soil had been dumped was a bit low and it was full of water. There was no way a child could cross that place. It also looked a bit scary with all the muddy water flowing through the heaps. The water brought all kind of dirt and sticks with it. Going back to the main road meant a lot of distance; unluckily the rain was also getting heavier. The children were holding their bags higher up to protect their books. I closed my umbrella, and lifted Rayyan up on my hips, against his protests and started walking towards our home in hurried steps. It was quite difficult walking in the pouring rain, not knowing where I was putting my steps. Twice I stumbled on some vines but could regain my balance easily. I started walking more cautiously after that. By then the water had started breaking the mounds and the soil was spreading out. One moment I could feel a cold creeper cling to my leg, and next there were panicked shouts from behind by the group of girls who were walking behind us. I could not make out what they were saying until it dawned suddenly, sending a chill through my spine. They were saying “HAAVU, HAAVU, aunty haavu nodi” meaning ‘snakes, aunty look at the snakes’. I realized that the creeper was in fact a snake clinging to my leg.
I had my child on the hip and I could see few more small snakes floating by quite close to us. I stood still as could I not put my child down or run with the water flowing so forcefully. All I felt at the moment was a gushing concern for my son and children walking back home. My love for my son had overcome my fear. At the moment it also flashed to me that standing still was the best way to avoid snake bite. Rayyan was anxious and kept asking me what was happening. He had spotted two snakes floating in water and wanted to get away from there soon. He had no idea why his mother was standing still watching them. I told him to be calm and wait until the path would clear up. Soon I found the snake slipping away and flowing with the water. May be a snake had made the depressed part of soil mound its nest. There must have been few baby snakes there which had floated down with the breaking of their home. There were helplessly being pulled by the flowing water. In a desperate move the snake had held on my leg. Eeewww!

Soon I realized it was clear for us to walk ahead. The girls had also stood still and were shivering with fear. May be they were non-poisonous and not so dangerous snakes, but the slithering creature never fails to strike terror in heart. I called the girls to come over as the way was now clear and they should clear that area soon enough. I could not just walk away leaving those girls shivering in the rain. One of them had lost her umbrella in the fright which had floated away in the water. I gave her my umbrella as anyway I could not use it myself. It took some cajoling on my part to make them move ahead. I kept watch to see what the water was bringing along with it. The girls were worried about me and kept asking me whether I was sure that the snakes had not bitten me. Rayyan was crying now and it took some funny quips from me to clear the mood which had become darker than the weather we were facing.

We reached home safely without any more weird happenings. Once my child was in safety of his home, I rushed to the bathroom to check out whether there were any bite marks on my legs. I realized that all the dripping liquid from body was not rain water, it contained a lot of sweat too. Fortunately, my leg was clear. If I was alone, I would have done something stupid and landed in trouble that day. It was the love of my child that had made me smart and given me a fierce strength to do the right thing to save the day. Though I was highly worried about my son, I also had some concern for the girls who looked frightened and lost. Even to this day, it sends a chilly shiver down my spine whenever I touch something cold and wet. As for Rayyan lost his fear of snakes when I had calmly explained to the children that day, that snakes usually do not bite unless they are provoked and also most of the snakes are non-poisonous. He had only seen the brave front of me and had missed out my fear. To this day he runs around clicking pictures of snakes which are abundant in our village Byndoor. Eeewwwww!!! Sharing some of his pictures here.

This post has been written as a part of "Sets You On Fire" contest organized by KFC Fiery Grilled on Indiblogger.

Who Is The Real Winner Of The Get Smart Contest?

2012-01-02T16:03:00.000+05:30

I am sure that my Mom is the real winner of the Get smart contest. So many things got connected when I was thinking about her on 1^st of January. In 2006, when the cheering of welcoming the New Year was dying down everywhere, we were shattered with the news of my Mom saying a final goodbye to every one.

People say it gets easier as days go by. I feel it gets tougher. In 2012, the new year day had been a bit more tough on me because of the Get Smart Contest and the Ipad2 I received on 31^st of December. I couldn’t stop thinking about my Mom and how right she was.

As I mentioned in my Get Smart Contest post, I had to use different brand of washing powder after my marriage. My Mom was shocked to see me using a cheap washing powder. She went on to explain to me how my clothes would get spoiled, how surf would save my time and how easy it was to wash with surf. She was kind of brand ambassador for Rin, Pears, Pure Ghee, Oiling hair, apple, and many other such things and surf was one of them. We both held a contest to prove which was a money saver and she won. I had asked her back then, what would I do with the saved time, as I had nothing much to do anyway. She had wisely replied “May be not today, but you will have children and you may take up some activities with the free time you have on your hands. Don’t waste time because I know you have lot of potential in you and you will achieve something big someday”. I did not think much of it back then.

Days went by and as predicted by her I had two wonderful children. With my children entering my life, there was never enough of time on hand. After reaching my forties I felt I should do something, and it was then that the words of my mom came back to me. Now I see a light at the end of the tunnel, which says maybe I can do something big even now. My winning the contest for a product she insisted that I use and receiving the Ipad2 on the eve of New Year (when we lost her) tells me, she is sending a message. The message that asked me to be strong and pursue my dream, and the dream of my parents, who had faith in me. They believed I would achieve something in my life. At times I feel I am struggling to hold on under the pressure and it feels good to give way and release the pressure. This is when I need a pat on my back and I think this is my Mom patting on my back and telling me to be strong.

I may not have been the most loving kid of my mom, but she had some special trust and respect for me. My mom was a nervous person when it came to her children. She always worried they were under fed and they were not safe in the big bad world. When my brother was late by an hour or so, she would literally get sick being worried. I observed that this was missing in my case. My mom remained calm when I was late. It made me feel that she did not care for me. Why would she be worried when my brother or sister was late but not me, if she cared for me as she did for them? One day I picked up this matter with her and asked her whether she did not care for me. She was a smart woman and would have got away with a clever answer even if that was the case. I think she gave me sincere answer when she said, “I have never felt you will get in trouble. You know how to handle yourself better than anyone I have met. Even if someone gets you in trouble, I know you will get out of it easily. I trust you and know for sure you will be safe wherever you are. That is the reason why I never worry about you”. Sometime the doubt lingers whether she cleverly got out of a sticky situation by giving a smart answer. She was that way most of the time.. she did not need a contest to get smart.

It is tough to think that my Mom is a memory for me now. It is tough to think that she is not going to promote Desi Ghee and its benefits, or to think that she will scold us for not oiling our hair. Mom is precious gift God has given everyone and there is no way you will get used to the feeling of losing her. She will always be missed.

I miss my mom.....

Happy New Year 2012

2011-12-30T21:54:00.002+05:30

Happy new year -- 2012

Reflections of 2011

Looking back at the year 2011 and catching up with time spent

I recall how well it began and how smoothly time went

It has been a year when I discovered a new myself

A year when I won and with trophies decorated my shelf

A year with more highs and quite some good winning bets

My wishes being granted, my fears being laid to rest

I found the courage to do something I love and enjoy

Holding on to my dreams and not allowing it to destroy

I welcome the New Year still holding on to past memories

May the New Year bring not gold, diamond or rubies

But the wealth of peace, smile, knowledge and laughter

And bright future for my dear son and my dear daughter
I pass on the good wishes to my loving family and dear friends
May your life be prosperous by the time 2012 ends

By: Farida Rizwan

2011 has been a very lucky year for me. I began the year by receiving a cash prize of 50,000 rupees for the blogging contest organized by Tata Docomo (15,000/- tax was deducted from it :( ). From then on I have been on a lucky spree. I got the Midas touch, minus his misery. I see my son doing well with studies, now that he is doing what he loves to do. My daughter has shown a great amount of improvement too. There is so much happening in life that I have to thank God for. The worst happening have been losing very dear friends to breast cancer.

Hope the new year 2012 improves on the previous and allows me to complete my dream of being a graduate.

I send you all many good wishes for the New Year.

Happy New Year

New years come and new years go,
Pieces of time all in a row.
As we live our life, each second and minute,
We know we’re privileged to have you in it.
Our appreciation never ends
For our greatest blessings: our family and friends.

Happy New Year!

By Joanna Fuchs

Who Should Be Punished? Changing the Rules

2011-12-26T12:48:00.003+05:30

Click on the pic to check out the contest.

I was a fierce person from my childhood, or precisely I was a fiercer person in my childhood then I am now. I have never been chicken heart, but rather like the hot fiery grilled chicken from KFC. As a part of the contest post for the KFC Fiery Grilled,"Sets You On Fire!" contest, where I am asked to describe a fiery event or situation, either real or imaginary; I don’t have to resort to imagination which can never match the fierceness of my real life. I am sharing an incident, from my childhood which looked normal to me back then. Anyway thinking of it now, I feel, I really achieved something to be proud of.

My Mom was an extravagant person. As a result; though my Dad had fairly good income, she could not plan the budget the right way. She ended up leaving out some necessary things not attended to or spent upon. Food was the main agenda on her budget and we could never starve. Once we were stuffed to the full; she would look into other things. If children would make more demands then she would get it for them by hook or crook. Sadly, in all this love and care, the electric bill, our school fees and other such necessary payments got pended. Once, my monthly school tuition fee was not paid for 8 months. Our convent had provision for free education of poor students, but I did not fall under that category. My dad worked in Joy Ice Creams Factory, which was located just opposite my school.

There were few very rich students in our school, as well as poor students who fell under the category of free education. These children had no problem. Then there were the in between students like me, who had to struggle to pay the monthly fees. So, by the end of 8 months time, Mother Superior lost her patience. She called upon the class teachers to send all the students who had not paid their fees to be made to kneel down near her office until she comes over there to punish them. There were 19 students in all, two among them being me and my sister.

I always enjoyed something different from routine life. Initially it felt fun being led out of class room and being made to kneel down near the office. I was small and this did not mean an insult at that stage. Those feelings come over only when we are adolescents. Within a few minutes my knee started to hurt very badly. It was fun no more. In no time my mind started to wonder why I had to suffer the pain. What wrong had I done? I was a studious student in lower primary school, who did all the work allocated to me. I could not kneel down for long and so I stood up.

Everyone gave me the look described by Charles Dickens when Oliver asked for more porridge. No one had ever gone against the orders given by the school so far. My sister gave me ‘the look’ and indicated I kneel down quickly before anyone saw me. I shook my head and refused. All students were aghast. I saw a teacher rushing towards us. Mother Superior was walking from the convent house with a big cane. There was fear in me but I was not going to surrender to fear. I knew deep in my heart that I was right and I did not deserve the punishment. The teacher lifted up the stick and whispered harshly for me to kneel down before Mother Superior came.

I replied, “Miss, what wrong have I done?”

The teacher replied angrily. “You have not paid fees for past eight months”.

I did not understand how this was my fault. So I replied again, “My parents haven’t given me the fees, how should I pay it?”

The teacher was confused. She was losing her temper too. She hit me on the back and said, “I don’t know about it. You should pay the fees if you are to study here. Now kneel down”.

I was angry that she hit me. Now I replied loudly, “I will not kneel down. My knee hurts and I don’t like pain”.

By then the three nuns; Sister Claudia, Sister Lawrence and Sister Fatima had reached over to the place. They were not used to arguments and were kind of shocked to see a little girl answering back. Sister Fatima was the kindest one and Mother superior Claudia was the toughest.

Sister Claudia: What is going on? What is the problem with you girl. Aaahhh it is you Farila! Now whose hair are we going to pull?

Her first encounter with me had been a tough one too. I had insisted that she pull the hair of the boy who had pulled my hair and in the process had praised him highly without realizing it.

I was quite embarrassed with the mention of the incident, but nevertheless, I wasn’t going to back up now.

Me: I am being punished for no fault of mine. I do my homework regularly, take part in activities, come to school on time and follow all the rules. Why am I being punished?

Sister Claudia: Girl, you have not paid the fees.

Me: Not me Ma’am, it is the fault of my parents. If you punish me they will not pay the fees. The stones are pricking my knee, not theirs. Make them kneel here ma’am because it is their fault. When their knees will hurt, they will learn their lessons. Beating me or making me kneel down is not going to change things.

(off course the above conversation happened in much simpler and broken English which I cannot repeat exactly because I have lost touch with that language).

The teacher lifted her stick once again as she was very upset, that I was arguing with mother superior. Fortunately, Sister Fatima intervened and took my side. She said there was a point in what I was saying. It was actually wrong to punish children for no fault of theirs. Sister Lawrence looked confused, though she agreed with Sister Fatima, she said that something had to be done about children not paying the fees. The three nuns stood there and had a small discussion which we could not hear. I did not look at my sister as I could almost feel her stare piercing my skin. Finally the nuns ended their discussion. They decided the children should be sent back home and not permitted to attend classes until the fees was cleared.

It all happened there and then. The rule of punishing the students for not paying the fees was changed. Mother Superior asked all of us to pick up our bags and go to our classes. She said we will not be allowed to attend classes if we did not bring our fees the next day. That did not go down smoothly with me. So I tried to talk to her again.

Me: But Ma’am, I want to study and I don’t want to miss my classes.

Sister Claudia: Oh no! Not again Farila. You have to learn to end things. This is final. One more word from you, I will make you kneel down and hold you down there by myself.

Now I was scared and shut my mouth. Inside my heart was telling me that it was wrong to stop a good student from attending classes for their parents fault but I did not dare to argue anymore.

I have great respect for my teachers who had patience to look and listen to what a poor girl was saying. Back then it did not mean much to me, but today I think of them with great respect, hold them very high in my thoughts and look up to them for inspiration.

Later in life when I saw the children (not my son) being beaten for not paying the fees in my son’s school, I could not bear but intervene. The H.M. there said the owners have made the rule and she is helpless. I pursued the matter for quite some time but did not see the change. That shows the greatness of my own teachers.

This was neither the first not the last fiery incident of my life. Beginning from proposing to a guy boldly, asking the truth about swearing in the name of Allah, to fighting cancer, my fiery tongue and wits have not only got me out of sticky situations, they have landed me in there too. This cannot be avoided as my nature is fierce, and, I love giving back witty answers. There are not many regrets that I have left behind as a residue of the outcome. Therefore, I am fine with ‘ME’.

The fire filled answers are never pre-planned. They just pop into my mind spontaneously; I don’t have any preparations to be made, efforts to put it out or push myself to say something out loudly. That’s me without make up or pretentions. Some appreciate this and some do not. Nevertheless, I cannot do anything about the way I am created. It was not in my hands you see ;). God could have given me some more attention or my Mom and Dad shouldn’t have married at all. Now the people around me, who are bound to listen to me, have the option of either loving, hating or being neutral to me. Change is not possible.
In my childhood everyone had so much of hopes pinned on their various skills through which they yearned to change me into a golden child. Not the metal one, the character one. I need not tell you that, the project was a huge failure which is proved through my Autobiography; a process of Discovering Myself.
http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=102687

Some More of Rayyan's Childhood Art

2011-12-22T09:58:00.001+05:30

Instead of answering the following questions I had given him, Rayyan ended up painting this picture

Surfing through the old pages I felt I should share some more of Rayyan's childhood art on my blog, especially after writing the previous post. He would spend a lot of time creating pictures or colors. It is sad that some of his art was lost when I shifted to Byndoor. There is so much of emotions hidden behind the art of every child. We need to have that special vision to look through them.

After watching a cooking competition

After his first visit to Lalbagh

His choice was to draw -- always.

When I was in being operated upon for Breast cancer, Rayyan sat down creating this art. Kind of brings tears to eyes.

Another of those art which came out during my Cancer treatment

After first Independence day function

The day I came back home from surgery. You can see me up on the left side corner holding Rayyan's hand.

The bad chemotherapy day had everyone tensed. Rayyan came up with this art.

I remember the day he painted this. It was when I was done with chemotherapy and happily declared so.

After watching a magic show

After playing hide and seek

After his first Christmas Party

After being done crying watching the movie 'Titanic'

On his visit to Byndoor

After visiting a jail

Just a page from his notebook

After our first bonfire

Diwali

A visit to exhibition

We came across film shooting on our way home .. Rayyan's depiction of the shooting.

Funworld

These was what he called thoughts...

The story behind my profile picture………….

2011-12-16T19:08:00.000+05:30

The Little Animator

Many people have asked me about my profile picture. Some have assumed that it is one of those software applications which have sketched it out for me. In fact, this is the birthday present from my son Rayyan, which is the best gift I have received from someone. This picture is very close to my heart and it is going to be my profile picture on bloggers, facebook, twitter, Indiblogger and other sites until he comes up with something better for me.

Rayyan has been interested in sketching and drawing since his childhood. He sketched me when he was three or four years old.

He loved arts and wanted to make a career out of it. But knowing our education system, it is easy to guess it was not easy. People kept holding him back, discouraging him that this was not possible. Everyone said it is good for hobby, but not for profession. Though as a mother I supported him, I too made a lot of wrong decisions along with him and other people who had a say in our lives. Finally he is now doing Animation Engineering course in Arena, Bangalore. He sounds so happy with what he is doing even though he has to stay away from home.

Within weeks he surprised me with his work and I have been a proud Mom. He secretly sketched this photo and sent it to me on my birthday. It was a lovely present and I love it so much. Thank you so much Rayyan. Wish you all best in animation adventure…..

A bloggers award after a long long time….

2011-12-09T09:42:00.001+05:30

Two years ago there were many bloggers who would create awards and pass it on to other writers of their choice so that the connection would grow. I haven’t come across any blog for a long time. It was surprising to find one of Vidya’s blog. She is an amazing writer and great professional blogger and I am sure many of you who are reading this will know her. Vidya is the only blogger who I have met personally. So, she has a special place in my bloggers list.

Here is the wonderful award…

“Liebster” = “beloved” or “favorite” in German. Gives me a very warm, fuzzy feeling.

And now, I get to nominate five bloggers I consider “ Liebster” to me. This is almost impossible because it is virtually impossible for me to choose just five but rules are rules and I will follow them. This does not mean these are the only blogs I consider my favourite but they are among my favourite blogs.

Arti – I never believed I would be hooked to reading about religious places until I visited her My Yatra Diary..Her complete and extensive details with delightful photographs, will not only entertain the readers but will also help them plan a trip.

Joshi Daniel : Anyone interested in good photography should not miss out on this site which is the best I have come across. The photographs are amazing. I am not sure about the passing of the awards over there but sure would like to mention it over here

Ege Denne: Though hailing from Norway, this blogger makes me feel as though I pass by home every day and wave a “HI” for her

Saru Singhal : Great poetry in simple words for everyone to understand and feel. No wonder her words has a big fan following

Sujatha Satya : Her conversations are very interesting and thought provoking. This is what she says about her blog, “I got into blogging when i asked myself "Can I do it?". The answer was "Lemme try n find out!". So here I am - Putting pen to paper.Thinking out loud. Will go as far as it takes me.Come along :))”.

It is quite tough to end this list and not mention another 100 bloggers but I am going to do it ..

I would be great if you accept this award. And to keep the happiness flowing, you might like to do the following; Not that I’ll haunt you if you don’t – but still. I think you’ll enjoy doing it. Just sayin’

1. Copy and paste the award on your blog. (Right click and “save image as”)

2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you, (Thank you Vidya)

3. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

4. Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.

Thank you, Vidya for this lovely award. I treasure it.

Feeling honored

Farida Rizwan

http://www.vidyasury.com/

International Day of Persons with Disabilities, 3 December

2011-12-02T19:01:00.001+05:30

Theme for 2011: “Together for a better world for all: Including persons with disabilities in development”

Farheena is off to Udupi today to participate in International Day of Persons with Disabilities. She is extremely excited and happy to off on her own with her teachers and classmates. The last time she had been there, she brought back home two prizes about which she is very proud. I would be so glad to accompany her and encourage all the participants, but at times she needs to be on her own and she feels good about it too.

A tired but very happy Farheena with her prize

Man is adventurous by nature. He hates monotonous life. A challenge is always welcome and if the challenge does not come to him he goes in search of it in the name of sports, investigation, discovery etc. But when the challenge is the form disability where a person is not able to perform everyday tasks easily, then it is not accepted as adventurous. People always have trouble responding in a right way to people who are differently able.

Why should a person be called disabled or abnormal just because one (or more) vital parts of body aren’t functioning to the maximum? The question will not have an answer ever. I feel the word different or special is more suited in this situation. I haven’t come across a person who will fit perfectly into the category ‘Normal Person’. Before finding a perfect normal person I cannot say a certain person is not normal.

It is same with the term handicapped. Who is without any handicap? Who can proudly thump his/her chest and declare ‘I have no handicap at all?’ Most probably every person is handicapped in one or other way, but there is no way you can point out that particular handicap in a person clearly. Pedophiles, rapists, misers, murderers, sadists are all living with a handicap, yet not often do they get the branded. Some may just get away with it forever. Nevertheless, a certain person is branded handicapped just because you can point out exactly where the problem is. Nowadays the term special is used which makes it better.

Helen Keller is an inspiration to many people who are standing in the group of normal. Though born with multiple disabilities she earned the Bachelor of Arts degree and became the first deaf and blind person to do so. Anne Sullivan was her teacher who broke her isolation and found a way out for her to communicate. She was the miracle worker and Keller worked miracles herself.

Albert Einstein is the greatest scientist of the twentieth century and notable physicist of all time. He was a German-born theoretical physicist who developed the theory of general relativity, affecting a revolution in physics. For this achievement, Einstein is often regarded as the father of modern physics and one of the most prolific intellects in human history. Not many people know that he had learning disability in his childhood. He started talking when he was three and reading when he was eight. It is amazing that he went to win noble prize for his contribution to the Physics.

If a blind person who has no vision (Am I right in saying so?) has developed an alternative sense to replace the void created by lack of sight, I feel he should not be labeled disabled person but a highly able person. He is viewing something without the help of eyes. His way of seeing an object would be touch, sound etc. We do have the senses what he has, but we do not use them just because we have eyes. How many other senses and abilities are being lost in us just because we have the privileges? As the chapters of my life unfold and I am bringing up a special needs child I realize how spoilt we are. How we take for granted sight, speech, hearing etc. Time for me to wake up and be grateful to God, and show my gratitude in accepting those who are different from me gracefully.

United Nations Enable

United Nations Enable is the official website of the Secretariat for the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (SCRPD) in the Department of Economic and Social Affairs (DESA) at the United Nations Secretariat. The website provides public information on topics related to disability and the work of the United Nations for persons with disabilities.

How We React?

2011-12-01T13:03:00.001+05:30

When surfing through the Indiblogger forum threads, I was surprised to see some bloggers considering my blog as inspiration. These were the people who have put up wonderful blogs themselves and are very popular in the forum. I am not very active on forum as I do not get to surf net too often between my housework and other commitments (sadly not all of them are smart).

I was talking to friend and mentioned to her how people consider my surviving cancer or bringing up a special needs daughter to be inspirational for them. What have ‘I’ actually done? Nothing much. I had to fight cancer to survive, and I did. I could not give up on my daughter, so I love and care for her like any mother would. What is inspirational about me? I was a person who gave up on education when I could have achieved so much. I did not pursue a career with gusto. I was kind of failure in life.

What my friend said rang a bell in my mind. She said what happened to me was just life and how I handled it, or precisely reacted to it was inspiration. It was not letting things pull me down but use it as a spring board to soar higher than I would have in normal situations.

Thinking back on her words I started analyzing in my mind how our reactions make difference to our lives. How our attitudes changes a situation itself. Soon I found myself writing a blog about it. LOL.

How we react to a situation is very important to the outcome of situation. When we talk about domestic violence, dowry deaths and other social evils we tend to ignore the fact that proper reaction from the victim can change the situation to some extent. The reaction could be one of the brave and strong, or witty and smart.

People who learn to cope and handle a situation properly have discovered a total new way of life. Everything about our lives is not in our control. Sometimes shit happens and we cannot do anything about it. In my family, four members were affected by cancer. We all reacted in a different way to it and we all had different outcomes greatly influenced by our reactions.

It is not only in traumatic situations that our reactions affect the outcome. Take for example a situation where a student may find a very confusing and tough question paper which may not fetch good marks; even after all the hard work s/he has put into the subject. If the student becomes nervous and tensed, s/he may end scoring even less marks which can be avoided if s/he can keep cool and access the paper properly. Similarly when we have to wait for a bus, train or a person; we find some people getting fidgety and impatient, whereas some try to make new friends or catch up with a book.

Major part of our happiness depends on how we react to life. Let us keep our reaction in our control because most of the things happening around us are beyond our control and reach.

We have to be extra cautious when we are bringing up our children. They are going to break some precious things, soil their expensive clothes or flunk in the exams. Punishing and cursing will not change the situation but will have bad emotional effect on the psychology of the children. If the kids are teens, then this may lead to verbal war with bad consequences. The situation or result never changes but the way you go through your day with a bad mood has effect on other work activities you do through the day.

For example imagine this situation.

A working wife is busy getting ready for work and preparing breakfast for the family. By mistake she adds more salt to the dish. If the husband calls her a bad cook and pushes away the plate, everything will wrong from there on. The wife will try to defend herself by asking angrily why she has to do everything. They will end up accusing each other and may carry anger against each other for the whole day. With a bad mood they may end up making mistakes in the office and having rough time with the colleagues. These tiffs at times become bricks, which slowly build a wall between two people.

If the husband would wait for the wife to have her breakfast, then she is surely bound to realize her mistake and say sorry about what happened. He can say kind words like “I understand you have so much on your hands early in the morning. Mistakes are bound to happen. Don’t fret about it; we can manage with this for today. It is no big deal”. May be he will be lucky to get something else for breakfast which is never going to happen when he accuses her. A proper reaction to such a situation will help in development of understanding between the partners and bonds them together with stronger love. These are the situations which weave the rope of love to bind two people together forever in their lives.

The above example will work in every situation we come across in our life. People passing negative comments on our achievements, accusing us of wrong doing, or stooping down to throw verbal abuses at us can make us feel sad only if we allow it to make us sad. When the water falls down on mud, it soaks it in and becomes wet, but the stone will not allow the same water to affect it any way. We have to become tough like stones and not allow such negativity to soak into us.

At times a bad or wrong reaction can cost us a dear friend, our job, our marks or our health. Blood pressure, depression and stress are highly related to how we react to a situation in our lives.

So simple is this solution yet it is so elusive. Time and again we react badly to a situation and ruin our lives. I am learning my lessons and trying hard to be in control of what is happening to ‘ME’ if not what is happening around me.

Here I would want to share one of my favorite story(Sam Levenson’s) with you……..

A poor family had been trying to marry off its only daughter for years. Finally, a very wealthy young man became interested in her.

The girl’s mother, being an excellent cook, decided to deliver the coup de grace by inviting the boy and his parents to a home-cooked dinner. They were of course led to believe that the young lady was doing the cooking. The mother strained the budget and purchased a beautiful turkey with all the trimmings. She outdid herself in preparing the bird. It looked almost too good to eat.

The big event arrived, and it was time for the turkey. One could almost hear a drum roll as the daughter made her entrance from the kitchen into the dining room, carrying the beautiful and succulent turkey on a tray.

As she stepped from the kitchen, her heel caught, she tripped, and the turkey flew off the tray skidding and rolling across the dining room floor into a corner of the room. There was an explosion of embarrassed silence. The girl’s mother saw the ruination of all their plans right then and there. She was backed into the corner just as the turkey was.

She looked up the ceiling for a moment, as if praying for assistance from the Almighty. She must have gotten it, for her face lit up as she turned to her stunned offspring and said, “That’s all right, my dear, just take that bird back to the kitchen and bring out the other one!”

I Am A Stone

2011-11-23T17:10:00.001+05:30

I Am A Stone

I am not wax

That can be moulded with little heat

I am not even the metal

That changes to few beats

I am the Stone.. ‘YOU’ cannot change me

I change with time, slowly, naturally

If you try to speed up my change

You will end up breaking me

Even great sculptors that change

The simple stone into great art

Have chipped bits off it

To make it what they think is perfect

Similarly a change in me means

You chip off bits of me

Taking away something that is a part of me

To make me what you want me to be

I may become a piece of art

But then I have lost something that was ‘ME’

By:

Farida Rizwan

The Flight Of a Survivor

2011-11-22T00:21:00.000+05:30

PS: I got this in a forward mail and would like to share it with my blog readers. Though the story is not based on facts it makes a good inspirational story. I can relate to this through the trauma of Chemotherapy.

An Eagle's life ... !!!

Many times ,in order to survive...we have to start to change our ways...we sometimes need to get rid of the negative memories, habits ,rituals and other past traditions and move forward. Only freed from past burdens, can we take advantage of the present. Eagle is a good example of it....

The eagle has the longest life-span among its species

It can live up to 70 years

But to reach this age, the eagle must make a hard decision in its' 40's

when, its' long and flexible talons can no longer grab prey

Its long and sharp beak bends with age

Its aging and heavy wings, due to their thick feathers, become stuck to its' chest and making it difficult for it to soar higher in flight or stay longer in flight

Then, the eagle is left with only two options: die or go through a painful process of change which can lasts to upto 150 days.

The process requires that the eagle fly to a mountain top and sit on its' nest

There the eagle knocks its' beak against a rock until it plucks it out.

After plucking it out, the eagle will wait for a new beak to grow back and then it will pluck out its' talons.

When its' new talons grow back, the eagle starts plucking its' ageing feathers

And after five months, the eagle takes its' famous flight of rebirth and lives for ...

30 more years!

(Creator of the email unknown).

Like the eagle in this story, when a person goes through severe traumatic situations like cancer, they have to make the tough decision. You lose your hair, you go through severe physical discomfort, give up a body part, get pricked with needles but then you get few more years to fly high in the sky. I have been blessed with fifteen years of survival after torture of treatment and feel grateful to everyone who is responsible for my presence here today. Now I yearn to fly high and reach those skies which I have never touched earlier................

Finally Brave Enough to Confess I Would Love to Spend Some Time on Myself

2011-11-15T17:39:00.003+05:30

There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: TIME. ~Napoleon I, Maxims, 1815’

The question “If you had two extra hours in a day, how would you spend it?” is very tempting for most of the people. Often, we feel it would be great to have those extra hours to do something close to our hearts. Social commitments and our responsibilities, steal our time without even letting us realize it. When we do something we love and enjoy the most, ignoring what we should actually do, then the feeling of guilt starts gnawing at our happiness.

People often feel they could do much if they had some extra hours in a day. May be because it is extra time we get, the guilt could be locked away when we do something we enjoy. But that is not possible. Our days are made of 24 hours and that is fixed. If we need some extra time to pursue a hobby, passion or spend quality time with our family and friends, the only way out is to stop wasting time. Time is precious. There are lots of inspirational stories written about how precious time is. One of them goes as the follows. A billionaire was rumored to be earning 1 million dollars every second. Once a person asked the billionaire “Is it true that you earn 1 million dollars every second?” The billionaire replied, “Let’s forget how much I earn. You can earn one million dollars every second if you can add a second to my 24 hours”. Everyone knows it is impossible to add even a second to the 24 hours we get every day. But often, we spend so much of time sleeping, lazing around or doing unnecessary chores.

I am no different. I have spent nearly 4,00,000 hours in my lifetime. How many of those hours have been spent fruitfully? How many hours have I truly enjoyed to the fullest? How many of those hours were filled with ‘WOW!’ moments? I cannot count much of positively spent hours in those 4,00,000 hours of time I have spent.

After my marriage, most of my time was spent learning simple skills that I had ignored all my life. I was an expert in cooking special dishes like puddings, cakes, halwas etc, but I did not know the common everyday cooking which was always done by my Mom. Another hurdle was the change in environment. I had grown up in Bangalore, but after marriage had to shift to Byndoor; which is a small coastal village and quite different in many ways. I had to adapt to new food, clothing and way of living.

Time was spent drawing water from well, sweeping, mopping, learning to cook sea food, washing clothes along with other tedious household chores which made me unhappy. My Mom always preferred particular brand of bath soaps, detergent powder, cooking oil, hair oil, shampoo, rice and many other products which had become a part of my life. Using local 555 bar soap with some kind of local light brown washing powder did not go down well with me. I would waste so much of time scrubbing the dishes and clothes. The cement floor also required lots of mopping. Change is not easy in an Indian village but then changing me was not easy either. One fine day I had to put my foot down and state that I will not compromise on the quality of products for the sake of price. Anyway it did not save much, because, you ended up using more of those products to clean up clothes and dishes. Also, eating unhealthy food makes you spend on doctor's bills and medicines which at times eats up more than you have saved. So, I was back with my preferred brands, but still had to do all the chores manually.

My childhood was spent trying to prove myself to my family in particular and the world in general. I wanted to be a topper in studies, sports and many other things, so that the handicapped girl tag would not carry on in my life. Due to my efforts I was successful, and no one thinks of me as a handicapped person anymore; but, at this stage of life I feel it would not hurt me if they did. All the fun was lost in trying to achieve something which I do not treasure anymore.
My teen years were spent working hard on my studies, improving my behavior and trying to please my parents. I wanted to be an ideal daughter. So, I ended up being married and giving up studies for which I had worked so hard all my life. It was all confusing and I did not know what I was doing. My teens years were something where I had little control over the changes happening in my life. By the time I could think clearly and see the results, I sadly realized that all those hours of studying I did in my childhood and teen years were for nothing. It will not bear fruit, but then learning has never been wasted. Knowledge is wealth I can treasure forever.

Buying a washing machine was easy but installing one took lot of changes to the house. We did not have overhead tank or running water so the washing machine had to wait till now. Just this October did I manage to finally buy a washing machine (Whirlpool, ACE) Whew!

For the past 22 years I have spent a lot of time doing unnecessary household chores about which I am not happy. I wish I could have spent that time doing something worthwhile. I don't mean to say that caring for my family was not my duty or worthwhile. but then doing things the tough way and wasting precious time is what I regret.

Lego toys were big fun

I have spent a lot of happy time with my kids. Those memories will be treasured forever in my mind. We have gone for long walks together, done lots of painting, enjoyed different games and have shared amazing stress free time together. Though being different is difficult, I cannot say I have been unhappy with my kids.
I cannot say the same about my husband though. He works in gulf and we do not get to spend much time together. After 22 years of married life, may be I am more comfortable with this life-style and do not yearn for a change anymore. I don't yearn for some exclusive time with him at this stage of my life. I did when I was younger and may be I will feel it when I am older.

After all the useless talk I still have the question from Surf excel matic, “If you had two extra hours in a day, how would you spend it?” unanswered.

It is very tempting to say I would give extra care to my special needs daughter and teach her new words and activities. It is also very tempting to say I would love to spend some quality time with my husband or son. But those tempting sentences would not be true. Those would be the ideal words and sentences everyone expects to hear from me. Those would be the words I say because everyone expects me to say them and feel happy when I do what they expect me to do.
When I look back on the path I have treaded in my life, I sadly find that ‘I’ have been the person who has got least attention, love, pampering and priority in my life. Though I spend all the 24 hours a day with myself, I have failed to care for my own feelings and emotions.

If I could get two extra hours now or if have some hours left in my life at the stage when I find myself starting the last part of Life’s journey, I would love to spend it on myself selfishly. I would read all those books I have been putting off, I would watch my favourite movies all over again without being interrupted, I would play games without struggling to win them, cook food I enjoy, pamper myself with love and attention, AND I would continue my studies again. I have never regretted anything as much in my life as I have on giving up my studies. I always aspired to be an astrophysicist or psychologist. Astrophysics is out of my reach now but Psychology still holds hope. I have already finished two years of my graduation and scored quite impressive marks in psychology even without two extra hours a day. My aim is to do PhD in psychology and do researches about the way people feel when they go through cancer. Cancer has affected my life in a big way. Going through breast cancer at the age of 29 was not a big deal for me when compared to how I felt losing my sister, Mom and friends to cancer. Cancer changes people completely and they emerge something different from the experience. For past fifteen years after my cancer experience, I have counseled and met many survivors and learned a lot about surviving cancer. I would like to further study the feelings and experiences of people who have been through the ordeal. May be I can do something about the way people can deal with cancer. Not only the survivors but even the family of the people who go through cancer need emotional support and help. My own experience will add to my learning experience. These are the things I want to do for myself with or without the extra two hours I may get in a day.
I am brave enough to finally go against what everyone expects me say and say what my heart feels at this moment. The two hours I get will sure be the exclusive ‘ME’ time. I feel I have done justice to others but not to myself. So 'NOW' it is time to do something for myself and feel "There, I have done something I cherish in my life".

Another good story about time which I would love to share:

Imagine you had an account in bank. Each morning your bank would deposit ₹86,400 in your private account for you to use it freely. However, everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.
You may not simply transfer money into some other account. You may only spend it.
Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that day.

What would you do in such event?
You would off course try to spend every rupee wisely to benefit yourself and people around you.
Each of us is in possession of such a magical account in bank though we can't seem to see it.
The bank is our life and the account is of time!

Each morning we receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life, and when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us. What we haven't lived up that day is forever lost. Yesterday is gone forever.

Each morning the account is updated with new time, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time.... without warning. Death is always lurking around the corner.

So, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?

Time is worth so much more than the same amount in rupees.
Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!

When I used to wash my clothes manually, surf excel blue has been a good partner for me. I wonder what to with those stack of buckets I have collected over the time ;)

The Journey of a Blogger

2011-11-13T17:30:00.001+05:30

I was born a writer. I always wanted to pen down my feelings and thoughts. It took me long time to get enough courage to share it with people. Usually I wrote for myself and kept my work hidden from everyone.

Few of my friends had account on yahoo 360 [Wiki says : Yahoo! 360° was a social networking and personal communication portal operated by Yahoo!made available in 2005. It enabled users to create personal web sites, share photos from Yahoo! Photos, maintain blogs and lists, create and share a public profile and see which friends are currently online. 360° also featured a 'friends updates' section, under which each friend's latest update was summarized (e.g. blog posts, updated lists or newly shared photos). This service was never officially launched; Yahoo! prematurely stopped developing this service in 2008].

In 2006 I was tempted to start an account of my own to share few of the articles, stories and quotes I had collected overtime. Slowly I started to share my own personal experiences of going through cancer, losing my sister or bringing up my kids. The response and understanding among the readers was very encouraging. Unfortunately yahoo 360 stopped and I forgot blogging. One fine day one of my friend sent me a link to Jeff’s blog. He had lost an amazing friend Jill to cancer and adopted her daughter Katie. It was a very sad situation. Being introduced to blog again was tempting for me to start over from where I had left on Yahoo 360. I began with a blog on my friend Hema and what I had learnt from her. With the blog I decided to name my site, chapters from my life as they were the chapters from which I was learning my lessons. The anonymous author of my life story is amazing. He has made these chapters a big roller coaster ride for me. Whew!

It was tough in the beginning. I had no one to share my blog with and there were no comments to respond to. I was not very much interested in writing blogs either because there was nothing to motivate me. One fine day a thought came into my mind. My blog was going to be there for children and grandchildren to know me. It would be there for anyone who would be interested in knowing my life events. It was going to be preserved that way. Someday, when I am gone and my son is missing me, he will find his Maa in her words. So it will be for my family and friends. That thought motivated me to keep blogging and writing. Slowly traffic went on increasing and I found fellow bloggers who were very interesting and in return I had the pleasure of interacting with them on my blog. Some of the bloggers with whom I connected earlier have stopped blogging now. But blogging has continued.

The big difference to my blogging life happened when I got introduced to bloggers platform like Indiblogger and blogadda. Indiblogger has been a great inspiration for me with their wonderful site and contests. Indibloggers have been constant visitors to my blog page and left behind lots of interactive comments. Blogging has never been same again after joining indibloggers. My earlier blog readers were non-Indians but my introduction to Indiblogger gave my blog lot of Indian viewership. On average Indiblogger is source for 25%-35% of my blog traffic. Winning contests on Indibloggers has zipped lips of people who always accused me wasting my time on blogs instead of doing something fruitful. I can never thank indiblogger and fellow indibloggers enough for the support they have shown for me on the site. For a woman hailing from a small coastal village; indiblogger has been a great boost to the confidence. Every contest I won has made an impact on my life. The first prize of ₹35,000 (after tax deduction) from the Tata Docomo 3G life contest has helped me in the time of my son’s admission in Arena Animation. I could also gift him the laptop from Dell which I won in Intel Appups contest (I love apps♥) to keep in touch with me through internet when he is studying away in Bengaluru. It is always a great pleasure to look into my own life and see how the contest topic touches me personally. The contest posts are again nothing but the chapters taken from my life itself.

Blogging has given me great insight into my life. It has helped me sit down calmly and do introspection of myself and understand what I really need. I may not have shared many of the thoughts that flow through my mind when I sit down to write a blog, because mind travels much faster than what my fingers can type. The thoughts born out for the sake of writing a blog have changed my attitude towards life, family and world itself. My journey through the chapters of my blogging life has been fruitful and I feel I have been very well rewarded for every minute I have spent reading and writing blogs.

Blog Adda Tangy Tuesday Picks

Interview on Blogadda

Winner - Good over bad contest

Indiblogger Cleartrip contest

Sorry Plight of Almighty.. Tangy Tuesday Picks

Discover the Magic of Shopping with QVENDO!

2011-11-10T12:10:00.007+05:30

Discovering the exclusive the invitation-only Private Shopping Club QVENDO has been an amazing experience for mer. Sorry to say that my financial situation at the moment has not allowed me to shop anything, but the temptations have been lingering in my mind.

Every Mom feels her kids are unique and she yearns to give them things which are exclusive for them. I feel my kids ( two youngsters: daughter 16 and son 20) deserve the best and the products on QVENDO are something that I wish I could buy for them. Last time when I wrote the contest post for QVENDO, I did run amok with my wish list of things. I could not keep away from the site so have been lingering there looking at the products. Recently the site has been updated and there were few amazing products on the catalogue which caught my attention. So, without adding much to the already big list, I decided to create a sensible wish list with the products available now, so that I could sometime actually buy them for my children without having to wait for the lottery.

I would love to hear from my readers about their own wishlist. This link would help you to create one of your own http://qvendo.com/vip/indianbloggers. This is a VIP link for the Indibloggers. Wow!

Here is my reality Wish List for my family which is mostly for my youngsters.

The Pink Poodle Bag German Couture-Tuning-Krefeld-Blue purse will go well with most of the dresses my daughter and I wear. The colors are cool are soft on the eyes too. That makes place on my reality wish list.

Pink Poodle Bag Celebrity-Challenge-Reese-Ocean

If not I would go this celebrity purse especially for my daughter. She would love to carry this around proudly.

Pink Poodle Bag Funkyline-Jungle-Tuesday-Green

This Tiger skin pattern has always caught my fancy, so this is something I would love to buy for myself. This attractive purse also selfishly enters my wish list. Its vibrant colors would go well with the dark and grand dresses and saris I wear for special occasions.

The vibrant green color would make any young face look prettier. So this ear rings makes place in my wish list for my daughter. She has broad round face and big hangings always looks good on her.

This beautiful jewelry from Replay are perfect match for the casual wear my daughter loves to dress up in.

The Luis Trenker Shirt along with the True Religion Jeans is something every teen would fall in love with. I think the would be animator would look great in this artistic pair. He could also wear this bracelet and one of the caps to enhance his style further.

These shirts from Luis Trenkers are something I would love to present to my son . It will be good on him in the cool winters in Bangalore. They are styled in a way that he can wear them to his college.

So I have been able to put an hold on my wishes and run amok among the products this time. As my daughter is loving her salwar suits, I have avoided adding clothes for her. I feel so proud of myself.

My previous post on QVENDO will give you a look into the style of my youngsters. Click HERE to check out my post.

Finally there is something I cannot resist adding to the wishlist.

You cannot deny any youngster the pleasure of wearing a Jeans bracelet

The latest Hunters collection is breathtaking .......................

DUMBFOUNDED

2011-11-07T17:49:00.001+05:30

I feel sad and lonely

DUMBFOUNDED

I can’t speak now, though I try

If I try harder, I will have to cry

Do not assume I am rude, don’t say I am bad

It is just in my heart I feel very sad

My dreams are not just broken. Look on!

They are dead and completely gone

I can’t face the picture of real you

Oh! This horror cannot be true

The shock is severe and I can’t complain

With pursed lips I am bearing all the pain

Please Oh! Please, don’t ask me ‘why?’

In answer I may just cry

With the pain I am dumbfounded

My silence doesn’t mean I am proud

I feel as though I am chased and hounded

By a pain filled dark cloud………..

Words are lost when there is pain in heart
Emotions run rampant and tear it apart
When I am silent it does not mean I am hard
It is just the way I behave, when I am sad

By :

Farida Rizwan

Love of Locks V/S Locks of Love

2011-11-01T16:53:00.002+05:30

Love is a two way street: Love your hair and it loves you back!

Art by Farheena

With the launch of the new Dove Nourishing Oil Care Range, Dove and IndiBlogger present the “Love your Hair and it loves you back” blogger contest and I cannot skip writing about my special needs daughter Farheena when it comes to loving the locks.

She loves her long hair with her whole heart. All of the pictures she draws usually have people with long plaits. She loves to decorate it with flowers too, unlike me. In return her hair loves her back. Other than the occasional dandruff, she faces no threats or problems from her hair. It grows fast, is thick and very smooth to feel. The knots in her long her open up quite easily; though, she makes a lot of fuss about it when I am trying to comb her hair. In her younger days, my family loved to give her different hairstyles with short hair. At the age of 9 she decided she wanted to grow her hair and have her hair flow long enough to reach her waist. I had to give in to her wishes and it was easy to give in, because I myself wanted her to have long plaits.

Contrary to the city life, our lazy village life doesn’t allow me get professional pampering for her hair. All she gets is the Maa’s oil massage, shampooing and brushing. But that was enough to have her hair on a growing spree.

Everything changed when I decided to visit USA and meet my friends over there. My friend Paula was totally smitten by Farheena’s hair. She loved to comb and decorate it in various styles. She was surprised to know that Farheena had never received any special treatment for her hair. So off she took her to Marie (a very good friend and Paula’s hair stylist) to show off Farheena’s lovely hair to to her. Marie in her turn ohhhed and wowed over it. Marie loved pampering Farheena’s hair and gave her an amazing new look. Farheena’s joy knew no bounds that day.

We visited Marie once again after a few months and Marie enjoyed giving Farheena, who now a bit longer hair, a great look once again. All the time when Marie was working with Farheena’s hair, she was telling us about the Locks of Love, which is non-profit charity organization in USA. Locks of love accepts donations of human hair to make wigs for needy children who have lost their hair due to some medical condition.

Farheena is a spontaneous person and once she makes her spontaneous decision she is kind of ‘Salman Khan’ person from the film Wanted. She herself cannot change the decision because it is already done and is in the past. Farheena told me that she would love to donate her hair to locks of love that day, there and then. Paula tried to dissuade her but nothing worked. We needed the minimum of 10 inches hair in a pony tail for the locks of love. That would make her hair real short cropped. I was hesitant with that. Shoulder length was fine but up to the ears did not go down easily with me. But then Farheena being Farheena, insisted and had her way. It was a proud moment for all of us (Paula, Marie, Me, Rayyan and Farheena). She looked prettier and cute with her hair cut short. I could sense she missed her long hair but she knew that they would soon grow back again.

Having gone bald and yearning for hair during my chemotherapy, I really felt good deep inside me that my daughter had the noble heart to donate her loving hair for the Locks of Love. It was another ‘WOW’ hair moment of our lives.

The rest of her days in USA were spent with short hair. Paula would tell many of her friends how Farheena donated the long black locks to a good cause. Her hair grew fast and was shoulder length in few months and now the amazing hair is quite long, touching the ground when she sits. I wonder how much more it is going to grow.

Her lovely tresses open up and flow like silk all over her back. After a bath, when she sits under the fan for drying it up; it starts opening up and straightening itself so well, that I find it amusing just sitting there watching them. All I need to do is run a brush through it thoroughly after a while and plait it up. It has a good shine and is so smooth to touch. The pictures below will make you believe me!

Farheena has the most beautiful hair I have ever seen and a heart that surpasses the beauty of her hair. I got to know about it when Locks of Love won the battle with her Love for Locks.

Wet after bath

Beginning to dry

Continuing opening up and drying

I love her tresses so much!

A bit of brushing and we have a nice shiny plait