Chart Your Course Success Tips

Life Purpose and Passionate Living

Leisa Watkins — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 11:00:40 +0000

I’ve been at an odd place lately. They (you know who “they” are) have talked about men going through a mid life crisis. We’ll, I think isn’t any different for women – it’s just that we don’t refer to it as a crisis. We call it “reinventing myself.” I really like the sound of that really. It’s much more fun than a crisis, don’t you think?

Anyway, I’ve been questioning everything I do lately. (Okay – well not everything. It just seems like it sometimes.)

I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life. Yeah – I know – you’d think I would have figured that out a long, long time ago. Well I did. And I still do know what I want to do.

The problem is…

I still want to do it all. If I don’t, I’m sure I’ll be propelled back to my childhood to those evenings when I was sent to bed while my parents threw a party in the other room. I don’t want to miss out! I hate being left out! What if I miss out on something exciting because I am in my out fulfilling my life’s purpose.

The problem is, as a result of wanting it all, I have felt pulled in so many different directions. All of them good causes. All of them worthy of pursuit. All of them things that I am good at. All of them using talents that God has blessed me with.

Some days I just want to spend my future in the art studio, creating lots and lots of art. No, I want to split my time between the art studio and teaching art.
Some days I want to spend the majority of my time speaking to various groups of people on how to enRICH and improve their life.
Some days I want to spend time writing book, after book – from self-improvements books to that next big work of fiction.
Some days I want to spend my days as a food blogger who makes regular appearances as a judge on Iron Chef.
Some days I want to simply be just a homeschooling mom, who focuses ONLY on helping her kids be the best they can be.
Some days I want to be a vagabond – sell all my earthy possessions and travel the world.
Some days I want to purchase a farm and settle down in the country and some days I want to live a New York city lifestyle.
And thankfully most days I still really want to what I am doing.
But frankly – some days I don’t even want do one thing related to any of those pursuits.

Steve Pavliva, said in his blog post on discovering one’s life purpose, “If you want to discover your true purpose in life, you must first empty your mind of all the false purposes you’ve been taught (including the idea that you may have no purpose at all).” Yes, most of these are false purposes. After all, I would hope that my life would have more purpose than leaving my mark as a judge on Iron Chef.

I already know what my life purpose is, and two of the things I identified above fit perfectly with that purpose…

Spending time speaking to various groups of people on how to enRICH and improve their life.
Writing book, after book – from self-improvements books to that next big work of fiction. (Okay, maybe the fiction doesn’t fit).

But that doesn’t mean they other desires don’t have a role to play in my life. What these dreams and desires show me what some of my core values are. These desires are an indicator of what I value in life. And most importantly, they are an indication of what I can do to add a little richness along the road of life. They show me what my emotional “needs” are in life.

For example, creativity is one my core values, and one of my gifts from God. In fact, I made a good living as an artist, and art instructor, for some time. I bet you didn’t know that about me – did you. Well I guess you may have figured it out two paragraph or two ago. I am simply not that happy without some type of creative outlet. But, I don’t have to express my creativity on such a grand scale. I don’t have to turn everything I am good at into a career (but I still reserve the right to do so later). I can still express those “gifts” in other ways.

I can teach my daughters some new art techniques (fulfilling my desire to give my kids the best education, to be an incredible mom, and to create art.)
I can blog about the food I prepare for my family, but not worry about it resulting in a trip to judge the next iron chef competition. Heck, I can blog about food, while I watch Iron chef. (But, just between you and me, there is no way I am removing “Judge an Iron Chef event” from my bucket list.)
I can share with others the benefits of using art journaling to heal wounds of the past, and to create a brighter future.
I can recreate that little piece of the country here in my own home, right now, by raising backyard chickens.

Living a New York lifestyle to me means…

Fine dining.
Attending the ballet.
Attending plays.
Eating from street carts.
Attending art gallery openings.

So, to add a little New York lifestyle passion in my life, I can mix in the occasional play, purchase a set of season tickets to the local theater, and make my way to downtown Salt Lake to eat from the hottest, new food truck.

So ask yourself…

How are those gifts of yours going to best serve you and your mission in life?
How can you still use those gifts and desires to enrich your life and enhance what you are, or will be doing?
What core desire is behind all those things you dream of doing? How can you fulfill more of that core desire in your life right now?

You can successfully mix living a life based upon your core purpose in life, and still live true to those core values. Know that all of these are okay pursuits because they are part of your core values. They are congruent with your true desires. They make life worth living.

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What You Can Learn From My Blogging Failure

Leisa Watkins — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 11:00:34 +0000

Or: Why Blogging Is Important To Me, Why I Still Don’t Do Much of It and What You Can Take Away From My Experience

I was born to teach. Not the academic teaching done in a classroom. Rather, my mission is to help people avoid pitfalls in life. My mission is to help people learn tips that will help them increase success in life, and to help them liver fuller and a more enriching life. Blogging is a big part of achieving that mission and blogging is something I really, really enjoy.

In fact, I want to do big – no HUGE – things with my blogs – I want to help change the world for the better. I’ve got a burning desire to reach a wide audience with messages of hope, training and offer tools of support.

Despite those huge ambitions I haven’t done much blogging recently.

I could make up all sorts of excuses. Excuses that could be see as true justification – husband hit by drunk driver, daughter in the hospital for 30 days, etc. etc. etc. But those excuses would simply be a feeble attempt to cast myself in a more “favorable light.” When in reality it all boils down to really only one reason…

I choose not to! I am raising kids, homeschooling, running businesses, getting life caught up after years of illness, and finishing up some huge projects. (I explained more about that in my article Ten Steps to Getting Out of Overwhelm.)

Wait a minute! You say? Everything is a choice.

Yes, I know that everything we do is a result from a choice we made, I understand that. My point here is that – I made a very deliberate, and CONSCIOUS choice. My blogs don’t get neglected simply because I don’t get around to it.

This is important. My lack of blogging is by choice and not be default.

I chose to put my time and energy into areas that are needed more at this point in my life.
I chose to keep my dreams and goals back into alignment. Sometimes that means working om those projects that are important to your loved ones.

A default decision would be one that isn’t consciously thought about and made. It would finding my life slip away as I watch TV rather than blogging.

But that doesn’t mean that some days I don’t feel a little guilty about the whole thing…

After all, I love to write. I love to teach. I love to share.

When I first started blogging I closely watched my subscriber list, my visitor stats, and looked to each and every comment as a step that took me one step closer to my goal. I worked hard and saw success. I built momentum. But then I choose to let the momentum die down, to take a step back, and to make more room in my life. And believe me, that isn’t in the Successful Blogging 101 handbook.

But that is okay!

That doesn’t mean I am done blogging. No – far from it! I currently have 45 articles all in rough draft form and more being generated every day. I plan on blogging regularly because I love to share, I love to write, and blogging is a great way to reach people you couldn’t reach in other ways. So this isn’t the end of my blog. It isn’t the end of my sphere of influence.

Rather – it is just the beginning.

So What Can You Learn From My Experience?

Ask Yourself This:

Are you living your life by default or by choice?
Do you feel guilty for doing things that are not currently in your best interest?

A Lesson in Authentic Living

Leisa Watkins — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 01:05:15 +0000

Compliments of Eric Fischer

I just returned from the Marketing Mastery Seminar where I was able to learn from several entrepreneurs – particularly Garrett J. White, and Gerald Rogers. What really truck a cord with me this past weekend was what I learned from Garrett J. White, the master of Authentic living. This weekend, I thought of this question over and over again: Am I being truly authentic?

I came away with the realization that I haven’t been living authentically. You see, I tend to hide behind a facade of success. Sure I am successful. I truly am. But I have found myself not sharing my true self enough the past few years. I found myself wondering why. And came upon the realization that the very definition of my business and what it stood for had began to define me more than I thought it could.

You see, when I first started by blog in 2008 it lived at LeisaWatkins.com where I tended to share a little more openly. After all, it was about me, my journey, and what I had learned from life. It was much easier to be me. However, when I moved that blog to Wealth, Wisdom and Success later I stopped being so authentic and tended to hide my true self more.

Somehow I bought into the believe that…

when someone arrives at Wealth, Wisdom and Success they want to see a picture of success.

What I came to believe this weekend is that you, my readers, want someone who will share their struggles (to a point) as well as their successes. I’m not talking about a bunch of doom and gloom news – that wouldn’t be any fun for anyone and that isn’t my life at all. But I’m now realizing that people would much rather learn from and experience someone who is being truly authentic. Thank you Garret J. White for living your authentic self so it drew such a stark contrast to my moments of in-authenticity.

Don’t get me wrong, the posts contained here are not fakes. They are what I believe. They are the authentic me. They are a true side of myself. After all, I talk about… Health Problems, Financial Problems, and Feeling Broken. I talk about feeling like I am drowning in overwhelm, about growing up with ESP and I even talk about panic attacks and my quest to live more authentically when I start to tell my story. And I share my beliefs and life lessons of success.

But I admit it, I have had a tendency to hide to much of me. In fact, when I moved my blog I didn’t transfer many of the posts from that old blog to it’s new home here. Part of them seemed irrelevant at that point. But some were not moved simply because I was failing to live my authentic self.

This weekend I also realized that I was making a bigger difference in lives when I shared more openly. When I shared more openly I found others could more easily identify and related with me.

I failed to share the intense bouts of depression I felt as I began to recover from rape and trauma.
I failed to share my journey of recovery from ~~multiple personality disorder~~. (Gasp. Did I just write that for all the world to see?)

So I’ve re-posted a couple of those older posts so I can begin my quest to more authentic living. One is Coping with Stress and Trauma: How Would You Cope and the other was Attempting To Thrive In Today’s World. And I’ll tell you right now, I am not doing very well at my original plan to take better care of myself.

So here it is: My public pledge to be more authentic.

P.S. To my feed subscribers. We’ve moved our feed. Please subscribe again to keep getting notified of new posts.

Attempting To Thrive In Today’s World

Leisa Watkins — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 23:52:18 +0000

Originally Posted in 2008 at LeisaWatkins.com

Why do I find it so hard to take care of myself? I must think I am super women.

I do get a lot done, I’m very successful in many many ways, but I won’t be able to keep up at this pace. Things have got to change.

You see, I’ve been known to not eat all day, get four hours of sleep a day (consistently), and run myself ragged. It’s a terrible habit I’ve gotten myself into. I believe it all began years ago when I had a silent death wish, a wish to check out of this world, and stop the pain. But that is no longer the case and it has become simply a habit of self-sabotage because I get hyper-focusing and forget about anything else.,

Even at the worse times in my life there was a big part of me that wanted to live, and really live passionately. Thankfully that, and my love for my family, kept me alive.

I mentioned before that I began the road to recovery when I began creating. While the creating was artistic, I am sure it was to my soul symbolic of “creating a future.” I believe the physical act of creating something was important. It said to the world, “I’m here for the long haul. I am creating my future.”

But now staying alive isn’t enough. I’m out of that survival mode, and into the living mode. But I don’t want to just live, I want to thrive. And to thrive I’ve got to definitely take better care of myself. I’ve got to stop putting my health and well being last.

So here it is, my first two commitments on my Thriving plan. I plan to live a long healthy life. And to prove that I will now:

Start by day off right by eating breakfast. I will begin eating breakfast each morning so I have the energy to “really live.”
Drink More Life Giving Water – I’ll start off by drinking three large glasses of water before reaching for another beverage.

What are you doing to sabotage your future?
What are you doing to create your future?
What can you do to increase your odds of staying alive and enjoying life?
Want to join me on my quest to live with passion and vitality?

Oh Dear: This post was originally published in 2008. And I still have a tendency to not take care of myself.

Coping With Stress and Trauma: How Would You Cope?

Leisa Watkins — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 23:33:50 +0000

Originally Posted: Feb. 8, 2008 at LeisaWatkins.com

My husband and I just watched the Jodie Foster movie, The Brave One. (Warning: This post may contain spoilers.) In the movie Jodie Foster’s character, Erica Bain, is traumatized when she is brutally beaten and her finance is murdered in a vicious attack. The movie was a little too depressing to watch more than once. But it originally caught my eye as it chronicled the life of a woman after trauma and told the story of how she strives to cope with the fears that arose. Her response to the trauma surprises herself. This is evidenced in the quote:

“I always believed that fear belonged to other people. Weaker people. It never touched me. And then it did. And when it touches you, you know… that it’s been there all along. Waiting beneath the surfaces of everything you loved. “

You can speculate and guess how you would cope with traumatic events. But I believe you can’t truly know how you would cope in any experience unless you are in it. Sure you can look at your character traits, you can look at your past experiences, you can speculate, but you can’t truly know.

In a million years I would have never thought that I would react to a series of events in my life the way I have…

How I am able to cope fluctuates and has a great deal with how in control I feel. When I begin to feel circumstances around me are out of control I begin to panic.

Things that surprised me about how I cope are:

The fact that sometimes I don’t cope well at all. I hide under my covers and try to block out any and all noise and sound. This surprises me as I always felt that I was a mentally strong. I’m a survivor for sure. I’m more than that. I’m an achiever. But I have been know to run and hide for 15 minutes, or even for an hour or two.
How judgmental I have been in the past. I honestly never felt I was a judgmental person, and have always felt very accepting of other people. Still I couldn’t understand how someone could let their house get so messy, or their personal appearance could get so unkempt at times. I now understand that things can sometimes get so overwhelming that even the most organized and well intentioned people can have simply have a hard time keeping up with life.
How judgmental people can be – The saying “do not judge me until you have walked a thousand miles in my moccasins” has great relevance here. Trust me, you can’t really truly understand unless you’ve been there.
My temper - At times of high stress little things will cause me to feel angry. I’m not really angry at the event, but it is the lack-of-control I feel that I have on my surroundings that anger me. When I lose my sense of control anger surfaces. So one of the primary symptoms for me of a panic attack is anger.
That sometimes “thinking my way out” of it is so hard. I believe in positive thinking. I believe in the power of thoughts to change lives. I believe that how you think determines your life. But still “thinking my way out” of these feelings of panic can sometimes be so difficult. When one’s body reacts, and when things trigger emotions they can cast a heavy cloud that is a little more difficult to dissipate. That being said, I believe you can easily think your way into a depression. Anyone could think of plenty of things to be depressed about. It is much easier to stay out of depression than to get out of depression. Controlling your thoughts is the key.
What can set these feelings of lack of control off. The most common thing is fighting kids. It drives me nuts that when I can’t control the noise level or contention. Normally beautiful sounds can also trigger these feelings. Things like the sound of a baby laughing. It is a sound I love, but it will trigger feelings of great loss within me as it transports me back to a time.
How strong I am - I have learned that I am a strong person. That I have a fighting spirit. That I can survive. But I can do more than survive. I can live. And not only that I can help others live their life more fully.

Things that I used to do:

Fear – I no longer fear. I am not afraid of people. I’m not afraid of circumstances. I got to where I would wanted to confront my stocker and look him straight in the eyes. I no longer wanted to flee. I wanted to be the one in control. In the end I became that person in control.
Purge the trauma – I threw up many times a day for years and years. Don’t get this wrong. I wasn’t bulimic. It wasn’t something I wanted to do or tried to do. It just happened. I tried all sorts of things to keep the food down. But it just kept coming back up. I came to realize that it was as if my body was trying to purge the trauma. It was trying to purge the memories. Once I got to a certain point of healing it began to ease up. Now I can go for weeks at a time. (This was dramatically helped with some nutritional supplements as well).
Not eat – OK, this is one that I admit I am still working on. But we are nearly there. I got in the habit of not eating. After all, why eat if it wasn’t even going to stay down.
Not sleep – it took hours to get to sleep, and finally when I slept it was for an hour and a half at a time. That was even with medication. I was on some form of sleep medication for nearly twenty years. About four months ago I began a specific nutritional supplement that made it possible for me to go to sleep on my own and I actually slept for six hours straight. I remember vividly the night I fell asleep and awoke eight hours later feeling refreshed. It was a miracle. Now, thankfully, I can go to sleep easily and stay asleep for four hours even when not taking the supplement. I now am able to turn off those thoughts that would keep me awake at night.

So readers I ask you:

Have you found yourself in situations where the way you reacted surprised yourself? If so, in what way?
What coping strategies have you found you rely on?

Additional Resources on Trauma and It’s Reactions See:

Compassionate Living: Six Everyday Strategies for Finding True Happiness

Leisa Watkins — Wed, 04 May 2011 11:00:33 +0000

We write a lot about “Success” here at Wealth, Wisdom and Success. But success isn’t “the key to happiness”. Can one be truly successful without a good healthy dose of happiness? I don’t think so. I believe that compassionate living, living life with compassion and making a difference in the world by living ones unique mission, is a primary key to happiness.

People have long believed in karma. They have believed that what you put out into the world will be returned to you. I certainly believe that there is quite a bit of truth to the karma bit. Even before I had known the word “karma” I tried to follow some of the best advice regarding happiness: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Spread happiness and happiness will return to you. Not only does helping others make others feel good, but it is a fantastic strategy for ensuring your long-term happiness.

There are many benefits to living compassionately. Helping others create happiness, creates happiness for both for you, and the recipient.

Here’s how putting others first can contribute to your overall happiness…

Image Courtesy of h.koppdelaney

You’ll be able to develop closer relationships with others.

Naturally, showing more consideration for others will improve your relationships. People are more likely to reciprocate kindness if you are kind. It even helps in dealing with the grumpy ones because you’ll be able to accept temporary disappointments more easily because your relationships will be grounded in a sincere regard for their welfare.

You’ll Reduce Your Stress Levels

When one tries to control others it”s exhausting. After all, it’s often frustrating because so many external things are beyond our control. Placing less importance on your own immediate gratification, while focusing on the welfare of others, will help you feel happier no matter what occurs.

You’ll Encourage a More Compassionate Community

By setting a good example, you may encourage others to look beyond their own needs and to look out more for the welfare of others. Your positive conduct can have a powerful impact on those around you.

You’ll Help Protect Yourself from Depression.

Recent studies show a disturbing rise in narcissism and a corresponding increased risk of depression. Putting others first is good for your emotional health. Healthy relationships and virtuous living are likely to make you far more content than depending on others for attention and trying to accumulate material possessions.

You’ll Develop More empathy And More Easily Understand the Needs of Others

As the world’s population is approaches 7 billion, and as technology allows those traditional borders to shrink empathy is more vital in the world. When you understand how we share more similarities than differences, it’s easy to understand the needs of others.

Everyday Tasks Will Become More Meaningful

Even those everyday, mundane tasks can feel rewarding if you understand how they benefit others. For example, simply thinking about how recycling those cans you used for dinner helps to protect the planet for future generations.

How Does One Start to Live With More Compassion? By Putting Others First in Your Daily Life.

Here’s Six Compassionate Living Strategies You Can Implement Right Now to Create More Happiness

Begin by Transforming Your Commute.

Use your daily commute to demonstrate your compassion by thinking about the needs and desires of others. See how it feels when you stop rushing to get the last seat on the train and focus instead on smiling at your fellow passengers. Be patient with other drivers they are only trying to get to their destination, just like you are.

Teach Your Children How to Live With More Compassion.

Your children learn by your example. Help them to get off to a healthy start on the road to happiness by talking with them about living compassionately. Teach them how taking the time to chat with elderly neighbors or volunteer at your church is a key to achieving long term happiness.

Practice Developing More Compassion At Work.

Look for opportunities to help others with their workload. Look for, and take advantage of the opportunities to praise co-workers, your employees, or sub-contractors for their accomplishments and share the credit for group efforts.

Slow Down and Choose to Shop With Compassion.

Take a different approach to shopping. Try to leave the people you come in contact with during your shopping trip in a better place because your paths crossed. Make shopping more fun by creating a game out of making a difference.

Participate in Leisure Activities and Hobbies that Make A Difference.

Devote your leisure time to activities that help you to enrich the lives of other people. You may want to do formal volunteer work for a cause you believe in. Even eating out can qualify if you keep the focus on helping others to enjoy themselves and leave a generous tip for the servers. Or try this one: Pick-up the bill for a table near you anonymously. Someone did that for us a few years ago and we still talk about it. It created such happiness for us that day, and still does years later as we pause to think about the generosity of a stranger.

Use the TV, and other Media Strategically.

You can still enjoy TV and other common pleasures. Just make them more productive by selecting those shows that uplift, and my viewing the characters with compassion. Analyze how the characters actions demonstrate selflessness and how that results in improving their circumstances. An episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition or Undercover Millionaire inspires me to live with more compassion and determine how I can make a bigger difference in the world.

Thinking of others first through compassionate living will make your life happier – guaranteed.

Spend time thinking about why it’s beneficial to consider the welfare of others and how you can make a bigger difference.
Take advantage of the opportunities to practice this strategy in your daily life.

Four Action Steps That Will Help You Reach Your Goals And Create More Success

Leisa Watkins — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 18:00:02 +0000

Did you make some goals that you wish you hadn’t given up on? If you are like most people, you likely abandoned those goals within the first few weeks of setting them.

Stop beating yourself up over what you have or haven’t done! You can still accomplish those goals- even if you’re starting over.

Try these action tips to help you achieve those goals so you can jump for joy!

Image Courtesy of danorbit

Step 1: Make Your Goals Known

Tell someone close to you about your goal. Of better yet, tell lots of people. Tell your Facebook friends, or set-up a blog where you track your progress, and so can the world. This helps to hold you accountable for your success or lack thereof. Plus, you’ll feel more resolve to actually complete the goal than if you were to simply keep the goal to yourself.

By making your intentions public you have given yourself some extra incentives to meet your goal:

You’ll enjoy the fruits of your labor and public bragging rights that you’ve completed your goal.
You’ll ward off the embarrassment of having to explain why you didn’t complete the goal.

Step 2: Recruit a Friend or Goal Buddy To Work On Your Goals With

Find a friend, with a similar goal, and work toward reaching your goals together. Make an agreement to continually offer each other moral support and hold the other person accountable.

Weight loss is an especially suitable goal to enlist the help and support of a buddy. Other goals this technique would be particulary suited for include home improvement projects, financial goals, and family goals.

Hint: Choose a friend that will hold you accountable for reaching your goals. An unmotivated friend that will simply say “It’s okay, try again next year” isn’t the right person for the job.

Step 3: Break Your Goals Down Into Manageable Pieces

Break your goals down into bite-sized chunks. For example, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds by your class reunion, in five months, break down the goal into fifths. In this particular example, it would break down to losing four pounds a month. That sounds like a much easier task than losing 20 pounds.

Even if after five months you’ve fallen a bit short of the goal, you’ll still very likely have lost some considerable weight. Essentially, you’ve increased your success because you’re in a better position than you were.

Any goal seems more attainable when broken down into manageable milestones. But this technique can really help if you are feeling particularly overwhelmed by the task at hand.

Step 4: Develop A Strong Plan to Achieve Your Goal

Setting a goal without creating a plan is setting yourself up for failure. When you create a plan detailing the exact actions you must take in order to achieve your goal you set yourself up for greater success.

It is essential, that you know exactly what you want to do. Saying, “I want to lose weight” isn’t going to cut it. It leaves far to much wiggle room. But saying “I want to lose 20-lbs by July 17th” is a much better plan.

Create a detailed plan that entails exactly how you’ll get to your goal. Detail the daily actions that you will use to move closer to your goal.

For increased chance of success, create an alternate, or back-up plan just in case your initial plan falls short, thus helping you set yourself up for success – one way or the other! What happens if your treadmill breaks and your entire plan is based on running five miles a day on the treadmill? What if weather keeps you from going on that daily jog? Do you have a fitness center pass so you can work out indoors?

When your goal begin to seem out of reach envision what your life will be like after you reach your resolution. That will often help you regain some motivation. You’ll be happier, your life will be better, and you’ll have a sense of pride knowing that you’ve worked hard to accomplish your goals.

If you take your goals seriously, have set reasonable goals, and follow these tips, you can achieve it! It will require a consistent effort on your behalf and some hard work, but it’ll all be worth it when you accomplish that resolution.

For additional tips on getting rid of roadblocks that sabotage your success and to learn additional strategies for keeping your goals on track get our free eBook, Right On Track.

This book uncovers some of the challenges that people experience in pursuit of their goals, and tips on how to battle those challenges. It includes proven strategies that can help you gain control of your life and get you back on track when you’ve lost site of your goals, or stumbled along the path.

>>Click here to download your copy. (New Window Will Open)

Develop Better Decision Making Skills With These Eight Decision Making Tips

Leisa Watkins — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 11:00:48 +0000

Many people find themselves easily making decisive decision when it relates to business, but struggle to put those same skills to use in their personal life. Personally, I find it most difficult to make make decisions when both things are something good. My mom always said the hardest decisions to make are between two things which are good. However, there are some incredible benefits of being more decisive.

Compliments of Dominic's pics

The Benefits of Being More Decisive

Being More Decisive Gives You Increased Ability to Pursue Your Dreams

One of the major benefits of making conscious choices, rather than passive choices, is that you can shape a life path that reflects your values and priorities. When you fail to take action, you may find yourself drifting through life and passively dealing with whatever circumstances come along.

Being Decisive Will Help You Save Time and Energy

Making decisions more quickly frees up the time that gets wasted going back and forth over the same options. It also eliminates the stress, confusion and anxiety that you may feel about making mistakes.

You Will Feel More Confident When You Make Decisions More Easily

Your self-confidence can soar when you take greater control over your life and develop your decision-making skills. This creates a positive momentum because it’s easier to make decisions when you believe in yourself and your abilities.

Decisiveness Will Likely Help You Learn More

Every decision you make is a golden opportunity to learn more about yourself and the world around you. After all, the choices one makes reveal one’s true character. And that fear of failure can be transformed into a willingness to learn from adversity and gain valuable feedback about areas where you can improve.

Now that we’ve discussed the benefits of being more decisive let’s take a look at steps one can take to become more decisive…

How to Become More Decisive

1. Motivate Yourself

Once you make the conscious effort to become more decisive, you’ll begin to recognize opportunities to be more pro-active in your decision making. Because it can be scary to commit to a course of action, you’ll probably need to remind yourself of the advantages of leading a more intentional life.

Sit down and determine what indecisiveness has cost you.

Has it cost you lost opportunities?
What are the advantages to being decisive?

Make a list and refer to it if you are tempted to delay a decision of some kind.

2. Do Your Research. Become informed about The Decision You Are Faced With

Making sound and reliable decisions requires the correct information. Do yourself a favor and get your facts and figures straight. All it takes is a little research on your own or a quick consultation with someone who has relevant expertise.

3. Analyze the Pros and Cons of Your Decision

For complex decisions, it’s often helpful to draw a grid. Plot the pros and cons and assign them a value based on their importance to you. Real life dilemmas may be more complicated than simple math, but this exercise can give you a good outline for what direction to take, and can certainly be a confidence booster.

4. Start With Smaller Decisions First

It’s okay to get a gradual start. Start with making quick decisions in areas where you feel confident and where the consequences are relatively minor. Try out the new local cafe, try a food you don’t usually eat, or go ahead and purchase that throw rug in a new color scheme.

5. Practice Your Decision Making Skills

It’s perfectly acceptable to work your way up to more significant decisions. You’ll find it easier as you build confidence in your abilities. Learn to trust your judgment and accept any consequences or criticisms that may arise.

6. Give Yourself a Deadline and Create a Timeline

You may have to set your own deadline to prompt yourself to action. Plan If you want to buy a house in a few years, start now to make financial decisions that will give you the savings and credit rating you’ll need to achieve your goal. You’ll free yourself up to more possibilities and that will reduce your fear.

7. Just Go Ahead and Face Your Fears

The fear of making mistakes can be a barrier to becoming more decisive. Be gentle with yourself, but go ahead and move ahead even (if you’re nervous). Mistakes are a part of life. Thankfully, in the long run, you may learn more from failures than from victories.

8. Trust Yourself: Follow Your Heart

The decisions you make in your personal life are successful if they bring you more happiness and contentment. You may find more gratification in being an artist than in going to law school. Rational analysis is helpful, but you want to feel good about whatever choices you make.

Becoming more decisive will help you get more out of life. Take a pro-active approach to making life choices that you can be proud of.

Please share with us…

What helps you make decisions?
What types of decisions do you find most difficult to make?

Quiet Your Mind With These Time Proven Techniques

Leisa Watkins — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 22:27:45 +0000

Since the beginning of time people have sought methods to quiet their minds. Long before technology introduced modern distractions into our lives, human kind have pursued inner peace.

If you’re seeking a methods that can help you achieve inner peace by quieting your mind these four ancient techniques have proven effective— even by today’s standards.

Image Compliments of HaPe_Gera

Practice These Meditation Techniques

Practice breathing meditation. Breathing meditation is a simple and effective method for calming your mind. Start by finding a comfortable and quiet place where you can sit and observe your breath. With practice, you’ll be able to meditate longer periods or place your mind on your breath in any surroundings.
Develop single-pointed concentration. Train your mind to rest upon your object of meditation whether it’s a candle or a spoken mantra. Note any distracting thoughts but decline to pursue them. Bring your mind back to your chosen object.
Learn to visualize. Select images that promote happiness and serenity. Perhaps you may want to picture the waves crashing upon the beach or deer grazing in a meadow.
Focus on positive thoughts. If your meditation is part of a spiritual practice, you can follow the prayers taught in your tradition. Alternatively, you can soothe your mind by repeating any thought or quote that is meaningful for you.

Use the Soothing Qualities of Water

Take a bath. Cultures all over the world have long appreciated the calming effects of water. A simple warm bath can soothe your nerves. Rest your head on a bath pillow and add some comforting scents like sandalwood or lavender. Turn the lights down low and play soft music.
Surround yourself with the sound of water. Eat your lunch by a park fountain or install a solar device in your own backyard. You can find recordings of waterfalls online or get a CD with aquatic effects that you can play anywhere you go.

Get Back to Nature

Go for a walk. In some eras, it was common for people to go on long retreats into the wilderness. Even a short break can do wonders to restore your peace of mind. Visit your local state park or take a quiet walk around your neighborhood. If you work indoors all week, use the weekend to explore scenic trails for biking and hiking.
Cultivate a garden. Gardening is a great way to slow down and appreciate nature. Devote a section of your backyard to growing flowers and vegetables. If you live in an apartment setting, select plants that will flourish indoors or on a balcony, like some species of palm trees and herbs.
Spend time with animals. Spending time with animals is so therapeutic it’s even been proven to help people recover from surgery faster. Take your dog for a walk. Watch your cat at play. Sign up for horseback riding lessons.

Live in the Present Moment

Put the past behind you. Dwelling on the past can make it difficult to feel composed. If you’re thinking about past misfortunes, decide if you’d rather devote your energy to more constructive activities.
Adopt a positive view towards the future. The future always carries some uncertainty. Focus on creating causes for a better future and patiently accepting whatever outcomes arise.
Enjoy the present moment. Give your full attention to what is happening now. Take advantage of the opportunities before you and delight in the good things that surround you. Steer your mind towards wholesome thoughts and actions. Engage fully with the people who share your life.

Many time proven techniques work equally well today for achieving a quiet mind regardless of external circumstances. Visit your local library or bookstore to discover more information about the healing powers of meditation. With these methods, you can create a welcoming environment for yourself and others and train your mind to enjoy greater peace.

Feeling Broken And Fragmented? Don’t Worry – You’re Beautiful Too!

Leisa Watkins — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 00:23:43 +0000

Feeling Broken and Fragmented?

I know I have.

Sometimes we have a tendency to look at ourselves as broken.

This is particularly true with people who have been abused.

Compliments of by LunaDiRimmel

Remember this…

Broken can be so beautiful…

Just like you!

Photo Compliments of Bernat Casero

You are a multi-faceted beauty!

Photo Compliments of tanakawho

Compliments of by Jason A. Samfield

You reflect the beauty around you!

Image Compliments of Catalina Olavarria

Even Those Sharp Edges Can Be Spectacular at Times

Image Compliments of cobalt123

Cracks Often Create Beauty Where There Was None

Image Courtesy of esc.ape(d)

Image Courtesy of See-Ming Lee

Image Courtesy of 96dpi

Fragments Can Cast Light In New Ways

It’s All a Matter of Perspective