Choose To Be Awesome

Is Loyalty Overated

2026-07-30T06:02:35.832-07:00

I had some time to kill the other day while waiting for Uber surge pricing to come down, so I grabbed a seat at the bar of a crowded restaurant. Of course someone started to chat me up, and in DC conversations with strangers often begin the same way:

"So, what do you do for a living?"

When I told him what I did and that I'd been with the same organization for over a decade, he looked genuinely surprised.

That reaction stuck with me.

There was a time when staying with one employer for decades was considered the smartest career move. Loyalty was often rewarded with promotions, pensions, and long-term job security. Today's workforce looks very different.

Research from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that the median employee tenure in the United States is only about 3.9 years, and younger workers change jobs even more frequently. Studies from multiple compensation firms have also found that employees who strategically change jobs often see significantly larger pay increases than those who stay with the same employer year after year.

It's not hard to understand why.

Many workers have watched profitable companies lay off thousands of employees, eliminate departments after mergers, or restructure following private equity acquisitions. In many cases, strong performance and years of dedication weren't enough to guarantee security.

That doesn't mean loyalty has no value. It means loyalty should be mutual.

Be committed to your mission, your team, and doing excellent work but never stop investing in yourself. Learn new skills. Earn certifications. Expand your network. Build a reputation that travels with you because your greatest career security isn't the company you work for, it's the value you bring wherever you go.

Companies manage assets. You should manage your career with the same level of intention.

Loyalty is admirable. But in today's economy, adaptability is often what keeps your career moving forward.

Fashion at the Library: Sole Power: Sneaker Culture and the American Stor

2026-06-28T07:38:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, my sister-in-love invited me to an incredible event at the Library of Congress: Fashion at the Library: Sole Power: Sneaker Culture and the American Story.

The event was hosted by Jared Moskowitz, whose passion for sneakers goes far beyond collecting them. As a lifelong sneaker enthusiast, he helped found the Congressional Sneaker Caucus to bring people together over a shared appreciation for sneaker culture. The caucus was created as a bipartisan space where members of Congress can connect through a common interest while recognizing how sneakers intersect with fashion, business, innovation, sports, and American culture. It's a reminder that sometimes the things we have in common can open the door to conversations that go beyond politics.

What made the event stand out was the diverse backgrounds of the panelists. Each speaker brought a unique perspective shaped by their own experiences in design, education, manufacturing, retail, and advocacy.

D'Wayne Edwards shared his inspiring journey from designing shoes for some of the world's biggest brands to creating opportunities for the next generation of Black creatives. Through Pensole Lewis College and JEMS by PENSOLE (one of the first Black-owned athletic footwear factories in the United States) he is helping aspiring designers learn the craft, manufacture their own products, and build sustainable careers. His work is creating pathways that didn't exist for many young Black designers just a generation ago.

Sean Williams, co-founder of SOLEcial Studies, spoke about using sneaker culture as an educational tool. His work demonstrates how something as familiar as a pair of sneakers can open conversations about history, design, business, marketing, and culture, making learning more engaging and relevant for young people.

Matt Priest, President and CEO of the Footwear Distributors & Retailers of America (FDRA), offered valuable insight into the footwear industry's economic impact, manufacturing, retail, policy, and the future of the business. His perspective highlighted how sneakers are not just fashion, they're a major driver of innovation and the American economy.

Presented in partnership with the Congressional Sneaker Caucus, the event explored how sneaker culture has become a powerful form of self-expression while also shaping American industry and entrepreneurship.

I left with a greater appreciation for everything that goes into the shoes we wear every day, not just the design and technology, but the stories, history, and people behind them. All the speakers spoke about how sneaker Culture shaped there childhood and how it wasn't just about getting a sneaker that everyone else had but about figuring out a way to individualize the sneaker to make it your own. It was one of those events where you walk away having learned something new from every person on the stage.

Teacher Can't Do It Alone: Why Parenting Still Matters

2026-06-24T09:46:22.188-07:00

Teachers can't do it alone. If parents aren't parenting, it makes our job exponentially harder. It truly takes a village to raise a child, and children thrive most when the adults in their lives are working together.

Learning doesn't stop when a child leaves the classroom. Children are constantly learning from what they see, hear, and experience at home, in school, and in their communities. That's why consistency matters. When the expectations, routines, and values being taught at school are reinforced at home, children are more likely to succeed academically, socially, and emotionally.

One of the biggest parenting trends right now is "gentle parenting." The problem is that many people misunderstand what gentle parenting actually means. Being gentle doesn't mean having no rules, no consequences, or letting children do whatever they want. Too often, people focus on the gentle part and forget the parenting part.

Many parents don't even realize they have a parenting style. Research has identified four main parenting styles:

• Authoritative – Warm, responsive, and supportive while also setting clear expectations and consistent boundaries. These parents guide, teach, and hold children accountable.

• Authoritarian – Strict and demanding, with an emphasis on obedience. Rules are enforced with little discussion, warmth, or flexibility.

• Permissive – Loving and accepting but lacking structure and consistent boundaries. Children are often given significant freedom with few expectations.

• Uninvolved – Detached and minimally engaged. These parents provide little guidance, supervision, or emotional support.

Of the four, research consistently shows that the authoritative parenting style produces the best outcomes for most children. It balances love with limits, support with accountability, and freedom with responsibility. Children need warmth, but they also need boundaries. They need understanding, but they also need guidance. The goal isn't to be your child's best friend...it's to be the parent they need while helping them become successful, capable, and responsible adults.

We often mistake the loudest voice in the room for the strongest leader.

2026-06-01T14:21:05.934-07:00

We often mistake the loudest voice in the room for the strongest leader. But history shows that our obsession with “alpha” charisma is relatively new. For generations, people were valued more for character than performance, integrity over image, substance over self-promotion.

Somewhere along the way, society shifted from rewarding inner virtue to rewarding outward personality. We started treating confidence as competence and visibility as value. The result? Many thoughtful, capable people are overlooked simply because they are quieter.

As educators, leaders, and professionals, we should challenge that mindset.

Not everyone with social anxiety lacks ability. Not every introvert lacks leadership skills. Sometimes the person with the fewest words is the one paying the closest attention, thinking the deepest, and leading with the most intention.

Look for the quiet substance on your team, not just the person with the polished elevator pitch. The best leaders don’t always dominate the room. Sometimes they create the kind of environment where everyone else can thrive.

Dating A Single Father

2023-07-28T12:19:00.000-07:00

Being with someone who has children comes with some baggage that not everyone is ready to take on. There isn't really a casual way of going into in my opinion. When I tried getting back out there and women would say "I don't date men with kids" I didn't take it personal. Even though I had no drama I understood why some wanted to avoid the situation all together. I wasn't looking for a replacement mom, so anyone I was seeing wasn't meeting my daughters anyway unless we made it to month 6 or 9. If we just casual I don't even know you when my kids are around.

Dating a man with kids comes with many positive aspects. Most men who are actively in there children lives already have there sh*t together. (There is always the exception to the rule but that also tells you what you need to know). Aint nobody got time to play games when you checking to see if the fruit snacks are on sale. The joys of parenthood being witnessed can make even the hardest f*ck them kids woman go awww, so you'll have plenty of women ready to play step momma for couple nights. But hey I digress.

Now on to some of the potential red flags. In the beginning it can be hard for a single father to find balance between work, the kids and you. Then when you throw in the potential conflict that could arise between the ex who he had made that f*ck trophy with (Alexa play bad blood by Taylor Swift) and now you got drama. A little conflict is normal when trying to raise children in multiple households but if the breakup is fresh(he still smashing) the level of conflict could be a deal breaker. If there is excessive animosity or constant drama with an ex-partner that is a major red flag. Continuous battles and unresolved issues can negatively impact your relationship and create a tense environment for everyone involved. Pay attention to how your potential partner handles co-parenting and communication with his ex. You cant be afraid to ask questions and be ready to have those hard conversations. When it comes to kids you can't be half in and half out. Remember they don't really have a choice of being in the situation. You do...so move accordingly.

Conclusion:

Dating a man with children can be awesome and workout for all parties involved if done right. It comes with it's challenges like any other relationship, but with good communication, patience and honesty, you can build a strong and loving blended family. So if you choose to take this journey, embrace it, lead with love and cherish the moments. Kids grow fast and we never forget the way bonus parents made us feel because they had a choice.

Finding The Perfect Portion Size For Kids

2022-06-28T11:21:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered if that giant glob of mac & cheese you packed your kid for lunch was enough for lunch? Food portions have become a lot bigger, and because of this determining the right portion size for our children has become a little distorted. Children need the same variety of nutrient rich foods as adults, just in smaller quantities. I often see children with enough food in their lunch bags to feed a grown man. Defining your child serving size is actually not as complicated as you may think. A child-size portion of meat is about what would fit in your little boy or girls palm. For whole-grain carbs, such as brown rice or pasta, a serving is roughly the size of his/her fist. -- This measurement also applies to fruits, veggies, and dairy products such as yogurt. A serving of cheese is about thumb-size, and for munching on snack foods, think a handful. The great thing about this system is that it works no matter what your child's age is. As his/her hand grows so does their appetite, so you don't have to memorize portions.

Most 2–3-year old's need to consume about 1,000 calories per day. Here’s how to distribute those calories in a healthy eating plan:

• Grain Group: 3 ounces per day, preferably half of them whole grains, (3 regular slices of bread or 1 slice of bread plus 1/3 cup cold cereal and 1/4 cup cooked pasta or rice.)

• Vegetable Group: 1 cup raw/cooked per day.

• Fruit Group: 1 cup fresh, frozen, canned, dried, and/or 100% juice per day. (I would emphasize whole fruits rather than juice because the fiber in the whole fruits help to slow down the sugar rush and insulin spike.)

• Dairy Group: 2 cups of whole milk per day is recommended for children younger than 2. Older children can have low-fat/fat free milk, yogurt and cheese.

• Meat and Beans Group: 2 ounces total per day. Options include one ounce of lean meat or chicken plus one egg or 1 ounce of fish plus 1/4 cup of cooked beans (black, pinto, etc.)

• Oils: 3 teaspoons or less per day.

For younger children you should minimize sweet drinks, snacks and desserts. Children have small stomachs and these foods take up space needed for nutrient rich foods.

Week In My Life / We’re Back At The Arnold Classic

2022-03-24T08:45:00.001-07:00

They Said The Perfect Biceps Workout Didn’t Exist (Haa)

2021-12-02T12:33:00.004-08:00

This is a routine I use at the end of my training session but it can also be used as a stand alone workout.

Try it for yourself and tell me what you think. Full workout details on youtube.

Last Reps of Murph

2021-07-01T16:52:00.004-07:00

Finally uploading this video from memorial day. I wasn't going to upload it at all because one of the other cameras footage wouldn't load. I managed to splice some footage from our phones so here ya go.

Star Wars Day

2021-05-07T10:40:00.001-07:00

Simple Daily Habits to Help You Make Every Day Better

2021-05-06T13:54:00.002-07:00

Chest & Tri Workout

2021-01-13T09:20:00.002-08:00

Chest Press - 1 or 2 warm up sets - 2 working set - last one is drop set

Incline Dumbbell Press - 3 sets

Dumbbell Fly - 2 sets

Dumbbell Pullover - 2 sets

Triceps Pulldown - 2 sets with bar and 2 sets with rope

CrossFit vs Bodybuilder

2020-12-14T06:24:00.000-08:00

Chest/Triceps/Abs (with reps and sets)

2020-11-17T08:40:00.000-08:00

You have to do the WORK

2020-10-20T08:39:00.001-07:00

People always need a push. They need a thing, some kind of motivation or something to get them going. I always thought it was BS when people would ask me "Well how do you get the motivation to train every day" I would look at them like they where crazy because I truly didn't understand. My mindset was if I wake up, I'm training. If I wake up and it's raining, I'm training. If I wake up and it's snowing, I'm training. You see my gym was inside of my job, so my mindset was if I can go to work then I can train. I never understood the need for motivation until the pandemic. I've been home from work since March. I've watched every TV series, documentary, and movie on my netflex list. After two months of not being able to go to my gym and doing the same thing every single damn day I just excepted my new life and stopped putting on pants. I was ready to embrace my new sloth life and then good ol Facebook algorithm showed me an old vid of me training with the caption "motivation is fickle. It comes and goes but dedication...dedication is a choice. " You may be feeling the same way I was feeling and looking for some kind of reason to get going. So I'll tell you the same thing I told myself. You have to be your own motivation. Your dedication to yourself has to be the motivating force that gets you to do all the things. You have to do the work. I believe in you, but you have to believe in you. Now GET YO A$$ UP off that couch and lets goooo. 💪🏾If you need any help fell free to reach out to me.

Full Body Circuit

2020-07-14T11:59:00.001-07:00

Quarantine Workout Day?��‍♂️

2020-06-30T20:09:00.004-07:00

Upper Body Home Video Circuit

2020-06-09T09:12:00.002-07:00

Movement & Story Time

2020-04-28T09:26:00.001-07:00

Upper Body Home Workout

2020-03-30T06:03:00.001-07:00

Todays workout: 4 Sets
Do all exercises to failure. Take 30-45 sec breaks between sets.
Shoulder Press
Skull Crushers
Front to side raises
Bent over rows
Pushups
YTW's
Cross Scissors
Crunch

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Quarantine & Chill Workout

2020-03-26T17:43:00.001-07:00

Fat Burner Circuit

2018-03-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

I hate cardio, so to spice it up I'll add this workout into my routine right before the holidays:

Elliptical 15 mins medium-fast pace

Body Weight SuperSet 5 Sets
Pull-Ups - Reps: as many as you can
Push-Ups - Reps: as many as you can
Squats - Reps: as many as you can
Bicep Curl into a shrug - Reps: as many as you can

Rest 60-90 seconds after each set

If I finish faster than normal I'll put the treadmill on a 15 incline on 3 and tell myself to get up the Damn hill for 10 mins. Enjoy at your on risk (-;

Tips To Help You Get Your Sleep Back On Track

2018-02-27T14:44:00.001-08:00

Everyone has something called a circadian clock. It's like your inner alarm clock. It helps you fall asleep each night and wake up the next morning.

Sometimes we can throw our inner alarm clock off and mess up its normal rhythm. For instance if you start working night shifts or you just sleep all day and stay up all night just because you have nothing else better to do. Doing this for a couple days can throw your body off schedule and once you get out of step, it can be harder to fall asleep or wake up at the right times again.

Use these tips to help get your sleep back on track.

1. Stick to a Routine

Try to go to bed at the same time and do the same activities every night before bed. You need to prep your body for bed. It needs cues to let it now that it's time to fall asleep. Don't just wait for it to crash.

To prepare your body for bed, do something to relax like listen to calm music,meditate, or read a book.

2 & 3 Keep Nights Dark and Mornings Bright

Light tells your body's inner clock that it's time to wake up. You can help this process by opening shades in the morning or by turning on bright lights. If you have time take a walk in the sunshine. At night dim the lights in the house and switch cellphones to night mode. Devices give off blue light which makes your brain alert.

4. Get A Work Out In

Exercise not only builds muscle but it also improves sleep. People who exercise at least 150 minutes a week sleep better at night and feel more alert during the day.

*Bonus Content Lack of sleep can also affect the hormones in your body that regulate hunger(ghrelin and leptin) and can stimulate your appetite making you think you're hungry. SO GO TO SLEEP!

If You Don't Want To Snap Your 💩 Sh*t Then Read This

2017-11-07T11:58:00.000-08:00

Here are 5 tips that have kept me injury free while trying to get these GAINS for 10+ years:

1.When you're training alone you don't want to train to failure. You want to get close to failure but leave about 1 or 2 reps in the tank so you don't die lol. If you must train to failure without a spotter, do it while using machines. Most are dummy proof and have built in safety mechanisms.

2. If you've been training for a long period of time be careful with trying to lift the whole gym at every training session. If you want to actually be able to move your body well into your golden years you have to be mindful of your joints and respect your rest days. Don't neglect your recovery time. Getting enough sleep and food is one of the most important tools in maximizing your GAINS bruh 💪🏾

3. Warm up properly before going into your workout. You want to get the blood and oxygen pumping into whatever muscle you're about to train. A warm body is less likely to get injured and you will feel the difference when you start the real work.

4. Stretch after your workout. You'll probably feel a little tight after your workout from all the blood and oxygen that's pumped into your muscles. Studies have shown that stretching before weight training can make you weaker on your lifts. So waiting till your workout is over is a perfect time stretch and lengthen those tight muscles.

5. Don't buy into one form of training or diet. Fitness is not a one size fits all type of thing. What works for Arnold might not work for Dorian (-; Play around with different forms of training and diets until you find one that agrees with your body and lifestyle.

Picky Eaters

2017-07-27T11:59:00.000-07:00

Let’s talk about Picky Eaters. All children at some point demonstrate some level of pickiness. It’s almost like a rite of passage for 2yr olds. Fortunately, picky eating usually doesn’t last that long if handled right away. When my daughter was two she decided one day that she wasn’t going to eat anything green. Now at age 10 her favorite food is scrambled eggs with spinach in it. So there is hope for your little picky eater. Most of the time when kids stop eating certain foods it has nothing to do with the food itself. Knowing the reasons why your child isn’t eating foods they’ve never even tried can help you push through this finicky phase much faster.

As humans, we are designed to prefer sweet foods more. This is why sugar is in almost everything we eat. To our bodies, sweet equals survival—think breast milk or baby formula. Children also have more taste buds than adults (we lose them as we age), so the flavor of food is amplified for little ones.

While your kids may think that eating animal crackers for every meal is a great option, as the adults we know it isn't. If you are tired of jumping through hoops to please your picky eaters at meal times, learn tricks and tips to help put an end to the insanity. It may take 10 or even 15 tries before a child will accept a new food but be patient. Keep presenting new foods. Stack the odds in your favor by preparing foods in ways that may make it easier for your child to eat them. For example roasting vegetables brings out their natural sweetness. Freezing fruits like green grapes brings all the sugar to the surface of fruit and makes them taste like candy. This makes for a perfect summer treat.

Some kids also become picky eaters because they just aren’t hungry as much. After the first year growth levels out a bit and appetite isn’t the driver anymore to eat. I’ve seen kids eat adult size meals one day then the next two days eat like a bird. If you're worried your child isn’t eating enough, don’t. A serving for a young child is a tablespoon per year of age. That’s basically a bite or two of whatever you put on their plate.

Use your kid's appetite to your advantage to introduce a new food. At lunch I start the kids off with “strong foods” or foods I think they won’t eat. You can do the same thing at dinner. Start your child off with a couple of bites of the food they're least likely to eat—usually veggies—and save their favorite stuff for last. If they are hungry when they sit down, they'll happily eat whatever is on their plates, getting in the healthy stuff first.

Young children often touch or smell new foods. Your child might need repeated exposure to a new food before he or she takes the first bite. So be patient and encourage your child by talking about a food's color, shape, smell and texture — not whether it tastes good.

Food Tips:

Any fruit is good for your child and most children love fruit because it’s sweet. Fruit provides essential vitamins, minerals, and it also has fiber, which keeps kids regular.

Cocoa

You are probably thinking of the marshmallow decorated beverage, but cocoa powder actually has one of the highest concentrations of flavonoids, a compound known to improve blood pressure and heart and oral health. They may also protect skin from sun damage. Use at least 70 percent pure cocoa and check that it isn't processed with alkali (also called "Dutch processed"), which removes most of the flavonoids. Ways to serve it (beyond hot cocoa): Sprinkle it on pancakes, waffles or French toast, and melt some dark chocolate and dunk strawberries in it.

Black Beans

"Beans are a great source of protein, as well as fiber and calcium—two things kids tend not to get enough of. They also help guard against heart disease and high cholesterol, which aren't adult only problems anymore . Ways to get them in your kid's diet: Make nachos or quesadillas with black beans, cheese and salsa or try black-bean veggie burgers.

Eggs

Eggs offer protein, and they're one of the few foods that naturally contain vitamin D, which helps the body absorb calcium. Eating protein at breakfast helps kids feel satisfied longer (no mid-morning hunger pangs).

Serve broccoli and other veggies with a favorite dip or sauce.(Kids will eat anything they can dip) Cut foods into various shapes with cookie cutters. Offer breakfast foods for dinner. Serve a variety of brightly colored foods.

Recruit your child's help(Children love to be helpers)

At the grocery store, ask your child to help you select fruits, vegetables and other healthy foods. Don't buy anything that you don't want your child to eat. At home, encourage your child to help you rinse veggies, stir batter or set the table.

Creating healthy eating habits early on will go a long way in helping your children make healthier food choices well into adulthood.