Right-click and choose “Save target as…” or “Save link as…” if you want to download the file to listen to later.

(NOTE: email subscribers, please use this link to download the audio file.)

You can skip to 2:00 if you want to get past the suspenseful intro.

In addition to some very dramatic background music swells, in this radio show you’ll hear the following tidbits:

• Adrian and Albert referred to as “The Double A” (2:50)
• Albert repeatedly referred to as Adrian’s “partner” (the Chinese don’t know the other connotations that go with that word nowadays)
• Adrian saying the only reason he wanted Albert to come was to be his personal translator (4:40)
• Blueberry insinuating that we embezzled money from our charity street performing (10:50)
• Blueberry getting the name of the “quite famous” TV show wrong. She said we were on Yǒng zhě zǒng dòng yuán 勇者总动员 which is another TV station’s obstacle course show, but we were actually on Zhì yǒng dà chōng guān 智勇大冲关 – click here to watch (12:50)
• Adrian’s shocking admission that he “first left home” in 1998 (18:20) when we was seven years old (19:30)
• Adrian blaming Albert’s busy schedule for our lack of progress on the book (21:40)
• Blueberry admitting the only reason she invited Adrian on the show was to get a free book (22:00)
• (We cut out the song from “Vampire Diaries”, just so you know what that little non sequitur was if you listened to Blueberry’s Chinese spiel at the end)

But seriously folks, we actually have started writing the book and we’re going to submit the book proposal to some publishers before the end of this semester. We’ll continue posting any updates about the book on this blog.

Our interview was edited down from 2 minutes to about 20 seconds (they’d cut us down to allow more time for the next contestant who drank a whole bottle of beer through his nose!) and we soon found that the host had got a bit confused about our trip:

“And now we would like to introduce two foreign teachers from Guangdong Peizheng College” announced the male host in Chinese. “They are Albert and Adrian. Without spending any money, these two teachers have gone from Urumqi to Guangdong!” (We think he got confused about the hitchhiking challenge we had just told him about.) And just to make sure everyone misunderstood, a large Chinese subtitle flashed across the screen, “Not spending any money, from Urumqi to Guangdong”!

Adrian rolled the dice, aiming as all the contestants do, to get a “3”. This would mean that if we got past the turntables, we would win a prize! It was then time to tackle the course. By clicking on the link below you’ll see how we did.

(Our interview starts at 4:29 but we appear at various times during the show’s intro segment.)

Video Below (email subscribers click here)

Adrian’s only excuse is that it’s a lot harder than it looks on TV, at least that’s his story and he’s sticking to it! “Be careful! Stand up quickly!” the female host shouted as he fell before he even reached the first hurdle! “Oh! He should have done better than that! He’s so tall!” the other host said in disbelief!

In contrast, as Albert tackled the course, the host can be heard saying, “Albert, you’ve got the prize! We can give him the water heater! Can he upgrade the prize? Oh, he fell! He had the disinfection cabinet for a moment and now he has to give it back!”

Hope you enjoy the show as much as we did!

(There’s a full transcript of everything that was said in Chinese as well as the Chinese subtitles that periodically flashed up on the screen coming soon.)

Despite this being one of the students’ favorite challenges for us, we always expected to fail especially since, in our combined 10 years in China, neither of us have ever seen one. Girls taller than 190 cm (6′ 3″) aren’t really that easy to find in any country.

It’s widely accepted that northerners are taller than southerners. But even when we were north of the Yangtze River (the traditional dividing line between the North and South), we scanned the horizon for candidates but found none. We were constantly on the lookout for anyone who exceeded Albert’s height, but in the end only found four boys who were tall enough.

In the end, we just ran out of time because the filming of the TV show was on day 29 and we had to come back to our college from Changsha the next day. We’d been advised by a few people to seek out professional athletes (especially basketball and volleyball players), but even if we’d had a chance to do that there was no guarantee (only four of China’s national women’s basketball team are taller than Albert).

But, we did snap a backup picture along the way (see below) just in case we came up short on this challenge. Maybe the students will let us pass when they see the photo. But even if they don’t, we still beat the fortune tellers’ predictions that we’d only accomplish 9 of our 15 challenges.

Final Stats for the Trip:

• Challenges completed: 12 of 15
• Total days: 30
• Total distance traveled: over 7000 km (4350 miles)
  • (As the crow flies, that’s about the distance of London to New Delhi or Anchorage to Washington DC)
• Total provinces visited: 11 (Xinjiang, Gansu, Qinghai, Shaanxi, Sichuan, Chongqing, Hubei, Anhui, Jiangxi, Hunan, Guangdong)
• Different modes of transportation after start: 12 (bicycle, boat, bus, donkey cart, motor bike, mini van, private car, semi / lorry , SUV / 4×4, taxi, tractor, train, tricycle taxi)

What Happens Next?

We’re going to spend the next months writing the book. This blog has just given brief glimpses into the stories that we’re looking forward to telling. We’ll put any updates about the book on this same blog so subscribers will automatically receive book news.

Thanks to everyone who followed our trip and especially thanks to all the generous, warm-hearted Chinese people who helped us along the way!

Photo (click to see the full image)

(To see caption, please visit the website)

It's the best we could do

(Click on them to see the full image. Click a second time to zoom in.)

Challenge 14: Appear on TV.

Hunan province is famous for Chairman Mao’s hometown…and a TV show aired all over China where contestants tackle an obstacle course and almost always end up falling dramatically into the water (click here for the official website for the show, all in Chinese). We’d hitch-hiked for 2 days to get here and it wasn’t because of Mao.

After going to the TV centre and getting ourselves invited for an interview, we were immediately accepted onto the show to be filmed 2 days later. We’d seen it on TV many times and always thought how easy it looked, but a quick tour of the course revealed how much harder it is in real life. We should have known that any obstacle course involving a pole vault would be tricky! In fact it was hard just walking up the ramp to the start!

We were told to turn up for filming with our back-packs and a map so the presenters could interview us about our trip. With the cameras rolling, Albert did an amazing job fielding all their questions in Chinese before we both serenaded the female presenter. Once the formalities were out of the way, it was time to meet our fate on the obstacle course.

While we both ultimately failed and ended up in the water, we met with somewhat different endings. One of us drew gasps from the audience by falling at the very first hurdle and landing flat on his face, while the other went on to win a small consolation water heater! You’ll have to wait to find out who was who, but we’ll send out the link to the show as soon as it’s aired.

[UPDATE: The show has aired and you can watch it here.]

Photos (click on them to see the full image)

(To see captions for each picture, please visit the website)

Videos

(To see video, please visit the website)

Challenge 13: Hitchhike between two cities for less than the cost of the bus fare.

Huangshan was not only one of the first places we’d been to without a train station, it was also off the main bus routes. This, coupled with the stunning rural setting, made it the perfect place to attempt our hitch-hiking challenge.

We’d both been looking forward to this challenge although to be honest we didn’t know if it was even possible. Neither of us had ever seen a hitchhiker in China, let alone a foreign one. One lady we spoke to told us, “You’ll never do it. You’re foreigners so no-one will stop because they’ll be afraid of you.”

Just to make things harder, our destination, Changsha, was over 500 miles away – that’s the same as Phoenix to Salt Lake City and more than the length of England!

We left armed with paper and marker pens for making signs for towns to aim for along the way. We also had a flattened cardboard box with the words “To Changsha” written on it by Mr. Xie, our calligraphy teacher. With no idea how long our journey would take us, we started out early from outside our hotel.

Amazingly, within 30 seconds, two newlyweds stopped their car. “We’ll take you to the next town for 80 yuan” they offered. It was an expensive start, despite bargaining them down a bit, but we were unsure if any other vehicles would stop so we hopped in. “Impossible! No way you’ll make it!” the young husband said when we told him our plan. But actually it was the start of an incredible 2-day adventure that took us all the way to Changsha.

In total we took 7 rides: 3 trucks, 2 cars, a minivan, and a 4×4. We met a fascinating and diverse bunch of people and from the second ride onwards no-one wanted any money at all. It was a very fun 2 days which gave us some great stories to tell, including one of the biggest surprises of our whole trip (and it wasn’t that we almost got struck by lightning!).

You’ll have to watch the videos on our website to find out what happened and also see the near miss with the lightning.

Challenge Progress

Photos (click on them to see the full image)

(To see captions for each picture, please visit the website)

Videos

(To see video, please visit the website)

(Click on them to see the full image. Click a second time to zoom in.)

Challenge 12: Learn about Chinese calligraphy and write your Chinese names.

Huangshan (Yellow Mountain) is not only one of China’s most beautiful spots, it has also had a strong influenced on Chinese art. The breathtaking scenery of rugged stone peaks dotted with pine trees is re-created in many years of traditional paintings. Even today, artists come from all over the world to immerse themselves in the scenery and find inspiration, so where better for us to study one of China’s most famous art forms – calligraphy.

We woke up at 5am to beat both the tour groups and the sun up the mountain. Our hope was to find artists working near the summit. Instead we only found dozens of incredible men whose job it is to carry supplies up to the hotels on the peak. They walk up the steep path – 4 miles of steps – once a day, carrying loads of around 165 pounds  (12 stones). It takes them around 5 hours and their strength is simply amazing.

We had to wait until the evening when we were back in the town to find our artist. Mr. Xie, a nationally renowned calligrapher, took great pride in unrolling his work and spreading it out on the floor as he explained his various techniques. We learnt such interesting facts as the thinner brushes are made from goat hair and the thicker ones are made from wolf fur.

Under Mr. Xie’s guidance we enjoyed having a go ourselves and he politely said he was impressed with our efforts. More than anything, it was a relaxing experience; one which Mr. Xie says he does for up to 2 hours every evening before bed in order to sleep well. After our tiring day on the mountain, we did too.

Challenge Progress

Photos (click on them to see the full image)

(To see captions for each picture, please visit the website)

Videos

(To see video, please visit the website)

Challenge 11: Visit a nursing home.

“Where to?” the taxi driver asked us.

“Are there any nursing homes in Yíchāng?” we asked him.

“Lots.”

“Great. Take us to any one of them.”

We were turned away from two government-operated nursing homes with our gift box of fruit still in hand before the taxi driver found us a small, private “tuō lǎo yuàn” (support old center) that welcomed us with big smiles.

We were moved when we heard the story of how Mr. Liú and his wife opened “Long Life” nursing home ten years ago and have selflessly taken care of the elderly residents who have come to stay with them ever since. When we asked if they ever have time off, they said, “How could we take time off? Who would take care of our residents?” Just to clarify that they hadn’t had a single day off in the past ten years, we asked when their last vacation was. They looked at each other for a few moments and replied, “Well, we used to have two days off on weekends at our previous job.”

The owners and residents couldn’t have been more welcoming. We chatted with a 40-year-old woman visiting her 53-year-old brother and heard the story of how he came to stay at “Long Life.” We also chatted with a 91-year-old woman, who insisted we just call her “Grandmother,” about some of the changes she’s seen in China since her birth in 1919.

This is yet another chapter of the book we can’t wait to write and another experience we’ve filed in the already teeming folder labeled: “Challenges that far exceeded our expectations.”

Photos (click on them to see the full image)

(To see captions for each picture, please visit the website)

Video

(To see video, please visit the website)

Challenge 10: Win three games of Mahjong in a row.

“My father has lost a lot of money because of it. More than 1000 yuan RMB (100 pounds or 150 dollars) a night is common.”

“My brother’s wife was addicted to it and it caused the end of their marriage.”

Question:

The above stories were told to us by people we’ve met on our trip. What was the cause of their problems?

(a) drugs
(b) alcohol
(c) Mahjong

Answer:

Well, as you may have guessed from the title of our challenge, it’s Mahjong. While these are of course extreme cases, there is no denying that the popular Chinese game is a national obsession, especially with older women. We took a 3-day cruise through the Yangtze River’s three gorges with the aim of finding out why.

We spent the evening of the first day learning how to play from our cabin-mates – 3 medical students from China’s top university in Beijing. We then took what we’d learnt out onto the streets at one of the small towns we stopped at along the river and challenged some old ladies. They continued our education with a ruthless lesson in how to lose every game.

By the time the final night came, we were as ready as we’d ever be to enter the ship’s on-board gambling room and take on some serious players. We agreed the stake (very low!) and amid a smokey atmosphere, which was so bad we resorted to wearing face masks, we played the Chinese at their own game.

And actually we made a dream start, somehow winning both of the warm up games! We were on a roll, our luck was in and surely nothing could stop us. But once we started playing for money everything changed. Out of the 22 games we played, we won only once!

We eventually left the room still wondering just why so many people are obsessed with Mahjong and having predictably failed the second challenge of the trip!

Photos (click on them to see the full image)

(To see captions for each picture, please visit the website)

Videos

(To see videos, please visit the website)