Children say the funniest things

What do you want to do in life?

2011-10-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

We had an online questionnaire to do with our 6 and 7 year olds. I read the questions and the child had to decide wether it was yes or no. Here are some of the questions and answers.
'Do you know how to make your self a better reader?'
'wear my glassess'
'Do you know what to do if someone bullies you?'
'Yes hit em back!'
'Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?'
'Yep a dad'
'Draw on papers like my dad'
'Be a cafe waitress'
'Do you want to go to university'
'yes'
'But do you know what university is?
'Yes a planet!'
'Do you know how to make yourself better at Maths?'
'Yes really look at the numbers'

It was hilarious, I just love kids!

Right angles

2011-07-01T06:53:00.000-07:00

We were working on 'right angles' in class. One of the questions which had to be answered was 'What is a right angle?' Children to write a few sentences explaining. One little boy came up to me and had almost finished his work apart from this question. He didn't know what to write. I asked him to tell me what a right angle was. He said 'Well it can be a right angle or a left angle!' I said 'Well that doesn't make sense and if I was an alien from another planet I certainly wouldn't know what a right angle was from that explanation. I said 'Pretend I am an alien, what could you say to me?' He said 'Well you are green and you have 8 legs!'

I give up! haha!

It's raining miss!

2011-06-11T05:44:00.000-07:00

I have always been amazed at the choice of words children come up with. On Thursday on leaving the staffroom I bumped into a small year 3 boy. The children had been sent in due to the downpour of rain.

'Hello Adam, how are you today?'

'Hello Mrs. P. yeah am alright....oh my god it's pissing down out there!'

'Erm Adam can you think of a better word than that?'

'Oh right, yeah it's raining!'

'Thank you that is so much better!'

Hate dancing but can do brilliant cartwheels

2011-05-17T09:19:00.000-07:00

A teacher told me this story the other day. He was about to do PE with his class of 7 year olds. One little boy asked what they would be doing. Teacher explained that they would be doing 'dance'.
Little boys face dropped and he said 'My leg hurts'
Teacher said 'Am sure it will be fine'
'But it really hurts' said the little boy.
'You really will be fine once we get upstairs and do our dancing, now go and line up at the door!'
With that the little boy cartwheeled to the door. So much for a poorly leg!

Bugger please

2011-05-17T09:14:00.000-07:00

During a guided reading session we were reading a book where a little boy has supper. I have several children with English as an additional language so I asked if they knew what supper was. One little boy didn't know so I explained that we sometimes have something to eat before bed and we call that supper. He then got excited and said 'I have supper!'
'Oh what do you have?' I asked.
'I have bugger!'
'What? bugger??'
'Yes!!! I have bugger!'
I was getting a bit worried so I asked him again.
'What's bugger?'
'You know Mrs P bugger and chips!'
The penny dropped! He meant burger! Oh dear I think we need to work on our ur sounds!

mmm lovely menu

2011-05-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

Back the Royal Wedding again, we were discussing in a class of 6/7year olds what would be a good Wedding Breakfast. The children had to design a 3 course menu. I asked one little girl what could we have for the main course.

She said 'Fish and Chips!'

I said 'That might not be the best thing for a posh wedding, but we could have fish. Can you tell me a name of a fish (I am thinking cod, haddock, salmon, tuna)?'
She said 'Nemo'
Well I suppose if you ask a stupid question then she was perfectly correct with her answer. I don't however, fancy Nemo and chips for my dinner!

Royal family

2011-04-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

With the impending Royal Wedding on Friday where all us British folk get a days holiday, we decided to use this wonderful learning opportunity to teach a bit of history. Lots of questions were asked of the children and we had some lovely answers.

'Who rules our country?'
'God'

'How do you get a prince?'
'When something marries a queen?'

'What is she wearing on her head?' (pointing to the crown)
'A hat'

Our younger children got a bit obsessed with death after being told that Princess Diana had died. With each member of the Royal family that was shown on the whiteboard the children were asking...
'Is she dead?'
'Is he dead?'

Another staff member mentioned that in her class they had some lovely prince names, including 'Prince Colin'!

I am looking forward to more stories tomorrow.

Triangles are green

2011-04-24T09:56:00.000-07:00

We were working on shapes with our 5 year olds. One of the games was to hide a shape and show a bit of it at a time to the children and they had to guess what the shape was. The idea being that they had to work out how many sides, corners etc. The class teacher was hiding the shape behind the board and she showed a bit at a time. A little girl whispered to me...

'I know what it is'

'Ooo what is it?'

'It's a triangle'

'Brilliant but how do you know?'

She looked at me as if I am stupid and rolled her eyes

'Well because it's green!'

So beware if you see a green shape then it has just got to be a triangle!

100 years or 2000 years what's the difference?

2011-04-24T09:44:00.000-07:00

Our class went on a visit to a museum. It is a museum of 'real life' so basically everything that was used in the home up until the present day. Eg. washing machines, irons, wedding dresses etc. Part of the museum is an old Victorian street with lots of shops. It is very authentic and lit with gas lighting. We went into a sweet shop where the lady was explaining how to get sugar out of sugar cane. Next to her was a massive cake, beautifully iced. It was obviously iced for royalty or the very rich.
'Who do you think this cake is for?' she asked.
lots of blank faces...then a little lad's hand shot up.
'I know, I know'
'Oh good who?' said the lady.
'BABY JESUS!'

Oh dear, nevermind he was close. 100 year or 2000 years there isn't THAT much difference is there?

Nativity fun

2011-04-22T06:09:00.000-07:00

Nativities always bring fun, laughter and tears. I remember one Christmas where we had quite a naughty boy in our class. Parents, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles were watching their little ones with tears in their eyes. So proud of their offspring. The children were nervous, excited and trying hard to remember their lines. Anyway this little boy was a sheep. I was in charge of the area behind the crib so I had all the lines ready to prompt any child that had forgotten. All was going really well until this little boy started getting a bit bored. I looked up from my script and there he was IN the crib. He had yanked baby Jesus out and tossed him to one side and climbed into the crib himself. It was very frustrating because he was just out of poking distance so I couldn't get too him without making a huge fuss. Eventually I managed to give him the look (any teacher or TA will know what that is) and he jumped out and put Jesus back. We did all have a laugh afterwards but at the time it was a matter of 'The show must go on'...regardless of who was in the crib...sheep or Jesus!

Your d is the wrong way round

2011-04-21T07:06:00.001-07:00

During phonics the children were writing words with the letter 'd'. I noticed one of my younger children aged 5 had written 'b' instead. I pointed out that his spelling was great but just to look carefully at that letter (pointing at the 'b') Is that the right way to write a 'd'? Could it be the wrong way round do you think? His reply...

'Oh shit!'

Underbrella

2011-04-21T01:30:00.001-07:00

I was working with a small group of children and we were looking at some picture cards and discussing what we could see. I pointed to a girl holding an umberella.

'What is this?'

'It's a underbrella!'

Now I think that is a much more sensible word for an umberella.

It's a toilet roll obviously

2011-04-21T01:29:00.001-07:00

The teacher was teaching the class about 3d shapes. She held up a several shapes and the children were very good and saying what the shape was. She then held up a cylinder and asked...
'What shape is this?'
A child put his hand up and said 'It's a toilet roll!'

Well it is isn't it when you think about it.

Garlic reading

2011-04-21T01:27:00.001-07:00

A child rushed excitedly up to the class teacher and asked 'Are we doing garlic reading today?'
She meant guided reading.

Questionation mark

2011-04-21T01:25:00.001-07:00

During guided reading I had been teaching the children about exclamation marks and question marks. A few days later I was doing a guided reading group and a 6 year old boy in my group got very excited when he saw a 'questionation mark' It was infact an exclamation mark! I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing and praised him for nearly getting it right.

It's so sunny

2011-04-21T01:24:00.001-07:00

During my phonics session with year 2s, the children were looking at the IWB. One little boy said to me 'Please can I get my glasses?'
'Of course you can' I replied (but also quite concerned because I didn't know he wore glasses)
'Where are your glasses?'
'They are in my drawer'
'Right go and get them then'
I continued with my lesson. I looked down at the little boy and there he is sitting looking intently at the Whiteboard with massive black sunglasses on.
'I dont think they are reading glasses are they?'
He smiled and said 'No they are for when it is sunny'
'Well it isnt sunny now is it? Put them back in your drawer!'
He had obviously got some new sunglasses and wanted to make use of them.

Big is so much easier

2011-04-21T01:23:00.001-07:00

During a spelling test I read a sentence with the word large in it then said I want you to write the word 'large'

A little six year old boy looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face and said very seriously...
'Can't I just write 'big?'

It would be so much easier wouldn't it?

Use your letter names

2011-04-21T01:22:00.001-07:00

I have been trying to get the children to actually say letter names instead of sounds when spelling a word out loud during my phonics lessons.
A little lad (aged 6) came up to me and said Jake just called me a k...n...o...b head.
Brilliant use of letter names but I did find it difficult to keep a straight face.

So tiring

2011-04-21T01:21:00.001-07:00

The children had white boards and pens and had to see how many times they could write their name in a minute. When the minute was up a little lad looked up at the teacher and said 'God I'm knackered!

Too noisy

2011-04-21T01:20:00.001-07:00

This story was told to me. There were two schools in our downstairs hall practising for a music competition. Lots of instruments played somewhat badly. It was extremely loud. When it stopped one of the Reception children (aged 4) said...

'Thank god that shit has stopped!'

Oh dear not a good choice of words there!

Who is Mary?

2011-04-21T01:19:00.001-07:00

We were introducing our Christmas songs to go with the nativity play to our children.
When asked 'Who is mary?'
A child put his hand up and said....'Mary Christmas!

Why not? Sounds good to me.

WOW ears!

2011-04-21T01:18:00.002-07:00

During Literacy we were working on 'WOW' words. Children had to think of interesting words to use when describing things. Our group were describing a tiger. I was scribing for the children.
One child said 'It's got small ears!'
'Yes it has well done, but can you think of a more interesting word than small?'
'It's got WOW ears!'

A bag of duff

2011-04-21T01:18:00.000-07:00

At playtime a little child (with speech problems) came up to me and said...

'Mrs. P can I have a bag?'

'A bag?'

'Yes a bag of duff'

'Duff?'

'Yes duff'

Child points to the playground equipment 'Yes duff'

'Oh you mean stuff!'

It brought a smile to my face.

Dikes?

2011-04-21T01:16:00.001-07:00

I was running the KS1 Level 3 Reading comprehension test. It was about the Netherlands. Non fiction text telling the children all about the Netherlands, dikes, flooding, windmills etc.

One of the questions was something like 'How did the villagers stop their village flooding?'

Child answered 'by having big dicks' (dikes)

She continued throughout the whole paper including the fiction part by talking about 'dicks'

I come by plane

2011-04-21T01:15:00.001-07:00

We have a very serious little girl aged 5 in our class. She doesnt smile much and seems quite mature for her age. We were looking at a 'chicken' poem today and putting actions to it. Anyway she very seriously looked at me and said

'I have seen lots of chickens hatch'
'Oh that's nice' 'Where have you seen them?'
'On my farm. I live on a farm'
'Oh I didn't know that, where is your farm? Do you come to school by car or do you walk?'
Girl looks at me straight in the eyes and said 'I come by plane' She nearly had me there, I believed all the farm story. What a sucker I am.