Choose PEACE

Christ the King Sunday and Gospitality

2013-11-22T11:25:00.000-05:00

The Feast of Christ the King is this Sunday- where did the year go!!

This marks the end of our liturgical year- our New Year’s Eve as Christians. When I ran the religious ed program, we actually HAD a New Year’s Eve party on Christ the King Sunday. I wanted the children to see how we must live in this world… but that doesn’t change the fact that as Christians, we see the world a little differently than others do.

Pet peeve of the day: pew-end huggers.

Beginning this Sunday, our churches will be more full… at least until January. Believe it or not, rather than scowling at the CHREASTERS sitting in "your" pew, you should be welcoming them. We really do want to keep them coming back! (If you don’t want them to come back, see HERE) One of the best ways to NOT welcome people is to sit at the end of your pew, refusing to move as someone looks for a seat.

All the parishes in Lima fill the same way: aisle and side seats first, then the latecomers must climb over the pew-end-huggers to get a spot. Seriously- think for a moment of just how rude that is!!!

Granted- there are legitimate reasons to sit at the end. Off the top of my head: over-active bladder, fussy child, or perhaps you are lectoring or an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion (the ONLY Eucharistic ministers are Deacons, Priests, and Bishops…but that is another blog entry). Getting out quickly after Mass doesn't qualify!

I went to my home parish in Cleveland two Sundays ago, got there half an hour early and picked a spot- in the middle of the pew. Then I saw Dick and Laverne Hajduk come in and sneaked into the pew behind them as a surprise. I was still sitting away from the end. Because I had left space next to me, a woman who was by herself sat next to me. The Cleveland Diocese does things a little differently, and I follow the GIRM regarding Mass postures (even in Lima) - so it was obvious I was a “visitor.” At the Sign of Peace, she asked if that was the first time I had been there…hardly! I lived across the street, grew up there, confirmed there, married there, buried my step-father from there. But she had hospitality exactly right in a way people around Lima just don’t get. You don’t need to get all up in someone’s face, vigorously shake their hand and pat them on the back to be welcoming. A smile, a question. Yep. She got it right.

She picked up on my silent invitation to sit in “my” pew, and instead of each of us worshipping alone, we worshipped together. Unless you have ever gone to Mass alone in a parish to which you do not belong, you won’t understand that.

Hugging the end of the pew and making people crawl over you says nothing less than, “This is my spot. I was here first. And you aren’t worth the effort to move.” When you say that without words and then turn to the person next to you with a hearty WELCOME when instructed to do so, it comes off fake. Cold. Completely meaningless. Which it should, considering how you just treated that person.

When you get to church, pick a pew- then sit in the middle! You are being welcoming without saying a single word. You are indicating that those seats are available and you just might actually meet someone NEW and be sincere when they do the silly "welcome the person next to you" bit…instead of “welcoming” the people who rode to Mass in the same car you did.

When I used the word “hospitality” a few paragraphs back, I accidentally typed “gospitality.” Corny as it sounds, the word rings true. Hospitality is something I learned in Miss Mundhenk’s 8^th grade Home Ec class. It is a pre-defined way of making people comfortable according to societal norms.

Gospitality is from the heart. It sees a standing-room-only church on Christmas Eve and thinks, “How wonderful!” It seeks unfamiliar faces to wish a Merry Christmas…and it makes room at the end of the pew so as many people as possible will feel welcome to sit there.

If they don’t feel welcomed to sit in a pew at the Christmas Eve Mass, don’t count on them being back for New Year’s Eve Mass.

An Apology from Mother Nature

2013-04-22T15:21:00.000-04:00

I have a reputation, and I have let everyone down.It seems an apology is in order. My family started pointing out my failing a couple weeks ago, but when a priest came out and mentioned it to me last night it really hit home.

I'm sorry, it is all my fault.

I am responsible for the lack of "spring" in these parts.

Some of you know why, and can have your chuckle; I promise- I will work on the weather. The rest of you who think I am off my rocker can read on.

It started innocently enough, in 2000. June 21st, to be exact. Tim and I were planning a 15th wedding anniversary party for that weekend, complete with renewal of our vows and about 50 people at the house. My father-in-law, Charles, had been visiting us for a few weeks and had decided to extend his stay to be with us for the party.

June 21st was a Wednesday; Tim and I walked out the front door to do a walk-around and plan the yard work we needed to accomplish for the party on the 24th. Our home faces north, so the front elevation doesn't get a lot of light. Because of that, my daylilies in the front beds don't bloom until well into July. Knowing I wouldn't have time to plant any color for the front of the house, I looked at my lily plants and announced loudly to all of them, " Saturday. I need you all open on Saturday." Tim laughed.

Friday, Tim had to go into the office and I had lots to do. I got up early and ran down to the Lowe's to pick up a few things.While I was in line, Jennifer (all of 11 years old) called my cell phone and told me that there was blood all over the bathroom and Grandpa was in his room, covered in blood. To this day, I admire her levelheadedness at what must have been a terrifying sight for her young eyes. Chalres was admitted to St. Rita's and I spent the better part of the rest of the day with him. I knew he wouldn't be out for the party; that really upset me for two reasons. First, he had changed his plans to be there. Second, when his wife was alive, he wouldn't renew their vows, saying " once is all it takes." I knew it was because he was a softy...but I was really honored that he wanted to be there with us, given his feelings on the subject.

It was a long night; I went to the grocery and started cutting up all the fruits and veggies for the party the next day. At some point, my garbage disposal blew up.

Yes. Blew up. If you have never had it happen, oh it is quite a treat! All the stuff you put down it ends up spewed all over the inside of your under-sink cabinet, in all its ripe nastiness. Never pleasant, and especially not when you are hosting a party in a few hours. I eventually gave up and went to bed, around 3 am.

A few hours later, my mom and friend Nancy (God rest her soul) arrived early. God love them! They both liked cleaning- and their work was cut out for them. I called Fr. Mike and asked him to meet us at the hospital. We would renew our vows there so Charles could be a part of it.

When Tim and I left for the hospital, I looked at the front of the house. The daylilies were in bloom. Every. Last. One. We were stunned. Renewing our vows privately was a good idea; Tim, Fr. Mike, Charles and I were all in tears. We got it out of our systems.

When we got home, the house was in better shape, and a couple other friends were there to help with food preparation. The party was supposed to be a picnic- I had even hired Chris (God rest his soul), the teen nephew of a neighbor to act as lifeguard so the kids could play in the pool and the adults could be adults. The weather was threatening not to cooperate. We had our ceremony. My dad finally got to "walk me down the aisle," and our children were our attendants. Emily Rose (all of 26 months) was my bouquet when she spooked at all the people. We started the cookout under gathering grey clouds. My mom wanted to move everything inside; I refused. This party was staying outdoors.

Several times, we felt a few spits of rain, but I looked up and scowled, "Oh, no! You are NOT going to rain on us." And it stopped. Around 9 pm, the last of the company who was leaving left. The weather had held.

Suddenly, the heavens opened and a deluge of biblical proportions began. Tammy was headed north on 75 and had to pull over because she couldn't see the road. The roof of our sun room began to leak profusely. It rained so much that our pool overflowed.

But it didn't rain on our anniversary party.

The following week was Tim's 20th reunion. Friday night was at a bar on Bagley Rd. They have a covered patio, but we were chased inside by a downpour. The next day was supposed to be a family picnic- with an 80% chance of rain. You read that correctly- 80%. Tim said, "Don't worry- Irene will take care of it."

At the picnic, it was like the party: it would sprinkle, I would look up and say, "No," and it would stop. It happened a few times and got to be rather funny. The picnic beat the weather.

That's is how it started, and my family has never forgotten it.

I get requests for snow days, nice weather for weddings and parish festivals (from more than one parish), nice weather (not too warm, no rain, light wind) for Positive Addiction and half-marathons. When Robert's 8th grade class went to DC, the forecast was for rain all week. I began praying about it. It DID rain- but only when they were inside! One of the LCC teachers was lamenting a poor forecast for an outdoor event and Steven told him, "I'll tell my mom. She'll take care of it for you." He did. I did. The teacher was floored- and has sent other requests my way. One Angel Food weekend, we saw a massive storm front moving toward Lima, scheduled to hit around 4am- right when we would be outside unloading the truck. When I got up at 3:30am, I checked the radar and woke up Tim to see it: the storm had split in two and went around Lima! All three of the DC trips I planned for my 7th and 8th graders for the March for Life had perfect, warm weather. In January. Seriously, We had our coats off.

And while I was writing this, Robert sent me a text: he wants clear skies tonight for the Lyrid meteor shower.

I will not claim a perfect record, but my record is impressive enough that my family has decided that if I make it to heaven, I will be the patron saint of weather requests.

Taking the blame for bad weather comes with the territory, however. When the weather outside is frightful, the children (most of whom are now adults) will ask if I am feeling OK, or if I am upset about something.

And that is the reason for this post: I am sorry.

I have been very distracted lately, lots on my plate. And my prayer life hasn't been what it should be... I have been slacking. I have come to realize over the years of this weather phenomenon that it is one of those Easter eggs God throws me to let me know he is still here, and he is in control. Even though we laugh about it and my family has dubbed me "Mother Nature," we all know- it is the Lord at work.

FOUR TIMES yesterday, my kids- and my husband- complained, "Will you PLEASE do something about this weather?" Then I hear it from a priest, "Can't you do something about this weather?"

OK. Message received. I am feeling kind of funky today, so I can't promise anything for the rest of the week. But Mother Nature is back on the job. Give me a few days and I promise- spring will be here!

Update: I took this photo June 24, 2013. The same day as we held that party in 2000. Note there are no buds! One plant does have a single bloom and several buds. But the day of that party they were all in bloom!

Just for fun while I take a few days off from the blog!!!! ( Reader participation!!!!)

2013-04-05T16:56:00.002-04:00

Check out our OTHER blog at POPECULTURE.NET for a fun "finish the sentence..." post.

I have a paper due Monday, so I need to focus on THAT in addition to all the normal Mom stuff....

Renew Your Faith- Celebrate Holy Week: Part III- Holy Saturday

2013-03-30T00:06:00.001-04:00

So, here we are. Lent has ended; today is Holy Saturday.

Way back on Ash Wednesday, we talked about how the purpose of our Lenten sacrifices and practices is to be a better person on Easter Sunday than we were on Ash Wednesday.

So, how'd you do?

Well, if you are like most of us, not so great some days, better others.

Today is a quiet day liturgically. And it should be in our homes, too. Oh, there's the pre-work for the big Easter meal, last minute stuffers for the baskets, maybe a local Easter egg hunt. But if you get caught up in the bustle you are missing out on the significance of the day.

The tabernacles of the world are empty.
There are no grand Easter candles in their ornate holders.
The red sanctuary lamp is dark.
Even the holy water fonts are dry.

That first Holy Saturday was a day of confusion and profound sadness for the followers of Jesus Christ. And these physical signs are reminders of that. They spent the day recounting how they had failed as disciples. How they betrayed their teacher. How they had abandoned him when he needed them most.

Imagine how awful they felt. It shouldn't be difficult, because we do it all the time, don't we?

We fail as disciples when we can't answer basic questions about our faith. We betray Jesus Christ when we refuse to stand up for the most vulnerable among us. We abandon Christ when we refuse to worship - in the way he asks us to- the one who has given us the life we squander. And we fail miserably when we do not stand up for the teachings of the Lord, by which we have the opportunity to lead others to Christ.

We fail as disciples. Every. Single. Day.

Tonight, in churches around the world, Catholics will gather in darkness and light a fire. And they will ponder again the reason Jesus Christ had to come into this world- and the reason he had to die...because of the sins of each one of us, personally and individually. It is a staggering weight, knowing not only did Jesus Christ die for me- he died because of me.

But we have the advantage of hindsight, hindsight allows us to look forward with hope. We know the rest of the story.

Just as on Christmas Eve, the light spreads through the darkened church as the Light of the World is born- so, too, will our church's glow in the candlelight tonight as we listen to the story of our salvation and as we await the joyous news that the Lord has conquered sin and death by rising from the dead. We will witness people commit their lives to Jesus Christ- renewing our own faith. We will ring every bell in every church and proclaim to the world: Jesus Christ is risen today!

Sure, it's fun to get all dressed up on Easter morning...but the Easter Vigil Mass is the most glorious of the entire year. Don't miss it! In case you missed it, HERE are some great Holy Saturday ideas to put Christ into Easter.

May your Holy Saturday be fruitful and blessed... and your Easter be joyous!

Renew Your Faith- Experience Holy Week: Part II- Good Friday

2013-03-29T10:07:00.000-04:00

Nothing I write here can ever come close to helping any of us understand the true magnitude of what Jesus Christ did for us on that first Good Friday so many years ago.

But I can tell you this: When Jesus hung on the cross, his life draining from his body...he thought of you.

Let that sink in for a minute.

He was crucified for your sins.

Are you Pontius Pilate?

I used to believe Pilate got a bad rap. He was interested in Jesus, seemed to understand Jesus was somehow....special.

Pilate sought the truth.
Pilate wanted to release Jesus, and stated he found the Lord guilty of no crime deserving death.

Give Pilate a break!

But look again at what Pilate did- or, rather- failed to do.

Pilate knew the truth- he knew Jesus was guilty of nothing.

And Pilate did nothing to save him.

Now, laying aside for the moment our 20/20 hindsight and knowledge of the scriptures, and that everything unfolded exactly as it was meant to be....think about that.

Pilate knew the truth, and did nothing to stop the evil.

How often do you do that? More often than you think.

"I don't believe in abortion, but I can't make decisions for other people."
"What's true for you isn't necessaritly true for me."
"Well, she's an adult. I can't say anything about what she does."
"It's OK, I'm mature enough to not let this get out of hand."
"What difference does it make if gays marry? I don't agree with it, but it doesn't affect me."
"God understands if I use artificial contraception."

Pilate was a moral relativist, and - thanks to what Pope Benedict XVI called "the dictatorship of relativism"- so is most of society. We've evolved to a place where objective truth no longer exists, everything is relative.

Well, that's a lie. And we all know who the Father of Lies is.

So- next time you find yourself failing to stand up for the truth against the crowd who thinks loud lies become truths, remember....you have company.

Pontius Pilate.

Awesome Things to Do with Kids on Holy Saturday!!

2013-03-28T17:32:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don't know me, I have a BIG family. My husband of nearly 28 years and I have 7 (SEVEN) children, the oldest of whom turns 24 next week.

No. No multiples.

Yes. Every one of them was planned....by God. But that is another story for another day.

My point here is that the Easter Vigil Mass was not a part of our family until 1996, when my husband came into the church. We belonged to St Charles at the time, and the RCIA was run by the formidable Sr Mary Johnene Wellman, of happy memory. (you can read about her HERE ) At the Easter Vigil Mass in 1996, at least 25...yes 25... people entered the Church. That's a lot of baptizing and Confirming. So there I was- 6 months pregnant with child #6, and five children ages 6 and younger....and Daddy on the opposite side of the church. It was not a fun evening for me, especially with Moose (18 months old) thoroughly enjoying dropping the hymnals flat...because he learned they make the most noise that way.

After that, we stuck to Easter Sunday Mass, followed by our special family holiday breakfast and an Easter Egg hunt in the yard (or the family room if it was too cold). It was 2005 (I believe) before we tried again- and that was a Mass that will go down in our family history. We STILL laugh about it... but again- the story will wait.

Naturally, we color Easter eggs on Holy Saturday- at one point ELEVEN DOZEN of them. Good thing I have LOTS of hard-boiled egg recipes!!! For the record, I have no problem with the Easter Bunny- he is a fun part of growing up, like Santa and the Tooth Fairy. As long as our children know the real reason for the holiday, a fun guy dropping off candy won't doing any harm!

Today I want to give you lead time to plan an AMAZING Holy Saturday with your children- whatever their ages. During those years between Vigil Masses, we developed a set of traditions that we still continue- so we must be doing something right. My purpose was to have the children thinking less about the Easter Bunny than they were about- to borrow a phrase from the Passover ritual- why this night is different than all others.

The Blessing of the First Food of Easter.

When Deacon Mike was at St Charles, he did this blessing, and for a couple years, we had a priest join us for these traditions ( he blessed our food then). When I worked for St John, I arranged for the blessing. Alas, it is one of those beautiful little "t" traditions that has gone kaplooie in Lima, OH. Thankfully, it is a blessing you can do at home, and without clergy. :-)

The Blessing of the First Food is an Eastern European tradition, stemming from what is called the Great Fast of Lent. During Lent, the people did not eat...get ready.... : meat, dairy, sugar or eggs. Yeah. And you thought going meatless one day a week was rough? Fruits and veggies- and not much else. So, eating those foods on Easter morning literally was a BREAK-FAST. The blessing was not only in thanksgiving, and asking to strengthen bodies through them, but to avoid illness from the shock to the system.

The woman of the home would make a special bread, called a babka or paska, it was very rich ( my recipe uses a dozen egg yolks!) Here's last years...

The babka would go into a basket lined with a special, hand-embroidered linen used ONLY for the First Food Blessing. Also in the basket: butter, fresh eggs, cheese, meat, a candle, and...the PSANKY ( the amazing Ukranian Easter Eggs). Nowadays, you will also find children bringing their Easter Baskets (with candy) for the blessing, too.

THIS LINK will take you to a simple blessing you can use at home. Look at it ahead of time and mark the scripture passages. ALSO::::::: DO NOT MAKE THE SIGN OF THE CROSS over people or objects if you are not ordained!!!! That is a HUGE no-no, and one many Extraordinary ministers make. That is a priestly blessing- even DEACONS cannot bless by making the sign of the cross over people/objects. The proper action is to hold your hand over the item/person, then you make the Sign of the Cross on your own person as usual.

THE FAMILY EASTER CANDLE

This is a cool and meaningful project. We did it at St John on Holy Saturday morning ( before the basket blessing) and some St Rose families even joined us. You need:

A 3" (minimum) diameter pillar candle- preferable white or ivory, at least 6 inches tall
Whole cloves
Sharpie Markers
Scissors
rubber cement
Clip Art of Easter- related pictures: Victory Lamb, Pelican, Cross, Lillies, Noah's Ark, etc. Also phrases such as "He is Risen!," and bible verses. You can find scrapbooking stickers that are appropriate, as well as scrap book paper with ornate crosses at Hobby Lobby.

With the Sharpie, make a cross, then add the numerals for the year and the alpha and omega. like this:

The cross there is one we cut out from scrapbook paper, but you can draw yours.

Next, GROWNUPS ONLY-- Use the tip of your scissors to start small holes at each point of the cross, and one in the middle. Small holes- you will then insert a whole clove into each hole. These represent the incense. You'll want to dip the clove stem into rubber cement to help it stick.

Now decorate the candle however you like. You can see the one above is a little more simple than this one:

Sadly, neither of these photos shows a pelican, my favorite symbol. Legend has it that the pelican, if unable to find food for her young, will pierce her breast and feed them her blood. GET IT??????

The candle goes in the basket for the blessing of the food.

But THIS is the neat part!!!!! Whenever you attend Easter Mass ( even the vigil)... light the candle for the first time from the Easter Candle at church. Catch the servers after mass, and they can help you with this one.

Then, light it every family meal throughout Easter season- all the way to Pentecost.....just like we do at church. And just like at church, the candle represents the presence of Christ- the Light of the World- in a special way. Ours stays on the table all year long.

After Pentecost, light it at special times...birthdays...anniversaries...holidays...a special guest at your table...report card day (yes, really!)....or even, just because. During the liturgical year, the candle is lit for weddings, funerals, 1st Eucharist , Confirmation, ordination....for the really special days.

Start the Family Easter Candle tradition, and believe me- it will be special! And- as a special bonus- your children have leaned something about their faith.

Easter Story Cookies

HERE is the link for the recipe. It is self explanatory. ( This is where I use the egg white from the dozen eggs in the babka!)
Be sure you pre-mark the scriptures...and pre-measure the ingredients. It saves lots of time.

Again- my youngest is FOURTEEN and the kids still ask every year..."Are we making Easter Story Cookies?"

I have also had priests ask me if we were going to make them...and could we bring a couple to church?

So, I hope you have enjoyed reading about some of the Alderman family Holy Saturday traditions...and I really hope you will try at least one of them and that it helps your family experience the joy of Easter in a special way! While you're at it- share the link to this page so your friends can try something new with their children!

Renew Your Faith- Experience Holy Week, Part I: Holy Thursday

2013-03-28T12:34:00.000-04:00

In our family, birthdays are never "one" day. Rather, they tend to stretch over two or more days for various reasons: work schedules, out-of-town children, and/or the general busy-ness of 21st century life. Just this weekend, we celebrated GG's 94th birthday on Saturday...and Sunday. You just can't get too much of a good thing.

Our Catholic faith gives us a good example of this. Christmas lasts for three weeks (or longer, depending on the way the days fall). The first Sunday after Christmas is the feast of the Holy Family. The second Sunday after Christmas is the Epiphany, and the third Sunday after Christmas is the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord, formally ending the Christmas Season. Advent- the four Sundays prior to Christmas - are not part of Christmas, despite what society tells us with all the decor appearing around the middle of October. (Click HERE for my blog post about Advent!)

Our celebration of Easter is the same way. Despite all the bunnies and eggs and pastel-colored Peeps surrounding us in retail outlets, we are not in the Easter season, it is still Lent. And today begins the end of our Lenten season: the Triduum. Latin for "three days," it marks our remembrance of Jesus Christ's passion and death...leading up to his glorious Resurrection on Easter Sunday.

The final week of Lent is a time for the most amazing liturgical celebrations of the entire year ( at least they should be!). Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday, ( if you are lucky, you'll get a Tenebrae service) Holy Saturday....all leading up to the holiest season for Christians: Easter. And- since it is so holy- we can't have Easter be just ONE day, or one week. Nope. We get FIFTY days of Easter!!! But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Log on to your local parish's web page. If the parish staff is worth their salt, they should have the homepage-(not the link for the bulletin, the actual HOME PAGE) updated with all the Holy Week Liturgies. The Facebook page and Twitter should be sending out the info every day this week.

This is what you have to look forward to!

Holy Thursday: Mass of the Lord's Supper.... Probably my favorite Mass of the entire year, because it celebrates the institution of not ONE, but TWO sacraments. That in itself is pretty cool. One of the most moving parts of the Mass is when the priest removes his chasuble and stole and washes the feet of twelve MEN ( YES, only MEN are supposed to take part in this. The ritual specifies VIROS, which is Latin for "men"). If you see women and children up there, it is because the person who made the phone calls deliberately overlooks the sign value of the 12 being men, or simply does not know any better. Anymore, it's probably a little of both- that and the ridiculous press for so-called inclusivity. But the fact is: Jesus washed the feet of twelve MEN, and in doing so instituted the sacramental priesthood by demonstrating the servant nature of the priesthood.

By the way- if you are a man and get a phone call asking you to be one of those twelve, the proper answer is, "I would be honored. Thank you for asking me." NOT, "Oh, I could never do that!" Remember- Peter did not want Jesus to wash his feet!

As an aside, Pope Francis going to the juvenile prison for the Holy Thursday Mass is so beautiful. His servant heart will be denounced by many.... we are already hearing it.... and others will use his compassion and humility to pass judgment on the Church as a whole and the papacy in particular.... but keep watching him. I have a feeling Pope Francis will set our hearts on fire!

The second sacrament whose institution we celebrate on Holy Thursday is the Eucharist. In this Mass, we recall the first Mass. Imagine, shortly after the multiplication of the loaves and fish, shortly after the Bread of Life discourse in John 6... being present as Jesus Christ reaches 18 hours into the future and makes clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that the bread and wine become his Body and Blood. It happens at every Mass, and Holy Thursday, we celebrate it in a special way. After Communion should be a Eucharistic procession, taking the remaining hosts to an altar of repose outside the sanctuary. The altar is then stripped of all linens and all plants/flowers should be removed from the sanctuary. Adoration at the altar of repose for at least part of the night should be available. The tabernacle doors are left open to show that it is empty.

Why is it empty?

As a stark reminder of the events that have now been set in place... the last Supper is over. Jesus has gone out to pray- and will soon be arrested- and worse.

So... open a new window and go to your parish website ( unless your parish actually sent out Holy Week info, ours didn't this year :-( ) and get that schedule for the rest of Holy Week.

And BOOKMARK this blog or sign up below for updates for the rest of Holy Week and into the East Season!

Enter into the Paschal Mystery, experience the events of this Triduum in a way new to you.

Spy Wednesday

2013-03-27T11:07:00.000-04:00

From the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 26: 14-16
The one of the twelve- called Judas Iscariot- went to the chef priests and said, "What will you give me if I deliver him to you?" They paid him 30 pieces of silver and from that moment he sought an opportunity to betray him.

Today is Spy Wednesday, traditionally the day in which Judas met with the chief priecst and set in motion the events of the Triduum (Latin for "three days" and meaning Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday).

The thirty pieces of silver represented the bounty for a wanted man- and the price of a man's life (for example, the accidental killing of another's slave) .

This is, of course, the first of many betrayals of the Lord during his Passion. First Judas. Then Peter. Then the rest of the disciples (with the exception of John) finally betray him by abandoning him.

But "WE" would never do that, would we? We know who Christ is- we would never betray him!

We do. Every day.

We betray Christ when we allow people to speak falsehoods about his Church.
We betray Christ when -with full knowledge and consent- we break any of the Commandments (which is a mortal sin, despite one one RCIA director believes)
We betray Christ when we fail to speak up when we see others participating in objectively sinful behavior.
We betray Christ when we fail to stand up for the rights of the most helpless among us.
We betray Christ when anything in this world becomes more important to us than Jesus Christ and his desire for us to be in heaven with him.

You can find a good examination of conscience here. Look it over and get to Confession.

Remember- Judas did not repent and died. Peter repented and lived. And Peter, our first Pope, is proof that the Lord writes straight with crooked lines.

Band of Brothers

2013-03-23T15:31:00.000-04:00

Jesus Christ Lives in Key West- A Palm Sunday Lesson

2013-03-23T15:22:00.000-04:00

Jesus Christ lives in Key West, Florida. Really- I know because I met him there.

In 2006, our entire family- all nine of us- drove to Key West for a week’s vacation right after Thanksgiving. We stayed at a property across the street from the beach and the master suite had an ocean view. It was amazing.

Since we had the luxury of children old enough to stay by themselves (this is a real treat for us!), Tim and I decided to have a grown-ups’ night. We ordered a movie for the offspring and pizza for their bellies and headed to downtown Key West. We dined at Margaritaville (of course), where Tim ordered the Cheeseburger in Paradise (of course). When his plate arrived, the ketchup was in reach, but Tim had to go looking for…. Yep. His lost shaker of salt. It was two tables over. We looked at each other and laughed.

After dinner, we took a stroll. We passed a lady who was selling items she had made from palm fronds: hats, mats, stuff like that. She was very nicely dressed and sitting in one of those nice canvas folding chairs you bring to watch your kids play soccer. I admired her wares and we continued walking.

Ahead and to our tight was an old man. He was white (just so you can draw the picture) and had salt and pepper dreadlocks. Yes. Dreadlocks on a white guy. He sat on a small campstool and wore dirty, ripped jeans and a ratty shirt. From a distance you could tell- he was not clean. He was the kind of person you knew before you got anywhere close to him—he smelled. Badly. The kind of person you don’t make eye contact with as you pass. So I cast my eyes downward as we got close.

Then I saw it.

Sitting on the ground in front of him was a glass coke bottle- the smaller kind that we used to get from vending machines…and in it was a rose made from a palm branch!

I fell on my knees in front of him, a sheet spread there showing his woven-palm wares, I looked in those eyes which only moments before I was determined to avoid at all costs, and asked: “How did you make that?”

He smiled- his eyes were the most amazing shade of blue, like the most beautiful blue sky you could imagine. Before I saw them, I would have guessed that they would be clouded with cataracts, or glassy from medication- or alcohol. But they were crystal clear. And oh, so blue.

“Would you like me to show you?”

“Yes! Please!” And so he took me through, step by step. I told him how I liked showing my religious ed students how to make things with the Palm Sunday palms, but I wasn’t very good at it. I had directions for fancy crosses, fish and even a rose, but I could never figure out the rose from the drawings.

“Are you going to remember how to do this on Palm Sunday?”

“Yes. I learn best by watching. I’ll remember.” I memorized every movement of his weathered hands, took a mental picture of each step. When he finished, he handed it to me with a smile. I set it down and folded a cross from a palm that was nearby. As I handed it to him I said, “This is the only thing I know how to make without directions in front of me.”

We stood up and I gave him a hug and thanked him for sharing how to make the rose. My husband had been standing with a young man (who was dressed very nicely in khakis and a polo) who seemed to be there with the old man. Tim threw a few dollars in a hat that was sitting there.

Tim and I walked away. We started crossing the street and I felt a tug on my arm. It was the old man. He looked into my soul- that’s the only way I can describe it- and told me, “Always remember- every person you meet, you could be meeting Jesus Christ.” I nodded my head and said, “I promise, I’ll remember.”

And I always have.

The encounter stayed with me. Several weeks later I was with a priest friend and asked him, "Have you ever met someone and then later realize you had met Christ?" He stopped what he was doing, "Tell me what happened."

The following Palm Sunday, I had everything ready for the children (pre-K through 8). Palms, photocopies of instructions. We talked about Palm Sunday and Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem, surrounded by throngs of people hailing him as their King and Savior…the same people who just a few days later would call for his death. And I told them the story of the old man in Key West. How he had shown me how to make the palm roses---and what he had said to me.

But I was having trouble with the rose. I was getting very frustrated, nearly to the point of tears. I recall saying something like, “I promised him. I promised him I would remember.” I felt as if I would be letting him down if I couldn’t do it. Caleb Good (8^th grade) stood by me and encouraged me-“ You can do it, take your time- you’ll remember.” Eventually, I did- and every year since, there have been as many roses as crosses on Palm Sunday around here. The palm rose the old man made me is on my night stand. Joey is really good at the roses- and makes a neat rose/ cross combination. He's a popular guy on Palm Sunday!

So, you see? This really is a Palm Sunday story. The lesson is exactly what the old man told me- and every Palm Sunday it is renewed in my heart. “Always remember- every person you meet, you could be meeting Jesus Christ.”

Even in Key West.

St Joseph, Pray for Us!!

2013-03-19T11:46:00.000-04:00

Today is the Feast of St Joseph, earthly father of Jesus Christ. A special shout-out to my son, Joseph, on his name day!! We don't know much about Joseph from scripture- or so it seems. We have no record of any words attributed to Joseph- yet he speaks volumes.

We know from scripture that Joseph was a righteous man. Enoch – Noah – Abraham – Isaac – Jacob - Moses – David – Daniel – Job – Joseph of Arimathea – Zechariah and Elizabeth. All were called righteous- and Joseph among them.

Catholics see Joseph as patron of fathers ( in all their incarnations- bio, step, foster-and ordained). He is the guardian of families, as he was the Holy Family. He is patron of a good and holy death ( how blessed he was to have Mary AND Jesus attending to his death!)

"Christ has assigned as a duty to every man, the dignity of every woman." These words of Blessed Pope John Paul II in November of 1982 sum up our first knowledge of Joseph. Unwilling to have Mary disgraced after her announcement that she was pregnant, he planned to quietly divorce her. Who could blame him? Why would he marry a woman expecting a child who was not his? And then- THEN- we see the righteousness: Joseph has a dream telling him everything is kosher-- take care of Mary and her child, for her child is the son of God.

How many men would believe such a dream? Joseph had to have been familiar with the Lord to have readily accepted such a message- and carried it out. His obedience to those dream messages also protected Mary and Jesus when Herod came looking for the Child.

As Jesus grew, Joseph would have taught him carpentry. No- that isn't in scripture- but it is logical. Joseph was a carpenter, so his son would be, too. Imagine the two of them in the workshop!

Kimberly Hahn spoke at a Steubenville Women's Conference I attended some years ago. She related, "Can you imagine life in the home in Nazareth? Imagine if something went wrong. Couldn't have been Jesus. Couldn't have been Mary. Poor Joseph!" She was putting a little too much into impeccability, but it makes for a cute story- and image of the family table.

Our Protestant friends will often argue that Mary had other children, that she was not ever-Virgin. She and Joseph were married, and it would be natural, normal and right for them to have a traditional marital relationship. To them, I pose the following:

We know Joseph was righteous.(Matthew 1:19) We know Mary was the spouse of the Holy Spirit, and through that relationship, Jesus Christ- Son of God, Son of Mary- came into the world. Do you really, honestly and truly believe that a man who knows that this woman has given birth to the Son of God...is going to be concerned with having sex with her? Some traditions have Mary and Joseph in a marriage of convenience- set up for her care as a consecrated virgin, and not for the establishment of a family. We can see this possibility in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 1, verses 26 and following. Gabriel comes to the betrothed Mary and tells her she will have a son. If Mary had anticipated having children her reaction would have been one of joy, something like, "Gee, won't Joseph be excited to have a son!" Instead, look at Luke 1:34, "How can this be since I have no relations with a man?" Mary was not under Joseph's roof yet, but she would be- and Gabriel gave no time frame- just that she would have a son. He then goes on to explain how the child will be conceived upon her consent, and that he will be the Son of God.

We know Joseph was a devout Jew. He brought the Child and his Mother to the temple for the prescribed rituals. Their custom was to go to Jerusalem for the Passover.

We can be fairly certain that Joseph died before Jesus began his public ministry, since Mary was invited to the Wedding at Cana- but no mention of Joseph is made. In Matthew 13:55 and Mark 6:3 Jesus is called the carpenter- or the carpenter's son- and is called the son of Mary...Joseph is not mentioned. Can you imagine being Joseph, and being attended to by Jesus and Mary for your death? I saw a book a few years ago that did just that- imagined the time of Joseph's dying- and had Jesus telling Joseph the part he played in salvation history...and the part Jesus would himself play. Would there be anything to fear, anything on this earth to hold on to...with Mary and Jesus guiding your passing from this earth? So we see Joseph as the Patron of a happy- and provided for- death.

When my father-in-law, Charles, was in his final illness, he lived with our family. He was Presbyterian, but I had asked him if I could call a priest when time came- for me more than for him. He chuckled and said it would be fine. I had pinned to his pillow three medals: The Divine Mercy, the Miraculous Medal, and a St Joseph medal. I had separate reasons for each, but in hindsight I saw- the entire Holy Family was watching over this man I loved so dearly, the silent head of and provider for his clan, my husband's role model for what it really means to be a man. My prayers- corresponding to the medals- were: that he not die in pain, that we all be together with him when he died, and that- above all- he did not die alone. And all three prayers were answered.

Who do we see in Joseph, Father of Jesus?

A righteous man.

The leader and protector and breadwinner of his family.

A man who knows God's message when he hears it- and obeys.

The model of all fathers- and father figures.

St. Joseph, guardian of the Child Jesus and his Blessed Mother, guide and protect all fathers...fill them with your spirit of righteousness and obedience to the Lord....help them to be strong role models of real masculinity for their sons and daughters. Amen.

Time on their hands...

2013-03-18T22:43:00.001-04:00

from ConservativeGuy facebook page

OK- I posted this to the wrong blog :-) But if you haven't yet- check out POPE CULTURE, our other blog- for great MEME's relater to our Catholic faith!!!

Jesus Took the Hit for Me

2013-03-18T11:41:00.000-04:00

Sorry the image is a little large ofr the top of the page- but it is important for you to be able to see the details!

This is the rosary I made for our daughter, Debbie, for her Confirmation. She picked all the 'ingredients,' Momma put it together. The crucifix is called The Tree of Life, and- as she will learn when she reads this post- it is the one I wore around my neck at the time. That was the crucifix she wanted, and money was tight right then, so it was the logical solution.

A few years later, she got her driver's license on the Feast of the Assumption, and the rosary took its place on the rear-view mirror. (For the record, she does pray the rosary, it's not simply an accessory in her car.) True to the pattern for her older brother and sister- a pattern I am grateful has NOT continued- one month to the day after she got that license, she had her first accident.

A fender-bender? No. She missed a turn on a country road, slid on loose gravel a flew her Chrysler Concorde into a ditch nose first, bending the car in half. Oh. did I mention this was also on her dad's birthday? We got to the scene and found Debbie- none the worse for the experience, save faint abrasions on her arms- evidence she had both hands on the wheel when the airbag blew. ( When her older sister had a fender-bender, triggering the airbags, she ended up with a fat lip and black eyes...in addition to the airbag marks on her arms)

The next day, she was gathering her belongings form the vehicle. The rosary that had been around the rearview mirror had ended up in the back seat. A few beads broke, one or two completely shattered- you can see them in the drop portion- or at least where they were. And the sterling silver crucifix twisted from the impact. ( Note- however, Mom's workmanship held up through the ordeal ;-) )

I offered to fix it up for her, good as new.

She declined. "Jesus took the hit for me."

As we enter this final week of Lent before Holy Week, make an extra effort to take up the sacrifices and prayers you committed to on Ash Wednesday. Enter Holy Week with a heart on fire for God, and whenever life seems to get too tough, when your sins seem insurmountable-remember:

Jesus took the hit for you.

POPE CULTURE is LIVE!

2013-03-14T22:19:00.001-04:00

You know the post with all the MEMEs??

We converted it to it's own blog!

POPE CULTURE! <<<======click on the link!!!!!

PopeCulture.net is LIVE!!!! Bookmark it for lots of fun Catholic goodies!!!!

Indulge Me ( Part ONE)- The Indulgence for the Papal Blessing of Pope Francis

2013-03-14T16:40:00.005-04:00

This is the first of a THREE part series on indulgences. It was only supposed to be TWO, and I started writing them some time ago, but yesterday's election of Pope Francis presented an opportunity to make it a teachable moment!

Here in PART ONE, I will describe the current process for obtaining an indulgence.
In PART TWO, you will learn what an indulgence really is, read about the logic behind indulgences, and how they truly are part of God's mercy toward us.
In PART THREE, I will discuss the history of indulgences and how they have evolved over the years. And I'm betting most of you take away new knowledge about them!
First, please take the time to READ our new Holy Fathers first words to us...

Pope Francis: his first words

"Brothers and sisters good evening.

You all know that the duty of the Conclave was to give a bishop to Rome. It seems that my brother Cardinals have come almost to the ends of the earth to get him… but here we are. I thank you for the welcome that has come from the diocesan community of Rome.

First of all I would say a prayer pray for our Bishop Emeritus Benedict XVI.. Let us all pray together for him, that the Lord bless him and Our Lady protect him.

Our Father…
Hail Mary…
Glory to the Father…

And now let us begin this journey, the Bishop and people, this journey of the Church of Rome which presides in charity over all the Churches, a journey of brotherhood in love, of mutual trust. Let us always pray for one another. Let us pray for the whole world that there might be a great sense of brotherhood. My hope is that this journey of the Church that we begin today, together with help of my Cardinal Vicar, be fruitful for the evangelization of this beautiful city.

And now I would like to give the blessing, but first I want to ask you a favour. Before the bishop blesses the people I ask that you would pray to the Lord to bless me – the prayer of the people for their Bishop. Let us say this prayer – your prayer for me – in silence.

[The Protodeacon announced that all those who received the blessing, either in person or by radio, television or by the new means of communication receive the plenary indulgence in the form established by the Church. He prayed that Almighty God protect and guard the Pope so that he may lead the Church for many years to come, and that he would grant peace to the Church throughout the world.]

[Immediately afterwards Pope Francis gave his first blessing Urbi et Orbi – To the City and to the World.]

I will now give my blessing to you and to the whole world, to all men and women of good will.

Brothers and sisters, I am leaving you. Thank you for your welcome. Pray for me and I will be with you again soon.
We will see one another soon.

Tomorrow I want to go to pray the Madonna, that she may protect Rome.

Good night and sleep well!"
**************************
I think I'm going to like this guy. A lot.
So- back to that speech- note the part I have highlighted. There is a PLENARY INDULGENCE connected to that blessing!!!! So if you saw it- in just about any way you might have seen it- you are eligible for the indulgence!!

***********
So- how do you GET an indulgence? You must be a Catholic in a state of grace ( see #3) at least by the time you have completed the indulgence.

Indulgences are connected to an EVENT or an action. My initial reason for this series was to explain the indulgence connected to the Year of Faith. As we can see, the Urbi et Orbi Blessing ( to the city and to the world) is an indulgenced event. Other indulgenced events include being present at: a First Eucharist, an Ordination, time spent in adoration, a visit to a cemetery, your parish's titular feast, reading scripture, praying the Stations of the Cross ( special props if you do it in Jerusalem :-) ) This list is NOT complete- you can google Enchiridion (en-keer-ID-ee-on) of Indulgences for a more exhaustive treatment. Be sure you look at a list dated 1999 or later.

During the Pauline Year, indulgenced events included attending Mass at a parish named for St. Paul. During the Jubilee year, Bishops selected locations within their Dioceses as "pilgrimage" sights. In the diocese of Toledo, Bishop Blair designated the Shrine at Carey. The Feast of St Peter and Paul (June 29) is indulgenced. And it's my wedding anniversary! In the month of November, all indulgences are on behalf of the dead (you can apply them to a specific person or let the Lord decide).

Within a reasonable amount of time ( generally a week or so before and after the indulgenced event), complete the following:

1.You must participate in the event to obtain the indulgence, and you MUST have the intention of obtaining the indulgence. You can't sin by accident, and consequently- you can't get an indulgence by accident either!
2. Receive Holy Eucharist.
3. Make a sacramental Confession. (This brings you into the required state of grace)
4. Pray for the Intentions of the Holy Father. ( these change monthly and are available HERE )
5. (This is the tough one!) Have a complete detachment from all sin- even venial sin.

You may obtain ONE plenary (complete) indulgence per day, and it may be applied to yourself or offered for the dead, but NOT to another living person.

If you do not successfully complete the plenary indulgence, you still get a partial indulgence. More on those terms in PART TWO. <===click here

Indulge Me ( Part TWO).... What Indulgences REALLY are, and Why YOU Should Get One!

2013-03-14T16:40:00.002-04:00

In Part ONE, we learned how to obtain an indulgence. There is absolutely NOTHING that we can do to make up to the Lord for our sins, all of which offend him greatly. Nothing. That is why Jesus had to die on the cross. It was our only hope. God is merciful, but he is also just, and justice demands that we offer some sort of action to show our sorrow for having offended God. That is what an indulgence does: it is a series of actions that in no way makes up for our offenses, yet our merciful Lord accepts them as our humble apology and promise to do better. Through indulgences, the Lord offers us a way to remove the stain of sin from our souls because only that which is pure and clean and holy may enter heaven...and very few people have ever died that ready to walk through the pearly gates. The graces and mercy we receive through indulgences are not based on our own merits or works, but solely on the infinite merits of Jesus Christ.

Indulgences show us the mercy of God in relation to the justice of God.

Indulgences have changed over the years, as we will see in Part THREE.
For now, let's look at how indulgences WORK.

Indulgences are defined as "the remission of the temporal punishment due for sins that have already been sacramentally forgiven." There's a lot in that sentence....

Imagine you have stolen something. You are arrested and tried. Let's even say you plead guilty and are truly sorry for the crime. OK, no biggie. The justice system just lets you go. You ARE sorry, after all. That is how it works, right?

Of course not. Even if you plead guilty, you still have a sentence for the crime, a just punishment. Let's say it was a small item, and they give you 6 months in jail.

Serve your time, and it is all behind you, right?

Wrong. You have paid for your crime, but you still have a record. Every time you fill out a job application, you need to put you have been convicted of theft. Your past still follows you, it stains you, so to speak.

That is what sin does to our souls. Sin stains us. When we go to confession, the Lord forgives our sins (Christ after all, paid the punishment- "did the time"- on the cross for all of our sins- even the ones we never confess)- they are washed away...but the stain of sin remains on our souls.

Returning to our example, let's say you fulfill the terms of your post-release, report to your parole officer, do community service and become a fine and upstanding citizen. You can petition the court, show them what you have done, say you have learned your lesson. If they agree, they will seal- or perhaps even expunge- your record. Then you no longer need to put anything about it on job applications- it is as good as gone.

THAT is what an indulgence does! It wipes clean your record. ... Remember purgatory from earlier posts? Purgatory is where we remain until we are purged from any stain of sins for which we have already been forgiven we have when we die. Remember- purgatory is for those who are saved. Indulgences help us cleanse our sins here, in this life. And the really cool part about them? We can gain indulgences for the deceased! The Communion of Saints in action! We cannot, however, obtain indulgences for other living people. They are for ourselves or for the deceased.

Returning to the two types of indulgences, a plenary indulgence is "complete," a removal of all punishment due for sins which have already been sacramentally forgiven. If you don't get the plenary when it is available, you still get a partial.

Indulgences have changed over the years, so let's back up and take a look at the history of indulgences in part THREE.<====click here

Indulge Me ( Part THREE)- The Checkered History of Indulgences

2013-03-14T16:40:00.000-04:00

Indulgences get a bad rap, and - considering how they have been abused in the past- perhaps rightly so.

But they are different now- these are not your Grandma's indulgences!

If you are old enough... say- over 50- you may remember rattling off things like:

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" - 3 years!
"Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, have mercy on us." 20 days!
...or even making the Sign of the Cross. A week!

These- and other prayers- are indulgenced, as we discussed in Part ONE. Many a Catholic school student used prayers like these to "take time off purgatory" between classes... and that is the problem.

You see- in the past, indulgenced prayers would have times listed after them. Is was often misunderstood what those times meant.
Three years, 20 days, two weeks- those were not "time off of purgatory," because there is no time in purgatory. Or Heaven, Or Hell for that matter. They all exist outside of time!

So what did the times mean?

They were the equivalent of the old-fashioned sackcloth-and-ashes penances! Say a certain prayer, and it was the same as doing two weeks in sackcloth and ashes on the steps of the church begging alms for the poor!

So, why the change? My guess is one of two things happened:
1. The church steps got too full of sackcloth-clad penitents.
2. Confessions dropped off because people didn't want to do public penance.

Pope Urban II offered a plenary indulgence to the Crusaders who had made a sacramental confession. Makes sense- these guys were risking their lives in defense of the Holy Land.

Pope Leo X offered indulgences to raise money to rebuild St Peter's Basilica. One man working for him took this and ran with it, making outlandish promises to donors in order bring in more money. Throughout the centuries, many unscrupulous men bought and sold indulgences. I won't deny any of that. It is history. The Church is holy, the people with in her? No always.

No wonder Martin Luther was upset. He was right. It was wrong. But the Church was not wrong, the actions by people within the Church and acting in the name of the Church (with or without permission) were wrong. While Luther did not deny the Pope’s right to grant pardons for penance imposed by the Church, he made it clear that preachers who claimed indulgences absolved buyers from all punishments and granted them salvation were in error. (Thesis 21) Yep. He was right.

Have indulgences been abused? Yes.
Have indulgences been sold? Yes.
Has the Church's teaching on indulgences changed? NO.

By the mid 1500's, the Pope had forbidden any connection between money and indulgences. This was after some years of phasing it out. Over the next 400 years, the means for obtaining indulgences evolved, but never again has included money. The buying or selling of holy objects is called SIMONY, and it is a sin. And -the really important point here- the definition of an indulgence has remained the same: the full or partial remission of the temporal punishment due for sins which have already been sacramentally forgiven. The Church has the authority to set the conditions for indulgences by virtue of the authority given to her by the Lord, and by virtue of the infinite merits of Jesus Christ.

Paul VI removed the whole idea of 'time' attachments to indulgences in the late 1960's. He favored focus on the spiritual goods (faith and penitential acts) of the practice of indulgences and wanted to stop people from being so hung up on the concept of time. At that point, indulgences became either plenary (full) or partial. Faith and penance are necessary for both the remission of the eternal punishment due for sin and for the temporal punishment due for sin. In Indulgentiarum doctrina Pope Paul VI wrote: "Indulgences cannot be gained without a sincere conversion of outlook and unity with God".(article 11)

One incredibly important plenary indulgence is the one given by a priest to an actively dying person. It is called the Apostolic Blessing and it is the reason it is so important to call a priest for a dying Catholic. If a priest is not available, the blessing is automatically extended to they dying person who has established a fruitful prayer life. God can do that.

Over the years since Paul VI's changes, the indulgenced acts have evolved. What has not changed is that indulgences are supplements to the Christian life. They do not replace a conversion of heart and a life of prayer and penance and charity. We are human; we fail. Every day. God's righteous justice is tempered by his mercy, for which we must show gratitude. In conjunction with regular, sacramental confession, indulgences aid us is showing contrition before the Lord and a sincere desire to conform our lives to his will.

That can never be a bad thing!

:-)

2013-03-14T13:33:00.001-04:00

HABEMUS PAPAM

FRANCISCUM

It's Pi Day, Pi Day....What does that have to do with GOD?

2013-03-14T00:01:00.000-04:00

If you have never heard it, THIS will take you a really great song about PI :-) ( safe for work)

Yes, friends, today is PI DAY.... 3.14. In two years it will be really fun, we get two more digits!

A few years ago, Pi Day fell on a Sunday, so I asked the PREP (Sunday School, Religious Education) students to help me figure out how God is like PI.... and how God is like PIE. Naturally, we had PIE for snack that day while we brainstormed. The younger students didn't understand Pi, but they did PIE. So everyone joined in the fun.

Here are a few of their observations...

God is like PIE...he is always good.
God is like PI... he goes on forever.
God is like PIE...he is sweet.
God is like PI...he is part of the cricle of life ( how awesome is THAT??)

They had other answers, those are the ones I recall off the top of my head.
The point I made to the students was that math- as much as some will grow to hate it as they move into the complicated stuff- has always been proof to me that there is a God- and Pi is the icing on the cake.

You see, I am a scientist by nature. I was a chemistry major first time around in college. Unlike some people who educate themselves out of belief in God, the more I learned, the more I saw God at work...planting Easter eggs for those who bother to recognize them.

Pi... a number that never ends and never repeats itself, and is completely wrapped up in the geometry of circles- which themselves represent eternity (as in wedding rings). Circular geometry is utterly fascinating! The circumference of a circle is ALWAYS Pi times twice the radius. Always. The area of a circle is always Pi
time the radius squared. Always.

Fibonacci numbers (0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21...)- each number in the sequence is the sum of the two numbers before it. Fibonacci numbers are found throughout nature, you can learn more about them HERE . You can have fun with Fibonacci numbers and Pascal's triangle, too....

And here is another fun observation....
1² + 1² = 1x2
1² + 1² + 2² = 2x3
1² + 1² + 2² + 3² = 3x5
1² + 1² + 2² + 3² + 5² = 5x8
1² + 1² + 2² + 3² + 5² + 8² = 8x13

Do you see the pattern? How cool is that??? The formula is : 1² + 1² + 2² + 3² + ... + F(n)² = F(n)F(n+1)
and it is true for ANY n from 1 upwards.

Avogadro's number. Around here, we jokingly call it avocado's number...which inevitably leads to a discussion about guacamole ( we have a weird collective humor....). 6.02x 10^23 ( I don't know how to type exponents here!). That is the number of atoms in one mole of a substance, and that mole will weigh in grams the atomic weight of that substance. One mole of carbon 12 weighs 12 grams. That's why stoichiometry is so much fun!

The Golden Ratio? You see it everywhere and don't even realize it. That rectangle that just looks.... right? Probably has Golden Ratio proportions. Architects often use it when designing buildings. Cool stuff.

Look at the basic building blocks of matter: atomic and sub-atomic particles. They are all the same. Put them together the right way and you get hydrogen or helium or gold or YOU.

Move the earth a little closer- or farther- from the sun...and life ceases to exist.

The higher you get in mathematics and science, the more you can see--- none of this is an accident. It's nothing short of God sending out a 'ping' just to see if you are paying attention. To believe anything else is simply arrogant.

When I was a child, I remember watching "Cosmos" with Carl Sagan (an atheist- just saying). His whole approach was geared toward making us realize how small and insignificant the earth is in the grand scheme of the universe...and we as humans even less so.

Somehow, I missed that feeling as I studied math and science, my wonder and awe saw something different.

When God created it all- from the first minute particle onward...he knew I was going to be a part of his wonderful creation.

And when Jesus Christ hung on the cross, he did it for me.

I am not less than insignificant in the infinite universe. I am a wonderful and unique child of God, desired and planned for by HIM from all eternity....

...and so are you. Don't ever forget that!

Catholic Social Justice- Part One ( and HABEMUS PAPAM!!!)

2013-03-13T15:55:00.001-04:00

One of my pet peeves is the misrepresentation of Catholic Social Justice Teaching. Mostly because people either completely misunderstand Church teaching on the matter or they intentionally distort the truth and cherry-pick quotations to suit their purposes.

This is the first of a series of posts about this wonderful body of teachings given to us by the lord through his Church. It will not be an exhaustive treatment; I hope, rather, to break the larger concept into bite-size pieces and present them so that those of you who take the time to read will (hopefully) learn something new or gain a fresh perspective.

What IS social justice teaching?

Catholic social justice teaching refers to a collection of principles that guide a person in making decisions about their behavior in the world-specifically, behavior toward others and especially those less fortunate. It is an example of development of doctrine: the teachings have always been true, but they have not always been put to paper or formally taught as a single body.

Rerum Novarum (by Pope Leo XIII in 1891) and Quadragesimo Ano ( by Pius Xi in1931) are often cited as examples of early formal social justice teaching. In truth, social justice teaching goes back to Christ- and even reaches into the Old Testament. Social justice teachings remind us to be grateful for the blessings we have from the Lord, and to not be greedy about what we have.

Old Testament social justice directives include:
Deuteronomy 15- Loans to other Israelites must be interest free, and in the end of the seven year (sabbatical) cycle, those free loans are to be forgiven. The Israelites were called upon to help their countrymen who needed it- and to always be mindful of the debt that owe to the Lord, who provided the abundance they had to be able to share with those in need.

Levitucus 23:22- When harvesting a field, you must leave some of the crop behind for gleaners. This allows the poor to work for their share of the grain, rather than begging for it...preserving their dignity. Remember, too-this gleaning was key in the story of Ruth...who becasme an ancestor of Jesus Christ.

I could go on and on. I won't right now, because there is much to say over the series.

In conclusion- I first celebrate and offer a prayer for Pope Francis I, who was elected only 2 hours ago. I had planned this series on social justice for some time and his election tells me the nudging came from the Holy Spirit!

Lord, strengthen your servant Francis I. Fill him with your Holy Spirit, that he may faithfully fill the shoes of the Fisherman and guide the world closer to Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Family- the Garden of Vocations

2013-03-10T14:05:00.001-04:00

He's such a goof.
This is Saturday- night entertainment in our home. Two of our children have completely left the nest: the oldest (a daughter) is a nurse in Texas and our middle child ( 2nd oldest son) is in the U.S.Air Force, stationed in Alaska. Spring breaks overlapped for offspring numbers 2, 3 and 5- so I thought it would be fun to put together a care package for their brother, complete with home-made cookies. Everyone added something to the bowl- even GG- so we could say we ALL made them for Steven. We moms get silly ideas like that.

As I waited for the timer, I looked up and saw Joey (child #6, youngest son), with my Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook before him like the Roman Missal, raising a pizzelle as if he were elevating a host. A few minutes later, he added the collar made from an Aldi's receipt, and I snapped this picture.

It reminded me of Ash Wednesday a few years ago. Joey (then in maybe 2nd or 3rd grade) and I both had the flu and were snuggled up in my bed, content to be miserable together. At one point I mentioned something about being sad to miss Ash Wednesday Mass because it is one I always enjoy. When the rest of the kids got home from school, Joey disappeared for a while. When he returned- siblings in tow- they put together an Ash Wednesday Mass for me. They all had their liturgical assignments and brought the necessary vessels into my room. Joey was the priest (wearing my royal-purple nightshirt). My silver Paul Revere bowl functioned as a ciboria/paten. Glass salad cruets for the water/ Capri Sun. A white bath robe for the server. Linen napkins and tablecloth for the card-table altar. An old Worship hymnal for the Missal. Apparently there was quite a conversation about an appropriate vessel to use as a chalice, since GLASS/ CRYSTAL is expressly forbidden by the rubrics for Mass (even though one parish continues to use them). Naturally, they had the traditional play-Mass smashed bread hosts.

We had music, readings, a homily (albeit brief), the consecration. Even ashes. Emily was very excited to be the server. They did a good job re-creating the experience.

It wasn't their first time playing Mass. They did it a lot when my our oldest were younger. Steven was always the priest (his insistence). One of my favorite times they played Mass was when we were at our summer home in South Carolina. The little boy who lived next door was over to play- and they included him. He had no idea what was going on, but he played along.

Here I am going to see who really reads theses posts, just because I am curious... I get 30+ views on each one, but rarely are there comments... so check in below. Are you really reading this? :-) Humor me!

As an only child in a marginally Catholic family, I didn't get to play Mass, although I understand it has long been a spontaneous staple of play-time in homes with enough children to pull it off. Watching my children re-create the Mass at home over the years has made me realize a few things.

First- the children do pay attention during Mass. Of course, it helps that we sat in the front row to keep them from being distracted. This is the #1 mistake parents make when taking children to Mass- they sit in the back. When you are all of 3 feet tall, that means the only thing you can see is the tushes of the people in front of you. Not a very interesting way to spend an hour! As our children became old enough to serve at the altar and in other liturgical ministries, they jumped right in because they were intimately familiar with the rituals. Two priests told me they liked having my children serve for them because they knew when something was missing- and would go ahead and fix it without being told. That's pretty cool. Of course, there was also the advantage of getting an entire serving team with ONE phone call.

Second- children do not waste time "playing" meaningless games. Play is a child's work. It how they learn. What do children play? School. Doctor. House. Hot Wheels. Through their play, they are internalizing significant ideas about life. The doctor will always tell the child that the shot might hurt a little- but it will keep them from getting sick. They realize their teachers want them to grow and learn. They see that moms and dads work hard to make a home for their children. And Mass? They see how many people work together to help us all worship the Lord in the highest way possible: the holy sacrifice of the Mass.

Third- children get to try on the liturgical ministries. Would I like to read at Mass? Am I brave enough to cantor or sing in the choir? Would I like to be an altar server? What would it be like to be a priest? We don't ask that question enough of our young men, you know. About 15 years ago, I did ask a teen if he had ever considered the priesthood. He said he was discerning; he was ordained four years ago. Another young man I asked explored religious life and is now a chaplain. About eight years ago I told one of my 7th graders I wanted the seat next to his mom when he is ordained. Still waiting on that one :-)

When we ask young men if they have considered the priesthood, we are planting an important seed. We should also ask young women about religious life. It is the duty of every Christian to plant those seeds- in our own children, in our grandchildren, in our children's friends, in every young person we have the opportunity to influence. It is never wasted- the thought will return to them, and if they are wise, they will spend time discerning God's will in their lives. The Lord will speak to them and lead them. Just because we think we see something in a young man to lead us to ask the question of him doesn't mean that is his call. But we can never disregard the fact that when we see a guy and think, "He'd make a good priest," that perhaps the Holy Spirit has planted the thought within us- and needs us to plant the seed in that young man.

The family truly is the garden for vocations. And in any garden, we plant the seeds- the Lord decides how they will grow. Married life, religious life, single life- or the priesthood- all are vocations. Our children watch how we live the faith, how it is a part- or not a part- of the decisions we make, the way we behave, our attitudes about Holy Days and Mass attendance in general, and our attitudes toward the Church and how she hands on the faith as the Lord has established.

If we prattle on about this thing or that being wrong with the Church, if we consistently miss Mass in direct opposition to what God has asked of us, if we don't show any regard for fasting and abstinence....or if we tacitly approve what is objectively wrong (or sinful) by simply saying nothing... we are sowing weeds in the garden. Those weeds can strangling the gentle shoot of a vocation to the priesthood by bad-mouthing celibacy or the all-male priesthood. They strangle vocations by saying women join the convent because they can't find husbands. They strangle vocations by encouraging unchastity and artificial contraception- and artificial CONCEPTION- thus denying God's primacy over our lives and raising smaller families where children hesitate to pursue God's call...because their parents want grandchildren or need someone to carry on the family name.

Will Steven or Joey one day put the Roman collar around their necks? Time will tell. More than anything, I hope my children each actively and prayerfully discern what the Lord is calling them to do with their lives, because thenI know they will be happy.

Plant good seed in the garden of vocations, as much as you can. Nurture those young plants, feed them well with the Eucharist and be sure they have plenty of time in the light of the Lord's presence. Above all, don't plant weeds!

Conclave-related Photos/Memes/Humor: UPDATED REGULARLY!!!

2013-03-07T17:12:00.000-05:00

We'll see what kind of form this ends up taking, but I have seen some pretty funny- if irreverent - memes and editorial cartoons, and thought it would be great to assemble them.

* IF YOU FIND SOMETHING, PLEASE EMAIL IT (WITH THE LINK) TO: ROSARIESBYIRENE@AOL.COM***

The following is the Coat-of-Arms representing sede vacante...now hanging in the USCCB offices:

Pope Benedict's tweets have been archived... his Twitter is now empty, awaiting the next Holy Father!

Only images of sitting popes may be displayed in Catholic institutions, so at the moments his reseignation became official, Pope Benedict XVI's portrait was removed from the USCCB office..

My Amazing Grandmother

2013-03-03T13:46:00.000-05:00

That's my grandmother, Irene...but everyone calls her GG. It started when my children needed a way to tell the difference between Grandma and Great- Grandma. GG. With her is one of my sons, Steven, at his graduation from Air Force BMT. But I'm getting ahead of myself....

You see, two years ago today, GG moved in with my family. It wasn't a run-of-the-mill "Grandma can't live alone any more" move. No, this one had more urgency. On January 25,2011 I was on a bus full of 7th and 8th graders in Washington DC for the March for Life ( and class trip). We had just finished off our plans and I gave the driver the go-ahead to make way toward Ohio. My mom called: GG was in the hospital, and it wasn't good. I cried when I hung up the phone. God bless Jim Riepenhoff for sitting there with me on that long drive home.

We arrived back in Lima around 3am, I got all the kids and ( most of) their stuff into the correct vehicles and headed home. When the alarm went off at 6am, my husband asked me if I wanted to go to Cleveland to see GG. He took the day off of work, and we took our two youngest with us to say good-bye to my 91 year-old grandmother. At all of 5'2" and 100 pounds soaking wet, she looked lost in the hospital bed.She had a wound that got infected and the infection got into her bloodstream. During some tests at the hospital, she awoke disoriented, panicked and had a heart attack. Her kidneys were failing. The doctors said she was too old for a transplant, too frail for dialysis... so let's just put her in hospice. They wrote her off. There will be a LOT more of this coming with Obamacare- only the government will decide whose life has value.

GG felt horrible and - I learned later- she thought 'hospice' meant 'nursing home.' For the record- my husband, Tim never gave up on her, "You grandmother is feisty. Don't count her out!"

I then went through the very frustrating experience of getting a priest to the hospital to anoint her. Frustrating because- as my husband points out- I have 8 priests in my cell phone contacts who would- and HAVE- gone to anoint someone because I asked them to. But that's in Lima/ Toledo Diocese. God bless you in Cleveland if you aren't actively dying and need anointing! Persistence paid off.

Over the next few weeks, my car made a lot of trips to Cleveland. We cleaned out GG's apartment. She had put notes on many things so we knew who to give them to, not that our family is that large. Debbie left BG for a couple days to help. My uncle flew in to help with sorting through things, then we had an estate sale. The day of the sale, my mother looked at me and said, "What are we going to do if she lives? We're selling all her stuff." I looked at her, and in the presence of my 12 and 14 years olds said, "She'll move in with us."

This photo was taken Feb. 9, 2011, around the time of the estate sale.

By the middle of February, her inpatient Medicare-paid hospice days were drying up quickly...and she wasn't. My mother started calculating how long her money would last, and looking at Holy Family or Malachi House. ** I talked to Tim about moving her to Lima. We had his dad living with us in his final illness, so this was not something beyond the pale for our family...and I couldn't stand the thought of my grandmother dying in a nursing home. But before we could bring her here, I had a boatload of work to do to convert the living room into HER room. I had staked my claim on her living room set... so we would be able to set the room up with her own furniture. First, though, I had to paint. No way around it- the colors would have been awful together. I also had projects for work resetting Walmart paint departments around western Ohio (involving construction, and "I" was the team lead on them) AND I had to coordinate Confirmation for both parishes, as my counterpart's son was critically ill and she wasn't working at the time.

Cool thing? I painted the living room, dining room and foyer for under $50. Remember those paint sets? I snagged the clearance paint! :-)

I circled the wagons, rounded up the troops and recruited our children's friends for furniture moving (including my grand piano and a huge computer hutch and large home office desk and credenza) . Tim found curtains and new rods. It all came together, and on March 3rd, St Rita's delivered the hospital bed, oxygen concentrator, wheelchair and commode 2 hours before the ambulance with GG pulled into the driveway.

As an aside... she got here as the LCC boys were getting home. She was hungry- and a little miffed that the guys in the ambulance wouldn't stop for a hamburger on the way. I sent the boys to Happy Daz for a burger...which she devoured....

As I said earlier, that was two years ago today. She had been bedridden for over 5 weeks and the hospice in Cleveland said she had 2 weeks to live. I said they would be the best 2 weeks of her life. I brought her meals in bed for a couple days, then moved her to the wheelcahir and into the kitchen to eat. She enjoyed sitting on the sofa...and Juneau helped keep an eye on her. This photo was taken March 11, 2011.

Hospice brought a gait belt and one day I told her we were going to just stand with the walker and see how that went. Well, she stood.... and took off across the living room floor to sit on the couch. We haven't used the wheelchair since- except when traveling or when we would go for longer walks outside.

When my mother came to Lima on March 23 to celebrate GG's 92nd birthday...GG met her at the door. It really is something to celebrate a birthday with a person you were sure would not live to see that birthday!

May 15th, as we ate breakfast, Juneau was eying GG and whining like she was mooching. Thing was- GG was eating a banana, and although GG will always give Juneau a bite of what she has, Juneau doesn't like bananas. I reminded Juneau of that, then watched as GG's faced drooped on both sides- she was having a stroke and Juneau knew! You can see the fire station from our back yard, I could hear the sirens before I had given 911 all the information. It was a mild stroke. The only lasting effect? Her memory improved!

Each day when the kids came home from school, Steven would sit next to GG and ask her to go to prom with him. She blushed. Time came for prom and after they had dinner, Steven and Mary stopped at the house and he danced the first dance of his senior prom in the driveway with his 92 year old great- grandmother.

She made it to Steven and Moose's high school graduations. She flew with Mary and me to San Antonio for Steven's Air Force BMT graduation. This photo was taken at the airport, February 1, 2012.

She went to the world premiere of Bee Dead last year. She went along for the ride on the one-mile Positive Addiction in 2012 ( we're going to start training for this year). She loves the St Rose Festival and generally wins on the Joes. :-) She has gained over 20 pounds and keeps complaining her clothes are shrinking and she needs new jeans because she can't button hers any more.She gets her hair done every Thursday and takes care of her personal needs herself. I'm the pill passer, chauffeur, and cook.

Oh- that wound that started all this? As of 3 weeks ago- it is completely healed!

She shares wonderful stories of growing up on a farm with a horse-drawn plow... her mother, the moonshiner during Prohibition...getting a job at a bank with an 8th grade education and working her way up to head of the department...helping my grandfather study for his exams to be an engineer on the old Penn-Central ... rationing during WWII... the ice-box days, when you shopped for groceries every day...saving up money with a friend to share a banana split at the ice cream parlor when she was a girl in Galeen, MI... the dogs she has had throughout her life...I could go on and on! She is a living history text, and we are so blessed to have had this time with her- and look forward to celebrating birthday #94 on March 23rd!

** Holy Family Home and Malachi House are both AMAZING places. But they are for people with no money and/or no family to care for them. They are for the destitute. They do God's work there, but it was not where GG should be when she had family.

Thanks, Pope Benedict XVI: The Interregnum Begins

2013-02-28T10:41:00.000-05:00

All forms of media have been saturated with items and news about Pope Benedict XVI’s retirement. Which is why- except for a few words after the announcement- I have avoided the subject. The topic has not been far from my mind, however.

As we enter the interregnum, I’d like to reflect on a few things that some people get, and most people will never understand.

Pope Benedict XVI was exactly the Pope we needed after John Paul II. A Pope usually reigns for about 10 years, so JPII’s reign was extraordinary. I vaguely remember Paul VI’s passing- then John Paul I so soon after. Like many people under the age of 60, JPII was the only Pope I remembered even caring about. Benedict XVI was a lot like him; they were both scholarly, fatherly figures who loved Jesus Christ with their entire being. Sounds like the job description for Pope, actually. Now we may return to the old way- shorter reigns, more of turnover in the job.

The media acts as though this is a big deal. It is- but not for the reasons they push. It is a big deal because the Church is saying goodbye to her beloved Papa. The upside is we are not mourning, as would normally be the case.

The Church is not a business or an organization. She is a family. She operates as a family, not a democracy. Jesus Christ is the head of the Church; the Pope is his vicar. The Pope’s role is to lead the Church as a father- which is why he is called “Papa.” The respected parent is not the one who bows to every whim of the child, letting him do whatever he wishes. The respected parent upholds the rules- and takes time to explain why the rules are necessary. In this case- they are necessary if we see them in view of our eternal destiny.

The body of writings BXVI leaves us is amazing- and more is likely on the way. ( I hope!) Encyclicals and apostolic letters have been the primary writings of most popes- including JPII. Benedict gave us full-length books, written to be understood by lay Catholics. Not long after he was elected, we were on vacation. I sat by the hotel pool reading The Spirit of the Liturgy, written while he was still Cardinal Ratzinger. (I have read it twice since then- it never gets old) My husband was on the chaise next to me. Enthusiastic about the text, I proclaimed, “Yes. Yes! YES!” Tim asked, “WHAT are you reading?!” “A book by the POPE!” His reply…. “Oh. You sound like an Herbal Essences commercial.” At the time, I was just beginning to delve into the rich treasury of Church writings we have at our fingertips. Spirit was so easy to understand- yet so rich, deep and eloquent. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to understand liturgy in a new and exciting way. I promise, you will never look at the Mass the same!

A newspaper article asked if having “two popes” was going to be a problem for the Church. See? That’s the kind of ignorance in the media. Any Catholic will tell you- there is only one Pope. Benedict will enjoy the honor and respect he deserves in his retirement, but he is no longer our Pope. That makes me a little sad. I will miss him!

Another article suggested a nun be chosen as Pope. Sigh. If you need a refresher on why that will not happen, see HERE.

By far, the most aggravating pundits have been those who insist that the Cardinal- Electors choose a Pope “more with the times,” “more forward- thinking” or “not in the dark ages.” Another example of how people simply do not understand. It is not the Church’s job to bow to the times or the whim of a few people. It is the Church’s role to uphold the teachings of Jesus Christ. Her constancy and consistency and faithfulness to that role have kept her intact for 2000 years. He promised that, you know- when he made Peter the first Pope…and Christ himself promised that the gates of hell will not prevail against his Church.

The Church will not change- cannot change- God’s standards, meaning no change on homosexual so-called “marriage,” ordination of women, or artificial contraception/abortion. Sorry, liberals. It ain’t gonna happen.

So, no matter WHO the next Pope is, no matter where he was born, no matter his political views, I am confident that he will be elected by the influence of the Holy Spirit. He will uphold the teachings of Jesus Christ. And the One, True Church of Jesus Christ will continue until Christ returns in glory.

Lord, thank you for giving your Church the gift of Pope Benedict XVI. Bless him in his retirement, comfort him in his afflictions, and fill his heart with the gratitude we, your people, have for his service to us. We ask you to send your Holy Spirit to fill the hearts and minds of the Cardinal-Electors as they prepare to enter the conclave. May the man who enters as Cardinal and leaves as Pope be strengthened by our prayers and by your Spirit dwelling within him as he takes the helm of the Barque of Peter. Amen.

How to Get People to Leave Your Parish in 10 Easy Steps

2013-02-27T13:36:00.000-05:00

The Screwtape Letters by C.S.Lewis is a favorite of mine. For those unfamiliar with the book, Screwtape (a devil) sends a series of letters to his nephew, Wormwood ( an apprentice devil), offering advice on wooing the patient (a nominal Christian) away from the enemy (God).

As you can imagine, the book is awkward reading at first- especially if you are unaware of what Lewis is doing. It is, however, quite insightful- and really gets you thinking!

In that vein, I offer you…. “How to get people to leave your parish in 10 easy steps.” An effective tool for maintaining the integrity of your parish life and ensuring it doesn’t suffer from the onslaught that newcomers bring.

1. Discourage ministry participation by anyone new. You really are not in need of any new Extraordinary ministers, lectors, servers, ushers, funeral dinner workers or –gasp!- cantors/choir members. It is rather presumptuous for someone to offer to serve in those ministries without being asked (and you will not ask them). This also applies to helping in Religious Ed, parish festivals, bingo and other events and fundraisers. The parish has managed quite nicely without the newcomers, and will do just fine without them. The nerve!

2. Never, ever, ever let someone sit in your pew! Arrive early for your spot. If you happen to get there at the same time as someone new (because your fellow parishioners KNOW where you sit), simply keep scooting down the pew until you push them right out. I saw this one expertly executed on February 24, 2013. It was beautiful! The trespasser didn’t even realized what had happened. Flawless!

3. Be sure the ChriEasters know they are not welcome back. You’ll take their money in the collection basket for the holiday, but let’s not push it. Don’t share hymnals and- for crying out loud- be sure you hug the end of the pews! Scooting toward the middle of the pew so there is room for more people to sit is ridiculous- and might be perceived as welcoming, which can’t be allowed. Besides, it looks good if people are standing for Mass.

4. If your parish does the Protestant “welcome those around you” bit (shudder!), and you see someone new/ from another parish say something like, “ Oh, are you slumming it today?” or “What are you doing on this side of town?” That way, they get the idea they don’t belong.

5. Kill creative and/or innovative ideas as soon as they are offered. “We have always done it this way” effectively shuts down most people. Especially when offered by a new member- or one who rarely offers input- new ideas are a way for them to try to weasel into parish life. Next thing you know, they’ll think they run the place, and that cannot be allowed. Shoot it down quickly. Then, some time later, you can re-present the idea as your own- which is acceptable, since you are an established parishioner. Ideas to draw in young people and young adults must be stopped. You cannot tolerate even more people being invited to the parish, as this is counter-productive. However, you must push “progressive” liturgical ideas- always test the limits on those! If the rubrics don’t specify not to do something, it must be allowed. Try hand washing on Holy Thursday, ribbon-waving processions for Pentecost, so-called liturgical dance in a non-ethnic parish. This will keep away newcomers who are stuck pre-Vatican II.

6. Criticize any contribution by the young people of the parish. Expect them to be better than adults at any ministry they try. Be sure they hear you. This leaves those spots open for the adults, no matter how poorly those adults fill those ministries.

7. Question their piety, especially if it falls outside the norms of the parish… and especially if it comes from the person trying to learn more about liturgy/ Catholic faith. A perfect tool here is to call someone who wants to follow established rules and traditions a Pharisee. They understand this is an insult straight from Jesus! He berated the Pharisees for their exterior observance of the law, without having the love of God at their heart. This, of course, is how these interlopers are- and you know it, too!

8. Criticize Mass attire- She is overdressed for Mass, he is underdressed for Mass. This one is very easy. Nit-pick. Go ahead. The stability of your parish is at stake. That skirt is a tad too short, his jeans have a spot on them. That young man is wearing a T-SHIRT? Well, I never! See how simple it is? And don’t forget- head coverings or chapel veils on a woman are a sure sign she needs to be drummed out quickly. That kind of negative influence on the parish cannot be good. She’s a Pharisee, I’m sure! (see #7)

9. Gossip. Make it good and juicy so it is good fodder for the rumor mill. Lies are the best route since in gossip, a person is guilty until proven innocent- and they have no way to prove themselves innocent, because by the time they get wind of the gossip, their reputation has been completely destroyed. This is one of the best overall methods for parish size reduction, because once they do discover the gossip, they will be embarrassed and humiliated into leaving. This is where the lies are most effective: the innocent person is more embarrassed then a guilty party would be. It is easy prove someone DID do something, impossible to prove they did NOT. Don’t worry about it not being true- God understands you are doing it for the good of your parish. Besides, it might possibly, somewhat, in some small way be true and you can confess it, anyway. Then you are off the hook AND mission accomplished. What a deal!

10. RCIA. This is a dicey one. You need RCIA participants, because the Easter Vigil would be so boring without the Baptisms and Confirmations. But you certainly don’t want these people thinking they belong to your parish. Don’t make any effort to introduce yourself to them. Do not attend the welcome reception after the vigil Mass. Resort to starting at #1 above if necessary if the RCIA members actually show up for Mass after Easter. Most of them will quickly become ChriEasters if you are efficient.

There are other avenues to keeping people away. You may need to tailor these to your specific situation. But these are tried-and-true and will keep your parish just as it is for many years to come… or until there is no one left.