Children and Development

Kids in America Today!

2012-11-01T13:02:00.000-04:00

Many children today lack the proper health, hygiene and nutrition needed to support learning and growth in the world. Americans are more than willing to send aid to third world countries suffering famine, decay and disease in hopes of making the world a better place for all. What startles me is Americans often neglect to look in their own backyards putting blinders on when it comes to those who live in similar conditions. There are many that send support to poor communities and donations to non-profits since this has been their habit for years but they neglect to see what is happening to their neighbors or those in the middle class who are suffering due to the economy and often lack the knowledge to get any benefits from organizations or the government because they have never had to depend on such help. Much less, are they eager to admit they need such assistance after losing a job or having pay checks cut in half putting their families in dire need for help resulting in a stressful environment for all.

Parents often put on an act around their children to protect them from the negative elements in life. It happens on a daily basis due to the economic collapse in this country and now the devastation that has resulted from mother nature in the Northeast. Although parents try to conceal their emotions and needs to protect their children, they often do not realize that children can tell when something is not going as planned or things have changed. They are very perceptive to the slight little changes in their parent's mood, habit....
They often ask, what's wrong? getting answers like "nothing for you to worry about" But you need to realize that children do worry about things and it drastically affects their personal pride, confidence and ability to learn. Sometimes it's the little things that cause them to distress and parents often do not notice.

We all want to protect the children, especially our own. We need to take the time to look around us and see if we can help our neighbor or the person who lives close. Things are not always as they seem on the outside. Look at the children. Are they well nourished? Are they healthy? Does it appear they are getting regular dental and medical care? Are their close clean? Are they clean? Children need to be taken care of in America and to do so, we need to start taking car of our own before we send millions to other countries.

All children deserve to be well-nourished; engaged in meaningful age appropriate activities; insured adequately to receive proper dental, vision and medical care at all times; educated to succeed in this world; and kept safe at all times. America needs to take action and take care of it's own!

Penn State- Let the Children Down!

2011-11-16T12:48:00.000-05:00

I have been reading and hearing quite a bit about problems stemming from the Second Mile Organization and it's relationship to Penn State. I am shocked that this could of been going on for so long without the administration of Penn State not taking a proactive stance to stop this type of behavior. The behaviors of this coach through his own acknowledgement during a phone interview with NBC are not only inappropriate and criminal but repulsive. How can anyone try to rationalize the touching, showers, etc.? It's apparent that Penn State was trying to avoid bringing this situation to the public for the scrutiny it would take but how could they go as far as try to perjury themselves to cover up such a horrible act knowing that it was most likely continuing through the years. I believe that all people have a societal obligation to protect the health and well-being of all children. The administration should of been more concerned about the children than their national image. It's a shame that so many have been hurt due to their lack of moral consciousness. I am applaud at the lack of action by the administration at Penn State, The Second Mile Organization and Coach Paterno.

This man being an ex-football coach was still allowed to enter the Penn State facilities. While Second Mile was prohibited from having any further relationship with Penn State. This looks like children were punished for crimes of others. We need to protect children in our society from the actions of pedophiles like Standesky. Adults should not be rubbing or caressing legs of children; taking showers with young children and horsing around naked . . . They really looked the other way while the one coach who brought this to Penn State's attention is receiving death threats. Why? Didn't he do the right thing by making sure it stopped that day and informing his coach, his immediate supervisor? Could of he done more? I don't know. It doesn't sound like anyone was truly listening. It is easier for all to sweep it under the carpet. That is until the carpet is lifted and it makes national headlines. What was Penn State thinking? JoePa, What were you thinking? Everyone could of done more to protect the children!

The World Through a Child's Eyes!

2011-11-07T12:48:00.001-05:00

Don't you ever want to sit back and look at the world through a child's eyes. Their perspective is so innocent and untarnished. They have such curiosity. The utter will to just explore practicing and developing skills through simple experimentation, inquisition and trial & error. A child is unconditionally loving, unforgiving and carefree. They forgive, forget and move on instantly. They are constantly on the move during their waking hours always observing and wondering why, what, when, where and how about the world around them. They do not hold grudges, bully, or intentionally cause anyone else pain or discomfort. A child is learning each and every moment watching those around them, modeling what they see and forever praising their role models. They want so badly to be big just like you and me, so they try to be us by simply modeling our behaviors, words, and daily routines. A child is not innately mean, prejudicial or lazy. They do not pull inappropriate behaviors or words out of the sky. These are all learned behaviors from those very role models they worship~ parents, teachers, older siblings. Lets raise a kinder, more tolerant generation by being exemplary role models for each and every child our lives touch. I know I will be, how about you?

A Child's Curiosity~ Inquisitive Learning

2011-10-25T17:40:00.000-04:00

Experts study curriculum, learning styles, teaching strategies and development, but how many of them actually go to the source to determine what they know; what they want to learn; how they learn. . ? How can we know what to teach a child or how to teach a child, if we do not first understand the child? It is important that parents and teachers understand how to capture a child’s interest and build on their existing knowledge of things in the world. Children are curious by nature. They want to know why, what, where, when and how about everything around them but how can we tap into all those individual interests to enrich this natural curiosity? One way is to let the child pose the questions on a specific topic that interest them or observe the manner in which they study, experiment or explore with objects. Take the child’s interests from discussions, questions, and observations and build activities around the child’s natural inquisitions. Use their natural curiosity to develop activities that will allow them to enrich, explore and learn about the things building upon the knowledge they already possess. Sometimes taking the opportunity to discuss a topic that a child brings up will spark extra interest. It “Wow’s them”! They become more absorbed in the learning process because they have ownership in the discussion. Be prepared to adapt activities to children’s individual interests and expand learning activities at home as well as in the classroom naturally encouraging a child to not only learn new concepts, vocabulary and skills but to apply them in play. When you take the child’s interests and build on them, you’ll find they are more engaged in meaningful learning activities with fewer discipline problems because they are truly interested in what they are learning. It is also important to remember to change out materials, toys and equipment supporting the concept allowing a child to have a seamless learning experience in which they play an integral role in the learning process. This basic idea of learning using the inquisitive nature of a child as a guide can be apply to all developmental levels and topics. It will keep children engaged while allowing a natural development of critical thinking, decision making, and problem solving skills with a natural growth in all developmental domains.

Here are some simple steps that you can apply to most any concept~

1. Bring in an object (preferably the real thing not a replica if at all possible)

2. Have the children examine it and talk about it. At this time, listen to what they say and build on it; create activities, lessons, projects or trips around their discussion or questions. Be aware that children may take the discussion in a completely different direction than you may have thought.

3. Expand on their discussions introducing new vocabulary and adding interest activities based on your observations and the discussion. Be prepared to answer questions.

4. Allow the children to apply their new knowledge and curiosity through activities that will enrich the concept, encourage exploration on the concept and help them learn by expanding the topic through activities in all developmental domains (emergent literacy, math, art, science, dramatic play, etc.). Take pictures along the way documenting their journey

5. Review and reflect at the end of unit or journey. Share picture; create a class book; review vocabulary on word walls; etc. It’s important to summarize learning and make sure the child completed their journey fulfilling their curiosity for the concept at this time. Class or individual books documenting the learning journey are great for children because they will go back and review them over and over again especially if there are photos of them or they created pictures in the book

I am interested to see if you liked this method of learning. I find it intriguing and I know children will blossom when they learn in this way. Please send me your comments.

The Child's Best Teacher is YOU!!

2011-10-06T16:41:00.000-04:00

Ever wonder what and who builds the foundation for a child to learn? It's you! Role models~ those a child looks up to and adores influence everything a child will do and say. They influence learning on the most fundamental levels from the way they speak to a child to the behaviors they exhibited in front of a child. A child who is spoken to in a normal tone of voice using a wide vocabulary from birth tend to speak clearer and are quicker to form sensible sentences than a child who only hears baby-talk and a limited vocabulary. This simple behavior sets the foundation for all language and literacy development (reading and writing). Children who experience a large diverse vocabulary in their early years tend to be better readers and therefore better students when they are in school. So what can you do? Talk to your child with a normal tone; read to them at least once a day if not more; sing songs; read poems and rhymes and let your child act out these things using movement illustrating their understanding in the form of play. Show your child that reading is pleasurable by reading to them but by reading in front of them whether it's the newspaper, books (paper or electronic), etc. Remember you must model the behavior you wish to see from a child for many years. Make it meaningful and nurture your child during the process of learning and you will see them bloom beyond your expectations.

This same basic principle applies to all areas of development. If you are a coach potato that does nothing but watches TV and plays video games while at home, chances are that is what your child wants to do and will do. They want to be like you. So go outside~ ride bikes; swim; go to the park; run; play ball; swing and have fun as a family. If you want your child to grow up physically fit show them how. If you want your child to have healthy social relationships with the ability to express their emotions appropriately, you must model how to do this. How do you get along with others? How do you react to situations? Are you physical? Do you yell and scream then stomp off? or Do you discuss, reason, compromise or agree? What do you want your child to learn? Teach them to use their words to express themselves and not their mouths or fists (biting or hitting). Show them how to love, how to be friends and how to disagree. Teach them about right and wrong. Set reasonable age-appropriate expectations with reasonable age-appropriate consequences but remember to model the behavior and provide consistency and follow-through if you want to be successful. Children thrive with reasonable boundaries and guidelines. It shows them you care if you follow-through and pay attention at all times. The rules and consequences will change or be altered as the child ages, but remember to pay attention to what is of most importance to them because if they risk losing that, you will have better control. Is it easy? No Way! But it works. It takes time and a huge amount of patience on your part.

Remember with children it is not the quantity of time but the quality of time you give them that has the greatest impact. You are the one who offers them the opportunities and experiences that allow them to learn and grow throughout their young lives. If you fail to offer them these opportunities or experiences as an outstanding role model, your child will not learn, or thrive. Pay attention~ a child's behavior is typical transparent. Although you often need to figure out what they are trying to say especially if you have not taken the time to show them how. It's up to you. Are you a good role model?

The same applies to bad behaviors like cussing, lying, stealing, fighting, smoking and drinking. A child doe not come into this world with bad habits. They are learned! Typically they are learned from either adult role models or older siblings. Beware of your own behaviors and the influence they have on young children. I remember as a child always being told to "do as I say, not as I do." However children prefer to do as you do and that does not always agree with what you say. If you want your child to avoid bad habits and behaviors, you must first end yours. Otherwise your child will grow up just like you in many ways. Are you ready for your clone? Maybe or Maybe not! Depends on whether you have a good moral character to begin with. So again, I ask, Are you a good role model?

Language and Communication

2011-08-07T08:00:00.009-04:00

SOUNDS ➜ WORDS ➜ WORD STRANDS ➜ SHORT SENTENCES ➜ LONGER SENTENCES ➜ CONVERSATIONS

Talk to your child from the womb on using a normal voice that is calm and comforting. You want your child to learn to speak properly so talk to them properly. Use complete sentences, pronunciation . . . . Do not talk to them like a baby. Oh it’s cute! But do you want your child to grow up talking that way? I didn’t think so. We all want children to learn how to communicate with others; have conversations with others; be active listeners; understand and process the words they speak and hear. Here are a few more suggestions to help your child develop language and communication skills which influence their ability to become literate as they grow:

Use voice inflections and tone to show excitement . . . conveying meaning in speech and help your child to develop the ability to do so. Nothings worse than to have to listen to a monotone person who has no inflections at all. I don’t know about you but that puts me to sleep ~ Zzzzzzz
Sit and chat with children ~ helps build stronger communication skills. When you actively involve yourself in a conversation with a child, hopefully you are modeling good conversations skills. Try to avoid saying Aha, Aha . . . or nodding your head. Use words just like you want children to do. We want all children to learn to use their words to express themselves. Children who have speech impairments or difficulties will find other ways to communicate and in most cases we do not consider them appropriate (touching, hitting, biting, throwing, grabbing, pinching, etc.) We also want children to use words not tears or whining. It’s important for you to remind your child often when they are young to use their words because you are unable to understand crying, whining, etc.
Talk to your child on the phone and let them say hello and share with relatives. Don’t take the phone away until they are done talking and have said good-bye. You and everyone else have to grow patients. Children are often in no hurry, we are!
Let your child say the blessing on their own or with you. Let them create their own from time to time. It doesn’t have to be perfect but it will be their thoughts put together. Very important for cognitive development and critical thinking.
Let children read you a story as soon as they are able providing correction or help only if they ask for it. If they are struggling with a word, let them try to figure it out. Too often as adults we lack this patience and blurt out the word before the child is ready and then they lose confidence, become frustrated and want to quit. You want them to feel successful because the more anyone feels success the more they want to try.
Have children dictate to you using their words to communicate in writing. If they receive a present from someone, have them tell you what to write in a thank you note. Read their dictations back to assure you recorded them correctly. Do not chance their dictations ~ make it authentic. This encourages a child to want to write.
When children get in a tryst or argument. Do not immediately try to solve it for them. Let them think it through and attempt to solve it on their own using their own words. Never intervene unless the child has been injured or has harmed another or could in some way. Only intervene if harm is or could be caused. Otherwise let children solve it on their own. If they come to you for help. Tell them it is their disagreement not yours and they need to solve it. If they say they do not know how, you may give them some advice but again do not intervene. If the situation involves harm, you need to speak to both children separately to begin with. First talk to the victim to make sure they are okay and ask them what happened. Asked them if they could have done something differently to make it better. Then talk to the other child and ask them what happened. Then get both children together. Tell them what you feel should of happened. What rule was broken and/or what you did not like about the situation. Then you need to ask the first child to tell the second how they feel. And then have the second make the first feel better. Please note you did not yell; you did not put words in anyone’s mouth; you did not tell anyone to say “I’m sorry. Keep in mind the second child can say I’m sorry but it will be more meaningful if no one ever tells them to do so. This way each child learns to use their own critical thinking skills and will grow both emotionally and socially.

Emergent Literacy Part 3 (Writing)

2011-08-06T08:00:00.001-04:00

LETTERS! WORDS! WRITING! LETTERS! WORDS!

One part of emergent literacy is beginning writing but what does beginning writing look like. You may be surprised. It starts with scribbling. Yes when your child starts making marks of any kind on paper that is the beginning of writing but they usually begin this with a full fist. So fine motor skills must develop as well to allow the child to learn how to hold a writing tool correctly. Beware of coloring books and trying to keep your child in the lines at all times because you may actually be hindering their creative ability by doing so. It's best to have plain paper, crayons (size and number depends on age/stage), markers (3 +), pencils, pens, paints, etc. for your child to experiment with while developing fine motor skills and emergent writing. So what are some of the activities you could encourage your child to do to help them learn letters and encourage the writing of words-

stencils, paper, crayons, etc. Encourage your child to trace within the stencil or trace outside of an object they choose. Then if they wish they can color it. Let them color it anyway they choose to reinforce their creativity. It doesn't need to be perfect. They are learning. The more freedom they have in their efforts the more they will explore at these tasks.
Children especially very young children love to draw and write on most anything including walls. There are several approaches you can take to this. Just get mad (definitely not recommended); panel one side of the lower half of their bedroom wall in marker board or just put paper up or give them things to draw on. These things could be boxes (the bigger the better) ; pieces of lumber; large pieces or cardboard or paper posted on the fence in the backyard with paint brushes or markers, crayons, etc. How about the sidewalk or driveway with sidewalk chalk. Draw shapes, talk about colors, write letters, write their names, write numbers, draw pictures and when it rains it all washes away. Then the child can start all over again. Be creative but make plenty of opportunities for your child to draw and write. There are crayons you can buy for the shower, tablets you use only water on (no mess), lots of options available for the parent who wants to reinforce these skills.
You can buy cheap blank card sets, or tablets of paper, sticky notes, etc. for the child to write in. Be creative, the more options the more they will want to write and/or draw.
Provide them with stamps and stampers with paper, tablets, etc. Again the more variety the more interested they will become.
Create letter shapes using play doh by rolling our the dough like a snake and forming the letters or use letter stamps or cookie cutters.
Make letter sugar cookies or any rolled cookie.
Get letter shapes for the sandbox or beach or water play and have your child make words with them. Also emergent writing creating words or their names.
You can also create letter writing games using any amount of letters (again start small 3-5)- create a bean bag toss with a box you section off placing letters in each spot (lower case and upper case) or buckets you label; create a bowling game with a ball, sticky letters attached to actual plastic pins or anything that ball will push over. When the child tumbles a pin, they must get it and write the letter on paper, marker boards, etc. It's fun!
Write the child's name on everything they do. Have it posted in their room somewhere. When you write it you must use proper format which includes properly formed letters with names beginning with a capital and all other letters lower case. Once your child has mastered their first name (not nickname- they will need to learn to write their legal name in school) then move on to their last, then middle. If you do not print well, and need to hang your child's name in their room, craft stores sell both cardboard and wood letters or you can print it on the computer using comic-sans (good format for printing). REMEMBER TO USE UPPER CASE AND LOWER CASE LETTERS APPROPRIATELY WHEN CHILDREN ARE FIRST LEARNING TO WRITE. It is extremely important and your child's teacher will be appreciative.
Tracing letters, lacing letters, etc. are also great activities to help with fine motor skills, emergent writing, and letter identification.

Emergent Literacy Part 2 (Sounds and Words)

2011-08-05T08:00:00.003-04:00

BOOKS! BOOKS! BOOKS! SONGS! FINGER PLAYS! POEMS! GAMES!
Below are a number of different activities for children five and under. However some are more appropriate for the 4-5 year old. It is important that you understand that your child must build their skills starting with simple words, then more complex words, putting together before taking apart. All this comes before substituting beginning or ending sounds in rhyming. Must identify a letter before or with the sound. Single sounds before blends. Most common sound before the secondary sound on some letters. The English language is not an easy language to understand. So take it step by step and if you use the right sequence in developing literacy skills your child will excel!

sing songs require listening and following instructions. Model the movements with your child. Have lots of fun!
listen to music and sing songs that rhyme. How many of you remember nursery rhymes. Well it's because someone sung them to you taught them to you. Act them out. Again have fun!
play letter games using large letters of lower case and upper case letters- you can buy these or make them out of foam, paper(laminate) or cardboard (Make sure you always say the name and sound of the letter) Have your child match them to the music. or use a one or two letters each week and have your child bring a couple items from around the house that have the same beginning sound. You can also do this with pictures. It is important also that you teach your child the difference between a letter, a number, a shape and a symbol.
Create a Letter Sound Book (At home word wall) Start with letters of their name and have them cut things out of magazines, catalogs, and newspapers that have the same beginning sound and paste them on the matching page. Then review the book periodically during the week. Reviewing the letters, sounds and words that correspond. This activity will need your guidance and checking for accuracy. But remember to reinforce positively.
Play memory using two sets of letter flash cards. Use only a few letters to start (maybe 5-8 pairs) and increase as the child gets more advance. You can also make up card games using the same cards (Like 'Go Fish' or create an odd card for 'Old Maid') There are a slew of activities you can do with two matching sets of cards- see Septembers blogs. Make sure when you play these games the child identifies the letters and reviews the sounds by saying a word that the letter begins with.
Talk about sounds that you hear around the house and outside. Play a game where the child closes their eyes and listens to see if they can identify the sound. A child has to be able to listen to natural sounds and words before they will be able to listen to specific sounds in words that are letters which is needed to learn to read and write. This sounds like a simple game but it is very important for young children to master. Just like they master simple sounds then words, then sentences then conversations. It is all a sequence they develop through
Teach the child that some words are made up of two words which are called compound words. You can find many of these words within the toys they play with like air-plane; base-ball; or nature- sun-flower, butter-fly. Talk about what each word means separately and together. Use each hand to represent one word each and say "If you take air (left hand) and add it to plane"(right hand) bring both hands together and say "your get AIRPLANE" then clap. Do the opposite to illustrate how a compound word can be taken apart. "If you have airplane and you take away plane you have air" Just reverse the hand motions. You can also ask your child to find the object you are forming with two words. It is very important that your child understand what butter and fly by themselves are before they become butterfly, etc. for the activity to be developmentally appropriate. Simple words come before complex words and words are nothing without meaning. Please remember that simple rule when working on literacy skills with your child.
Make ups silly rhymes and encourage your child to help you. This is more advanced and developmentally appropriate for the child who understands basic letter sounds and compound words. Funny rhymes are always fun. Then you can try tongue twisters if you are really brave!

Many more activities, games, actual songs, finger plays, poems, and interactive websites will be listed for you to use in September's Blog. Stay tune. We are just building your foundation of information. Any questions or concerns, please let me know. I will be glad to help!

Emergent Literacy-Part 1 (Reading)

2011-08-04T08:00:00.001-04:00

BOOKS! BOOKS! BOOKS! LETTERS!
PAPER & PENCIL/CRAYONS/MARKERS! CONVERSATION! PUPPETS! COSTUMES! STORY FIGURES! BOOKS! BOOKS! BOOKS

Emergent Literacy is the building blocks of reading and writing. A fundamental ALL CHILDREN need to succeed in this world in which we live. So what can you do to help you child? Again each day will include 5-10 suggestions to help them in what many educators call their formative years (years before they enter kindergarten):

Children need books! Books that teach basic skills (colors, shapes, numbers, letters); Books that tell a story with a beginning, middle and end. The length of the book depends on the child. The style of the book depends on the child (boars, plastic, cloth, hardcover, soft cover). But every home needs books appropriate for your child. There should be books that your child can pick up and look at themselves and ones you can read to them.
READ to your child each and every day more than one time a day. The more you read the more they will learn. Talk about what you have read. Check for understanding. Point to pictures. Take your finger and follow the words, so a child sees you are reading from top to bottom, left to right.
Draw pictures about what you have read together (or paint . . .) have the child tell you what they drew as a dictation and write it down to show them that their spoken words can become written words just like the ones in a book.
You need letters (beads, magnets, plastic, large, blocks . . .) Any type of letters. Start with the letters in your child's name. Show them the letter. Tell them what it is. How it sounds. Show them how it goes together to spell their name. How they all sound when you put the individual sounds together. Have your child practice identifying and sounding letters on the refrigerator, or beading onto a string (first to spell their name). Have them take their finger and outline it following the path as if they were printing it. Have them sort the letters by shape (circles, slants . . .), have them sort by color. Then have them try to write the letters on paper, chalk boards or marker boards. Make games out of the letters (Sept. will include many letter games to help with identification and phonemics).
You need puppets, costumes, props, figures, . . . that will allow your child to retell certain stories on their own. This helps them illustrate their comprehension and understanding of what you have read. For instance if your book has a butter fly or a caterpillar create puppets out of socks or bags to make it fun. Then the next time you tell the story have them use the puppet to help. Then after reading the book several times, you may see your child telling the story using their own words but following the plot using their puppet. You can do the same thing with costumes, etc. Be creative. Have fun, the more you are involved the more fun it will be for your child unless they have a playmate.
Model reading not just children's books you read aloud to your child. Show your child you appreciate reading yourself. Read a book, or use your iPad of Kindle to read a book, the newspaper, etc. Use the devices as well as the computer to share books with your child during the day as well. Some sites even have interactive activities that reinforce the book. (I will provide a list in Sept.)
Again be consistent, follow through, most important, make time to read each and everyday!

2011-08-03T08:00:00.022-04:00

Here are a few organization tips that will help your child develop inpendence; self-help skills and much more. Remember try one at a time, so you do not become overwhelmed as a parent. Teachers already know this and it is 'tit for tat'. Hope it's helpful. Please let me know if you try anything and how it went (good or bad). If we can start a dialogue you will learn much more.

label items in a child's space with pictures and words. This helps them with literacy and to identify where things go.
encourage children to only take out one item at a time and put it back when done.
place a bulletinboard, cork pieces or whiteboard at your child's height somewhere in their room. Post their art work here or let them hang what they want up. When it's full, have your child take off what they want to add new things. This will make them feel important, build self confidence and allows them to learn to make their own choices about their things.
have child help clean up all messes showing them how to put things back where they belong. The more you model with their help, the more they will learn and sooner or later they will be able to clean it up alone. Teaches independence, slef-help and organization.
Give choices often but make sure they are choices you can follow through with. Never give a child a choice that really is not a choice. Helps with cognitive development.
Don't make promises or plans that you share with a child unless you are 100% sure you can keep them. If you tell a 3 year old you are going to the park after nap and the weather turns inclimate, so you don't take them to the park. They will watch the rain and when it stops they will expect you to take them and if you don't, they will begin to think you are lying and begin to distrust you. It is very important to follow through with ALL promises you make to a young child. If you are not sure if you can don't share! This is very important for emotional well-being.
BE CONSISTENT and follow through- builds trust and moral character.

Preschool Tips~ for ALL!!!

2011-08-02T08:01:00.001-04:00

For the next month I will be sharing simple parenting and classroom tips that will make your life a bit simpler if you try them. Just remember to be consistent and stick with the ones you try. Do not try all of them at once, it may be overwhelming for you but you can add new ones from time to time. I will include 5-10 tips a day that follow the same area of learning for your child. The first group deals with guidance and discipline~

Use postive speech~ tell your child what you want them to do not what you don't want or like
Use positive speech in setting rules at home and in the classroom. Have children help create the rules. It has more meaning to them and helps with self-esteem. Review the rules daily until they can recite them back to you without your help. You may want to revisit rules from time to time with your child to see if they should be changed or adjusted. You can also discuss consequences at this time.
Give positive reinforcement and incentives for good behavior
Recognize good behavior always~ignore bad whenever possible (not causing a disturbance or putting self or others in harms way). Typically the inappropriate behavior will stop because they are not getting any recognition or attention which is typically the purpose of behaving in any manner especially as a young child.
Remain calm at all times.
model ecpected behavior
BE CONSISTENT and follow through!

Taking Action~Dealing with Bullies

2011-08-01T12:54:00.000-04:00

Reading the previous blogs you now know bullies have varying personalities and carefully chose the environments in which they perform their feat of being in control, and superior to those around them while rationalizing their behaviors towards their chosen victim(s). If you are not the bullies victim, you may not notice anything abnormal about the bullies behaviors because they are never directed towards you and if the bully doesn't want you to see them as a bully, you won't because bullies are extremely clever manipulators. But if you are the victim, what can you do? Should you tell someone else? Should you seek advise or help from others? or Should you just run and hide? The main question the victim asks themselves is how can I stop this, how can make it better?

Remember some victims do not even realize they are victims until damage is done. But they still ask the questions~ Why me? What did I do? Why can't everyone else see what this person is doing? Why won't you help me? Where can I go for help? How can I stop this without causing anymore pain? What caused this? Unfortunately, many of those questions will never be answered especially if the bully is allowed by those who do not see what is going on to continue to dominate, control and play the game of manipulation. But there are some things you can do for yourself and your children if you or your children ever are confronted by a bully.

Here are some basic behaviors (defenses) that will enable you to deal with the bully~

avoid one on one confrontation or discussions with the bully.
try your BEST to ignore the bully and walk away
talk to the bully~

look the bully in the eye
speak clearly
use a firm voice
tell them what you expect and why
tell them what the consequences will be if they don't listen
do not show any fear or anxiety (a bully feeds on this)

tell the bully to leave you alone
never show FEAR (bullies thrive on fear)
report any incidences to a person of authority or adult or supervisor
walk and work in pairs or groups whenever possible- limiting the bully's opportunity to torment you
talk to others about the situation and get others involved to help
react calmly and confidently to taunting

Parents can help their children deal with bullying by~

talking about unacceptable behaviors and situations by truly listening calmly and thoughtfully to what your child has to say. Do not promise to stay quiet about an unacceptable situation that may have caused your child harm or undue distress. It is your job as a parent to step in at times and help your child deal with unruly situations that could get worse without notifying the school, authority or the other parent. Beware of contacting the parent(s) of a bully especially if you are not familiar or already friendly with the other parents. Remember the saying "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree". Well children that bully learn these behaviors somewhere whether it's from parents, siblings, friends, relatives, media or as a survival skill to seek attention. Beware of the family you are confronting!
Parents can make learning how to deal with unacceptable behavior and situations fun at home before a child ever has to deal with it on their own. Try role playing situations with appropriate reactions like teaching your child how to react to taunting or name calling. DO NOT teach your child to use physical force or insults on the bully since it typically will only make the bully react more and gives the bully satisfaction knowing they were able to get a rise out of their victim. Practice some of the above skills over and over again until you are sure your child can deal with most situations. Use the same technique at home to teach stranger danger.
Always encourage your child to build confidence in themselves with praise and positive reinforcement. Teach them to think highly of themselves as they build a strong self-esteem and good character. At the same time have them tell you the qualities they seek in friends. Teach them how to look for the same good qualities in their friends.
Get your child involved in activities that have appropriate adult supervision. Children are less likely to bully in front of an adult unless it is a parent who themselves is a bully. So, make sure the adult in charge has similar values as you because some parents are bullies too. Parents beware!
Take the time to help a shy child overcome their shyness. Remember a shy child is more vulnerable to bullying.
Help your child learn how to communicate using eye contact, tone and body language that sends the message they intend. Anyone can tell someone to leave them alone but to get a bully to leave you alone, you must mean it.
Remember give your child many opportunities to make friends, do things with their friends and belong to groups since common interests in children builds friendships and confidence in your child. A confident child is less likely to be bullied but if they are they are also more likely to be able to deal with it.

It's important for all of us to remember bullying is abusive behavior and can leave residual scares on it's victims. It doesn't only occur in childhood but can continue into adult hood with coworkers or even abusive bosses. If the bullying gets out of control and you cannot contain it for your child or yourself~ you cannot find help or anyone who will aide in stopping the abusive behavior of another, then please consider changing schools, or jobs because the emotional and mental trauma will continue until you do.

Be wary of the manipulator at all times, you never know when they will turn on you!

Bullying is ABUSE!

Victims of Bullies: Anyone You Know?

2011-07-26T15:59:00.000-04:00

How does the bully choose a victim? What are the characteristics of victims? What makes them a target? These are some of the questions I hope to answer in part 3 of my series on Bullying.

First- How Does a Bully Choose their Victim?

There a multitude of reasons why a bully chooses their victim(s) but the main purpose is to empower themselves through clever, indirect and devious actions causing physical, emotional, and/or mental harm to their victim.

· A person may begin by being a friend to the bully without knowing their true nature but if the person shows any disrespect to the bully whether intentional or not, the friendship will cease to exist in the same pretense as it has because the bully no longer feels in control and no longer “owns” that relationship. The bully will then either disown and spread rumors about the person or begin planning a series of manipulative actions that will ultimately destroy their ‘friend’ long before the ‘friend’ realizes what is happening. This can happen with children, adults, or in the workplace with both employees and bosses. The ultimate goal of bullies manipulation becomes payback for the incident they found to be disrespectful or unacceptable. These type of bullies are extremely dangerous and can cause the most long term harm to their victims because they are very good at keeping their intentions isolated towards their victim(s) and may appear as a completely different person to everyone else they come in contact with which helps them to carry out the deception; create fabricated rumors; and undermine everything their victim attempts to accomplish through their manipulative actions.

· You may also become a victim when you exhibit any kind of independent ideas or actions if you are a follower and the bully is your leader because you have attempted to take the power from the bully. The bully may choose to chastise you in public either physically or emotionally or choose a plan to destroy you through manipulation. See yesterday’s blog for details on the rational non-verbal abuser for details. It’s important to remember that many of the bully’s friends or followers remain loyal for years; entire careers or life. These friends/followers are provided with return friendship and camaraderie without the threat of becoming the victim.

· The bully has special radar that identifies the weak and vulnerable. He is a true predator and these people are easy targets for the bully. They are easily exploited and controlled. Many become future followers.

· Anyone with negative characteristics is a perfect target and it immediately stirs that innate radar they have developed. They find it extremely easy to target victims who are greedy, submissive, or even anxious to achieve or please. They also look for victims who are willing to make sacrifices for others providing unconditional support or those trying ‘too hard’ (in the bully’s eyes) to please or succeed. The bully will use whatever means necessary including outward charm to woo his potential victims to befriend him while unknowingly the bully has already began to calculate his cold-hearted plan to dominate and control the situation at all times.

· A bully who believes you can see through the false mask he wears will create a plan to destroy your credibility if he can because he is afraid others will join you. He cannot take the chance that many will realize the truth of his ways- scheming, deceitful, aggressive and competitive. You propose a challenge and his true characteristics cannot allow you to succeed. Consequently you may never realize this until it is too late because this type of bully appears to be behind you and wants you to trust him when he is really thinking the opposite always trying to undermine or derail your actions because you are a threat to his status quo either at school, the neighborhood, groups, or at work. Victim beware he will work hard to get you excluded from activities, functions or even get you fired. If he is your boss, he may verbally reprimand you in large groups but dismiss it at other times keeping you off balance until he chooses to destroy you which is the ultimate goal.

· A bully learned early that people who are made to feel guilty or just weaker in nature are the easiest victims to manipulate into accepting inappropriate behaviors or even submitting to domination.

· A bully feels that other people around him are his sheep and it gives him a feeling of ownership of them which boosts his ego. Although beware of making them look bad in anyway. They will become extremely angry feeling betrayed by your loyalty causing jealousy and retaliation. At this point the bully begins to develop their plan to destroy- instantaneous combustion with physical outbursts or slow burning manipulation to destroy without detection.

· Newcomers looking for social acceptance at school, neighborhood, groups or work are another great target for the bully looking for followers or victims. They can either play up the need for camaraderie or threaten to isolate them from others if they do not submit to the bully’s demands.

· People that back away from aggressive behavior or fights are also get targets for the bully. All the bully needs to do in some cases is illustrate how angry and aggressive they can be if anyone betrays their trust or demands. All the bully does is wait until the potential victim shows a little independence or success of their own to illustrate a problem with the bully’s control of the situation.

Many people are unwilling and embarrassed to admit they are a victim of bullying. Children may especially be afraid to tell an adult since they think telling an adult will only make the bully increase their torment. It’s important for adults to recognize the signs of bullying (previous two blogs); the signs of victims (below) and taking a proactive stance on bullying by learning how to deal with bullying (tomorrow’s blog).

It is not uncommon for a person especially a child who is a victim of bullying to complain of frequent ailments; to make every attempt to avoid certain situations including school; often comes home with missing possessions or broken items; becomes withdrawn; and loss of appetite. There are two major types of bullying victims: those that are passive and responsive.

Passive Victims

· Exhibit quite a bit of emotions

· Rarely tell others about the bullying

· May start to carry weapons for protection

· Never encourage an attack by a bully; they go about their own business never intentionally aggravating the bully

· Very sensitive in nature (may cry easy or become overly anxious or easily upset- may keep feeling inside)

· May be shy and lack needed social skills

· May be insecure and lack self-esteem

· May be chosen last or left out of group activities

· May appear to lack humor or the ability to understand or accept sarcasm

· May have few or no friends

· Typically bullied repeatedly

· May use possessions (money, toys, favors, etc.) as bribes for protection from the bully

Responsive Victim

· May be pesky and repeatedly irritate others

· May be quick tempered

· May fight back

· Can easily get others fired up

· May be clumsy, immature, and restless (class clowns…)

· May provoke the bully or be appear to be bullies themselves but aren’t just possess some of the same outward aggressive characteristics

· Usually lose in the end

· May try to work with the bully but doesn’t succeed

Remember you will not be harmed by a bully if you are with them but they will attempt to dominate you completely through their demands and actions. If you are against the bully from the beginning or disagree at any length, the bully feels he must undermine you causing you difficulty in school, at public functions, with your friends or at work. At no time does a bully feel you have the same rights as they. In the bully’s mind you do not have the same right to achieve success or happiness as he. It’s important to remember that the bully lacks all positive personality characteristics associated with empathy- no real concern for anyone but themselves but will use any skills they possess to maintain control and power which helps to fulfilled their ego-centric needs and ambitions. The bully never sees anything like others but rather chooses to unconsciously crate their own sense of reality, which is centered on them. A true manipulative bully bases their plan of attack on deception because if they were straightforward it would be counterproductive revealing their true character which would not be approved of by anyone else. The most savvy bullies are passive-aggressive in nature never showing their true character to everyone often even acting the role of victim to gain others empathy claiming that no one appreciates the work they have accomplished or the things they do in the group or class never acknowledging all the sacrifices they have made to accommodate the group. The woe-me syndrome to gain empathy and conceal their ruthless ambitions. They often claim to they haven’t done anything wrong and have no intention of working out the situation in any compromise. The true bully only sees the situation through their eyes but will work on others to win them over with promises, kindness and behaviors the victim never experiences. It may even appear to the victim that the bully has a split personality-“ Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”. Unfortunately the victim will be the only one to experience this split personality while the bully baits everyone else involved in the situation. Remember the bully has many hidden traits and tools to use to cause the victim distress. These can be reviewed in the previous two blogs. Tomorrow we will discuss how to deal with a bully. Stay Tune!!!

Bullie: Characteristics of & How they think (part 2 of Series)

2011-07-25T17:24:00.000-04:00

Children are all different and they are all born with different temperments: passive or sometimes fearful; assertive or sometimes flexible; or aggressive or sometimes fiesty or fearless. Aggressive temperments like personalities usually begin early in life but this does not mean the aggressive child will be a bully but it does mean the parents guidance and discipline as well as awareness in recognizing the aggressive tendencies are dealt with at an early age. Although normal development in children does involve some hitting, fighting and arguiing, most children learn how to control their impulses especially if their parents are aware of their temperment and guides through acceptable ways of behaving. Teaching a child how their words and actions affect others helps them to develop empathy for others. They learn to care about others feelings when they act. It is important for all parents to openly talk about bullying before it happens and teach their children what to look out for. Remember anyone can be bullied and anyone can be bully.

Characteristics of Bullies (kids or adults) ~ Things to look out for:

Bullies tend to lack remorse, guilt or a conscience. Their ultimate goal is to seek power. They do this by putting their victims into distress any way they possible can. They are generally agressive but many may be so skilled in manipulation that it will not be apparent to anyone but the victim and they are never at a loss for words. In fact bullying can be so harmful to the victim that it can be seen as a criminal act if teh bully is over the age of 12. Bullies tend to exhibit behaviors that repeatedly hurt another person through words, actions or both. Some examples of the three types of bullying that everyone should look out for are:

Physical (Action Oriented Bully)

hitting, punching, kicking, shoving, pushing
taking or damaging property or possessions
hiding property or possessions

This is the easiest type of bullying to identify and if aggressive behavior is not dealt with at an early age may intensify as the child gets older leading to anger management problems.

Verbal (Words that hurt)

Name-calling, or constant teasing
racists comments or discriminatory remarks
intimidation, harrassment, hurtful sarcasm and threats
insults, constant criticism and correction
epithets and derogatory remarks
ridicules, shames and humiliates the victim
The bully may yell, shout, and/or use verbal forms of discrimination to make their victim feel unease whenever possible.
outright slander
Belittles, criticizes, demeans and constantly puts the victim down using condescending language.

The victim cannot do anything right from the bullie's perspective because that would take away from the bullies power. The bully shows no respect for their victim what-so-ever. There are no visible scars with this type of bullying but just like abuse, the emotional damage is devastating and easy for a bully to inflict. Not so easy for the victim to prove.

Non-Verbal (rational/emotional bully-covert abuse)

talks behind another's back often spreading rumors, and gossip that makes the victim appear jaded. These rumors may not have any credibility and often are used to cause harm to the victim giving the bully more power.
Interupts the victim often when they are talking to another or working either at school, with friends or at work causing any type of irritation possible.
convinces other to exclude or reject by manipulating relationships
fabrication of lies to hurt their victim.
isolates and sidelines their victims
sabbotages and undermines the victim
ignore direction from their victim or in concern/relation to their victim
often fails to respond to their victim giving them the silent treatment as if it is a well planned out game.
glares, and leers at their victim as if watching for any way to undermine them.
gives negative eye contact as well as negative vibes with their body language and facial features.
comtrols conscience through rationalizations. The bully maintains his focus and effectiveness towards the goal and cannot worry about the questionable motives or negative impact on the victim. It allows the bully to sleep at night and not feel any guilt for their inappropriate behaviors or harm to their victim.
Center of their own universe and unable to see the situation in another perspective except their own which allows for further rationalization of their actions.
lack control over impulses causing them to be self-absorbed and aggressive in a nonphysical way.
feel they have a moral and ethical high ground to anyone else making their self-righteousness a constant force that causes harm to their victim.
Obsessed with image and easily distorts the truth and sometimes even reality
evasive avoiding teh truth whenever possible attacking the victim when confronted using lies and fabrications if necessary.
often plays the victim so they can easily manipulate others into submitting to their desires. This is very effective in an environment that emphasizes trust, respect, teamwork, and fair treatment of others.
distorst the truth and ofthe presents hearsay as facts
exaggerates the impact of their victims actions
hypocritical- a skilled bully will openly claim beliefs, feelings and virtues that they don't actually possess, so they can influence others without arousing suspicion of their true personality and intent.
often exaggerates the impact of others actions on them, especially the chosen victims.
repeatedly focuses on past actions that claim hurt them in order to manipulate the victim reminding them that at one time they caused them pain (real or not).
deceitful behaviors that often reveal the bully to the victim but by then it is often too late to change the harm done.
The bully often undermines the victims achievements, friendships, work and directions to maintain the power struggle.
spread malicious rumors about their victim
pretends to care but undermines you in front of others or gossips behind your back spreading rumors that are not credible
outright slander

The rational, non-verbal bully is a master manipulator and lack total respect for others. These type of bullies wish to achieve victory before anyone realizes or at least can prove that they have declared war on their victim. Their covert methods take a heavy emotional toll on all those involved in their tricks but it is often the most capable who are most emotionally overwhelmed and harmed by their actions. This is the most harmful type of bullying because it takes such a long time for you to realize why you feel so miserable since you are unaware of the cause. The signs of bullying in this scenario are ofthen subtle, frustrating the victims attempts to make sense of an often frustrating and confusing situation. When you are a victim and are being intentionally targeted by a bully who is savvy enough to disguise their intentions from others, it is in your best interest to get yourself as far away from the situation as possible to avoid continual mental abuse by the bully. Unfortunately this type of bullying is very difficult to prove since the bully uses a variety of behaviors to gain power and control the situaion in hopes of somehow over powering or eliminating their victim. It is often impossible for the victim to isolate incidents to explain the situation throoughly with a clear understanding with supportive data to those who are in a position to assist them. That is why the convert bully who abuses their victims often walks away from the situation untarnished leaving their victim(s) to recover from the repetitive actions of their abuser, the rational/non-verbal bully.

It is also important for us to remember that bullies act the way they do for a variety of reasons. It can be as simple as they're parents are bullies and their behaviors are learned or it could be they were always aggressive but it was never dealt with. However their are other reasons as well, the child being shy and awkward around others; feel different or inferior; experienced a recent crises; looking for attention; family problems; or they are continually picked on by another (parent, sibling, neighbor, etc.). They may also be insecure and being a bully empowers them. They want others to believe they are in control. It's important we recognize, identify and deal with bullying at all stages of life because it can also mean the person is mentally ill, a psycopath.

All bullies get excited by bullying behavior. It gives them a feelling of power and control. They lack compassion and empathy for others especially their victims. They enjoy causing pain and are generally calm showing little to no emotion. It is common for them to blame others. They believe that innocent remarks and actions are meant to hurt them. They are usually average students with low self-esteeem. They tend to have a small network of friends and are successful at hiding their bullying behavior. It excites them when their victims react and want to fight back. It is more common for boys to use physical force, insults and threats, while girls rely on social alienation and intimidations. As a bully ages they become more skilled and often become the covert abuser.

Remember When . . .

2011-06-23T09:31:00.000-04:00

Remember when -

you took your first step
spoke your first word
your first day of school
high school graduation
your first kiss
first date
first time you got laid
going away to college
your first drink
the day you got married
birth of your children
your children's firsts
the times you laugh
the times you cry
your successes
your disappointments
your losses
your achievements
those who have hurt you
those who have loved you
when you laughed
when you cried
when you were happy
when you were sad
when you felt safe
when you believed
when you had the courage to take risks
when you developed the wisdom to avoid those risks
when the world was a gentler and kinder place to live

If you could turn back time, would you? What would it accomplish? Would you do things differently? Probably not !!

Oh there are many things in life that we may regret and would like to have changed but we cannot turn back time. We can remember and learn from those experiences, so we avoid making those same regrets again.

There are a few things in my life I would like to change but I know I cannot. But I thought I would share a few of my regrets with you . . .

If I could turn back time, I would

been a more of a leader than a follower in my early years
not of let others take advantage of me or make baseless assumptions
never pull over on the side of the road to change drivers
never let alcohol blur my judgments
fight for what is right rather than relying on others to be objective
confront situations rather than trying to avoid confrontation
of liked to stay home with my children when they were young
of liked to have more time with my children
have been more laid back and taken life a bit less seriously
enjoyed each moment I had with everyone who is important to me
of had a nose job when they had to reset it- am not going through that pain again

Remember as adults we must set examples for our children. It is experiences (good and bad) that influence the person we become. Children will develop their own regrets and hopefully they too will remember when . . . They can learn from those past experiences by applying those lessons to future ones, always taking steps forward to better future.

Remember to always believe, enjoy, laugh and love!!! Life should be fun!

Simple Supplies for Summer Fun

2011-06-16T16:17:00.000-04:00

All parents have heard the words, "I'm bored!" "There is nothing to do!" Many times our children make the same complaint because they have not been encouraged to become independent thinkers who can entertain themselves. We need to remember that it is not always the job of the parent or caregiver to entertain the child 24/7. Children need to be encouraged and guided to explore and express their creativity and curiosity independently. Parents can encourage these behaviors with a few simple activities and inexpensive supplies.

First set up an area that your child is allowed to get messy. It could be an area on a patio, patio, basement, etc. Then stock it with these simple supplies: plain and colored paper; paper plates; paper cups; paper towels; glue; scissors; paint; markers; crayons, pencils; colored chalk; playdoh; rolling pins; cookie cutters; bubbles; bubble blowers; and other miscellaneous craft items that interest your child. You may also want to set up an area with old clothes and items for dress-up or housekeeping as well as have puzzles; building blocks; word working materials and other independent activities that your child may be interested in. Encourage your child to be creative and responsible for their area. You may need to model the behavior or activities to begin with but eventually your child will be able to learn how to entertain themselves or their friends. It is important that you allow the child the freedom to explore and express themselves in this area with the understanding that they will be responsible for cleaning up after themselves as well. If you begin this regiment when the child is very young, you will find that at first you are doing quite a bit of modeling and helping with the clean-up but it is important that you have the child help right from the start. If you begin to do it all for them, you will not teach them independence but dependence and you will find yourself always picking up after your child. Be consistent and have the child assist with everything from the start. Once they learn the routine, you will find that they will be able to clean up alone. Reinforce this behavior and show pride in independent activities. You find that this will help your child build initiative and integrity towards all tasks in their lives with some simple modeling and encouragement towards independence.

Once you have accomplished this you will find your child can entertain themselves without at television, computer or gaming system. They will be independent and confident.

Summer Fun For All!!!!

2011-06-11T15:54:00.000-04:00

School's out for summer!!! Let's take time to help our children become independent thinkers who can learn to occupy themselves, their friends and continue to develop their bodies and minds the entire summer. It just takes a few simple supplies, a little planning and everyone will enjoy their summer while building friendships and family relationships that will be preserved in memories for years to come. First you need to determine your child's interests beyond watching television, videos and/or playing video/computer games. We want children to be active throughout the summer. Remember it is not a time for the child's mind or body to take a vacation. It is still important to make sure children of all ages are active each and everyday to maintain physical fitness and health while they continue to build on all their other skills, academically and socially.

Once you have honed in on your child's interests build a summer plan to keep them motivated and involved in a variety of activities. Summer camps are usually available for most interests but can become rather expensive. So this may not be an option for many families. However you can create similiar activities in your community or neighborhood especially if you have a strong parent group. Parents can create their own 'summer camp' in the neighborhood. Parents take shifts as the camp counselors sharing the time committed rather than paying for a camp counserlor that you do not know. You may have one family that has a large pool in your neighborhood, so the days they are available swimming is available or another neighbor has a trampoline, slip and slide, horses, etc., etc. Maybe you have one or two parents that know how to use power tools to build things out of wood, create a community project the children can learn from; another that sews, paints, draws, cooks or has a green thumb. You can have small classes going on all summer right within your neighborhood. Create a neighborhood garden. Have the children go around the neighborhood (supervised) and collect all the trash or debry that doesn't belong as community service. Have them go to a nursing home and sing to the elderly. If you have some parents who love the outdoors, they can be in charge of hiking on local trails; canoe the rivers; day at the beach or park. Create outdoor games within the neighborhood like croquet; badmitten; teatherball; tennis (if courts area available); basketball; volleyball; sandlot softball . . . Plan weekly organized neighborhood outings to the library. Add another field trip to keep the children interested- movie theatre (come areas offer free or reduced movies); museums; botanical gardens; local zoos; water parks; roller skating, or the beach (if nearby). You can also go on long bike rides as a caravan, roller blade, etc. Make it fun by creating scanvenger hunts with small incentives. Have the children prepare and serve each other lunch and snacks. Work around the schedules of all the parents in your neighborhood. You will not only be helping each other out but you will reduce the cost of child care while building lasting relationships for yourselves and your children. And don't forget to award the adults periodically by having a block or neighborhood party. This idea can be achieved with as few as five famililes or as many as you can handle. The more families added the more difficult transportation becomes but more adults to share with supervision and activities. Just remember to include reading and trips to the library in your plan as well as talking to the children about the activity and helping them learn about it. Have the older children help and give them responsibilities with built in incentives to assist with their motivation. Be creative and share your ideas, successes and failures if any with others by posting below.

Here are some of the things your child will learn from the suggested activities in this blog-

Swimming- coordination; physical fitness; increase hand-eye coordination by having children dive for things or play games to help with taking turns, following directions, sportsmanship, cooperation and communication.
Trampoline- physical development and control; coordination and dexterity; physical fitness, taking turns, following directions
Horses or other animals- compassion; care of another; riding with lessons and directions; communication; following directions; empathy for animals; unconditional love animals give in return
All of the ball games- coordination; dexterity; physical fitness; keeping score; following directions (rules of the game- cognitive dev.); cooperation; sportsmanship; teamwork; communication
Museums, zoos, local sites or botanical gardens- learn about the community (subject-animals, plants, history . . .); being a good citizen; acceptable public behavior; communication; cooperation; following directions and much, much more
Outdoor adventures (hiking, biking, etc.)- learn about the community and rules as they pertain to the activity; being a good citizen; plant and animal life in the area; physical fitness; safety; cooperation; following directions; communication
Woodworking- proper use of tools; measurements; following directions; teamwork; cooperation; communication; building a product to be proud of.
Sewing- proper use of tools; measurements; following directions; ability to express self; communication; creating something to be proud of.
Cooking- proper use of tools; nutrition; health; measuring; reading and interpreting a recipe; create something to be proud of.
Paint/Draw/Crafts- following directions; free expression; proper use of various mediums and tools; creativity; creating something to be proud of.
Gardening- following directions; plant life cycle; care of plants; final product to be proud of
Community Service Projects- compassion; empathy; citizenship; ecology/recycling; importance of giving; following directions; communication; cooperation; teamwork
Weekly trips to the library encourage children to read. You may want to allow time for children to share their books with one another or choose a book for all the children of a given age group to read at the same time and discuss. Allow time in all the activities to discuss what's being done; why it's being done; how it's should be done; provide guidance as necessary; and any safety rules or parameters related to the activites. Communication is essential in every activity with children- Also allow time for children to write thank you's to the adults who help and you may even create a pen pal club for the neighborhood to encourage writing all summer long.

As you can see each and every activity allows a child to lean while they are actively involved and having fun. The activities suggested do not include sedentary activities. We want the children to be active, not sitting in front of a screen all day. Good luck and look for more simple, inexpensive ideas to be shared throughout the summer.

Today's Children

2011-04-12T15:18:00.000-04:00

As a society we need to realize that everything we do has an impact on the future of our children. It is our responsibility to assure that ALL children receive fair and equal access to the experiences and opportunities they require to grow and develop as they learn to become productive, self-sufficient, independent, honest and responsible young adults. We need to set exemplary models for children to follow treating each other honestly with respect and empathy communicating openly and actively listening to one another, each and every minute of our lives. We need to illustrate to children by our own actions that we care about others through our actions by volunteering, helping others when needed and being considerate to our neighbors. When children of all ages observe their role models showing kindness, honesty, and respect to others, they themselves learn and practice these traits. This occurs with everything, children and students observe throughout life. Therefore, it's important that ALL adults realize that each action they take not only affects them but those around them as well. I have always tried to be an excellent role model for those around me and I hope that as a society, we can all work towards this rather simple goal because I know the world would be a much happier place if ALL people were kind and empathetic to each other. Don't you agree?

Literacy & Learning through Art and Play

2011-03-10T12:58:00.000-05:00

Art/Creative Ideas that allow children to learn, explore & express themselves while having FUN!
Fly Swatter Painting on Spring Scenes-
Supplies: White Butcher paper or large sheet, stickers (flowers, insects, etc.-foam or regular), paper, glue, scissors, paint, large trays, fly swatters (one per color), smocks, clothes pins, soap & water

Have children create a spring scene of flowers, butterflies and insects using stickers, scissors, paper and glue. Let this dry completely.
Hang the Spring scene on a chain link fence with clothes pins at child's height
place paint in trays (only cool or warm colors) and place by spring scene
have children put on smocks
place one fly swatter in each paint tray
tell the chidren they are going to swat the insects and paint with either warm or cool colors (review colors and show them how before you let them begin)
when the scene dries talk about the colors and how they blended together to form new colors explaining why these colors are cool or warm. Let the children tell you what they made and what they see to help them with their expressive language skills.

Rainbow Fish
Supplies needed: 'Rainbow Fish' books, circles, triangles, and other shapes, glue, old crayons (already grated for very young children) A bright warm sunny day

Read storybooks about the 'Rainbow Fish'
Discuss the story with the children. Ask them why the rainbow fish was special? Could they make a special fish?
Demonstrate how you can use different shapes to make a fish by combining ovals or circles with triangles, etc.
Let children create their own fish using any shapes they choose. The younger children may need you to have the shapes pre-cut, older preschoolers should be encouraged to cut out their own shapes. WE ARE NOT looking for perfection by an original creation by a child. Make sure you have them put their name on it.
Demonstrate what happens when you blend two colors like yellow and red, etc. Ask the child, what did we get? You can use paint, food coloring or colored paddles to illustrate color blending. Then tell the children they are going to create a fish that has colors that blend for them and they will have created a rainbow fish.
Have older children use large plastic graters to grate old crayons, use a vast variety of colors. Then have the children mix the colors. You may do the grating for younger children but let them do the mixing.
Place all the fish face up outdoors in the bright sunlight (about 80 degrees or warmer) Then have the children take their crayon mixture and sprinkle it all over their fish. Leave the fish outdoors for a couple of hours and the grated crayon pieces will melt onto the paper. Brink the fish in to dry over night.
The next day have children attach an eye and describe their fish to each other. You can also attach their fish to a large craft stick and have them create a puppet show retelling the 'Rainbow Fish' stories you read. You will reinforce emergent reading with retelling and expressive language when they describe their fish to one another. It's art with a literary twist.

Stay tuned for more ideas. If you are looking for a specific type of activity, send in a request.

Stages of Development with Pics

2011-03-04T11:28:00.000-05:00

What was that? Look at the curiosity and she wants to get into everything. Just wait until she can walk. She's ready to go . . . Allow children the space and freedom to use their senses to explore their world giving them opportunities to plant the initial seeds and brain wiring for all future learning during these formative years. Enjoy and have fun with them at this age! Watch their little minds absorb everything around them. (Infants)

What you want to know what I may be thinking? Well let's see, I am wondering what you are doing, if I am interested in what you're doing, or whether I want to do something else. Sometimes adults are just boring and I need to go off and explore on my own but I want to know that you are around to give me positive reinforcement and assurance for security. I need to know I can trust you and want to know that you are close but I want to do things all by myself. Sometimes my big sisters don't understand that and they want to invade my space. I wish they would just leave me alone so I can pick my own blueberries, dress my own dolls, draw my own pictures . . . I want to do it all by myself! And you are aware that at this age the world is mine, you are mine, everything is mine and I am not really interested in sharing what is mine. But that is normal for me, I am a toddler after all!

Oh yes! I am a princess and I do like to be in charge of the entire world if you let me. I like to dance and keep busy at all times. The world is never dull when I am around. I like to talk about everything and everything. Yes, I expect you to be listening and to follow my directions. I want to be the boss and I like to show everyone what I can do. Did you know I can do cartwheels? Hop on one foot? and much, much more? I am extremely busy and if you follow me all day long, I promise you will be tired at the end of the day or if not sooner- that is if you can keep up. Ha !Ha! See if you can . . . (Preschool)

I like to put things together and build things. I already know my colors and shapes. I can play cooperatively with others and I do not always have to be in charge but I still like to be the boss when I can. I don't like to clean up but I will if you give me the appropriate guidance and show me how you want me to do it. I am learning how to write letters and draw shapes. I know many letters of the alphabet and some of their sounds. I am learning directionality (ldft to right, top to bottom) which is important as I am an emergent reader in pre-k. I like to follow schedules and routines. When things are different, I can easily become confused and sometimes irritable but I do adjust. It's just difficult when I am expecting one thing and it doesn't happen. Do not make promises to me unless you can follow through and never, never lie to me or I will begin to not trust you. Use kind words and positive speech and I will understand. I like to be rewarded and receive positive reinforcement for my accomplishments. I am willing to learn and like to do things independently, so please do not do things for me. Let me do them myself! I am very opinionated at this age and yes I like to talk a lot. (Pre-K)

Toddler Activities

2011-03-01T12:00:00.001-05:00

Toddler's love to explore and have an endless curiosity to satisfy. Here are a few simple things you can do with little to no investment.

Where Did It Go? Play a simple hide and seek activity with a simple toy or object that the child has an interest in. Place it in different places and have the toddler look for it. Ask them to look high, low, under, between . . . and you are helping them learn simple position words that will plant a seed for future learning. They learn to follow directions, position words, and critical thinking
Peek-a-Boo Animals- Place a small blanket over the child's favorite stuffed animal or doll and show them how they can play peek-a-boo with their animals like you play with them. This helps to teach them independence as well as cause and effect.
Bucket Toss- For this activity you will need a large pot, bucket or bowl and either a soft ball, small stuffed animal or bean bag. Place the bucket on the floor and have the child toss the ball into the bucket. While this is happening help the child count, retrieve and try again, identify colors and shapes of the balls/buckets. You may use one ball or several. This helps the child with motor skills and colors/shapes/counting.
Music Count- All you need is a wooden spoon/durable surface or plastic bowl for each of you. Have the child copy your beat. During this activity you can count, sing, or sound out syllables of words for older children. This teaches the child rhythm, counting, eye-hand coordination, language/literacy(songs), following directions. After the child has mastered following you, let them be the leader and you copy them which helps with their feelling of autonomy. Modify the counting and rhythm activities by marching, walking, hopping or tip-toe to a beat or counting increasing gross motor development and balance.

Bugs or Hugs or Thugs

2011-02-28T21:00:00.001-05:00

It's okay for all children to be curious and explore nature's bugs.
It's okay for all children to gain comfort form hugs.
But it is not okay for children to become thugs!

Death of a child

2011-02-28T14:31:00.000-05:00

Death of a child is the worst thing a parent has to experience. It is devastating and leaves a whole in your heart forever. How do I know this? Fourteen years ago a drunk driver took the lives of two of my children and to this day I feel a loss; an emptiness. My daughter was pronounced brain dead at the age of eleven and my son had so much internal damage that he was pronounced dead at the scene. My eldest, was twelve and seriously injured but thrives today at the age of 26. It is this lonesome child that kept me sane. It's difficult to imagine how life would of been so different for us all especially my son to have his siblings. Fortunately, I am lucky to survived with my marriage in tact. Although there were a few rocky years that had to be worked through. Every person touched by children's lifes has experienced this loss as they were wonderfully active children and dearly missed by many. Some days are more difficult than others but some of the numbness has worn off through the years but the emptiness is still felt. Even though the tears do not come as often, they stil ldo flow. All it takes is a song, event, a special child... It is a lifelong sentence of sorrow. Now each night I look above and say a special prayer to my loving angels that have worked to help us through this difficult plight.