Christmas 2021. I have a thing for Christmas. As a (Filipino) pastor’s kid, I grew up in an environment where Christmas is celebrated in a huge way. Christmas hymns blasted from our car stereo as soon as the “ber” months began; my Mom would wrap a bazillion presents for every cousin, every kid, and every family we know; all Sundays of December were booked months ahead with church festivities, multiple Christmas parties, family reunions, you name it. We had a schedule that would put Santa’s Google calendar to shame, not that we were taught to believe in Santa. And young Rhiza looked forward to all of it and thought Christmas was the best thing ever.

Everything drastically shifted when my Dad passed in 2006. As a young (ish) single woman, my heart was ripped apart, leaving behind a daddy-shaped hole that I tried to fill with stuff that never measured up. I have recollections of bittersweet Christmas gatherings, gazing longingly at an empty seat. And even as I was surrounded by an overwhelming love from friends and family, not to mention a mother who’s played both parental roles to the best of her abilities, there is no denying the sadness that simply.. hovered over everything.

I remember a particular Christmas where I slept my way through the entire holiday, thanks to an imported bottle of sleep aids from CVS. For the first time in my life I understood the melancholy of Christmas, why some of the most played Christmas songs are sad songs, why suicide rates are particularly high in what should be the most wonderful time of the year. The pressure to be festive is upon all of us, the internal struggle is real.

And yet again everything shifted when David, Dawn & Rain were added into my life.

A new purpose rekindled my Christmas spirits, to create new traditions and make the season magical for our daughters while I can, for as long as I can.

I found a new passion for wrapping up presents, listing down new Christmas movies to watch, adding new ornaments to the tree, finding new meaning to old Christmas songs. I started looking forward to Christmas mornings again, excited to hear Dawn and Rain’s squeals of delight when they open their gifts (“this is the best gift ever!,” says Rain, at every gift she opens), unicorns and pop-its, another shiny backpack, another box of stationery, more art supplies, new pairs of kicks.

This time around, Christmas is not only merry and bright, it is nuanced by loss and grief and a realization that the space our loved ones vacated in our lives will never be replaced by new people or new memories.

* * *

When I was younger I thought sadness cancelled happiness. What I didn’t understand then was how these polar concepts could co-exist.

I suppose that’s the kind of understanding gained only through time, and through pain.

When David’s Mama passed on this year, I thought I already knew how to navigate grief and to support him through it. Been there, done that, right? It took a minute to realize that grief is as fragile and as unique as a snowflake. No grief is ever the same, people cope differently, and when we add the mechanics of a global pandemic into the mix, we find that we have to learn to let go and to grieve in a new way too.

This Christmas we all fought the fight of being grateful for what we (still) have in the midst of longing for what was lost.

We learned, collectively, that grief comes in waves. One minute it feels like a heartache that crushes us from the inside, triggered by something as trivial as an empty seat, a Bible verse, his old necktie still hanging by an old closet, her favorite Christmas song.

And for a brief moment, we let the tears freely flow. We allow ourselves to remember the last Christmas we spent with them, the last present we gave and received, the last memory, the last photograph.

And if we’re given the space, we talk about them, we relive all the vivid details all over again like we haven’t before, and we laugh as we wipe the tears.

And then an overwhelming peace washes over us, and we acknowledge that the immeasurable pain we feel is proof that we loved.

There’s an old lesson to be learned here. A reminder to hold our loved ones tighter, literally if we could, and if we couldn’t, hold space for them in our hearts.

To love without conditions, even when it’s tempting to be angry, or bitter, or indifferent.

To be kind because everyone is fighting a tough battle.

To treasure each Christmas as if it’s the last.

* * *

This year has taught us that the things we thought couldn’t co-exist actually should. Sadness and happiness, absence and presence, grief and joy.

I don’t know who needs to hear this now but it’s okay to make space for both. Because the truth is, we cannot really, profoundly and fully, experience nor understand one without the other.

I wasn’t planning to write about grief when I started this post but I suppose it’s impossible to write about Christmas 2021 any other way.

We wish you and your family good tidings of comfort and joy this Christmas and the year ahead! Merry Christmas.

Photographs by Sheila Catilo.

Christmas 2020. Behind the one family photo that makes the proverbial Christmas postcard are a dozen outtakes and stories.

This was us last year, Christmas 2020, at the height of the pandemic. We had been under lockdown for almost a year—and in the Philippines no less, the worst place in the whole world to be during a pandemic.

I remember that day feeling like not wanting to bother to take photographs because who has the energy to take photographs? And wasn’t that the story of 2020? Languishing, if I may, where everyone was stuck all year “doing nothing” and yet, there’s very little energy to go around.

We fought the urge to languish that day and, thank God, mustered enough strength to step out of our pajamas, take out the tripod, dust off the camera, and take a few shots.

Here we are a year later and I’m glad we took the time to memorialize the strangeness of that particular Christmas.

I want to remember as much of that day as I can—

Pushing bedroom furniture around so we can convert this corner into a makeshift studio.

The Christmas pine tree (and all of its ornaments and twinkle lights) that became a permanent fixture in that room all year.

The crooked teeth and cheeky smiles.

The midi-dresses that are now mini dresses.

The banter with the 8-year-olds.

The cuddles and tickles.

Today I look at these photographs from Christmas of 2020, grateful for everything they represent—

The grace to live another day, another year.

The bubble that kept us healthy, safe, and together.

The breath in our lungs, the hope in our hearts.

The blissful faith of a child, unfazed by what’s going on in the world.

The flickers of light in the midst of the dark.

The remembrance that no matter how bleak the year was with seemingly no end in sight, there is always, ALWAYS, something to smile and laugh about.

Read more ruminations about 2020

• Wrapping up the past decade in a bow
• Counting the days, making the days count

It’s the first day of November and day 231 of this lockdown.

Most of you probably stopped counting the days but, as someone who can count on one hand all the times she left the house in the past 8 months, I might as well just keep counting.

And so it has been 231 days figuring out this “new normal”. For our household, grocery runs are the only essential trips we accommodated in the entirety of this lockdown, and thankfully the only essential trips we need to take so far. And by “we” I mean mostly my husband. (Bless his heart!)

Mask up, face shield on, alcohol spray in one pocket, and cashless payment on standby so that the cashier doesn’t need to return change; and once back home, groceries to go through an elaborate disinfection process, and grocery runner to head straight to the bathroom to wash any hint of the virus away.

As trivial as grocery shopping used to be, we know that this fairly normal activity is not going back to the way it was, at least for the foreseeable future.

Just like most things in the world.

Needless to say, I am also totally conscious of the fact that my family and I have never been *physically* stuck in one place for this long.

Just like most of you.

As some parts of the world started opening up and loosening some restrictions, the Covid situation where we are have not really progressed, hence our decision to stay sheltered in place. Where we are, children below 15 are still not allowed to go out of the house. There really isn’t much of a choice.

That said, I do acknowledge our unique privilege—to have the kind of work that can be done remotely, to have established homeschooling long before Covid happened, and to have the means to stay home.

I am fully aware that others don’t have the same privilege and my heart goes out to those who have to physically battle it out there, to be in the frontlines of this pandemic, to commute under these circumstances, or to shift to distance learning in the middle of the school year, without much of a choice.

I want to acknowledge this privilege before I start writing about chasing dreams again (or whatever it is I’m prompted to publish on this space).

I don’t want to come out of my virtual cave and resume regular programming as if nothing happened; as if the bandaid has not been ripped off, lives are not lost, and the world is not wounded and hurting.

How does one chase dreams in this new normal anyway, and in the midst of anxiety and uncertainty?

How do we inspire others to keep going, to not give up on their dreams?

And how do we do this whilst being mindful of the reality that people out there are fighting battles that are unimaginable, risking their lives for others, navigating through grief and loss, and/or barely surviving to even think about dream-chasing?

Whilst I have all of these questions, it brings me a sense of comfort to know that I don’t need to have the answers. For the first time in all my years being on the internet, I don’t feel the need to apologise for turning off social media, leaving some messages unread, or ruthlessly curating my social feeds to block unnecessary noise.

In the same way, when I feel prompted to reach out or to speak up, I also don’t hesitate to send that random “Hello, how are you?“, or to retweet a Joe Biden ad or two (or okay maybe more).

2020 has been everything we didn’t ask for nor expect (and more!) and I am one to appreciate the collective understanding and the unspoken permission we have granted each other:

That we’re allowed to cope in ways we’re comfortable with and are necessary to get through this year.

Whether that means tuning out the noise so we can focus internally, loving on our families, and quietly making an impact in our smaller circles of influence—our children, the people we work with and do life with, the communities we support. Or, at the other end of the spectrum, turning to social media to connect, to lobby, to advocate, to make our voice heard. Whatever makes sense in the given moment.

I hope wherever you are today you are choosing to see 2020 for all the good that came out (and can come out) of it instead of dwelling on all the terrible things it exposed.

I hope that you’re taking steps towards healing, whatever healing means for you, one brave step at a time.

I hope that more than just counting the days, you are making each day—each moment, each social media post, each conversation, your vote, your voice—count.

And when all of this is over, I hope we will collectively remember 2020 as the year that God turned things around for the better and made us stronger, kinder, braver.

In the meantime, while many things are beyond our control, I hope you’re making the few ones still within your control, count.

It’s been a while. Thank you for sticking around.

Love,
Riz

A tad too late to the decade-ender party but as always taking my time to process it all—the decade that has passed, the new one that has just begun. I started writing this post in December, only to write up the last paragraph while in quarantine. Ha! I’ll save the quarantine thoughts for another post, this one is dedicated to the decade that was.

If you told me at the end of 2009 that I’ve already met the man I was going to marry and that he and I would be raising twin daughters 3 years later, I would have laughed (or ugly cried) in disbelief. I was 26 years old, moving on from a bad breakup, unhappy with my job, ending an apartment lease and not knowing yet where to move next, basically crying myself to sleep at night and wallowing in self-pity.

2009 was not exactly the best of years for me, and let me just add that it was also the year I contracted H1N1. Needless to say, I could not wait for 2009 to be over.

And so when 2010 began, it felt like God forced a restart button in my life.

I wish I could say I let Him freely do it. The truth is, I fought hard, resisted, complained, refused to let go, and drove myself to a dead end and right through the cliff. But because it felt like it couldn’t really get any worse than that, there was also no way to go but up.

Fast forward to a decade later, the start of 2020, I honestly couldn’t have predicted that this is the life God was setting me up for.

I still sometimes stare at my sleeping daughters, weirded out that they’re mine. And I still often catch myself staring at David with a dorky smile on my face, remembering that he’s the same 17-year-old boy who sang me love songs and wrote me love letters from thousands of miles away and yes, he’s your husband, silly, for 8 years now.

As much as I’d like to avoid making this a rehash of our love story, it’s just impossible to ponder upon the past 10 years apart from David. After all, 2010 was when it all began—the one-way ticket, the saying of I do’s, the union of two lives. Our calendars and closet spaces and wallets and dreams have been tightly intertwined since.

Somehow between the years 2010 to 2019, David and I became husband and wife, life partners, business partners, parents to twin daughters, homeschoolers, him a Registered Nurse, me a mother.

And somehow in those years, said twin daughters grew, crawled, started walking, started talking non-stop, started homeschooling, turned 7 years old, and last time I checked, started losing baby teeth.

But as with any significant and meaningful growth, we had to go through seemingly endless stretching, and pruning, and wrestling with God, and getting back up on our feet, and healing, and moving forward. Rinse, repeat.

The decade is marked with itineraries that didn’t materialize, calendars that kept changing, bucket lists left unchecked, empty suitcases stored at the back of the closet indefinitely. There was a lot of dreaming and letting go of those dreams. A lot of waiting and working hard for a YES but getting a NO instead.

In retrospect, all of this growth is not possible without having to let go of old dreams to make room for new ones, and without letting God close doors so we can step into new ones — and only the best ones.

For me, 2010 felt like a hard restart. And now, 2020 feels just like it.. but on steroids.

Seriously though, 2020 is something else huh?? This pandemic, this lockdown, the natural (and man-made!) calamities striking the world at all sides, there’s really no knowing how this new decade is going to play out and how to navigate it.

All I know is, a decade from now the twins will be 18, and David & I will have more white hairs and wrinkles, hopefully still strong enough (and feeling young enough) to keep chasing dreams, and maybe living some of those old dreams.

And God! God will still be good, and He will still be God. And for all the things I don’t know about this new decade, the certainty of His goodness is good enough for me.

Take that, 2020.

Thank you, Jamie, for these photographs.

Christmas 2019.

“Best Christmas ever!”, says my daughter mid-jump, eyes twinkling bright like the northern star.

I may have said something like “woohoo!” but deep inside I tried to recall past Christmasses and, taking my daughter’s declaration too seriously, secretly doubted that #Christmas2019 was our best one.

The other day my husband and I were talking about the ordinariness of this Christmas. It’s really not that bad, to be honest. It’s just mostly uneventful and maybe even forgettable.

Sure there were pancakes in the morning, Christmas carols on loop all day, late-night Christmas movies. But some Christmas traditions were amiss, no out-of-town holidays, no advent calendar, no homecooked meals, not a lot of Christmas shopping or partying. Most of this was because I had to work through the Christmas break, which means I was pretty much holed up in front of my laptop, with little energy left for merry-making when the work hours were over. (Shout out to David and my Mom for holding the ~Christmas~ fort when I couldn’t.)

As a mother who wants to create memorable Christmasses for her kids while they’re still young, I have to admit I worried a lot about not being able to give them something worth remembering this year.

Then again, this is why “grownups” don’t always know better, and why it sometimes feels like children know something we don’t. In retrospect, there’s a reason why the Messiah came in the form of an unassuming child, in a stable, on an ordinary day.

We tend to think we need to offer Him myrrh, frankincense, and gold because that’s what the wise men did. In the same way, we focus too much on splurging on expensive gifts and planning the best holiday trips, thinking that these are the stuff that “the best Christmas ever” is made of.

I learn it doesn’t really take so much to make Christmas memorable for the kids—just some extended cuddle times, a new pair of fluffy slippers, a stack of pancakes, Christmas carols all day, store-bought cookies, our presence, our love, our time.

And this is exactly how I want to remember Christmas this year.

That somehow, for all its ordinariness and for everything it seems to lack, my daughters still think it’s “the best Christmas ever.”

What a humbling experience, to receive this kind of grace that children are capable of giving so generously and effortlessly. And, ultimately, to receive this amazing grace of a good, good Father who simply loves us for all our ordinariness. Every day of the year.

Thank you Jamie, for these beautiful keepsakes to remember this Christmas by. We love and will forever cherish every single one of them!

Family lifestyle photography by Jamie Mapagu.

Heads up: It’s on Netflix. It’s always been on Netflix, somewhere, underneath piles of shows trying to capture your attention this Christmas season. I highly recommend you look up The Star.

The Star

Animated Film, 2017

In case you don’t know, “The Star” is an animated movie inspired by the birth of Jesus, as told by a donkey named Bo.

It was released in 2017, apparently underrated, and apparently with a star-studded soundtrack, including a Mariah Carey original which, by the way, the world needs to hear on repeat right now.

I’ve never heard of The Star until last summer when I was routinely browsing Netflix to add shows to Dawn & Rain’s watch list. (Mostly filtering out shows we don’t want them to watch.)

I was just going to scan through it, to be honest, but something about the first 5 minutes that got hooked quite easily. I ended up watching the entire film, laughing and wiping tears and totally falling in love with the characters. Granted I’m a cryer and I may be a tad too easy to please, I was still surprised at how much the story moved me and spoke to me in a deeply personal way.

I appreciate that it does not stray away from the biblical story of Jesus’ birth, even as they’ve modernized the dialogues to make it more relatable, and even as it centers the plot around a fictional donkey and his animal friends.

More so, I’m glad The Star is not part of a seasonal setlist that disappears after Christmas. In fact, the twins and I have watched this movie multiple times throughout the year, and every time we do, I still find myself bawling my eyes out.

Have you seen The Star yet?

If you haven’t, go watch it and come back here when you’re done.

Because I want us to talk about Bo the Donkey, and how he lets go of his dreams to follow the still small voice in his heart, and how he ends up doing something that’s even bigger than his biggest dreams!

I want us to talk about Mary and Joseph, and how the film aptly depicts their relationship with each other and with God, their hesitations, their humanity, their honesty, and their courage to obey anyway even when it doesn’t make sense.

I want us to talk about all the little side stories, of Ruth the Sheep going against the flock; and Dave the Dove being the absolute sidekick; the trio of camels and their hilarious banter; the animals’ collective effort to save Mary; the villain dogs who are given a chance to be set free.

There are many bits and pieces of the story that I love talking about with my kids, while also pondering upon timely (and adult-friendly) insights for myself.

Can you guess which parts of the story have me bawling? :)

As “Oh Holy Night” plays softly in the background, Bo realizes that the baby he helped save is Jesus, and it dawns on him that his dreams (of carrying a king on his back and being part of something important) have come true after all.

Deborah, the wise camel, voices over and wraps up the Christmas story into a nice little bow.

“You know, I think people are going to remember this night. What happened here around this manger will be celebrated for thousands of years. Families will come together to exchange presents and sing carols, all to remember the grace of this moment that we are witnessing right now.”

The movie ends with a familiar snapshot of the manger scene, the north star (“The Star”) beaming brightly in the background, leaving you with a warmth in your heart you want to carry with you throughout the year.

So go ahead and gather the whole family, load up Netflix, type in “The Star” in the search box (because it won’t just show up in popular lists), and watch the Christmas story unfold in a whole new way.

Looking for more holiday movies to watch? Here’s my (annual) classic Christmas movie list!

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Hanging by the door of their classroom in Kids Church, a signage goes “Pre-school: 4-6 Years Old”. One Sunday afternoon, as we were picking them up after the church service, our conversation went something like this—

“Mom, what happens when we turn 7 years old? We can’t go to Kids Church anymore?”
“What do you mean? Why not?”, I asked.
“Because the sign on the door says ‘4-6 years old!”

Ohhh yeah. Good thinking. And thanks for the reminder, kids.

Although Dawn and Rain are already Grade 1 in homeschool, we kept them in their pre-school class in Kids Church per habit. We’ve been dropping them off that room every Sunday for the past year or so, it just didn’t occur to us that they’re supposed to join the tweeners (7-12 year old kids) soon.

How does something as trivial as moving up to the next class stir so many feelings in a mother’s heart anyway?

And so last Sunday, as they officially turned 7, we threw them a little surprise birthday party in their pre-school class and took the opportunity to let them say a proper goodbye to their friends and teachers there.

It felt like a rite of passage of sorts. The end of an era and the beginning of a new one. Like closing your favorite chapter so far in this book you couldn’t quite put down—you turn the next chapter with sheer curiosity, excited to know what happens next but not wanting the story to end.

Cue the tears. And that Michael Buble song.

Turning 7 years old

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Everything’s changing! I know kids outgrow all the things all the time, but 7 feels like a huge leap.

Clothes they’ve been wearing for the last 3 years suddenly don’t fit anymore so we’ve been slowly building up their new wardrobe. (In classic #TitasofManila fashion, yung one-size-bigger para tumagal!) And so, in a funny way, these days everything in their closet is either too small or too big.

Clothing situation aside, we’ve boxed up more books and toys than ever before. Preferences are shifting, conversations changing.

For the first time, Rain is okay with discarding some of her toys, when, wasn’t it just yesterday when she begged to “keep all of her toys forever“? Last month we passed by a store in the mall and for the first time, Dawn took interest in toy makeup, accessories, and nail polish. (What is going on?)

And yet, some things remain the same.

They still love dolls, and books, and dresses, and milk + cereals for breakfast. And cuddles! They still love cuddles. (Which makes this momma so happy.)

They still love tagging along wherever we go, riding trains, walking around the neighborhood, and although they started to say “no thank you” to grocery runs, they still in general love doing things with us.

There is definitely a lot more talking, and asking questions, and negotiating, and joking around. (7-year-old humor is hilarious!) There’s still a lot of playing, and singing, and silly dancing, and laughing, and even though they started reading on their own now, we all still enjoy some good bedtime read-alouds.

There’s a lot more individuality and personality shining through. One twin loves math and technology; the other one loves music and arts. One twin loves being right in the center of the party, the other one warms up easier in smaller groups.

I miss them being babies and toddlers but age 7, oh my heart, this age is special. Every age has its own magic, for sure, but I’m here to report that as your child turns 7, you can still absolutely say that each year is still better than the last.

Magical Spaces, Magical Year

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Along with turning 7 comes the purging of things and the transitioning of spaces.

The purging was intense! We KonMari’d the heck out of their toys and books. There was so much to declutter, the process took us days. But once the room was clean and ready, everything was a breeze!

Since we wanted to surprise them on their birthday, we woke up early and quietly decorated their space while they were sleeping. Took some ninja moves but overall it was a successful setup.

We had the balloons delivered early in the morning. There’s a box of Spinkie decors all ready to put up. Crates and baskets of new books hidden in the storage.

5 days before their birthday, we were in Spinkie’s anniversary celebration which Dawn and Rain really enjoyed, so they were ecstatic to wake up and see some of that Spinkie magic brought into their own little space.

By now the balloons have popped and the confetti thrown away, but Spinkie’s Dream Canopy, Dolls, and Garlands are the party decors that you can keep throughout the year!

You’ll notice in earlier posts that we had Spinkie’s Sheer Canopy (in Mist) for the longest time, draped on top of the twins’ bed. But this new season calls for something new and the Dreamy Canopy (in Champagne) completely transformed the space!

You can just imagine all the reading time and storytelling and happy memories we’ve already had in this corner of the house, and we’re not even done yet! Their bedroom is still a work in progress. Watch this space as we continue to share progress with you guys.

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Happy 7th birthday, Dawn and Rain! We may have set up this magical space for you on your birthday but YOU TWO are the real magic in our lives. We love you!

Shoutout to Mutya and the rest of the Spinkie team for helping us make this possible, but most of all for inspiring imagination and creativity in our daughters and in children everywhere.

Shop Dawn & Rain’s Reading Nook

Decors: Spinkie’s Dreamy Canopy and in Champagne, Pom Garland in White and in Champagne, Star Garland in Gold, Baskets and Crates from Common Room; Faux Fur Rug from Landmark.
Toys: Dreamy Doll Tala, Dreamy Doll Marikit, and other Spinkie dolls we collected through the years.

About Spinkie

Over the past 3 years, Spinkie has built a homegrown brand that was able to resonate with a global audience.

Most people online think of Spinkie as an Australian or British brand but they are, in fact, a global brand that has its roots in the Philippines. Spinkie is proud to support a growing community of Filipino Moms who lovingly sew its products and an international community of Moms who sell their products in their own countries, each one of them caring for their children the way they desire as they build their own careers at the same time.

Today, Spinkie is in 21 counties with over 65 stockists globally, upholding its vision to make magical spaces that aim to create more meaningful memories for both parents and kids.

Get Daily Dose of Spinkie Inspiration

Instagram | Facebook | Website

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Part 1

Our Spinkie Story

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Part 2

Magical Spaces with Spinkie

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Full disclosure: This series of essays is written for Spinkie. We’ve been happy Spinkie customers since 2012 and therefore personally purchased and collected many Spinkie products through the years. All opinions are my own and most photos in this blog, unless otherwise stated, are also ours. :)

Originally published in 2017. But.. it’s that time of the year so I’m bringing this up. ;)

Growing up with about a hundred cousins, Christmas gatherings and family reunions were huge parts of my childhood. I enjoyed the company of my cousins and somehow that made me believe I was a party-going social butterfly and Christmas parties are the only way to do Christmas.

I couldn’t have been more wrong about myself. As I got older, I realised I prefer Christmasses to be quiet, intimate, and cozy.

Late night movie marathons with my husband when the twins have gone to sleep is pretty high up on my grownup Christmas list. Give me cups of hot choco, a blanket, and the faint glow of a twinkly Christmas tree and I’m so there. 

I did a quick Google search for movies to watch this holiday season and I’m surprised to find Christmas movie lists that don’t really suit my taste. And by “my taste” I mean, (1) family-oriented (2) romantic comedies, (3) usually set in some of the most iconic cities in the world, (4) with fall or winter season as backdrop, and (5) with main characters that are more or less in the creative field. 

So I started making this Christmas movie list!

Let’s get to it.

1. You’ve Got Mail

While I don’t really intend to rank these movies, it felt right to place You’ve Got Mail at the top of the list. Y’all know that the plot actually started in the Fall (ehem, “Don’t you just love New York in the fall?“) and ended sometime in Spring, where we find Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) and Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) smooching at Riverside Park.

But some of its prettiest moments happened in the Christmas season.

Who would forget Kathleen putting up Christmas lights by her book shop’s window display (“Meanwhile, I’m going to put up more twinkling lights“), or when they had a “first date” at Cafe Lola? Uhm, not me.

What inspires me

Every time I watch this movie I feel like wanting to put up my own shop around a corner somewhere! (Tell me you feel the same way.) What Kathleen went through as a small business owner, competing against big “theme park, multi-level, homogenize-the-world mochaccino land” brands, is something relatable to us creatives. The love story is the icing on the cake, but Kathleen’s journey as a passionate, book-loving, female shop owner living in New York City (who occasionally lurked around online chatrooms), is everything in this movie.

As Frank so eloquently typed on his typewriter, she was “a lone reed, standing tall, waving boldly in the corrupt sands of commerce.” (I am seriously typing these lines from memory.) She sold children’s books not only to make a living but also because it was her passion, her family’s legacy.

And then, of course, we know that she had to bravely close shop, and don’t we all find ourselves in that same crossroad every now and then? Closing chapters and letting go to make room for, you know, life things?

You’ve Got Mail is a classic, and yes, it just had to be #1 on my list.

2. Serendipity

These first two movies are probably my most favorite romantic comedies of all time (is it just me the rom coms of the 90s are the best??).

The movie started during a busy holiday season, where Sarah Thomas (Kate Beckinsale) and Jonathan Trager (John Cusack) met in the middle of a jampacked Bloomingdale’s. And y’all know that the story ended a year later, on a cold December night at the Wollman Rink in Central Park.

On a personal note, there’s something incredibly inspiring about being in New York in the last quarter of the year! The cold weather, the holiday rush, the lights, the fashion, Central Park, Serendipity’s frozen hot chocolate. Ahh. <3

What inspires me

There’s a lot in the movie that inspires me, but I want to specifically cite Jonathan’s pretend-eulogy, written by Dean, his obituary-writing best friend, “Even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan.”

Sure it was about a boy and a girl serendipitously meeting each other in the most romantic of cities, letting each other go, and somewhat finding each other again. But underneath the love story are so many other things about life, and passion, and knowing that, yes, life is not a series of meaningless coincidences. Everything that happens in our journey—the good and the bad—ultimately leads us to the center of Wollman Rink, whatever Wollman Rink represents in your life.

3. The Family Man

I’m surprised to know that not a lot of people I know are familiar with this one. It’s a Nicholas Cage drama, and I suppose we’re all not used to Nicholas Cage being, well, a family man? (Here’s the 2000 trailer.)

In the movie, he played Jack Campbell, a Wall Street investment broker who had everything he wanted in life until he was given a glimpse into what he was really missing. By some magic, he woke up to a life he would have lived if he chose to marry his college girlfriend Kate—a tire salesman living in Jersey with two kids—which is a million times different from his luxurious Wall Street lifestyle and bachelor existence.

I love Kate Reynolds (Tea Leoni), both her “glimpse” and her present self. In the “glimpse”, she was a nonprofit lawyer who chose family over a high paying career. In reality, when Jack didn’t marry her, she became a successful corporate lawyer in Manhattan and had a bright future waiting for her in Paris. I think she would have lived a successful and passionate life, either way. :)

What inspires me

The story was all about the sacrifices that come with choosing family life over career, or vice versa. I think that regardless of the path they chose, both Jack and Kate would end up living passionate lives anyway; and as it is a fictional love story, they would end up together anyway. And I like that!

My husband and I talk about these scenarios a lot. Like, what if we had set aside our life together for a few more years, didn’t marry each other (yet) and prioritized our careers… Would we have ended together still? Would we have a better life? Or then again, would we have missed out the adventure of pursuing our dreams together?

Point is, I’m not one to say that family life is better than a career, or being married and having children is better than being single. I think regardless of our statuses and seasons in life, kids or not, single or married, we can always choose to be content and happy and passionate.

Well, that went too deep too fast. You should really watch The Family Man!

4. Stuck in Love

This one’s a story about a family of writers who struggled with their creative processes in the midst of their challenges as a family. William (Greg Kinnear), a world-renowned writer with several bestsellers under his name, was separated from his wife Erica (Jennifer Connelly). Quite the stubborn ex-husband, William spent the past two Thanksgivings setting up a spot in the table for her, believing that someday she would come back.

Meanwhile, their children Samantha (Lily Collins) and Rusty (Nat Wolff) had to witness all of the drama and to live through their weird family dynamics. Sam, who has become cynical about love and marriage, hated her mother for leaving their father, eventually writing her first fiction novel with true-to-life references to her parents’ failure at love.

She and Rusty grew up wanting to be writers, mostly because of their father’s pressure and influence (and quite possibly genes) but had to struggle through their father’s high expectations. As William pressured his children to write, he struggled with writing himself.

In all of these, everyone in the family ended up finding love, and each other. And then of course I love the soundtrack. And Kirsten Bell’s cameo.

Don’t let me give out all the details! (I’m stopping.) Here’s the 2012 trailer, btw. I really like watching this movie and talking about it. Again, not a lot of people I know have seen it. (Have you? Seen it? Talk to me!!)

What inspires me

For obvious reasons, I love that this was a story about writers and writing—the real-life inspiration behind writing beautiful stories, how writers draw ideas from personal experiences, broken hearts, joy, pain.

William quoted from his favorite books when he gave words of advice to his children, and he had a pretty inspiring speech himself during Sam’s book launch where he addressed other young, aspiring writers. (Here’s the clip.)

“.. I’m not sure I have much to say about it (writing) that could benefit you. I still find it all very mysterious, years after I wrote my first book. And I’m not sure what it is that compels a person to continue to play make-believe even after they’re an adult. 

My favorite book is a collection of short stories by Raymond Carver called What We Talk About When We Talk About Love. In the closing lines of the book, Carver says, ‘I could hear my heart beating. I could hear everyone’s heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making. Not one of us moved, not even when the room went dark.’ 

And I think that that’s what writing is. Is listening to that beating heart. And when we hear it, it’s our job to decipher it to the best of our abilities.”

Finally (ok, ok I’m done), the story was about different manifestations of love: Love for the art of writing, love for family, love for life. It was about husbands and wives, mothers and daughters, sisters and brothers. I love that Stuck in Love ain’t your ordinary love story. It tackled realistic situations that make or break a family, and I’m glad that in the end, they all decided to let love win.

5. While You Were Sleeping

Another classic, I remember watching this on the big screen with my mom and I think it was about the time I started getting “into” Hollywood romcoms. (Thanks, Mom!) And I probably shouldn’t talk about how I crushed on Bill Pullman for about a year after watching this flick.. yes, you guys, at 12 years old.

It’s one of my most favorite classics to watch, and the Callaghans have become almost like those distant relatives you really like seeing on Christmas.

There’s a bit of everything in the story—about growing up without a family, belonging to a family, dreaming of Florence since you were a little girl, doing a monotonous job that makes you die a little each day, figuring out what your real passion in life is, going through what you thought was just an ordinary day not knowing that it would change your life forever.

What inspires me

While Lucy (Sandra Bullock) was the main character of the story, I like Jack (Pullman)’s side-story, where he told his father that he didn’t want to continue doing their family business anymore, instead, he wanted to start his own. A skilled carpenter and furniture designer, Jack decided to do his side business full-time. Relate much? :)

And then there’s Lucy’s closing lines, of course, forever engraved in our minds. “So I had planned to marry Peter, but I married Jack instead. I guess my father was right. Life doesn’t always turn out the way you planned. But Jack, Jack gave me the best gift, a stamp in my passport. He took me to Florence for our honeymoon. I guess you can say he gave me the world.”

Hearts all over my eyes.

6. Time Travelers Wife

This one’s maybe too heavy for Christmas because there’s a bit of a tragic death in there (it’s not like you don’t already know what happened). But even with that significant plot twist, the story had a lot of happy and funny and heartwarming moments.

Not to mention, Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana. Also, who doesn’t like a love story with a bit of time travel?

What inspires me

I love the little detail that Clare (Rachel McAdams) was an artist and a few scenes were taken in her little studio by the garage. I think artists have a special way of seeing life and raising a family, and I love how that played out for Clare’s character.

But most of all I love that the story was about appreciating life, and every fleeting moment we get with our loved ones. There’s a moment when Henry, Clare and their daughter Alba sat together by the Christmas tree that just triggers all the feelings. As Henry (Eric Bana) was living on borrowed time, Clare and Alba knew that it was their last Christmas together and there’s no time to lose. It was bittersweet in so many levels, but they did get that rare opportunity to make every moment leading to his death, count.

Makes me think about my own life and what I’d do if today was my last and I had nothing to lose. Brb.

7. The Holiday

Two heartbroken women found each other online: Amanda Woods (Cameron Diaz), a movie trailer producer who lived in a mansion in Los Angeles, and Iris Simpkins (Kate Winslet), a column editor who lived in an adorable English cottage in Surrey. Agreeing to trade houses for the holidays, they each found love in the most unexpected ways and their lives became more entangled than they imagined.

And what a treat, to see Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law and Jack Black in one film!

What inspires me

Watching this movie has always inspired me to take risks and to allow myself to make those impulsive decisions sometimes. Amanda and Iris were both heartbroken at the start of the story, which reminds me how breaking up with someone could feel like it’s the end of the world. (It’s not.)

Being married now, I’m glad I never have to go through that kind of pain anymore. However, I do remember that, while breakups could bring about the saddest and most paralyzing feelings ever, it could also feel quite.. liberating. Like you’re given a clean slate and you could start over.

Oan, I was in my early twenties when I first saw this movie and I remember seriously thinking about living in a faraway place and immersing myself in the culture there. Which I somehow did, in a way, when I stayed in New York City for about 2 months in 2010. I would never trade that experience for anything! And by the way, I could definitely have some of that winter. Cameron Diaz’s winter wardrobe is so dreamy!

8. No Reservations

Am I the only one who misses seeing Catherine Zeta-Jones in the big screen? No Reservations was about a control-freak, obsessive-compulsive, strong-willed woman who worked as the executive chef at a restaurant on Bleecker Street. She was passionate about perfecting her recipes and obsessed about her routines. She was also occasionally visiting her therapist to help her process her thoughts and emotions.

Therapy aside, Kate (Zeta-Jones) got everything in her life under control until Zoe (Abigail Breslin), her orphaned niece, and Nick (Aaron Eckhart), a guy she worked with, disrupted her life. She started freaking out and pushing Nick away and dissing at customers and generally making a mess. And don’t we all feel that way sometimes when we lose control of things?

What inspires me

Watching the movie makes me want to master Italian cuisine, or to enroll in a culinary class or something. Kate moves around the kitchen with so much grace, like she’s floating or dancing. And I love how culinary is portrayed as an art in this film, and how the kitchen became the common ground that brought Kate, Nick, and Zoe together.

It’s a rare thing, to find a career that you and your life partner are both passionate about. The end of the story had Nick and Kate quitting their jobs and opening their very own restaurant. Doesn’t that make you want to take a leap of faith too and just do that thing you’ve always wanted to do?

9. The Vow

This isn’t the first time I’m blogging about The Vow. I happened to have seen it when I was pregnant (and excessively hormonal) and blogged after watching it. Which is, by the way, why you don’t want to blog while you’re excessively hormonal.

The Vow was as millennial as any story could be, with two young people defying the norms and leaving behind comfort zones to pursue a life of passion. Paige (Rachel McAdams) left law school to enroll herself in an art institute in Chicago. Leo (Channing Tatum), on the other hand, opened a small recording studio when music production was a dying business. Meeting each other and having an instant connection, Leo and Paige fell in love and got married in a museum (I just love their no-fuss speed-wedding and their beautifully written vows!)

An accident took all of these away when Paige suffered a brain injury and had an amnesia that erased all of her memories from the recent years—which includes Leo, art school, and all the friends she’s made in her “new” life. Leo worked hard to make his wife fall in love with him again, except Paige had no recollection of their life together. They ended up with a divorce.

As Paige figured herself out, she ended up making the very same choices she made before the accident—enrolling in art school, moving back into the city, becoming an artist, ultimately bringing her right back to Leo.

What inspires me

The Vow was based on a true story, and that to me made the movie really special. While these moving images are carefully styled, shot, edited and produced, you just know that stuff like this does happen in real life.

More than Leo’s unconditional love for Paige, seeing both their lives as artists is quite inspiring. Their love for each other was adorable, and their respect for each other’s artistry was just beautiful. Leo supported her in her art, and Paige encouraged him in his music business. There’s a unique connection when two creative people fall in love with each other, I think it’s a blessing when you know that your spouse completely gets your passion.

Yep. The Vow is a must-watch rom-com if you need some creative inspiration. ;)

10. Marley & Me

It wasn’t just a story of a dog’s life. It’s the journey of John and Jennifer Grogan (Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston) who raised Marley as they raised a family.

Both of them writers, the earlier parts of the movie showed them working as reporters for competing newspapers. When Jennifer got pregnant with their second baby, she resigned from her job so she could raise their kids. Eventually, John’s writing career picked up. He started writing his own column, and his column served as a (sort of) memoir of his dog and his family.

I thought it was brilliant that they used the family’s milestones as markers to Marley’s life—from the time they got married to the time they were trying to have babies, and to actually raising babies. Through shifting careers and earning promotions and leaving jobs, to buying new homes and moving to different cities.

It was beautiful to watch the various seasons in the life of a growing family.. and how an adorable and insanely playful labrador stood as a witness to it all.

What inspires me

I wasn’t married yet the first time I saw this movie, and it didn’t have the same effect on me now that I have my own family. Although I’m not a dog person, I love watching John and Jennifer grow together and stay together through the struggles of marriage and family life.

Jen leaving a career she loved to focus on motherhood, and John passing up on some job opportunities to prioritize family—the story hits close to home for us, family makers. The mechanics of balancing family life and career, of being present for your kids and providing for them at the same time, of moving to a different city for a job opportunity and carefully considering your children’s future while making all of these choices.. hands down, #truestory to many of us.

And then, of course, there’s the dog. I think Marley was a representation of loyalty, companionship and unconditional love—we all need a Marley in our life!

Edited: December 2018

2 More Movies for the Musically-Inclined

The past few years gave us movies we’ll keep watching and singing along to for years to come! I’m adding these two to my list!

11. The Greatest Showman

12. Lalala Land

I think I may have gotten carried away writing this one! I hope you enjoyed reading this post, but most of all, I hope you’re able to take a nice long break from all your busy-ness this holiday season, prop your feet up, and enjoy watching!

How many of these movies have you seen? Which one is your favorite? Anything else you’d add to the list? :)

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A Spinkie event, you say? Expect magic and whimsy and all things dreamy. Also, photo-worthy spaces, everywhere you point your camera.

It’s been two weeks now since Spinkie’s 9th-year anniversary celebration and here we are, still talking about it. Dawn and Rain are still raving about the party, drawing canopies and rainbows and unicorns, and me, well, I’m still sifting through photographs. (We have A LOT!)

If you read the previous post, you already know that Spinkie holds a special place in our life as a family. So special that I occasionally (and unapologetically) wax poetic about it. :)

As we watch our daughters grow, in a way it feels like watching Spinkie grow as a brand too.

We’re very happy to have witnessed what went down at Green Sun Hotel last 10.19.19, especially as we were also celebrating our daughters’ 7th birthday this October. Not gonna lie, the twins did feel a bit like it was their own party! Haha.

Dawn and Rain had so much fun playing around all the magical spaces set up around the event venue. And we all enjoyed watching them, adorable Spinkie girls, work the runway in their “fairy dresses”.

Meeting Mutya

Meeting Mutya in person for the first time felt like meeting an old friend. Through the years I’ve interacted with her and her team online, exchanging DMs and emails every once in a while.

I remember that one time, a few years ago, when we lost one of our Bitbit dolls on a trip. I frantically emailed their team knowing Rain would be devastated once she found out we lost her Bun-bun (that’s what she calls it). Mutya made sure to have someone accommodate my rush order, which was something I truly appreciate.

It didn’t take a while for Rain to notice her missing bunny and was very sad and worried. A few days later a new Bitbit was delivered to our doorstep, and everything was alright in the world again.

Isn’t it funny how mothers like us can instantly connect and bond over these seemingly little things?

I encourage y’all to get to know the story and the people behind the brands you support, and the products you purchase for yourself and for your kids. We’re all prone to aimlessly buy and hoard things. I learned that being intentional in our purchases and knowing the causes and the people we support puts so much more value into the items we surround ourselves with and use every day.

Listening to Mutya talk about Spinkie’s story and how they happened to have created this global community of women helping women is nothing short of inspiring.

10.19.19. All the magic we normally see on Instagram came to life for a day in their anniversary celebration. Here are some of the event’s highlights, and the latest happenings in the magical world of Spinkie—

The launch of Spinkie Wear

Think real-life fairy dolls. That’s how I would describe this first collection of dresses by Spinkie Wear. Inspired by its very own doll collection, every piece is made with love, and silk, and tulle, and the same tasteful and timeless style that made Spinkie the global brand that it is today.

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You’ll love seeing your little fashionistas and ballerinas in these classic pieces, and dressing up as their favorite Spinkie doll!

Shop Spinkie Wear Dresses and Accessories Here

A Rare Spinkie Popup

I’ve never seen this many Spinkie toys and decors in one place! From its classic Bitbit the Rabbit line, to the Cafe Delice collection, to all these Dreamy Dolls, Princesses, Fairies, and Unicorns. The gang’s all here!

Dawn and Rain (and their mommy!) wanted to take home everything, but we ended up getting—no surprise here—the Princess Bunnies, these two specifically, plus some decorative pieces for their room. Thanks to Spinkie, we also took home some dolls from the Cafe Delice collection, which the twins are also crazy about!

Shop Spinkie’s Toy Collection Here

Magical Spaces with Spinkie

We’ve all seen and loved Spinkie’s signature Dreamy Canopy, but these sheer Teepees debuted and, needless to say, the kids and mommies are very happy!

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One of the most recent additions to Spinkie decorative pieces, these lightweight, multi-purpose Teepees are easy to set up in any room and can instantly transform a space. The colors are beautiful.

Shop Spinkie’s Decors Here

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We’re taking some of this Spinkie magic into our own home!

Back home, we’ve been purging Dawn & Rain’s toys, clothes, books, and spaces, especially now that they’re 7 years old and entering a new season.

These little humans, they grow so fast! Sooo fast. I’m perpetually catching my breath! Thankfully, these Spinkie decorative pieces transcend age. So whether you’re decorating a nursery or a toddler room or a school kids’ room, you can never go wrong with Spinkie decors and toys here and there. Dawn and Rain’s room has been a work in progress so far, but you’ll see a glimpse of that here on the blog soon, too. ;)

About Spinkie

Over the past 3 years, Spinkie has built a homegrown brand that was able to resonate with a global audience.

Most people online think of Spinkie as an Australian or British brand but they are, in fact, a global brand that has its roots in the Philippines. Spinkie is proud to support a growing community of Filipino Moms who lovingly sew its products and an international community of Moms who sell their products in their own countries, each one of them caring for their children the way they desire as they build their own careers at the same time.

Today, Spinkie is in 21 counties with over 65 stockists globally, upholding its vision to make magical spaces that aim to create more meaningful memories for both parents and kids.

Get Daily Dose of Spinkie Inspiration

Instagram | Facebook | Website

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Part 1

Our Spinkie Story

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Part 3

Dawn and Rain Turns 7

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Full disclosure: This series of essays is written for Spinkie. We’ve been happy Spinkie customers since 2012 and therefore personally purchased and collected many Spinkie products through the years. All opinions are my own and most photos here, unless otherwise stated, are also ours. :)

Many would have discovered Spinkie through their magical and inspiring Instagram presence. But for us, discovering Spinkie was more, shall I say, random (or fate!)

It was the year 2012. I was a new mom, on a quest to find our first Christmas gifts for our then barely 2-month old twin babies when I happened upon Spinkie’s stuffed bunnies in a little baby shop along E. Rodriguez Avenue.

I remember wanting to give our babies something they would love to carry around wherever we go, and something that would grow with them through the years.

We thought of getting them soft dolls, and I know this sounds strange but we were specific about finding stuffed bunnies. Nope, not teddy bears, not baby dolls, and not any kind of stuffed animals. We wanted to find bunnies.

And that was a challenge because, while there were plenty of plush bunnies everywhere, we needed something that’s safe for newborns.

So back to that day in 2012, on a random shelf at some unexpected shop in the middle of nowhere, we found the perfect stuffed bunnies for our babies. They’re called “Bitbit the Rabbit“, and they’re just the right size and style we were looking for.

Spinkie’s Bitbit the Rabbit

Quickly looking it up online, I found that these plush bunnies are—

• made with non-allergenic and dustmite-proof materials,
• with soft dot minky texture that’s safe for biting and snuggling,
• designed for sensory development, teething, and sleep assistance,
• and triple-stitched for utmost durability and baby safety

I also learned that, although the brand was initially established in Singapore, it’s proudly Filipino-made and created by our very own Mutya Laxa-Buensuceso. These details, and the fact that the bunnies are obviously so adorable, won me for life.

And that’s the story of how these Bitbit the Rabbit toys ended up under the tree on our daughters’ first Christmas, and ultimately how Spinkie became a part of our life.

Perhaps the twins won’t remember that first Christmas morning the way we would but just as we hoped for, Dawn and Rain literally grew up with these Spinkie dolls like they’re part of the family.

If you browse through our old photographs, you’d spot these bunnies here and there—each one attached to a memory, big and small.

For the first 3 years of their life, we looooved the classic Bitbit the Rabbit in Flamingo Pink. This color may be phased out already though, but this light pink one is very close.

They love the bunnies so much that, at one point, I had to quietly replace their old worn-out Bitbits—poor overworked little playthings, lol—without them knowing. And another time I had to repurchase the same Bitbit to replace one we happened to lose on a trip.

The girls had these bunnies tagging along literally everywhere. From bedtime to playtime, from cuddles to trips.

So when they turned 3 years old, we got them Bitbits again for Christmas. The bigger ones, this time.

I mean, it worked so well the first time, might as well do it again, right? ;)

From here on out, their collection of Spinkie dolls just keeps growing and growing.

Needless to say, I naturally gravitate to Spinkie whenever I’m looking for special gifts to buy the girls! (To be honest, it feels like buying gifts for myself too!)

And I love that I never have to second-guess if they will love them or not.

In many milestones of our life as a family, there’s a little Spinkie story somewhere.

So much that, as we watch our daughters grow, it feels like watching Spinkie grow as a brand too.

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Today Spinkie has added more bunnies in their Bitbit the Rabbit line (the Princess Bunnies are Dawn and Rain’s current favorites), plus more whimsical toys to choose from.

Mutya, being a mother herself, knows just how important it is to create tasteful and timeless pieces that parents and children alike will love, no matter the age.

They’ve since introduced decors that make for magical spaces, and naturally, we also have this Sheer Canopy (Mist) draped on top of the twin’s bed.

And recently, as Spinkie celebrated its 9th year, they also introduced their very own clothing line, Spinkiewear, as well as more additions to their collection of decors and toys. Which I’ll talk more about in the next post.

I can gush about Spinkie for days!

Not only because I genuinely love their products (for our daughters and for myself haha), but also because the story behind this much loved, globally known, and humbly Filipino-made brand is just truly inspiring!

Behind every piece of thoughtfully created decor and toy is a group of moms who work hard with their hearts on their sleeves, and have their own children’s best interests in mind. As a result, we get to support, benefit from, and enjoy their labor of love too. So much magic and goodness from all sides!

Congratulations, Mutya and Team, for a great run so far! I’m excited to see what’s more in store for you guys, and for all of us Spinkie lovers around the world.

Shop Dawn & Rain’s Current Spinkie Doll Collection

Just click the images and it will take you to their corresponding product pages.

Shop More Spinkie Decors and Toys Here

About Spinkie

Over the past 3 years, Spinkie has built a homegrown brand that was able to resonate with a global audience.

Most people online think of Spinkie as an Australian or British brand but they are, in fact, a global brand that has its roots in the Philippines. Spinkie is proud to support a growing community of Filipino Moms who lovingly sew its products and an international community of Moms who sell their products in their own countries, each one of them caring for their children the way they desire as they build their own careers at the same time.

Today, Spinkie is in 21 counties with over 65 stockists globally, upholding its vision to make magical spaces that aim to create more meaningful memories for both parents and kids.

Get Daily Dose of Spinkie Inspiration

Instagram | Facebook | Website

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Part 2

Magical Spaces with Spinkie

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Part 3

Dawn and Rain Turns 7

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Full disclosure: This series of essays is written for Spinkie. We’ve been happy Spinkie customers since 2012 and therefore personally purchased and collected many Spinkie products through the years. All opinions are my own and most photos in this blog, unless otherwise stated, are also ours. :)