Chinatown Kid

Coming Soon...

2011-02-27T18:58:00.000-08:00

Saturday Morning Silliness Part Fifteen...

2011-01-28T22:55:00.000-08:00

Saturday Morning Silliness Part Fourteen...

2011-01-27T01:38:00.001-08:00

I Love My Noodles!

2011-01-26T21:59:00.000-08:00

Vifon Phu Gia Mien Cua

I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is this; this instant noodle was a tremendously pleasant surprise. It’s a crab flavored soup, with vermicelli noodles, and some dehydrated vegetable product, but I wasn’t expecting much really.

The broth is excellent, one of the best I’ve had in a very long time. It really does taste of the sea and I was really surprised to see that among the ingredient list were such things as crab, shrimp, and fish. Yes, the real stuff, not artificial crab flavor, and other things of that such.

Now for the bad news, I really don’t like the vermicelli, they’re mung bean noodles, and boy are they ever tough and chewy. The directions say to let the noodles sit covered in the boiling hot water for three minutes, but this does not appear to be long enough for the noodles to properly cook, so let it sit longer, and you might find the finished product a bit more satisfying.

I must say, I’ve been finding that a lot of the best instant noodles on the market are the ones made by Vifon, and I plan on trying even more of their products in the future.

Sick, Disturbing, and Shocking...

2011-01-26T19:59:00.000-08:00

Dr. Lamb (1992)

In the early to mid-nineties, a series of ultra gory, very disturbing, and downright gross movies came out of Hong Kong. They were generally referred to as category three true crime movies. The most infamous and perhaps earliest example of these movies was Dr. Lamb. Some might argue that the Untold Story was the most infamous of these films, but Dr. Lamb was certainly the first, and it had a major impact on the entire Hong Kong film industry. Like many other countries, Hong Kong’s film community rewards any successful film with a ton of rip-offs, and in the case of this movie, the public was rewarded with a great flood of gross, ugly, and very inhumane horror movies featuring very depraved killers engaging in some really sick behavior.

In fact, by comparison, some of the stuff that followed Dr. Lamb makes this movie seem downright tame in retrospect. That said; this film is still shocking nearly twenty years later.

Dr. Lamb features Simon Yam as a cab-driving killer that hunts women. He kills them, photographs their dead bodies in various poses, and eventually starts having sex with the dead bodies. He gets caught when he goes to get the photos developed, which I must say is the dumbest move I’ve ever heard of, the fact that supposedly that is how the actual case got cracked in reality, earns the real life killer a place in the hall of fame of the world’s dumbest criminals.

Simon Yam’s performance coupled with the co-direction of both Danny Lee and Billy Tang is what makes this movie work. Simon Yam is absolutely over-the-top in this movie; his performance takes the term maniacal to a brand new level. When he started howling in a certain scene, I knew he’d gotten way too much into character. But, I say that as a compliment to the thespian, not as a knock on his acting skills.

Once he is caught, the film turns into a series of torture sequences that are shocking to say the least, not just the torture that Yam performed against his victims, but the torture that the cops perform on Yam to get him to confess to his crimes. This is something that seems okay in Hong Kong films, the crowd tends to cheer when a villain is getting beaten to a pulp, with his hands tied, and totally lacking in the ability to defend himself. It’s hard to properly describe these scenes, they are the kind of thing you’d never see in an American movie, and they are sort of unique to this sub-genre.

I hate to give a negative review to this movie, not only because it is kind of a classic of this bizarre sub-genre, but also because it seems very apparent to me that the filmmakers were trying very hard to make something worthy of praise. I also feel a bit hypocritical because I could easily turn around and give a good review to a million equally repulsive movies, but in this case, it didn’t work for me.

Saturday Morning Silliness Part Thirteen...

2011-01-26T01:23:00.000-08:00

Saturday Morning Silliness Part Twelve...

2011-01-25T00:13:00.001-08:00

Saturday Morning Silliness Part Eleven...

2011-01-24T11:08:00.000-08:00

Saturday Morning Silliness Part Ten...

2011-01-23T00:21:00.001-08:00

Mystery Fire...

2011-01-23T00:13:00.000-08:00

Island of Fire (1990)

Despite the low opinion that Jackie Chan himself holds of this film, I still recommend it, and I’ve actually enjoyed multiple viewings of this movie. First off, let me say what this film is not, it is not a Jackie Chan movie. Yes, Jackie is in it, but nothing about it resembles a typical Chan film, and it’s best to watch it as an all-out action movie, with a star-studded cast, and a few interesting plot twists.

Island of Fire is a prison drama, the real star of the movie is Tony Leung Ka Fai, he plays a cop that uncovers a plot involving prisoners that have been executed re-emerging as very much alive, and committing assassinations. To get to the bottom of the mystery, Tony gets himself arrested, and thrown into prison. While behind bars, Tony finds that nothing is as it seems, and the closer he gets to the solution of the mystery, the more puzzling things become.

Amongst the prisoners are Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, Jimmy Wang Yu, and Andy Lau. Each of them do fine in their roles, but only Sammo, and Wang Yu have anything resembling something more than an extended cameo.

Director Chu Yen-Ping has been attached to some fairly loopy movies over the years, compared to some of his other work, Island of Fire will seem fairly tame, and straightforward.

Yep, You Guessed it, More Noodles...

2011-01-22T22:21:00.001-08:00

Indomie Meat Ball Flavor Instant Noodles

Okay, this isn’t bad really, I mean it tastes okay, but this ranks fairly low for me on the flavor-meter. The noodles are pretty standard ramen; the broth is pretty light, although it does contain chili powder, and a heavy dose of MSG. I’m not entirely certain what they meant by Meat Ball Flavor, but the ingredients did include artificial beef flavor, so that should tell you something.

Indomie is an Indonesian company and I just wanted to add that I didn’t feel all that great when I did a web search on them and the term ‘Indomie recall’ suddenly came up. I mean, I just finished a bowl of this stuff, and I don’t want it coming back to haunt me.

Enter the Zone...

2011-01-22T21:58:00.000-08:00

SPL: Sha Po Lang AKA Kill Zone (2005)

Director Wilson Yip has emerged as the new champion of Hong Kong action cinema. Much of his success has come from a fruitful partnership with martial arts actor Donnie Yen and this particular movie was the project that first brought these two men together.

The story centers around a group of detectives who are attempting to bring down a powerful crime lord. The leader of the detectives is played by Simon Yam and the crime boss is portrayed by Sammo Hung. Yam has been diagnosed with a fatal brain tumor and is stepping down from the police force. His replacement comes in the form of Donnie Yen who finds that not only does he have Hung to worry about, but corruption within his own ranks as well.

The film works on many different levels, both action oriented, and dramatic. In essence, the movie is actually more of a morality tale, and the martial arts action was an afterthought.

But, it is the action that really sells the movie, and I’m glad to say that the film delivers on that front. Donnie Yen shines, Sammo Hung proves that even after a career that has stretched over five decades, he still has it, and Wu Jing is a real scene stealer in at least one fight.

Check it out and see for yourself.

When Hammer meets Shaw…

2011-01-22T20:33:00.001-08:00

The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974)

This is one crazy, but highly entertaining hybrid of a movie, and I can’t recommend it enough. Consider this, a vampire horror movie, mixed with a traditional kung fu action flick. The final product is this; the Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires.

This was actually a co-production between Britain’s Hammer Studios and Hong Kong’s Shaw Brothers film company. It was co-directed by Roy Ward Baker and Chang Cheh, so you can expect it to work on both the horror level, and the action front.

Dracula travels to China, joins forces with a group of Chinese vampires, and terrorizes the country side. This leads to Peter Cushing (as Professor Van Helsing) teaming up with David Chiang and doing all that they can to eliminate the bloodsucking terrors.

Fun on a multitude of levels and highly imaginative, the movie is well-worth seeking out.

Fists and Philosophy...

2011-01-22T19:02:00.000-08:00

Circle of Iron (1978)

I’ve often wondered how this film would have turned out if it had been made as originally intended. The story was written by the team of Bruce Lee, Stirling Silliphant, and James Coburn. The original intention was to make the movie in 1969, with Coburn, and Lee in the starring roles. This would have been interesting, but it never happened, and by chance, David Carradine got ahold of a copy of the script nearly a decade later, and went about the process of getting the film made with the roles that were originally intended for Bruce Lee played by Carradine himself. Anyone familiar with the history of the Kung Fu TV series; should find this little fact rather ironic, and perhaps even a bit humorous.

Carradine actually portrays four characters, the Blind Man, the Monkey Man, Death, and Changsa, but he is technically not the main character, or the star for that matter. The star is actually Jeff Cooper in the role of Cord the Seeker. Cord is a warrior on a quest to find a mythical book that contains all of the knowledge in the world. As he finds his way to the book, he is challenged by the Monkey Man, Death, and Changsa. He also gains wisdom from the Blind Man, who teaches his lessons in the form of riddles, and the kind of dialogue that one would expect from Confucius, Yoda, or the Buddha.

Although hardly a classic, or even a particularly good movie. Circle of Iron works as a sort of philosophical adventure movie. If you’re able to get on its wavelength, you will find that it has a certain charm to it, but for the most part, it is lacking on almost every other level.

Saturday Morning Silliness Part Nine...

2011-01-22T17:20:00.000-08:00

Saturday Morning Silliness Part Eight...

2011-01-21T13:06:00.000-08:00

Saturday Morning Silliness Part Seven...

2011-01-20T00:21:00.000-08:00

The Adventure Never Continued...

2011-01-20T00:16:00.001-08:00

Remo Williams: the Adventure Begins (1985)

Yep, the adventure began, unfortunately it never continued, and to me that was a real shame. Yes, this is another guilty pleasure. But, then again, one could say this entire blog is made up of nothing but guilty pleasures, and to me those are the best kind.

This was an attempt by executive producer Dick Clark (yes, that Dick Clark) to create an American answer to James Bond, by adapting Warren Murphy and Richard Sapir’s popular series of Destroyer novels for the screen, this was merely the first in what would have been an ongoing series of movies, and since this did so poorly at the box office, the rest never followed. Which is unfortunate really; because despite most of the negative reviews that this film received, this was actually a really fun movie, and I would have loved to see the series continue on.

Since this was the first movie in the proposed franchise, it’s basically the origin story, and as such it works very well. A rather large chunk of the flick is comprised of rather brilliant, hair-raising, and in many cases funny training sequences.

In fact, it is the humor that makes the movie work, and this film does contain a considerable amount of it. Most of that humor is delivered in the form of the rather witty banter between the two leads and their odd sort of love/hate relationship.

Fred Ward is Remo Williams, a former cop who has his death faked, and is given a new face. All of this is done without his permission by a shadowy organization, supposedly only answerable to the President of the United States, and it is made abundantly clear to the man that is now known as Remo Williams that if he doesn’t accept his fate, he can be permanently eliminated.

That said; Remo is placed under the tutelage of Chiun the Korean master of a deadly martial arts style known as sinanju, Chiun is wonderfully played by Joel Grey in what could only be called yellow-face, and despite the politically incorrect nature of the casting, Grey is the real heart, and soul of the movie.

Sinanju is the art of assassination, more to the point, assassination that is made to look like natural causes. The training sequences are quite imaginative and in some cases absolutely insane.

Chiun and Remo don’t exactly like each other and their relationship is the most entertaining aspect of the movie. Both Joel Grey and Fred Ward are quite enjoyable in their performances. Plus, they are ably supported by the pleasing presence of Wilford Brimley as the head of the organization, and Kate Mulgrew as an army major that has been asking the wrong questions, and making the wrong enemies. Speaking of enemies, Charles Cioffi does a fine job in the villainous role of George Grove.

Although the film was not a hit, wasn’t exactly embraced by the critics, and is mostly forgotten. I liked it and if you allow yourself to be taken in by its charms, you might like it too.

Dumb Fun...

2011-01-19T23:13:00.000-08:00

The Perfect Weapon (1991)

Okay, I’ll admit it; this is what I’d call a guilty pleasure. It’s not a great movie by any standard, but it entertained me, and I’ve actually watched it a number of times. So, it’s worthy of multiple viewings.

Jeff Speakman stars as a kenpo expert that comes to the aid of an old friend played by the late Mako. Mako is Kim, Kim is being threatened by the local Korean crime-lords, and Jeff steps in to put an end to the situation. Unfortunately, things go from bad to worse, and Kim ends up murdered. Convinced that he needs to take justice into his own hands, Speakman seeks to find Kim’s killer, and exact his revenge. But, Jeff’s estranged brother is a cop, and he’s been assigned to the case. This only makes Jeff’s plans more difficult to execute.

In reality, Speakman is a very accomplished practitioner of kenpo, and it shows on screen. His skills are quite impressive and this was one of the first movies to highlight the kenpo style of martial arts.

In all honesty, this is fairly mindless entertainment, and the filmmaking is no-frills at best. Then again, nobody watches a movie like this expecting anything more than action, and in that sense the film delivers. Nothing spectacular, but still lots of fun; the Perfect Weapon is a perfect time killer.

The Perfect Movie for a Party...

2011-01-19T22:25:00.000-08:00

The Deadliest Art: the Best of the Martial Arts Films (1990)

This documentary is really nothing more than a compilation of scenes from various martial arts movies, most of which are Golden Harvest productions, and the bulk of it is quite excellent. It features profiles on all of the usual suspects, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, and Jean-Claude Van Damme to name but a few.

It is hosted by John Saxon; his involvement seems to be due to his supporting role in Enter the Dragon, and little else. He does a pretty good job, but almost anyone could have fit the bill, and a true martial arts film expert would have been a better choice. But, I will admit, that is really just a minor complaint, and there are plenty reasons to watch this movie otherwise.

Along with footage from such movies as the Big Boss, Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain, Dragons Forever, Project A, Shanghai Express, and of course Enter the Dragon. It also has interviews with Jackie Chan, Cynthia Rothrock, Robert Clouse, and Sammo Hung among many others.

Since there is no plot, it works only on the strength of the footage used, and most of it is quite good. This is a great movie for parties, because you really do not need to pay close attention to it, and it will grab your eyes when it really matters.

Woo Goes Hollywood...

2011-01-19T20:47:00.001-08:00

Hard Target (1993)

After the Killer and Hard Boiled enjoyed some success in America, director John Woo found himself being approached by Hollywood to turn his attention from Hong Kong cinema, to American action movies. Unfortunately, his entry point into Hollywood filmmaking meant that he would have to work with Jean-Claude Van Damme as his star, and the creative stumbling block of the Motion Picture Association of America, who forced Woo to make several cuts to the finished product so he could secure an R rating. What we were left with in the end is a mildly entertaining, but hollow, and fairly lifeless movie.

Hard Target features Van Damme as a homeless man with exceptional martial arts skills, who is hired by Yancy Butler to help her uncover the facts behind her father’s murder, and hopefully bring the killers to justice. The film opens with the aforementioned murder and shows us a game of human hunting. All of this is arranged by Lance Henriksen and Arnold Vosloo who hire homeless men to play the hunted, while wealthy men pay for the privilege of being the hunter. If the hunted can escape they earn $10,000, if they don’t, they die.

The movie works very well on one level, it’s a stylish, and action-packed thriller. But, it is also vastly inferior to the average John Woo film, and his talents are wasted here. For a Van Damme flick, it’s one of his best, but there are not many other decent Van Damme vehicles to compare it to, and as such that’s not saying much.

Dramatic Dragon...

2011-01-19T19:55:00.001-08:00

Heart of the Dragon (1985)

A flawed, but touching drama, Heart of the Dragon is an interesting change of pace for Jackie Chan, and Sammo Hung. Although far from one of the better films to come out of the team Jackie and Sammo, it did earn some prestige for both of them, as Chan was nominated for best actor, and Hung for best director at that year’s Hong Kong Film Awards.

Jackie plays a cop who is faced with the challenge of having to care for his mentally handicapped older brother who is portrayed by Sammo Hung. The action doesn’t really kick in until Sammo is kidnapped by gangsters and Chan is forced go into hero mode. The bulk of the movie is dramatic in nature and the film actually works best with those elements, not the action, which seems tacked on, and slightly forced too.

Heart of the Dragon is not necessarily a bad movie, but it is not exactly a great one either, and it probably will not appeal to most of Jackie Chan’s fans. That said, it is rather worthy of a look though, if for no other reason than to see a surprising turn from the two stars.

Saturday Morning Silliness Part Six...

2011-01-19T00:06:00.000-08:00

Stylish Filmmaking at its Best...

2011-01-18T23:13:00.000-08:00

Full Contact (1992)

If the idea of watching Chow Yun Fat playing a hardcore biker sounds a bit odd, trust me, it works, and he further proves why he is one of the coolest actors in the world. He exudes toughness, charm, and swagger throughout, and if for no other reason than that, all Chow fans must see this movie. That said; Full Contact is an absolutely wonderful revenge drama, loaded with awesome action sequences, and plenty of enjoyable moments.

The story is sinfully simple, Chow enters into a shaky partnership with a psychopath played by Simon Yam, they are to pull off a heist, and Chow is only getting involved to help out his buddy (Anthony Wong) who is in debt. But, as the heist comes to an end, Chow is double crossed, and left for dead. Chow survives though and after being nursed back to health, he seeks his vengeance.

This could easily have been a forgettable film. But, Ringo Lam’s direction is top-notch, visually stunning, and very stylish. Plus, at the heart of the film, there are a couple of great performances, the aforementioned Chow Yun Fat, and a bizarre twist from Simon Yam as a flamboyantly gay villain. Yam oozes evil, psychosis, and a general sense of danger. The role may now be considered politically incorrect, but it works, and in many ways it’s a powerhouse performance.

In essence, this is a simple movie, but it is dressed up to look, and feel great. Part of the effect comes from a sort MTV style of direction, in other words it’s all style over substance, but I love it anyway.

Every Good Legend Deserves a Spoof...

2011-01-18T22:31:00.000-08:00

Once Upon a Time a Hero in China (1992)

A comedic spoof of the immensely popular Once Upon a Time in China films, this movie actually works, and unlike many other films of this type, you will laugh, and you will enjoy it. Well, at least I laughed, and I enjoyed it.

Alan Tam plays a bungling Huang Fei-Hong who is far more interested in perfecting his cooking skills, than he is interested in becoming the martial arts master that he is remembered for being. His helpers, most notably Eric Tsang as Porky Wing, and Simon Yam as Leung Foon do their best to cover-up Huang’s lack of real kung fu prowess, but Tony Leung Ka Fai as Bad Egg Ken Shek is not going to allow the young would-be-master to go unchallenged.

Not the kind of movie that would usually receive much in the way of praise, it’s as entertaining as can be, and well-worth checking out. But, it’s mostly a forgotten movie now, and is probably not too easy to come by any more. If you find a copy, watch it, and if you don’t like it, send it to me, I no longer have a copy of it.

The funniest, most memorable, and best scene involves a hilarious competition that can only be described as a kung fu pissing contest.