CHILD CARE 28

2012-03-31T06:31:00.004-07:00

We Have Been Together Nearly 18 Year. He Is Black And I Am While And We Had Problems With Racial Stuff. We Are Both Quite Strong Characters. There Wee Awful Family Difficulties But We Came Though All That And Then All The Ordinary Relationship Problems And The Nthe Fertility Thing Hit Us. After Tubal Surgery I Said, It’s Not Fair On You I Cannot Have Kids, You Can Get Divorced And Find Someone Who Is Fertile. And He Said, I Didn’t Marry You Just For Children. If They Are Part Of The Package Fine, But If They Are Not Then That If Fine Too. I Think It Does Bring You Closer Together In A Roundabout Way.

Despite The Aura Of High Tech Medical Intervention Which Surrounds Ivf, Most Of The Drugs Are In Fact Self Administered By The Woman, Either At Home Or At Work. In Both Cases She Is Likely To Be Very Isolated. At Home She May Be On Her Own, At Work She May Feel That She Cannot Confide In Colleagues. Either Way It Menas That Often She Is Left To Deal With The Stress Alone Sometimes In Quite Difficult Circumstance.

If I Had A Query While I Was At Work It Meant Phoning The Hospital And Leaving A Message On The Answer Phone And They Would Ring Back. I Share An Office, And Although My Boss Knew About The Treatment I Didn’t Want It To Become I Talking A Point, Especially As I Did Not Get On Particularly Well With The Other Woman In My Office. The Different Stage Of Ivf Produce Quite Different Emoting Some Are Stressful, Other Can Be Positive. Almost Universally, Embryo Transfer Is The Most Positive Stage Of Treatment For Both Men And Women, With Couple Often In A Celebratory Mood, Frequently Regarding The Embryos As Miniature Babies. Equally, The Most Stressful Period For Most Women Is The Two Week Wait After Embryo Transfer To See If Implantation Takes Place And The Treatment Is Going To Work. Subsequent Failure Is, Not Surprise The Most Depressing Stage, Akin To The Experience Of Miscarriage, And Often Requiring A Period Of Mourning.

There Are Ways That Couples Can Offset The Stress. But Everyone Will Respond Differently, So There Are No Instant Or Even Complete Remedies , And No Right Or Wrong Answers. Advance Warning Of Potential Problem Areas Is At Least A First Step Towards Trying To Find A Way Forward. Here Are Some Precautions To Avoid The Biggest Emotional Stumbling Blocks.

People Undertaking Ivf Have To Read A Fine Line Between Optimism And Pessimism. Many Couples Are Over Optimistic About Their Chance, Sometimes Because They Lack Accurate Information About Success Rates. Carefully Presented Statistics May Attract Patients By Holding Out The Prospect Of Success But They May Not Tell The Couple Much About Their Individual Chance. Instead, They May Encourage A False Optimism Which Makes Failure Even Harder To Cope With. This Can Be Aggravated If Doctors Make Glib Remarks Which May Be Well Meant But Can Be Completely Misinterpreted. We’ll Have Pregnant By Christmas May Be Intended As A General From Of Encouragements To A Depressed Woman, But If Can Be Taken Literally And Lead To Even Greater Disappointment. Sometimes The Problems Lies In The Designer Babies Type Which Gives The Impression That You Have Only To Hand Over The Cash To Get The Much Longed For Baby. Sometimes, It Lies In The Couples Unwillingness To Hear Bad News. People Can Be Very Selective About What They Hear, And It Can Be Hard To Focus On The Prospects Of Treatment Not Working. It’s One Reason That Some Consultants Say They Always Like To Talk To Couple If One Person Is Not In Position To Absorb The Information, The Other One May.