tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-132492192011-11-27T17:34:35.855-06:00Choice MomThe politics of our decision to proactively have children on our own, <br />or to be single, are not simple. Here's where we vent.Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125ChoiceMomhttp://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-90022980028489887362011-05-07T09:30:00.002-05:002011-05-07T09:34:31.430-05:002011-05-07T09:34:31.430-05:00Mother's Day HonestyThis Mother's Day weekend I'm contemplating the good, the bad, and the ugly of Choice Motherhood.Let's start with the ugly.Some of us are struggling to become mothers. Some of us are struggling after motherhood. Financially, emotionally, physically, logistically. This is not an easy journey.I know Choice Moms with strong salaries and secure jobs, who are extremely stressed trying to juggle work Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-21274296878593502592011-04-24T07:43:00.005-05:002011-04-24T08:30:14.762-05:002011-04-24T08:30:14.762-05:00Do your children know who you are?Before you start feeling guilty about the images you didn't put into scrapbooks about your kids this winter, I want to give you a fresh new project to think about.For Mother's Day this year, I'm preparing a photo book about ME to give my kids.Before they came into our lives, we dreamed about what kind of mother we wanted to be -- what kind of child we might have. Then our child was HERE and we Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-72667838255500705082011-04-06T05:53:00.004-05:002011-04-06T06:02:43.665-05:002011-04-06T06:02:43.665-05:00Special resources for the Choice Mom communityAs we develop more (largely FREE!) e-books and other special guides for the Choice Mom community, I thought this would be a good place to list everything so far available. This list will grow, so keep checking back.Choice Mom Guide to Donor SpermThe 28-page guidebook offers Q&A about key sperm bank policies... suggestions on how to make contact with donor families... resources for talking to yourChoice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-84462416134269765012011-04-01T13:38:00.001-05:002011-04-01T13:38:41.727-05:002011-04-01T13:38:41.727-05:00Conscious Conversations #2Here it is...the end of the month when we focused on Conscious Conversations, and it took me weeks to get to THIS conversation with you. Isn't that the trickiness of our lives? How to make time for what matters, when the minutia of everyday gets in our way.My daughter is nearly 12 and we've been having the most fascinating conversations lately. Nothing about the lack of a father in her life -- Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-68005395105795087942011-03-07T13:39:00.000-06:002011-04-01T13:39:47.565-05:002011-04-01T13:39:47.565-05:00Conscious Conversations #1A friend called out of the blue to ask to catch up after months of absence. We talked about how hard it is for him to find interesting women to talk to about non-superficial things, and how he wondered if he’d ever find a partner.We talked about the new role models I was attempting to add to the lives of my children. He asked, "When are you going to stop finding people who add to your kids’ livesChoice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-52561673910833895632011-02-28T13:40:00.000-06:002011-04-01T13:41:17.262-05:002011-04-01T13:41:17.262-05:00The balancing act we all faceOne of the hardest things I struggle with is finding balance.Not so much between keeping work, motherhood and social life juggling at once. I've gotten better at that, interestingly, since I became a mother and realigned my perspective about what is important in life. (In my 20s I was a workaholic, in my 30s I was rediscovering the value of HAVING a social life, now in my 40s I am setting aside Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-53033418321659704402011-02-14T13:42:00.000-06:002011-04-01T13:42:35.194-05:002011-04-01T13:42:35.194-05:00Wish List: The Best PartnersAdmittedly I've become pretty oblivious to Valentine's Day. But that doesn't mean I don't have dreams...In one daydream, I have a fabulous boyfriend who is an electrician, so he can fix the fixtures that need to be replaced.Last fall, I had an ultimate handyman for awhile. He was diligent and took great pride in his work. But after I mentally counted up hours, then asked for a preliminary bill, Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-64153245033222559192011-01-01T12:01:00.003-06:002011-01-01T12:03:58.989-06:002011-01-01T12:03:58.989-06:00Happy New Year!Did you know we have an amazing e-book on the website this week....the best insights, expert tips and stories of the new-and-improved ChoiceMoms.org in 2010.Check it out hereMikkiChoice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-61079024881275363632010-11-24T09:18:00.005-06:002010-11-24T11:08:47.039-06:002010-11-24T11:08:47.039-06:00Dan Buettner: Tips for happinessI went to a talk by a well-respected neighbor of mine, Dan Buettner, whose latest book, Thrive: Finding Happiness the Blue Zones Way, is about tips he gleaned from worldwide research, database correlations, and conversations with individuals in the happiest cities in the world.I brought my 6-year-old son, who contentedly sat in a corner reading "Diary of a Wimpy Kid." Later I was congratulated byChoice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-18125118573401870392010-11-01T10:06:00.006-05:002010-11-01T11:10:51.588-05:002010-11-01T11:10:51.588-05:00The Nature of BordersA recent conversation with a friend of mine reminded me of the borders that are so easy to construct in our relationships with others. The role we play in keeping people at a distance. And simply the fact that so many of my friends are single. The nature of my very business with the Choice Mom community is working with women around the world who are raising kids alone.Why is this, I wondered? WhyChoice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-37043773209086995062010-05-24T12:11:00.001-05:002010-05-24T12:11:40.420-05:002010-05-24T12:11:40.420-05:00VISIT THE NEW FORMATNote that in February 2010 the ChoiceMoms.org website moved to a more dynamic format that enables us to add daily blogs to the website itself in each category of the Choice Mom journey -- with even more bells and whistles that includes audio clips, sponsor deals, event details and more.Visit the Choice Moms blogs at:http://www.choicemoms.orgMikkiChoice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-7222356483244152952009-12-09T08:23:00.002-06:002009-12-09T08:30:48.632-06:002009-12-09T08:30:48.632-06:00Who disapproves? Here's who...One woman on the Choice Mom discussion board noticed a pattern -- that others have agreed with -- about who tends to disapprove of the Choice Mom path, and who does not:I've started casually telling family and friends that I'm planning on starting to conceive or adopt by myself w/in the next two years. I've gotten a range of responses, some negative and some positive.The people who have respondedChoice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-90568232589714149192009-11-13T10:04:00.002-06:002009-11-13T10:10:36.744-06:002009-11-13T10:10:36.744-06:00When a divorced mother who is retired chief justice of the Georgia Supreme Court recently wrote an opinion piece about the importance of marriage for CNN, indicating among other things that single parenthood is glorified, one of her points was this:“Memo to single mothers by choice: When you decide to have a child alone in order to fulfill your deep need to parent, you may be deliberately Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-28884468331079964902009-10-25T17:58:00.004-05:002009-10-25T18:10:53.643-05:002009-10-25T18:10:53.643-05:00Happy Birthday Darwin, from Choice MomsAs my daughter will quickly tell you, anytime I hear the terms "Darwin" or "evolution" or "DNA" my ears perk right up. I have so many unread books about evolution in my bedroom you would think it was my life's ambition to understand all the microscopic nuances of barnacles and birds that Darwin himself found so fascinating.The truth is, however, that it fascinates me -- but I don't comprehend it.Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-59102184522329982392009-09-21T13:36:00.005-05:002009-09-21T13:41:47.047-05:002009-09-21T13:41:47.047-05:00Choice Moms Radio ShowIf you haven't listened yet, here are the "Choosing Single Motherhood" radio shows now available from the ChoiceMoms.org website: * Show #11: Dating as a single parent * Show #10: Emotions of the Choice Mom journey, the anger, frustration, sadness, fear and joy we go through in each stage, from Thinking to Trying to Waiting to Becoming to Being a Choice Mom. * Show #9: Finding the right Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-85139948390136343662009-07-23T12:34:00.002-05:002009-07-23T12:36:57.742-05:002009-07-23T12:36:57.742-05:00Why we have to be careful about known donor arrangementssubmitted by my favorite legal counsel about known donor negotations, Ami Jaeger, of BioLaw in New Mexico:Florida – Two Gay Couples Fight over Custody of Child“Two dads face off against two moms. It’s perhaps the most unique custody battle in recent Florida history and maybe the most radical verdict. Katherine and her eight-year partner, Ana Sobrino, decided to have a baby about a half-decade agoChoice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-61808131373753154712009-06-29T16:45:00.003-05:002009-06-29T17:26:23.690-05:002009-06-29T17:26:23.690-05:00Picking a sperm bank, as well as a donorA recent post on the Choice Mom discussion board reiterated the varied ways we approach selection of a sperm donor when we are creating our families. I know several donor-conceived offspring who don't think anyone should choose an anonymous donor. That sperm banks should recruit only open donors who agree to be contacted by their offspring someday. (And some believe donors should never be used atChoice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-8655305818519752092009-05-28T09:48:00.001-05:002009-05-28T09:50:54.252-05:002009-05-28T09:50:54.252-05:00Unwed is not the same as Unpreparedthis was originally posted on the Thinking blog, but it is appropriate in this space, dedicated to the politics of this choice....The Choice Mom board recently had a discussion about how a CNN article recently described us as "unwed." Some women didn't particularly like the term, since it implies a lack that we don't all feel. Like saying someone is un-blonde, instead of brunette. Some wondered, Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-41334712746417059682009-04-02T09:28:00.005-05:002009-04-02T09:33:56.136-05:002009-04-02T09:33:56.136-05:00A Southern blogger shares strength of communityI discovered this blog recently, Single Mothering Southern Style, by Amy Hudock, and thought it was an eloquent reminder of how important it is for women to become aware of the Choice Mom/Single Mother by Choice community and what we can offer to each other:Today, Choice Moms™ launched the "Choosing Single Motherhood" radio show, hosted by Choice Moms founder Mikki Morrissette. The one-hour Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-38843980114225153572009-02-18T07:29:00.006-06:002009-02-18T15:36:58.971-06:002009-02-18T15:36:58.971-06:00Ethics of reproductionIn a vein related to the story of the single mom of 14, whose fertility doctor transferred more than the generally accepted two embryos even though she'd already given birth to six children before her octuplets were born, this recent story came out of Canada about a 60-year-old woman who went to India in order to conceive her twins.Obviously, apart from the sensationalistic quality of the media Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-35563303926351275352009-01-31T08:13:00.007-06:002009-02-18T07:27:35.115-06:002009-02-18T07:27:35.115-06:0014 Babies for a Single MomSo, the news this week that a 33-year-old unmarried woman in California delivered eight babies -- with six already at home with grandparents -- is obviously creating a frenzy of conversation. In the media. On the Choice Mom discussion board.One version of the story is here.Undoubtedly this will lead to speculation about where ethically the line should be drawn. Some certainly want it drawn tight Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-47177895638651886902009-01-10T16:17:00.008-06:002009-01-12T10:17:55.987-06:002009-01-12T10:17:55.987-06:00In response to Ann Coultersubmitted to Huffington PostFor those of you not attuned to every attention-getting proclamation of Ann Coulter, she recently went on a 3.5-minute rant on “The Today Show” (Wednesday, January 7) about why single motherhood is the root of evil in society today.An old argument, defended in an old way. Largely focused on statistics about the pregnant teens, rapists and murderers who were raised by Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-13586239330220197282009-01-05T20:30:00.005-06:002009-01-05T20:50:38.149-06:002009-01-05T20:50:38.149-06:00Tragedy reminds us about being preparedI just learned that a 40-year-old Choice Mom-in-the-making, who lived in the D.C. area, suddenly died Christmas Day while 32.5-weeks pregnant, from the very rare pregnancy complication of HELLPS (Hemolytic anemia, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelet count).Her baby boy was born safely, but she did not get to meet him.On SO many levels this is tragic and makes all of us in the Choice Mom Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-31741417180333193142008-12-04T14:02:00.003-06:002008-12-04T14:12:25.643-06:002008-12-04T14:12:25.643-06:00women over 40, not wanting sausage :-)Although this is misattributed to 60 Minutes correspondent Andy Rooney, the words about women over 40 pretty well describe many Choice Moms I know, even the ones younger than 40 who just don't want to deal anymore with pleasantries of domestic bliss. :-) (You can find out who actually wrote the words, and when, at Snopes) As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-67826171920355364122008-11-14T21:05:00.004-06:002008-11-14T21:33:07.602-06:002008-11-14T21:33:07.602-06:00Are we single by choice, or chance?I recently had a brief chat with a young man who, like many do, presumed that Choice Motherhood is a conscious decision to be SINGLE and a mom, rather than to consciously become a MOM who happens to be single.Since he's in an interesting orbit of new young friends I seem to have connected with recently -- and thus I actually KNOW him personally -- I felt the need to correct his perception rather Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com7