And then everything changed…

Since 2010, I’ve had some “mystery” digestive ailment. After visiting all kinds of specialists, I was diagnosed with IBS, handed some pills, and told “Good luck! We don’t have a good treatment or cure. We don’t even know what causes it!” So, I plodded along, never knowing if what I ate was going to bring the debilitating abdominal pain and other horrendous side effects, and I was never quite able to pin down exactly what “triggered” the IBS. Then, last September, I woke up in the throes of full-blown anaphylaxis at 1:00am after my husband’s birthday dinner at a fabulous Pan-Asian restaurant. We spent the rest of the evening in the ER.

I immediately booked an appointment with an allergist. Upon listening to my medical history and asking me what I had consumed, he asked if I had been bitten by a tick in the past 2 years. I live in the woods; of course I have been bitten by ticks – several times! He said, “I bet you have the alpha-gal allergy! We’ll run comprehensive tests for all kinds of food, but the fact that you had a 6-hour delayed anaphylactic reaction makes me almost certain that’s your problem.”

And just like that, my life was turned upside down. This thing forever changed the way I eat:

Lone Star Tick

All it takes is one bite from a Lone Star Tick, and you can be suddenly allergic to all mammalian meat and associated byproducts like dairy, gelatin, etc. This little bastard can cause you to develop an allergic reaction to a carbohydrate called galactose-alpha-1,3-galactose, abbreviated to alpha-gal.

galactose-alpha-1,3-galactose

This is the first known allergy to a sugar (or carbohydrate), and it’s also the first known allergy to produce a delayed allergic reaction. In my case, the anaphylaxis appears anywhere from 4-6 hours after consuming a mammalian food product: 3-4 for dairy and 6+ hours for actual meat. This allergy was only discovered a few years ago by a scientist at the University of Virginia, so at least I’m on the cutting edge of allergies.

And, boy, does this change the way I live. I am a Southern girl; I grew up on a farm! I’m accustomed to eating bacon, pork, beef, lamb, and lots of milk and butter and cheese. I can’t have any of those things ever again! I have to carry an epipen with me at all times, and dining out is now a challenge. You cannot imagine the strange looks I get when I tell people I’m deathly allergic to those things. I usually get a raised eyebrow and, “You mean you just don’t eat them, right? You’re a vegetarian.” No, that is not what I mean. I mean I could possibly die if I eat them, so please find out if this chicken/duck/seafood/vegetable dish I’m eating is made with any mammalian product at all: butter, milk, cream, pork/beef broth or stock, rabbit, squirrel, gelatin etc! Basically, I can only consume things with feathers, scales, or shells.

Which brings me back to that shellfish allergy I thought I had. The tests for a shellfish allergy were negative, so HOORAY! On the other hand, my allergist said I am likely one of the people who are extremely sensitive to the toxins in shellfish, which is why I became violently ill when eating it as a child. If it came from a dirty environment, I’m likely to get sick. Also, I have a hard time eating shellfish now, anyway, because of the extremely negative food memories I have associated with it…

Bad Shellfish Memories…

So, this is why I haven’t posted much. I’m still trying to get a grip on this. I have to learn a bazillion ways to cook chicken and turkey. I have to learn how to cook without butter and dairy. I have to retrain my palate to actually like fucking soy milk (gag) and other dairy alternatives. I also to have watch out for hidden things and, apparently, be aware that new allergies could crop up at any moment! In the past few months, I’ve had anaphylaxis to the following:

• a vitamin for skin, hair, and nails (gelatin)
• trail mix (it had  milk powder in it)
• Advil (new tests now confirm I’m allergic to NSAIDs and can only take Tylenol)
• the adhesive on the sticky pads that put on you to monitor your heart rate in the ER
• cats (also new – never been allergic to any animal until now)
• Beano (I now eat a lot of beans, and, well – Beano is an alpha-galactosidase enzyme)

They are starting to get tired of seeing my swollen face in the ER, but probably not as tired as I am of the whole not-breathing thing. And I’m so tired of eating chicken and turkey, y’all. I just know that I’m going to find an egg in my chair one of these days. I’m going to start growing feathers, clucking, and laying eggs.

I was thrilled to run across a recipe for a Vietnamese Coffee Sundae. Ice cream, coffee, peanut brittle – what’s not to like? As a bonus, I finally found something interesting to do with those Starbuck’s Via Instant Coffee packets someone gave me last December. They certainly aren’t drinkable as regular coffee!

Vietnamese Coffee Sundae - courtesy of delish.com

INGREDIENTS:

* 1 cup(s) sugar

* 1 tablespoon(s) sugar

* 1/2 cup(s) water

* 1 cup(s) unsalted roasted peanuts

* 1/2 teaspoon(s) cinnamon

* 1 teaspoon(s) kosher salt

* 3/4 cup(s) sweetened condensed milk

* 2 tablespoon(s) instant coffee mixed with 1 1/2 teaspoons of hot water

* 1/2 cup(s) heavy cream

* 2 pint(s) vanilla ice cream (homemade is the best, but store-bought will work)

DIRECTIONS:

1.Lightly grease a baking sheet. In a small saucepan, combine 1 cup of the sugar with the water and bring to a boil. Cook over moderately high heat, undisturbed, until an amber caramel forms, about 12 minutes. Remove the saucepan from the heat and stir in the roasted peanuts, cinnamon, and salt until the peanuts are evenly coated. Scrape the caramel mixture onto the prepared baking sheet and spread in an even layer. Let stand until the brittle is hardened, about 20 minutes.

2.Break off 4 medium-size pieces of peanut brittle. Place the remaining brittle in a resealable plastic bag and roll with a rolling pin to crush the brittle into small pieces.

3.In a medium bowl, whisk the sweetened condensed milk with the dissolved instant coffee. In another medium bowl, using an electric mixer, beat the heavy cream with the remaining 1 tablespoon of sugar at high speed until softly whipped.

4.Scoop the ice cream into 4 bowls and drizzle with the milky coffee. Sprinkle with the crushed peanut brittle and top with a generous dollop of whipped cream. Garnish with the reserved pieces of peanut brittle and serve at once.

I have to say, this outfit got a fantastic reaction from the Mister. I think his jaw actually dropped and he stuttered a bit, saying I looked off-the-charts fucking HOT. Then he said I looked like the real-life version of the painting Flaming June by Leighton or a Roman Sun Goddess.

Flaming June by Frederick Leighton

Hey, I’ll take it! Not bad for a 40-something chick, right?! As a pasty white redhead, the color combo of gold and coral does wonderful things for my skin. Who needs a tan?

Humpback Whale - Maui, HI

It was peak whale-watching season in Hawaii, and the Au-Au Channel was packed with them. It was one of the most breathtaking sights I’ve ever seen, being that close to these large creatures. I was lucky enough to even see one of the males do the tale-slap on the top of the water!

Whale Tail - Maui, Hawaii

I booked my whale-watching trip through the Jacques Cousteau Ambassadors of the Environment program at our hotel, The Ritz-Carlton in Kapalua. It was fantastic. We were on a very small zodiac boat with only two other people, a marine biologist, the captain, and his first mate. Thus, we had something of a private tour.

Posting these photos makes me want to rush right back to Maui right now. Crap…

Stuart Weitzman Gemex Sandals

They are the perfect color of gold, and the crystals on them are so shiny! My crow totem approves. These will look perfect with so many dresses that I have.

Speaking of dresses, I also wanted something which has sleeves, packs easily, and is dressy enough for some of the more upscale restaurants. I like things with sleeves because I’m usually cold. While the outside temperature might be completely tropical, many places have the AC cranked up, which means I need a cardigan, jacket, or something with sleeves. Also, strappy sundresses don’t work so well on me because of the major boobage. I like some coverage so I don’t look like a low-rent hooker. Thus, I was thrilled to find this ombre green dress. Green is my color, and  I love the kimono styling!

Green Ombre Kimono-Style Dress

Now if I can just figure out what color to paint my toenails. Any suggestions? I’m having a difficult time deciding on the color.

Mai Tai Cocktail - Hawaii's Finest

Since this will be my first trip to Hawaii, I have no idea what the original Hawaiian cocktail is like. I do, however, know that I’ve tried several on the mainland and throughout Caribbean resorts, and this recipe is by far the best one I’ve made at home. While I think most Mai Tai cocktails are made with nothing more than pineapple juice and lime, this one has some other fresh juices. I’m all about what tastes good.

INGREDIENTS

* 3 oz. light rum

* 3 oz. dark rum

* 1 oz. orange curacao (or grand marnier)

* 2 oz. pineapple juice (fresh is amazing if you can do it)

* 2 oz. guava juice

* 2 oz. fresh squeezed lime juice

* 1 oz. orgeat syrup (almond syrup w/ orange or rose)

* 1 oz. simple syrup

* crushed mint leaves to garnish (very important)

* pineapple wedges for garnish

* lime wedge to garnish

DIRECTIONS:

Put all liquid ingredients in cocktail shaker. Fill two high ball glasses with shaved ice. Shake cocktail shaker thoroughly, at least ten times. Strain into two glasses.

Crush the mint leaves between your fingers and float on the top of the drink. It is important to really bruise the mint leaves, because they blend the flavors together. You should NOT skip the fresh mint – it is the key to the whole drink.

Garnish with pineapple and lime wedges.

Drink through a straw. Make sure you have a designated driver … or make at home so you don’t need one.

If you are having a party, these can be made ahead of time and stored in a pitcher, but make sure you stir well before serving.

I can almost feel those tropical breezes already!

Glogg - Swedish Mulled Wine

It’s traditionally served with a snack of raisins and almonds. What’s not to love?! A crunch salty-sweet snack and some alcohol. I dig it. If you’re having a particularly cold day, make a batch, invite some friends, and have a movie marathon or play some video games.

INGREDIENTS:

* 2½ cups full-bodied red wine, such as Cabernet

* 1½ cups ruby port

* 1 cup cognac

* ¼ cup light brown sugar

* 1 orange peel

* 8 green cardamom pods

* 2 cinnamon sticks

* 5 whole cloves

* 1 whole star anise

* ¼ cup blanched, sliced almonds

* ¼ cup raisins

* ¼ cup dried cherries

DIRECTIONS:

1. In a large stockpot set over medium heat, combine the wine, port, cognac, brown sugar, orange peel, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves and star anise. Bring to a simmer and then remove from the heat. Cover and set aside for 2 hours.

2. Strain the glogg through a fine-mesh strainer, discard the spices and rewarm. Place a few blanched almonds, raisins and dried cherries in each glass and add the glogg. Serve immediately. Makes 1 1/2 quarts.

Recipe courtesy of Tasting Table.

Adorable Winter Scene Container - Complete with Bark!

These are perfect for many reasons. First, it’s a cute winter woodland scene with critters, and it has a bear in it. I ♥ bears! Because it’s a Winter scene, it’s not specific to any particular holiday. I can give it to friends and family regardless of what they are celebrating: Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, the Winter Solstice, Saturnalia, etc. Second, it has a cute bark design on the sides, and I’m giving chocolate bark. WIN!

If you’re curious about chocolate-peanut-butter bark, I made it from a recipe I found here, with one small change. I also added small mini-pretzels to my bark, so it contains semi-sweet chocolate, peanut butter, salted peanuts, mini Reese’s cups, and pretzels. I love the juxtaposition of sweet, salty, creamy, and crunchy.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Bark from Best Mom on the Block

As such, I thought today’s Midweek Martini should celebrate the intriguing mechanics of our solar system. What could be more appropriate for a Winter Solstice celebration than a drink called Fire & Ice? It is a layered drink featuring Hot Damn (i.e. cinnamon schnapps) and Bailey’s Irish Creme. Cinnamon is one of those wonderful warming spices, which makes it ideal for a cold Winter’s day, and represents the warmth of our Sun. The Bailey’s Irish Creme represents the ice and snow of Winter.

Making a layered drink can be tricky, so I’ve included a video on how to perfect the art of the layered shot!

INGREDIENTS:

DIRECTIONS:

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

This isn’t the case. I don’t begrudge anyone the joys of the Holiday Season. Believe it or not, I enjoy the innate tackiness of garish holiday decorations. After all, my bird totem is a Party Crow, and crows love shiny things! I just don’t have the initiative to spend the time and energy decorating my own home and taking endless pictures of it to post on my blog. I typically slap some lights and two burlap bows on the blue spruce trees flanking my front door and call it a day. That’s not exactly blog-worthy holiday decorating!

However, I have fond memories of my own childhood and decorating the live tree we always had. Yes, we were one of those freaky “hippy” families who didn’t enjoy cutting down a tree. We always got a live tree with a root ball, and then we planted the tree after the New Year. It was a fun way to extend the holiday a bit, and I always looked forward to getting my hands dirty and planting a live evergreen.

Live Tree With Root Ball

If I return to my childhood neighborhood, I can see many of those trees today, grown and beautiful. We even planted a few in neighbors’ yards when we didn’t have a good spot in our yard! It was a wonderful holiday tradition.

Now I’m married to someone who is culturally Jewish. We own a menorah, but we don’t bother with that, either. Instead, we spend this time making our home cozy with a nice fire in the fireplace and hanging some mistletoe around the house. We make treats together to give away as gifts since we don’t like to be part of the materialistic “competitive shopping” during the Holidays, and we’ve been known to indulge in a pile of fried potato latkes or two. We also celebrate our wedding anniverary on the Solstice, which is December 21st, by treating ourselves to a really nice gourmet dinner at our favorite restaurants, and we exchange small but thoughtful gifts. Overall, it’s a very relaxing time of year for us, the recent upswing in work notwithstanding. I wouldn’t have my holiday any other way! It’s our time to recharge and appreciate the subtle beauty of Winter: the evergreens, the colorful red cardinals in our yard, the holly trees with their bright berries, the visible mistletoe in the tops of oak trees, etc.

Hungry Cardinals

If anything gets me down at this time of year, it’s the hateful behavior of “Christians” who whine about “The War on Christmas” and get their panties in a wad over “Happy Holidays.” It really upsets me that some people are so egotistical and self-absorbed as to think the entire world should bend to their whims and celebrate “Christmas.” If you say “Happy Holidays”, you offend them. If a town has a tree-lighting ceremony instead of a Christmas-tree-lighting ceremony, they accuse everyone of discriminating against Christians. I’m not really sure how it’s possible to discriminate against 83% of the population in the U.S., but that’s what they try to guilt the rest of us into believing. Somehow, the word “Holiday”, which is meant to encompass all Winter Celebrations including Christmas, is the height of rudeness. You know – because being inclusive is hateful! Basically, anyone not celebrating their Winter Holiday in the way they think it should be celebrated are told to leave the country or STFU, and that’s a pretty shitty attitude to pass around at this time of year. It’s no wonder I prefer to spend my holidays at home in quiet, subdued retreat!

War On Christmas - a.k.a. Christian Martry Syndrome

This is why you don’t see a lot of posts from me during this time of year. I certainly don’t want to end up with a blog full of hateful comments that say, “Why are you celebrating anyway, if you don’t believe in Jesus?!” (and yes, I’ve gotten those comments from people on Facebook and in email after responding negatively when someone sent a nasty email about non-Believers and the holidays)