Okay don’t take the title of this post literally, I just used that to get your attention. It’s just word play with the quote “ignorance is bliss”. Anyway, Ramadan is over and if there’s one thing you definitely get out of it from a personal development perspective, it’s the ability to identify your own weaknesses/demons. That becomes more obvious because the devils are chained up, which allows us to become more aware of where we’re slacking.

What I realized in Ramadan was many of us, myself included, were joking and hyped up about how Shaytan is getting locked up. Who has the last laugh? on the DOJ, we can’t blame no one but ourselves for our shortcomings. The ayah from the Qur’an below says it all.

“And Satan will say when the matter has been concluded, “Indeed, Allah had promised you the promise of truth. And I promised you, but I betrayed you. But I had no authority over you except that I invited you, and you responded to me. So do not blame me; but blame yourselves. I cannot be called to your aid, nor can you be called to my aid. Indeed, I deny your association of me [with Allah ] before. Indeed, for the wrongdoers is a painful punishment.” – Qu’ran 14:22

This ayah really hits the heart, when it comes down to it, we can’t play the blame game. So long as Allah (swt) has given us the consciousness and freewill to make our own decisions when it comes to choosing between halal and haraam, then we need to take full responsibility. I continue to struggle with my own weaknesses, and undeniably Shaytan definitely try’s to exploit them.

That’s the personal battle and while each of us may not necessarily have the same battles, our source of help is ultimately the same. Alhumdulilah.

Most importantly, we can’t let our shortcomings get in the way of going back to Allah (swt). I hear stories all the time of brothers and sisters who feel depressed that they’ve committed a certain sin and often times Shaytan whispers into their hearts/minds that they’ve screwed up so bad, Allah (swt) won’t forgive them. That right there is a problem and it’s critical we provide the support so they don’t lose hope in Allah (swt)’s mercy.

To bounce back to the title, being ignorant is not iblis. Well unintentional ignorance at least. Iblis knew and disobeyed Allah (swt) out of his arrogance. Knowledge doesn’t mean nothing unless Allah swt out of his mercy guides us. That doesn’t mean we avoid seeking knowledge, that’s the first step in doing good.

As for the quote of Charles Baudelaire, iblis and his crew will continue to manipulate us by taking advantage of our weaknesses as means to getting us to slip up. Without being vigilant, having Taqwa and being in the company of the righteous, it’s tough. So let’s do what we gotta do insha’Allah.

One key lesson to take away today: “Indeed, there is for him (iblis) no authority over those who have believed and rely upon their Lord.” – Qur’an 16:99

We pray that Allah (swt) keeps us on the straight path, protects us from the whispers of Iblis, and gives us the strength to turn back to him no matter what situation we’re in. Ameen!

May Allah (swt) protect the innocent. Ameen.

The other day I was talking with one of my managers at work and we ended up discussing religion. He’s very philosophical, so he’ll say things like “there are many different ways to get to the top of the mountain”. I don’t climb mountains, I’m scared of heights. Definitely some Buddhist influence there.

Anyway, so we’re talking and obviously I mention Islam and he responds “oh yea, Islam, yea I have a lot of Muslim friends, they don’t eat pork or drink”.

Immediately, it got me thinking, how come whenever I mention Islam to a lot of my non-Muslim friends, the first thing that pops up in their mind is the dietary restrictions and not anything related to the 5 pillars.

Which leaves me with a couple of conclusions/assumptions:

1. Wherever they heard about Islam, that person that was conveying them the message prioritized those particular restrictions when talking about the deen, which is stupid.
2. Perhaps they’re so attached to pork and liquor, once they hear that, it’s the only thing that sticks in their mind and it’s enough for them to be like “chill, I don’t want to give none of this stuff up so becoming Muslim looks kind of tough.” Like Sheikh Hamza said, “we don’t drink liquor, we do dhikr”.
3. Since drinking is so common (happy hours) at or after work, I’m sure their are instances when non muslim co workers invite their Muslim co-workers and they aren’t interested, so it’s a shocker to them. Afterwards they’re thinking “wow, I can’t believer this dude doesn’t drink”.

Yea we don’t drink that rum, we drink the zum-zum.

So I thought about it some more, and to me it was troubling because assuming it’s the first thing their hearing about Islam, that’s counter-productive to giving Daw’ah. As Muslims, we gotta prioritize the creed, which is Tawhid.

Not to belittle anything that is ha’raam. However, we gotta take into context who we’re speaking to and what phase/exposure their at when it comes to the deen. Everything in Islam is important.

We need to prioritize when inviting people. Think about it, if a person hasn’t heard the message about the oneness of Allah (swt), then there’s no point in talking to them about not eating pork and telling them “hey, if you become Muslim, you gotta give this up asap”.

At that time, Islam in their minds becomes a very abstract thing that doesn’t accommodate people from all walks of life that are struggling with specific habits, whatever they maybe.

I hope that made sense, May Allah (swt) forgive me If I said anything that was off. May he guide us to the straight path and be exemplars of the Sunnah.

Please keep me in your dua’s, I will do the same for all of you, insha’Allah.

Wa’salaam

The other day I was with one of my friends and he got into a heated confrontation at a shop. His face looked liked he was turning into the hulk. If he didn’t walk away, he was surely going to duke it out. As someone observing and hearing the back and fourth verbal exchange, it wasn’t really worth it to get involved. Or as we say ” it’s not that serious”. Yea, a guy threatened my friend that he was going to beat him up and teach him a lesson. But I knew deep inside that wasn’t likely to happen.

Anyway, after my friend left to avoid a messy situation, I eventually caught up with him. He asked me “Why didn’t you say anything?, you’re supposed to”. In the midst of moments like this, we (humans) tend to side with those whom we’re close to. After thinking about it some more, I told him, I personally decided I wasn’t going to get involved with a foolish argument. It’s not worth the energy. Plus we just got out of Jumu’ah, so chill. Yea he’s close to me, but hey, that doesn’t necessarily mean I need to blindly participate.

Had the confrontation gotten physical, then obviously I wouldn’t just stand there like a statue. There’s a big difference between arguing with someone who you think is an idiot vs getting into a fight.

Now my friend quoted something that was very relevant. It was the hadith in which the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down”.

Alhumdulilah, good thing he stood up and left. Anyway, back to blind loyalty. We’re often put in situations where we will be tested on how we react. As believers, we should be taking the high road. I know it’s tough, put that’s the standard we need to put ourselves at. I’m the first person that needs to practice this.

But this deeper understanding needs to be instilled in our hearts, that just because we’re friends or family,  doesn’t mean we can’t be wrong and that we have to side with each other on every single issue. In this context, I felt my friend might have overacted in his verbal assault and it wasn’t worth adding more fuel to the fire.

As Muslims, we need to be unbiased and look at issues as they are. This brings me to my next topic, which is social equality. I recall the story of when Imam Ali (RA), during his caliphate, lost his armor and then he found it with some Jewish man who claimed it was his. Imam Ali (RA) brought the case before the judge who judged for the Jew based on the evidence he had. Imam Ali (RA) simply submitted to the judgment.

The example used above is in the context of Islamic law but the point is clear. That just because Ali (RA) was Muslim and the judge in court was Muslim didn’t result in Ali (RA) winning the case.

It’s common sense but favoritism, blind loyalty, these all are prevalent in our society in many different environments. We need to do a better job of being just, and coming to conclusions based on fairness & critical examination.

There’s no doubt that until you’re in a situation, it’s hard to say how you’re going to react. But we ask Allah (swt) out of his infinite mercy to keep us cool, calm and collected. More importantly, to keep us conscious of justice and looking at issues as they are before picking sides. Ameen!

I’ll end with a statement from Imam Tahawi (R) which sums up everything, “Only a fanatic follows another blindly!”

May Allah (swt) forgive me for any of my wrongdoings. Sometimes when you write, your mind can get very clouded and and shaytan can get in the way of flushing out your thoughts in a clear and correct way.

Jazak’Allah Khair everyone for your comments/feedback.

In the streets, they “Hustle + Muscle = Success”. Often times, it’s lines like this entrepreneurs can relate to when starting out any venture. Taking an idea and growing it to become a reality isn’t easy. It’s a constant struggle when you have limited resources and you have to be prepared to face any challenges. On top of that, most folks around you will write you off rather quickly. If you don’t become rich in a couple of months, all the negative sentiment and feedback will come rolling down at you like an avalanche.

For any of you who have done it or are currently considering starting your own, you probably understand what I’m saying. Anything you start from scratch which you hope to insha’Allah grow requires time, energy, and dedication. Whichever market you’re in, you’re going to have competitors. Understanding this, most companies try to secure some sort of competitive advantage.

However, when we speak about competition it’s usually in the context of sports or business. But I wanted to shift away and focus on an area in where we may not be cognitive of for healthy competition. And that’s competing against one another for good deeds and piety.

I’m not encouraging bragging of good deeds or a display of arrogance based on individual accomplishments. Some people argue that there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance, but a sound intention followed by the good deed works wonders. There’s no doubt shaytan likes to gas people up should they start doing some good. Knowing this, it’s important as believers we don’t get puffed up. With Allah swt all things are possible, at the same token, without Allah swt, nothing is possible.

The Sahaba’s (may Allah swt be pleased with them) often competed with each other in different ways.

Once the Prophet, asked them to give in charity, ‘Umar (RA) remarked, “At that time I had some money. I said, ‘Today I shall surpass Abu Bakr, if I am to ever surpass him on any day.’ I therefore brought half of my wealth. The Messenger of Allah asked: ‘What have you left for your family?’ I replied, ‘The same amount.’ Abu Bakr brought all that he had with him. The Messenger of Allah asked him: ‘What have you left for your family? ’He replied, ‘I have left Allah and His Messenger for them.

It’s important to know that there was no rivalry created out of this, Umar and Abu Bakr (RA) were essentially giving their money for the same purpose. When opportunities for good deeds arise, we should rush towards them. It only helps when you are surrounded with like minded individuals, this create an culture of healthy competition and actually nurtures brotherhood.

Allah (swt) is constantly opening doors, especially when we are exposed to seeing people who are less fortunate or going through tribulations, as much as it is a test for them, it’s certainly a test for us as well. Our level of responsiveness or negligence can really mean a lot in the hereafter.

I hope this made sense. I wanted to end a quote from Malik ibn Dinar (R) who said:

“Start a business worshiping Allah, and all types of profits will come to you without needing any capital.”

In conclusion, let’s strive to get on the real halal hustle so we can chill in Jannah with those who competed before in goodness.

May Allah (swt) purify our hearts and give us the ability to compete for good deeds without compromising our intentions, Ameen! Please keep me in your dua’s right now.

Until next time, Wa’salaam.

We hear it often, people say “success breathes success”. Whether it be in the context of a business, organization, or a captain of a team. Without true leaders, success doesn’t permeate. One thing that has constantly amazed me about these leaders is that they don’t show arrogance. Nor do they neglect or belittle any work that is being executed by the workers they manage. A combination of God consciousness and humbleness, keeps them in check.

One brother I know, that is a president of a non profit in NY, Masha’Allah, he is involved with every task you can think of, from strategy to tactical work, he leads by example. You would think that a president of such an organization would be busy in meetings and wouldn’t be involved with day to day tasks that are often deferred to people underneath his leadership. Or he wouldn’t find time to visit his volunteers. It’s not the case, and to me he embodies the true qualities of a leader.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) articulated this beautifully when he said:

“Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of the people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects: a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for his subjects, a woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and of his children and is responsible for them, and the slave of a man is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it. Surely, everyone of you is a shepherd and responsible for his flock.” Source: Sahih Bukhari 6719

The reason I put the verse from the Qur’an above is because often times, you find some individuals who claim themselves as “leaders”, get trapped in their own egotistic bubble as their organizations advance. They get too caught up in sending orders while chilling. Not practicing what they preach. They forget when things are going well, it was team work, or when things fail, they blame those who they manage. True leaders always thank Allah, then give others credit first when things are going well and take blame first when failures occur.

Being in a position of leadership is a big test, if you screw up, you take others with you. It’s no coincidence the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) produced extraordinary people like Abu Bakr, Umar, Ali (may Allah be pleased with them all). He wasn’t just telling others to feed the hungry, he was doing it himself. Actions speak louder than words, and when leaders rise to the occasion, they leave a lasting positive influence that continues.

I’ll end with a quote from Abu Bakr (R) when he elected as the Caliph:

“O People! I have been chosen by you as your leader, although I am no better than any of you. If I do any wrong, set me right. Listen, truth is honesty and untruth is dishonesty. The weak among you are the powerful in my eyes, as long as I do not give them their dues. The powerful among you are weak in my eyes, as long as I do not take away from them what is due to others.

May Allah (swt) give all of our leaders guidance. Ameen.

Please keep me in your dua’s. Jazak’Allah Khair.

The other day I was on the subway and I noticed an advertisement that immediately got me thinking about extremism in society. (Check it out below)

While the word “extremism” is usually talked about in the context of violence, we often fail to observe other areas in life where individuals or societies go to extremes and avoid moderation. Perhaps, the advertisement could have been even more blunt and rephrased as “Obsessive Compulsive Gambling Starts Here”.

What was even more disturbing was right next to this ad, another ad had the message “Live In The Moment”.

There’s no doubt marketers exploit human desires and directly blast messages to encourage extreme consumption. I remember a few years ago when I visited Las Vegas, thanks to a free trip my relatives took me on which was totally random.

I recall, walking through the casinos and not seeing any concept of time present in the minds of gamblers. There weren’t any clocks around and people were glued to their slot machines. The environment in these places are created to have people fully immersed, so I wasn’t totally surprised. What was even worst was if you lowered your gaze, you would see haraam fliers on the floor. Chill!

However, it wasn’t totally bad, they had a nice masjid not too far from all the fitna, where I ran into Nouman Ali Khan giving a Friday sermon. I’m never going back there again insha’Allah.

Anyway, getting back to finding moderation, Islam encourages us (mankind) to stay moderate in life and not transgress the boundaries. Allah (swt) has set up a balance in the world, and when we disrupt that balance, it only hurts us.

Personally, when I hear the words such as balance, moderation and normal also come to mind. Allah (swt) puts into context how moderation plays a role in the lifestyle of a believer in several contexts, one of which includes how we should spend our wealth. Check it:

“And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate”.

To bounce back to the casino example, gamblers are inclined to not spend their wealth moderately. Getting caught in habits like this puts a person in a vicious cycle where they aren’t conscious about consequences but rather seek immediate pleasure/instant gratification. 

In conclusion, as Muslims, we must avoid going to “extremes” if we desire to stay on the “sirat al mustaqim”.

*Insha’Allah I’ll be putting out another post related to this in the future as there is much more related to this topic. Sorry I haven’t been writing as of late, please keep me in your dua’s. May Allah swt reward all of you. Ameen.

We last left off at watching a sister handle some junior high school kids on the train. How did she take care of it, and how should you do the same in case you ever become a witness to bullying?

Well, when it comes to etiquettes, first and foremost, always keep in mind that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was the best of creation and we should strive to follow his example, bi’ithnillah. For the purposes of stopping bullies, it is important to be calm, respectful of everyone equally, but it is also necessary to be absolutely stern, because the bully needs to understand the seriousness of the consequences of their actions. So in order to strike the perfect balance, one must be both soft and strict at the same time.

Things to keep in mind:

DOs

1. Stop the bullying in its tracks. Try to make eye contact with the victim. After observing from a distance, whether or not you feel comfortable, get between the victim and the bully to stop farther interaction.
2. Point out what bullying is and its harms. The victim might not even realize they are being bullied, especially if it is being done by their “friend(s).” The bully might think it is okay to behave this way, but make sure they know it is not okay. Use simple language. (See below for examples)
3. Show support for the victim. The victim should get a sense of self-control. We do not want the victim to be ridiculed on a new front. We want the victim to leave the situation with their dignity intact.

DON’Ts

1. Do not immediately begin to ask the reasons for bullying.
2. Do not try to be a mediator by forcing the two sides to come to an agreement, or become friends. This is a long term issue and, again, we don’t want the victim to lose dignity in any of this.
3. Do not give the bully an attitude. You will not only lose their respect, but you will also forfeit the opportunity to change the bully. We must respect all human beings as human beings, and advise others to good and forbid evil, but this must be done with wisdom!

Some of us might even have been bullied in the past. So when you confront a situation like this as an outsider now, remember what it was like and try to understand what the victim of the bullying is going through. Imagine how embarrassing it must be for a complete stranger to step in for you. Also, try and understand the psychological and social implications so you can better explain them yourself when calmly reprimanding the bully.
• “It is not okay to bully anyone for absolutely any reason.”
• “Bullying can ruin another person’s life. No one wants to be responsible for something like that”
• “Do you know how many young people commit suicide because of bullying? Do you want to be held responsible for that?”
• “That behavior is absolutely unacceptable, bullying is traumatizing.”

Don’t worry about not sounding cool enough. The important thing is to have the bullying stop and to get the message across to the bully while supporting the victim.

What to do you think? What would include or take out from these suggestions? Have you ever been bullied or been a bully?

Looking forward to your responses inshaAllah!

So I commute a lot. Every once in awhile I witness the loud manifestations of young adults in junior high or high school on the train. Sometimes, I laugh in my head at the things I hear. Other times, I just shake my head and wonder what this world is coming to. Nothing I see or hear ever compels me to action.

Take the good and leave the bad, I say.

Well… a sister was on the train just yesterday when she witnessed a group of co-eds bullying/sexually harassing a kid who looked like he could be a South-Asian Muslim.

They took his hat from him, threw it back and forth, until one of the girls caught it and wouldn’t give it to him. He was clearly uncomfortable with the inappropriate touching and blowing kisses, but he laughed uneasily along with their taunts anyway. He pleaded with her, trying to bring the focus back to his hat. Eventually it got to the point where he was upset and had to move far from the group.. twice. One of the boys in the group would still go up to him, talk to him, then come back to the group making fun of him for being a prude.

How many young Muslim boys in his situation might have reacted differently, acting on the taunts and participating in vulgar activities instead of running away from them? My heart broke thinking, with the lens of hindsight of the typical high school experience, how this good kid will be stuck in a group of friends later on in life that he, because of peer pressure at this age, might just accept as American and normal. It really saddens me to see young kids, especially young Muslim kids, in this hyper-sexualized society having to deal with their peers, who, for more or less, have not learned any sense of morality or value for their own well being. But even many conservative, non-Muslim Americans feel the same way about the growing sexualization of our youth.

The underlying societal issues aside, what of the bullying? It must have been really uneasy watching the kid get picked on over and over again, even when he had moved away from the group several times. Eventually the sister walked across the train car to where he was sitting in hopes of giving him some friendly advice and a show of support (with the intention of doing it in the coolest, most un-embarrassing way possible, of course!).

As soon as she uttered her first few words, the four or five kids from his group shuffled over to tease him again, continuing their vulgar taunts. So she had enough and just gave them all a polite, mini-lecture on sexual harassment and bullying. They all got off at the next stop and just before leaving, the sister apologized because she didn’t want to embarrass him. The young man, surprisingly, thanked her.

Did the bullies learn anything from the sister? With the eye-rolling one of the girls was giving her, we can’t really know for sure. At least the sister didn’t just sit there and watch…

Some discussion points:
1. Should the sister have intervened? How would you have dealt with the situation differently?
2. Are you a Muslim teenager, or do you have teenage siblings/cousins, going through similar situations? How do you handle being bullied and/or being sexually harassed while balancing your deen?
3. How do we instill a sense of self-worth and confidence in the young adults of our ummah?

Comment below insha’Allah!

(Part Two: The Etiquette’s of Not Minding Your Own Beeswax… coming soon!)