Chew Boy

Dish

2012-02-24T00:00:00.003-08:00

There once was a cat and a fish,

Who both loved to gossip and dish;

Once the fish shared some fluff, “Have you heard about Ruff?

They say he’s a little bit SWISH.

Sulfur The Skunk

2012-02-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

Take a whiff of Sulfur the Skunk,

'Cause he lacks that signature funk;

He dilutes the smell, that makes us repel,

By rolling around in old junk.

Yoga Cat

2012-02-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

There was once a lazy old Cat,

Who realized he’d gotten too fat;

So he stretched out his toes, in a downward dog pose,

And crumpled his poor Yoga mat.

Fad

2012-02-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

This year's most popular fad,

Is to dress like you're totally mad;

Scream out loud! Cause a racket! In a mask and straight jacket,

Colored blue or patterned in plaid.

Ballerina

2012-01-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

This daring young dancer named Tina,

Is the first legless ballerina;

Without any toes, she tips on her nose,

To jeté across the arena.

The Elephant Duck

2012-01-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

An inventor named Thaddeus Bruck,

Created The Elephant Duck;

Its billed trunk makes a quack, and webbed feet put the smack,

Down on those who might give him a pluck.

Lush

2012-01-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

There was once a tipsy old Cat,

Who enjoyed licking wine by the vat;

He was such a big lush, that his fur would go flush,

And he'd fall over drunk on his mat.

Grounded

2012-01-09T10:33:00.000-08:00

Pregnant Pam was starting to fume,

As her twins traded kicks in the womb;

They fought such a great bout, that she had to scream out,

"You're grounded!! Now go to your room!!"

Heels

2012-01-07T00:02:00.000-08:00

The latest new automobiles,

Have eight legs instead of four wheels,

With each turn of the key, Time for a shopping spree,

For fancy new designer heels.

The Toad and The Frog

2012-01-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

There once was a toad and a frog,

Who locked their tongues tight in a snog;

They tried to untwine, with the help of a swine,

But got strapped to the snout of that hog.

The Sensitive Spy

2012-01-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

There once was a sensitive spy,

who when frightened, started to cry,

He would sniffle and sob, right there on the job,

Till his foes felt moved to comply.

Cutbacks

2011-12-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

There are major cutback underway,

That could cause Christmas to delay;

The eight tiny reindeer, have been laid off this year,

Forcing Santa to pull his own sleigh.

Buck

2011-12-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

There was once a penniless buck,

Who was very much down on his luck;

Then he found a career, haulin' tail in high gear,

'Hind the wheel of a big semi truck.

Tan

2011-12-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

There was once a crazy snowman,

In the sun, out getting a tan;

Though he loved how it felt, It was clear he would melt,

So he collected his drops in a pan.

Pet

2011-12-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

There was once an unusual vet,

Who had a dream of becoming a pet;

He could bark and eat kibble, stick his tongue out and dribble,

Dodge the swipes of a dog catcher's net.

Buck Teeth

2011-12-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

Barton Beaver's buck teeth have mutated,

From his gums, they quickly separated;

That pearly white pair, found a dentist's chair,

and returned all blinged-out and gold plated.

Wish List

2011-12-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

This Christmas Santa made a wish list,

And wants something that doesn't exist;

A giant carnivore, reindeer-like-dinosaur,

That he'll get, or else he'll be pissed.

Wed

2011-12-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

There's a couple who wish to be wed,

While tucked up, all snug in their bed;

A bed bug-like creature, could act as their preacher;

and they could use the bride's gown as their spread.

Maid Brigade

2011-12-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

There was once a proud army brigade,
Who were forced to adopt a new trade;
A whole band of recruits, had to hang up their boots,
And perform the chores done by a maid.

Acrobat

2011-12-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

Fisher Brown is a young alley cat,

Who's been trained as a skilled acrobat;

He swings on the trapeze, with the help of his fleas,

Who make sure that he doesn't go SPLAT!

Holiday Shoppers

2011-11-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

There's a crowd of holiday shoppers,

Being held back by the mall coppers;

They've been waiting since dawn, to get their hands on,

The new, must-have medicine droppers.

Eye of Round

2011-11-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

There's a butcher with an eye of round,

Which he wanted to mince into ground;

But each time he fed beef, down a meat grinders teeth,

It wound up in the mouth of his hound.

Ear

2011-11-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

There's a man who exchanged his ear,

For an antler worn by a deer;

Though he's glad for the trade, he walks scared and afraid,

Around hunting season each year,

Seat Filla

2011-11-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

Animal Actor, Dave the Gorilla,

Got work as an award show seat filla;

He dreams he'll go far and become a big star,

With an uber chic Hollywood villa.

Matador

2011-11-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

There once was a timid Matador,

Who was frightened by violence and gore;

He pleaded with the bull, "Please, oh please don't be cruel!"

But in the end, he still got his pants tore.