CHICKS ROCK!

Lucky Charms

2012-05-17T12:00:00.000-04:00

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.

A rabbit's foot, four-leaf clover or that certain pair of underwear - we all have things in our life that we consider good luck charms. Objects that we hold near and dear to serve the purpose of bringing us a little special magic in whatever scenario we need it.

But what about your inner charms, the things that make you YOU, those little quirks, sayings and even physical characteristics that come together in a combination uniquely yours? That is where your true luck lies, and by using them and trusting where they take you, doors that were previously closed can start to miraculously open.

We spend more time and energy than we realize trying to fit in and conform to certain standards of acceptance. Whether it be in our work, family, relationships, appearance or lifestyle, most people bury to varying degrees the very substance that will make them the most appreciated and successful. So if things aren't going your way right now, why not 'let your freak flag fly' and see what happens?

In Trouble For No Reason

2012-05-16T10:00:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been in a situation at work where you did nothing wrong, but the hypersensitivity of others gets you in trouble? This just happened to my mother, a nurse supervisor, who had to report a staffing situation at work, and then recommended that the managers make sure their staffing is secure before they leave for the weekends. She actually got in trouble for writing this, even though this is what managers are supposed to do. Her co-workers and I know she did nothing wrong, but it appears that her direct supervisor agrees with the manager who complained about her email in the first place. My mother has been warned and even threatened with termination if they find fault with her future correspondence. There is definitely more to this story meets the eye.

My mother is planning to retire next year, so she is ready for an earlier termination if it comes. She is also one of the highest paid in her position, so those who do the firing would prefer to let go of someone like her. This way, they can hire someone else to do the same work for much less. My mother’s supervisor, who was just hired last year to clean house, has been very critical of her for nonexistent offences. My mother’s saving grace has always been her great work ethic; if her performance was less than stellar, she definitely would have been fired by now.

The complaint made against my mother is just further proof that those who are great at their jobs, are pleasant and fair to their co-workers, subordinates, and supervisors, and always try to do the right thing can still be on the chopping block for a many complicated reasons. I think the lesson is to continue doing a good job, whatever it may be, but to be aware of those in the position to make life more difficult, for their own reasons. A little paranoia may be necessary for survival.

Have you been in trouble at work for no valid reason?

Challenged

2012-05-15T11:00:00.000-04:00

Last night, while making one roommate take photos of my outfit, I explained to my other roommate that I was doing a clothing challenge. For the month of May, I'm wearing only six items of clothing. I can mix and match as desired, accessorize however I'd like and things like shoes, outerwear, and activewear don't count in the six items.

After explaining this, my roommate asked "so what do you get in the end?" I stared at her, confused about why people keep asking me this, and said "the knowledge that I was able to do it, of course." That's when she said something I hadn't totally noticed before: "you really like doing these random challenges for fun, don't you?" At first, I didn't know what else she was referring to, but then remembered some of my other recent challenges and realized she was right. In the time she's known me, I had a dating/love life challenge of sorts, then there was the no alcohol in January thing, and more recently trying one new thing a month.

Apparently, challenging myself to do random things people don't normally do is becoming a hobby of mine.

I didn't notice I was doing it, and wasn't really sure why I'm drawn to them, so I started to think it over last night and came to the conclusion that I love competing with myself and proving to myself and others that I can do things I don't initially think I can do. There doesn't need to be any reward at the end and i don't need any glory, just the feeling that I finished something I set out to do.

Do you ever challenge yourself when there isn't necessarily a "prize" at the end?

Meeting Rosa

2012-05-14T12:45:00.000-04:00

In the course of my recent travels, I've found that it is very easy for me to draw inspiration from the world around me. I also find that when you set your mind toward learning about a specific topic (in my case, the civil rights and black power movements) the world continuously offers up tidbits of information in even the most unlikely places.

When I was in Dallas recently, I was delighted to encounter this statue of Rosa Parks, one of the celebrated figures of the civil rights movement. The little plaza where she sits (beside a bus station, appropriately!) is something of a monument to the cause she struggled for, with a quote from the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King emblazoned on the fountain wall behind her.

It's a nice monument, of course, but what surprised me was finding it in Dallas, far from the Montgomery, Alabama, location of Ms. Parks's actual public bus sit-in in 1955. Certainly her story has ascended to a position of national prominence, and I'd be thrilled to find more statues of people like her scattered around the country, but in this case it still caught me off guard. In a good way.

I like being surprised and delighted by the world around me. When I am home, moving through my familiar circles, it is so easy to keep my head down and follow an expected path, rather than opening my eyes to what unexpected things might be lurking around any given corner. Like my new fondness for public art, the inspiration of random encounters is helping me think in new and creative ways, and I find it exciting.

Have you been surprised or inspired lately?

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 4

2012-05-09T10:00:00.001-04:00

We love our guest bloggers here at CHICKS ROCK!, so read through the diverse stories they've shared with us.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 3

2012-05-09T10:00:00.000-04:00

One topic we love writing about here at CHICKS ROCK! is travel and since it fits so well with our "spring break" theme, take a look back at our travel posts.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 2

2012-05-08T10:00:00.000-04:00

As we continue our spring break at CHICKS ROCK!, let's look back on the posts about finding your voice and how important that is.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 1

2012-05-07T10:00:00.000-04:00

We're a bit late in taking our spring break this year at CHICKS ROCK! But for today, take a look back at some of our personal growth posts and reflect on your own personal growth.

Friday Forum: Favorite Fakes

2012-05-04T12:00:00.000-04:00

This weekend is one of the bigger "fake" holidays of the year: Cinco de Mayo. The misconception is that it celebrates Mexican Independence Day, but it's not actually a holiday many Mexicans celebrate. In some ways, it's similar to St. Patrick's Day, another fun "fake". Which is your favorite "fake" holiday?

What Are You Looking For?

2012-05-03T10:50:00.000-04:00

We love making this site more about you and what you want, so we're doing another check-in to see what you're looking for. What type of content do you want to read? What writers would you like to see more of? Let us know in the comments or by emailing!

Beware of Scorpions

2012-05-02T10:34:00.001-04:00

I always loved Aesop’s fables, but almost forgot one that has now become my personal favorite: The Scorpion and the Frog. It is a short yet meaty story about a scorpion agreeing not to sting a frog who agrees to take him across the river to safety. Inevitably the journey is ill-fated; they both wind up sinking, because of the scorpion’s nature to attack, even though it leads to his demise. It is not a happy story, but the lesson it teaches resonates with me. I want to avoid being at the mercy of the scorpions around me and to know them when I see them. It is similar to Sun Tzu's “know your enemy" with animal references.

This is hard to do when there are scorpions in our family and friend circles. I have dealt with one in particular since childhood, but my becoming aware of this individual’s destructive nature has helped me gain the proper perspective. I learned how to avoid poisonous behavior to maintain my own peace of mind. It is strange to compare a person to a scorpion, but I just see it as a point of reference in my own psyche. I know I never want to be a frog, when it comes to another person’s nature to attack others and self-destruct in the process.

When it is unavoidable dealing with a scorpion, whether it is a boss, a difficult family member, or friend of a friend, I find that the best ways to handle the situation depend on the nature of the relationship. If contact is limited, maintaining an emotional and physical distance and avoiding any financial, legal, or other kind of arrangement are key strategies. It is more difficult if the scorpion is predominant in our everyday lives. Regardless of the relationships, it is important to protect ourselves and understand the nature of cruelty, so it does not destroy us.

How do you deal with your scorpions?

When's a Decision Decided?

2012-05-01T11:00:00.000-04:00

Why is it that just when you think you've decided something, you realize that you actually haven't? Somebody brings up a point you hadn't considered or money you saved for one thing suddenly needs to be used for something else entirely or you wake up one morning wondering why you're not fully satisfied with your decision. This has been happening to me a lot in the last several months and it's starting to make me wonder if I even know how to make decisions anymore.

One example of this is my potential move to Paris. I knew I wanted to go, I'd come up with a plan to make it happen and had more or less decided that grad school in Paris was my plan for 2013. Except that all the money I'd started to save for it had to go to sudden emergency expenses, like my taxes. And then the chances of getting a long stay visa seemed much less impossible than they had been before. And then I started to meet people with connections in Paris so that being a student was no longer the only way to make friends.

So now what? Now I'm back to square two: I have no idea what I'm doing when, but at least I have more options than I did back at square one a year ago. Still, my decision is now undecided, making me feel a bit lost.

When is a decision final for you? How do you know when to stop wondering about other options and sticking with what you decided?

The Art of Observation

2012-04-30T09:00:00.000-04:00

I've been observing and enjoying a lot of public art lately. It might be because I'm traveling and so my eyes are open to noticing the world around me in different ways than usual. But even when I was last home, I found myself increasingly viewing the world in terms of visual art. I've been trying to take more pictures, and I always have my camera (or cell phone camera, at least) on hand and it makes all the difference when I am consciously aware of each new corner of the world as a potential photographic subject.

In every city I visit, I'm finding there is a notable presence of public art: dynamic sculptures, wall murals (some commissioned, some graffiti) activist-inspired installations, and much much more.

These discoveries have led me to think a lot about the presence and role of art in the world in general, and in public spaces in particular. I think about how essential it is, how delightfully overwhelming it can be to be startled, moved, inspired, made to giggle or to react in some visceral way to a piece of art encountered unexpectedly.

There's great power in art, which of course I knew already, being an artist myself, but the sort of art I pursue is more deliberate somehow. Readers don't tend to "accidentally" read a novel, not in the way you can so easily stumble into a piece of visual art, or overhear a song. I suppose you could compare the act of turning a corner and meeting a delicious sculpture to the act of browsing a bookstore and discovering a gem of a read you might never have gone in search of but just finds its way into your hand at the opportune moment.

At any rate, these recent glimpses of art continue to surprise and delight me. I continue to take their pictures and fold them into the photographic record of the life I am currently living. Which, I suppose is another layer of art unto itself.

Do you tend to notice art in the world around you?

Friday Forum: New New Year's Resolution?

2012-04-28T12:00:00.000-04:00

If it hasn't happened already, this might be the time when a lot of people are wondering if they should change their New Year's resolution to something more manageable or more important to them. What was your resolution and how are you doing with it? Will you be changing it to something new?

Check In With Yourself & Us

2012-04-26T12:00:00.001-04:00

We're now a third of the way through the year, so it's a good time to think about some of the goals you set up for yourself and how you're doing. Even better than that might be writing about it! It'll help give you some perspective and you can get support from others. So think about it and submit a guest post when you're done!

Return to Manhattan

2012-04-25T11:48:00.000-04:00

Something I thought would never happen again is happening; I am moving back to New York City. I lived in northern Manhattan for a year in the early 2000s, and moved back to my home state of New Jersey afterwards, thinking I would never live there again. I thought this way for a variety of reasons, but the cost of living tops the list. As rents continue to skyrocket, I will never rationalize paying so much for such small living spaces. Now, I find myself getting ready to return to Manhattan without having to pay an exorbitant amount, and I am looking forward to it.

I have always liked New York City for all the obvious and not so obvious reasons. Manhattan in particular has always been great for me because I love walking, and when the weather is pleasant and I have time, I will explore neighborhoods on foot. It really is the best way to take in the sights; I even block out the auto traffic when I am not crossing the street, except when there is a major commotion. But even a few car horn blasts leave me indifferent, especially when I find myself walking on a particularly interesting street. I like having access to a car in New Jersey, but I will not need one in Manhattan, so I am looking forward to that.

I do not see myself living in Manhattan for a long time. I see it is a transition more than a permanent move, especially since I will not have a lease to abide by. I have been saying for a few years that I am looking to move out of the NYC metropolitan area, so I never thought I would be returning to Manhattan before leaving. I see it as a way to say farewell before venturing to places yet unknown. I am looking forward to my return stint as an older and wiser person, and this time I will make the most of it.

Beauty in the Breakdown

2012-04-24T23:26:00.001-04:00

We're happy to share today's post from TWM Founder Kristina Leonardi

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~ Viktor Frankl

I recently read about a pill being developed that would erase unpleasant memories, kind of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind-ish. Of course I was appalled. It's bad enough the American public is seduced by quick fixes to deal with many physical ailments that a simple change in diet and exercise, a reduction in stress, self-love and a little mind/body/spirit elbow grease would take care of. Now they want to get rid of negative memories?!?! We're already a society who over-eats, over-drinks/drugs, over-sexes, over-technologizes, over-works and over-realityshows to avoid what we're feeling!

There's a saying that many athletic coaches and trainers use: No pain, no gain. Yes, that can certainly apply to losing 20 pounds or training for a marathon, but it applies to our inner workouts as well. As humans we like to avoid pain as much as possible, but pain can be a very useful tool if we let it. Emotional, mental, physical or spiritual/soul pain shows us where we're out of wack and where attention needs to be paid and adjustments made in order to learn and grow in any area of our life.

To the extent that you are 'asleep' is the proportion in which the Universe is going to use some big 'ole version of its alarm clock to 'wake you up' and give you a big kick in the butt to do something about it. And a kick in the butt doesn't feel too good, but we all need one now and then to propel us into action. Most of us don't want to endure prolonged suffering, so the pain forces us to take action. In other words, as I mentioned in the Well & Good.com article I was featured in, we often need to have a breakdown in order to have a breakthrough.

And remember that without pain we wouldn't know joy. When we are experiencing something akin to the 'dark night of the soul,' think of the caterpillar who thought the world was over just before it became a butterfly, and that 'it's always darkest before dawn.' Sometimes we just need to 'go there' - these are the times that are meant to test our mettle and force us to rise up like the phoenix from the ashes in order to evolve into a better version of ourselves - and who wouldn't want that?

So if you're feeling like you're about to crack, have been sleepwalking a little too long, or need someone to push you off that diving board, just Let Go, jump in, what are you waiting for? Give me a buzz and we'll find the amazing beauty in whatever type of breakdown is occurring in your life.

I Don't Feel Like It

2012-04-23T09:49:00.003-04:00

I don't feel like doing any of the things I'm supposed to do today. Work on my novel. Go to the library to do research. Post a new article or interview on my website. Monitor my social networking pages for updates. Tweet links to interesting things. Archive old emails. Revise my speaker brochure. Read a book. Slowly, I go down the list of activities that count as "work" for a children's author, until I end up at the very bottom of the list: Lie around and contemplate things.

Believe it or not, I actually do consider lying around and contemplating things part of my creative work, but there is only so much lying around a person can do before she starts to feel quite lazy.

When I was a kid, my mom occasionally allowed me to stay home from school under the guise of illness when we both knew perfectly well that I was not sick. She called the phenomenon a "mental health day," which I've since come to understand is a fairly common thing. I would stay in my pajamas, put on the television and veg.

I'm not quite sure what health benefit twelve hours of television really provides to a person, if any, but I admit I always found it more manageable to go to school the following day (no easier to get up and out the door in the morning, though) when I had taken a little break from the brain-taxing academic and social activities that filled the school day.

Today, I guess, I'd like to call in with a mental health day! I've been working crazy hours lately, trying to please my crazy boss (yes, that would be myself) and it is time for a bit of rest. Now, if I could only reach the remote control without actually getting out of bed...

Do you ever feel in need of a mental health day?

Friday Forum: Pin It!

2012-04-20T11:00:00.002-04:00

Pinterest is all the rage these days. The photo-based site lets you create inspiration boards of images and videos, and share it with your friends.

Have you tried Pinterest? What sort of inspiration boards do/would you have?

Be There For Yourself

2012-04-19T11:00:00.002-04:00

There are still spots left for TWM's Visioning Workshop this weekend! Get the details and RSVP today!

Getting In Record Keeping Shape

2012-04-18T11:00:00.001-04:00

Do you ever find your record keeping skills sorely lacking? I do at times. Every year when tax season is over, I find myself lapsing into a bit of disarray with my pay stubs and other related documentation. I don’t throw them out; I just keep them in different places. That made it a bit difficult this time around when I filed my taxes for last year. I have learned my lesson and am starting to put together my paperwork for next year, so I will not have too much running around to do the next time around.

I also have a tendency of keeping things I should have thrown out a long time ago. Sometimes, it is for sentimental reasons, or because I believe I will turn my attention to it eventually. Of course I always find myself throwing out most of these items eventually, especially when I have to replace them with new things. It helps make organization easier when I discard things I have not used for a while, and have no plan to use any time in the future. I am grateful that I do not have a hoarding issue, as I know that is a sign of more complex issues.

Record keeping, like anything else important and meaningful in our lives, takes conscious effort and action. My tendency to let things go in that department is something I am working on, so I will not be sorry in the future.

What do you want to keep order and control of in your life?

Taxed

2012-04-17T11:00:00.000-04:00

Oh, tax day. How I dread you every year. It seems that no matter how hard I try to make the process as stress-free as possible, I fail miserably. One year, I had an accountant prepare them and while I saved money, he was also unresponsive half the time and took forever to complete them. Another year, I ended up discovering a mistake at my job that affected how much I owed for state taxes. This year, I decided I would take advantage of the free time I had while I was jobless and file early. It turned out that I owed entirely too much money to pay when I had no paycheck coming in, so I never filed and said I'd wait until I had steady income. Fast forward a few months and I finally had enough money to pay what I owe, but because I live like a nomad and kept forgetting to grab my forms when I stopped at home for 5 or 10 minutes at a time, I couldn't file until the last minute. Stress, no matter what. What makes the process even worse is that, for the life of me, I can't figure out how taxes work. In the years I've been filing, I've never had consistency. I've either switched jobs or moved between counties, and I've never made the same amount. Because of this, I never know how much I should expect to owe. Now add freelance work in there for next year's return, and I don't even know how I'll make it through without a panic attack. For now, I'll just be glad this hump is over and deal with the rest tomorrow.

Longing for Visioning

2012-04-16T13:44:00.001-04:00

The TWM Visioning Workshop is coming up this weekend, but sadly, I'm going to be out of town and so I'll miss it. I missed the last one, too, and I'm bummed because I really love going to Visioning. I always get something great out of the workshop, above and beyond the fact that I just enjoy getting together with the group and making my personal collage.

I was feeling nostalgic today, so I went back and looked at some of my previous posts about my Visioning experiences. Apparently I've had a lot to say about it in the past, which only makes me miss it even more:

My favorite Visioning post
My next favorite Visioning post
Another visioning post (you can only have so many favorites)
Yet another...
What others have said about Visioning

Okay....nostalgia time is over. I will now return to my regularly scheduled program of travel and research. Sigh.

I suppose I could try to do a bit of Visioning on my own this weekend, but it just wouldn't be the same! I hope lots of you are going, and will report back about the workshop here at CHICKS ROCK!, so I can live vicariously through you.

Have you signed up for Visioning yet? If not, you're missing out! RSVP HERE

Friday Forum: Just Dreamin'

2012-04-13T11:00:00.003-04:00

Whether they have a deeper meaning or not, dreams are fascinating! Sometimes we remember them, sometimes we don't, sometimes they comfort, sometimes they terrify.

Have you ever had a vivid dream you just couldn't shake? What about a recurring dream that kept cropping up?

Link Love for 4/12

2012-04-12T12:00:00.002-04:00

Time for another fabulous round-up of great links! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Alexia Vernon is hungry to speak five sentences, and have those wishes fulfilled.

Girl w/Pen takes a look at gender reveal parties and six reasons we should dump 'em.

In Good Company wants you to remember that following up is important -- you're not bugging anybody.

Lindsey Pollak has some tips on landing an internship that are good for job-seekers to keep in mind too.

NYWSE spotlights She's the First, a campaign that's growing into a whole lot more.

That's what we've got for today. What have you been reading and writing online? Leave links in the comments!