Chasing Joy

The Joys of Single Life: Before Marriage Bucket List

2013-05-20T00:44:00.000-04:00

I want to get Married. I want a husband. I want to be a Mrs. At age 33 I know that this milestone will occur sooner than later. So it is best that I spend this time, before marriage, enjoying single life, focusing on myself 100%, and cross some things off of my BMBL, Before Marriage Bucket List. I got the idea to create a BMBL from Heather who blogs at Diary of a First Time Mom.

Here is my list of things to do and skills to master before I become Mrs. Chasing Joy.

Get to a weight I'm comfortable with. I need to lose weight to be healthier and to feel more confident. I think it will be easier to do this now when I can devote my time and attention to it. Now I am only focusing on cooking for myself and I do have time to exercise that I won't necessarily have when I am married. Also I should establish these routines now.
Learn how to keep house. I'm just not good at this. While I like to cook, I'm really not very domestic. I am guilty of having more things than I have space for, of not putting this up, and of letting things like dishes pile up . I don't want this to be an issue in my future marriage. Or I can just get a maid. I'm seriously considering the later.
Go on vacation by myself. I have traveled alone but never for vacation. I have gone out of town by myself several times for work. I have gone away for blog conference. These types of trips have built in schedules and purposes. I have traveled with friends and family. Those trips were fun but require coordination with others and consideration of what they want to get out of the trip. I want to go away by myself for no particular reason other than to visit someplace I want to go. I will be able to do whatever I want on my own time schedule. This will require me to be a bit brave as solo traveling does feel a little scary.
Buy myself an expensive piece of jewelry. There is no reason for a modern woman such as myself to have to wait for a man to give her an expensive piece of jewelry.
Take my boudoir photos. This has been on my to do list for a while. I want to capture my sexier side in print. I may have a hard time selling this to future husband. I also want to do this just for me and not as a gift for him.

I am really surprised that there are not more things on my BMBL. I guess there are more things I would not mind and even look forward to sharing with the future husband. Things like having children, joining a church, celebrating holidays, birthdays, and special occasions and moving into my dream house.

If your single what's on your BMBL? If you are married what would you recommend a single girl like me add to her list.

#FlashbackFriday: 6 Words About Chasing Joy

2013-05-17T00:01:00.001-04:00

Happy Friday Everyone!!!

It's time to Flashback to one of your favorite older posts. But before you do that I have a favor to ask. You may remember that my mom was in the hospital back at the end of the year. Since then she has been having a health issue and in a few days we will get some results back. Please take a moment and say a prayer for her this weekend. It would be greatly appreciated.

Now, back to the business of Flashback Friday. My favorite posts from last week's link up are:

Balpreet Kaur: A Strong Woman is a really great post highlighting a woman who is 100% comfortable in the skin she's in.
20,000 tweets later offers lots of info on monitoring your twitter usage, how much time you spend tweeting, when you first started tweeting, and what you tweet about. Guess what I tweet about the most, #FlashbackFriday!!!
Paula J discusses the choice we have to make daily. How should we spend our time and which activities are actually more valuable.

My flashback this week is 6 Words About Chasing Joy. I sum up my philosophy on life in only 6 words. It's' a quick read so check it out.

Now it's time for you to link up!!! Simply add a link to your favorite posts in the linky below. Share your post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page and use the hashtag #FlashbackFriday on Twitter to promote your Flashback posts. All are welcome!!! The only rule is to visit AT LEAST TWO other flashback posts from the linky. If you link up early be sure to come back and checkout those who join the linky after you. Remember our linky does not work properly if you don't visit the other links :-)

Make sure you tell everyone you linked up. Click here to tweet -> I just linked up for #FlashbackFriday with @Chasing_Joy. Make sure you grab the #FlashbackFriday button.

Now, give your old post new life via the power of the linky!!!

6 Tips To Keeping Your Dog Happy & Joyful

2013-05-15T00:42:00.000-04:00

Hello people. My person was busy so I'm helping her out on the blog today. I am the awesome Shih Tzu known as Hurt. My person has mentioned me a time or two here on her blog. No, I'm not telling you how I got my name. It's top secret so if I told you I'd have to kill you.

I've been taking care of my person for a few years now and I love it. I know you all think that the person is in charge and the animals are the pets but you are all so mistaken. We let you think that because we know how fragile your egos are, but I digress. I have been taking care of my person for a few years now and I finally have her fully trained on exactly what to do to keep me pleased. So here are a few tips on how to have a happy dog.

Crunchies!!! Lot's of them. The way to your dog's heart is through his stomach. Keep his stomach full and he will reciprocate with lots of doggy kisses. Now often while you are eating your dog may gently remind you that eating is a social activity and they'd like to join you. Don't mistake this for begging. This is simply part of your training and a reminder that you forgot to give us a little something when you fixed your plate. Dropping a few morsels onto the floor for us will quickly rectify the oversight.
Walks! Exercise is so important. If us dogs did not insist on daily walks our people would get really out of shape. We can't let that happen. We have to keep our people healthy . Notice the enthusiastic energy us dogs have when doing our daily walk. Our people should follow suit. The walks keep our muscles toned and our bodies slim. We use the exercise time to explore our surroundings and get to know our neighbors and their people.
Naps! Now the length and number of napes required by dogs vary. As part of your training to become an awesome pet parent you will learn what works best for your dog. A Senior dog such as myself has learned the benefits of getting lots of beauty sleep. You will know when your dog has reached the optimal level of sleep when they run and bark in their sleep without waking themselves up. This level of sleep is also accompanied by a protruding tongue.
Rubs!!!! This is a major major key to keeping your dog happy. Rubs also known as petting your dog or scratching your dog, is a bonding activity. We allow our people to give us rubs so that they can have a physical connection with use. We know how smooth our fur feels on your paws, I mean hands. We know the pleasure it gives you to see us wiggle about and do our version of laughing and smiling. Rubs are relaxing to but us dogs and our people so don't be stingy with them.
Swag! That's right we have swag too. Don't get lazy when it comes to keeping us groomed. A comb, brush and pair of scissors go along way. Keep us neat and clean. Some of us are more high maintenance than others. Get to know your dog and what it takes to keep them so fresh and so clean. If your dog is like me he will enjoy getting dressed. And don't be stingy when it comes to the bling a rhinestone collar is always a nice touch.
Routine. Now this does not sound so exciting but the routine is how all of the above work together to make your dog the happiest K9 ever. Grooming to keep your dog's Swag On will vary from pup to pup. However the Crunchies, walks, rubs, and naps will be similar for all of us. It will go something like this. Rubs, Walks, Crunchies, Rubs, Nap and repeat! Not hard at all. Even a person should be able to get this routine down pact.

Just follow the tips above and you will make your dog as happy as my person has made me. You will know you have it down when your dog starts doing the following for positive reinforcement: greeting you at the door, jumping on you when you return home, following you around the house (even keeping you company in the bathroom), and giving you lots and lots of puppy kisses. Don't forget us dogs give you people lots of Joy so we should have Joyful lives too.

Thanks for letting me fill in for my person.

Yours Truly Hurt!

What gives your pet the most Joy (rubs, toys, special treats)?

13 Joyful Reasons to Lose Weight

2013-05-13T00:51:00.000-04:00

I need to lose weight! :-( This is not a new statement. If you've been Chasing Joy with me since the beginning, then you know I have been trying to get healthier and learn to treat my body like a temple for a long time. Like forever. I have not been successful yet. I say yet because I have not given up.

Last week I read two blogs that resonated with me, Skinny Jeans Dreams and Phit-N-Phat. There were several ideas that stuck with me from these blogs. Not giving up when you go off track. Instead of saying to hell with it and binge out after going over my calories or a weight gain, just getting back on track. Making small changes and doing things that make staying on track easy.

In addition to the above I realized that perhaps my problem has been that I have not really zeroed in on why I want and need to lose weight. I need to articulate it in a way that can be referenced easily. I need to focus on my Why!

So here are 13 reasons why I want to lose weight.

I want to feel comfortable to go to the doctor to address any health concerns and not put it off because I don't want a lecture about my weight.
I want to eat without pain or experiencing heart burn and acid reflux.
I want to have more options when shopping.
I want to feel more confident.
I want friends and family to feel more willing to introduce me to eligible bachelors and not hesitate because they are not sure their guy friends like bigger girls.
I want to feel lighter on my feet when exercising.
I want to feel in control of what goes in my body.
I want to get healthier as I get older.
I want to remain free of diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and cancer.
I want to have a healthy pregnancy when that time comes.
I want to have lots and lots of options for my future wedding dress.
I want to not feel self conscious or worry about people making mean comments about my weight.
I want my Joy to not be limited by my weight.

Do you need to lose weight, or make any other health changes to have a more Joyful life? If so have you figured out your Why???

#FlashbackFriday: Joy Chaser's Guide to Surviving Visits From Your Ex.

2013-05-10T00:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday!!!!

Welcome to the Flashback Friday Link Up!

Flashback Friday is where we link back to one of our favorite oldie but goodie posts! Simply Add a link to your posts in the linky below. Share your post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page and use the hashtag #FlashbackFriday on Twitter to promote your Flashback posts. All are welcome!!! The only rule is to visit AT LEAST TWO other flashback posts from the linky. If you link up early be sure to come back and checkout those who join the linky after you. Remember our linky does not work properly if you don't visit the other links :-)

Before you add your link, check out some of my favorite posts form last weeks linky:

You Cant Live a Positive Life With a Negative Mind is such a great post. It supports me thoughts on avoiding Joy Thieves and gives examples of how to turn negative thoughts into positive ones by practicing an attitude of gratitude. Plus it was originally posted on my Birthday :-)

How to be More Confident at Work provides great practical advice based on experience. I will be referencing this post again.

My Flashback Friday post this week is Joy Chaser's Guide to Surviving Visits From Your Ex. My post pokes a bit of fun at the uncomfortable situation of your ex showing up uninvited and unexpected.

Make sure you tell everyone you linked up. Click here to tweet -> I just linked up for #FlashbackFriday with @Chasing_Joy.

Now, give your old post new life via the power of the linky!!!

No Joy When Spa Treatments Go Wrong. Oh Pooh!!

2013-05-08T00:15:00.000-04:00

This past Saturday I thought I was going to have a couple of nice spa treatments. One that was more of a health treatment while the other was to be relaxing. Ha! I thought wrong. These spa treatments were the worst $60 I have ever spent. Instead of money well spent this was $60 down the crapper. Literally!!!

The treatments I had scheduled were a colonic hydrotherapy treatment followed by a detox body wrap. A friend of mine started touting the wonders of colonics years ago. My initially reaction was no thanks. I should have followed my gut instinct. In the last few years colonics have become much more common. I've seen reality show stars get them during an episode. Other friends of mine have started getting them too. One friend, not the one who first told me about them, recently sent out an email giving praise to colonic hydrotherapy.

Months ago, prior to my friends email, I had purchased one of those email deals to get both the colonic and body wrap for only $60. I went against my initial gut feeling and clicked purchase. I had heard good things and figured maybe I'd experience some of the benefits others had. I also figured it would be a new experience that might be joyful enough to write about here. After getting the email from my friend I went ahead and booked my appointment. Little did I know this spa day would amount to one big cow pie!

I immediately felt ill at ease in the waiting room. The staff in the medi spa waiting room had European or Russian sounding accents. The accents in themselves were not the problem. What made me feel uneasy was the absence of the little niceties that are typically a part of Americans' speech. The staff was much more blunt than I'm accustomed to, saying things like "Sit down and fill this out!" as opposed to "Please have a seat and complete the new customer form" The receptionist called someone who had missed her appointment and she was very stern telling her that she'd missed her appointment and could not miss the next one. They were also speaking kind of loud compared to the hushed tones I'm accustomed to at a spa. Instead of feeling relaxed, I felt like I could have gotten yelled at at any moment.

When I did get called back for my appointment, my colonic hydrotherapyst did not have an accent and was much more gentile in her demeanor. I relaxed as she explained the procedure. Part of a tube would be put in my you know where then water would be flushed in and excrement would be washed out. What kind of mess have I gotten myself into. No turning back know. The shit is about to hit the fan. I thought to myself.

We started the procedure. It was rather uncomfortable and I asked the therapist if the tube was in right. She assured me it was and we continued with the procedure. I filled the awkward silence with silly chit chat about TV shows and such. Water went in and water came out. Water went in and water came out. Water went in and water came out. That's right only water. Just water! It turns out my colon was already pretty clean. I'm not full of it after all, I thought.

The therapist messaged my belly like she was kneading some bread in an effort to get things going. She'd warned I might experience some cramping. Boy did I. I started to feel like I had a stomach virus complete with cramping and slight nausea What kind of poop head purposely gives herself the symptoms of a stomach virus. I must have been flushed 10 times. During the 10th, last, and final flush, finally some poo was starting to move. Ahhhh the tube was not in right after all!!!!!!!! I will spare you the details. Let's just say this experience has confirmed that certain orifices are meant to be exit only.

I bet you think that was the worst of it? Nope. After the unsuccessful colonic hydrotherapy was over I was to use the restroom to finish. It felt like I was never going to finish. When is this mess going to be over!! I thought. I was probably in there 40 minutes or more. Guess how many people came to check on me. None! I came out to find a note directing me where to go to wait for my body wrap.

The body wrap was actually the worse part. Normally spas have tables and tubs that are ergonomically designed to curve with your back. Not this one! It was completely flat. If you are built anything like me you have some extra cushion in the back. This means when you lay down flat on your back there is a space between the small of your back and the surface of the table. This creates pain when you extend your legs straight as you have to do when you have a body wrap. This was the most painful spa procedure ever. I would have told the lady to cut it short but guess what, she left! This is a load chimp chunks, what kind of dump is this that constantly leaves the clients alone to fend for themselves, where my thoughts.

Oh, I saved the best part for last. I think this may have to do with some of those cultural differences I mentioned in the beginning. When the lady escorted me into the room for the body wrap she explained that I was to take off my robe and lay on the table. Then she stood there. I stood there. We looked at each other as I waited for her to leave the room until I was comfortably on the table like they do at most spas. Then she says, "Oh, I know you are naked. It is ok. I have seen everything! Take your robe off".

Oh pooh! What a mess my spa treatments turned out to be!!!

On the bright side, I'm just as happy to share my misadventures with you all as I am my success stories. Every new experience won't be a good one. But it is good to try new things because you will never know what can give you Joy unless you give things a try. Besides it gave me a great excuse to write a post with the challenge of using as many synonyms for doo doo as possible and not fudge it all up. Do you think that would make a good writing prompt? LOL

Have you had a better experience with colonic hydrotherapy than I did? Have you ever had a when spa treatments go wrong experience? Bonus question, how many synonyms did you count?

Does Your Smile Bring You Joy? It Can!

2013-05-06T00:00:00.000-04:00

Happiness belongs to everyone. It is not a resource that can be used up. There is enough of it for all of us.

Unfortunately for many of us not being happy about what we see in the mirror can be a huge road block on the way to Joy and happiness. While looks should not matter, we all know that they do. That's why liking what you see in the mirror is so important. Feeling good about yourself and confident in your appearance is such an important element of having a Joyful life.

Finding Joy in ones appearance is important for all of us but super important for teenagers who are adjusting to changing bodies, hormones, and responsibilities That's why I'm happy to share with you that Invisalign is now available for teens and preteens. (Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post. However, all thoughts and opinions are my own.) Invisalign aligners are similar to brace except they are clear and basically invisible I have never had braces but a few of my family members and friends have had them. Braces on teens often represent just another thing to feel insecure about. Something else that makes them feel like they are different or stand out. Luckily, now, Invisalign is another choice that is available for today's teens and preteens.

While I'm sure braces in general have changed and improved since I was a teenager, removable aligners like Invisalign and Invisalign Teen offer some great advantages. One of the main things I remember my friends complaining about regarding their braces were the diet restrictions. They could not eat gum, certain sticky candies or basically anything that could get caught in their teeth. With Invisalign, the aligners are taken out at meal time, removing all food restrictions. Teens can eat whatever their friends are eating and not worry about being different.

People with straight teeth may have more Joy!

One of the first times I remember feeling really grown up and liking what I saw in the mirror was my junior prom. I was smiling in every picture and not giving a second thought about my teeth. I am sure my peers who were wearing braces were not so at ease smiling for the camera. This would be another occasion when Invisalign Teen's removable aligners would come in handy. Invisalign can make prom and school dance jitters a little less since they can be removed for special occasions.

If you are considering helping your teen feel better about the way they look by improving their smile, or maybe even improving your own smile, with braces, here are a few facts about Invisalign compared to braces that you should consider.

Invisalign uses a series of clear aligners made of lightweight plastic that sit smoothly on the teeth allowing for a more comfortable fit and they work as effectively as traditional metal braces.
Invisalign works the same way as braces. Force is applied to the tooth forcing it to move into the proper position.
While Invisalign is newly available for teens and preteens it has been around since 1999.
If your teen plays sports they are less likely to have a serious injury if hit in the face while wearing Invisalign than braces.
Everyone is different and there are many factors that determine the cost of Invisalign. But, in most cases, Invisalign is comparable in cost to traditional braces. Check out the Cost Calculator.
Most dental insurances plans cover Invisalign.
The Invisalign aligners must be worn 22 hours a day and have an indicator that helps parents to know if their teen is wearing them as indicated.
The aligners can be cleaned with a toothbrush and water.
If you are considering Invisalign for your teen, preteen, or yourself consult with an Invisalign doctor as they are up on the latest technologies that your dentist may not be aware of.

Have you or anyone you know had Invisalign? Would you consider Invisalign for your teen, preteen or yourself so that you can feel more Joyful about your smile and appearance?

Learn more by visiting the Invisalign Homepage

Follow Invisalign on Twitter @Invisalign

Like Invisalign on Facebook

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post. However, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

#FlashbackFriday: No Rapture!? Guess I'll Keep Chasing Joy

2013-05-03T00:00:00.000-04:00

It's Friday! Friday! Time for Flashback Friday!!!

Flashback Friday is where we link back to one of our favorite oldie but goodie posts! Simply Add a link to your posts in the linky below. Share your post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page and use the hashtag #FlashbackFriday on Twitter to promote your Flashback posts. All are welcome!!! The only rule is to visit AT LEAST TWO other flashback posts from the linky. If you link up early be sure to come back and checkout those who join the linky after you.

Before you add your link, check out some of my favorite posts form last weeks linky.

Erika (Your Chic is Showing) has a compilation of some of her best past posts and some really cute baby pictures. Bonus!

Will I Be Pretty is a great post encouraging us to not be merely pretty, but to be pretty smart, pretty talented, pretty amazing etc....

My flashback this week is No Rapture!? Guess I'll Keep Chasing Joy. This post talks about some of the things I'd accomplished since starting blogging and what I should focus on next. Funny thing is I still find myself wondering what should I focus on next.

Now, give your old post new life via the power of the linky!!!

Tell everyone you linked up. Click here to tweet -> I just linked up for #FlashbackFriday on @Chasing_Joy.

No Joy in the Jinx

2013-05-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

This past weekend was really great for me. My event went great on Saturday afternoon. On Saturday night I went to a mini bloggy boot camp with the SITS Girls where I won a mini IPad. On Sunday I meet up with my bloggy friend Your Chic is Showing for her high heels event. I had lot's of fun and connected with good joy inspiring people this weekend.

The problem came as the weekend was winding down. Since I'm into this whole blogging/ social media thing, of course I wanted to post on Facebook about my fantabulous weekend. I did not want to post in a bragging way. I wanted to post saying how thankful and blessed I felt to have had such a great weekend. The problem was I suddenly felt to anxious to write the post.

Anxiety came over me and I was afraid. I was afraid that somehow by my acknowledging blessings and showing gratitude I'd be welcoming almost encouraging something bad to happen. I imagined my mom getting sick or my dog starting to have seizures immediately after I'd hit post. I know, crazy right?

Expressing appreciation, practicing an attitude of gratitude, and counting blessings are all important components to having a more Joyful life. If you are busy celebrating good fortune and giving thanks it's kind of hard to be sad or unhappy. But we rob ourselves of this joyful experience when we hold back out of fear that our happiness will somehow trigger bad things to happen or for us to be"jinxed"

The next time you feel the urge to stifle your celebration out of fear of something bad happening please ignor that urge. The reality is both good things and bad things are going to happen when they are gong ti happen. We have little control over that. However you have complete control in how much Joy you allow yourself to experience by acknowledging your blessings. So go ahead and send that text, tweet, or Facebook post sharing your good news.

Have you ever stopped short of sharing good news out of fear that you would jinx it and welcome something negative into your life? Am I the only one?

#CJBL, Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn Recap and Live Tweet Giveaway Winner.

2013-04-29T00:45:00.002-04:00

Me and Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn
speaker Melissa Lopez, aka @Ms__Positivity

It was a success!!! I'm talking about the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn blogger and social media, inspirational networking event and meet up. .

It took place this past Saturday the 27th at Maggiano's in King of Prussia. I am thrilled with how everything went. The Joy Chaser's who attended were awesome. They came in the right spirit, ready to network and be inspired. The inspirational speaker, Melissa Lopez of Positively Shining, was so one point with her message of following your passions and BYOB, being your own boss. The food and staff at the Maggiano's in King of Prussia were wonderful. Our food was great. The wait staff in the King of Prussia room were attentive and helpful. Things could not have gone better.I am thankful for everyone who came to the event.

I appreciate the giveaways provided by the #CJBL Brunch & Learn sponsors:
A Happy Slappy Greeting
BellaNor Boutique
Chrystina Noel
CreekSide Naturals
Glitz Entertainment
& Paige Consulting
I hope everyone who one a giveaway reaches out and connects with our sponsors.

Speaking of reaching out to sponsors, there is one more giveaway to announce. This event was hosted by me, a blogger, and social media fan. It should come as no surprise that live tweeting was encouraged. The hashtag was #CJBL. A sponsor, Chrystina Noel is donating free handmade greeting cards to one attendee who shared her experience at Brunch by live tweeting. The names of everyone who live tweeted during the event were listed on random.org. The list was randomized to select a winner. The winner of handmade greeting cards by Chrystina Noel is........@MiiMiiFr3sH!!! Congrats MiiMii!!!

It was truly an awesome experience to host the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn. I'm not ready to jump right into planning another one just yet. I'm tired, LOL. Check back in with me in a couple weeks. :-) If you could not be there check out what you missed. Visit the Chasing Joy Facebook Page to see some pictures. Search the hashtag #CJBL on twitter or check out the Storify Slideshow below to see all of the live tweets form the event.

If you attended what was your impression of the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn? What events have you gone to lately and what did you like about it?

#FlashbackFriday: Chasing Joy Across the Finish Line

2013-04-26T00:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday Joy Chasers. I am excited and nervous because tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow is the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn at Maggiano's in King of Prussia. I'm happy to be hosting this event. For those of you not able to attend remember we will be live Tweeting. The hashtag is #CJBL. Follow the hashtag for tweets about following your passion and defining success for yourself.

This should be a really great weekend. I'm kicking it of right with the the Flashback today. My favorites from last week's linky are:

Tui Snider @MentalMosaic has content, photos, and Tui's own original music. Very creative!

Chanton's World is offering adorable pictures taken after she lost a negotiation with her toddler, the tennis enthusiast.

My flashback this week is Chasing Joy Across the Finish Line. I wrote this post after completing a 5k that I'd trained very hard for.

Now it's time for you to join the fun, and kick off your good weekend with the Flashback. Add a link to one of your favorite oldie but goody posts in the linky below. Share your post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page and use the hashtag #FlashbackFriday on Twitter to promote your Flashback posts. Visit AT LEAST TWO other flashback posts. If you link up early be sure to come back and checkout those who join the linky after you. Please leave a comment below saying why you selected your Flashback post and what you thought about the other Flashback posts.

How to Have a More Joyful Sex Life

2013-04-24T00:21:00.000-04:00

This weekend I tried something new. I attended a sex ed workshop at BellaNor Boutique with SHARE. SHARE is The Center for Sexual Health and Relationship Enrichment. The workshop, lead by two licensed sex, marriage, and family therapists, was enlightening, entertaining, and even a little explicit Because I like to keep it PG, or at least PG13 on the blog, I can't tell you about everything that was discussed. However, here are a few highlights

Sadly most of us were stumped by the first question the therapists asked. The question was when was the last time you felt really good about your body. Not when was the last time you felt pretty or attractive. When was the last time you felt good about your body to the point you could be naked and not be concerned about the jiggly or dimpled parts. For me, the answer is about 4 or 5 years ago :-( This is not OK. I have some work to do in the confidence department.

We discussed a little bit of anatomy. We should all know how our girly parts work, what they look like, and the proper names. During the anatomy discussion the therapists reminded us that we should always make informed decisions about our bodies. This includes decisions we make when it comes to delivering babies. The therapist advised that a very common procedure, the episiotomy, can have a negative effect on your sex life after baby. This procedure can cause scare tissue and vein damage that can make your girly parts not work as well as before. This does not mean you should not have one. However, a conversation about this common procedure should take place with your doctor before labor begins.

The overall goal of the workshop was to discuss how to have a more joyful sex life. To do this it's important for people to remember that what you do what your significant other is real and should not be compared or expected to be like what you see on TV or on those movies. Make an effort to remove what the therapists called "blockers" things that steal your focus away from enjoying your experience. Blockers are things like body image, stress, lack of time, religion issues, and past trauma and abuse.

There were some very practical things you can do to have a more joyful experience. Do things that make you feel pretty and sexy. Create a routine where you do these things for yourself. Not for your partner. Do them for yourselves to make you feel good about you. Then make sure you don't stop doing those things. Not event when life gets hectic money gets low. Make sure maintaining your pretty is a priority.

Set your bedroom up to enhance your experience. It should reflect your personality and what makes you feel sexy. There should be no toys, pictures of children or pictures of parents in your bed room. There was opinions on both sides as to whether or not a TV should be allowed in the bedroom. The idea is to not have things in the bed room that can cause you to become distracted, so no Facebooking, texting, Tweeting, or reading Chasing Joy blog in the bed room.

One practical tip that really made me think was make time for a healthy sex life. Now I have mentioned before that I have an Open Position for Joy Chasing Partner. However, how much time am I making available to go out and meet people? How often do I make time to look at the online profiles that I have on dating sites, especially the free ones that I tend to forget about. I'm thinking I need to make more time for focusing on getting a sex life. Got to get one before I can make it Joyful. LOL

Last but not least we all have to remember that having a Joyful sex life is our own responsibility It is not the sole responsibility of our partners to make us enjoy it. We have to make it a priority, know how our bodies work, work on our body image issues and confidence, decrease the blockers that distract us from our experience, set our bedrooms up to enhance and reflect our sexy side and make time for our relationships or finding them.

SHARE and BelloNor Boutique will be having other workshops in the future so stay tuned to their face book pages to stay informed.

What do you do to have a more Joyful sex life? (Nothing explicit please :-)

Earth Day: The Joy of Doing Your Part

2013-04-22T00:00:00.000-04:00

Did you know today is a holiday??? I'm not sure if Hallmark sells greeting cards for it. But that does not mean it isn't important. Today is Earth Day!!!

Earth Day is a day where we acknowledge that our planet is not as healthy as it used to be. So many of our modern conveniences have side effects that are harmful to Mother Earth. The quality of our air and water just isn't what it should be or even what it used to be. We also have way to much trash going into landfills. We even have entire islands floating in the ocean that are made up entirely of trash. I even heard that Polar Bears are dying because the glaziers that they rest on are melting. There is nothing Joyful about any of that.

I'll tell you what is Joyful, what makes me happy. Here are a few hints. If you are 3 or older you use it. It is only used once and then discarded It comes in multiple colors but white is likely the most popular. It is not important at all until you don't have it. Have you figured it out yet?
?
?
?

The answer is... Toilet Paper! I know what your thinking why in the world would toilet paper give me Joy. It find joy in toilet paper because many months ago maybe even a year ago I switched to Scott Naturals Tube Free Toilet Paper. Now I grew up using Scott, that's all my dad ever bought, and was always disappointing when trying other brands. But I only really started enjoying my toilet paper when I made the switch to Scott Naturals. LOL :-) The reason why, is because Scott Naturals toilet paper is tube free. There is no tube to throw away at the end of the roll. It is also made from 40% recycled fibers. So every time I use it I feel like I am doing my part in helping out the planet.

Now I'm sure there is more I could do. But I think every little bit helps. So my challenge to you is to find one thing you can do differently that is beneficial to our planet so that you too can experience the Joy of knowing you are doing your part.

Tell me, what can you do differently?

#FlashbackFriday: Joy Up In Smoke

2013-04-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday Joy Chasers! Time flies so I hope you are having fun. It's Friday again and time to link up one of your favorite older blog posts for the Flashback Friday link up.

Here are my favorite posts from last week's Flashback:

3 Ways To Get Fresh Ideas shows how stepping back from a problem can help you see the solution.
Janeane Davis shares the story of how she met her husband.
Great advice on what to do when a Boss Attacks Employee's Weight.

My flashback this week Joy Up in Smoke is about the conflicting emotions you can feel when wanting to others to make healthier decisions but also not wanting to nag or control them.

Now it's time for you to join the fun. Add a link to one of your favorite oldie but goody posts in the linky below. Share your post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page and use the hashtag #FlashbackFriday on Twitter to promote your Flashback posts. Visit AT LEAST TWO other flashback posts. If you link up early be sure to come back and checkout those who join the linky after you. Please leave a comment below saying why you selected your Flashback post and what you thought about the other Flashback posts.
Now that you've linked up help me spread the word about the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn by retweeting:

Get your tickets to the #CJBL Mini-Conference. Learn skills to better your biz & yourself.#Philly #Networking #prize ow.ly/jyQZG
— Chasing Joy (Arlett) (@Chasing_Joy) March 29, 2013

PS. There are only a few days left to register so do it NOW :-) Register on the Event's Page

The Joy of Going Solo, Eventually

2013-04-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

When I got to the parking lot it was full. The attendant instructed me to park in the bank parking lot. It was also full :-( I thought to myself just go home now this was a bad idea. I quickly countered this thought with another, don't chicken out now. I went back to the main parking lot and the attendant showed me another location to park.

I parked and headed into the bar. It's raining so it'll probably be dead, I thought. I thought wrong. The bar was packed. All seats taken and no room to even stand at the bar. I sat at a table top that was set for two. I ordered one drink and an appetizer.

The crowd that I had not expected seemed to all know each other. There were guys and girls around the bar who were laughing and joking together. Lots of smaller groups at table tops. Several groups of women grabbing an after work drink with the girls. There were a few couples enjoying date night. Then there was me, sitting all alone. The only girl there not part of a group. Well this sucks, I thought.

This is the story of me being brave and going to a happy hour all by myself. This was my second time doing so. While it was not the experience I was hoping for, nor was it the first time I went, I do feel proud of myself for going, for pushing out the walls of my comfort zone just a little. .I know for many of you going to a happy hour alone is no big deal. It is for me though. I am used to entering the bar/social scene among friends. Going solo is a new experience for me.

Why do it? Because as my peers and I get older more and more of them are embracing more of a family lifestyle, heading home to husbands and children. While I hope to join them in that stage of life sooner than later, I'm not there yet. So that means if I still want to partake in single life I have to 1 continue to make new single friends and 2 be brave and go solo some times.

It did not go the way I hoped. I am not as comfortable as I'd like to be going solo. Nevertheless I went. I was brave and I hope it will get easier. Going solo will be joyful, eventually.

Do you go out by yourself often? If so where do you go?

Any Questions: What's The Deal With #Hashtags?

2013-04-15T00:44:00.001-04:00

A little while ago during a Facebook conversation a Joy Chaser explained that she needed a lesson on Hashtags. So hear is all that I know about Hashtags.

I believe Hashtags started as a twitter thing. A Hashtag is formed when you place the pound/number sign in front of a word or a string of words without spaces. Here is an example of a Hashtag, #HashtagExample. The purpose of creating the Hashtag on twitter is to make a word or phrase easily searchable. When you are on twitter and click on a Hashtag other tweets using that same Hashtag will com up. This is what it looks like.

The Hashtag in this example is #ChasingJoy

The best thing about Hashtags is how they facilitate conversations on twitter. Twitter only allows you to use 140 characters or less to communicate via tweet. Between the limit on characters and how quickly your twitter stream can flow, with everyone's tweets popping up, conversations can be quite challenging. Hashtags help with that. By allowing you to see all that is being said using the Hashtag. You can even see tweets from people who you are not following. Using Hashtags to have a conversation gave rise to the twitter chat.

A twitter chat is when people have a conversation using a specific Hashtag at a scheduled time. For example the twitter chat using the Hashtag #ChasingJoy takes place the 1st Sunday of every month at 4pm EST. Other twitter chats may take place weekly or may occur only once at a special appointed time. There are apps like tweetchat.com, tweetdeck.com and hootsuite.com (I use tweetchat) that you can use by signing in via twitter to attend a tweetchat. To me the biggest benefit of using an app instead of twitter directly for a tweet chat is that the Hashtag is automatically applied to the end of your tweet so you don't have to remember to add it.

Very often a Hashtag will be created in association with a real life (not-virtual or online) event. Creating a Hashtag allows people looking for info about your event to very quickly see all of the tweets related to the event. Using a Hashtag during an event allows event attendees to connect online by seeing who else is tweeting about the event. It allows event attendees to connect with event sponsors and vice-versa. Using the Hashtag during the event also allows those who are unable to attend to participate in the online conversation as things are happening at the event.

Due to the popularity of twitter, and all things twitter related, the use of the Hashtag has spilled over into other social media sites and communications tools. I personally have used Hashtags on Facebook. I have received text and emails (from friends, not business related) with Hashtags. These Hashtags do not have a search capability as they would on twitter. In these cases they are used as a way to emphasize a word or statement.

#HashtagsAreSoCool!!!

Now I'm sure there is much more to know about Hashtags but that is that all I know :-) I hope you are ready to try out your Hashtag skills. If so, you will have a great opportunity tonight. Join myself Janeane Davis and Melisa Lopez tonight Monday April 15th for the #CJBL twitter chat. The #CJBL twitter chat is a sneak peak at the conversation that will be happening in a couple weeks at the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn. We will be tweeting about personal fulfillment following your passion, and defining success for yourself. Just search for the Hashtag on twitter or using one of the apps mentioned above to see all of the tweets. Reply back using the Hashtag #CJBL in your tweet to join the conversation.

What information can you add about Hashtags?

Who will be joining in the #CJBL twitter chat tonight?

****UPDATE****
The #CJBL Twitter Chat has been postponed out of respect for the tragedies in Boston. The chat will take place on Wednesday April 17th at 8pm EST.

#FlashbackFriday: A Thief Amongst Us

2013-04-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday!!!

It's time to revisit some of our older posts. It's time for the Flashback! But before we dive into that I have some business to take care of.

Last week I announced I was giving away 2 tickets to the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn. The Brunch & Learn is an afternoon of networking, motivational speakers, giveaways and yummy Maggiano's food. Our focus is on finding your passion and defining success for yourself. It is taking place on Saturday April 27th at the Maggiano's in King of Prussia, PA. If you have liked the Chasing Joy Facebook Page and followed me on Twitter than you already know all of that :-) What you don't know is who won the 2 tickets.

Drum roll please.................

The winner of 2 tickets to the Chasing Joy Brunch Learn is Sarah Mazzone!!!!! Congrats Sarah!!!

If you did not win maybe you'll be more lucky at the event. There will be several winning opportunities as giveaways are raffled of during the Brunch. Registration is required to attend. Just go to the Events Page to pay the registration fee. Don't wait until the last minute. Secure your spot!!!

If you are still on the fence about attending, join me along with the two event speakers Janeane Davis and Melissa Lopez for the #CJBL twitter chat. You will get a sneak peak of the Brunch discussion. The Chat is Monday April 15th at 8 pm EST.

In the mean time here is what Joy Chasers had to say about why they will be at the Chasing Joy Brunch Learn.

"For me, attending this event was a no brainer! It is always worthwhile to invest in myself." ~ Erika of your Chic is Showing

"This sounds like fun and a wonderful opportunity to meet up!" ~ Priscilla Jackson

"I am so excited to be part of this event!!!!" ~ Janeane Davis

"This is cool. I like this." ~ Chrystina Cappello

Just in case you did not know that Chasing Joy event's are awesome here is what Joy Chasers had to say about my last event, which happened to be for charity.

"I so loved the event and yes I will attend another one" ~ Authoress Evelyn Jackson (Diva-lyn Small Business Guru)

"I would join future events, because it was a relaxing atmosphere and everyone was there for the same cause to give back" ~ Authoress Evelyn Jackson (Diva-lyn Small Business Guru)

"I had a wonderful time!" - Angel of Emeralistic Treasures.

The house is packed with powerful women for #JoyofGiving @bellanor215 twitter.com/powermommy/sta…
— Uneeka Jay (@powermommy) October 27, 2012

Now on to the Falshback!!! My favorite posts from last weeks Flashback are:

5 Reasons Blogger is An Excellent Choice - With the trend of so many bloggers switching to Wordpress I like hear some of the benefits of Blogger.

A Happy Girl - Great guidelines for a Joyful life in her review of the book The Four Agreements.

My Flashback this week is A Thief Amongst Us... A Joy Thief. In this post I show how dealing with Joy thieves is similar to dealing with toddlers.

Now it is time for you to share your Flashback Friday post. Link to any post you like. Post a link to your Flashback post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page so more Joy Chasers can read it. Use the hashtag #FlashbackFriday on Twitter to promote your Flashback posts. Check out AT LEAST TWO other flashback posts. If you link up early be sure to come back and checkout those who join the linky after you. Please leave a comment below saying why you selected your Flashback post and what you thought about the other Flashback posts.

Now, give your old post new life via the power of the linky!!!

Now that you've linked up, head head over to the Chasing Joy Events Page and get your tickets to the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn. Then help spread the word about it by retweeting:

Get your tickets to the #CJBL Mini-Conference. Learn skills to better your biz & yourself.#Philly #Networking #prize ow.ly/jyQZG
— Chasing Joy (Arlett) (@Chasing_Joy) March 29, 2013

Joyful Memories for Wordless (Word-full) Wednesday!!

2013-04-10T00:00:00.000-04:00

What do you call a blogger with nothing to say???? Me. Luckily it happens to be a Wednesday. That means pictures are welcomed because it is Wordless (some times word-full) Wednesday in the Blogging world.

One of the greatest things that can happen when you are having a truly Joyful moment is to have it captured in a picture. You get to experience the Joy over and over again every time you look at the picture.

In no particular order here are some of my most Joyful moments.

I was almost 3 in this picture. It is one of my earliest memories. I "cooked" many meals in that kitchen. :-)

The day I picked out my cat Peanut!!! The picture is blurry because he would not be still. I should have known then he'd be a handful.

On this day i felt beautiful. I was not self conscious at all about my body.

This was at a family gathering. Now you see where i get my moves from. LOL

Completing the 5k was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I felt so proud of myself when I crossed the finish line!

These are just a few of my most Joyful memories.

What are your most Joyful memories that have been captured in pictures?

A Goal Oriented Life is a Joyful Life

2013-04-08T03:19:00.001-04:00

Happy Monday!!!

This weekend I attended the Women in Media Event that took place at my alma mater, Temple University. It was a great event. I’m glad I discovered it on Eventbrite. I planned to go alone and make some new friends. However I was pleasantly surprised see a few people I already knew, including Melissa Lopez, one of the speakers at the Chasing Joy Brunch &Learn. The event was a great mix of nourishing established connections and making new ones.

From my perspective the Women in Media Event’s purpose was to educate women who are in or planning to enter any of the media industries about the demographics of the industry and to encourage and offer career advice. The panel was awesome and included women from the radio, TV, and blog media industries. There was a lot of knowledge in the room and my notebook got filled with many perils of wisdom. Since its #MakeitHappenMonday I’m going to share with you the info the panel shared about goals.

Living a goal oriented life is an important component of having a Joyful life. Goals give you something to work for. They give you a purpose and a reason to push forward when times are rough. Goals allow you to experience a boost in self-esteem and confidence when they are accomplished. We all have goals. Goals are simply the things you want to do or accomplish. They can be as straight forward finishing the book you have been reading or as complicated as reaching your ideal job by age 40.

Write your goals down. This is a way of holding yourself accountable. It also makes you focus and specify exactly what the goal is. Writing out your goals enables you to see ways to break them down into smaller easier to obtain goals. A goal that is written out creates a stronger commitment with yourself to accomplish the goal.

Give yourself deadlines for accomplishing your goals. This is another way to hold yourself accountable. Meeting your deadlines gives you an incentive to stay focused on your goals. It is easy to say my goal is to do such and such but never start working towards it. Adding the deadline prevents goals from reaming goals forever.

Writing goals down and setting deadlines were not band new ideas for me, but this last bit of advice was. Identify people who can help you achieve your goals. I am not a person who often asks people (not counting my mother) for help. So it never occurred to me to identify people who could help me accomplish my goals. The people in our lives can be great resources. I don’t know about you but I have some smart and talented people in my life. There are many ways in which they could help me with my goals including encouragement, advice, and accountability.

Do you write out your goals, set deadlines, and get help from others to accomplish them?

Since it is #MakeitHappenMonday share your goals with other Joy Chasers by posting them on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page or tweeting them with the hashtag #MakeitHappenMonday

#FlashbackFriday: 5 Answers

2013-04-05T00:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday Everyone,

I hope you all had a great week. The most exciting things for me this week were setting up the giveaway offering 2 free tickets to the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn and reading the post on Your Chic is Showing about why Erika is coming to the Brunch. You should check both of those out.

My favorite post of those linked up last week are:
The Pro Diva - This post is about the Diva realizing she was letting herself go a bit and recommitted to loving herself better.
Ms. Pillowz - My real life friend who inspired me to start blogging is back from her blogging hiatus. Yay!!!

This week my Flashback post is 5 Answers. In 5 Answers you get to know me a little better because as the title implies I give 5 answers to 5 questions. :-)

Now it is time for you to share your Flashback Friday post. Pick out your link for Flashback Friday and add it below. Link to any post you like. Now post a link to your Flashback post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page so more Joy Chasers can read it. Use the hashtag #FlashbackFriday on Twitter to promote your Flashback posts. Then, make sure you check out AT LEAST TWO other flashback posts. I suggest the two links before your post to make it easy. If you link up early be sure to come back and checkout those who join the linky after you. Please leave a comment below saying why you selected your Flashback post and what you thought about the other Flashback posts.

Now, give your old post new life via the power of the linky!!!

Once you've linked up head head over to the Chasing Joy Events Page and get your tickets to the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn. Then help spread the word about it by retweeting:

Get your tickets to the #CJBL Mini-Conference. Learn skills to better your biz & yourself.#Philly #Networking #prize ow.ly/jyQZG
— Chasing Joy (Arlett) (@Chasing_Joy) March 29, 2013

Blogging Makes You Brave Giveaway!!!

2013-04-03T00:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday for #TuesdaysTips Sandy posted on the Chasing Joy Facebook page, “You have to be brave with your life, so that others can be brave with theirs.” Sandy had no clue how timely her comment was. With the Chasing Joy Brunch and Learn just around the corner I have been reflecting on this blogger journey that I've been on. I have come up with one major conclusion. BLOGGING MAKES YOU BRAVE!!!

When I started this blog over 3 years and 387 posts ago I did not have any clue where it would take me. The sole purpose of this blog was to give me something to do to take my mind off of the grief that I was experiencing and refocus on happiness, gratitude, optimism, and Joyful things. That purpose and more has been fulfilled. I have gone from having way to much idle time to trying to figure out how to get all my blog stuff, social stuff, and work stuff done and still make it to bed at a reasonable hour.

My time has been filled with so many things that I never imagined for myself. While I cant quite say I've fully stepped out of my comfort zone I have made said zone significantly bigger.

Because of Blogging I have:

Taken Ballet Classes
Completed a 5 K
Traveled out of state by myself and not for the day job
Did a little public speaking
Had a charity event
Attended Conferences and events where I did not know anyone else
Made New Friends
Designed my own Bookmarks
Entered a beauty contest
and
Been more honest than any other point in my life.

But by far the bravest think I've done to date is plan my own networking and inspirational event, the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn. I am putting myself out there and severely expanding that good old comfort zone. In planning and executing this event I have had and will have to do several things I am not comfortable doing. Sales. Asking for help. Talking to strangers. Accepting unsolicited yet well meaning advice. Being the center of attention. Last but not least, public speaking. I will be brave!

What is the bravest thing you have done lately?

I am proof that blogging makes you brave. You can come see me at my bravest at the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn. At the Brunch we will be inspired to live more Joyfully by defining success for ourselves and following our passions. Details can be found here. Tickets are on sale now but you can win a pair for yourself by following the Rafflecopter instructions below. Good Luck!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Strut Your Stuff & Make Wearing Heels a Joyful Experience

2013-04-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

I think it's finally OK for me to wear a skirt. I know some of you have been waiting for spring to arrive and the weather to warm up before you pulled out the skirts and dresses. That's not what I've been waiting for. I have been waiting for my knees to heal. A few weeks ago while out with a couple girlfriends I took a tumble and scraped both of my knees. The good thing was I fell while walking to the car and not inside of the crowded bowling alley we were headed too (for the record, the fall also took place before any alcohol was consumed). The bad thing was prior to going out I had spent at least 30 minutes deciding which shoes to wear. I'd picked out a sensible boot with a very low heel to avoid taking such tumble. Yet there I was on the ground with skinned knees.

Last summer I was in a wedding. During the rehearsal all of the men were excited, dancing around and being playful. All of us women were worried about our shoes. The shoes were beautiful but much higher than what we'd normally wear. We worried about tripping down the isle and stumbling up or down the pulpit steps. We all made it through the ceremony without any mishaps or skinned knees.

Just these two examples show you that high heels = stress, at least for me. I have pairs and pairs of shoes that I hardly ever wear because I don't feel comfortable in them. Or I know they will hurt so bad that I wont make it through the day wearing them. I have purchased and then donated to the Salvation Army pair after pair of shoes.

So why not just give up completely and be an I only wear flats girl??? Because heels make you feel sexy. They make your legs look leaner and longer. They are the finishing touch that takes an OK outfit and kicks it up to an awesome outfit. Lucky for me Erica, who blogs at Your Chic is Showing is having a high heel tutorial to teach you high heel challenged women like me how to Strut Your Stuff. The event will address tackling the runway or the hallway in those hard to manage heels, figure out the best outfits for your favorite kicks, and learn about the hottest shoe trends for 2013. I cant wait!!!

Strut Your Stuff is free and taking place at Stilettos in the Cherry Hill Mall in New Jersey from 2 to 4 pm on Sunday April 28th (the day after the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn). I hope some of you will join me. I know I cant be the only one who struggles with heels. So who's with me? Register here before are all the tickets are gone!!! Come to Strut Your Stuff and learn how to make wearing heel a Joyful experience.

Do you ever struggle with heels? Tell me your worst heel experience If your a high heel pro what tip can you give me on how I can have a better experience?

#FlashbackFriday: I Survived!

2013-03-29T00:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday. This is the first time in several weeks that I don't have anywhere I have to be this weekend. I don't do anything big for Easter so I'll have plenty of time to read lots of blogs, including yours if you join the linky :-)

Here are my favorite posts from last weeks Flashback Friday!

Why Yes, I DID Need You To Tell Me I was Fat! reminds us that words do hurt and when you tell someone they are gaining weight in 99% of the cases the person already knows.
Is it my birthday already? tells us to look at our birthdays from the bright side.

This week I am Flashing back to I Survived, a post celebrating my having made it through a particularly difficult week. Do you ever give yourself credit for getting through difficult time without losing your mind or integrity?

Now it is time for you to share your Flashback Friday post. Pick out your link for Flashback Friday and add it below. Link to any post you like. Now post a link to your Flashback post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page so more Joy Chasers can read it. Use the hashtag #FlashbackFriday or #FBF on Twitter to promote your Flashback posts. Then, make sure you check out AT LEAST TWO other flashback posts. I suggest the two links before your post to make it easy. If you link up early be sure to come back and checkout those who join the linky after you. Please leave a comment below saying why you selected your Flashback post and what you thought about the other Flashback posts.

Now, give your old post new life via the power of the linky!!!

Once you've linked up head head over to the Chasing Joy Events Page and get your tickets to the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn. Then help spread the word about it by retweeting:

Get your tickets to the #CJBL Mini-Conference. Learn skills to better your biz & yourself.#Philly #Networking #prize ow.ly/jyQZG
— Chasing Joy (Arlett) (@Chasing_Joy) March 29, 2013

Marriage, Finances, & Mary Mary! Inspiration & Music Conference Recap Part 2 #PraiseIMC2013

2013-03-26T23:58:00.000-04:00

On Monday I started telling you about my experience at the Inspiration & Music Conference this past weekend. Today, I'm going to finish with my recap.

After checking in at the conference my brother and I checked out the vendors and headed to our respective workshops. I headed to the Single & Saved workshop that I started telling you about. Here is a little more food for thought for us singles.

When considering a relationship with someone look for someone who brings things (joy, peace, support) to you not take things away from you.. "We all have baggage, find someone to help you unpack" said panelist Dr. Laverne Adams.
Christians, there is more to being equally yoked than both people believing in Jesus.
Your ego tells you to find someone like you. Someone, "on your level". What you need is to find someone to compliment you. Find someone who is strong in the areas where you are weak.

While I was in the Single & Saved workshop my brother attended Marriage Beyond the Vows. Below are his top takeaways from the workshop.

Do not attempt to balance your marriage with other priorities. Balance implies there is something else of equal importance.
Husbands and wives should be in a joyful competition to outdo each other doing for each other. Race to be the first to do something nice, give a kind word, or get to a household chore. Be more concerned about what you can give than what you need.
Check out my brother on video talking about the Marriage Beyond the Vows workshop.

After lunch we headed over to Faith & Finances workshop. Here are the highlights

Don't be Lot's Wife, Look Ahead!!! We have all made financial and other decisions that were not the best. Don't dwell on your past mistakes. Look forward.
Know your rights when it comes to Bankruptcy. There are different types of bankruptcies for different situations. Bankruptcy can protect 100% of retirement income. Contact a bankruptcy lawyer before you go into your retirement income to pay your debts.
If you enter a settlement agreement with a creditor and get your some of your debts forgiven, be prepared to pay tax on the amount forgiven. According to the IRS forgiveness of debt = income that you have to pay tax on.
Avoid going into debt in the first place. "Wait for it, save for it, pay for it" says speaker Georgette Miller. Use Cash. It was pointed out that there was a time in the United States when Blacks could not borrow money. Now many of us believe we cannot live without debt. This point really hit home with me.
While we don't like to think about it death is a part of life. Prepare for it with a will and life insurance. Go through your budget looking for things that don't add value to your life. Cut these things to free up money for life insurance.
Term life insurance is good for a certain period of time, a certain number of years. For example the number of years when you will have a mortgage or have childcare to pay for.
Permanent life insurance does not have a cut off time and can be used to offset retirement income.
Get insurance early in life before anything happens later that could deem you uninsurable.
To determine how much life insurance you need think about what expenses your loved ones will have to cover.

funeral expenses
Loss of income
Childcare cost
Mortgage expenses
etc...

The highlight of the day for me was the final workshop, a session with Tina and Erica of the gospel group Mary Mary. They looked just as beautiful in person as on their reality show. They acted the same way too, teasing each other as they answered audience questions. Several people gave testimony on how Mary Mary's music had inspired and helped them to overcome obstacles. It is amazing to see how others can be touched by our actions. People asked several questions about how to get into the music industry, become song writers, performers, etc. The advice Tina and Erica gave can be taken for any goal. Strive for excellence, be likable and be professional.

Tina also gave advice that definitely applies to those of us who are Chasing Joy. Tina said practice being happy. Practice being optimistic. Focus on things that are praise worthy. Misery takes work! I don't know about you but I'd rather work on Joy than on misery.

There was so much info to soak up at the conference. Which of the above tips can you apply to your life?

Could You Live With You? Single & Saved Workshop, Inspiration & Music Conference Recap. Part 1

2013-03-25T01:28:00.000-04:00

On Saturday I had the privileged of attending the Praise 103.9's Inspiration & Music Conference. The conference was great. There were workshops, vendors, followed by a concert. I was not able to stay for the concert but I did go to several workshops including the Q & A with Mary Mary. The Q & A with The Marys was a highlight for me as I love their show on WeTv. It was an informative and inspiring day, one living up to the name of the event.

I invited my brother to come along with me to the conference. He was an excellent choice. We were able to split up for the first set of workshops. I attended Single and Saved while he attended Marriage Beyond the Vows.
Here are my takeaways from Single and Saved:

Lots of us who are single say we are ready to have a relationship. But are you really? Are their parts of you that are not ready? What are you doing to prepare yourself for a partner? Ask yourself, what is it like to live with me???
None of us are perfect. Know the parts of you that are a mess so you can work on them.
Your relationship with yourself is non-negotiable. Learn to love yourself.
Be comfortable in your singleness. Take advantage of the fact that you have time to focus on yourself, your relationship with God, and the things that God has placed in your life like Chasing Joy. Now is the time to focus on things that would suffer if your attention was divided.
When you have mastered your relationship with God and yourself God will see that you are ready for additional relationships. When this has happened and when God decides that it is not good for you to be alone He will send your partner.
We all have issues from our past that can get in the way of having a relationship or a successful one. Regarding those issues we need to uncover and discover so we can recover so that you are ready for a healthy relationship.

I think a lot of these points can also apply to those who are married. Have you ever thought about what is it like for your spouse to live with you. Do you know what parts of you are a mess? Are there uncovered issues from your past that are impacting your marriage or how you relate to your spouse?

Of the points above the ones that resonated the most with me were when you have mastered your relationship with yourself and God He will see that you are ready for a relationship. I think my relationship with God is good and steadily improving. My relationship with myself is still not where I'd want it to be. Just today I had to post on both Twitter and the Chasing Joy FB page, "No Negative Self Talk" because I caught myself looking in the mirror engaging in that bad habit. There is much room for improvement in my relationship with myself.

There is much more info for me to pass on from the conference but I don't want to bore you with too much at one time. Later this week I'll continue the recap with more takeaways fro the Single & Saved workshop, my brother's takeaways from the Marriage Beyond the Vows workshop, tips from the Faith & Finances workshop, and the awesomeness of Mary Mary.

If you are single do any of the above resonate with you? Are you ready for a relationship? If you are married which if any of the above do you feel is a beneficial takeaway for a married person?