Chasing Squirrels

Gratitude Day 2: Full Moons & Mushrooms. Also, Food & Feminism.

2018-10-25T15:59:00.000-04:00

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SO👏
You can safely assume that if I am posting on this blog, that I'm most likely in my Studio, drinking ☕, having enjoyed my morning medication and taken in something that uplifts, educates, and inspires me.
This morning ritual makes my entire day better.
And, in turn, entire existence.

This morning, I even ate within an hour of waking.

The Essential Baking Company Super Seeded, Gluten free bread, Kraft Extra Smooth, Sliced banana, and Ontario Strawberries.

This is a big deal for me and I'll come back to my relationship with food and trying to make better habits in a subsequent post.

SO👏
This morning I watched The rest of the documentary that I started last night Feminists: What Were They Thinking on Netflix. It was awesome.
I need to watch it a second time to take notes, frankly.
There was a lot of things touched on that I want to explore more fully.
It was powerful.
It brought me to tears a few times.
I've never felt more proud of being a woman than when i watched countless trailblazers of Amazon women taking on the world, demanding - fighting - for some of the things that we're a still fighting for, some things that these women, through hard work and relentless activism... radically living with purpose and intent... gah.
Overwhelmingly INCREDIBLE!!!
SO👏
Watch it.
You won't be sorry.

GRATITUDE!!!!👏
Day 2. 👏
YAASSSSS👏👏👏👏👏
Full👏 Moon👏 Magic👏!!!
🌕♉

Last night, as mentioned in the previous post, was the full moon of Taurus.
I am a Taurus, so this is, essentially, my moon.
In an effort to add new habits and get on a serious path of consistent levelling up in life, I decided to really dive into my divine feminine - embrace my inner goddess.
One way that really resonates with me is moon rituals.
Now, I don't follow any books, literature, or instructions of any sort.
I do whatever I feel compelled to do.
In past months, I've been aware that the full moon and new moon are happening.
I sorta-kinda-not-really set some hypothetical intentions and vapidly 'let go' of what no longer serves me, without putting in any real effort whatsoever.
Guess what that results in?
Equally mediocre, half-hearted, non-committal-type responses from the universe.
Shocker, eh?😱😂

SO👏
In an effort to change, last night i made and ate a really good dinner,

German Cuisine: from the roots of my 1st Generation Canadian, Paternal Grandma.
Pork Schnitzel, Sweet & Sour Red Cabbage, Hot Potato Salad (links with photos below)

I ran the dishwasher, got everything settled, then ate not quite an eighth of mushrooms, (which is enough to get me where I want to go so far as ascension, but not lose my faculties or ability to function), ground up and mixed with a spoonful of PC Tzatziki.

Psilocybin Mushrooms

I went to my studio to kill some time while I waited.
This is when I started the aforementioned documentary.
I smoked a couple bowls and drank lots of water to counteract the nausea that always happens when I take mushrooms.
I've been doing mushrooms for about 16 years now. Not super regularly, but I really love them.
I did them when I was younger just to trip balls and escape for a few hours (ate a quarter oz to get to that level of 'reality').
Now I do them for the spiritual experience and the ability to use the medicine to help me ascend, bend my mind, and consider possibilities given to me directly from the Universe.
After about 20 minutes, I started to feel things blur around the edges and I got myself ready to go outside to bask in the light of the moon.
It was clear and crisp and bright.
Massive, so close and so far.
I wrapped myself up in 2 blankies, and moved my hammock so it was under the big walnut tree, with the moon shining through and got in.
I could feel the light on my face when I closed my eyes.

Full Moon through the Old Walnut Tree from my Samsung Galaxy S7, in my back yard in St Thomas, Ontario

I sat in the hammock so my feet were on the ground and I just swung.
For about an hour.
It was cold, but mostly I wasn't really aware of that.
Just in passing moments.
I just let myself bathe in the light. open to all the quiet, still power of the moons ability to amplify and transform the Universe's cosmic energy.
It was glorious.
Peaceful.
I was grateful - am grateful.
Eternally.
I swung.
I basked.
I gave thanks.

After about an hour, I came in the house, went to bed in the dark, and continued to let myself travel to parts unknown.
Partly meditative, partly lucid dreaming and still, every now and then, grounding myself back into this reality so that I could make mental notes about what I was experiencing.

I won't get into the 3 sort of major takeaway points I had too deeply, but one - the first one - that struck me so profoundly was that

I'm never sleeping. Just awake somewhere else.

The second was a vision of me slipping behind this heavy, blue, sort of velvety curtain and finding myself seemingly invisible - at least unnoticed - in a room full of men.
Mostly white, a few who weren't.
There was a distinct presence that I recognized as Russian, and - although I never fully saw faces as they weren't looking in my direction - they all seemed to be working on something that was serious and spoke to each other in hushed, grave tones.
I kept coming in and out of this space, wondering how long they were going to allow it to go on before someone acknowledged me (as I felt they KNEW I was there but were seemingly unconcerned) and wanted to know how I got there and why.
So I stopped going in, not wanting to press my luck.
I intend to explore this further after looking into it a bit.
Here's hoping that this post didn't put me on some lists. 😂😂😂
But really though.😧

The third thing I saw was something that I recognized as myself.
I was like a giant fiery phoenix.
Both feather and fabric.
Comprised of sheer and lace.
Flowing and glowing in light I appeared to emit, in an otherwise great and darkened hallway of myself.
Where my light shone, I could see that this space was also made of red, rich, flowing tapestries.
I was GLORIOUS.
I am glorious.
Powerful.
Divine.

I will most likely spend the rest of my day, going about my business, but all the while, meditating on these events and what they might be telling me. By all means, if you have any thoughts to share with regards to this, please do. All insights are of valued information.

The biggest take away from ALL OF THIS is that I have started to see myself as abundant.
Instead of scarce.

I have enough.

I am enough.

I can give of my abundance and share my wealth.
I can exchange energy as currency, not just money energy.
I have things of value to contribute.
I have divine purpose.

I'm excited about life.

I have no idea where it will take me but for the first time I'm really not scared or worried.
Just open.
Excited.
Invigourated.

GRATEFUL

Full moons.🌕
Full moon magic.♉🌕🌟
Magic mushrooms.🍄

YYYYAAAASSSSSSSS

Be blessed and be a blessing!

XO

K

Recipes From Last Night's Dinner!

All were converted to Gluten Free by substituting with Gluten Free flour, bread crumbs, and thickener. All vinegar used was Apple Cider Vinegar

Sweet & Sour Red Cabbage
For this I used the Red Wine option.

Hot Potato Salad

Pork Schnitzel
Added onion powder, garlic salt, and parsley flakes to the bread crumbs.

Gratitude

2018-10-24T12:54:00.000-04:00

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SO👏
As I've been formulating and nourishing this post in my head since the spark of an idea came to me about 10 min or so ago, my mind has gone in SEVERAL directions. Hopefully I don't lose any in transit becuase this could be interesting. 😂😂😂 Ah, a little adhd and morning bong rips. It's a good life.🙌💓

SO👏
I'm sitting in my studio ( www.facebook.com/hamsahippiehealing/ ), enjoying my quiet morning hours alone, while my 10 yr old (I KNOW RIGHT?!? She's getting SUPER grown!) sleeps (remind me to come back to this)...
I LOVE this time of day because it's MY time. I try to get some down time on both ends of the day, but morning FOR SURE.
My morning routine is coffee, a couple of bowls, and something to watch that either makes me feel good or really think. I'm actually trying to take my own advice and start making one new healthy habit, as often as I can cope with adding them in.

SO👏
This brings me to this post, as I decided that really, I needed more gratitude in my life.
Life has been a struggle lately and I've started to come of the darkness and just recognize and ACCEPT that I need certain things to function.
I'm an empath and an introvert and a Kundalini Sorceress (thank your Mary Louise🙌).

THERE👏 IS A LOT👏 GOING👏 ON HERE.👏 😂👐💓

I need connection.
Human, adult connection.
That's what fills me up and gives me my power💪 and motivation,
Energetically, male, the opposite to my own, is what literally fuels my fire.
(Women do something totally different for me that is absolutely transcendent and beautiful and sacred, but male energy is literally like putting petrol in your vehicle for me)
At Any Rate.
Obviously, I digress.
As the fuck I am want to do. (Squirrel)

SO👏
This morning I woke up REALLY wanting to watch Russell Brand's (I LOVE HIM) video about Kanye. (link below)
No expectations. Just absolute curiosity and tbh I hadn't even really seen what Ye had said because i wasn't that interested But, I WAS interested in what RB thought about it. This seemed like a good way to get the skinny on Ye without ACTUALLY having to watch Ye, ya know?

SO👏
I opened my YouTube app on my phone, and first saw this TedTalk about orgasms so I watched that first (albeit with some internal struggle and then acquiescing) because it SEEMED like the fates demanded it.

(Link below)

I did the smoking 2 bowls part of this morning ritual whilst watching this video and drinking coffee. Hence this post. 😂😂😂
The video was awesome and I intend to share in on whatever platforms of social media that I subscribe to as I just really liked the whole thing. (It was pretty hetero normative slant, but I think the presenter was so... that makes sense)
I liked her. She made me laugh. She was... quip-ish and wholesome, despite the stigma of her topic and being a woman talking on it 😱(gasp).
She taught me new things.
10/10

SO👏
I'm watching Russell Brand and my coffee is 3/4 of the way gone, I wanna get more, and I am waiting for him to pause so I can pause it (he edits them out.)
**Very tricky of you Russell. How am I to get some more coffee, Mate? TAKE AN UNEDITED BREATH, LOVE!**
I go out to the kitchen. All happy from my caffeine upper and my weed 'euphoria' (i hate that they call it that. I don't feel euphoric all the time, let me tell you, and if I'm at home i tend to stay low-key lit all day. Purely medicinal.)

I get my Silk Coconut Milk (that's my favourite one. but usually have pc points for So Delicious and it comes in tetras that i can store in the pantry so... practicality and savings wins. This time Checkout 51 had a $0.50 cash back so I went for it!) out of the fridge and just get this OVERWHELMING sense of gratitude that I live a life where I can get coconut milk in a carton for my coffee.
I really don't use it in anything else. I don't really drink it. Maybe 2x/yr with some gf 'oreos'.
I can't drink cows milk without it making me really wish I hadn't. and now it always tasted slightly of cow to me, since I've gone off it so long.

I was so grateful for this coconut milk. Because I love my coffee☕ and wanted to be able to keep on loving it and reduce my sugar intake ( Although, I got original this time, inadvertently).

So then I decided that I should start a gratitude journal.
My friend Kasey had posted about her stack of old journals on fb and about how she wondered why she held on to them and decided to release them. I loved that thought. I love her. She is powerful and incredible. aA mighty woman.

I've been getting told to journal FOREVER in my life. Since I was a kid. I always knew people who did. I lacked the discipline.
It's time to change that.
I need to take better care of myself.
I'm not gettin' any damned younger. 😂

So, I pondered quickly,(as i do) and processed how I should do this.
What notebook is should use.
If I use a notebook, should I purpose an old one or crack a fresh one.
Do i really want to hand write it, because that is so slow and doesn't allow my brain to keep from losing thoughts, since typing can get my thoughts out faster.
MUCH FASTER.
Especially since I learned to get it out and edit AFTER and not let my OCD control me and cause me to fail.
I control it.
IT will get fixed before it gets published. I type better when I look at my hands. I played the piano the same way.

SO👏
Then I thought about this little old blog sitting unused on the interwebs.
Another thing that i didn't ever complete because of OCD and allowing it to be a block not being able to get started.
(Props to Dr Stephanie Rimka for recommending that book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert, of Eat, Pray, Love fame.. I haven't read it all yet but the things you said about it planted seeds and have ultimately brought me here now. I did buy it and i started it yesterday. Credit again to Kasey for the gift that is Dr Rimka, and for telling me to just read the danged book).

SO👏
This will be the place I do my journal. At least some of it. I'm so temped to just be 100% raw and real and bear it all. But... maybe not QUITE yet.
You'll keep getting a good slice, for sure.
So, today I'm grateful for coconut milk.
In my coffee.
While I sit in my happy, quiet, sacred space and do my morning habits, and keep adding new ones.
I am grateful for personal evolution.
I'm grateful for recognizing my gifts and self investing and self care.
I'm grateful to those who play their part in helping make all of it possible.
The souls who surround me who help to create such an abundant human experience.

It is not lost on me that this is on the eve of the full moon of Taurus.
That I, a typical Taurus, am embarking on this journey at this time.
I am starting to empower myself.
I gotta grab life by the balls and do the things I'm destined to do.
It's gotta start somewhere.
And I just had to start.
So here it is.

Thanks for joining me on the journey.
We all need a witness.

Bless!✌💓💋
xo

K

**now to finish that RB on Ye video! LOL**

orgasm tedtalk

Joy follows struggle.

2015-05-22T11:47:00.001-04:00

So two things:

First, my daughter has a phrase that she likes to say when she is fully successful at something she's attempted or when she's completed a task, etc. That phrase is "Boom Shakalaka".

I don't know what it means but it seems to give her a sense of victory or the victory procedes it and that's how she exclaims, expresses, verbalizes that. At any rate it's what she says and it always makes me feel joy when I see the look on her face of satisfaction and victory and utters that phrase.
.
Secondly, I find myself feeling melancholy, more introspective than usual, perhaps just having a... well, at one point I guess I would have called it a "low day" but I feel that would be a misnomer at this point.
Because I find myself.... allowing the feeling and being present in it because were it not for days like this, I would have no comparison or contrast for days where the joy is unmistakable and easily identifiable.

So while today is a physical struggle -- due to nagging a headache and really feeling the sinus blockage and sore this and sore that like every other day, although especially so today -- I still choose to embrace the struggle, because I recognize that my "low points" only magnify the high points that most assuredly will appear.
I embrace the struggle so that I might be open to and aware of and seeing to embrace the joy.

Well, I guess actually three things: because I also observe, that while I relish the sunshine and finding peace and gentle tranquility in my day, having a hippie lawn mower really does mean you have to mow your lawn every couple of days to stay on top of it and not be "that neighbour ", so hooray for sore knees? Lol

The Struggle Is Real ( And admitting it is okay and even cathartic)

2015-03-20T18:41:00.001-04:00

I am struggling.
I'm struggling with stress from finances.
I'm struggling with using old, familiar, unhealthy (mainly dietary) (destructive) coping tactics (junk food binging) in the face of increased, ongoing, uncontrollable stress.
I'm struggling with moving forward.
Life is in limbo for up to the next year.
Not being able to make plans for the future cripples me with fear.
With all the work I've put in on undoing bad habits, creating a positive inner voice, I'm paralyzed by fear of the unknown and unable to keep working on reversing and surpassing.
I am struggling and even admitting it is dangerous because there are those who will read this and try to use it against me.
But I have to admit it.
I must speak it.
Because in past, I haven't and it's made it worse.
I don't need sympathy or pity.
I don't need placating comments, or cliches, or well meaning platitudes.
I just need to be able to say, out loud, standing firmly in my fear, that
I
Am
Struggling.

It will pass.
It always does.
I'll survive, as we do, because we always do.
I'll never choose to give up.
It will never be more than I can bear.
But for now......

I struggle.

Mini Minecraft Monster!

2014-09-21T12:03:00.001-04:00

So I bought ‪#‎Minecraft‬ pocket edition for B (my 6 yr old) last night. I can get her to do almost nothing today as she is firmly attached to her tablet, more so than usual. I may have created a monster. I'm already greeted by that 'teen' eye rolling and laboured sigh when I ask her to tidy up her toys that are all over the living room (because her room is too overwhelming for either of us to even fathom unaided). I am reticent to look forward to the pubescent years at this rate.
Love this kid.

Just a thought!

2014-09-20T09:03:00.000-04:00

This was a post that I made this morning in a fb group I belong to called GE Ascension.
I thought it was a good blog post as well, since this was a closed group.

I wake up earlier than I 'need' to, almost every day (0600-0700). In this up to 3 hour period of time, I have some quiet bathroom time (even at the age of 6 going on 25, she still needs SOMETHING while I'm droppin' it like it's hot!), coffee and bong rips and internet surfing for things pertaining to our unschooling methods (this morning was tie dying with Sharpies and isopropyl, some mornings it's the neuroscience and neurodevelopment of my child at this age, looking for questions that she wanted answers to that I didn't have at that moment, etc.) Start laundry and clean the kitchen/run dishwasher (if it's a weekend or before 6am), shower in peace for as long as I want. This is my TIME! By 0900 I know that my time is going to be over, any minute. So I start every single day trying to be present, to recharge and just enjoy being alive!
I gotta tell ya, it's starting to become a habit.
Would you call this meditation? I don't know. I"m still waiting for someone to tell me exactly how to do that. (I don't get the whole 'blank mind thing... could be the ADHD)
What I do know is that I'm happier, less snappy, starting to change the dialogue of my inner voice to one of positivity and empowerment rather than self loathing and harsh, biased, criticisms. I'm less judgemental and scathing toward others as well (mostly in my head... I can be a REAL frosty, calculating, cunt in my head).
It's something I had to do.
I wanted my daughter to grow up with a kind inner dialogue, not one where she was constantly chastising and criticizing herself.
The ONLY way to achieve that FOR SURE is to LIVE IT.
So, I'm getting there. Slowly but surely. It's so fucking cliche that it makes me cringe, but the truth in it is undeniable: 'Be the change that you wish to see in the world." Mahatma Ghandi
Happy weekend!
Be gettin' irie!

Happy New Year!

2014-01-01T11:47:00.001-05:00

Just a quick thought...
we talk about the new year like the passing of the clock will make things better...
you will only ever reap what you sow... each day that you awake is a new day and a new chance to try to be as authentic to yourself as you can be, while honouring those around you and being dignified and respectful and LOVING towards them...
just my 2 cents.
'via Blog this'

Fibromyalgia: Do You Really Get It?

2013-05-15T09:48:00.001-04:00

A little of a year ago, my life was changed forever.

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.

I was a single mom of a just turned 4 year old.

I was DEVASTATED.

Fibro is like kids. Unless you have it. you don't really get it. You can understand the concept 'kinda' but you don't REALLY 'GET IT' until you experience it.

Unlike kids, it's not really a rewarding experience.

This is a good explanation of just the PAIN portion of what we deal with

The Ridiculously Long List Of Fibro Symptoms

Out of the 275 symptoms listed here, I have experienced 146 of them. (I can specify which they are if you really want to know.) Some of those are constant, some are intermittent from weekly to monthly. There are also other things I suffer from which aren't listed here, so I'm unsure if they're even fibro related. Fibro is the Lupus that 'won't kill us'. It's still just as debilitating, just with no end game.

I'm not posting this for sympathy. I don't need that. I'm posting it for understanding. I know some of you silently judge me and think it's all a pile of shit. I wish that were the case.

Suggesting I just exercise is the WRONG FUCKING THING TO SAY!
When every part of your body is screaming at you and you haven't even gotten out of bed yet, are you going to have the fortitude to exercise?

(Did I mention that even though you're awake after 6-8 hours sleep, you're STILL tired? The only reason you get up is because you're uncomfortable in the bed and have to pee.)

No. You're not.

Especially when you know that the exercise will not only be painful while you do it, but tomorrow and for as many as 4 days after, you'll pay for it with exponentially multiplied pain.

But guess what? You can't just loaf about til you feel better, because you may NEVER FEEL ANY BETTER.

This may NOW BE as GOOD AS YOU"LL EVER FEEL AGAIN.

You really hope that isn't true, but the pain didn't used to be THIS bad on a regular basis, so it only stands to reason that it most likely will continue it's slow ascent.

It's terrifying.

So feel free to fuck right off, because that is what YOU can exercise.

Thanks.

Day 9 cont'd

2013-04-23T19:08:00.001-04:00

Afternoon's juice

1 mango
2 organic oranges
1 handful cilantro
1 bunch watercress
1" ginger
Juice of 1 lime
2 pear
3 sm cucumber
2 granny Smith apples.

After another shop, we've replenished fruit mountain and the fridge is packed all the way to the back with fresh veg.

Day 9 of lard losing.

2013-04-23T15:39:00.001-04:00

Last night was a bad night for before bedtime binging, although not nearly as bad as its been in the past and half of it was a bowl of strawberries and to them applied about 2 Tbsp of chocolate cream cheese. My stomach has vastly shrunk. The guilt is filthy, knowing its setting me back and fooling no one. Fuck. Try again tomorrow night. On the upside, I was asleep before 2100 last night so the binge ended really quickly and early.

Morning juice 2 lg handfuls spinach 1 beet no greens 1 1/2" ginger Red pepper 2 celery stalks 1 zucchini 3 organic galas 3 organic oranges

Day 8 of Fighting the Fat!

2013-04-22T15:07:00.001-04:00

So yesterday I was SO very ill. I felt like I was run over a train and then stampeded by a herd of angry rhinos. It was horrible. I had a juice in the morning and it was literally all I could muster. The rest of the day was spent in bed with B, watching movies on TMN and napping.

This morning, Boy Wonder had it too. I had a dose of oil of oregano and made us (BW watched the documentary and has decided to join me in juicing, YAY!) some juice.

1/2 bunch swiss chard
1 pineapple peeled, but NOT cored ( a TON of nutrients are in the core and it's not too tough to juice)
8 small organic cucumbers
1 peeled lemon
1 1/2" ginger
2 med carrots

I then went about cleaning and laundering all the clothes and bedding, super excited to FINALLY get to revive line drying!

Lunch time rolled around and I made another juice for BW and myself.

2 zucchini
1 lg green pepper
3 small red peppers
1 small yellow pepper
2 celery stalks
3 cloves garlic
2 beets with greens
1 pint grape tomatoes
2 large tomatoes
1/2 romaine heart

I've gotten nearly all the laundry done and enough housework to say it's been a successful and productive day!

How we should be eating.

2013-04-20T23:44:00.001-04:00

Here are some great illustrations for the way I'm eating.

Day 6

2013-04-20T21:29:00.001-04:00

Well, I've lost 16 so far. This weekend I've totally indulged and eaten some crap, but still had juice and water too.
This morning's juice was one I just threw together.
6 pears
2 cups mixed fruit (listed most to least: cantaloupe, honey dew, pineapple, grapes, blueberries)
5 leaves of romaine.

I've eaten about a pound of grapes today, and dinner was the photo.

No junk tomorrow, though. That was enough for one week. This Friday is my birthday weekend, so that will be indulgent, no doubt.

I never posted this about 4 mos ago when I wrote it.

2013-04-19T15:39:00.000-04:00

So! I came home at about 2100 tonight put my beautiful sleeping baby into bed, was yakking on the phone and then checked the mail. This is what I found:

This paper is merely a scrap. About a 1/4 of an 8.5x11. Clearly this was due to the mass productions (you could tell they'd photocopied it) and most likely, on the other 3/4 of the page that is NOT here, the exact same words would be found. These people are on a mission. ;) Please note that this is typed VERBATIM! It was in no way altered or changed. Same spelling and grammatical structure, to-the-tee!

This Same Jesus (this was also underlined)
Acts1:9 After He said this, He was taken before their eyes and a cloud hid Him from their sight. 1:10, They were looking intently up in the sky as He was going, Suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them,
Men of Galilee they said, Why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus who was taken from you in to Heaven, will come back in the same way as you seen Him go into Heaven.

Revelation 22:20, He who testifies to these things says, Yes, I am coming soon!.

I have written these scriptures to give you hop, That is Real just as Jesus has promised you,
Ask Him into your hear today, Then pray that He will lead you to a Bible beliving church.

In Jesus Name, For His Glory

Now, I am not really happy about this and it seems pretty fucking ballsy to me and I wrote a reply. I could have written SO MUCH more, and really, I might just do that and attack it to the one I started. I may add a $5 bill and tell them to give it to their god. He seems to be bad with money, as he sure does need a PILE of it. 10% of your earnings, in fact. ;) Maybe they could use it to help the catholics get some better screening for their priests and prevent some more kids from being raped. Just sayin'...

Dear Severely Indoctrinated, Sanctimonious asshole:
(Yes, I knew you'd return to see if I got it) I am an athiest. In this house we live by the following rules:
(We didn't need a fake diety to figure them out either!)
Don't take more than you need. Give back everywhere you can. Be kind to the earth and be grateful for its bounty. Take care of each other. LIGHT AND LOVE =:)

Day 5 Cont'd

2013-04-19T15:38:00.002-04:00

So this afternoon/dinner juice is what was left over last night (about 2/3 of a litre) added with the following:

1 zucchini
1 beet, including greens
2 lg tomatoes
2 cloves of garlic
3 wee yellow peppers
1 carrot

it's freaking awesome. The flavours are perfectly balanced.

If you want to know what was in last night's juice, then read Day 4 Continued. All ingredients are listed there.

Side note: I bought B some organic cheesies today. They are HANDS DOWN the best cheesies I've ever tasted. We will never by another GMO and chemical infused cheesy again!

Battle the Bulge! Day 5

2013-04-19T08:39:00.001-04:00

I slept well last night. Perhaps the windows open, perhaps all the cleaning I did in the morning and then was outside for the day's duration. I got nearly no sleep the night before and still felt pretty good, not fatigued at all, although I was also in bed by 2100 and sleeping not long after 2200. That said, drinking all this juice, I have a TON of energy. Like scads. The pain is not REMOTELY decreased, but the energy is WAY up. I'll take it! :)

This morning I stepped on the Wii Fit to do a body test. I hadn't done one in 546 days. Yikes. In that time I have gained 15kg and change. HOLY EFF! My BMI was 40.6. those are some scary ass numbers. Also, my weight in kgs is over 100. I am not a fan of that shit either.

Confession: I night binge. Like a champion. I know this is because I'm 'too busy' to eat during the day. I eat my first food generally between 1-3 in the afternoon. No wonder I'm starving at 9pm. It's freaking dinnertime according to my body. So I lay in bed, watch TV and gorge myself on whatever I can get my hands on (usually savoury followed by sweet, literally one night it was wheat thins and peanut butter baking chips) til I'm beyond full and pass the fuck out. Nice. Real nice. Sexy, in fact. **BRARF**

And so I shall keep juicing!

This morning I wanted something sweet and delicious. So I fired up the following in my juicer:

4 organic Gala apples

1 very ripe banana

3 long carrots

5 leaves of Romaine

1 cucumber

It is sweet, but not too sweet, and delish! The romaine really adds some depth to the flavour and the cucumber makes it so refreshing.

Listen to me, going on about my juice.

Cheers!

Day 4 continued.

2013-04-18T20:25:00.002-04:00

So today I have only eaten a bowl of veg soup and have now just made a jug of juice.

This juice was my own concoction, based on what needed using up. :) Produce is FAR too dear to waste.

1 over medium sweet onion

4 oz fresh organic spinach

1 sweet red pepper (I'd put in another next time or at least a green)

3/4 cucumber

3 large celery stocks

3 large carrots

3 large tomatoes

this nearly filled a 2L jug. Into that I mixed the juice of one wee lime.

I then blended the juice with 1 T raw pumpkin seeds and 5 basil leaves.

This is quite delish, really. It wants a bit for a clove of garlic, perhaps another carrot and perhaps a beet (greens included)...

looks like I'll be going back to the shop again tomorrow.

Day 4 of Mission Fat Bust!

2013-04-18T16:58:00.001-04:00

Thus far today, I've only drank 2 L of water. I'm also down 12 lbs. INSANE!
Last night I had THE WORST migraine I've had for a while. I was trying SO hard not to take pharmaceutical meds, since doing a cleanse is to get rid of toxins, which pharms are FULL of.
I rocked back and forth for an hour at 2, then paced for an hour at 3. Finally took 2 toradol and then threw them up after about 30 min. Threw up for a solid 15 min then went and took 2 more toradol and the last time I looked at the time it was 5 am. YUCKY!
Meanwhile, my body really hurts but I still cleaned the house and opened ALL my windows, went into my back yard and thoroughly enjoyed this downright BALMY weather!

Today's juice is Spring Clean Juice

Spring is starting to sprout with sunny days and warmer temperatures. Root vegetables and produce like apples and pears are perfect for seasonal eating or juicing. Celery root has a fresh scent and is rich in electrolytes, potassium, sodium and magnesium making it a perfect choice for before, during or after exercise. Celery root also contains Vitamin K, important for bones and blood, calcium, iron and protein.

Ingredients:
1 celery root (also called celeriac)
2 small pears
2“ ginger root

Directions:
1.) Wash all produce well.

2.) Cut ginger into a 2” slice.

3.) Cut pears to remove core/seeds.

4.) Cut celery root to fit into juicer chute.

5.) Juice, pour over ice and enjoy!

Substitutions:

Celery Root: Jicama, celery

Ginger: Horseradish, Lemon, lime

Pears: apple

I added a bunch of organic kale and did NOT add any seeds this time. Mostly because I forgot. :(

I feel pretty good and VERY much energetic, despite in a ton of pain.

Lard Busting, day 3

2013-04-17T09:56:00.000-04:00

I'm proud to announce that I drank 4L of infused water yesterday and through the night! I will be drinking the same infusion today because I can get 2 full day's of use out of those ingredients. This morning, only the herbs were starting to look a little waterlogged. Tonight I will be making 'The Granite' (still from the same lot posted all over FB). Recipe is as follows:

The granite : Strawberry/Lime or Raspberry/Lime
Mix in a pitcher : 10 cups of water + 6 strawberries/Raspberries and one thinly sliced lime + 12 finely chopped fresh mint leaves. Leave in the refrigerator overnight before serving.

The juice I made for the day today is called Glowing Green Pepper Carrot Juice.
I added 1 bunch of organic kale (remember to buy organic where you can!) as well as 24 oz of raw whole figs. I saw these in the shop the other day, all marked down and gave a quick Google to see what figs were 'good' for and whether they could be juiced. Turns out they can be, I just needed to follow them with something really juicy, like a cucumber or green pepper.

Here is what I've learned about figs, and what spurned me on to purchase said reduced fruit.

NOT shameless plugging, just referencing my sources.

2013-04-16T17:32:00.000-04:00

So, here are some great things which are helping me along my journey:

This is a torrent for the documentary made by Joe about his journey across the US on his juicing mission. It was fascinating and inspiring.

http://thepiratebay.se/torrent/6776023/Fat_Sick_And_Nearly_Dead_2010_DVDRip_XviD-WiDE

This is where it starts to look like shameless plugging, for a second.
In order to download this torrent, you appropriate software. This is what I use. Pick the free one.

http://www.utorrent.com/downloads

In order to watch this, once you've gotten it downloaded, you need a good (and free) viewer. I use this one

http://www.videolan.org/vlc/download-windows.html

This is the other thing that spurned me on.

http://www.dietgirl.org/book

this book is brilliant and totally made me wanna lose my fat ass.

Time to get THIN!

2013-04-16T17:01:00.002-04:00

OHMIGOD SO much time has passed and there is FAR to much to update for my ADHD brain to get through and STILL arrive and a point even remotely within the context of the original thought!
See, already getting ahead of myself here!

So I've started to change my health using whole foods. This is the beginning of the journey.
If you want me to catch you up on days past, I can, but only if you really want an update. Ask and ye shall receive.

This originally started on Facebook, but I thought it made more sense to do it here. And with a Google product. Ya, that's right Google. I see you. ;) *cue barry white**

Yesterday morning:
Beginning a quest for a lifestyle change. While I know that losing the 70 lbs that I've gained in the last 2.5 years won't reduce my pain (it was just as bad when I was 168 lbs, yes, you did the math right. I'm a fat ass), I also am fully aware that hauling around 70 extra pounds of lard and blubber is total nonsense for my already struggling body. Thus, it begins...
Firstly, I think a parasite cleanse is in order. This does NOT mean worms, scabies, etc. This is in regard to the parasites that live in your gastrointestinal tract which people are never aware of having. A parasite cleanse isn't magic, nor does it require pills. Just a change in diet to clean those suckers out. Excretion is ghastly, but what a difference!
I've done a LOT of hard mental and emotional work over the last 8 months and it's HIGH time I started the physical work.

This is an awesome site that gives a great overview on what I'm doing:

http://www.livingfood101.com/cleansing/how-to-do-a-parasite-cleanse.html

Yesterday Afternoon

The parasite cleanse has begun! I have just been to the grocery store and bought about $120 in groceries, all but $10 (on shit tickets) was produce (I selected organic where I could) and a 1/4 of that was even clearance veg! I figured I'd save the money where I could, after all, I was just going to come home and juice it, no matter if it's a bit over-ripe.
After the shop, I came home and washed all of the produce in a sink of cold water and a cup of white vinegar.
Then took 15 drops of black walnut oil (parasite killer) mixed in some 'juice' which was actually 2 scoops of all greens super berry concentrate powder and about 500 ml of water.
On to the juicing. This is the recipe I used (verbatim), found onwww.rebootwithjoe.com:

Orange Garden Juice
This brightly-colored juice is packed with the vegetables you may not think of when making a delicious and healthy juice — fennel, peppers, carrots. Fennel is packed with colon-healthy quercitin (also found in pears and apples), and antioxidants anethole and rutin. The antioxidant anethole is known for helping to ease upset stomachs and for aiding digestion. Fennel is also a great source of potassium and vitamin C.

Make this tasty juice as a morning meal or as a snack to go. It is quick to make and the ingredients are easy to find.

Ingredients:
7 medium carrots
1 medium orange bell pepper (capsicum)
1 pear
2 inches ginger
1 fennel bulb

Directions:
1.) Rinse all ingredients.

2.) Remove top off pepper; and remove seeds.

3.) Add ingredients through juicer.

4.) Serve and enjoy!

It wasn't as tasty as I wanted it to be, but it's certainly not disgusting, either.

http://www.rebootwithjoe.com/seven-juices-for-spring/

Last night:

After a walk/bike ride to the park a few blocks away, playing in Blackie's (Blackie is a friend of mine, she has 2 boys) backyard, a walk to the store and MORE playing, my poor girl couldn't even make it to Momma's bed. She was passed out on the couch waiting for me to get tomorrow's water infusion ready. Momma is tired too, and SO sore. My body isn't a fan of lugging its corpulent self around.

Today:

Today has been an interesting one. In a TON of pain today. From the weather (it's been rainy and shit today, although the sun is out right now)? From the starving parasites and candida? From ALL the walking? Well, my lower back, legs and feet might be from the walking, but my hands? We all know I wasn't using those to walk. Although I was pulling a wagon for a bit. Regardless, I'm in pretty incredible pain.
Today, I've only eaten a scone so far, oh and some s'more thing that Ashley coerced me into, and have just drank juiced produce (once added 1tbsp of ground flax but I measure the flax before it was ground and threw it all in; and the second glass had 1Tbsp of ground raw pumpkin seeds, again measured whole) or the lemon -cucumber-basil-mint infused water (recipe below). It's totally refreshing and rather tasty. My aim is NOT to get lazy this time and keep drinking infused water in various flavours and concoctions indefinitely. This is one are where I've failed previously.
I did NOT have coffee this morning, and will have a one cup tomorrow and then skip the next day and have 1/2 c the following day, until I have weaned off caffeine and avoided horrible migraines. Caffeine is ONE sucker I can't 'cold turkey'.

Anywho, here is the recipe I used for today's water infusion. It's been in my news feed at least a half dozen times that I've noticed it, in the past week. I have just made mine into a 2L juice jug with a strainer bit on the lid which is great for pouring. It came from the $1.25 store. ;) I use my 4L countertop brita to fill the jug. I have refilled it once, and probably will again, without adding any 'fresh' ingredients. There was still a LOT of flavour pumping outta those delicious herbs.

1 cucumber and 1 lemon, thinly sliced
1/4c finely chopped basil
1/3c finely chopped mint
10 c H2O

best if steeped overnight in the fridge. otherwise, still pretty darned good in a cpl hours!

why christianity makes me CrAzY

2011-11-24T07:23:00.000-05:00

Recently, my girlfriend, Pea, got the following email, plugging the Christian god:

Father John Powell, a professor at Loyola University in Chicago, writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy:

Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the day I first saw Tommy. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders.

It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long.

I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn't what's on your head but what's in it that counts; but on that day. I was unprepared and my emotions flipped.

I immediately filed Tommy under "S" for strange... Very strange.

Tommy turned out to be the "atheist in residence" in my Theology of Faith course.

He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew.

When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a cynical tone, "Do you think I'll ever find God?"

I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. "No!" I said very emphatically.
"Why not," he responded, "I thought that was the product you were pushing."

I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then I called out, "Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find Him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you!" He shrugged a little and left my class and my life.

I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line -- He will find you! At least I thought it was clever.

Later I heard that Tommy had graduated, and I was duly grateful.

Then a sad report came. I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer.

Before I could search him out, he came to see me.

When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted and the long hair had all fallen out as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe.

"Tommy, I've thought about you so often; I hear you are sick," I blurted out.

"Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It's a matter of weeks."

"Can you talk about it, Tom?" I asked.

"Sure, what would you like to know?" he replied.

"What's it like to be only twenty-four and dying?

"Well, it could be worse.
"Like what?”

"Well, like being fifty and having no values or ideals, like being fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real biggies in life.”

I began to look through my mental file cabinet under "S" where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my life to educate me.)

"But what I really came to see you about," Tom said, "is something you said to me on the last day of class." (He remembered!) He continued, "I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, 'No!' which surprised me. Then you said, 'But He will find you.’ I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time. (My clever line. He thought about that a lot!) "But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, that's when I got serious about locating God.And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven.

But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success?

You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit.

"Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn't really care about God, about an afterlife, or anything like that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said:

'The essential sadness is to go through life without loving..’

But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.

"So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad. He was reading the newspaper when I approached him.

"Dad."

"Yes, what?" he asked without lowering the newspaper.

"Dad, I would like to talk with you."

"Well, talk.”

"I mean. It's really important."

The newspaper came down three slow inches. "What is it?"

"Dad, I love you, I just wanted you to know that." Tom smiled at me and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him.
"The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning."

“It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me."
"It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years."

"I was only sorry about one thing --- that I had waited so long."

"Here I was, just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to..

"Then, one day I turned around and God was there.

"He didn't come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon, jump through. C'mon, I'll give you three days, three weeks."

Apparently God does things in His own way and at His own hour.

"But the important thing is that He was there. He found me! You were right. He found me even after I stopped looking for Him."

"Tommy," I practically gasped, "I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make Him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love..

You know, the Apostle John said that. He said: 'God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.

"Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it wouldn't be half as effective as if you were to tell it..”

"Oooh.. I was ready for you, but I don't know if I'm ready for your class."

"Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call."

In a few days Tom called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me.

So we scheduled a date.

However, he never made it. He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class.

Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed.

He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined.

Before he died, we talked one last time.

"I'm not going to make it to your class," he said.

"I know, Tom."
"Will you tell them for me? Will you...tell the whole world for me?"

I will, Tom. I'll tell them. I'll do my best."

So, to all of you who have been kind enough to read this simple story about God's love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven --- I told them, Tommy, as best I could.

If this story means anything to you, please pass it on to a friend or two.

It is a true story and is not enhanced for publicity purposes.

With thanks, Rev. John Powell, Professor,
Loyola University, Chicago

What makes this email grating in the first place is that she, like myself does not support religios based beliefs and that makes this email offensive, and disrepectful. If she was sending you examples of poignant vignettes rooting for athiesm, you would ask her to stop, most likely. And yet, you continue to send emails supporting your beliefs to us. I think I may start sending emails supporting my reasons for thinking religion is a twisted and immoral way to control vast majorities of weak minded people who need an 'answer' for it all and really never get it because it's all about the 'wait and see' effect. BAH! You want proof of evolution? Have you ever considered your tailbone (coccyx)? There are still new spiecies if animals and insects being disovered on the regular. The real reason for this rant was actually that when Pea googled the 'good reverend' to see if he even existed, this was one of the top hits on him.

http://www.bishop-accountability.org/news2008/11_12/2008_12_05_ThePhoenix_PriestAccused.htm

So effed up!

Glory be!

Praise Jesus!

What-the-hell-ever!

Peace OUT!

Why You Shouldn't Donate to the Salvation Army Bell Ringers

2011-11-23T20:52:00.000-05:00

Why You Shouldn't Donate to the Salvation Army Bell Ringers

the Salvation Army is a horrible organization

do not support them

NEW BEGINNINGS!

2011-11-09T10:29:00.003-05:00

So, to start at the beginning, I went to see BW, the third weekend in September, where he has been working since August and is about 4 hours away (I can do it in much less). I left on the Saturday and returned Monday morning, exhausted as I left there at 0630 and then drove through rush hour Toronto traffic, which I LOVE by the way. I am NOT afraid of a good drive. I rise to the occasion, in fact. On the way home I stopped in at my bestie's, one B$ (Bee Money) as B (daughter) was at her donor's for the weekend. By the time I got home and had unpacked and played with B, I was exhausted and had a sleep. I had to cut my nap short because I'd committed to attending my friend T-Dawg's Party Lite party that evening and almost missed it, which, looking back would have changed the course of things altogether! Yay for being a good friend!
From arriving a little late to T-Dawg and Momma's with B, I snacked, visited and smelled some awesome scents and some my nose didn't care for and placed and order and was convinced by LAW (the PL consultant) to have a party of my own so that I could get some saweet things on the cheap or free, depending on how lucrative my party was.
So October 13th arrived and I had two of my best gfs helping me out with last minute preparations. I must say that I LOVE hosting parties because I LOVE to feed people delicious food especially tapas and desserts! We had a great time, spent some money on delicious scents and beautiful home decor and ate! These are the things I prepared:

Spiced pecans over cranberry compote with assorted crackers and cinnamon pita bites
Spinach dip in pumpernickel round
veggies & dip
fruit & dip
chocolate & chocolate mint fudge

wine, coffee, tea, juice, etc

So I had a fairly lucrative party (thanks to all who came and spent, and some online orders!) and it was time to settle up with the consultant, LAW. It worked out, after comparing, that I would be further ahead to become a consultant and thus always get 50% off wax products (yay! I LOVE great smells and thus go through a TON of wax) and if I happened to make some money, great but I didn't strive to be a career PL'er.

A couple weeks later, after having let my fb friends know that I was a consultant and they could get their PL fix through me if need be, I was approached about doing a 'one stop shopping' event which was a fundraiser for our local bantam hockey boys, who are headed to Europe this winter. In hopes to get some of the trip money back in Mom's and Dad's pockets, ($3600 per kid times an entire team plus chaperones is a TON of coin and hockey is an expensive sport to begin with!) they planned this event of a pile of home based businesses in a rented hall with display tables showcasing each one's wares. So, I was booked in for that gig. In addition, they were asking for a raffle item of approx $25 retail value. This is where I had an issue.
As a new consultant, I only had what I got in my kit, plus what I ordered for personal consumption and didn't have anything PL to part with, let alone for free when I hadn't made anything from it yet. I'm not a money bag either so I can't really afford to order things to give away. I had figured that anything I did make, would end up going to buying more yummy smelling wax anyway. Yes, I am an addict!
My gf Pea and I had discussed getting together at my place to do xmas baking because my utilities are included in my rent and I have a Kitchen Aid machine, so it was the cheaper choice. So the day came that we were getting things done that would freeze well (fudge and anything with fat (peanut butter) or candied freezes super well) and we were talking about what I was going to raffle for that event and we decided that fudge truffles would be a great one because really, who doesn't like fudge, especially in a little round ball of yumminess? So now we have 2 tables at this event, one for Party Lite and one for PeaKay Fudge and Confectionery!
Then the question was asked, what happens if people wanted more of this heavenly balled treat? Well shit son! So in about 20 minutes we devised a plan and off I went to our local Staples to get some cards (which were on sale) designed and printed. We are currently awaiting their completion as they have a 7-10 day turn around, which is pretty fast. They are pink and purple and pretty. Loves it!
Since then we have booked into several more of these events and are really busy from now til mid December, which is exciting to say the least. Yesterday morning I went to 98.1 Free FM with some samples for a friend of mine who co-hosts the morning show and took our product for a test run to people who didn't have to say that they liked it because they knew us. It went so super well that we're going to look into advertising with them.
So we've started this on a whim and have setup to hit the ground running at a neck-breaking speed, but we're a perfect team and I think that we're going to do well! We're still working out price and product lists, but we are accepting orders and I will post all the events that we will be attending on here and on our PeaKay blog!

Ciao for now!

CrAzY mOmMa

PS we are also working on putting together an appetizer and dessert catering business that will be launched soon, with a third partner who owns a cupcake business and makes DELISH cupcakes! So much going on, this is an exciting time for this squirrel chasing crazy momma!

Catch you up!

2011-11-07T07:06:00.002-05:00

WOWZERS! Has it really been since mid-April that I last sat down and ran off at the world? To sum up:

Got 90% of issues sorted with Boy Wonder
Went on a FABULOUS mini-break with BW in July to celebrate our 1 yr anniversary
Had a pretty good relaxing summer
Got applied to college in the paralegal programme and started working on finishing my OSSD
BW has been working about 4 hours east of here for 4 months, which has been both a blessing and a curse. I think it's healthy to know what it's like to miss your partner and it certainly is good for passionate homecomings. ;)
We saw Cirque Du Soleil thanks to my dear friend who works in radio! It was fantastic but made me feel like a cow.
Had a couple beautiful family weddings that were super fun!
B had a tonsil and adenoidectomy as well as having bilateral myringotomy which was drama and a half from my little princess! I will expand on these later (time permitting)
Had a fancy pants Party Lite party and that had brought me to my next entry!

NEW BEGINNINGS!