Chazonator's Blog

I'm Here

2012-02-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

I wrote this poem when I was 25 years old. Oddly enough, it still applies to my life after all these years.

Write me a letter
Drop me a line
Dial my number any time
Cause I'm here

It doesn't matter
What we've said
Or what kind of lives we've led
I'm still here

I can't be held responsible
For what my daddy did
He was an abuser and I was just a kid
But I'm here

I was a victim
As much as you
I was abused by my daddy too
And I'm here

I've tried to erase the pain
I've looked to death and hoped to gain
An end to all the misery
But even death avoided me
I'm still here

Many sisters and brothers
Nieces nephews and others
Many not knowing me anymore
Not knowing what I'm living for
But I'm here

Once I lived for all of you
I tried to be who you wanted me to
What good is being in a family
If I can't be who I want to be
So I'm here

I'll always be a phone call away
But I no longer wait to hear you say
How much you love me or how much you care
Why wait for something that was never there

I'm here

Will the world end in 2012?

2012-01-30T15:28:00.000-08:00

I recently had a strange dream that led me on an investigative path to discover truth in our world. In the dream, it was the 4th of July, and I walked out into my back yard to see fireworks bursting in the NorthWestern sky above our home in Illinois. What I witnessed, in my dream, was a UFO, flying among the fireworks. It was round, and it was spinning, and it was lit up like a Christmas tree. This dream inspired me to seek out the TV series "Ancient Aliens" and revisit what I'd learned watching it last year. I was delighted to find a second season of the series on Netflix, and I watched all 10 new shows. It's truly fascinating. The theory the series presents is that there is a strong connection between the pyramids of Egypt and Mexico, and in landscape designs in Peru etc., and the rapidly increasing UFO reports and videos going viral on the web. There is very compelling evidence that this connection is real. For example, the ancient Mayans made many predictions in their famous calendar and hieroglyphs that came true. The Mayans predicted, to the exact date, when white, bearded Gods would arrive on sea vessels and create destruction and chaos. What they called Gods were the Spaniards who attacked them and drastically reduced their numbers during the famed Spanish Inquisition. The Mayans, who are as famous for their prehistoric pottery, could not have possibly built their pyramids with the technology they had on Earth. The question is, who helped them? Many believe they were helped and warned by extraterrestrials. Like modern man, not all Mayans believed in the prophesy, but those who saw destruction coming saved their race and moved on into the new world, preserving their ancient culture when and wherever possible. In recent years, the Mayan code has been unlocked, and the secrets they shared are shocking. The Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012. The translations detail a knowledge of astronomy that wasn't discovered by the white man until recently, in historic terms. How did the Mayans know that the Earth would align with other planets and the sun? How did they know that black holes existed, when our own science has just discovered the first real black hole in the past decade? We cannot ignore these facts, and they are very well documented and indisputable.

After hundreds of hours of researching each phenomena, such as Stone henge and most recently, the Georgia Guide Stones, and the New World Order conspiracy theories, I'm coming to a conclusion that I didn't expect to find. Yes, our governments are keeping secrets. That's never been a secret. You can't get close to area 51, it's true, but guess what, you can't get close to any military installation. It is and always has been a matter of National Security. Imagine if the press had access to nuclear weapons. Now that's scary. And so, this secrecy is not shocking. If a New World Order is defined by government control, we are already there friends, and have been for all our lives. Stupid laws put good people in jail every day. Smoke some weed, go to jail. Refuse to pay taxes because your equality isn't guaranteed, and go to jail. Healthcare and food are for the rich, not the poor. Outside the bubble of Capitalism, death from starvation and preventable illness kills millions. Somehow, we are okay with that, as long as its not in our own back yard. Just ask the Mayans today how this new world is working out for them. Not very well. Without a credit card or a corporation telling you when to clock in and where, most Americans are screwed. Isn't credit the real mark of the beast? Doesn't the police brutality during the "Occupy" protests and MidEast uprisings just reek of a world-wide police state? Aren't we already living under a corporately controlled New World Order that we contribute to daily with every gallon of gas we buy, or the plastic bottle of water we fill the land and oceans with? By the way, that bottle of water costs more per gallon than the gas in the USA, so switch to the tap and save some cash. If someone is going to poison your water, it'll be a hell of a lot easier to do in an bottle. And are we not leaving carbon footprints behind for our grandchildren to clean up after? Of course we are. Humanity is a cancer to planet Earth, and here I was thinking I coined the phrase, only to discover it inscribed on the Georgia Guide Stones. I was curious to see what they actually said, after hearing about them in so many shows and YouTube videos, but never being told precisely what they outline. Below are the 10 points made on these stones. Some call them commandments, but that is an inaccurate description. Nothing is commanded, but simply guidelines that, in the opinion of those who erected this monument, are in the best interest of the planet and the continuation of our species. Below each guideline, you will find my opinion.

Georgia Guide Stones

1) Maintain humanity under 500 million in perpetual balance with nature.

My opinion: This says to maintain under 500 million, it says nothing about killing off 90% of the world population. While it is easy for conspiracy theorists to find evidence of a Bilderberg, illuminati, New World Order conspiracy to "cull" the population, this monument makes no mention of such a thing. Is it not conceivable that this monument was erected in the same fashion as the famous Stone Henge in England because it is a continuation of the ancient prophesy that Stone Henge implies, the end of days in a celestial event that we can watch for, using the very markers that stand, aligned with the stars? Could the message really be another warning that something from the sky will destroy the planet, and a New World is coming, and cannot be prevented? Even the bible implies that the Earth will be destroyed by fire. Could this be a warning, in conjunction with the Mayan prediction that our planetary alignment, the position of the black hole, and the solar activity peek we are now finding ourselves entering is imminent? This makes more sense to me than a mass depopulation of 90% of the planet by rich people who want the world for themselves. Have you ever tried to get rid of cockroaches or mice? Good luck with that. I fail to believe that a bunch of entitled, stuck up hogs are capable of controlling anything but their own bank accounts. Secret societies, sure, but their ability and willingness to kill mankind, not so much. This isn't ancient scripture, it's recent, man made text from 1979. The language is clear. Maintain doesn't mean destroy. Modern Christianity wouldn't accept these guidelines, and so it makes sense they would refer to them as anti Christ. Being a gay man with no intention of reproducing, I believe I have less reason to trust mainstream Christianity than I do, R C Christian, the anonymous person who contracted the construction of these stones. One thing is indisputable, there is definitely an imbalance of nature when there are more people to eat the creatures that naturally occur in nature. As my bow hunting nephew says, "If people had to live off the land, all the game animals would be gone fast! And he's absolutely right. We've been breeding and genetically modifying livestock and produce for far too long, and it's stripping the land of its natural bounty. Ask yourself is this really what our creator intended? Is this harmony? I think not.

2) guide reproduction wisely improving fitness and diversity.

My opinion: Isn't it funny how we don't take to the streets to protest the long standing laws in China that dictate how many children a family can have? As long as it doesn't affect us here, why should we care right? Most of us don't agree with these laws, but neither can we imagine the consequence of not having them in place for so long. 7 billion people, sucking up oil and water and digging up the earth for cultivation and building are bound to have an adverse affect on nature. The average American doesn't bother to plant trees or flowers, but they sure don't mind popping out 2.5 clones they can't take care of, much less raise with any amount of social responsibility. In 2000, I wrote a song called Decade of Gay. The lyrics describe how just one decade without procreation could resolve many of the worlds worst problems like homelessness and starvation and chaos. That's not going to happen. If you think the same God who created humans approves of the planetary devastation we commit, the you're not worshipping a God that loves all creation at all, are you? and what's wrong with fitness and diversity? Isn't the goal of every species to ensure its survival through passing on the best genes?

3) unite humanity with a living new language

My opinion: Good news friends, no more pressing 1 for English! If your frustration is that you don't understand your neighbor, you won't have to worry about it again.

4) rule passion, faith, tradition, and all things with tempered reason

My opinion: Passion is a double edged sword. Ever heard of passion killing? Feeling passionately about faith can lead one to violate the very faith they believe in. I've witnessed this first hand through judgmental Christians, violating their own bible to tell me I'm going to hell. Judge not, lest ye be judged, right. There's no tempered reason behind the so called Christians in Uganda trying to create laws that kill gays who do not give birth to the many AIDS babies starving in their 3rd world country. Imagine what these heathens could accomplish if they focussed their hatred and resources for the betterment of their society, rather than killing innocent gay people who harm nobody. There's a big difference between being passionate and compassionate.

5) protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts

My opinion: It's easy for those of us living in the land of the World Police to believe that we are in a real democracy, but we never have been. If this were a democracy, everyone would have equal opportunity, and that is clearly not the case. 1% of our country's population controls 40% of our wealth. If that's Capitalism, you can keep it. When 1% use their wealth and power to control our laws and keep us working like dogs without paying a living wage, while affordable healthcare isn't accessible, it's a shame, not a democracy. When people with money can literally get away with murder, while the poorest people spend years behind bars for smoking or selling weed, it's not equality. Alcohol is legal, and accessible and making big corporations richer. They like dumbing us down, and they will do anything to prevent the mind opening experience and medical benefits that marijuana provides. You can get as high as you want on prescription drugs, and lots of people do, but heaven forbid you should smoke a joint in America! And let's not forget the sodomy laws that ignored Hetero-oral and anal sex. Only gay men were targeted by them. Anal sex doesn't lead to unwanted children.

6) let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court

My opinion: This doesn't sound like a doomsday apocalypse that will be expected to kill everyone on the planet to me. How will they weed us out and pick and choose who survives? They can't, but they can anticipate the events, predicted by the ancients, and assume that people of many nations will survive. A world order is just that, order in a chaotic world. That's not as scary as a solar flare forcing us all into holes in the ground, is it. The World court deals with inter-national crimes. We already have the United Nations. Just imagine them actually doing their jobs. George Bush would have been put out of our misery the moment he committed his first war crime, in violation of the Geneva Convention.

7) avoid petty laws and useless officials

My opinion: See all my previous opinions. The UN the Supreme Court in the USA, and indeed, the Geneva Convention itself are useless and worthless in protecting the best interests of humanity.

8) balance personal rights with social duties

When your right to free speech violates my right to live freely, there's a hole in our system. Three words, God Hates Fags. I can defend free speech, but I refuse to defend hate speech. The distinction is clear to those of us with a conscience. We have a social duty to respect each other. This is no different from the biblical guideline which says, "Do unto others as you'd have done unto you". It's unfortunate that so many Christians defend Leviticus more than they do this golden rule.

9) Prize truth, beauty, love, seeking harmony with the infinite

My opinion: The truth is the most important thing that anyone can find for themselves. All thinking creatures seek the truth. Where is the food? Who is God? Why are we here? Where did we come from? The most intelligent people I know are not the ones who sit back and take any words out of ANY book, apply blind faith and call it truth. Never take yes for an answer friends, unless you've confirmed it for yourselves. Don't take my word for that, unless it makes absolute sense to you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or is it? Natural beauty is all around us. Tourists flock to beaches by the billions. Poetry is written about mountain tops and flowers and lakes and trees. I find beauty in every human being, even it requires me to picture a bitchy adult as an innocent child. We have all been beautiful, at one time or another. Isn't it a shame that our beauty isn't nurtured by the love we all long for and deserve? Love is universal. It is the opposite of hate. If this monument was erected by devil worshipers, then where is the word hate? Sure, my satanist friends will chime in and say they don't hate, but your monster music says something different. It's like listening to the cookie monster on crack singing the praises of demons. That's not love, and hate is not prescribed or implied anywhere on this granite document.

10) be not a cancer on the earth, leave room for nature, leave room for nature

There's that word again, cancer. Who is a cancer on the earth? Corporations! They dig up oil and reroute our natural waterways, only to pollute the planet for the greed of wealth. I am a cancer on the planet right now too, and so are you. Every gallon of fuel we burn, every piece of plastic we dispose of, and every tree that is cut down to build our home effects nature, and creates an ecological imbalance. The unchecked audacity of our species to claim self superiority over every other biological and botanical life form is really destructive and unsustainable. The bible says be fruitful. It doesn't say anything about ripping out the Rainforest lungs of the planet, or forcing other species into extinction. The creator "himself" can surely not be satisfied with the collective weapon of mass destruction that humanity has become. News flash. Billions of people are starving around the planet. On a global scale, we US citizens are the 1% hoarding the food, water and energy resources while the rest starve and suffer. We should really all be living off the grid, but we are addicted to our own culture of fast food and media distraction. We are the Old World Order, and that has to change before we end up eating ourselves. Why shouldn't we leave room for nature? What has nature ever done to harm us? Be good to nature, and nature will be good to you. Anyone who has ever planted a garden can tell you that.

In closing, no, I'm not convinced that aliens have been or will return to the Earth. I'm at as much of a loss as anybody to explain these ancient structures. I do, however, believe in solar flares, and the scientific discovery that our Earth's magnetosphere has a gaping hole that leaves our planet vulnerable to solar radiation. Yes, wealthy people are building underground condos, but they can't control the sun, or where its radiation settles, or can they? Perhaps the HAARP program is being used for the purpose of controlling the impending radiation more than it is to control the weather. HAARP is a series of 72 ft talk antennas which can direct electromagnetic waves that can create and move cloud formations. Since radiation could, hypothetically, be moved electromagnetically as well, I'm more inclined to believe that it's what HAARP is for. Does that mean these antennas are any less vulnerable to a direct hit from the sun, no. Does the government know what's coming, of course they do. Is there a conspiracy to hide the truth? Of course there is. If every news anchor went on the air and told the world that a catastrophic event was coming, and when, you would witness social unrest and chaos that would put everybody on the planet at risk. I'm inclined to believe that solar flares could come in stages, and many will see them coming and try to prepare. For some, that means collecting canned food, living off the grid, and/or seeking shelter underground. For others, it would mean, "These are my last days and God isn't going to help me, so I'm going to rob you and live my last day like a king". Personally, I see no reason why anyone wouldn't want to have a gun handy, just in case. We can't trust our governments to protect us now, what would make anyone think we can trust them in the future. Hurricane Katrina was just a preview of what we can expect. Of course FEMA has built a bunch of prisons and stockpiled coffins. It's called catastrophe preparedness, and I do believe they know a lot that we do not about what could be coming our way. With every stage of the cataclysmic solar flare events we could experience, there will be social unrest and a need to imprison looters and thieves. There would be a need for caskets, in order to humanely bury the massive numbers of dead that this destruction could bring. If they were planning on just dumping our bodies into a landfill, like the Nazis, they wouldn't need caskets. The so called FEMA camps would be a necessary safe place for families to go, in order to escape chaos and homelessness. Why wouldn't they be designed to keep people from coming and going. It's security. I'm not advising anyone to sign up for a trailer. I'm just saying that things could get so bad that you might wish you had a reservation at one of these camps by the time it's all over. Is December 21, 2012 the end of the world? I don't think so. However, I can't ignore the ancient Mayan predictions, or their accuracy to date any more than I can explain them, and so it just makes sense to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. One thing is for certain, New World Order conspiracy, natural catastrophe or anything else of such a grand scale cannot be avoided by mere mortals like you or me. So don't lose sleep over something you cannot control. If you have faith in a God, then put your trust in your creator and pray for yourselves and your families. If you believe in an afterlife, you have nothing to worry about at all. Put it in God's hands.

I do not hate Ted Haggard

2012-01-05T06:49:00.000-08:00

Those who follow me can imagine that this past week has been very stressful for me. I made the decision to share private details about my connection to Ted Haggard, and it stirred up quite a stink. I've continued to avoid the media, for now, as I don't see how it would benefit anybody for me to give a detailed interview before Ted is questioned by them first and has his opportunity to respond with the truth. He was my friend, and I loved him. I still care about Ted and his family, which is why this was so hard to do. I had to weigh the pros and cons, and I determined that my tens of thousands of gay friends and fans deserve the truth. I've been in touch with Ted via Facebook and we have literally written a novel between us, that details my concerns and his inability to comprehend them. While Ted and I do not see eye to eye on same sex marriage or what he perceives as "God's best plan" for me. I've tried very hard to stay his friend, hoping that his thinking would evolve and that I could eventually help him understand that separate is never equal. His statements are damaging, and create a second class citizenship within his church. He says he's evolving. I'm not willing to write him off just yet. There are a lot of good things about this man. He has helped impoverished and addicted people, and that's more than most do. He doesn't want to be put into anybody's box, and he doesn't describe himself as bisexual. That's his prerogative, but his same sex attraction continues, regardless of the words used to describe it. There is no shame in same sex attraction. The shame comes from denying it, allowing his wife to claim that he's been healed of it, and judging my same sex attraction as less than what God wants for us. He is willing to help Gary Busey marry his girlfriend, but he wouldn't consider officiating my civil union ceremony. If I'm not equal to him, in his own mind, then I cannot continue to support his efforts to "resurrect" himself.

I am a bisexual Christian. I was born with same sex attraction, and it showed at a very early age. Ted and I share a childhood trauma. We were both victims of child molestation. While Ted apparently spent his life thinking his molester made him this way, I see it differently. The man who molested me when i was 12 years old, specifically picked me to molest because he knew I had a secret, and to keep my secret, I had to keep his. It's taken years of living an open life for me to understand this. I can forgive Ted for catching up at his own pace. It's a process. I didn't even realize I had been molested until I was 16. I spent 4 years of my life blaming myself for what an adult did to me. Ted says that he never claimed to be healed of anything other than his childhood trauma. I'd say that's a miraculous healing, considering the decades of damage molestation caused me. I spent much of my adult life thinking I was only worth what people would pay me for sex. The gifts the molester gave me to keep quiet, introduced me to prostitution, and it made sexual intimacy and love two separate things in my mind for so long, ruining my relationships before they started.

Ted and Gayle's relationship is real. They do love each other and support each other. They've been together for 33 years, and have raised a beautiful family together. I'm not trying to wreck anybody's home. I don't think that's possible here. My blog was as much a confessional as an exposé. I did wrong. I am in a monogamous relationship, and for me to lust after Ted, and share in sex talk on the phone was a violation of my own principals. My spouse and I have been together almost 20 years, and he deserves better from me than that.

I've been an equality activist and a citizen journalist since 2007. I've been friends with Ted Haggard for almost 2 years. Let me be very clear about this, it wasn't until November, 2011 that Ted shared with me how my partnership would not be accepted in his church. That's the reason I'm doing this. As my friend, he cannot treat me, or anyone like me, less than equal. I have too much love for myself to allow that. As with all my reporting, if it's affecting me, it's probably affecting others, and should be shared. This doesn't mean that I want to read nasty, unfounded comments about Ted. Unlike the other two men who had sexual experiences with Ted, Mike Jones and Grant Haas, I have nothing to gain, financially or otherwise by telling my truth. I'm not writing a book, doing a one man show, accepting any pay off or going on TV to discuss this matter. I'm just getting it all off of my chest right here, and a clear conscience is all I want.

As I stated in my previous blog, I anticipate backlash, from the gay and Christian communities. I can handle it. I have thick skin. What I won't tolerate are lying idiots like child sex offender Nelson Garcia talking smack about me online. Garcia was convicted in 2003 for attempting to lure a young boy, under age 16, into sex. This creep shouldn't be allowed on the Internet, much less the freedom to blog. He claimed to be my biggest fan until I discovered what a perv he was and told him to f--k off for good. Child molesters are not a part of the LGBT community, and we gays are as disgusted by them as anyone. I'm not going to increase his page views by providing a link to his lies. Instead, I'm sharing this link to his sex offender page with his photo and address. I've reported him to google for violating my photo copyright, and his blogging days are numbered. That's not a physical threat. I wouldn't touch him with a 12 foot pole. I'm just saying that I'll file a restraining order against him if I have to, but I'm not going to let this child molesting piece of crap keep lying about me. He's not a gay activist. He is a predator.

http://evil-unveiled.com/Nelson_Garcia

Click here to see his sex offender page

The Naked Truth About Ted Haggard

2011-12-31T09:40:00.000-08:00

The Naked Truth About Ted Haggard

Now that Wife Swap is about to air, and my old friend Ted Haggard is sharing his life with the world, he is, no doubt, expecting newfound fame and fortune, to replace the old ones he lost in 2006. For those who haven't followed the story, Pastor Ted was the founder of New Life Church in Colorado Springs. He was caught lying to reporters in 2006 about a sexual encounter he had with a male prostitute , and using crystal meth. Once the truth was exposed, Ted and his family were basically kicked out of Colorado and the church, and Ted signed an agreement that prohibited him from talking about the incident and the church for years. I had covered his story from the beginning in my various avenues of reporting in the capacity of a citizen journalist. I talked about Ted on the radio, here in Lake County, IL. I covered his story for Radio Gay International Network, and Canada's Indie Talent Network. I blogged about it and detailed the scandal repeatedly in my Gay News videos. I wanted the real truth about Ted Haggard. I never imagined I'd actually get it, but eventually, I did.

I found Ted on Facebook back in Feb of 2010. I had just uploaded a slew of racy promo photos for my gay news web series, and they were definitely attention grabbers. I was shocked when Ted replied to a message I sent him, with a friend request. He was very kind and sweet. I admit that my initial motivation for contacting Ted was not even clear to me at this point. A part of me still hated him for his anti homosexual agenda, which I had been informed of repeatedly in the news. That same video of him, over and over again taking about how the bible tells us what we should think about homosexuality etc. Ted seemed desperate to justify himself to me, a gay man. He insisted that the video clip was taken out of context and that he is not a homophobe. He insisted that the media had exaggerated and lied about the depth of his relationship with Mike Jones, the male escort. Ted told me that he didn't have an intimate relationship with this man and there was no love. There was no intimacy, just Mike Jones masturbating Ted to climax. Ted did not consider himself to be gay or a drug addict. Sensing his distrust in me, I understood that if I wanted to get to the truth about Ted Haggard, I would have to become his friend, but how? Making friends has never been a problem for someone like me. I'm very outgoing. I know how to use my appeal to draw someone in and keep their attention. Ted would prove to be a bit of a challenge. I had to meet him face to face. Only then could I really know if there was enough chemistry to captivate him. I got that chance a month later when he and his wife Gayle gave a presentation at a church in Kenosha Wisconsin. I put on my butchest jeans and shirt and went to church. I was finally going to meet Ted Haggard. The object of my journalistic curiosity, in the flesh.

Here's where it gets racy, so if you're under 18, you may want to just head to Disney.com about now. Meeting Ted was a turn on. His teeth are perfect and his hair is so pretty. He clearly takes good care of himself, and why not? He is a public person. He recognized me immediately after the service, as I headed towards the exit, and he hugged me, not one, not two, but three times before I left the building. His lips touched my ear as he whispered to me, "Chaz, God loves you." my knees went weak and I almost hit the floor. I squeezed him tightly, to keep standing up, and the awkwardness of the moment found us chest to chest, inhaling each others breath. I don't know if anybody else picked up on it, but there was certainly chemistry there. It wasn't long before Ted and I were on the phone, and I made a promise to him to maintain total secrecy about anything he shared. What I've since learned is that a promise is only as good as the person who you make it to.

In the years since Teds scandal broke, he has made numerous news and network appearances to proclaim his "healing" by God. He has publicly claimed that he no longer has homosexual thoughts or tendencies. This is completely false. Ted has displayed homosexual tendencies to me within the past two years, and it's a secret I am no longer willing to keep. We have had lengthy e mail correspondence with Ted. We have had phone conversations, all verifiable. On one particular date while Ted was being hosted in the home of a family in St Louis, MO, we practically had phone sex,as he changed to get ready to go to 24 hour fitness, a gym he frequents regularly, at all hours. My phone statement of that date shows the multiple calls that Ted made to me that day, as he seemed restless and rambunctious. We discussed his real sexual interests. He told me about his party formula of porno, poppers, meth and Viagra and how he is into light sexual contact. I sent him a pic of me nude, to his phone, and he couldn't stop telling me how much I turn him on. He told me about some gay porn site he had a paid membership to. None of this was news to me. The only thing new was that he hadn't been cured of these desires. I realized that Ted was struggling. I've never doubted his love for his wife, because I've been there. I was once married and in the closet. I sat on this secret for a long time. I kept his secret because I felt sorry for Ted and his family, and I thought he sincerely cared about me. I didn't judge his sexuality. As I'm nearing the two year mark of my "friendship" with Ted, I'm starting to see a pattern re emerging with him. His fan base has grown large and yet he has never used his platform to speak out against bullying, much less how it relates to LGBT people. He has stated, publicly, that gays are welcome in his church, but privately, he has told me something different, and that's where I draw the line. Gay couples are not recognized within the walls of his new church St James. My "friend" would not accept my relationship in his church. This forced me to look back over the course of our friendship and find other inconsistencies and instances in which I was used by Ted to make himself look better, all the while, he publicly denied me credit for any of it. While I have felt so sorry for Ted and his family, and defended him to the LGBT community, I now sense that he saw me as nothing more than one of many pawns in his game of reinvention. That was a mistake. I will not allow anybody to use me to make himself look better than he is, especially if that somebody is under the misconception that he is morally superior to me. Ted Haggard is not healed of his sexual desires. He never will be, because there is no cure for being born the way he is. It feels wrong to cover for him at this stage. When Ted can accept this, we can resume our friendship in reality, and not on the down low. If I attended his church with my family, it would make me a hypocrite, and that's not me. Ted has specifically told me that my civil union would not be accepted at St James church. My family is just as valid in God's eyes as the Haggard family is, and God welcomes us as we are. I will not bear false witness.

Now I know all the negative attention I'm gonna get from this blog. People will call me a lying fame whore. I admit the timing is perfect for all this to come to light. Wife Swap is about to expose Ted to a world of new fans. Its precisely the title of the show that makes this necessary. If marriage itself is truly a religious institution, as is so often claimed, then surely wife swapping, under any circumstance, is a violation of that sacredness. While its true there's no sex being swapped, the time, energy and caring that families receive from mothers is also sacred. So my civil union wouldn't be accepted in Ted's church, but it's perfectly fine for the preacher to share his wife for fame and fortune? For all the conversations I've shared with Ted, his wife Gayle has never spoken to me once. I'm quite sure she's well aware of the truth about her husband. Just look at the money they're about to make together.

Prediction:

Ted will most likely deny this and do everything he can t suppress the truth. He will probably blow up my phone as soon as he reads this. He may threaten t sue me, and he's welcome to try. If there's anything I've learned, as an investigative reporter, it is how to cover my ass and document the facts. I have a long history of being honest, even when it's not in my own best interest, and I'll gladly submit to a lie detector test.

Every 5 hours, a gay person commits suicide. I have weighed the pros and cons of publishing this blog in my mind a million times. On one hand, there's Ted, his secret, my promise and his family. His family have been victimized enough. On the other hand, there are countless LBGT youth seeking God's love and guidance, who are being rejected, if only subtly by the church. For me to enter a new year keeping a secret that enables a preacher to be seen as healed of his homosexuality, when I know differently, would be wrong. Let the cards fall where they may. The truth shall set us all free.

Judge John David Myles of Simpsonville, KY, you're corruption is coming to an end

2011-08-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

Corrupt Judge John David Myles

I am furious about this incompetent, idiotic, corrupt judge named John David Myles. How a pasty old homo wannabe like him ever got elected in Shelby County Kentucky to reign in family court is beyond my comprehension. He doesn't even have any kids of his own. What the hell qualifies him to make a decision about anybody else' kids? He has dragged out a custody battle in my family for years, ripping my niece and her kids apart, and that is going to stop. This blog is not solely intended for the purpose of humiliating him, if that happens, it's just a cool side affect. The reality is that he is biased, and unethical, and as soon as I finish this blog, he's being reported to the Judicial Conduct Commission in Kentucky to face charges for his ridiculous, hateful behaviour. Once the charges are filed, I'll be forwarding this blog and all other evidence against him, to his local newspapers and TV stations, as well as to any National media outlet that takes an interest. When a judge goes rogue, there are really only two avenues one can take to correct the matter, 1) report him to his higher authority, and 2) expose him in the press. I fully intend to pursue both options to the fullest extent of the law. This man deserves twice the stress that he causes, and if he has a conscience or sense of justice at all, he will be stressed to high hell by the time I'm done. For the record, I am not, nor will I ever, or ever have I made any illegal threats against this man, but I'll be damned if I don't take every available opportunity to put him in his place and shed a light on his corrupt ways.

First off, allow me to offer my personal observations of this apparent closet case. There is an entire youtube channel dedicated to his corruption, and it couldn't be clearer that he shouldn't be working at Burger King, much less be sitting behind his bench. He's rude and bitchy and more effeminate than most transsexual women I know. Secondly, it's clear that he hates his job, as he persistently whines and bitches about having to do it, as seen on publicly documented video of him calling a man who represented himself a fool. Only a fool would say that after taking an oath to uphold court ethics. He allowed one drug addicted mother to retain custody of her kids, after clear, video evidence was presented to him that she was neglecting them. That video shows her kids, in her basement, catching a ramp on fire and skateboarding on it. Myle's response was to refuse to look at that video, and to say, "How she chooses to heat her home in the Winter is not my concern." Either he's incredibly stupid, and that's rare for a judge, or he's taken the wrong side of the custody case and couldn't really care less about the children in question. Personally, I think it's a whole lot of both! He refuses to allow children who want to return to their parent/s any say in court, violating their right to do so. He may do a song and dance around that, but not without being called out publicly, and repeatedly. It is my mission to have him removed from the bench, and if the commission refuses to do so, I'll contribute to the campaign of whoever runs against him in the next election, and he will not retain his position. Shelby County tax payers deserve justice for their contributions to his salary, and all they are getting is a rogue idiot with a chip on his shoulder.He hasn't earned the respect of his constituents, much less the salary he receives from their hard earned paychecks.

His partner in crime, the county attorney, a Mr. Hart Megibben, is equally corrupt. My sister-stalker Starliene Waits is always causing trouble, filing false police reports on family members when she's angry at them, stealing the identity of her grandchildren to get cell phones without paying the bill, doctor shopping for percocet, and selling them to anyone with 10 dollars and a promise not to tell, etc.. This prosecutor refuses to prosecute Starliene, and I know why. He once represented her in a custody case, and that's a clear conflict of interest. He should step aside and allow someone competent to do his job as well. The Shelbyville police chief, Mr. Robert Schutte, refuses to enforce any law against Starliene. In fact, he's just a tool, of revenge that is, to Starliene. She calls her friend at dispatch, she calls the police chief, and he sends cops to anybody's house, for any reason Starliene gives him, to harrass whoever she calls him on. He's just a glorified pitt bull from hell, and he needs to be fired! I don't know what it is that my sister is holding over their heads, dealing to them, or doing with these men, but clearly, in their eyes, she can do no wrong, even when real evidence of her criminal activity is put right in front of their butt ugly faces! What I do know is that by the time I'm finished exposing their hypocrisy and ethical violations of the law they're sworn to uphold, they won't be able to show their faces in public without being seen as the completely corrupt assholes they really are! Strong language? Sure, but at least it's honest, and that's more than I can say for any of these bozos!

Hart Megibben

Robert Schutte

Judge Myles, girlfriend, you picked the wrong side of a custody battle, and it's far reaching affects have reached me. I have the dates and times of your misconduct, such as when you agreed to be judge and counsel, in favor of my sister Starliene in her ongoing custody battle with her daughter. You will be held accountable, and your little butt buddies too. All 3 of you manbitches can google yourselves, for the rest of your lives and find this blog on the first page/ That's what happens when you become a public figure and are exposed for corruption, so deal with it! You'll all be lucky if you don't have my producer friend from 20/20 crawling up your asses with a National investigative piece that will tell the world of your disgusting behavior. None of you clowns is above the law, and you will be held accountable for the shit you've done. I'll be forwarding the link to this blog to the mayor of Shelbyville, and to every resident with a publicly accessible e mail account within a 20 mile radius of your workplace, and since it contains pure facts, and my protected free speech opinion, you can't do anything about it but read it and weep, unless of course, you'd like to actually do your job and put Starliene Waits behind bars where she belongs, for once and for all!

Watch actual court video of Judge John David Myles, refusing to review evidence, demonstrating clear bias, insulting those who stand before him, denying a child the right to speak in court, and just being the asshole he really is at the following youtube channel, designed specifically, by someone whose family was ripped apart by this corrupt judge at the link below:

Click here to see real video of Judge Myles violating his oath, repeatedly

Here's a topix link with 28 ineresting comments on Judge Myles

http://www.topix.com/forum/city/lawrenceburg-ky/TAIU6B0LDDPPK61J4

County Clerk takes the Civil out of my Union

2011-08-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

My civil union was not quite as civil as I had hoped. It turns out, nobody at the Lake County courthouse, here in Illinois, had any clue about how to advise me of my right to spousal name change. In fact, I was flat out wrongly advised, repeatedly, and told that I have to file for a legal, adult change of name. It costs $250 to file, not to mention any attorney fees. It takes weeks to months to complete because it requires me to change the name on my birth certificate. I don't have that kind of time or patience. No other married partner in IL has to file a legal name change. It's not equality if you have to pay for it. And so, I began my quest for the truth. It didn't take long to discover the website for LAMBDA legal, and follow the link to their Civil Union informational page. According to their page, all I have to do is go to the local DMV, take my civil union certificate and pay $5 for a name change. Then, I go to Social Security and the passport agency and basically do the same. It's so simple! I called the DMV to be sure it is true and a nice lady confirmed that it is. I'd like to say that everything at the courthouse was just a misunderstanding and that I believe the officials, in the Lake County Clerk's office, are well meaning. However, the call I made this afternoon to their office leads me to think otherwise. The woman who answered the phone was rude and misinformed and trying to misinform me, once again, unapologetically.

I had called to find out why it's taking so long to receive my certificate and she said, after keeping me on hold for quite a while, that these things take time. I asked if she was aware of the mix up last week regarding civil union partners and spousal name change. She immediately responded by telling me it has to be done in the courts. I told her that's not true. She insisted that it was true and specifically stated that it was because civil unions do not entitle partners to all the same rights as married couples. I must admit that it felt good to inform her that I absolutely do have every single right that any other married spouse in Illinois has, and that she can call the DMV and ask Tania herself. That seemed to silence her, momentarily, and then she said, "I'll share this information with everybody in the office. The governor's office sent us nothing about this.".

Wouldn't it be better if the Lake County Clerk's office actually took the time to review the laws they are sworn, under oath, to uphold and apply equally? Would it be too much to ask for someone to admit that they don't know the answer, rather than send me on a wild goose chase, based on their own personal assumption that I am not equal under the law?

I thought I'd get a different answer from the woman who sat at at the civil union information desk. We gave her our $10 and asked about how I can change my name. She became almost hostile, in defense of her obvious ignorance. I wasn't trying to sound accusatory, I simply wanted the correct info. She informed me that she is not a lawyer, civil unions are not marriages and that she doesn't give information, she just accepts payments. That's when I pointed to the arrow, pointing at her, that said INFO. I told her that I didn't see why I'd need an attorney, when no other married couple brings one to their courthouse wedding. I said, consider me pro se. Here's a print out of the law, here's how it's interpreted by the IL Bar association website, as printed yesterday. Either you know or you don't. If you don't, then, I'll take whatever steps are necessary to inform you, when I find out.

What keeps repeating in my head is the notion, by any of these people, that I am not a spouse and that I'm not subject to the same legal rights and responsibilities. I believe that my situation will be a recurring one if County Clerks across the state are not bothering to inform themselves of the law and the common processes that marriage and civil unions share. I believe that if the county clerk had put as much energy and manpower into learning the law they oversee, as they did into vehemently disagreeing with me, in front of everyone there that day, this might not happen to another couple, on their special day.

The Story of a deceptive thief named Starliene

2011-07-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

The following blog is not slanderous or fictional. It is a very detailed timeline of the criminal activity of one Mrs. Starliene Waits of Pleasureville, Kentucky. Public record will verify that it is correct and accurate information.

The reason I bring you this information is because my reputation is being attacked by this person. She is my older sister, and she has taken advantage of me all of my life. That ends today. Starliene Waits wrote an e mail message to my minor son today, in which she falsely accuses me of child molestation, implies that I've molested my own son. She then proceeded to invoke the name of our deceased, gay brother William, to insist that he told her nasty things about me that are simply not true. In this blog, I will demonstrate to you that not only is Starliene Waits a pathological criminal, and liar, but she's also a con artist an a guilty of child endangerment. I wouldn't go to these lengths to expose the hypocrisy of just anybody. It was her decision to involve my child, and her desire to continue to spread lies about me that have led to this reaction. I know she's reading this, so, Star, This is your fucking life!

It's easy to see how her conniving smirk could be mistaken for a grandmotherly smile. She's just that deceptive, but here's what you probably don't know.

Timeline

1992 - Starliene tricked our mother into co signing on a loan for a vehicle. When Starliene missed payments on the vehicle, she, and our mother, were sued. Starliene was ordered to pay over $1300

1993 - A finance company sues Starliene and her husband and wins $2800 plus.

1994 - William, our now deceased sibling, asks Starliene to care for his small dog. He receives information that Star has been subjecting the dog to living outdoors, in extreme temperatures, and the animal was infested with fleas to the point of infected sores, located throughout it's little body. Upon receiving a call from one of Starliene's children, William rescued the dog from Starlienes home, with the aide of our youngest sister, Chrissy. Starliene's reaction was to threaten her youngest brother William and her youngest sister Chrissy with a shotgun. In July of 1994, both William and Chrissy filed orders of protection against Starliene. Video taped evidence of this dogs condition, after living with Star does exist, and can be posted online. For Starliene to invoke William's name, may he rest in peace, in an attempt to bring mental harm to my child is unforgivable. Especially when you consider that in this life, he had absolutely no trust in Starliene Waits, whatsoever. In fact, he couldnt' stand her, and I have him saying such, in more colorful language, on home video, as well.

1994- continued with Starliene being convicted of theft by deception for writing a bad check to a hair salon. She paid over $82 in restitution and was sentenced to 10 days in jail. She went on to get sued by a finance company who successfully won oer $2100.

1997 - Starliene, the woman who has been continuously granted custody over her grandchildren, was convicted of speeding with kids in her vehicle. If that's not alarming enough, she was also convicted of driving with a child without proper restraint. Even Brittany Spears didn't get away with that. That is considered child endangerment. How could she get custody of her grandkids with a rap sheet like this?

1998 - Starliene was convicted on two separate incidents for theft by deception for writing bad checks, costing her nearly $300 in restitution and fines.

1999 - Starliene is convicted of theft by deception for yet another bad check, this time, at Dairy Mart. She's ordered to pay &85 plus, in restitution, $25 fine and sentenced to 10 days in jail.

2008 - Starliene Waits is charged with failure to produce an auto insurance card when pulled over by a cop. Starliene purchased insurance on the same day she was pulled over, and presented her new insurance card to Judge Heron, who dismissed the case without catching the date Starliene purchased insurance. Not only did Starliene perjure herself, but she made a fool of the judge and got away with it. The Shelby County courthouse can find this information in their own records anytime they want, but it doesn't seem they've bothered to.

2009 - Starliene and her her husband are successfully sued by a Mark D. for restitution and sentenced to pay $750 plus court costs.

2011 - The brother of Starliene's husband attempts to file a domestic violence report against Starliene and her husband. The same judge who has been keeping Starliene's grandchildren in her custody, Judge John David Myles, denied this order of protection against Starliene by her brother in law. The judge cited his denial reason as being due to "insufficient relationship". Apparently, unless Starliene's blood is in your veins, you can't get an order of protection against her with Judge Myles. You also can't get your kids back from her.

Currently, Starliene Waits is facing eviction from an old country house. Last Winter, Starliene forced her grandchildren to endure frigid temperatures, in a home that is not equipped with any heating source at all. The entire family was left no choice but to bundle up together in one room with a space heater, while Starliene and her husband attempted to warm the house with a gas cooking stove, which is extremely dangerous. Star doesn't have any children. The 3 she gave birth to are all adults now, and her youngest daughter is now 30 years old. Starliene has custody of her two, teen daughters, thanks to Judge Myles. By comparison, Starliene's daughter doesn't have much of a criminal history at all. In fact, if you were to examine her record, you'd find that the only charges brought against her were by her own mother Starliene. Starliene once sent her daughter to jail for 9 days after her daughter failed to pay child support. Starliene knew that her daughter couldn't afford the usual &700 child support payment that month. She had just accompanied her daughter to the hospital for major surgery, which had put her daughter out of work, causing the late payment. That's the kind of mother she is, and there's absolutely no reason for anyone, especially a judge, to believe that she could make a good caregiver for an animal, much less a child.

So Starliene, If you've read this far, and you're actually literate enough to understand the words I've said..... Understand this! You are busted!

Willow Palin Faggot... Oh My!!!!

2010-11-17T12:37:00.000-08:00

Willow Palin

(Mommy taught me how to hate fatties and fags)

Willow Palin has been caught calling a kid a faggot and making fun of another kid for being overweight on facebook.
Sarah Palin is a shitty parent! I’ve been saying it all along. I thought that maybe she gained some maternal instincts when she decided to quit her job as Governor of Alaska, but nope, she was just grubbing more money from a book deal that made her richer and more neglectful of her satanic spawn. Somebody needs to tell Sarah that her little girl Willow is a spoiled little homophobic, fattie hatin’, bigoted bully from hell! And who the fuck names their kid after a tree that looks like it stays stoned anyway? Willow? WTF, did they name her after the tree she was conceived under when Todd picked his nose and fingered Sarah that fateful fucking day? Pa-leeeeeeeeeeze! This little apple didn’t fall far from the tree, and apparently, she landed on her head. This is the perfect example of what happens when idiotic, bullies grow up and give birth to more idiotic bullies. It’s time for the Palin’s to break the cycle. It’s time to stop raising their children like cattle, and actually feed their social awareness. Willow heard that shit from her mama and daddy, and she repeated it with the same hate they’ve shown her. That’s how bullying works. Someone needs to educate this child. As for her mother, well, I believe it’s been said, time and time again, you can’t teach an old bitch new tricks.

Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for EVIL!!!!!

2010-10-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

Will disenchanted LGBT Democrats sway this election? You bet your sweet ass we will! I’ve been bitched out by whiny, pussy-fied gays on facebook for saying it, but I have a right to my opinion, as much as anybody else. Not voting is the new vote! Now, you can do whatever the hell you want with your vote, but I’m writing myself in! Why? It’s because I have lost faith in our system, entirely. Sure, I’ll vote for my local and state representatives, but I am not going to cast a vote for a Democrat, and I damn sure will not vote for a Republican, on a Federal level, because they’re all full of shit! They’re all corporate whores. You want me to jump into the Republican snake pit? Because the Democratic corporate whores sure haven't earned my trust!

Obama has lied to us. He cares more about baiting us into voting for Democrats next month than he does about ending Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Don’t believe me? Consider the following.

DADT was overturned by Federal Judge Virginia Phillips. A day after the military decided to allow gays to openly join, the Obama administration’s Department of Justice appealed, successfully for a stay on the judge’s decision, and put DADT back into effect. Why? Obama said it was because DADT was passed by the Congress, and that Congress should be the ones to overturn it. Clearly, Obama was just using DADT as an election wedge issue, to get gays to vote for a Democratic Congress. He had no intention of getting it overturned in his first term. On his watch? Yeah, he says that it will be overturned “On his watch”. For weeks, predictions and polls have been indicating that the Senate is turning Republican, and the Dems are lagging behind in almost every key state. Obama is not stupid enough to tell us the truth. The truth is that a majority Republican Senate is not going to allow him to pass any equality issue for gays. If I know this, then so does he. He’s trying to extend his “watch” by 4 more years, and I’m not falling for his stick and carrot bullshit. His watch is already over, as far as I am concerned. He’s lied to us, and he’s lied to all American people. Just look around you. Whereas, I was one of his biggest supporters, in 2008, like a lot of others, I won’t be fooled twice in 2012. He can’t keep saying he inherited this war or this economy, when he’s already half way through his term. This is Obama’s war. This is Obama’s economy, and these are his lies. Here’s a list of broken promises.

1) He promised Hispanic voters that he would begin immigration reform in the first year. He hasn’t even started it.

2) He promised to invest in green technology and put Americans to work re-building America’s infrastructure. Our roads and bridges are still falling apart, and electric cars are twice the price of regular ones, the same size, and where are the re charge stations for them, and the ethanol “flex” vehicles? More bullshit!

3) Unemployment has not been significantly reduced. It’s actually increased because the figures don’t take into consideration how many people have collected all they’re going to receive from the benefits, and still can’t find work. It also doesn’t include those who are underemployed, such as part time workers, or those who have had to accept less than half their former salaries. This is his unemployment crisis now friends.

4) Home foreclosures? September saw the highest number of home foreclosures in any month since 30 years ago, while bank CEO’s continue to collect million dollar bonuses, on Obama’s watch. He is the foreclosure king!

Now, before you insult my integrity, with another “Rome wasn’t built in a day” analogy, understand this. Rome wasn’t torn down the day after it was built either. DADT is Rome, and a judge built the end of it, and this asshole tore it down the next day. So that won’t fly here. You can’t keep saying that he hasn’t had time. He’s had 2 years to keep his promises, and all he has done is lie. He should have been presidenting, instead of campaigning, but he only cares about 4 more years of fame. He’s a useless, pathetic fame whore!

So, what are we, the gay democrats who have witnessed his lies, for political gain, supposed to do? Vote Republican? Do you really think we’re stupid enough to vote for their evil, just because it now appears to be the lesser of two evils? Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil, so what’s the fucking point? It’s like jumping into a snake pit because you have a “civic duty” do to so. Fuck that. I’ll write my own name in. At least I know the person I’m voting for can be trusted. I don’t trust any of these corporate whores anymore. When I say that America is no longer a democracy, I mean it. Democracy may mean that the majority rules, but it doesn’t mean the majority has a right to vote against my equality. It also doesn’t mean that the majority should be suckered into voting for the candidate with the most corporate funding, who has more ads that tell his bullshit stories either. Our US Supreme Court was auctioned off to the highest bidder when they decided to allow corporate interests to have the same right to buy candidates as the average citizen. These entities are influencing the masses, who don’t have time to get the truth, and believe the bullshit propaganda they are fed in these attack ads. Our vote doesn’t mean shit anymore friends. So I no longer believe that anyone who doesn’t vote doesn’t have a right to complain. Everyone with an ounce of common sense should have started complaining a long time ago, before our country was hijacked by the same people who fired you, or overcharged you, or worked slave laborers to death so you could afford to shop at Walmart, or those who denied you health insurance, or made you pay more than you would have if you lived in a country that actually gave more of a shit about the health of it’s citizens than it does the profits of its HMO’s. It’s time for everybody to wake up and smell the hypocrisy! Not voting is the new vote. It tells those in power that we see how naked their imperialistic asses really are, and we stand on the principal that voting for the lesser of two evils is just an idiotic, fucking evil thing to do! That’s my opinion, and I stand behind it. If you don’t like it, then you can run away with your tail between your legs, thinking that your vote hold some kind of magical power. It doesn’t!

Naked Truth Gay News In Review - Anderson Cooper! Come Out! Come Out!!!

2010-10-19T10:04:00.000-07:00

Check out the video below. If you haven't watched my online series before, feel free to go to my official website at http://www.chazonator.com/ where the player always has the latest video, and plays everything I've uploaded 24/7.

Suicide in Norman Oklahoma - Letter to town council

2010-10-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

R.I.P Zach Harrington

I am disgusted by the latest suicide, of a 19 year old, gay, youth named Zach Harrington, after he was berated at a town counsil meeting in Norman Oklahoma recently. I've just sent the following e mail to them, and I hope they all read it and take it to heart. I encourage anyone else who wants to write to them, and give them a piece of your mind do so, at the e mail address listed at the bottom of this blog. This has to stop! We have to stop it!

I'd like to congratulate your city council, and the bigoted citizens who drove 19 year old Zach Harrington to suicide. Your town is now on the map, as being one of the most intolerant, hypocritical, shameful towns in this so called democracy we call America.

For the record, Zach wasn't asking for "special rights". He wasn't trying to expose anyone to anything that might have occurred in "his bedroom". He was asking for equality, which, to define it for you, means, the same rights that every other tax paying citizen there has. Instead, what he got was a group of hateful hypocrites, posing as Christians, doing and saying exactly the opposite of what Christ himself would have said and done.
I am a gay man with a large online following. I have a same sex partner that I've been with for 18 years. How many of you can say that you've been married that long, to the same person? We have two adopted children. How many of you have adopted, rather than show the world what takes place, "in your bedroom" by popping out little, baby, look a likes, in an overpopulated world? How many of you have sacrificed anything, for anybody, in the name of unconditional love? Clearly not enough!

I saw the video on www.Queerty.com in which an over the hill, overweight hick stood there and condemned my "lifestyle", along with a misguided bi racial, overweight woman, who refused to acknowledge the fact that her own forefathers had to be enslaved, hanged and beaten in order for her to be able to stand there and brag about her degree. Their combined ignorance of equality is only surpassed by their ignorance of the very bible they spew, selective quotes from. You know the bible, the book that says that gluttony and judging others is sinful. They forget that the constitution also protects Jews, Muslims and atheists’ right to equality. They refuse to understand why those of us who actually are producing quality citizens, out of the children rejected by heterosexuals who also claimed to be Christian, are seeking the same legal protection as everyone else. They could show a little compassion, or at the very least, a bit of common sense.

If there is a Christian God, and he is capable of damning, then your city council will be on that list of the damned. The blood of this young, gay man is on the hands of those who cast him away from Christ, and every last one of those idiots will pay for it in hell! You are on a slippery slope, and you’re sliding right into the hell you‘ve condemned us to!

For the record, it's not a “lifestyle“, it's called a life, and it's not the right to have sex that any of us are asking for. We can do that anytime we want. We want the same legal protections for ourselves, which our tax dollars finance, for you to enjoy and take for granted. We will get them, even if we are forced to publicly humiliate every crappy, little town in this country to get there! You are the abomination!

Sincerely, Carl Shepherd

chazonator.com

Write your own letter to these bigots at:

Action.Center@NormanOK.gov

The Fake Celebrities on Larry King Live on Bullying

2010-10-05T08:09:00.000-07:00

On Larry King Live last night, the guests included prominent, openly gay entertainers, and then there was Kathy Griffin. Kathy Griffin calls herself a D list celebrity, and she dresses like a tacky drag queen, so she assumes the right to speak for gays and lesbians. That assumption is incorrect, on her part, and here’s why. When Larry asked her what can be done to stop bullying, her answer was: “Come to my show”. Come on Kathy Griffin, is that the best you can do? Come to your fucking show? Like that’s going to end anything. Sure, we can throw money at Kathy Griffin and hope that it makes it to a worthy cause, that actually combats bullying, but that only serves to make her more famous and put more money into her fake, greedy hands. If you’ve read my past few blogs, you’ll know that I don’t trust any organized charity to do the right thing, especially if it’s being pimped out by fake celebrities who spend more money on make up than they do the causes they claim to support. This puts Kathy Griffin down on the Z list in my book!

Chely Wright Claims to be the first openly gay country artist. Lies! That would be K D Lang. Wright took the opportunity on Larry King, last night, to promote herself and toot her own horn so much, that I wondered when she was going to offer a solution, rather than a self promotion. She looks like a porn star, not an activist. She just came out of the closet recently, so, in essence, like her Latino one hit wonder, counterpart Ricky Martin, she’s a day late and a dollar short! I didn’t even know who the hell she was until last night. How the hell are we supposed to look up to these former closet cases who made millions and only came out when it was cool to be gay in Hollywood? We can’t. If you’ve been hating yourself for your entire, public career, and are just coming out of the closet and jumping onto the latest news trend to get more publicity, don’t act like you’re any kind of role model, because you’re part of the problem, not the solution.

And then, there’s Sir Elton John, and his little bit part in the “Give A Damn” video series. Sir Elton says, “Every time I hear about a hate crime, I am shocked and saddened.” Bitch must stay in shock and in a state of constant depression, considering that, here in the real world, there’s a hate crime committed every hour! He can’t spew that shit and go unchecked by me, since he was one of the very people who made me feel like a big whore! I was hired by his assistant to give him a massage, and he asked for a hand job, and paid for it. I didn’t mind stroking his tiny penis to a climax, even though he was cheating on his man when I did, but I wasn’t too happy to see that I was paid only $350 for driving 2 ½ hours to get to his back stage dressing room, and had to wait over 2 hours for him to show up with his entourage. This “give a damn video” appearance is just another way for him to show off his new wig, which looks like a bird’s nest, sticking out of a tree trunk! The man is faker than fake, and I’ve got the back stage passes, and unused concert tickets, and knowledge of his pacemaker and tattoo to prove I’ve experienced his fakeness first hand. If Sir Eltie really “gives a damn” he’ll shell out a million of his own cash to the cause, and put his money where his mouth is. Until then, he should shut his self serving, self promoting, geriatric, old pie hole! Legend my ass!

Wanda Sykes is truly an honest person, from everything I’ve seen from or about her. She’s the real deal. She wasn’t plugging any book, or concert tour, or comedy special last night. This wasn’t about her. It was about ending bullying. Neil Patrick Harris is the same, from what I can tell. Tim Gunn and Nate Berkus appeared on the show with their own positive messages as well, without pimping out themselves for publicity. Margaret Cho was on “Dancing With The Stars”, doing her part to spread the word, because she really cares.

Lance Bass, on the other hand, needs to give it up. Once again, the former N Synch back up singer, wants us to think he gives a damn, when the only thing he’s trying to do is revive his career. While I admit that I was never a fan, I’m even less of a fan of anyone who makes millions, pretending to be straight. Here’s my tip for Lance Bass. Please, go to the moon, and stay there. It’s because of people like my friends and myself who have lived openly, our entire adult lives, that fakers like Bass and Martin, Elton John and Wright can use their homosexuality to get on TV today. We took the brunt of the bullying, when we were vulnerable teens, while they joined the A list for their 15 minutes of fake fame, and gave nothing back to anyone.

Hollywood is a joke friends. Most of the entertainers don’t know when to stop reading a script and really care. My advice to anyone who wants to stop bullying is to open your mouth and speak out against it. More people are likely to believe the average citizen, who has nothing gain by speaking up, than they will any actor who is just playing another role to serve his or her own best interests. Suicide prevention takes real people with real emotion and sincerity. The hotlines are wonderful, and I’m not saying we shouldn’t donate to keep them operational, we should. At the same time, we are all human, and most of us have teenaged people in our lives who can benefit from our experience and our advice. Never underestimate your role in any child’s life. It is far more valuable and affective than anything they can see or hear on T.V.

Here's the video clip of the last part of the show that pissed me off the most. Listen to these self serving celebs pretending they care while pimping themselves out to the masses.

Here's the link to a video, on a youtube page, by someone who must be well connected to the Corrupt News Network, since they're allowed to post all CNN content and get hundreds of thousands of views.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4MDiQMn79A

LGBT leadership as much to blame for teen suicide as the bullies. Here's why.

2010-10-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

The more we hear about gay, teen suicide, in the news, the more we are hearing from LGBT leadership about the issue. What concerns me the most is that the most prominent leaders of the equality movement only seem to jump on trending issues that will give them more publicity, after the damage is done. What ever happened to being at the forefront of the movement, and actually addressing issues before they become the focus of National news? A few months ago, before the recent rash of suicides making the news, Cindi Lauper and Lady GaGa were on daytime TV pimping out the We Give A Damn foundation, and I got behind it. I reported on the story and gave Cindi Lauper exactly what she wanted…. More free publicity. What I’ve learned since is shocking. I encouraged everyone I know to go to wegiveadamn.org and donate their time or money to the cause. What I’ve discovered since then is that my friends who donated haven’t even received confirmation of their donations. In fact, the website is so impossible to navigate that it’s more like a T shirt shop than a charity organization. My niece had to buy a T shirt just to give money to the cause. Not only does she not have a T shirt yet, but she didn’t even get a thank you e mail, or any response, whatsoever, acknowledging that her money has even been received. That’s not giving a damn! That’s a sick joke, and it makes both Lauper and GaGa look like a couple of typical fame whores, willing to ride on the back of a good cause to gain fans. All you little monsters can get pissed off at me all you want, but you’re a special kinda stupid of you think this is okay, cause it’s not! The only way I see GaGa feeding homeless kids, anytime soon, is if she defrosts that freakish meat dress of hers and grills it up for them! I’ve repeatedly e mailed both of Cindi Lauper’s foundations and have not received a single response. That’s not giving a damn! That’s damning those who give! And for a project that received so much media attention, why in the hell does this foundation have less members than I have on my myspace friends list? I haven’t been on National TV since 2008!

Truth Wins out is a website that claims to counter the ex gay myth and right wing hate. The false mentality that gays can be cured causes so many gays to kill themselves, when they realize that it is a myth. Had the founder of Truth Wins Out not been bashing a gay man on a Christian site, and making fun of his mental health issues, they might have actually done their job and countered the hate. Instead, Wayne Besen, the founder, was actually contributing to it. You can’t claim to counter right wing hate, when you’re joining members of the right wing to hate on a fellow gay man. They’re not the solution, they are the fucking cause!

And if I get one more posted video of Ellen Degeneres and her pre-recorded message on bullying, I’m gonna puke in my own pie hole! She abandoned the gay movement the day she got her talk show and sold us all out to do celeb interviews. When Ellen cares enough to actually address this issue on her talk show, rather than trying to go viral with a video she’s directing to her LGBT fan base, I’ll give her credit for caring. Until then, she’s preaching to the choir, and that’s not going to end this National epidemic, now is it?

Perez Hilton appeared on CNN in a freeze frame skype interview to claim that he’s re-evaluating the way he operates his celebrity hate site. Yeah right Perez! When you grow the balls to start using your own Hispanic name, I’ll stop thinking that you’re just another self hating homo who cares about more than getting your pugged nose featured on any network that will have you!

Back to Truth Wins Out, and their hateful blogs and postings, in which founder Wayne Besen verbally bashes a fellow gay man. If this gay man commits suicide because of something Besen said online, it would make him no better than the students who exposed the Rutgers student on a webcast, and pushed him to jump off a bridge. This isn’t activism. This is gay on gay hate, and we don’t have to support it, yet, you’d be amazed at the organizations that are accepting it. GLAAD, the Stonewall Society, and several members of the gay media have been informed of this situation. Do you think they have bothered to address the issue? If you answered yes, you’d be wrong. They all, apparently condone this behavior, or are afraid to get involved because of the negative publicity it could bring to our movement. This spineless approach by gay leaders and organizations makes me GLAAD I haven’t donated a penny to any of them, and I never will. If you want to help a gay teen, throw money or food or shelter at them yourself, but don’t hand it over to any of these assholes who do nothing for anybody but themselves. Until we get rid of the fake activists who are raking in our gay dollars while giving nothing back to those of who need them the most, we’re only making the problem worse. It’s time to kick them all to the curb and start all over. A leader’s power is only as strong as his number of followers. If you’re a follower of any of the afore mentioned leaders, you’re a part of the problem, not the solution.

Bishop Eddie Long - The hypocrisy of hypocrisy!

2010-09-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

Bishop Eddie Long, who operates a tax exempt, mega church, with 25,000 members, has been busted! Yeah, you can say he’s innocent until proven guilty, but if you didn’t say that about Michael Jackson, it makes you as big a hypocrite as Long himself. You can’t have it both ways. Either you take the side of the victims, or the culprit. In this case, without his day in civil court, it’s clear that Eddie Long has a history of hypocrisy, which cannot be denied, or overlooked.

I don’t think I’m going out on a limb when I say that Eddie Long is a money grubbing, celebrity wannabe, who feels entitled to luxuries that his congregants aren’t getting, but yet, they pay for, every time they tithe, (put money into his tin can). Whereas, any legit church would use that money to help those in need, and to maintain operations of the building, etc…, Eddie Long has used it to give himself a lavish lifestyle, that most of us can only dream of. He flies around in his own private jet. He drives around in his pimped out Bentley, and he takes young boys on exotic vacations, yet can only afford one bed for them to sleep in together. You’d have to be Helen Keller on crack not to believe that he isn’t the dirty old man these young victims say he is.

And if all this doesn’t demonstrate the magnitude of hypocrisy of this overblown, steroidal turd, how about his position on homosexuality? He’s literally bashed gays, and stomped all over any hope that any young, gay boys listening to him have of getting to heaven. He claims that homosexuality is “spiritual abortion”. I think it’s time for his congregation to abort his tired, old ass, and fast! I also believe that the IRS needs to revoke his tax exempt status. Anyone preaching that kind of hatred toward gays, or any other minority, should not be funded by tax dollars, paid by gays, or any other minority. We paid for the jet this pig flies in. If there’s any kind of vengeful God, like the one he’s promoting, that jet will crash and burn with his nasty, rusty old ass in it! And if you’ve read all this, and you still think there’s a chance that he’s an innocent man, I’ve got a bridge to sell you in Alaska, where his future beard lives.

I was a teenaged prostitute. Why should you give a damn?

2010-09-23T05:11:00.000-07:00

There is no greater need for funding in the LGBT community than there is for our youth. All across America, LGBT youth are struggling to come to terms with the way society casts them out and rejects them. The rate of suicide among LGBT teens is double that of the rest of the population. I know this, because I was homeless, and in the street, at a very young age. Even as Wayne Besen, the founder of Truth Wins Out, a non profit gay activism charity, is publicly bashing me for my past, I am not ashamed. I went through hell, and quite frankly, it’s because of people like Besen, and organizations like TWO, which divert funding from those who need it the most, that I experienced a harder time than I should have. Until we gays get our act together, and focus on the weakest among us, we will never be strong, as a whole. While I realize that I am arming Besen, who is attacking me daily, on a Christian website, I feel I must share my story. My hope is that you will take a few moments to picture yourself in the shoes I once wore, as a gay teen, and take with you, an understanding of what it’s like to feel that nobody, anywhere, gives a damn.

To give you the full picture, I have to go back to when I was only 12 years old, living with my mom, in a government subsidized apartment complex in a town called Eminence, Kentucky. I was the eighth, of ten children my mother raised, with the help of social security and food stamps. When a neighbor boy introduced me to his Uncle, a known child molester, I became an innocent victim. The man, whose name was Harry Hardin, had targeted me, specifically because I was gay. I didn’t know I was gay, but apparently, most everyone who met me did. Sensing my insecurity and shame, Harry gained my trust by giving me gifts and taking me to theme parks. One night, during a sleepover at Harry’s house, I woke up to find him performing oral sex on me. It’s hard to describe the combination of feelings I had when this happened. There was guilt, for sure, combined with the excitement of sex, and the fear of the unknown. You see, I didn’t feel very loved, at the time. There was little attention paid to my needs by anyone, and so, I was willing to let Harry do what he wanted to me, because my young body, mind and soul needed nurturing, and I believed that this was the only way I was going to get any of that. A lot of people like to blame their child molester for making them gay. In my case, it was the opposite. My molester chose me because I was gay, and he took advantage of the silence that my shame afforded him, again and again. It took four years for me to understand that I had even been molested. By that time, I was sixteen, and on my own in Chicago, using my body to survive on the streets.

Initially, I was very naïve. I’ll never forget my first trick. I had been to the beach with a gay youth group that I had joined, when a friend asked me to walk to the store and get us some chips and soda. He handed me a couple of dollars and I walked a few blocks to Broadway and Belmont, in Boystown. As I walked along, I noticed a car, slowly following me, with an older man checking me out. He smiled. I smiled back. He asked if I wanted a ride, and I said sure. Getting into this mans car could have been the last thing I ever did, but he was kind of cute, and I didn’t value my life as much as I did getting laid. The man proceeded to drive around to the back of a hi rise building and park in a dark corner of the parking lot. He asked if he could go down on me, and I said, sure. He did his thing, and when it was done, he reached into his pocket and pulled out nine dollars.
“This is all I have.” he said. “I hope you don’t mind.”

I didn’t understand. This man seemed to feel obligated to give me something for my time, and who was I to refuse. I returned to the beach, a little while later with two bags of chips and a 6 pack of soda. I told my friend about it and he said to me.

“You stupid bitch! You could have got fifty bucks!”

And that’s when I realized that I would never have to go hungry again, as long as I had something that someone was willing to pay for. The next few tricks were hit and miss, with customers ripping me off, insulting me, and leading me to believe that I was only worth whatever they chose to pay me for my body. This was the height of the AIDS crisis, and some of my clients explained safer sex practices to me. Somehow, I made it through all this without contracting anything worse than crabs. I still consider that to be a miracle. I am now 42 years old and HIV negative.

At seventeen, I let the manager of a bar called Normandy suck me off in the basement dressing room of the bar. I begged him for a job, and he hired me as a stripper. I would get up on the bar, strip down to a thong, and then dodge ashtrays, cocktails and ceiling fans, as I worked my way from man to man, gyrating in their faces, for tips. Some of the older men were generous. Some of the younger men were mean. Eventually, I ended up working for tips only, as the manager was taking my $20 base pay and putting it up his own nose. I’d try to get my money’s worth in free drinks, when patrons weren’t buying them for me. It was easier to wake up with a hangover, than it was to wake up to the reality that I was a teenaged whore in a thong.

By the time I was 19, I had left Chicago for the warmer climate of Miami Beach. Life was much harder there, as I found myself competing with straight boys, hustling the streets for crack. I was lucky and smart enough not to get pulled into the drugs. The sporadic, hundred dollar tricks I turned on the corner of Collins and 21st street, were barely enough to feed me, and did not keep a roof over my head. I spent many nights sleeping near the boardwalk, trying not to get arrested. Desperate for security, I said yes to the first wealthy man who would have me. It didn’t last long, but I did get an apartment out of the deal. In order to pay the rent, after our first break up, I turned to the gay porn industry. My younger brother William, having ran away from home, after coming out to my mom, would stay with me, whenever he didn’t have his own boyfriends taking care of him. This only added to my desperation, and forced me to set a bad example for him that I continue to beat myself up for, long after his untimely and tragic death in 2000. Had I been able to set a better example for him, would his life had taken a different path? This is a question that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

For the record, I did work regular jobs, whenever my living situation lasted long enough to apply for a job and get hired. I was a dishwasher at a pancake house. A waiter at a steak house. I even worked for a market research company, calling people and performing consumer surveys. I wasn’t lazy. I was simply desperate. I didn’t graduate from high school until I was 21, but I did graduate. I never gave up on trying to educate myself, even when there were no available resources for me to do so.

Finally, at the age of 22, after a string of cheap porno video gigs, I met the man I live with today. He offered me security and love and more luxury that I had ever known. I haven’t left his side, since the day we met. On October 6th, it will be our 18th anniversary. I had always promised myself that, if I ever got a chance, I would pay it forward, and help prevent a child from going through the hell I experienced as a desperate child. When the opportunity to foster a baby boy presented itself to us, we accepted, and a couple of years later, we were blessed to be able to adopt him. Shortly after the adoption, his mother gave birth to his baby brother. Without questioning it, we took him in as well, and our family was complete. They are now 16 and 14 years old, healthy, happy and well cared for.

I tell you all this, not to make you feel sorry for me, but rather to encourage you to do your part. If you’ve read this far, and are moved, in some small way, by my life experience, my hope is that you will help a homeless youth today. I’m not asking for your money. I don’t run a charity. What I’m asking you to do is give a damn. In my own opinion, we can cram all the dollars into organizations like Truth Wins Out, and GLAAD, and HRC, but ultimately, until we fix the problems that our gay youth are facing, there will never really be equality. These groups may serve a purpose, but they will be serving a lot less of us, if we don’t prevent these young people from killing themselves, or putting their lives at risk, in the sex industry. And that’s why, without any official connection, or direct, personal benefit to myself, I whole heartedly encourage everyone I know to click on the following link, learn more about ways that you can help, and get involved. It only takes a minute to join Cindi Lauper, Lady Gaga, and other famous celebrities who have added their voices to this campaign to help homeless, LGBT youth. I can’t think of a more worthy, or affective way to ensure our equality than by taking care of those who will be actively fighting for it, in the future.

http://www.wegiveadamn.org/

The gay mafia does exist, and here's the evidence!

2010-09-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

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If you’ve been following my blogs for the past few days, you will know that I am embattled in a conflict with Wayne Besen, the founder of Truth Wins Out, a non profit organization, which takes in gay dollars, who has been publicly bashing a fellow gay man in comments he’s submitted to a Christian blog called “Protect Families” The blog is monetized, so every time Besen goes there, he’s putting money in their pockets, thereby supporting them with comments and money. When I called Wayne Besen out on this, he refused to directly answer my concern, and decided to leave the following comment on the protect families blog:

Wayne Besen said...

“Hahaha
The Chasterbator makes me laugh. The only connection to gay money this degenerate lowlife has is to the pennies various Johns left on the motel dresser after tricks. Yet he will "put me out of business." Can I stop laughing?

What we have, is a former failed porn extra in Chaz defending an admitted stalker (Nahmid) with the help of a known child molester. I'm overwhelmed by the credibility of this motley crew.

Losers of the world unite!! Creeps of America speak out!
Seriously, please keep up your little campaign. My job is to battle extremism. A nut like you shows I've angered the right people.”

Oh, you angered someone alright Wayne, but it’s the wrong people, the ones you’re supposed to be standing up for. This will ultimately be the end of your career, begging for gay dollars and enjoying tax exempt status. Had you remained focused on your own mission statement, to begin with, this blog would not exist, and everyone who reads it would never have a clue about what a fraud you really are.

Lisa Darden of HupTalent, an executive producer of LOGO’s Out Music Awards says:

Lisa: “Some people in these circles have a much better track record than others. Wayne and I both have good track records. I don't work with frauds and Wayne has had almost 5 years to prove himself to me and myself to him. We are solid- we don't agree on everything and we do some things very differently but we share a similar heart and we have a similar mission. I KNOW him and I know he is not exposing or calling your friend out for no reason. Your history is colorful too and it would behoove you to make sure you know what your talking about before you start or rather continue this mission to "call Wayne out". You may find yourself in a similar or much worse posistion one day- what goes around does, often, does come around! What I found on my own-honestly troubled me.”

Sounds like a threat to me, one she can follow up on and get sued for!

Lisa: “Apparently Nelson Garcia is a know child-molester who was convicted of possessing child porn. If true- I personally find that to be predatory and repugnant. Children need protection not to be used for sexual gratification for adults. NAMBLA is code for CHILD MOLESTORS CLUB. We have laws in place to protect children for a reason. If this behavior is in your opinion a shining beacon for the gay community- I want to turn in my card as well Carl.”

For someone who claims to have done some investigative reporting on me, Lisa should really get her facts straight. Never have I condoned Nelson Garcia’s crime, nor will I ever. I have no pity for anyone found guilty of molesting a child, and NAMBLA members need to be lined up and shot. I predicted that Wayne Besen would try to connect me to Garcia, who apparently left comments on my blog, and Besen & Lisa have done just that. I’ve never met Garcia, and I am not defending him in any way, shape or form. Besen and Lisa are only discrediting themselves by trying to make a connection that isn’t there. It’s backfiring on them, because it shows how low they will go to cover up their corruption. I have children, and I wouldn’t even allow Wayne Besen near them, much less the convicted child molester that Besen is obsessed with.

And is the following excerpt from Lisa’s e mail an attempt to black mail me into backing off of Wayne Besen and TWO? You decide.

Lisa: “Here's what I found about you....I'm not judging I'm just saying it all lends to or takes away from your credibility...I will only post one- you know there is more.

http://m.gawker.com/5533901/second-gay-escort-claims-sexual-encounter-with-george-rekers “

Yeah Lisa, I know there’s more. I’m the one who put it out there. I gave Gawker a free interview the day I broke the story of my encounter with Rekers. If she had taken the time to review the hundreds of myspace blogs I’ve written, Lisa would know that I’ve been open and honest about the struggles I faced as a homeless gay youth. Where were Lisa and Wayne Besen when I needed a hand up and got nothing but a hand down my pants and a few lousy dollars to get by? Apparently, they were still thinking up ways to milk the gay community for money they don’t deserve. This is a far cry from the bullshit she wrote to me in the following quote:

Lisa: “Our focus is The Next Generation- Homeless Youth and HIV/AIDS- 40 percent of homeless Youth are GLBT many whom have been thrown out because they are gay.”

I was one of those people, and she’s trying to use the hell I went through against me. That makes her a hypocrite!

News Flash Lisa and Wayne, When you bash one homeless, gay youth who was forced into prostitution to survive, you’re bashing them all. You call this pride? I call it hypocrisy that goes against the grain of our movement entirely.

Lisa: “Carl- I have not slandered anyone. Frankly I am way too busy for this stuff. I reached out in what I thought would be a helpful way. OK I can admit when I made a mistake...writing to you was a mistake. Look these exchanges have been between us and no one else.”

Lisa never received any indication from me that her e mails were private. She contacted me, and I’m not giving her anonymity. Writing me was a mistake, because it’s exposed the truth of the matter. Lisa is Wayne Besen’s, very close, friend. Lisa is a producer of Out Music Awards. Wayne Besen is receiving an award. When you connect those dots, it’s clear that Lisa is just giving a friend more publicity and exposure than he really deserves.

Lisa on the price an artist pays to become a member of Out Music:

Lisa: “Its $100 per year and you get 2 free tickets to the OMAs and insurance and all sorts of perks. I don't get it. Its less than $10 per month and your bitching U HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME? NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING- YOU Get out there and do it- we can't do it for you and don't promise to we just give you a platform and an opportunity to be recognized as an OUT ARTIST. This is my first year Executive producing and if this the mentality of the artists. Thats sad and really concerns me. I'm busting my ass for these people why? So they can complain when they have done nothing to help?”

In this economy, the starving, gay artist needs every penny he can get. To shell out $100 to Out Music, and receive tickets that are only good if you can afford to get to the show, is a sick joke, not an opportunity. Out Music should recognize ALL openly gay artists, not just those who pay a fee to join. She finishes this last statement by saying the artists have done nothing to help. Without the artists, there would be no Out Music, it would just be Out!

Lisa: “I cannot even believe some of the things you just said and accused me of.. The gay Mafia. Really? Seriously? Come on Carl ...please wake up. What are you doing and WHY?”

I’ll tell you, and the whole world why Lisa. It’s because there is a gay mafia, and no member of it will admit to being a part of it, much like any other mafia. The proof is in the pudding.

1) Accepting money, in exchange for the possibility of airtime on a gay network.

2) Giving away achievement awards to friends who bash gays online, while so many other equality activists never receive an ounce of recognition.

3) Attempting to smear anyone who questions your motivation by insinuating that he supports child molesters, and digging up links that you think you can hold against him.

These are mafia tactics. The next thing you know Out Music will put a horse head on my pillow!

If this isn’t evidence of a gay mafia, I don’t know what is. These are some of the most influential people in the gay rights movement. And we wonder why it’s taking so long for us to achieve equality in this country! I’ll say it again, with friends like LOGO, Out Music, and Truth Wins out, the gay community needs no enemies!

Oh, and for those of you who never heard of Lisa Darden, here's an interesting fact:

Darden also worked for several years in the late 80’s and early 90’s with renowned Forensic Psychiatrist and author Dr. Martin Blinder as a personal assistant. Blinder became well known in the late 70’s for helping Dan White aquire a lighter sentence with the famed “Twinkie defense” after the murders of Gay rights advocate and first openly gay San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk and Mayor George Moscone.

Update: If you're considering writing to Wayne Besen of Truth Wins Out to tell him that his lack of professionalism and brand of gay on gay hate is intolerable, consider the following response he sent one of my facebook friends, who has forwarded his e mail response to me:

date Sun, Sep 19, 2010 at 1:28 AM

subject Re: TWO Contact Form

...

hide details Sep 19 (1 day ago)

So, let me get this straight.

You were sent by a degenerate 40-something, washed up porn extra circus act who fancies himself an indie rock spectacle named the Chazerbator, who is supporting a fake story peddled by a creep and admitted stalker, David Nahmod, with a gag order who made heavy breathing crank calls to an elderly actress, Grayson Hall. And, Nahmod and Chazerbator cavort online with a known, seemingly insane, pervert with an incoherent, rambling blog that no more than 3 people read. The credibility of this sick, twisted, motley batch of buffoons is overwhelming.

Essentially, sir, I'm proud to have such fools as detractors. It means that i am doing my job, battling nuts and extremists. I wear such criticism with a badge of honor.

Have a good weekend.

Gay Basher Wayne Besen, I am calling you out bitch!

2010-09-17T05:12:00.000-07:00

Wayne Besen, Founder of TWO

(Truth Wins Out)

Wayne Besen, I am calling you out! It’s time for you to grow some balls and address the allegations I’ve lodged against you in my recent blog “Gay on gay hate takes TWO (Truth Wins Out)”. Clearly, you’ve read it. Obviously, you cannot defend what you’ve done.

For my readers who haven’t yet read the blog, here’s a summary. TWO is a gay rights organization that claims to monitor right wing hate sites. However, the founder of TWO, Wayne Besen, was recently caught contributing to one of those hate sites by joining in on the bashing of a gay man. That’s right, a gay rights activist is bashing a gay man! It doesn’t get any more twisted than that. One of TWO’s contributors, offering a $30,000 grant to the bogus foundation is a Mr. Van Ameringen, who also, ironically, operates a non profit foundation for the mentally ill. I’ve forwarded my blog to Van Ameringen, with links to the some comments Besen made, in which he bashes the mentally ill as well. With friends like Besen, the LGBT community doesn’t need enemies!

Besen, a Jewish gay men, has stated that he doesn’t find anything racist or homophobic in the statement made by the right wing hate site about a fellow gay Jew named David. That statement was, “You’re an emasculated Jew bitch”. Wayne Besen commented, saying the statement was ok. If that's not a sign of a self loathing sucker, I don't k now what is!

If you donate money to LGBT organizations, I urge you not to drop a cent on this bogus operation called TWO. They’ve done nothing to further our equality, and are currently causing more harm than good. To make sure that every one of the tens of thousands of LGBT people I know are aware of this issue, I plan to produce a brand new Gay News video, complete with pics, vid clips and blog excerpts that will send Besen crawling behind a rock by the time all the truth comes out. Besen had his chance to address this, but he’s ignored me, and continued to contribute to the gay bashing website with his idiotic statements against a gay man. On the day of his big fundraiser, Sept 16, Besen was on this hate site bashing this gay guy. Let’s kick this bitch to the curb, and support those organizations that really do have our own best interest at heart. Self loathing gays like Besen should have no public voice, on our behalf. They bring shame to the very people they claim to represent.

Didn't read the blog with all the dirt on Besen yet? Click the following link to get the real truth about TWO.

Click here to read "Gay on gay hate takes TWO"

News Flash! Not all gays support same sex marriage... Why?

2010-09-16T07:28:00.000-07:00

When I first began publicly fighting for equality, I was shocked to find that some gays just don’t agree with same sex marriage. I realized that I had to convince my own kind of people that they deserve the same rights as everyone else. I can only think of a handful of excuses for why any LGBT person would oppose their own rights.

1) They are total sluts who never intend to get married, but rather, prefer to keep having anonymous sex, without making any commitments.

That’s fine, for you, if that’s what you want. However, you will always have the right to expose yourself to STD’s, the rest of us want to be exposed to equality. So get your slutty ass out to the polls, and speak up for us all. Even a slut deserves equal rights!

2) They’ve lived so long without rights, that they have allowed themselves to believe they are not worthy of equality.

This is probably the most common form of internal homophobia present in our community today. Any gay person who thinks it’s cool to oppose their own rights, is just fooling him or herself. If you think so little of yourself that you don’t want or deserve the same rights as heterosexuals, then turn in your gay card, and let the rest of us keep fighting, but do not tell me I don‘t deserve marriage equality just because you‘re stupid enough to think you don‘t!

3) The last segment of self hating gays who don’t believe in their own equality, typically tend to fall into some kind of cult like religious group that has brainwashed them. They fall for the false belief that Jesus didn’t approve of gays. If your church is telling you that gays are going to hell, you’re going to the wrong fucking church! Christianity defines you as a follower of Christ. Put aside all the words written by men who weren’t Christ for a second, and ask yourself what Jesus said about homosexuality. I’ll save you some time. Jesus never said a bad word about gays. Jesus never condemned us. Jesus never judged us. Christians did, and they were not only wrong, but not true Christians. If you think you’re going to hell, because you spend a few hours a week with intolerant hypocrites who claim to follow Christ, you’re a sucker, and no seriously intelligent gay person would even want to be with you.

I’ve been told that there were actually a self hating group of gays in CA who were fighting against their own rights to vote yes on prop 8. There’s no way around it. If you vote against the equality of your own people, you’re a Judas! Plain and simple! These backstabbing bitches need to be exposed to the LGBT community, and we need to put them in their place.

Oh, I can hear the excuses right now. “I voted for John McCain because I’m not a “one issue” voter” Really? Equality is one issue? From where I stand, equality is multiple, crucial, issues, rolled into one social quest. Equality means that we can’t get kicked out of the hospital when we’re visiting our partners. It means we can’t get fired from our job if the boss discovers we’re gay. It means we can serve our country, in the military, alongside fellow citizens with the common goal of protecting America. Equality means that if your partner gets charged with a crime, you won’t have to testify against him or her. Equality means that when my partner passes away, I receive the same financial benefits that any married couple does. Equality means that the gay child who gets bullied, has his problem addressed in the same manner a straight child should. Equality means that future generations of LGBT people will face less discrimination than we did, and will integrate themselves into society with less stress. Even if you don’t give a shit about your own rights, it is no excuse for robbing our gay youth of a better future than we’ve had.

We all need to be on the same page people. There is power in numbers, and it will take all of our voices to gain the equality we deserve. Maybe you don’t like the word marriage. I don’t like the words dog shit, but if it was a term that came with 1049 rights that have been denied me, all my life, then I’d support dog shit! Marriage is not a religious tradition. If it was, then atheists wouldn’t be getting married. Marriage doesn’t belong to Christians, it belongs to everyone of every religion and those with none. Marriage is not for the purpose of procreation. If it was, then my mother wouldn’t have married 3 times, and had no children with her last 2 husbands. Infertile couples aren’t being denied marriage on this basis, why should gays? And when it comes to tradition, well, I think the tradition of slavery demonstrates how tradition must change in order to achieve the goals of our constitution which declares us all equal.

“The majority of Americans don’t support same sex marriage.” If the majority jumps off a cliff…… This is the most lame excuse of all. Since when did the majority start making the rules for the minorities? If we agreed with the majority, historically, slavery would still exist, interracial couples would never have been allowed to marry, and Christianity (the false version) would dictate all of our laws. The most iconic people of our time, rose to fame on the premise that they didn’t follow the majority, blindly. Martin Luther King, and other civil rights activists who changed the world didn’t fall for any “go with the flow of the majority” mentality. We are not sheep. We cannot allow ourselves to all be herded into the wrong direction. We must take a stand against discrimination, even if it means standing up to the majority. If we don’t, we will never receive equality.

When I was 4 years old, my parents made me watch the entire, groundbreaking series, “Roots”. In the series, a slave named Kunta Kinte was captured and beaten relentlessly. His slave owner wanted to change his name, but Kunta refused to answer to anything but Kunta. “Name Kunta!” Kunta Kinte”! He would say, over and over again. He didn’t want to let go of his identity, just because a slave driver wanted him to. Any gay man or woman who doesn’t support equality for us all, would be like Kunta saying, “Oh fuck it! Just call me John!” Don’t be a pussy! Don’t give in and never give up!

Gay On Gay Hate Takes TWO (Truth Wins Out)

2010-09-13T07:55:00.000-07:00

Gay On Gay Hate Takes TWO

Since becoming a public figure in 2007, I’ve received hundreds of thousands of e mails from my fans. Most of them are kind letters of support for equality. Many of those letters have been from LGBT people who have a real problem, and have no where else to turn. Such was the case with a letter I received a few months ago from a man named David.

David wrote me to say that he had been in a relationship with another man who suffered from mental health issues. Having devoted himself to caring for his partner’s needs, David was shocked to discover that a “Christian” couple had been working behind his back to encourage his partner, in his weak mental state, to leave David and move in with them. Oh, and they wanted him to bring his disability check too! Had David and his partner been married, they would have been forced, by law, to resolve their differences, or get a divorce. David could have his partner admitted to a mental health facility to determine his state of mind, and receive counseling, possibly even couples counseling. Because they weren’t married, David lost his partner to a couple of right wing nuts. Plain and simple. David reached out for help.

David contacted TWO (Truth Wins Out) a prominent gay rights group, and requested legal advice. Initially, it seemed the organization was willing to help him, and advocate on his behalf. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line, there was a breakdown. TWO could not help David after all. They tried to tell him, but he found it hard to believe that he had no option at all. The more David persisted with TWO and pleaded for their help, the less interested they became in helping him at all. In fact, by the time David was writing his letter to me, TWO had already taken the time and energy to publicly bash David in a blog on their official website. They questioned his own mental health, and referred to him with very derogatory terms. That’s when I got involved.

Truth Wins Out’s motto is, “Fighting Right Wing Lies”. Slandering a gay man who comes to you for help is not accomplishing that goal at all. In fact, it’s completely counteractive, and makes us all look like back biting bitches. TWO does not represent the gay community, and here’s why. I contacted the writer of the afore mentioned TWO blog (Michael Airhart) to confront him about the slanderous statements he’d made against David. The blog writer agreed with my assertion that he had overstepped a boundary with his insults, and agreed to remove them from his blog. I left the situation alone. Anyone can make a mistake, and this blogger was clearly overly emotional when he verbally bashed a gay guy who came to him for help. Unfortunately, it didn’t end there.

This morning I received an e mail from David with some links to various statements made about him online, very recently. Wayne Besen, the founder of TWO has taken it upon himself to publicly attack David. If Wayne wants to verbally berate a fellow gay man, he should do it in private. TWO is a non profit organization that relies on donations to function. I believe it’s only fair that everyone who has ever donated a cent to their organization becomes aware of the waste of resources exhibited in this blog. TWO enjoys tax free status, as a non profit. My gay tax dollars shouldn’t be going to support any group that claims to support gays, and then spends time, energy and web space bashing one of our own.

Since when did Rush Limbaugh and the Tea Party homophobes stop mattering so much that leaders of “gay rights” organizations can turn their focus to eating our own movement from the inside out?

Below are a couple of excerpts from the TWO blog comments, which have angered me to the point of shining a spotlight on their hypocrisy. These statements were made by Wayne Besen, regarding David.

“In my view, you are insane”

“Yet, like a psychopath, you persist”

“Mr. Nahmod, please move on before you further embarrass yourself and damage your already diminished reputation. You are becoming a circus act and a laughingstock. No one takes you seriously.”

(You’re wrong Wayne Besen. I take David seriously, and you are a fucking sick joke on the gay community!)

“Obviously, you have access to the Internet, so please take some time to find a good team of well-trained doctors. Or, consider checking yourself into a secured, padded facility until you work things out.”

“In 20 years of activism, I have not met someone so fucked up as yourself. Not even in my travels in Religious Right circles while doing research have I encountered someone as crazy as you. Without apology, I can say that you are a bizarre, hate-filled individual who fixates on people with the goal of destroying them.”

You can view the entire posting at the following link:
http://www.truthwinsout.org/blog/2010/07/9508/

For any gay rights organization to make such strongly worded, cruel and unusual statements about a gay man, in public, is a shame to us all.

And Wayne Besen, I hope you’re reading this, because I have a message for you. Are you a mental health professional Mr. Besen? Because if you are, you should know that the definition of insanity is repeating the same action, over and over again, and expecting a different result. When you continue to publicly bash David, while expecting him not to defend himself, it demonstrates a questionable mental state on your part. I have dealt with loved ones who suffered from mental illness, Mr. Besen, and it’s no fucking joke! If, indeed, David is as mentally ill as you want your donors to believe he is, then why the hell are you worsening his state with this horrendous bullying? You are an organization. David is one man. If you can’t use your web tools to delete his comments, the maybe you shouldn’t be running a fucking website to begin with. Back the fuck off of my friend, or I will point out your hypocrisy and bring TWO down for once and for all. If you’re not with us, you’re against us, and so far, you’ve only demonstrated the latter, in this case. You will not receive a cent from any of my tens of thousands of gay fans after this. You fucked up!

To view a blog that is entirely dedicated to persecuting David Nahmod click the following link. Check out the comments and statements made by these right wing nuts about how they are conspiring with a gay rights group to mentally harm a gay man. These facts are undeniable.

http://protectfamilies.blogspot.com/2010/09/we-are-not-anti-semitic-and-strongly.html

I'm not dead. Lady GaGa isn't always right, and gays don't have to support illegal immigration!

2010-08-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

Dear friends, It’s been forever since I last blogged. I apologize for my long absence, and the sparse amount of time I intend to spend online in the future. My life isn’t changing. I am changing my life. My priorities are changing. I’ve been so busy fighting for equal rights in this country that I have not taken the time to really enjoy the wonderful rights that I do have, such as the freedom to pursue happiness with my family. For all the rights that bigoted, fake, Christians want to deny everyone like me and my family, there is one thing they cannot ever take away, and that is our happiness. I have so much love in my home. I am so blessed with a partner and two children who love me so much. I don’t need anything else, and I never did. That doesn’t mean that I will stop expecting people to treat me with the same respect I give them. Nobody steps on my toes without learning a lesson. That will never change.

The face of gay activism is changing, and it’s not as pretty as it should be, in my observation. Men who never put on a speck of make up are dressing up in drag as cartoon characters to protest prop 8. I understand that they want to be anonymous and there’s still a lot to fear, but it’s not a circus parade, it’s a civil rights protest. Save that shit for the pride parade, but don’t bring ridiculous, stereotypical shit to a marriage protest. It’s just plain stupid and does nothing for the cause of equality for anyone but freaks, which we are already viewed as by too many true freaks of society as it is. You want respect? Look respectable! It’s a good fucking place to start! You won’t see me showing up at a gay rights protest in full make up or a thong. There’s a time and a place for everything. The time and place for those things is after dark in a gay bar, or perhaps on your personal you tube page.

3 years ago Lady GaGa was nothing but a concept directed at the LGBT demographic which makes up a large portion of record sales. Now she’s the icon of the equality movement. I always applaud the efforts of any celeb who has the guts to come out of the closet. The problem is that the big celebs tend to be given a pedestal on which to speak on behalf of ALL LGBT people. What I’ve discovered is that it’s really not such a good thing. Not all gays agree with Lady GaGa. Many gays find her taste and her music to be overly sensationalized and too hypersexual for the teens who worship her, and the fans she calls “little monsters”. While I doubt that I will ever stop loving Lady GaGa or her music, I can’t say that I really like her form of activism, or the belittling way she refers to her fans. I am nobody’s “little” anything. I’m just a guy who likes her songs. Nothing less and certainly nothing more in her busy eyes. I’m a grown man and I don’t need society thinking that a pop icon with a hot ass is the speaking for me. I‘ve been speaking for myself since GaGa was a fetus. Her latest attempt to tie the LGBT equality movement with a pro illegal alien agenda is twisted.

Gays and illegal immigration:

Gays have the right to oppose illegal immigration, and the severe damage it causes society and our economy, without our most prominent speakers trying to make us all sound like we’re in the same boat with those who crossed our borders illegally. We’re not. Illegal aliens can always get married, as long as they’re straight, and there’s nothing wrong with that. ALL American citizens should be able to marry whoever they want, regardless of where they are from. What pisses me off is that gays and lesbians receive less rights that illegal aliens, under our constitution. That’s fucked up! Regardless of how you feel about illegal immigration, you can’t deny the fact that heterosexual illegal aliens have the right to marry, in any state, in the USA and gays and lesbians do not. That’s not a reason to hate illegal aliens. I would never suggest that anyone do that. However, we must not be blind to the fact that there are an estimated 12-20 million people in this country who are using the emergency room as a family doctor, raising medical and insurance costs for us all. They are receiving food stamps and medical cards that are being paid for with tax dollars of hard working US citizens. For every single illegal alien who is breaking the law to be here, there is a legal immigrant, at the back of the line, waiting for his application to be approved. Would you let someone cut in line in front of you? I sure as hell wouldn’t! Legal immigration benefits all Americans. Illegal immigration opens the door to identity theft, increased unemployment and overburdened local, state and Federal programs designed to help America’s poor, not every poor person who hates their own country so much they come here for a free handout. You don’t have to agree with me. You can call me a racist, but you’d be wrong. I haven’t mentioned race in this blog at all. Go back and read it again if you think I did.

The Facts:

Anyone who calls me a racist for my realistic view on illegal immigration is in denial of the facts. While it’s true that an estimated 75% of illegal immigrants cross the Mexican border, it is also a fact that not all of those illegals are Mexican. In fact, Mexico is just the corrupt gateway with coyotes and drug lords and human sex traffickers of choice because the border is so porous. That’s not the fault of illegal aliens. That blame lies squarely on our own government and to each and every citizen who has supported the slave trade on the border for decades. There are 300 Million people living in the USA. Our country was attacked, within our own borders on 9/11. We all have a responsibility to make our voices heard on border security. We cannot address it without addressing the hundreds of thousands of illegal aliens, who could be coming here to harm us, via our most lethal border. I’ve been speaking up, publicly for increased border security and enforcement of the Federal immigration laws that are already on the books since 2007. This issue is only going to get worse, so I strongly advise everyone to brace yourselves. Without a government that has the balls to enforce the laws we already have, there is little hope of a resolution anytime soon. Until then, racism will rear it’s ugly head, on both sides of the debate, while our border remains insecure and tax payers continue to fund the education, medical care, food stamps, and criminal legal fees for those who broke our law the moment they overstayed their visa or crossed the border without a legal right to do so.

I realize that not everybody agrees with me, and you have that right. However, to address it before it happens…. I am not a racist. I lived in South America. I speak fluent Spanish. I love my friends from all corners of the globe. At the same time, I am a patriot and I love the country that I was legally born into and call home. If you want to disconnect from me because we disagree on any issue, that is your prerogative. Just know that it takes a very weak person to pull the race card and dismiss me, based on my opinions. I never say anything because it’s popular. While it’s true that there is no shortage of fat, lazy Americans, I know, first hand that there is no lack of fat, lazy, illegal aliens out there who are milking the system and not putting anything into it. I can’t judge all people by the actions of a few, but that doesn’t stop those who oppose my views from doing so. To call me a lazy American, or a cracker or a honkey, is just plain ignorant, and I’ve got no time for that shit. Truth be told, I am half Native American, so all of you can just pack up and get the fuck off of my land!!!!! LOL Seriously though, you don’t see Native Americans trying to turn back time and reclaim the land that was conquered from them. My ancestors never enslaved anyone. Native Americans continue to struggle in their own battles for civil equality in the USA. Until we secure the freedoms of those who belong here, we shouldn’t be advocating for unearned rights of those who are stealing jobs, social services and educational opportunity from our own families. Don’t agree? Fine. Agree to disagree respectfully if you want any respect from me.

I am no longer a gay activist. I no longer make gay news videos. I am just a fellow American citizen with an axe to grind in the occasional blog. I have nothing to gain or lose by speaking my mind. What you see is what you get. Don’t like it? Don’t let the door hit on you the way out! Get it? Got it? Good!

As always, you can check out my official website at www.chazonator.com to learn more about gay rights, activism and how I evolved into who I am today.

George Reker's second rent boy! More than just another Z list celebrity.....

2010-05-15T12:37:00.000-07:00

Well, nobody ever accused me of being professional, but not credible? Let’s not go there! I welcome the opportunity to respond to any legitimate claim that I have ever told a lie about anything. Bring it on. If there is one thing I pride myself in, it is the honesty that I bring to my citizen journalism. I am a public figure, and I’ve often laughed about my own, self professed, Z list celebrity status. I know my place in the world. Here are some basic facts about me that you may find surprising.

1) I have only one conviction on my criminal record, and that is from 1986. I was sentenced to a year of supervision after I punched a guy in the face for calling me a bitch.

2) I do not profit from any of my online activities. The software and samples I use to create my songs, videos and graphics, exceed thousands of dollars, which I have paid, over the course of the last few years. Neither my CD sales, nor adsense revenue from my website or video hosting site have come close to covering the cost of the software used to create them. Therefore, I am not seeking any monetary profit from my online activism. What little revenue that is generated through my online media is currently used to cover the cost of domain registration and site hosting. If you think I am getting rich on my LGBT demographic, think again. My friends are not stupid. I do not beg for money. What I give them costs absolutely nothing for them to enjoy, and pays me nothing monetarily.

3) I am not a member of any LGBT organization. I am an independent artist. I choose to be independent, in order to be free of the corporate binds that tie up so many media outlets and control what we see and hear, in the news. This independence affords me, as an individual, all the freedom of the press, as well as the individual rights covered under the US constitution, regarding free speech and expression. I am not contracted with any commercial entity, nor do I wish to be. My goal is not to become a TV star. My goal is to have a lasting affect on the LGBT movement for equality, by providing uniquely informative and under reported news stories with my own, personal commentary. I’m the rogue, Internet version of Rachel Maddow, Keith Olberman,, and Lou Dobbs, rolled into one big mouthed, bisexual package. The difference is, there is no corporation cutting me a check, so you can be sure that I am telling you the truth, as I see it. I cannot be bought.

4) I didn’t just get over 44,000 myspace friends overnight. I’m not just a has been who never was. I have actively reached out to gays and lesbians on myspace since 2007, when I was the host of a local FM radio show, which I produced, entirely, called “Techno-Tronica Live”. Before I was asked to resign from my voluntary position as a show host at WRLR 98.3 LPFM Round Lake Heights, IL, I had built up quite a following on myspace. I began blogging about anything and everything, and reading blogs by friends. I began to understand the potential uses of social networking as a method of grass roots activism. I was asked to host a radio show for RGIN, (Radio Gay International Network). Click the following link to hear my pod cast: http://technotronica.podomatic.com/entry/2009-03-13T15_48_19-07_00

Techno Tronica Live March 13, 2009 (Live Your Life)

Naked Truth Gay News In Review

I began pod casting my show, which aired, live, with a webcam chat, twice a week, for months. I had a free Podomatic account that locked up because listeners had gone over the bandwidth included in the free package. I decided I needed to go bigger, if I was really going to reach everyone who wanted to hear what I had to say. After leaving RGIN, I started producing “Naked Truth Gay News In Review”, my online video series.

The concept of Naked Truth Gay News In Review….

The whole idea came to me one day when I was relaxing in my Jacuzzi. As I watched my friends list on myspace grow into the thousands, I wondered how I could keep all these people happy. What could I do, or say that would make every one of them feel like they are a part of my world? How could I capture and keep the attention of thousands of people, online, who never met me before? Then, it hit me, BAM! I could make a video series, right here at home, in which I tell them everything I would tell any friend over the phone. Most of my friends added me because I am so vocal about LGBT equality, so it only made sense to cover the gay news. But what kind of gay news, and how to cover it? I relied heavily on the blogosphere and 365gay.com for news stories that the mainstream media wasn’t covering, or just not covering enough of, or from the right angle. I gave each story my own, unique twist and shared my pithy opinions on each, sometimes not with much pleasure. My friends loved it so much that they started sharing my videos with their friends, who added me on myspace, and that’s how it all got to where it is today. The videos are amateur, I admit. I have an HD handi cam, but I actually prefer the raw look of a webcam. Someday, it will be retro, and maybe, when equality is shared by all, historians will look back and actually give citizen journalists like me a little credit for furthering our movement, and not backing down to political or corporate interests. Maybe…….

For now, let it not be ignored that the gay mafia has never taken me into the fold. I am not one of the voices that the select few, in charge of who gets airtime, want you to hear. I’m just not gay enough to appear on Ellen, or LOGO, and I’m no where near straight enough to show up on anything else. I guess the only good thing about being me is that I can get recognized by my LGBT family, almost anywhere, but yet I’m not typecast as anybody’s “it” boy. I am my own man, and it will always be that way. Regardless who likes it or not. That being said, I’ve heard a wild rumor that there are people who claim they never heard of me. Hmmm. Well, obviously, you don’t have any LGBT friends on myspace, cause last I checked almost every LGBT person on there has. Before last week, I had never heard the name George Rekers mentioned in any gay media, nor had I ever heard of an organization called Truth Wins Out. If you’ve read this far, well, you have heard of me. In fact, you’ve heard from the only authoritative source. I’ve got no agent, no record label, no desire for 15 minutes of fame as a gay whore, and certainly no interest in making any money on any cause I fight for. So there!

In my next episode of Naked Truth Gay News In Review, I will be investigating the Gay Mafia, in attempt to answer the following questions. Tell me what you think. Leave a comment below.

1) Is there a gay mafia?

2) What would be the purpose of a gay mafia?

3) Who’s running the gay mafia, and who sponsors them?

4) Is the gay mafia doing more harm than good, with regards to the LGBT movement for equality in the USA?

5) Are gay voices being silenced or censored by the gay mafia? If so, how? And why?

6) Does the gay mafia actually perpetuate gay on gay hate?

I’ll also be addressing the whole ex-gay movement, and including real video footage of a man who not only founded one of the most prominent ex gay foundations, he left it in 1979 to be with his gay lover, and still speaks out against the atrocities that continue to occur there. You won’t want to miss the next show, which I anticipate will be uploaded to chazonator.com on May 21st, to coincide with the launching of a Canadian web syndicate that will be adding my videos to their program line up. Some of you may remember some pod casts I did for indietalent.ca last year called “Naked Truth World News In Review”, in which I discussed world news stories and then ranted about them, in my usual way. The site is going global and expanding into television and radio, and they want to take my little gay news series with them. You will not notice any changes in my Gay News format, and there will be no censorship of my reports by anyone. No financial contracts have been signed, and I am under no obligation to perform to anybody’s expectations, other than my own. That’s the way I like it.

Here’s the last episode of the show:

The gay mafia strikes again, this time with deafening silence...

2010-05-12T11:15:00.000-07:00

A few blogs ago, I talked about the “Gay Mafia” and how they seem to shun me. This couldn’t be clearer than it is right now. When I came forward about the sexual encounter I had with George Rekers, the gay media ate it up and spread it like a barebacker with AIDS. Now, they are calling for a coalition of LGBT organizations to stand behind Rekers Rent Boy. Lucien, the escort pictured watching Rekers handle his own luggage, has gays lining up to offer him all the help he needs. I am so glad that he has people looking out for him. Personally, I have no need for any legal services, and Rekers can sue me and lose, all the way to town. What I want to know is this. Would it hurt any of these, so called, activists for equality, to e mail me and ask, “Chaz, how are you doing?” I guess my dick size and safe sex interests are good enough to turn Rekers on, but I’d have to get a time machine and go back to being a 20 year old twink if I really expect any LGBT organization to give a damn about my feelings or how I might be holding up.

Maybe it’s because I’m bi. The biggest secret in the LGBT community is that the BT are at the end of that acronym because they are truly not a part of the community, as a whole. Unless the majority want to fuck you, or view you as relationship material, they don’t do shit for you. I spent the greater part of my young, adult life getting sucked off for food because of fags like this who won’t give anyone a hand up unless they can get a hand down his pants. I am done with you fuckers! When my side of this story is finally proven, it will be a cold day in hell before I ever become a spokesperson for any agency that doesn’t give a shit about me today, and they can take that to the fucking bank and make a deposit today! I am filled with LGBT pride, but I have to say that the organizations that are supposed to assist us against discrimination, are only assisting themselves to the LOGO network and any TV appearance they can get to raise money. Money that is not being used properly, in my opinion. I used to donate to the ACLU, until the one time I needed advice and they turned me away. Now, I donate to nobody, period. I look at it this way. These assholes aren’t helping me finance the cost of raising my children, why the hell should I help them finance their worthless organization that will never bring anything better to our lives at all? We can donate thousands of dollars to these organizations, or we can give it directly to someone in need. I find the latter far more affective, and life changing.

Just who do these “equality” foundations really work for? Have you ever received any assistance from them for a false arrest by a cop who just wanted to harass a homo? Have you ever been offered the pro bono services of a civil rights lawyer after being fired from a job? Of course not. Unless your case makes big headlines or involves a potential damage settlement that is quite large, these fags don’t even wanna know you exist! That’s not equality. That’s opportunism. If this is the example that the gay mafia is setting for our community, then it’s no wonder there is so much inter-discrimination among us. If you’re not in the mainstream headlines, they’re not going to use you to advertise how much they care about “the average gay”. No ad revenue? No representation! Simple as that. Most “charities” are just money laundering facades.

The LGBT community is filled with fuck ups and double standards, just like every other community. Christians back bite, judge and hate on each other. Hispanics differentiate between high and low class by the shade of skin. Jews look down on anyone marrying, outside the religion, and so on. Gays are no different. Lesbians hate gay men. Gay men hate lesbians. Gays hate bisexuals, and gays, lesbians and bisexuals often refuse to get along with the transgendered among us. It is this divisiveness that has kept us all down for so long. When we finally get to a point, in which we all view each other as equal, we will be on a direct route to equality. Until then, we’re just a bunch of bitches, fighting each other, against our own common cause. Being bisexual does not mean I am confused. The confused person is the one who thinks that where I put my dick is any of his or her business. It no longer shocks me, how fast gay men jump to bash me for being bi, without a second thought of how much bashing they get for being gay. Look in the mirror before bashing anyone, and if you look closely enough, you will realize that nobody has the right to judge anyone who enjoys consenting sex with another adult. Sex workers are people too. It may not be your cup of tea, but it’s the oldest profession in history. I’ve never met a sexually active adult who hasn’t either paid for or exchanged sex for something of value to them. We are all whores, to some degree. The most common whore is the love whore. The love whore will do things they don’t want to do, in order to keep their love alive. They have sex with a headache, or let their partner choose a position they don’t prefer. What do they get in return for their sexual favors? They get relationship security. When I was a sex worker, I only wanted security. The security that comes from knowing you will survive another week, because you just managed to feed yourself. Unlike the love whore, I was always up front and honest about what I wanted and what I was willing to give. Most sex workers are very honest people. It’s society who wants to label them as scum. It’s like the gay marriage issue really. Somehow, some gays seem to think that where I put my penis has an affect on who they are and who they love and how they love them. Unless I’m sticking it in your husband, who I have sex with, and why, is nobody’s business.

Gays need to stop hating on Christians too. There are many gay Christians out there who want to continue their faith. It is not an oxymoron. You can be gay and Christian, and live a perfectly normal, happy life. There are enough fake Christians out there, discriminating like the devil. We don’t need non spiritual gays bashing as well. I am not a Christian, but I’ll be damned if I will sit back and let anyone bash someone who is. So leave people to believe whatever they choose, as long as it’s not hurting you. And if you are a Christian, don’t let these scandals get you down. If anything, it should only serve to remind you that God created us all, even the closet cased preachers who hate on us.

Oh, and one last thing. Dan Savage is a gay activist with a huge following. He is clumping Rekers into the same basket as Ted Haggard. For as famous as any, individual, gay activist may be, they do not represent us all. The fact is that Ted Haggard has become a strong advocate for equality and a friend to gays. It’s just cold hearted and unforgiving to keep twisting a knife in his back, after all these years. There comes a time when people who have made mistakes are done paying for them. It’s time for Savage and others like him to get over it. If these, most famous, activists among us, had been talking about the current enemies of the LGBT community, and putting faces like Rekers in the spotlight, I would have come forward long ago. The reason I do my gay news videos is because of this very fact. The gay mafia controls what you read on their corporate sites. They are partially to blame for our current lack of rights. If they would focus on those who are actively fighting our equality, rather than continuing to beat a dead horse, perhaps we can actually make a difference! Until then, they are just a bunch of corrupt squirrels trying to get a nut! I am filled with gay pride, but I am deeply ashamed of the Gay Mafia and the double standards by which they operate these organizations that actually keep us down, more than they lift us up.

I am the original Rekers Rent Boy!!!!

2010-05-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

Are you ready for a shocker? I’m not, but here goes. As many of my friend and fans know, I am a former porn star. What I haven’t discussed, at great lengths, is the occupation I used to feed myself in between video gigs. Yes, this is all in my past, but it continually pops up to haunt me, as life goes on. My most recent revelation involves a story that is becoming more prevalent, in the news. When I was young, and down and out, and in desperate need of income, I did some things that I’m not particularly proud of. I was a whore. I used gay magazine ads and a beeper to generate my clientele, which consisted, mainly, of married men. I had my specific limitations, and my rules were very strict. I never kissed, sucked dick, or got fucked. No matter how poor I was, I was not about to risk getting an STD that I couldn’t afford to get rid of. Here’s the shocker. One of my clients was none other than Professor George Rekers. I had no idea, until this story broke, that this man was the anti gay activist that he is. Now that I am aware of the damage he has caused the LGBT community, I realize that it is my responsibility to set the record straight. George Rekers is neither gay, nor straight. He is bisexual, like myself. Unfortunately, Rekers is also at odds with his faith, and therefore cannot come to terms with his sexuality, privately or publicly. You don’t have to take my word for it, and I openly admit that my word is all that I have. Before I describe my encounter with Rekers, in as much detail as possible, I want to make something very clear. I am not Mike Jones. I met Rekers one time only. I am not planning to write a book or do a one man show about my experience with him. I just want to clear the air and point out his hypocrisy, and that of those who are currently attempting to cover for him. Furthermore, Rekers is no Pastor Ted Haggard. Those who know me are aware that Ted Haggard has become a friend of mine. I believe Ted Haggard is a faithful husband to his wife. He is a dedicated Christian, and he is no enemy of gays. Ted Haggard has apologized, extensively, to the LGBT community for any intolerance of us that he caused before he was outted by prostitute Mike Jones. Yes, it’s a small world, friends, but not small enough to equate me to Mike Jones or Ted Haggard to George Rekers. With that in mind, here’s what happened.

In a city, in the USA, when I was in my 20’s, I committed the illegal act of prostitution with a man named George Rekers. To divulge more information regarding the time and place, at this time, would not benefit me, legally. I was sitting in my apartment, watching TV when my pager went off. It was a caller, responding to an ad I had placed in the escort/masseur section of a local gay magazine. The caller was George Rekers, and he told me his real name, a requirement I had for all of my clients who wanted “outcall” service, meaning that I would travel to their hotel for a “session”. If anything happened to me, the clients name and info would be sitting on my dresser for my roommate to find. Rekers was very specific about the kind of service he expected for the $150 he agreed to pay me. He insisted on only safe activity, and repeatedly asked me if I was “clean”, meaning disease free. I assured him that I was. Rekers wanted a full body massage, and he wanted light, sexual contact. He referred to himself as being “very vanilla”, which I later learned means, no oral or anal. As an escort, I remembered clients like this the most because they are easy money. I fulfilled his request, and by the time I was finished, there wasn’t a single part of his body that my hands had not touched. He wanted a light tickling of his skin, just barely touching his skin, as I glided my fingers up and down his spine, all the way into his crack. He shivered with pleasure with every stroke. I wasn’t in the habit of asking my clients any personal questions. I did, however, answer several questions George had for me. He was very curious to know more about my porno career, which, he had not previously been aware of. When I explained it to him, he seemed repulsed when I got into the details of the oral and anal sex scenes. I sensed that George was struggling with his sexuality, but I had no idea that he was a monster, until now.

I don’t care what the world says. They can call me a liar. They can call me a faggot. They can even call me a whore. What you can’t call me is a hypocrite. This is one situation in which I definitely take the side of the rent boy. This young man was just doing his job. He didn’t ask to get his picture taken or to be publicly outted. If you want to come after someone who knows that George Rekers is a closet case, bisexual man who hates himself and everyone else like him, then you can take my word for it. I’m not longer for rent, and I’m not a boy, but I’m no coward. George Rekers is the worst kind of coward, and I hope that others like me, who know this well, will come forward and share the truth about him.

Below is a photo of how I looked when I met George, next to Lucien, his latest Rent Boy

To learn more about who I am and what I stand for, go to http://www.chazonator.com/

E mail me, with serious inquiries only, at holymuthaofgod@sbcglobal.net

A gay man spends 3 nights with Ted Haggard, and what happened?

2010-04-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

Dear readers, I must admit that I when I went digging around in the Ted Haggard news story, I didn’t think that I would get so pulled into this ongoing saga. Mr. Haggard and his wife have actually become people who I consider to be my friends. They have been nothing short of gracious and kind and non judgmental of me, and I have returned that same respect. However, that being said, this letter is too juicy for me not to share with my friends and fans. I got this letter from a fan, and I struggled with whether or not to share it, publicly. It is dirty and nasty and sexy and all kinds of “broke back mountain” action is taking place, in the mind of the writer. It reveals a story that I don’t believe the mainstream media has even bothered to cover. While there have been those who have profited greatly from the fall of Ted Haggard, it should not go unnoticed that there was at least one gay man who had a big crush on Ted Haggard. This man spent the night with Haggard three times. Read what happened in his own words, which were submitted to me via my contact form at chazonator.com

Chaz, I saw your Gay News video about Ted Haggard and I wanted to give you my opinion. First off, let me congratulate you on getting to the truth in your coverage. I never believed that Mike Jones had a three year long affair with Pastor Ted. I live in California now but a few years ago I worked for New Life Church and I got to be a traveling companion to Pastor Ted on three different occasions. He was warm, friendly and respectful. He never did anything that would ever lead me to believe that he was interested in guys at all. I think I know why he has been so controversial.

I felt an attraction to Pastor Ted the first moment I laid eyes on him. I wanted him, and I couldn’t help myself. I knew he was married and I knew it was wrong, but I wanted this man and I was determined to get him. I thought of ways to let him know how I felt. I planned how I would test him and see if he wanted me to. I fantasized about having an affair with Pastor Ted Haggard. For as much as my hard cock wanted it my conscience wouldn’t allow me to make a move on him. I gave him every opportunity to make an advancement on me. I remember waking up and finding him reading the bible on his treo, which is an older kind of I-phone. He would pace back and forth, in his boxers, and pray. One morning, I woke up with wood, and I saw him pacing back and forth. He was wearing different underware this time. They were tight and white. I could see the full impression of his cock and I swear, I almost came on myself just looking at him. As he walked back and forth his huge cock moved with his left leg and his balls jiggled inside his package. I couldn’t stop starring at him, and when he almost caught me I pretended that I was praying too. I was praying. Praying he would fuck me!

I don’t agree with anybody who says that Ted Haggard had a three year affair with anybody. This is so not the person I met. I was shocked to hear that Pastor Ted had sex with Mike Jones. I wished it had been me instead. I would never have made up those stories about him for anything. I would have done anything he wanted me to do and loved it. It’s easy to see how Mike Jones could turn a one time massage that ended in masturbation into a three year affair with Pastor Ted. I’ve often fantasized about a broke back mountain moment with him myself. I never witnessed Pastor Ted acting unusual towards anybody during the whole time I worked with him. He was a perfect gentleman, which is why his wife has stayed with him. He is a dream man. He is gorgeous, he is hung like a horse, and just the thought of a one night stand is enough to make any man fantasize of an LTR with Pastor Ted.

Oh look, there's a homeles man showing his penis to kids on the corner. It's ok! He's a recording artist!

2010-04-07T07:53:00.001-07:00

You’re invited to my brand new, controversial, butt naked, video shoot. You see, my art isn’t strong enough to gain the attention that my cause requires, so I’m gonna get naked, get arrested, get some attention, and sell some records!!!! Yay!!!! The plan will go off without a hitch, and people will be talking about me for years to come, or until the next artist, one you’ve actually heard of before, does the same thing. I guess you can say that I was inspired by Madonna’s SEX book, back in the early 90’s. If it works for her, it’ll work for me, right? But the real question is, how does this work for you?

Ok, I’m just fucking with you. I have no intention of exposing my genitalia in public. I had you going, didn’t I? And while some of you might say, “Fuck yeah Chaz! Show me yer cock n balls dude!” Others would ask, “What kind of a parent exposes his naked body to children on the street?” I couldn’t blame either, or, for feeling the way they do, but I refuse to be bashed because of how I feel about this issue.

Yesterday, I posted a myspace status update condemning the decision by singer Erykah Badu to purposely get herself arrested for indecent exposure during her recent video shoot in Dallas TX. For the sake of “art” and “a cause”, Badu stripped off her clothing in public, in front of children. I’m not surprised that a lot of people are supporting her. When I was single and didn’t have two straight, teen sons with healthy sex drives and curiosity, I didn’t have a problem with public nudity either. What I didn’t expect was for one of my fans to call me a hypocrite. Yes, I use my sexuality in my art. No, I have never showed my dick or my asshole in any attempt to gain exposure for my music. That hasn’t stopped myspace from deleting my photos, and it didn’t stop you tube from deleting some of my videos, citing my sexy body as the reason. There is a definite double standard in the USA, in which it is more acceptable for a woman to get naked in public than it is for a man. Furthermore, being erotic and being naked are two separate things. The day I show my cock n balls online is the day that people can call me a hypocrite. Until then, they are just spewing crap out the side of their necks! Just because I am not ashamed of my body, it doesn’t give me a license to force the public to look at all of it. That’s not art. It’s indecent exposure, and there’s a reason it’s against the law. If Badu can get butt naked in public, then why don’t we just drop the law, and let everybody drop trow and get it the fuck over with? Perhaps it not okay for non celebs to get naked on the street, but you can imagine what it would be like if every celeb did so. There are a lot of celebs that nobody would want to listen to, if they couldn’t get the image of their naked bodies out of mind. Susan Boyle, naked? Oh hell no!!!!

When Madonna did her Sex book, she was childless. I doubt she could have even imagined that one day, she would have so many kids who would grow up and find her letting a dog lick her body online. God knows I wasn’t thinking of a parenting future when I was down on my luck, doing porno for a living in Hollywood, in my youth. The difference is, I did my videos on a closed set, and have never exposed them to any child. If someone really wants to see me naked, it’ll be a cold day in hell before they see it in a public video shoot.

In my song “Faggot” I wrote the lyric “There is nothing wrong with being naked. There is nothing wrong with showing the whole world your body.” and I still feel that way. Anyone in the world who doesn't want to see your body, should not be forced into doing so. But, personally, I do find something wrong with being naked in front of kids, on the street. I can picture the scenario in my mind of me, trying to explain to a 5 year old child, why there is a woman ripping her clothing off in front of him, in public. That’s not the kind of thing that most parents would want to have to explain to a pre schooler. Badu is the parent of multiple children. If I could ask her only one question today, it would be this.

“If you think it’s okay for you to strip naked in front of my kids, would it be alright if I stripped down in front of yours?” I already know the answer to the question, because I’ve already answered it on my end. Any artist can get naked, but it takes a person with an ounce of common sense to know when, where, and how to do it without looking like a desperate, fading has been, trying to revive a career that never got you on anybody’s A list.

I admit that I am not a fan of Badu. I don’t listen to anything she’s ever produced. She could be Beyonce or Brittney or GaGa, and I’d say the same thing about them, even though I’m a big fan. The difference is that Beyonce, Brittney and GaGa don’t need to show their tits for fame, they have talent that is recognized for it’s artistic substance. There is no trick you can pull to get talent. If it takes full, frontal, public nudity to get you famous, you ain’t an artist, you’re just another fucking stripper!

And so, I am not apologetic for my opinion on this, and I don’t expect anyone who doesn’t agree with me to be either. However, if anyone wants to call me a hypocrite for speaking up about this, they just don‘t know me. We can all agree to disagree without insulting each other, calling one another hypocrites, or blocking people who you agree with 99% of the time because you disagree with them once. The guy who called me a hypocrite is just an insecure asshole who doesn’t belong on my list to begin with. Anyone who is so sensitive that they would attack me for my opinion, needs to go hide in a corner with his fucking tail tucked between his legs. I am not going to change my mind because some asshole can’t agree to disagree.