Child of Divorce/Child of God

Seeing with eyes of love

2011-10-20T00:13:00.000-04:00

"Some people don't take their vows seriously," Donnie said. "This woman did." See more here.

Hello from a long lost friend

2011-10-19T23:11:00.001-04:00

Dear blog friends, this has been mostly a static blog for some time now since I entered law school last year. I greatly appreciate all of you who are still reading (wow, there are a lot of you!) and those of you who have emailed me with comments and questions. Keep them coming!

Child of Divorce, Child of God is now available on WORDSearch and on the Kindle. The print edition is going out of print, so the electronic versions may be your best option if you cannot find a print copy in a bookstore or online book retailer.

More accessible than ever

2010-01-29T13:03:00.003-05:00

Child of Divorce, Child of God is now available on Read How You Want, an online bookstore that provides customized large-print editions for people with visual impairment.

Blowing into the Windy City

2010-01-07T14:28:00.003-05:00

If you're in the Chicago area, you can hear me, live, on the radio this coming Monday, January 11, at 11 a.m. Central time, on WMBI 90.1FM. Or listen online at their web site. I'll be talking with host Nancy Turner about my book, Child of Divorce, Child of God: A Journey of Hope and Healing.

Upcoming engagements

2009-10-19T12:58:00.002-04:00

Beginning on Saturday, October 24, you can listen to me on Phyllis Wallace's Woman to Woman program on www.womantowomanradio.com
Sunday, October 25 I'll be speaking to a group of divorced parents at Gateway Baptist Church in Columbia, South Carolina
On December 12, you can listen to me at 8pm London time (3pm Eastern time in the US) on www.twr.uk.org. The interview will be available in the show archives after it airs.

Time for some straight talk

2009-07-14T13:19:00.002-04:00

Time magazine has a good article on the state of the American family, including the devastating effects of divorce on children. Two snippets:

a lasting covenant between a man and a woman can be a vehicle for the nurture and protection of each other, the one reliable shelter in an uncaring world —or it can be a matchless tool for the infliction of suffering on the people you supposedly love above all others, most of all on your children...

...is marriage an institution that still hews to its old intention and function — to raise the next generation, to protect and teach it, to instill in it the habits of conduct and character that will ensure the generation's own safe passage into adulthood? Think of it this way: the current generation of children, the one watching commitments between adults snap like dry twigs and observing parents who simply can't be bothered to marry each other and who hence drift in and out of their children's lives — that's the generation who will be taking care of us when we are old.

Jon & Kate + 8 children of divorce

2009-06-23T14:35:00.002-04:00

Diane Singer, one of my fellow bloggers at The Point has weighed in on the reality show that will apparently follow 8 new children of divorce:

Though I have seen only a few of the episodes, I find the news of the Gosselins' impending divorce a cause to grieve -- for these children and for this couple, who seem to think wealth and fame are more important than marriage and family. How I wish Jon and Kate would turn off the cameras, get into marriage counseling, and -- for the sake of their eight children -- act like adults rather than glory hounds.

What has to be done

2009-06-11T12:26:00.003-04:00

Now, this is a poster child for a child of divorce. Ronetta Alexander managed to run track, get a doctorate in pharmacology, and raise her teenage sister. While "Alexander's friends marvel at her maturity and self-reliance," Ronetta told The State newspaper, "I just thought, it's life. To me, it's life."

Psychobabble child of divorce

2009-06-08T11:28:00.003-04:00

The Houston Chronicle did an article recently (which appears to no longer be available online) on John Bradshaw, a popular self-help guru who coined the term "inner child" and, according to the Chronicle, "brought talk of dysfunctional families into the mainstream."

Interestingly, Bradshaw, who is now 75 years old, was a teenage child of divorce.

Why am I not surprised that a child of divorce blossomed in the SELF-help industry?

Dear Abby....

2009-06-08T11:07:00.002-04:00

...please tell parents not to be hateful toward their children during a divorce. Honestly, what made this mom think this was EVER appropriate to share with her daughter? Good grief.

Your chance to be a book reviewer

2009-06-08T10:37:00.002-04:00

USA Today has a new blog discussing books about faith. I'd love it if someone would submit a review of Child of Divorce, Child of God. Read more about the blog and how to submit reviews here.

I see you, CIU

2009-06-02T14:24:00.002-04:00

I had the fantastic opportunity to talk this morning with grad students who are studying to be counselors at Columbia International University. We spent an hour talking about children of divorce and had some great discussion.

If you would like me to come speak at your event, contact me at steakley7 at yahoo dot com.

Say cheese

2009-04-15T09:25:00.000-04:00

"people who frown in photos are five times more likely to get a divorce than people who smile."

Online with the Christophers

2009-02-12T13:49:00.002-05:00

You can hear the audio of my interview with Tony Rossi of The Christophers on their web site here.

Talk amongst yourselves

2009-02-12T13:27:00.002-05:00

If you would like a .pdf file of chapter-by-chapter discussion questions for individual or group study drawn from Child of Divorce, Child of God, please contact me by email at steakley7 at yahoo dot com. The questions are written to the adult child of divorced parents and are designed to help you begin to apply the verses and thoughts shared in each chapter to your own life.

Coming to a bookstore near you...

2009-02-12T13:24:00.002-05:00

I've just received word that Child of Divorce, Child of God is going into a second printing here in the U.S.

In related news, the Korean arm of InterVarsity Press has picked up Child of Divorce, Child of God and will be translating the book for publication in Korean. I'm told that process can take up to two years, but I'm grateful that our Korean friends will get to read the book in their own language.

Letting the (basketball) courts decide

2009-01-28T09:55:00.003-05:00

I love this story on CNN's web site. This high school basketball coach in northern Ireland has formed a team of kids from the two sides of the religious and political spectrum, something of a miracle in a land that has seen decades of violence over those issues. What's even more inspiring, though, is that the kids on his team are all from broken homes.

These kids have all experienced conflict that could not be resolved--the conflict between their parents--but now they're being shown that perhaps even bigger conflicts can be resolved. What an amazing life lesson for them. Kudos to the coach and let's hope these guys can keep playing in peace and show their countrymen that our differences don't have to divide us.

When the elephant leaves

2008-12-22T14:13:00.001-05:00

From a dad, writing in the Chicago Trib:

Most parents, whether together or apart, try not to have the messy circumstances of their own lives bleed into the world of their children. How many shoppers this season have said that they are determined not to let the dismal economy dampen the holiday? But sometimes truth is a missile, unavoidable. Kate remains young enough not to realize how her existence is different from that of many classmates because her mother and father do not live together. But the wheels are turning. She groups her beloved stuffed animals in family units. There must always be a mother and a father and a baby. That view of what is "normal" is bound to change. At some point, one of those elephants is going to take a powder.

Newsweek on divorce

2008-12-22T14:09:00.003-05:00

Newsweek has a good article on the challenges of post-divorce parenting from the parent's perspective, along with a video featuring a 14-year-old girl talking about her daily life shuttling between two parents.

Star 88.3 interview

2008-12-22T13:55:00.001-05:00

Here's a link to an interview I did with Melissa Montana on Star 88.3 out of Missouri. And here is part two of the interview.

Playing the trump card

2008-12-22T13:47:00.003-05:00

From an article about Child of Divorce, Child of God on the Christian Grandparenting Network web site:

If you have ever played a card game involving the use of a "trump" card or suit, you know the frustration of playing what you think is a winning hand only to have it trumped by someone else. Now is the time for Christians to play our "trump card" -- our belief in an all powerful and loving God...As grandparents, we know all about the ravages of divorce, even as Christians. If you are living with the reality of divorce in your family, this is a place where "intentionality" is crucial. We are in a unique position to help our grandchildren of divorce find healing and hope. But it means we must build a solid framework of truth about the God who IS, and that He really does care about the burdens and wounds they bear.

BreakPoint on Child of Divorce

2008-12-05T09:56:00.001-05:00

Today's BreakPoint commentary features Child of Divorce, Child of God. You can read the transcript or listen online here.

Time for Hope

2008-11-30T15:46:00.002-05:00

Beginning this week, you can see a taped television interview I did with Dr. Freda Crews on her program titled Time for Hope. The program will be available on the Time for Hope web site, and you can click your state on this map to see when the program will air on television near you.

Divorce in WorldView

2008-11-30T15:43:00.002-05:00

BreakPoint WorldView magazine is running an excerpt from Child of Divorce, Child of God. You can subscribe online for free and get links to a number of reprinted and original articles on a variety of topics from a decidedly Christian viewpoint.

Crosswalk excerpt

2008-11-30T15:36:00.001-05:00

Crosswalk.com is running an excerpt from Child of Divorce, Child of God on their web site. Check it out here. And while you're there, leave a comment to let them (and me) know what you think.