Child Psych 101

I'm back

2016-09-03T15:49:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been three years since I have written. A lot of things have happened since then. Life has happened. I am finally to that point where I have time to write again. This blog is one of my favorites. Since the last time I posted on this site, I have started back at school. I am working on my Masters of arts in counseling. I am taking a class right now called Theories 1. It is not how it sounds. This class does not talk about the theories of psychology like it states. This class talks about how to interview your clients. How to talk to a client during session. For the assignments in this class we have to write a 15 page paper every week on our own thoughts about the class discussion, the book chapters that we read and some articles that we read. I will be posting my papers of my own thoughts. Have fun reading and I will try to stay more up to date this time.

A Life Gone Too Soon

2013-10-29T13:21:00.001-07:00

I found out earlier this week that a girl, who lives in my town, who some of my youth from church know and who some of my family know committed suicide because of depression. I do not personally know this girl. I'm not going to use her name, pictures or anything about her life story because I do not know her and because I do not have permission from the family to use these things!

Instead, I will talk about the impact that depression does have on people and how important it is that it gets recognized as a disease! As a daughter, a depression survivor, mom of two little girls of my own, a psychology major, counselor and therapist I would like to take the time talk about depression.

Family and friends can say, 'she was depressed.' 'She was sad.' She was angry.' But NOBODY, I mean nobody but her can know what she was going through. It doesn't matter how many people she talked to about it or how much medication she was on, nothing is going to help unless she wants/makes it change.

I'm not going to sit here and say that I know exactly how she feels or I know exactly what she went through because even though I did go through the same feelings, actions & medication that she did, everyone's depression is different.

You might think, 'only if I would have talked to someone or took the medication properly or seen a psychologist things would be different.' It doesn't work that way. It doesn't matter how many people you talk to or how much medication you take for your depression or anxiety, it had to be you that changes.

Nine out of ten times it is your friends, family or something that's going on in YOUR life that's making you depressed, angry, sad, mad or hurt. YOU have to be the one that changes. You have to be the one to turn your back on all the negative that's going on in your life and you will feel 10x better! That doesn't mean it's going to be a quick fix. It just means that maybe you need to take a step back and realize you could be happier without all this pain. It's not going to take hours or days, it will take months or years.

People with depression and suicidal thoughts tend to bottle it up until it's too late. Learn to recognize the signs of depression.

-Feelings of worthlessness

-feeling that you don't belong

-Tired

-Loss of interest in activities that you used to love

-being sad all the time

These are just a few. These are the ones you will notice the quickest. Surround yourself with loved ones. Surround this person with love and desire and show them that they are not alone.

You know, we all say "Oh, I'm so depressed today. Just got so much going on." Or "It's such a depressing day. I couldn't get to the Y today." It doesn't matter what context the word 'depression' is in, it's still a serious disease and we need to take it seriously.

My prayers go out to this girl's family and friends. If you need anyone to talk to you can email me at arweyer@gmail.com or leave a comment.

Adolescent Psychology

2013-09-10T13:05:00.001-07:00

I was recently thinking about getting my Masters in Child Psychology and working with kids that have mental disabilities, ADHD, Autism. But recently I have been thinking about teens more and everything they have to go through to fit in. I am thinking of getting my masters in adolescent Psychology.

Adolescent psychology is the study of teens. Becoming an adolescent psychologist means that I will be working with teens between the ages of 13 & 19. I will be helping them with their feelings. Depression, PTSD, anorexia, bulimia, bipolar, etc.

While there is always a need for child psychologists, I think I would benefit from adolescents a little better.

Smoking while Pregnant

2012-08-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about this subject for a couple of weeks now. Every where I go, it seems like all I see is pregnant women or girls. I see them light up a cigarette as if it is candy. It is usually the people who are first time parents and think it will not happen to them because it is their first child or parents who have multiple children and have smoked in the past with their children and says, oh it will not happen to me. It happens to everybody, the signs may not show up until the child is older. I know this is a touchy subject for both pregnant and not pregnant mothers and non mothers for that fact. I know that it's not that these mothers do not care, well, maybe some of them really don't care, but that is pretty sad! Anyway, These mothers are usually not well educated on these facts. Many of them really do not realize the damage they are doing to their babies.

Some facts about smoking while pregnant that I found from American Pregnancy Association.

When you smoke, your baby smokes! The poisons that you inhale, carbon monoxide, nicotine, lead, and arsenic can harm your baby. These poisons get into the placenta and this causes your baby to lose oxygen.
Preterm labor, DEATH, and low birth weight can be caused by smoking while pregnant. Your baby can weigh too little and have health problems, even mental problems through out his/her life. Or worse, your baby could be DEAD!
Smoking during pregnancy could cause physical growth problems, learning disabilities, and lung problems.
The baby can get more pneumonia and bronchitis through out his/her life.
Your baby does not receive the oxygen or nutrients that he/she needs to survive.

Some people think the risks are not that bad because they know people who have smoked during pregnancy and their baby was just fine. It doesn't always show up at birth. These babies will have long term affects. ADHD, lung problems as they grow up, behavioral problems, and learning disorders.

I know it is easy for me, as a non smoker to say that you cannot or are not supposed to smoke while pregnant because I have never had to go through the steps or pain that it takes to stop. But, you are having a baby, THE most precious thing in the world (to most people) so this should be cause enough to make you quit smoking. You don't necessarily have to quit smoking, okay, you do for 9 months. But remember, your baby can get second hand smoke, or even third hand smoke and can acquire cancer, lung problems, sickness and ear infections through out his/her life.

Here are some tips to help you stop smoking while pregnant... Make a list of some of the benefits...your baby should be on the top of that list.

Some benefits for your baby should be...

Lowers the risk of your baby being born underweight or too early. Most people don't see this is a problem and those people are the ones who are not very educated on the subject. Low birth weight or underweight means that the baby may not survive because there was not enough oxygen to the baby and may have to be put on oxygen in the hospital for several days, weeks or even months and even then the survival rate is not good.
By quitting, you will know that your baby will receive the proper nutrients and oxygen.
Lowers the risk of your baby having health problems
Increases the chance that your baby will go home with you from the hospital

Have a strong support system. Keep your mouth and hands busy, chew gum, take up knitting. Ask your doctor for resources.

Helping Your Kids with Homework

2012-07-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

Now that Summer is ending and school is starting it's time for homework for the kiddos and not so young kiddos. ;)

So, with the "homework" season coming. I would like to give you some advice on helping your children with homework. How to be organized and make it fun for them.

Most kids will say that they may not have any homework, but if you set up a daily routine with them then they are more likely to be honest with you and want to do their homework.

-Don't have your child do homework right away when they get home. They have had 7+ hours of school already and might be worn out, more likely to lie about homework or slack off on homework if done right away.
-A good time to do homework is after supper and after bath time. By this time school is not in their head any more and are more likely to want to learn again.
-This would be a good time to ask them (or check their bag) for homework.

A couple of ideas for homework time...
-Find a quiet, calm, cool (as in cold), comfortable room for the child to work in. The child is more likely to work harder and concentrate better if he/she are comfortable when they are working.
-Make sure you know what they are working on. Keep checking on them to make sure they stay focused and on track.
-Make sure they ask you for help on problems they may have. This helps them not get frustrated and stay on track.
-Work on one assignment at a time. The child may be overwhelmed if he/she knows how much they have to do.
-It is okay to tell them what they are doing wrong. It makes the child work harder and except criticism. Also, make sure you give positive feedback as well!

Hope these points help. It is also important to find a routine and stick to it.

Keeping Kids Entertained in Summer

2012-07-26T19:50:00.001-07:00

Now that school is out and Summer is here, the kids still need to get their "education." I have come up with a plan for the kids to keep them entertained and still learning.

The kids still do the calendar every morning.
This teaches them numbers, days of the week, weather, colors, and words.

The kids have to read for 20 minutes every day.
Keira finds a quiet place (usually her room) and reads
a couple of books by herself (I try and pick out a book that she
has never read before because she has to tell me what happened
in the book, so I know she actually read it. )

Aden and Taygen will sit on the couch between me while I read to them.
We are planning on going to the library every week to get new books.

The kids have to do their work books for at least 30 minutes each day.
Keira has a kindergarten and 1st grade book that she does,
(she will usually get bored with the kindergarten one within
10 minutes and go right to the 1st grade book).
Aden has a preschool and kindergarten book that he does.

Taygen and I color. While the other kids do their workbooks,
Taygen and I will color. In doing this, she learns her colors,
control, patience, what to color certain objects; example,
grass is green, clouds are white, sky is blue, trees are green, etc.,
communication; please pass the green color.
When she wants a color, I will lay 3 or 4 colors out and
she has to pick it out; for example, if she needs green..
I lay out green, white, blue and black and she has to pick out the green one.

In between these activities we will go outside and play on the swings and slides.
Just so they don't get bored, lose focus or lose interest. I also love taking the kids swimming.
It gives them an opportunity to get plenty of exercise and play with other kids their ages.

Just for something fun for the kids, we will have a scavenger
hunt around the house. Example; Find 4 red objects, find 5 circles, etc.
It's pretty fun and it's pretty interesting what the kids come up with,
some things that you may not think of. Aden had to find 3 circles one
time and he showed me the door handles. Pretty clever!
I would have never thought of that. It's just something that you see every day,
so you really don't think of them as circles, even though they are.
You never know what you will learn from your kids each day!

These activities are fun for the kids and myself.
It definitely keeps them active, but also ready for school.
These activities do not 'weigh' down the Summer time fun and still keeps
school fresh in their minds. A lot of kids lose focus in the Summer time,
but isn't that what Summer is for, to get school off your mind....mmm not really.
Kids still need to learn whether it is in a school setting or a home setting.

Always try to find ways to keep your kids educated, whether it is going to a park;
pointing out trees, animals, the swing goes up and down, you go down a slide,
pointing out that the grass is green, etc... You can make learning fun!

Toys for Every Age

2012-01-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

Many people think differently when they shop for toys for their kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, or a friends child. Some might buy blocks, balls, trucks, etc. Most people never think about the appropriate toys for the ages of the children. In this article, I will tell you about some age appropriate "smart" toys for every age.

Babies

Mobiles- These stimulate vision and head movement. The crib mobiles can also stimulate and develop attention span.
Ring Stacks- Babies learn about sizes, shapes, colors, and numbers with these.
Mirrors- Babies become aware of themselves and develop self recognition.
Push-Pull toys- This helps with balance, large muscle strength, walking, and gets them ready to explore the world later in life.

Toddlers

Balls-Encourages hand-eye coordination, gross motor skills and dexterity.
Shape sorting toys-Encourages problem solving skills.
Mechanical Toys-Busy toys with knobs, handles and buttons encourages hand-eye coordination, fine motor skills, problem solving and cause and effect.
Role Play toys- Encourages pretend play, and helps express social and emotional development by expressing emotions to do something.

Preschoolers

Arts and Crafts-Encourages creativity and self esteem
Blocks and construction sets-Encourages problem solving skills and hand eye coordination. Helps use their imagination and build self esteem
Puzzles-Helps with coordination, dexterity, spatial relationships, and logical thinking
Pretend Play-Identify gender specific rolls as boys dress up as cops or firefighters while girls dress up as nurses or princesses.

Big Kids

Jump Rope-Kids learn how to get along with others and take turns. Encourages problem solving and large motor skills.
Card and board games-Encourages strategy, taking turns, rules, and fair play. Good sportsmanship skills
Musical instruments- Helps build attention skills, builds fine motor skills and encourages listening.
Science Toys-Promote discovery, problem solving, improves math skills, and science skills and develops imagination

Source

Too Much T.V

2012-01-25T20:31:00.000-08:00

Children under 2 should not have a "favorite show" because children under 2 should not watch any kind of television. Under the age of 2 is considered the most important time for brain development. This is the time when children need to interact with parents, siblings, play and explore and this determines whether or not the child will develop good physical activities, social development, healthy habits and whether or not the child will be behind academically or socially.

If all a child does is sit and watch television then they will not have any interaction and this will threaten their developmental status. In moderation, T.V. can be a good entertainer and educator. Children who spend more than 2 hours a day watching television are more likely overweight, show aggressive behavior, always afraid and can promote bad behavior.

If you are going to allow your children to watch television, screen the T.V. make sure you monitor what they watch and make sure you are not using the television as an escape for the kids to sit in front of while you do your things!

Source

Ways to Stop Yelling

2011-11-20T07:00:00.000-08:00

If you are having "power" struggles with your children or yelling matches. These easy steps will help you set up strategies to get your child to listen to you and make your life and your child's life easier on both of you.

Always talk eye-to-eye or face-to-face. If your child is in the next room and you want to talk to him/her walk in to the room, rather than yell from another room and express in words, calm words, that your child will understand that you would like to talk to him/her.
When you are talking to your child have a smile on your face. Not necessarily a 'smile' per say, but a pleasant look, not an angry or mad look. Your child is more likely to respond to you when you approach pleasantly. Even when you have to talk to your child about something bad, make sure you keep your happy face on and stay strong.
Have a daily routine. It is very important for your child to have structure in their lives. When they have a schedule or routine, they know what has to be done next and are less likely to question your actions.
Ask your child not to yell. Just tell your child if he/she yells you will walk away and go about your business. Let them know that you will do/expect the same thing. When a child does this to a parent, the parent should be able to look at the situation and realize what just happened. Realize that the parent is acting just like the child.
Walk away from the argument. This stops the fight and shows the child that you are in control.

Sometimes, it seems like nothing will work, so you yell, make your voice louder and stronger, but it only makes the situation worse.

Yelling at Your Kids Does Not Work

2011-11-18T08:00:00.000-08:00

To discipline your kids, yelling at them is not going to help. Kids tend to tune out someone with anger. The only one you are hurting by yelling is your self.

The child tends to get scared when there is yelling and usually makes the situation worse. The child doesn't respond to yelling because his/her mind goes into emotional mode in order to withstand the yelling. When your child listens to you yell, it is hard for him/her to protect themselves emotionally and listen to you at the same time, so they tend to retreat inside themselves in order to protect themselves or they will yell back out of defense.

It's hard to punish your child for yelling at you when you are yelling at them. Your child doesn't hear what you say when you are yelling and can cause emotional stress, low self-esteem, and anger problems when growing up.

Psychological Disorders

2011-10-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

Psychological disorders are patterns of behavioral or psychological symptoms that impact multiple areas of like and are known as mental disorders. Here are a list of psychological disorders.

Adjustment Disorders

These mental disorders causes emotional and behavioral symptoms. The criteria for (DSM-IV) diagnostic includes distress that is usually excessive for what would expected from the stressor and usually creates impairment in school, work or social environments. These symptoms must occur within three months of the trauma and the symptoms must last longer than six months.

Anxiety Disorders

These disorders are usually know for having excessive and abnormal fear, worry and anxiety. The types of anxiety disorders are generalized, Agoraphobia, social anxiety disorder, Phobias, panic disorders, PTSD- Post traumatic stress disorder and separation anxiety.

Cognitive Disorders

These disorders involve memory, problem solving and perception. Anxiety disorders, mood disorders and some psychotic disorders are sometimes classified as cognitive disorders. Cognitive disorders include, Alzheimer's disorder, delirium, dementia and amnesia.

Developmental Disorders

Childhood disorders are also known as developmental disorders and are usually typically diagnosed during infancy, childhood or adolescence. Some developmental disorders include, mental retardation, learning disabilities, communication disorders, autism, ADHD, conduct disorder and oppositional defiant disorder.

Dissociative Disorders

These disorders include identity and memory, they also involve a dissociation or interruption in consciousness. Some the dissociative disorders include, multiple personality disorder, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity and depersonalization.

Eating Disorders

People with eating disorders are normally concerned with weight and disruptive eating patterns that affect their lives negatively, physically and mentally. The types of eating disorders are, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and rumination disorder.

Factitious Disorders

The people with this psychological disorder usually acts as if he/she are sick, usually faking or exaggerating symptoms or self inflicting damage to their bodies. The types of this disorder are, Munchausen syndrome, munchausen syndrome by proxy, gander syndrome.

Impulse-Control Disorders

These disorders are the inability to control impulses, usually resulting in harm to oneself or to others. The types of these disorders are stealing, fire starting, hair pulling, gambling, intermittent explosive disorder, skin picking.

Source

Developmental Milestone

2011-10-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

Most people want to know what a Developmental Milestone is. This is an ability that is achieved by most children by a certain age. These milestones can involve, physical, social, emotional, cognitive and communication skills, walking, sharing with others, expressing emotions, recognizing familiar sounds and talking.

The four major categories for these developmental milestones are…

Physical
These include large motor skills and fine motor skills. The large motor skills include sitting up, standing, crawling and walking are are usually the first to develop. Fine motor skills include grasping at a spoon, holding objects, drawing shapes and picking up small objects.

Cognitive
Cognitive is centered around the child's ability to think, learn and solve problems. When an infant responds to someone's facial expressions this is a sign of cognitive milestone.

Social and emotional
When a child understands their own emotions and other people's emotions, and can learn how to interact with other people, this is called social and emotional milestones

Communication
Language and nonverbal communication is involved in this milestone.

Every parent must remember that each child is unique and that each child's milestone will develop on it's own time, even though these milestones typically take place during a certain time in the child's life. These developmental abilities tend to build on each other and will come more easily to the child if it is practiced.

A child generally begins to walk anytime between the ages of 9 and 15 months, just because the child is walking at 11 months doesn't mean that another child is behind if he/she is not walking at 12 months. So, anytime between 9-15 months is normal. On the other hand, if a child is over 15 months and still cannot walk, the parents might consider consulting their child's primary care provider or a developmental specialist to determine if some type of developmental issue is present.

Source

Developmental Psychology and Issues

2011-10-07T11:54:00.000-07:00

Nature vs. Nuture

One of the oldest issues in both philosophy and psychology is the debate over the relative contributions of inheritance and the environment. But some philosophers, such as, Plato and Descartes support the idea that some are inborn. Some other philosophers, such as John Locke argued a belief that the mind is a blank slate at birth, with experience determining our knowledge- also know as the concept of tabula rosa.

It is an interaction between these two forces that causes development. Some of the aspects of development are biological, such as puberty. But, puberty can be affected by environmental factors such as diet and nutrition.

Early Experience vs. Later Experience

Another important consideration in developmental psychology involves the relative importance of early experiences versus those that occur later in life.

By the age of five a child's personality is completely established, according to Freud. Those who have experiences deprived or abusive childhoods might never adjust or develop normally, if this is the case. Researchers have said that influence of childhood events does not necessarily have an affect over behavior throughout the life.

Continutiy vs Discontinuity

Does change occur smoothly over time or through a series of predetermined steps? This is a third major issue in developmental psychology.

As children grow older they display more of a certain skill also known as quantity. Most theories of development fall under these three areas:

1. Sigmund Freud believed in the importance of the unconscious mind and childhood experiences, this is called Psychoanalytic theories.

2. Classical conditioning, operant conditioning and social learning are called Learning theories. These learning theories focus on how the environment impacts behavior. The individual and the environment shapes behavior.

3.The development of mental processes, skills and abilities is called cognitive theories.

Abnormal Behavior and Individual Differences

Are you worried that your child is not developing normally? The focus on individual differences in development is becoming normal. There are many guidelines for ages at which certain skills are supposed to emerge, but these guidelines can make you concerned if your child falls slightly behind the norm.

Development theories describe deficits in behavior and these are called psychoanalytic theories. Those who rely more on the environment's unique impact on the individual are called learning theories. When describing child development, psychologists look at both norms and individual differences.

Source

Divorce

2011-09-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

Many divorces include children. Most families are worried about the affects the divorce will have on the children. The parents are the most important people in the children's lives.

Children are usually frightened and confused by their parents divorce because it threats their security. The parents may turn to the child for comfort or direction. You have to let the children know that this is not their fault, how they are involved, or not involved and what will happen to them because most children often believe they have caused the conflict between their parents. A family's strength can help the children deal with the divorce.

Children often become more aggressive and uncooperative or withdrawal when reacting to divorce, parents should be alert to signs of distress in their child or children. Children can also experience low self-esteem and have problems with their own relationships.

Even though the parents will not live together, they need to remain involved with the children because children do best if they know their mother and father will still remain in their lives.
It is difficult to talk to children about divorce. Some suggestions to make it easier and less stressful to tell the children.

• Don't wait until the last minute
• Make sure you are with your spouse when you tell your child
• Keep the words simple
• Let the children know that you are sad and this is difficult for you as well
• Let the children know that this is not their fault
• Make sure they know that you will always be their parents and you both still love them
• Do not discuss with the child each other's problems with the children/child

ADHD-Signs, Treatments, Meds Part 2

2011-09-16T11:00:00.001-07:00

There are many children who are undiagnosed and many children who are too often labeled incorrectly with ADHD.

Signs

These signs must be present in more than one setting.

Six attention symptoms or 6 hyperactivity/impulsivity symptoms and they must be present before age 7.
The symptoms must not be caused by another problem and must be present for 6 months and seen in two or more settings, for example, school and home.
These symptoms need to be severe enough to cause difficulties in many settings, including relationships with peers.

An evaluation by a doctor may include

Questionnaires for parent and teacher, such as Burks or Connors
IQ testing and psychological testing of family and child
A complete exam of mental, nutritional, physical, developmental and psychosocial

Treatment
It is important to provide a partnership between the health care provider, parents, or caregivers, and the child.

Guide therapy with specific, appropriate target goals

Behavior therapy
Medication
Follow up regularly with doctor
Make sure the child does have ADHD, make sure there is no other similar symptoms, and always follow the treatment plan if treatment is not working.

Behavioral treatments and medication seems to work best for children with ADHD. The most common drug used in ADHD are Psychostimulants or stimulants. Some stimulants commonly used are Adderall, Focalin, Dexedrine, Dextrostat, Vyvanse, Ritalin, Concerta, Metadate and Daytrana.

Children may have stressful feelings related to ADHD and talk therapy may help both the child and family understand and gain control. To help guide a child's behavior parents should use a reward system and punishment consequences. The child's teacher is another important resource, make sure you communicate regularly with the child's teacher. Be consistent in your daily routines, this also means limiting distractions in the child's environment. Enough sleep, healthy diet, consistent rules and reward system are also more helpful treatment tips.

Source: NCBI

ADHD-Symptoms Part 1

2011-09-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

ADHD means Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. ADHD can be a combination of inattentiveness, over activity, or impulsivity and in order to be diagnosed as ADHD these symptoms may be out of the normal range for a child's age and development.

Out of all the behavioral disorders in childhood, ADHD is the most commonly diagnosed. Three to Five percent of school aged children, mostly in boys are affected. No one really knows what causes it, we just know it may run in families. As the brain is developing, the ADHD is set early in childhood. Many other disorders can be confused with or appear to be ADHD, for example, depression, lack of sleep, learning disabilities, tic disorders, or other behavior problems, therefore, if you suspect that your child has ADHD your child should be examined by a doctor to rule out other conditions or reasons for the behavior. Children with ADHD may also have psychiatric problems, such as depression or bipolar disorder.

ADHD symptoms

Inattentiveness

Does not give close attention to details and can make mistakes in school, fails to finish school work (because it requires mental effort), or duties in the workplace
Difficulty paying attention during tasks or play
When spoken to, does not listen
Organizing tasks and activities are difficult at times
Loses tools needed for tasks or activities, such as toys, books, pencils
Forgets daily activities

Hyperactivity

Doesn't sit still in seat
May get up from his seat
May run around the room or climbs in inappropriate places
Can't play quietly
The child may talk excessively, is always on the go

Impulsivity

May blurt out talking
Can't wait his/her turn
The child may interrupt or intrude

Source

Psychology Humor

2011-09-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex." The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks. The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologist says,"very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?" The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?" The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex." "Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol and your child's name is Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go home."

Source

Child Abuse and Neglect

2011-09-10T19:16:00.000-07:00

Child Abuse

Physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse are three types of abuse. Physical abuse is when the child is involved in a non-accidental injury. Emotional abuse is when the parent always puts blame on the child or the child is rejected. Sexual abuse is when the child is used as part of any sexual act.

Neglect

Emotional neglect and physical neglect are two different types of neglect. Emotional neglect is when the child is not feeling loved, wanted, secure or worthy by the parent. Physical neglect is not having enough food or clothing, not getting medical attention, not keeping the child safe, not having heat in the winter or not providing basic needs or a safe place to live.

Source

Behavioral Warning Signs

2011-09-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

It is important to keep a good eye on their child's behavior because early childhood is a time for rapid growth and development.

It may be time to reconsider your current child care situation if your child displays sudden changes in behavior or it may be time to do something different at home if your child continues to show these behavior problems. Here are a couple warning signs to watch for...

Excessive clinging- If your child has never been clingy before and all of a sudden is, there may be a sign of a problem. It's useful to note when and where this behavior takes place, for example, does your child become clingy before or after the sitter this may be a sign that the child is not receiving the attention he or she needs from the sitter, therefore additional attention is needed from you at this time.
Cries non stop- A serious problem is when the child will not stop crying when left with a baby sitter/caregiver. You have to ask your self does my child cry in response when I leave all the time or just in response to a certain sitter?
Frequent accidents-Poor supervision or physical abuse might be a sign of a pattern of accidents.
Not comfortable communicating- Your child should feel the same way about their caregiver as they do about you, being able to communicate thoughts, concerns, feelings and problems. If your child cannot communicate with the sitter in this way this may be a sign that he/she is not receiving the emotional support and guidance he/she needs.
Disobedient or defiant- Another problem that may show a sign of underlying problems with the sitter may be sudden displays of uncharacteristic disobedience or defiant behavior. It is important to develop a behavior plan with your child's caregiver in order to maintain stability and consistency.
Noticeable behavior change-The most alarming warning signs are sudden or dramatic changes in behavior. Look into the situation immediately if you notice a change in your child's behavior or sleeping patterns.

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Absent Father

2011-09-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

Whether a father is absent physically or emotionally it causes a child to lack understanding of how the world works, losing trust in others and them selves, become lost, insecure, lack confidence, the child doesn't see a meaningful future, they lack life and feel confused all because their father being unconscious in the child's life.

Some children are crippled emotionally and socially, so therefore, lives their lives dysfunctional and stuck. When most children grow up without their father or "lack" of the father there are dark roots and the child may have resentment and a secret of anger and victimization. Yet, there are some kids who grow up hold jobs, get married and have children because they are able to keep up a surface of appearance of functionality. Sometimes the anger gets lost because it is hard to feel anger toward someone who was never there and they do nothing.

Alcoholism, drug addiction, obesity, smoking, drug use, video games, gambling, allow them to feel filled when they really feel empty, which means they feel nothing.

Argumentativeness prevents the child from accepting the truth, which means they have accepted nothing.

Being late means they don't have to wait, so therefore they wait for nothing.

They do not respect them selves, revealing clothing, outrageous makeup, tattoos, piercings, etc. So, therefore they respect nothing.

They discover nothing if they have a learning disorder because it prevents them from discovering a world that seems hidden from them.

They may forget things and prevents them from engaging with everyday life, this is called mental confusion, which, makes them engage with nothing.

Procrastination prevents them from negotiating in a world they don't know yet, so they accomplish nothing.

Children act in sexual preoccupation, self created mental fantasies, pornography, lust or sexual acts, prevents them from experiencing emotional intimacy, therefore they are intimate with nothing.

They trust nothing because suspiciousness prevents them from having trust in a world that they fear.

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Anger

2011-09-04T11:00:00.000-07:00

I will make a clear difference between anger, feeling hurt and irritated. When someone gets in our of our needs or desires we all feel a little hurt or irritated at times. Most people will say that anger is an emotion, but it is not an emotion. Anger refers to the desire to get even with or take revenge on whoever is causing the hurt.

When someone angers you your adrenaline starts pumping, your heart rate jumps, your blood pressure rises, these are immediate fight or flight physiological responses to a perceived threat. As a psychological reaction to those immediate physiological responses the rage and anger overrun your mind. Then you fall into a desire to revenge. You scream a curse, give a dirty look, and make threats. And there is your anger. Anger is the wish for harm or bad things to happen to the person who has obstructed you. You want to hurt the person in the same way they hurt you, so the psychological process is clear and simple.

If something like a simple traffic jam leaves you feeling tense or frustrated, what do you do? You find something petty out of place at home and then blow up, just to take the frustration out on your family or you are at a bar and find a way for someone to offend you so you can get into a fight. You do this because you believe in your mind that these people have somehow hurt you and deserve to suffer for it, therefore angry can be expressed indirectly.

Anger may be a natural or commonly occurring social reaction to hurt and insult and there is more to anger than meets the eye. Although it is natural, it doesn't mean that it is good for us! Poisons are also natural and are also deadly! There are many other ways to cope with hurt and insult than with anger. The reason I brought up poison, is because anger is like poison, because it degrades the quality of your own life as much as it hurts the life of another person.

To acknowledge that you feel hurt is a healthy response to feelings of hurt and insult. Easier said than done. When you get angry you don't have time to feel your inner vulnerability and hurt, you just want to feel the power and get revenge. Anger just shows weakness and is a big puff of smoke, an emotional fraud, it makes you seal off your own emotional pain.

Unconscious anger, you suppress the awareness of your honest inner experiences, because you feel hurt by someone close to your or out of fear that your immediate impulse to hurt that person will cause you to lose that person's love. You can convince yourself that everything is fine and peaceful and the hurt becomes anger. You remain hurt while the desire to hurt the other person gets pushed into your unconscious where it stems into resentment. When you deny that you have anything to feel hurt about you are just deceiving yourself and your relationship. Anger turned inwards is often called depression.

It is human to have hurt feelings in response to insult. Child abuse, domestic violence, drug addictions, hatred and prejudice can all be caused by these anger issues never becoming recognized. The people who usually let people walk all over them, rather than admitting that they feel hurt about anything usually have a lot of resentment and dirt underneath their "welcome" mat (that would be me).

Follow the hurt back into its roots in the past to all those times and circumstances that you felt the same way is another step in making a healthy response. Any insults in the present is magnified by similar insults from the past. If you don't recognize old insults from the past only makes the current insult seem larger.

The last healthy response is to avoid negative responses to feelings of hurt and insult.

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Defiant, Disrespectful Children

2011-09-03T11:00:00.000-07:00

It can make you feel frustrated to deal with a defiant and disrespectful child. You may feel that there is nothing you can do to turn your child's behavior around and you may feel like giving up. There are ways to deal with your defiant/disrespectful child.

Defiant children can ruin your marriage, cause stress and have a negative influence on younger siblings. It is probably time to get some outside help if you have tried different strategies yourself. The child's behavior will just get worse over time.

A counselor or therapist will try to get to the cause of the behavior and help you to strengthen your relationship and build some respect. A defiant child will often not talk to strangers, if he/she knows that the parents are involved somehow. The costs can add up quickly because it may take years to resolve the issues and although the kid may refuse the therapy, it is still important for him/her to be at the sessions. If parents need drastic measures, they usually choose military schools or boot camps. It is better for you to solve it yourself than send them away because they will just resent you later.

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Child Psychologist

2011-09-01T21:11:00.000-07:00

A child psychologist can counsel clients in therapeutic situations or do research to explore giftedness and developmental disabilities in the different aspects of child psychology.

Some of the things a child psychologist may do are....

Love to diagnose or treat learning and developmental disabilities
Manage behavioral issues by working with the clients
Giving psychological tests, IQ, ADHD, school tests
Scientific research about childhood development
The psychologist works with a health care team to come up with a treatment for the client

Schools, courts, hospitals or mental health clinics is where child psychologists may be employed. Learning disorders, counseling students, conducting assessments and working with families to cope with academic problems, disabilities, or social issues are job duties for a school psychologist. Child psychologists may also work with clients who have gotten in trouble with the criminal justice system, they may also help prepare testify in court or help with child custody disputes. Those with psychological illnesses are who the child psychologists works with in the hospitals or private mental health offices. Child psychologists who work in hospitals evaluate clients, administer psychologist tests, conduct therapy sessions and diagnose mental disorders.

To become a child psychologist

Most people in the child psychology field would prefer to have a doctoral rather than a masters degree. Clinical or counseling psychology are what most people going into the psychology field prefer, they also choose to earn a Ph.D or Psy.D degree. More people are more interested in professional practice rather than research, says The American Psychological Association. In order to become a child psychologist, they must complete a supervised clinical internship and pass state and national tests.

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Single Parenting

2011-08-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

Single parenting.... means that you have to function as both mom and dad. I say this to inspire both those who are alone. It is challenging, but there are many examples of children who have been raised by mom or dad. In my article, I will explore fine children being raised by mom or dad and offer some important tips.

Children at a higher risk of behavior and social skills are children of divorce. The stress and trauma affected by the break up can cause behavioral problems associated with adjustment. The risks decrease when the parents can still come together as a team and support the best interests of the child/children.

We can't assume because we say single parenting that these children are children of divorce. Many single parents have never been married or survived the death of a loved one. Isolation, lack of support, financial struggles and emotional overwhelm can still be suffered by parents that are not divorced but have been impacted by a death. The child absorbs and mirrors the adult's feelings, for example, if the adult/parent is constantly stressed or overwhelmed, the child will feel this also.

To help you manage your stress, you need to get a support group, friends or relatives. Be relaxed, if you are not relaxed, your child cannot be relaxed. Start your own support group to talk about your experiences if there is not one in your area. If there is something that you need to get done or just some time on your own, offer to watch each others' children because it is important that you get some alone time, away from your child and job.

Having a role models of both genders for every child, this means finding a mentor. The mentors could be a coach, teacher, someone from a group, or a church. Before letting this mentor around your child, you need to know the person. The importance of a mentor of your child's gender is not to be underestimated
Most adults tend to be goal oriented, while most children are process orientated. Which means be an active participant in your child's growing awareness and what interests your child. You must allow your self to become process oriented in order to play with her or engage in her interests, engage your child in activities he/she loves. When you go beyond meeting the child's physical and emotional needs, this is how single parents creates that bond.

Make bonds with your child by connection and communication. During the tough and mundane moments, your child will need someone to be as a guide. Connecting and communicating with your child not only energizes you but it feels good and will meet your child's needs, it is difficult to do this as a single parent because you are their sole provider, but with married parents you have the support of the other parent when the other one is unavailable.

To create a healthy, loving relationship with your child try to incorporate these important tips in your child's life. Single parenting can be rewarding, fulfilling, and tough. The future of your child's physical, emotional and spiritual well-being depends on if you use the tips or not.

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Fitting in at school

2011-08-29T16:13:00.000-07:00

Isolation from not being invited to play games or other age appropriate kid activities is a form of bullying, and social withdrawal, low self-esteem and even diminished academic achievement can result if adult intervention does not take place.

Children who are excluded from peers or don't have friends at child care or school could suffer lasting psychological damage. Kids may not necessarily tell their parents or other adults. Not sitting with others at a table, being excluded from games or social times such as recess or outdoor play, or not having anyone in a class or group who interacts with them in any way can be peer rejection. You notice that your child seems isolated on the playground, in the classroom, he often sits by himself. At home, he says he has no friends, or that he doesn't like school. When he's with family or the boy next door who he knows well, he's fine. And you have already ruled out serious disorders, such as autism or other conditions that affect child social development.

Socially inhibited is what experts call these kind of children. With shy children, behaviors may include trouble fitting in or even talking to others. Making excuses like, "He's just shy," doesn't solve anything. Excessive shyness can lead to isolation, intimidation and trouble with learning. Shy children can often be overlooked because they do not have a learning disability or require formal mental health services. Parents often have limited success trying to figure out what to do.

Possible social shyness is a sign. In early childhood, it is normal for a child to play alone next to another child playing alone, this is called "parallel play." By kindergarten children should be interacting with playmates fairly easily.

Children feel more outgoing when they have friends and family using early socializing. A cold, rejecting environment, at home or elsewhere, will have the opposite effect. Socially isolated children can spiral into a cycle of rejection through elementary school and into the teen years.

So, with this said...

What should parents/adults do if they suspect their child is the victim of social exclusion?

If parents are concerned about their child, they should take the matter up with the child's care provider, teacher or coach. Ask the teacher/care provider whether they are taking steps to make the child feel included by other children or if they have noticed the problem.
While at home, make sure your child feels loved and supported. To assist with peer assistance, ensure social skills are taught to assist with peer assistance. If the exclusion is due to any socially-unacceptable behavior or patterns, this might discourage friendships from forming.
Make sure your child gets into activities outside of daycare or school to make sure the same patters of isolation, social withdrawal or exclusion doesn't exist. To help resolve the issue, you could place your child in a different classroom setting or different teacher.
Talking to a school counselor or a child psychologist will help if needed. If you ignore the problem, it just makes it worse for the child. A child's self-esteem and ability to make/have friends will not be addressed or resolved.
To make children more successfully engage with others, you can, as a parent, volunteer or help out in your child's classroom where you can observe interactions.

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