cheapbohemian

Poetry Thursday: Jim Carroll

2012-02-23T08:37:00.008-05:00

Prologue

Starting with little in mind
the best you might do is begin it
over and over again. transforming

the real earth to a texture, and strength
beyond control. I am thinking of a wave.

We sit, huddled in winter coats, transfixed
to the logic of stars collapsing. The fresh
gravity pulling at stones we grip.

Locked tightly to the seams of night,
the moon rears like a fenced stallion,
and, its rage subdued, turns back.

Then the hour is loose as the music,
a vapor passing through. It defies
each change. As the wind outdistances
each word spoken, and replies with
a promise already broken.

--Jim Carroll

[sky at VCCA, 2/22/12]

Notice Anything Different?

2012-02-19T18:38:00.001-05:00

Nah, me neither.

That's good, though, really.

This week, I've got nothing to say about this debt, and I'm still saving it.

Poetry Thursday: Fathers and Other Strangers

2012-02-16T06:13:00.008-05:00

iconic dad and salesman, Willy Loman

I've been thinking a lot about fathers, breadwinners, and fathers as breadwinners, which is what stirred yesterday's reposted Valentine to my dad.

The theme has been coming up in my teaching, too, with Sherman Alexie's wrenching work "Father Coming Home" at the forefront.

And anytime I think of poetry about fathers--about the grind of earning and making a living for the family--I think of Robert Hayden's superb "Those Winter Sundays."

Today's Poetry Thursday is devoted to a poem I discovered tonight in a similar vein, "Hard Times," by Michael Ryan. Here's the part that got me, Ryan's description of the pigs-in-blankets cooked for a meal to celebrate a new job:

They’re doom and shame and dumb pig fate.

I tell my mom I think they’re great.

Oh God. I have been at that dinner table. Repeatedly.

Happy breadwinning, everyone. Tomorrow's Friday. Time to feed the pig.

[with thanks to the Poetry Foundation]

Local Heroes: Money and Love (CB Redux)

2012-02-14T07:14:00.005-05:00

This post originally ran in August 2010. It's a love letter to my dad, who passed away in 1997.

Happy Valentine's Day, all. May your love bring you riches.

Here's someone else for the panoply of towering intellectuals who knew the value of a buck. His name is J.J. Wormser.

He was a gifted electrical engineer and inventor whose employers read as a Who's Who of cutting edge technology companies: Bell Labs, Continental Electronics, Southwest Research Institute.

If the Internet existed and the electronics companies of the 50s and 60s had been as good at hyping themselves as the dot.coms are, he would have had a ribbon of Google hits as long as this.

As it was, he was just my dad. But, Google him: still pretty good for an old guy.

He was a work-for-hire guy in a pre-intrapreneur world, so all his patents belong to the big boys. Product of the G.I. Bill and youngest son of a ranching family, he was considered so dumb there was no money for college when it came time. With only a high school diploma and an incurable love of tinkering with radios (later TVs), he earned a place among the holy brethren of pre-digital geeks through sheer force of will.

He was also great with money. He did his own taxes year after year, keeping every receipt in shoe boxes that came down from the shelf of his closet ceremonially every January and were neatly filed in the attic on April 16. He and my mom (who had to put herself through college) put the three of us through college all the way because by God what happened to them would not happen to us.

He used to dream aloud on long car rides about crazy inventions for everyday problems, and how he'd make all of us rich. He painted oil landscapes in the garage, with only his mind for a view. He studied sculpture and drove a VW bug, sold his beloved motorboat when my mom finally made him, and loved to snap open his menu in restaurants and say to the whole assembled family, "Order whatever you want."

In the couple of years before he died in 1997, widowed and insomniac, he wrote us long emails about his will, his safety deposit box, and what he would do with the money if he won the lottery tomorrow. It was always about us.

But I digress.

In 1972, at age 50 he did something he'd never done: He left the Company. Lay-offs were afoot and he wanted to leave as his own man, get a better job, maybe even start his own company. The kids were sixteen, fifteen, and nine (me). Oh, and, yeah: there was a recession on its way.

So here was my dad's great new job: floor salesman at Levitz Furniture. My shy, wise-cracking, self-taught, Melville- and Conrad-reading father was set loose in a piranha tank filled with other desperate, underemployed, middle-aged men with kids to feed. He did it 6 and often 7 days a week every week for the 10 longest months of his life. He brought home a pittance and there was no menu-snapping.

Thing is, he showed up. Every day. And when he got a solid job offer, way below market, he jumped at it and got to be an engineer again for another decade and a half.

Showing up is what I am thinking about today. Where money and love (lack of one and consequences of the other) are concerned, the people who show up are the heroes.

Who is your hero?

[still is from Glengarry Glen Ross]

Shame Works Overtime

2012-02-12T11:13:00.000-05:00

It's still an excellent gig for shame at my house. This week's success owes a lot to my parking problems at the downtown location of my job, and the lack of dedicated parking for employees. Which reminds me of this.

Note that the money I put toward debt by matching what I paid for commercial parking one day($17) is way outstripped by the money I "earned" toward debt with two consecutive street parking tickets ($60).

What have we learned from this? That my form of repaying debt resembles the proverbial hole to China more than just a little bit. At least I'm getting somewhere. Mostly in the dark.

Strip-Down Saturday: Seeing

2012-02-11T09:01:00.001-05:00

I am afraid to see.

This happens now and again, and it started on Thursday. That night, I came home after a rough day, and my daughter said, "Just breathe, Mom. Do that thing you do. Just breathe and settle down and focus."

I stood in the kitchen with a beer in my hand and didn't dare.

"If I do that," I said, "It'll all be over."

Two days later, that's still how I feel. That terror is at the root of a lot of the problems I--you, we--have. The debt, for sure. The overwork. The disconnect I suffer with too many friends and close family.

If I actually look at everything I really should do, I will lose grip for a moment.

Where do we begin claiming a life, when mere seeing pains us?

I'm going to try by seeing just a very little bit. I'm going to try by making a list of what to do. When I reach the fourth item on the list, today--and only today--will be a success.

1. Make coffee
2. Write this post
3. See, as clearly as I can, all the things. List them. Claim them. But don't try to clean them.
4. Put them aside, and look for a long time at something beautiful.

(More coffee optional).

Poetry Thursday: Marge Piercy

2012-02-09T07:30:00.002-05:00

via Public Domain Images Online

I'll go with a fairly easy revelation from my morning, the poem featured on today's The Writer's Almanac, the radio program that basically gets me out of bed each day.

As I gain more readers, I have to revisit my "whole body" approach to Poetry Thursdays because I want to maintain fair use. That'll mean planning and gaining permissions from the amazing poets whom I read and think about.

Till then, I leave you with Piercy's final stanza, and urge you to visit this link to read the poem in its entirety:

Everything revealed is magical,
splendid in its ordinary shining.
The sun gives birth to rosebushes,
the myrtle, a snow shovel fallen,
overcome on the field of battle.

From "February Ground," by Marge Piercy.

[Image via a richly Cheap Bohemian, havealittletalk at Public Domain Images Online. This particular image from the NOAA Photo Library at the National Weather Service was taken by farmer Wilson Bentley in 1902, a hobbyist who photographed many snow crystals for public information. God bless the hobbyists].

Making with the Grocery Savings (CB Redux)

2012-02-07T00:06:00.000-05:00

via Modern Mechanix

Many times, fans contact me to ask, "Cheap Bohemian, what's your secret? How do you, an ordinary American on the short and dumpy side, manage to lop 30 percent off your grocery bills every week?"

No they don't. But if they did, here is what I would tell them.

Two words: Grocery delivery.

Five more: Peapod. Safeway. Netgrocer. Homeland. Schwan's. Who'd I leave out?

What? Don't those deliveries cost money? Don't you have to tip the driver? Isn't is a total violation of the Slow Food Ethic, and won't Cynthia Lane Schames come after us? Don't you go crazier online at the Internet grocery than a drag queen on Zappo's?

Yes, yes, it depends, and no.

In fact, grocery delivery is the reason I can aim myself at the sweet spot of $100 every week--the point at which the base delivery fee drops to $7.95, which can be further reduced by up to $3 depending on your payment method and choice of delivery time. I try only to shop the specials, and I plan ahead so I can stock up. I can research prices, locate coupons, and revise my order repeatedly right up until midnight the night before delivery. My delivery fee is usually only $5.95. I clip enough coupons to pay for the tip of about $5, and since I am saving between $30 and $40 each time now, I can still call the net gain pretty sweet.

I often use CouponMom to cross-reference the weekly specials in my neighborhood with the coupons in the paper that week. Their system is so straightforward, even I can use it. Peapod doubles the coupons under a dollar, so that's extra nice too.

Peapod is a better environmental choice for me and the customers it's serving, as a single truck will save perhaps a dozen trips in a day. I am less sure about Netgroceries and other delivery-by-mail outfits. One compromise might be to order dry goods through a net delivery service and buy fresh items locally.

Peapod often uses discount promotion to lure unsuspecting new customers into their web and reward stalwarts. Sort of like a cult. Since I am already a member, I cannot test-drive the first-time codes, so please email me if they do not work. You will likely be prompted to enter the email of the person who referred you. That's me: lisaschamess@gmail.com.

Refer-a-friend: You can save yourself and me $10 each when you use this link to start a Peapod account.

Other first-timer special: Since I like you, I'll tell you that you can actually get a full $15 off all by yourself by going directly to Peapod.com (is this like the Prisoner's Dilemma?).

The other sites I've gathered up contain information about areas they serve. I would not say I've provided an exhaustive list here, but I am happy to help you find out more.

Especially if I get a kickback.

[republished with new information on 7 February 2012]

Susan G. Komen Foundation: The Heathers of Women's Health Back Down

2012-02-06T02:54:00.008-05:00

Discount Gun Distributors of Seattle sure picked the wrong week to try to help the little ladies.

The email in my in-box last week was titled "Disappointing News from a Friend." Its tone was oddly familiar, not from politics or fundraising but from old memories.

Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards broke the news to her supporters this way:

"I wanted to share some extremely discouraging news from a partner and longtime ally for women's health. The Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation has announced that it will stop supporting lifesaving breast cancer screening for low-income and underserved women at Planned Parenthood health centers."

In other words, Nancy says we can't sit at the popular lunch table anymore.

Piggymojo, Flying Dog, and Wildeman FTW

2012-02-05T16:49:00.000-05:00

via piggymojo

Shame and banking have always gone together in my pocketbook.

So it shouldn't surprise any of you that this week, shame banking is again paying big dividends.

I've just transferred over my week's goal of $260 toward credit card debt, as part of my ongoing effort to combat The Big Drift.

Plus, I added $123 in repayment for some very nice and wholly unnecessary meals at the Parkway Deli in Silver Spring (where the matzoh balls will make you see your Maker), and Meridian Pint on 11th Street.

If you are planning to behave shamefully this week, I strongly suggest you go where they are serving the Flying Dog Wildeman.

Strip-Down Saturday (CB Redux)

2012-02-04T10:24:00.000-05:00

The Claw decides.

A version of this story first ran on July 24, 2010. The project of dumping 10 things at a time was invented by my sis-in-law. It morphed into the more general Strip-Down Saturday series. It also led to my contact with the lovely blog 365 Things (now a bit quiet) not to be confused the also-lovely 365 Less Things) Now it seems time to ante up again. I will put my list in the comments just as soon as I've had my coffee.

Hey! Cup of Coffee: You're the first to go!

Let me tell you a story. It will be long, solipsistic, and possibly dull. But it's mine, and tell it I must.

Here is the short version: I was married, made a mother, widowed. That brings us to the year 2000. I fell in love again, and we tried to make a new life out of stuff we had around the house.

Good times, bad times, a lot of yard sales, some remodeling, a dog, and then the moving van in 2008. Tears, a new vacuum cleaner, a ladder. So it goes.

Fast forward through the magic of the Internet and we are here in 2010. There's a cat, now, too. Fewer toys, more books. Fewer tears, more friends. And a new handvac in addition to the old vac.

Plus, six brooms. It's just hard for me to let go.

Whoa, hold onto your bowler hats, it's 2012 now! I can't begin to list the more stuff we have, but suffice to say it involves this man and two additional cats.

All these years--12 and counting--I have stayed in the same house and lived with mostly the same stuff. Sometimes more stuff, sometimes less, but always too much. My basement is a living corollary to the SSDD rule: different day, different shit, same problem.

That's stopping today. (Actually it stopped Thursday, but never mind. It was Rebecca's idea).

Every Saturday, rain or shine, Rebecca and/or I will list 10 things that are going to a better place. We'll tell you where's they're going if it's not straight to the trash, and maybe how we'll reclaim the space they leave behind.

There will even be pictures. Lucky you.

Sarah, if I'm not much mistaken, this is a very face-the-day-and-photograph-your-food kind of thing. Want to make a trio?

I challenge you to do the same. Write me a comment, send me a link to your blog, or email me with a pic or a story, and I'll post it here on Saturday.

Poetry Thursday: Margaret Atwood, "Marrying the Hangman"

2012-02-02T20:01:00.004-05:00

It's been a week of hangings in America. Gingrich still hanging around after Florida, the other candidates hanging blame and shame, but worst of all--most surprising, but why did we find it surprising?--the most squeaky-pink and prominent Big Girl in the Cancer Wars hanging women with no primary care out to dry because those women have a Planned Parenthood in their neighborhoods.

But enough about justice and injustice. Enough about arrogance and traps. We need a little poetry. We need an escape.

So, they say, did the woman who married the hangman:

Is Your Job Costing You Money?

2012-02-01T19:29:00.007-05:00

Photo by L. Schamess via RedKid

I had an epiphany the other day. It was small, so I took two:

1. Jobs cost money! (Told you it was small.)

2. The perfect "nut" I'd have to make to quit my job should be reduced by the money I'd save staying home.

Let's see...

Transportation: Gas, occasional Metro using my SmarTrip card, a portion of car upkeep, and parking costs ($12 to $18 a day in DC's commercial garages, not counting the parking tickets you get when you try to scam the Man)

Fashion: Clothing intended to create the false impression that I have grown up; drycleaning and alteration of same (I'm short; there are always alterations of same); decent shoes that look great and stand the test of being on my feet all day (I am a teacher; I am on my feet all day). I can also say that if I did not leave the house for work I would never, ever need to buy hose, but that's just me.
What else?

A Small Act

2012-01-30T19:44:00.006-05:00

Humphrey Oguda, 1967-2011

This is Humphrey.

It wasn't like him to be on this side of the camera, but his close friend Stuart, who was my partner from 2003 to 2008, is also a camera guy.

Stuart snapped this photo quick on the stoop of our house, just before he and Humphrey set forth on one of their UrbanEx journeys around DC.

The two met years before in Manhattan. Humphrey was a recent grad of Bowdoin College slinging music at Tower Records (remember those?). Stuart was a young lion on Wall Street. Their friendship spanned more than 10 years.

I only got to hang out with Humphrey a handful of times, but his was a great and radiant presence.

His death was brief and senseless: taken with a fever while visiting friends, he died of flu symptoms in the blink of a shutter, three days before his birthday last year.

Saving Money Without Saving Face

2012-01-29T16:48:00.005-05:00

Crying while saving.

Shame had a field day at my house this week.

I had a couple of windfalls early in the week, and I was feeling flush already by Monday.

So I guess I got carried away and started doing crazy things. Like eating lunch.

Strip Down Saturday: Composting Your Treif for Shekels

2012-01-28T10:30:00.002-05:00

Seriously. This was a life event for me. via my FB, via Liz Seymour.

As I get deeper into vermiculture, I discover that a lot of the "don'ts" for casual composters are in fact possible "do's" for those who really mind their piles.

And if there is nothing else you know about me yet, you know I am a cheap bohemian who minds her piles.

So in the interest of Strip Down Saturday, I hereby offer you one of the most remarkable Stumbles* of my still-young worm-herding career: You Can Compost a Bagel. And practically any other bread you like.

*(Actually, it was a Google, but who's counting?)

Free Friday: Freerice 2.0

2012-01-27T06:30:00.011-05:00

Better, faster, stronger: That's Freerice 2.0, the simple game that combines learning and giving with a social network and competitive tracking for added fun. I first wrote about Freerice in July 2010 during the earliest weeks of CheapBohemian. Little did I know that the site was only two months away from a major upgrade.

In the past two years since Freerice's relaunch, players helped donate about 23 billion grains of rice worldwide, or just over 7,000 pounds.

Freerice was the brainchild of inventor John Breen, who created it as a learning tool for his kids. When the site went public in October 2007, it gave away 830 grains of rice on its first day. Soon it gained in popularity--and notoriety because its simple premise seemed too good to be true. Eventually, Snopes itself had to lay the rumors to rest: Freerice really is perhaps the only free lunch around.

Now part of the UN World Food Programme, Freerice is always available to you with no strings attached. Advertising click-throughs pay for the site's success, so take note of the site's corporate supporters and feel free to click through.

You're in good company. As of January 3, Freerice registered its millionth user.

Poetry Thursday: E. Ethelbert Miller

2012-01-26T06:30:00.001-05:00

It's been my pleasure to meet and work with amazing people because I am a writer and teacher.

My students, for starters.

And among the grown-ups, one of the greatest is E. Ethelbert Miller, a gentle and intense force for poetry, education, and justice in Washington, D.C. and the nation.

This past week I found myself invited to Ethelbert's home, the purpose of which visit was to view The Big Heads, two fantastic charcoal portraits of Ethelbert made by artist Pete Petrine many years ago, and most recently displayed as part of a celebration of Ethelbert's career and life at Project 60 in 2010, sponsored by Gelman Library at The George Washington University.

Now the Big Heads are seeking a permanent home and, well, Ethelbert asked me if we could put our heads together about it. Can't say more at the moment.

So on a cool January evening, John and I took Miss Mo* to check out The Big Heads. Also present at this auspicious occasion was Rebbe, a gimlet-tempered Tuxedo cat who holds his own in any social setting, but excels on the front porch.

While Mona blithely wrote at the dining room table of the poet, we talked about a lot of stuff.

That's artist talk for "a lot of stuff."

Talking about a lot of stuff with Ethelbert Miller is about the best way to talk about stuff, hands down. And in honor of his great skills at stuff-about-talking, I here dedicate today's Poetry Thursday to one of his great and most compact poems, packed with good stuff, "What Does E Stand For?"

What Does E Stand For?

Everything

Each eye exists embracing exceptional emerald evenings

Evolution explains Eden's evil

Earth's ecology equates exploitation evaporation

Errors ending evergreen elms

Escort elephants eagles elks eastward

Enlightenment echoes Ezra Ezekiel

Enlist Esther Eugene Ethan Edward Ellington

Enough English explanation ecco

Exit eternity

Elucidate Ethelbert elucidate

E evokes every ecstatic emotion

From How We Sleep On the Nights We Don't Make Love by E. Ethelbert Miller, published by Curbstone Press. Copyright © 2004 by E. Ethelbert Miller. Reprinted by the Academy of American Poets by permission of Curbstone Press. Provided here in the spirit of fair use and creative common.s All rights reserved by the poet.

-------------------------------------------------------
*heretofore dubbed Lady Day by Ethelbert, for reasons unknown but greatly appreciated. She is spirited, beautiful, tells the unvarnished truth as she sees it, and even sings beautifully; but I don't think she otherwise compares closely to the only other Lady Day I know. From now on, here on CB and in conversations with Ethelbert, Lady Day she shall be.

Moneyhack Magic: Trick of the Wrist (CB Redux)

2012-01-24T12:54:00.003-05:00

A version of this post originally appeared on July 20, 2010.

As I start the blog up again after the 6-month hiatus John and I are calling The Summer of Love, I thought I would re-share some of my favorite moneyhacks. Starting with the Snowflake Principle, which in turn gave birth to my own term for my personal debt because of its shifting--and shifty--nature: The Big Drift.

Ipso facto. Ecco homo: CreditRatus Reparo!

****************
Baby, it's hot outside.

Let's think about snow.

Magical, silent snow. Snow that falls, moment after moment, hour after hour, day after day, flake by flake, transforming the workaday world into a paradise.

Getting out of debt is just like that.

No, really!

As the writer of this now-quiet blog here knows, snowflakes can cover up a world of financial hurt over time. The principle takes its name from an approach to curbing debt called the debt snowball strategy, attributed toDave Ramsey, the Internet's coolest bald money guru.

The snowball strategy--which for reasons of delicacy should never be called snowballing (and no, I'm not linking it--look it up yourself)--has so many followers that there are now strenuous debates and varying approaches to its application. All of which interests me about this much.

I like the little things in life. And--coincidence?--little perfectly describes what I can save. Every day. Until it might be a lot. Here's what "I've Paid for this Twice Already" has to say about the snowflake:

"I ... try to collect up little bits of money wherever I can and I apply those as well to my top priority debt as immediately as possible."

Because I already have so little, I can only save what I would have spent anyway. So I am looking hard at every daily decision I make. Yesterday I sent piggymojo two texts: $16 saved on groceries, $2 on parking. (I'm about to get really insane and calculate how much gasoline my common rounds represent, and claim the credit when walking.)

Last night, I sent $18 directly to debt payment. Didn't wait for my turn or pass Go.

If you already bank on line, the magic is pretty sweet. A couple clicks and you're done. If not, I won't press you. I know you have compelling reasons not to bank on the Internet, just as there are compelling reasons to keep it all under a mattress (preferably your own).

If you are a proud Luddite, you will still need to set up a trustworthy system that permits you to set aside small bits of money daily that you can't touch easily thereafter. Short of writing yourself a daily check, handing it over to Big Baby (or your spouse, whoever is creepier) and depositing the lot each Friday, I'm out of ideas.

Really, you say? So soon?

Nah.

The Girl Effect

2012-01-22T16:53:00.002-05:00

Graphic via The Girl Effect

Today is Blogging for Choice Day. I proudly add my cheap-ass mezzo soprano to the chorus of voices that support this 39-year-old legacy for women's--and men's, boys', and girls'--lives.

Being pro-choice does not mean being pro-abortion. I am not "pro-abortion," in the sense of believing that it is the best or only solution for any woman who does not want a pregnancy.

Being pro-choice is a way of viewing the world as a place where women are not penalized for their biology, and where girls are taught that choices--all choices--are theirs to make.

I am pro-choice because pro-choice policies do far more to prevent unwanted pregnancies than the so-called pro-life movement, as far as I can see.

I am pro-choice because I am the daughter of a mother who protected my choices, and I am the mother of a daughter whose choices I want to protect.

I am blogging about choice today because the economics of choice are a life-or-death matter.

If you wish to join me in protecting choice in America, please see ChoiceUSA, an organization dedicated to empowering the next generation of choice leaders in this country.

My own focus today is a bit wider. I am in charge of my family's finances, able to work two jobs and support a mountain of debt, and also able to invest in the future, in part because I have had access to a full education, safe and accessible contraception, and health care that brought me to this moment. Many girls and women worldwide do not have these choices. To know more about how we can enable girls' and women's choices over the bodies and their futures, I highly recommend The Girl Effect's web site.

If you would like to act today to increase the economic choices of girls and women worldwide, visit Kiva, a non-profit microloan organization that helps people realize their dreams with microloans that you or I can make quite easily -- just $25 to start (thank you, Paulette Roberts).

If you are a blogger, consider joining the conversation via BlogForChoice.com

Loans, Damned Loans, and Statistics

2012-01-22T15:32:00.002-05:00

click the pic for lurid details. It's all good this week.

Last week I started blogging again about the debt pay-off project I've often called The Big Drift. My first try at this was pretty satisfying, if you like Pyrrhic victory as much as I do.

I called the first campaign against debt Europe on $35 a Day, and set a goal of $12,775 to pay down credit cards or save by July 2011. After extending the deadline by five months, I still only came to within two-thirds of my goal. But I did gather courage for another try.

My new goal is $26,000 within the next two years. Not a penny of that represents actual savings--yet. That is still just the figure I would need to pay off the amount of consumer debt I have on four credit cards. The good news is that all but about $2,000 of that debt is on zero-interest balance transfers at the moment. The bad news is, those transfers do expire. The first one expires in July, the next in August, and the next in October.

So my challenge is to live on a largely cash basis while paying down those bad debts plus the so-called "good" debt of my home mortgage and student loans. (Read here for a subversive and eye-opening take on the common wisdom of "good" versus "bad" debt from the husband-and-wife blogging team Broke Professionals).

Last year, I made a few ground rules:

1. Even though the biggest priority was paying down debt, I wanted to develop the savings habit too. Although the conventional wisdom is to pay the debt off first, I did squirrel away some untouchable savings at a net loss, just so I could get the hang of it.
2. Charitable gifts and gifts to friends counted toward my goal, because I didn't want to become a penny-pinching Citibank-subsidiary-owned whore with nothing but my own interests at heart. If I wanted a war chest, I'd run for office.
3. It'd have to be some fun for a distractible magpie like me to stick with it, so I used Piggymojo's game-like app, along with some of my own little pet hacks like 24-hour and 7-day money fasts, the Free Weekend, or Match-Your-Shame Magic to get there.

This year, I've tightened up a bit:
1. No more petty saving until the debt is gone. I say "petty" to mean passbook savings, as opposed to college and retirement savings, which have never been counted toward my goal anyway.
2. Charitable gifts still give me credit, but gifts to friends won't this year. I still love my friends and family, of course, and I look forward to showing them love in creative ways that don't break the piggy bank.

Waiting on the Student Loan

2012-01-21T17:01:00.003-05:00

The incomparable Sophia Loren waits for her loan officer to show some love.
(Still from Marriage Italian Style, 1964)

You know how break-ups always start.

The complacent stretches of same-old, same-old. Each of you doing what you are supposed to do. They send you a statement every month. You pay online. Ho-hum.

Then the long silences, and the drifting apart. Oh, you still get statements from them, and they get their monthly pay-off from you. But you're not communicating anymore, you know?

Then one of you says to the other, "Hey, remember how excited you used to be to get my loan payments? How about you lower my interest rate by 0.25%, for old time's sake?"

And then they say, "Nah. Put up or shut up."

That's it, then. My current consolidated student loan company doesn't understand me anymore. We've been in a monogamous monotony for six years, during which time I have whittled down my principal by a tidy sum. And in all that time, I have never missed a single payment.

There was that one time I underpaid by accident, in November of 2005 when I'd only been at it for three months and didn't have the hang of things. I swear to Sophia I was loyal ever after.

So when I found out this week that I might qualify for lower interest rates after 36 months of consecutive on-time payments, I was all over that like a chic catsuit.

I wrote them a letter, excitedly asking them to reconnect, to take a closer look at me and show me love.

There followed the kind of stiff, polite exchange that can only mean the end of things. Seems the mistake I made in November 2005 disqualified me forever from a program I hadn't even known existed. The consecutive payments had to be the first 36.

That's it then. I did what any red-blooded, underemployed MFA would do: I stepped out on my loan shark.

(That's Carly Simon in a fitted shark suit, for those of you playing at home. And here is a guy I don't know in a pumpkinhead).

And now...well...it didn't take me long to find someone else. They are really special. In fact, they are the Special Direct Consolidation Loan, announced by President Obama last fall. Thing is, I cannot call them. The government will contact eligible debt-holders between January and June 2012. They have made it clear this is not a Sadie Hawkins affair.

So here I sit, waiting by the phone. If they do call me or you, here is what to expect:

Special Direct Consolidation Loans are not the same as traditional consolidation loans that borrowers can apply for today.
Only certain borrowers will be eligible for Special Direct Consolidation Loans.
Eligible borrowers will be contacted by one of four federal loan servicers starting in January 2012.
Given the number of eligible borrowers, these contacts will occur over several weeks.
The servicers that will contact eligible borrowers are FedLoan Servicing (PHEAA), Great Lakes Educational Loan Services, Inc., Nelnet, and Sallie Mae.
The servicers will provide eligible borrowers with application instructions.
After receiving application instructions from a servicer, eligible borrowers will apply through a new and different online process.
Borrowers who may be eligible must not apply through the traditional Direct Consolidation Loan Web site (http://loanconsolidation.ed.gov).

What loans must a borrower have to be eligible for a Special Direct Consolidation Loan?

At least one ED-held Direct Loan or ED-held FFEL loan and one commercially-held FFEL loan.
What loans are eligible for Special Direct Consolidation?
Only commercially-held FFEL loans (subsidized, unsubsidized, PLUS, and consolidation).
Commercially-held FFEL loans must be in grace, repayment, deferment, or forbearance.
Commercially-held FFEL loans can be defaulted loans that have been rehabilitated.
Commercially-held FFEL loans cannot be in default or subject to a bankruptcy proceeding.

What will a borrower gain by obtaining a Special Direct Consolidation Loan?

One servicer and one payment, as opposed to one or more servicers with multiple bills and varying repayment requirements.
For commercially-held FFEL loans that will be consolidated, a 0.25 percent reduction from each loan's existing interest rate at the time of consolidation, plus the opportunity to receive an additional 0.25 percent interest rate reduction if automatic debit is chosen for repayment.
For commercially-held FFEL loans with a variable interest rate at the time of consolidation, the conversion to a fixed interest rate at the lower percentage that will not change over time.
No loss to previous time in repayment; it will count towards the repayment term for the new loan.
No loss to previous Income-Based Repayment (IBR) payments; they will count towards the required repayment time for cancellation if the borrower remains in IBR.
The commercially-held FFEL loans that will be consolidated will be eligible for discharge under the Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program.

[source: "Information for Financial Aid Professionals," IFAP, Student Aid on the Web].

Again, the Feds are not accepting any calls or making it easy to find out more at the moment. For starters, I can't even figure out whether I am already ineligible for this new program because I am already in a direct consolidation loan.

But if I get a phone call, you'll be among the first to know.

Yes, It's The Real Deal

2012-01-20T16:31:00.002-05:00

A handful of friends got an email from me today recommending Lending Club, and a couple were immediately alarmed.

Seriously, it really is from me. That is how I actually punctuate things and spell the word Nucular.

No worries: the only "hacks" in that email message were the friendly kind, intended to help people save money.

There's no special catch to Lending Club. It is not a ponzi scheme (did I spell that right?) or a pyramid. It really is very much like a credit union. But there was also no way to send the recommendation out with a virtual fingerprint to prove it was mine. This blog post is the best I can do. Below is the text of the message, which within five minutes got two alarmed responses from friends:

THE FINE PRINT: While it is true that I myself will not send you any further invitations, The Lending Club might. So to opt out of future invitations click on the link at the bottom of the email I sent you today at about 3:00 p.m. EST.

TEXT FOLLOWS....

I am sending this email to a few friends who sometimes follow my blog at Cheap Bohemian or with whom I have spoken regarding good consumer "money hacks."

As we speak, I am preparing to send the final pay-off on a loan I took out about two years ago to consolidate my credit card debt.

There's no magic here, but I had a very good experience, and I can recommend this company to you.

Lending Club is literally that--a club of individuals like us who have invested small amounts of their money to make microloans to others.

I borrowed $6,000 at 6.76% in September 2010. I have made payments of $185 per month, plus one large lump sum last year to pay off about half up front, and the final payoff in the next few days.

All told, I will have borrowed the money at an effective interest rate of about 5% simple. Even if I had just paid the loan on its 36-month schedule, I would have saved quite a bit on consumer debt fees.

If you already have access to a 0% transfer on a credit card and can pay off in time, that is still the best way to go. But if you have a medium-sized amount that you know will drag on and on for some months, or if you currently have no access to a balance transfer, the Lending Club might be a good choice for you.

You can use Lending Club for anything: a special purchase, a dream project, a business start-up, you name it. It's very fast, and very direct. Going through the loan process took about 3 days for me, and it was really interesting to watch small investors "buy" pieces of the loan.

The communication has been seamless, the transactions have felt efficient and safe, and the company is solvent and here to stay.

Think of it as sort of like a cyber-credit union. Or, let's say, George Bailey via Google.

You can also become an investor on Lending Club, something I hope to try next, perhaps in 2013.

Full disclosure: if you try Lending Club, and you mention a referral from me, I do benefit monetarily. I won't lie: that is one reason I am sending you this email. As with CredoMobile, Peapod, and other companies, LC gives loyal customers money for referrals ($100 per referral, in this case). I am sending this only to close friends and associates, however; you know me as someone who does not normally spam her friends with come-ons and gimmes. This will be the only time I send out this recommendation, and I am happy to talk more with you about it, and candidly, if you are interested.

The text below is the "given" text from Lending Club itself:

Lending Club is a great alternative to banks and credit cards. They have low fixed rates on loans up to $35,000. The application only takes a few minutes and is completely confidential, secure and online.

[link removed from blog post because I think each individual got their own ~lws]

Lending Club respects the privacy of its members. Your personal information, whether you borrow or not and how much you borrow will always be kept totally confidential from other members -- including me.

Notes offered by prospectus filed with the SEC.
==========================================
THE FINE PRINT: While it is true that I myself will not send you any further invitations, I am pretty sure that The Lending Club might. So to opt out of future invitations click on this link, or paste it into your web browser: HERE IS WHERE THE HTTP BLAH BLAH BLAH FOR OPTING OUT GOES IN YOUR EMAIL. CLICKY-CLICK IF YOU DON'T WANT LC TO CONTACT YOU AGAIN.

2012-01-15T23:46:00.000-05:00

Oh, it is on. It is so on again.

Some of you have followed my progress through the wholly empowering process* of shedding debt** since 2010. That is when I started this blog, on the eve of a big three-week trip to Europe that was the biggest single expenditure on pleasure I had made since I went to see Joe Jackson in 1985.

*I am still in debt.

**but my interest rates are lower.

In July 2010, I made a pledge not only to make back every penny I spent on the trip, but about $4,000 more so we could do it again.

I gave myself a year to save a little over $12,000. I defined saving rather broadly for the exercise, including any action to pay down debt, stash money in savings, or (just to keep my soul from shriveling) charitable giving of any kind.

It was a Pyrrhic experience, but I did okay. I extended the deadline to December 2011 and saved back what I spent, but no cushion. In short, I did not reach my goal.

The biggest profit I made during these past two years was not in the bottom line--yet--but in the way that I reconceived my approach to money.

I became braver and more clearer-sighted. Even without a lot of money, I started looking at what I have through the lens of a venturer, in the best sense of the word. I learned how to coupon obsessively enough to save 30% on my grocery bills. I took out a consumer-to-consumer loan at about 8% through Lending Club at a time when I was maxed out on my cards, then I used the loan to pay off a credit card so I could switch my 13% car loan to a 0% balance transfer (riskiest move I have made). I added a 13th mortgage payment by increasing my monthly payment by 1/12, even as I questioned the heretofore mother's-milk wisdom of buying your own home.

Plus I had a blast along the way.

Although I have lowered my overall debt by about 3 percent, an insidious truth lies behind the modest decline: My home and student loans are down, but my credit card debt is actually up by about $4,000 since August 2010.

So much for the bad news. The good news is that the overwhelming majority of credit card debt I now carry is on zero-interest cards, and represents old debt I am steadily paying down. After about 18 months of accelerated saving and paying, I have managed to pedal fast and stay in essentially the same place. Given the dispiriting shake-up of personal finances in our nation during the same time, the fact that I am blessed with a job (two, in fact), a secure home, and some savings is a daily blessing I do not take for granted.

As to the persistent debt, am I discouraged? Nope. At the turn of the year I set myself a new goal: $26,000 paid down or saved by the end of 2013. It still means I am trying to save about $1,000 a month, which is frankly just this side of ridiculous.

That's the side I like.

The Muck at the Bottom of the Brainpan

2012-01-02T12:41:00.000-05:00

"...for a while i couldn't remember my birthday."

That's my first sentence on 750 Words, a site John Walter turned me onto last year (three weeks ago) and that I haven't had the nuts to really write at until today.

750 words is just that: a place online to write 750 words a day, every day, if you can. Or not. It's private, it's appealing, and it's kind of inexplicable. I mean, if you have a paper notebook, plus a blog, plus book and essay ideas waiting, plus an addiction to Facebook, plus patient friends and family who'd only too willingly have a conversation with you if such a thing were done anymore, why 750 words?

I don't know. But I'd like to find out.

I wrote about 1,500 words today, all told. Most of it is shit, but some is good shit. Some is even relevant to our little blog's mission.

Like this:

"a new friend quoted Burroughs on his Facebook wall: "[money] eats quality and shits out quantity." i misread it as "Monday eats quality..." and i loved it. i love it still, my eyeslip. it's true. all of the above. i am an all-of-the-above chooser when possible. today, by the way, is monday."

As I wrote that, the shyest of our three cats rolled a ball around in the patch of sun in the entryway of the home I have lived in since 1998. This house has seen a birth, a death, a proto-marriage, a kitchen renovation, a dog-adoption, a sort of divorce, a cat acquisition (Phase 1), a floor reclamation, a trip to Europe (launching pad and homebase), a friendship heading to its true North (underway), a lot of furniture rearrangement, and another cat acqusition (Phases 2 and 3). This weekend alone the house witnessed the birthday of a 13-year-old, a new year, and a living room reorganization that has literally changed our days.

"i was thinking this morning, [my house] is unbelievably beautiful.... i was, anyway, following the six steps you can find here, sitting on my loveseat, in a patch of light .... impatient to find out how to unbind the twist of work versus work -- my own work versus the work of the world, let's call it qwork versus work....the central twist is that twist of remaining creative as the work crashes back through the underbrush, hunting ineptly for stuff to feed the money machine."

I went on like this for a while. And then:

"i want more quality and less quantity. in fact i have them. i remember now how i looked out the newly cleaned and not-quite-clean glass double panes of the windows i only just paid off last year sometime, and i thought, 'my house is unbearably beautiful. after all this time, after all this trying, the cleanliness of its spaces (most) and the beauty and usability of those spaces, and the people and animals inhabiting those spaces, and the ideas of them....This is all I want.' "

And then a miracle occurred in my thinking. I decided to capitalize properly.

no not really.

But what I did do--what i want to do--is to do different things and do the same things differently.

I looked out those windows and thought, I Will Do It. I Will Not Go Back to Work.

Then I came to my senses and the figure $12,000 floated up from the muck in the bottom of the brain pan. The number itself didn't matter so much. It's just the figure I set to save down this year, $12K less in debt by the end of 2012. But it's only a number. It's fungible, and will not really go down. I discovered that last year when I racked up $7K toward April 2010's $12K goal before calling it quits and starting fresh last night:

IN FACT, it would take $26,000 to clear my consumer debt alone. Even then, I would not be out from under the house and student loans, to say nothing of debts to come.

That's right. Let's look at it. We don't look away. We don't parse it into home value or net worth or gross assets of any of that shit the financial industry offers up for analyzing and capitalizing and estimating our worth. I know I am lucky--I am damn lucky--but I am also grossly in debt and I spend too much to be able to make choices freely. So I can talk about good debt and bad debt all I want. I can shift debt around--and lucky I can, too--and I can talk about investment and value. I can talk about the beautiful home I love (that isn't paid for yet because it operated like an ATM for me all through the last broke decade) and the beautiful MFA from 2005 (also not paid for) that permits me the beautiful job of teaching people. And above all, we can speak--and rightly--of the beautiful ones sleeping upstairs and the beautiful lives we have and the ways to make them more beautiful. In many ways, I am the richest woman in town.

What it boils down to is time. I will never have the money to buy the time I want.

Not only, like, time in a day. no. not only extra time or quality time. there are words for time, too, but the time i seek is wordless time, open time, eternal time, qwork time, timeless time, naptime, dreamtime. the time of the wave, of alpha and omega

time is essential.

time is it.

yesterday, by the way, i slipped on a step in the back of my house--dead leaves, the wet of a New Year Day rain. I caught myself, banged my leg pretty good--a surprisingly small bruise centered in a giant goose-egg of swollen flesh. I sat down hard on the wet concrete step and repeated simple words again and again, thinking of my little family warm inside and unaware: thank you god thank you god thank you god that could have been worse could have been worse could have been worse thank you thank you thank you.

as it happens, I was turning worms in the garden when this occurred. no joke. how much more subtext can come right to the top?

oh, and the thing i want to make today? a pretty start for Av Schwartz's libretto.

that is all for today: the muck in the brainpan, the worms at the surface.