Chester Chronicle - And Finally

And Finally... Fireworks display gone in 50 seconds

2011-11-08T08:54:11Z

Residents of Oban in Scotland got a lot of bang for their buck at their Bonfire Night display. Unfortunately it was all done and dusted in under a minute.

]]> The show, organised by Oban and Lorn Lions, was supposed to last about half an hour, with the release of the fireworks set to music.

Unfortunately, due to a technical hitch, all £6,000 worth of fireworks went off at the same time.

Local councillor Roddy McCuish, who helped set up the show, said: "It was like daylight. It was absolutely fantastic."

When the fireworks had stopped, he thought that they had got out of time with the music. However, when Cllr McCuish was informed of what really happened, it fell to him to tell the public.

"When I did announce 'that was it', people thought I was joking," he said.

Pyro 1, The company that ran the display, apologised for the error and vowed to put on a free show on November 27 to mark the end of Oban's winter festival.

And Finally... Las Vegas bulldozers don't miss an opportunity to please the tourists

2011-09-05T08:53:17Z

The construction industry in and around Las Vegas has been hit hard by the global recession, so an enterprising business owner is letting tourists have a go in his would-be-idle diggers and bulldozers for a fee.

]]> The scheme is basically a very large sandpit where customers, paying $750 a time, scoop up earth, rocks and tyres, trundle around with them and dump them down again. Customers also get a chance to prove their finesse on the handles by picking up smaller, trickier items like basketballs.

"I thought it would be much clunkier, and the lighter you are with the controls, the easier it worked," said Mary Fitzsimons, a doctor from California.

Operator Ed Mumm says he started the scheme, called Dig This, after renting out plant equipment to build his house in Colorado. He enjoyed the experience of operating the machines, saying it takes people out of their everyday lives.

Mr Mumm added: "When they're in those machines, everything else doesn't mean anything. They've forgotten about all the stresses in their lives because the fact is, they've got to focus on that piece of equipment."

So the motto of the story is: 'When the economy's in a hole, start digging'.

And Finally... Link between climate patterns and wars starting, say scientists

2011-08-25T08:42:28Z

The climate system El Nino could be a factor in the start of a number of wars, a study has shown.

]]> A group of historians and climate specialists have correlated the figures of all the civil wars in 175 countries between 1950 and 2004, and found that, in the 90 countries most affected by El Nino, the likelihood of conflict occurring is doubled in the years when the hot, dry climate system's effects are at their sharpest compared to when the cooler, wetter La Nina pattern holds sway.

El Nino is characterised by excessive heat, which is often followed by droughts, affecting crops and increasing the risk of natural disasters like hurricanes and epidemics of infectious disease.

And because its peaks can be predicted up to two years in advance, there is the potential for planning for ebbs and flows in conflicts and their associated humanitarian impact.

Study co-author Mark Cane, a climate scientist at Columbia's Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory, said: "What [the study] does show, beyond any doubt, is that even in this modern world, climate variations have an impact on the propensity of people to fight. And it is frankly difficult to see why that won't carry over to a world that is disrupted by global warming."

Brings a whole new meaning to 'hot-headed behaviour'.

And Finally... Thief arrested after leaving his false teeth at scene of the crime

2011-08-15T06:54:17Z

A thief from Brazil has admitted stealing a purse after a witness found his false teeth at the scene of the crime.

]]> A homeless man saw Milton Cesar de Jesus snatch a purse in Severini, a town in the south-west of the country. The witness also saw that a set of false teeth had been left at the scene.

The man gave the teeth and a description of the assailant to the police. They arrested de Jesus, who confessed to the crime after police popped the teeth in and found that they fitted perfectly.

Who says the police are toothless these days?

And Finally... Radio 4 'bores' foxes away from swan sanctuary

2011-08-11T08:25:18Z

A swannery in Dorset has come across a novel way of stopping foxes from attacking its swans - by broadcasting Radio 4 at them.

]]> The birds at Abbotsbury Swannery are protected by fences stretching out across a lagoon, but cunning foxes used to swim around the fences and attack them.

But swanherd Dave Wheeler received a tip from a Devon chicken farmer - play BBC Radio 4 at them and they stay away.

"In his words, 'Radio 4 is so boring foxes won't go near it'," said Dave.

At the edge of the swannery, where the foxes used to sneak round, Dave has positioned hidden speakers which play the station's mostly spoken-word broadcasts at full volume.

''Foxes follow the boundary fence looking for a way to get in to the swannery and it's when they get to the water that we need to deter them," said Dave.

''They hear voices and they think people must be around and so they go away."

"I never knew the name of the farmer," added Dave. "He said he found out by accident. He left his radio on and he didn't lose a chicken that night."

The swans aren't bothered by the noise as they are used to people. There is no evidence to suggest that they would prefer to listen to BBC Radio Swan instead.

And Finally... Hot dog? That'll be £50 please

2011-07-25T06:13:14Z

What could better sum up America than an afternoon at the baseball with a hot dog in hand? How about a hot dog made from choice ingredients costing $80 (£50)?

]]> Massachusetts baseball side the Brockton Rox have added a particularly extravagant option to its refreshments repertoire, featuring ingredients that usually wouldn't be seen within a Mark McGuire slug of a fast food menu.

The McMullen Dog, named after Atlantic City chief Ryan McMullen, whose idea it was, is made up of a half-pound all-beef sausage, topped with crushed poricini mushrooms, truffle oil and white truffle shavings, all wrapped in a buckwheat blini from an exclusive bakery on Cape Cod.

There is an optional dressing of creme fraiche with salmon roe and caviar.

"It's a cross of the redneck meets the rich and famous," says the Rox's food and beverage director Sander Stotland.

However, it does create a bit of a dilemma if you're holding one with both hands and a home run comes hurtling towards your head...

And Finally... Sacked News of the World staff may have had their cryptic revenge

2011-07-12T11:15:09Z

Staff let go when the News of the World folded last week appear to have fired a few parting shots at the management in the final edition's crossword puzzle.

]]> Rebekah Brooks, the chief executive of News International, the company that ran the News of the World, seems to be the chief target, with the 9 Across clue for the quick puzzle mentioning her by name, 'Brook'.

The best barbs seem to be reserved for the cryptic clues, for example 'Woman stares wildly at calamity', 'Will fear new security measure' and 'Mix in prison'.

The crossword compiler seems to suggest the situation may affect the group's other titles The Times, The Sunday Times and The Sun by saying 'At home, fold may expand' on 13 down, while the 19 down quick clue is 'Criminal enterprise'.

The answers weren't much better, with such gems as 'Deplored', 'Stench' and 'Disaster'.

As for what happens next for the staff? Well, the compiler has that covered too, with 'We're off to get a jug'.

And Finally... Even Britain's robots can't win the World Cup

2011-07-11T11:49:08Z

The cream of the UK's robot footballers have drawn comparison with their human compatriots by being eliminated from the robot football World Cup.

]]> Edinferno, a team from Edinburgh University, was eliminated in the group stages of its competition at RoboCup 2011 in Istanbul, Turkey, without scoring a single goal.

All the robots in the various RoboCup competitions are autonomous, meaning they are not directly controlled by people, rather they rely purely on their own programming to play the game.

Edinferno are the first British team to take part in the event, which has been held annually since 1997. They were playing in the Standard Platform competition, which uses identical robots, but each team programs them individually.

The competition's ultimate aim is to develop a robot team that could beat the human World Cup holders of the time before 2050.

The Edinferno coach, Dr Subramanian Ramamoorthy, vowed to bring a stronger side to next year's competition, which will be held in Mexico City.

"Almost all the bugs that stopped us were because we were not match ready," he said, demonstrating that match fitness is as big an issue in robot sports as human ones.

And Finally... iPhone app helps collar suspected thieves

2011-07-04T12:59:37Z

Police in Oregon managed to arrest two men who stole an iPhone after being remotely tracked by an app installed on the device.

]]> The phone had been stolen, along with a laptop and other items, from the back of a car parked at Roster Rock State Park. The phone's owner, Lilli Gordon, had made a brief stop on her way to the airport to go back home to California with her mother after babysitting for Lilli's aunt, and the car was full of her luggage.

Deputies told Lilli that there was little chance of her getting her stuff back. Having missed her original flight she carried on to the airport, hoping to get on another one. When she got to the airport she remembered an app she'd installed which transmits the location of the phone.

She contacted her father, Lowell, back in California, who went online to track the phone's location. He initially traced it to an address in North Portland, where police found some of Lilli's belongings. But no iPhone.

Then Lowell noticed the phone was moving. He alerted police, who moved to surround the location. A deputy located a group of three men and, as he talked to them, another officer dialled the phone, which rang in one of their pockets.

Two men, Nicholas Barnard and Lonnie Rogers, are due to appear in court accused of the theft.

And Finally... Seagull shoots its own movie at Cannes

2011-06-28T07:30:04Z

Ah Cannes, the French Riviera, the sun, the sea, the home of the most prestigious film festival in the world.

It certainly is an inspiring place. So much so that it prompted one of the local seagulls to steal a camera and film a bird's-eye view of the town.

And Finally... Too much coffee makes you hear voices, say scientists

2011-06-13T11:41:30Z

A study by Australian scientists has suggested that you are more likely to hear auditory hallucinations the more coffee you drink.

]]> Participants in the study were told to listen to a recording of white noise. Whenever they heard even a snippet of Bing Crosby's famous song White Christmas they were to click a hand tally counter.

They were duped - the song was never played to them. But the people in the survey who were the most stressed and the biggest coffee drinkers, claimed to have heard the tune the most times.

Simon Crowe, the study's lead author and a neuroscientist at Australia's La Trobe University, in Bundoora, Victoria, said: "We believe that high stress, in addition to taking high levels of caffeine, makes people yet more stressed and thus makes them more likely to 'overreact' to the environment -- i.e., to hear things that just aren't there,"

I personally think the results of the study prompt a more significant question -- who needs iPods when you can just drink coffee and listen to any song you like?

And Finally... German comedians named least funny (apparently)

2011-06-08T07:49:19Z

Germans struggle to raise a titter and are the least funny nation in the world.

But Americans can make us laugh like drains and came top of a poll to find the funniest of 15 nationalities.

The verdict on the UK, lagging in seventh place, was "you're not as funny as you think". And certainly not as amusing as the Spanish, Italians, Brazilians, French or Mexicans, who all beat us.

The poll by social network site Badoo concluded that German comedians were the least amusing because they could not laugh at themselves. Their humour was often lost in translation.

But German stand-up Henning Wehn said people did not understand his country's love of slapstick, adding: "An old codger falling over or a cake in the face is always funny - even in a famine."

And Finally... Boy sells his kidney to buy an iPad

2011-06-06T07:35:40Z

A DESPERATE teenager sold one of his kidneys... so he could buy the latest iPad.

The 17-year-old Chinese lad, identified only as Little Zheng, arranged the sale over the internet.

He told a local TV station he was prepared to risk almost anything to get his hands on the hi-tech gadget. But now he is seeking help after medical complications set in.

]]> The hospital where the procedure allegedly took place has denied all knowledge of it. And the internet contact has proved untraceable.

The bizarre story only came to light when his horrified mother noticed the deep red operation scars on his body and began to question him about how he had suddenly come into a small fortune.

The youngster finally admitted he had seen an online advert on a pal's computer and reckoned it was an easy way to make money. Illegal agents organised a trip to the hospital and paid him $3,392 (€2,340) for the kidney. With the cash he bought an iPad 2 and a laptop.

The incident highlights China's growing black market in organ trafficking. A scarcity of donors has led to a boom in illicit operations.

Chinese authorities banned organ trafficking in 2007 and have since introduced a voluntary donor scheme to try to combat the trade.

And Finally... Ants found living inside girl's ears

2011-05-31T07:42:03Z

DOCTORS have found almost 30 ants living in the ears of a teenage girl who loved snacking in bed.

Fallen crumbs from the 16-year-old's night-time treats tempted the insects into nesting in her ears.

Medics found six in her left ear and more than 20 in her right after she went to a hospital in Taiwan with pain and itching.

The ants were successfully removed and doctors said she was lucky to have no permanent damage. They also told her to stop eating in bed.

And Finally... Penguin gets a wetsuit

2011-05-27T10:45:45Z

A balding African penguin in San Francisco has been given a helping flipper. His keepers have created a mini wetsuit for him.