Chesed Shel Emes

Blog has moved

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 16:34:00 +0000

Hi all,
New posts will be on our new website, www.hebrewfreeburial.org.

I posted a new entry today entitled, We Need to Talk. You can read it here - https://www.hebrewfreeburial.org/we-need-to-talk/

New HFBA Videos

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 13:02:00 +0000

We're proud to announce the debut of two new HFBA videos.
Hope you enjoy. Please feel free to leave us comments.

Talleisim Needed

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 15:35:00 +0000

Dear Friends,
Due to the increase in people the Hebrew Free Burial Association has been called upon to bury this year, we currently have a shortage of Talleisim on hand. Sadly, our numbers are up over last year's, and last year was our busiest year in the past 10 years.

If your synagogue has any Talleisim that are not being used and could be spared to help HFBA perform our important work, please send them to:

Mount Richmond Cemetery
420 Clarke Avenue
Staten Island, NY 10306

Please include a note with your name and address so we can properly acknowledge the donation.

Thank you for your continued support.

Don't Cremate

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 13:39:00 +0000

A recent article on msnbc.com asked the question, "Did Winehouse's funeral violate Jewish law?" The answer sadly is that since Amy Winehouse was cremated, that was a violation of Jewish law and tradition. Our bodies were born into this earth whole, and when we pass, they are to be returned to the earth whole as well.

What can we do to prevent more cremations from occurring? The most important thing is to let our wishes be known, preferably in a legal document, that when we pass away, we want to be buried and not cremated. Then, we need to discuss our choice with others, and let them know that we hold burial to be sacred. Engage friends who may not know that cremation is against Jewish law. Tell your children that cremation is wrong.

There is much work to be done on this front, but it is important to take sad stories in the news, and use them as teachable moments in the fight against cremation.

Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 14:17:00 +0000

On March 1, HFBA remembered the 22 victims of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire who were buried in Mount Richmond Cemetery. A moving video was produced of the event which can be seen below.

To read media accounts of the ceremony, please visit http://www.hebrewfreeburial.org/TriangleFire.htm

On March 25, we're holding another ceremony, to coincide with the anniversary of the fire.

Cemetery Clean-Up Project FAQ

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 13:50:00 +0000

Q: What is the Cemetery Clean-Up Project?

A: HFBA established the Cemetery Clean-Up Project to ensure that Silver Lake Cemetery, their first, is properly maintained. Volunteers perform the mitzvah of chesed shel emet, doing a kindness that cannot be repaid, helping maintain the cemetery.

Q: What do the volunteers do?

A: Volunteers rake leaves, clear downed branches, and remove other debris from the cemetery.

Q: I’m concerned about my children being in a cemetery. Should I be?

A: Not at all. Another by product of the Cemetery Clean-Up Project is to properly educate students about Jewish burial rites, in an age appropriate manner. We teach students that cemeteries are not intrinsically scary places, and that our history needs to be remembered and respected. Over 1,000 volunteers participate each year in the program, with ages ranging from two years old to the mid nineties.

Q: What supplies are needed?

A: HFBA provides gloves, rakes, and bags. If you wish to bring your own additional supplies, you are welcome to do so.

Q: Where can I learn more about the Hebrew Free Burial Association and the Cemetery Clean-Up Project?

A: Please visit our website, www.hebrewfreeburial.org to learn more. You can watch our short video, as well as visit the volunteer section on the site.

Blessing Said at a Cemetery

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 14:37:00 +0000

The following blessing is said when one hasn't seen a Jewish grave in the past thirty days.

ברוך אתה יהוה, אלהנו מלך העולם, אשר יצר אתכם בדין, וזן וכלכל אתכם בדין, והמית אתכם בדין, ויודע מספר כלכם בדין, והוא עתיד להחיותכם ולקים אתכם בדין. ברוך אתה יהוה, מחיה המתים

Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, Who fashioned you with justice, nourished and sustained you with justice, took your lives with justice, knows the sum total of all of you with justice, and will restore and resuscitate you with judgement. Blessed are You, Who resuscitates the dead.

אתה גבור לעולם אדני, מחיה מתים אתה רב להושיע. מכלכל חיים בחסד, מחיה מתים ברחמים רבים, סומך נופלים, ורופא חולים, ומתיר אסורים, ומקים אמונתו לישני עפר. מי כמוך בעל גבורות, ומי דומה לך, מלך ממית ומחיה, ומצמיח ישועה. ונאמן אתה להחיות מתים

You are eternally mighty, my Lord, the Resuscitator of the dead are You; abundantly able to save. He sustains the living with kindness, resuscitates the dead with abundant mercy, supports the fallen, heals the sick, releases the confined, and maintains His faith to those asleep in the dust. Who is like You, O Master of mighty deeds, and who is comparable to You, O King Who causes death and restores life and makes salvation sprout. And You are faithful to resuscitate the dead.

This translation is from The Funeral and Cemetery Handbook by Rabbi David Weinberger and Rabbi Jacob J. Schachter and published by Mesorah Publications, ltd.

Honor Guard

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:09:00 +0000

Last week, HFBA buried a veteran of the United States Navy. The man passed away without any family of friends. When the Public Administrator authorized us to perform the burial, they insisted that the man be accompanied by a Naval Honor Guard.

With volunteers in attendance to make the minyan, the funeral took place in 2 stages, first the naval honors followed by a traditional Jewish funeral. For those in attendance it was an amazing sight, to see how much dignity and respect the Naval Officers showed the deceased. It is a true lesson for all of us, and should inspire us to maintain proper respect and decorum at all funerals that we will attend.

An Excuse to Talk About Death

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 19:27:00 +0000

I've found that talking about death is a taboo subject. People don't want to talk about it. There is no easy way to bring it up. This is problematic when family members or social workers want to discuss end of life issues with their loved ones or clients. "How do we bring up death?" is among the questions I'm most often asked.

"How do we bring up death?"

I suggest that people follow the news for clues. When someone famous dies, a window is opened for a serious discussion about our own mortality. Recently, there have been two examples that serve as examples. Senator Robert C. Byrd from West Virginia and George Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees. Both were major public figures whose deaths were (and in Mr. Steinbrenner's case, are still) major media stories. It is our job to create a conversation that will allow us to springboard towards our loved ones.

Michael Jackson's death last summer provided me with a great teaching moment for high school students. It opened an avenue to discuss how the Jewish approach to a funeral and burial was so very different than what we saw on TV and read in the papers. And I found that the students were able to relate to these differences.

An important note: Every situation is unique and regardless how the conversation is brought up, it needs to be done sensitively and with undivided attention. Blackberries and phones need to be turned off. The person needs to feel that you're speaking with them out of love and concern, and not because you're "anxious to see them go" and are already onto the next task.

Where's the party? Oh yeah, at the cemetery

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:44:00 +0000

My colleague forwarded me an interesting article (Wheat Ridge cemetery seeks to liven up with art, concerts) about a cemetery in Denver that is thinking outside of the box to bring visitors onto its grounds. At Olinger Crown Hill Cemetery, events are planned that will transform the cemetery into an art gallery, a floral display, and even a wedding site. As the article mentions:

Cemeteries across the country are increasingly broadening their attractions beyond disposal of bodies to draw people past the wrought-iron gates.

I feel that this is a complex situation. For far too long, cemeteries have been neglected, religious and secular. Abandoned cemeteries are scattered throughout the world. So on the surface, anything that will bring people into a cemetery should be a good thing. There is a lot to learn in a cemetery, and it is worthwhile to visit one every so often, especially if one is visiting the graves of their ancestors.

However, a cemetery is a solemn place. While I believe it is appropriate to have discussions or displays in a cemetery office, turning the cemetery proper into a gallery would be crossing a line. It's essential that when visiting a cemetery and walking through the rows of graves, one's focus should be on the buried below. Once the graves become the under card to the main event, then we do a disservice not only to those buried but to ourselves.

As a society we need to remember and embrace the cemeteries of yesteryear. But we should not do so at the expense of the sacredness of the ground.

e-News

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 17:57:00 +0000

We've begun a Q and A in our monthly e-News. Here's a sample:

Why do the mourners fill in the grave with earth?

Covering the grave with earth is the ultimate realization of chesed shel emet. We're doing something for the deceased without any expectations of return. By filling in the grave, we're covering the deceased which symbolizes love, concern, and respect. We don't want to leave anyone uncovered. This act of covering is the last practical act that we can do for our deceased loved ones.

To see more, and the rest of the e-News, please click here.

Innovation

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 19:47:00 +0000

Today, everything is about new and improved. 2.0 and 3rd generation are so outdated; it's time for 3.0 and 4th gen. New products and new innovations. The non-profit world is also under siege with demands to innovate. Donors want to see new and exciting programs. 21st century ideas.

However, at HFBA, this raises a dilemma. How do you innovate sacred and ancient burial rites?

The answer is you don't. The rites are the same. However, there are other areas where innovation are appropriate. Looking through original burial applications from the early 1900s, one sees handwritten records written in Yiddish. Several years later, English is used. By the 1940s, all of our applications were typed. In the late 1980s, our intake was done using DOS based computer programs. And since 2004, we've been using custom web based data management software.

How do we reach out to our donors? In addition to mail, HFBA sends out monthly e-News updates about our programs. Within the past few years, we've maintained active Facebook and Twitter profiles. We have this blog. And last month, we initiated a monthly YouTube video (in addition to our other HFBA films).

No matter the cause, there is room to innovate. HFBA has embraced this cause. Hopefully, you'll take advantage of some of what we offer. And if you do, tell us how we're doing.

Emulating G-d

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:40:00 +0000

The first in what we hope to be a regular series of videos about issues of death and dying from the Hebrew Free Burial Association.

Videos?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 16:38:00 +0000

We're planning on a video blog series for 2010. There are many topics to discuss. Kaddish. Cremation. Keil Maleh. Tachrichim (burial shrouds).

Is there a topic that you think we should cover? Please let us know!

info@hebrewfreeburial.org

Thank you.

We need to bury 14% more people with 10% less money

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:24:00 +0000

As you've noticed, the Chesed Shel Emes blog has been neglected. With an increased presence on Facebook and Twitter, the blog has lagged behind. Hopefully, that will change, and the blogging will continue.

Let me start with this.

We have all been affected somehow by the economic downturn. Goods and services cost more, and perhaps we're making less. Unfortunately for HFBA, we've been hurt as well. From two ends.

Our caseload is up 14% in 2009 over 2008. And our 2008 caseload saw an 11% increase over 2007. Meanwhile, our donations are down this year by 10%.

We need to bury 14% more people with 10% less money.

Fortunately, we are up to the challenge. We will bury over 300 people this year. And we will be there for those who need us. But we do need your help as well. Please consider a donation to HFBA. Partner with us in performing chesed shel emes so every Jew will receive a proper and dignified Jewish burial.

Parshat Chayei Sara Campaign

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:35:00 +0000

Every year, HFBA asks congregations to designate the Shabbat of Parshat Chayei Sara to raise awareness of our important mission. This year is no exception. What is an exception is however:

In 2009, our caseload has increased by 15%
Our donations are down during this economic downturn
The need for our services is more crucial than ever

It is essential for HFBA to continue to provide funerals and burials for those who cannot afford it, as we have done for 120 years.

We are turning to our friends with the following request:

Please ask your Rabbis and Synagogue lay leaders to assist with our efforts. Include HFBA in the weekly sermon. Allow us to send you materials to display in your lobby. Arrange a group of volunteers to Silver Lake Cemetery.

We appreciate your support during these difficult economic times. If we can help you, please don't hesitate to call us at (212) 239-1662.

Hate Still Exists

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:31:00 +0000

Last year, in a post about the desecration of Jewish cemeteries, I wrote:

Our children need to be taught about the injustices of history. Whether it is the Holocaust, or the historical oppression of African-Americans in the United States, or the current genocide in Darfur, we need to teach and inform others about history.

Hate exists. We need to educate our children that hate is wrong. We need to educate ourselves about hatred throughout history. Otherwise, society is doomed to a continuance of hate and intolerance.

Yesterday was a sad reminder that hate shows no boundaries, not even age. The mindless murder of Officer Stephen Tyrone Johns at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum was made more shocking when it was revealed his killer was 88 years old. Someone was so hateful, that they devoted their entire life to propagating that hate.

We need to reaffirm our commitment to eradicating hatred from the world. And we need to teach our children to be tolerant of others. We don't have to agree with everyone. We're entitled to believe whatever we'd like. But we can't confuse disagreement with hatred. That is a very dangerous leap.

Officer Stephen Tyrone Johns served heroically, and gave his life standing up to hatred. His memory should inspire us to continue the mission of the museum, "to confront hatred, prevent genocide, promote human dignity, and strengthen democracy."

How is the Yahrzeit determined?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:21:00 +0000

The yahrzeit is the anniversary of death according to the Hebrew calendar. It is observed annually, by saying the kaddish prayer in shul, lighting a candle, and some have the custom of visiting the cemetery as well. It is also a meritorious practice to give tzedakah (charity) as a merit for the deceased.

What information is needed to determine the yahrzeit?

If the Hebrew date is known, then that is the yahrzeit. If you don't know the Hebrew date, the yahrzeit could be calculated using the English date. The full date is needed (month, day, and year). Time of death matters too. The Hebrew date begins at sundown. So it is necessary to know if the deceased passed away before or after sundown. If its after, than the yahrzeit is on the next day.

The Hebrew Free Burial Association offers a yahrzeit reminder service. If you would like to be reminded several weeks prior to the yahrzeit of a friend or loved one, please contact our office at (212) 239-1662 or info@hebrewfreeburial.org, and we'll establish the reminder service for you.

Click here for a free online utility that can convert the dates for you.

Hebrew Free Burial Association Community Chesed Day

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 17:22:00 +0000

Hebrew Free Burial Association Community Chesed Day

Join us this Sunday for our 3rd annual Community Chesed Day as we help clean, clear, and maintain our historic Silver Lake Cemetery.

For more information, or to sign up, please contact our office at (212) 239-1662.

Or sign up through Facebook at, http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=61205273860.

For more information about HFBA, please visit www.hebrewfreeburial.org

DATE: Sunday April 26

TIME: 12:00-2:00

LOCATION: Silver Lake Cemetery

926 Victory Boulevard

Staten Island, NY

Weather Permitting

Directions to

Silver Lake Cemetery

926 Victory Boulevard

Staten Island, NY 10301

From the Verazzano Bridge:

Staten Island Expressway (I-278 W)

Take exit 13 to Richmond Rd/Clove Rd

Bear right at Clove Rd

Turn right at Victory Blvd

Silver Lake Cemetery is on your right

From the Goethals Bridge:

Take Goethals Bridge to the Staten Island Expressway (I-278)

Take Exit 12, Todt Hill Road/Slosson Avenue

Turn Left onto Slosson Avenue

Turn Right onto Victory Boulevard

Silver Lake Cemetery is on your right

HFBA in the NY Times!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:05:00 +0000

Yesterday's NY Times featured a full length story about the Hebrew Free Burial Association.

If you haven't read it yet, here's a link to the story.

On Staten Island, a Jewish Cemetery Where All Are Equals in Death

Where's Your Password

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:03:00 +0000

Several years ago, YAHOO came under scrutiny for not giving parents access to their deceased son's e-mail. Their son, a United States soldier, was killed in Iraq, and they hoped to retrieve his e-mails. YAHOO argued that giving the parents access would be in violation of their privacy policy. After negotiations, the parents eventually received access to their son's e-mails.

When putting together documents for my safety deposit box, this story came to mind. I decided to include a document with my user names, passwords, and access codes, for important websites I frequent; my e-mail, banking, investments, etc..,. If G-d forbid, something should ever happen, I would want my family to have access to my e-mail, especially since my e-mail could just as well be my auto-biography. All my e-mails are saved, and one after the other, they tell the story of my life, what I've done, what I'm doing, and what my thoughts are on different topics.

Last week, I saw an article on MSNBC that touched on this issue. Methods to inform one's online community upon your death. Online communities are a new reality for many, and its important to remember our online lives when preparing for our real world end.

A Deal To Die For

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:46:00 +0000

A Deal To Die For: Funeral director offers free funeral for construction work on his apartment

What will they think of next!

Family First

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:27:00 +0000

The Freakonomics blog is one of my favorite. I loved the book, and enjoy reading their day to day opinions on the world. Today, there was a random post that I thought was appropriate to this forum.

The story is about a man who forgot to honor his deathly ill daughter's simple request. It is a sad story with an important lesson for us. Our family needs to be our priority. When our loved ones ask for something, we need to remember.

Life is about balancing priorities. We need to remember that Priority #1 is our family.

Donate your used car to the Hebrew Free Burial Association

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Donate your used car to the Hebrew Free Burial Association.

Your donation will be used to ensure that every Jew receives a proper Jewish burial.

We will tow your car away for free.

IRS Tax Deduction as Allowable by Law

For more information, please call our office at (212) 239-1662 or e-mail info@hebrewfreeburial.org.

Please visit our website, www.hebrewfreeburial.org

Ed Koch's Tombstone

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 13:58:00 +0000

[Former NYC Mayor Ed Koch's] funeral service will be held at Temple Emanu-El in Manhattan... He will be buried in the nondenominational Trinity Church Cemetery in Upper Manhattan under a tombstone that quotes the last words of Daniel Pearl, the Wall Street Journal reporter beheaded in 2002 by Islamic terrorists (“My father is Jewish, my mother is Jewish, I am Jewish”) and includes the most familiar Jewish prayer, in English and Hebrew, (“Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One”)...

(Koch Makes His Peace and Dares to Look Ahead NYTimes)

Mayor Koch's Judaism is extremely important to him
New York City is very important to him as well

It is a beautiful stone. There is a Star of David on top. The Shema prayer on the bottom. But I'm fixated on Daniel Pearl's last words.

“My father is Jewish, my mother is Jewish, I am Jewish”

We practice Judaism differently. But we are Jews. And we want to die as Jews. We live our lives differently. We have different values and beliefs. But we believe that our Judaism is important to us.

Mayor Koch is a staunch defender of Israel and Jewish causes. He wears his Judaism on his sleeve. His choice of burial place, Trinity Church Cemetery (technically a non-denominational cemetery) isn't a Jewish cemetery. He loves New York City, and this is one of NYC's most significant cemeteries. Despite not being in a Jewish cemetery, Mayor Koch's burial place will be a reminder to people to value their Judaism.

He is sending a message to be proud of your Judaism. Judaism isn't going to hold you back. You can be a Jew and Mayor of New York City (Koch, and Bloomberg as well), or a Congressman, Senator, or Vice Presidential candidate. Mayor Koch will be leaving an important legacy through his stone.

A person's tombstone should be a reflection of their life, and how they wish to be remembered. Mayor Koch wants to be remembered as a Jew. That's a lesson for all of us.