I feel like the anniversary of the date that brought such a monumental change in my life deserves some kind of celebration, but this blog post will have to suffice, because I’m too groggy for anything that resembles some kind of celebration. It was the first day at work after a long weekend and the first day of work in a new week always makes me groggy. Previous job or current job, I’m just not a Monday (first day of a week) kind of girl

Day 07: Isle of Skye
We stayed on Skye for two nights, so we had a full day to tour the island which is a pretty island with lots of great spots to visit, but unfortunately it was foggy for a while, so we had to miss out on some stuff. The Old Man of Store for instance. It’s visible in one of the photos, but just barely.
We still had a great time, because the scenery was just so different from what we see around here in central Europe. Did I mention in one of my previous Scotland posts that one of the most marvellous things about this trip was to see how different the sky and the clouds are in Scotland? And not just different from Germany, but even within Scotland there was such a variety of clouds and sky. Does that make any sense? Maybe not. I guess you had to be there to see it

On Skye we also saw the grave of Flora McDonald, but I included those photos in my first post about all things Scottish Outlander just a few weeks after the trip, so I didn’t include them this time.

I was mildly productive today and also finally found the time to nag Bro3 to get my new bike ready for me to use it *g*, i.e. to mount the cyclocomputer and the water bottle cages on to it. I had actually not planned to go on a ride today, but then I started to feel bad about being so lazy, especially as the weather forecast only had rain and rain and more rain for next week, so I wouldn’t be able to go on a short ride then either.

So in the end, I managed to overcome my laziness (go me!) and went out to a short (7.5 km, 30 minutes) ride in my neck of the woods, so to speak.

  The elevation difference of this tour used to be no big deal a few years ago, when I was in much better shape. But at one point at the top of the steepest “hill” I was so exhausted and not just out of breath, but actually oxygen deprived. Or whatever it is that makes you dizzy and makes your chest hurt.

It was kind of pathetic, really, and a good sign that I really need to get back on my bike regularly. Well not back on the bike in the truest sense of the word, because it’s a new bike and this was the first time I used it And even though I felt pretty bad during the ride, I felt really good afterwards, but that’s the whole point of it all, isn’t it? Besides knowing about the positive effects on my health, it’s the endorphines that make the ordeal of climbing hills and making miles worth it, right? Too bad, that the weather will keep me from doing it again over the next few days.

Main Storyline: The Storm
I really don’t know what to think of that. When I watched it at first, I was almost screaming at my TV for the ludicrous storyline and of all the things that went wrong and how the hospital wasn’t prepared for any of it, or so it seems. It all seemed so far fetched and unrealistic, but I don’t work in an hospital and I never had to live through anything like a tornado, huge storm, blizzard, flooding and the destruction of all kinds of infrastructure (power outage etc.) that come with it. So maybe my view of the whole event is skewed, because I’ve never been through something like this.
But last year I had the chance to get a tour of the internal power supply of a large hospital (it was work related and it’s long story), and I remember the various backup scenarios and mechanisms which are set up to prevent things like they happened at SGH GSMH last night.
Why wasn’t there more technical staff around than just that one old janitor? Where were electrical engineers or whoever is in charge of the power supply on a daily basis? And especially in a situation which needs all hands on board? Why weren’t there enough spare batteries? Whoever is managing the hospital is doing a crappy job at it. Oh wait, our guys themselves are managing the hospital …
And then in the end the one brilliant janitor guy fixed it all by himself and just the one switch had to be switched on again? And where were the precautionary measures against the flood in the basement? This is the power supply system and there is a storm coming, so: electricity + water … and no one cares? Yeah right.

The bus crash was too much as well, but I admit that it added to the whole “who’s going to die” suspense and thus it made it kind of ok. What I’m trying to say is that even though the source for the whole drama and suspense was far fetched. for me it kind of worked to keep me excited for the fate of some of the doctors, which I guess, was kind of the point of it all.

About the characters
A few thoughts about everyone, in some kind of ascending order starting from the ones I don’t like or just don’t care about…

Stephanie and the intern with the last name Murphy:
What exactly is the purpose of these characters to be there? Why should I care about either of them?

Jo:
Another one of these stupid interns. I actually liked her a tiny bin at the start, but her whole backstory felt so contrived. Just not my cup of tea, I guess.

April:
Ugh! Die, April, Die! Seriously, if anyone should have been electrocuted or killed in a exploding bus it should have been her. She is sooo annoying and the whole April/Jackson/paramedic triangle is so boring and predictable and … does anyone actually care about April’s love life? Or about April at all?

Jackson:
Apart from his inevitable entanglement with April, I actually like him and I would have been bummed had he been the one who was killed by the storm. I admit for a moment I was scared about that.

Webber:
I didn’t see that coming in the beginning but once Jackson and the paramedic didn’t die, it was sort of obvious that he would be the one, who’s life would be hanging on a thread (that was what the spoiler said, I think). Not sure if he really is dead, but I honestly don’t care either way. I don’t quite recall when I lost all sympathies for this man, but it happened, so whatever happens to him is fine by me.

Miranda Bailey:
I’m still mourning the original Nazi Bailey and am still pissed about the character assassination which happened to her, starting with the flirty Bailey a few seasons ago, when she was hooking up with the male nurse. Her part of the plane crash storyline didn’t bother me as much as it did a lot of other fans, but the way she dealt with the staph infection, was obnoxious and the way the flipped out to the medicine cabinet was painfully embarrassing IMHO. At least she finally snapped out of it, when it came to one of her “babies”, i.e. Meredith needing her help in the OR.
Can anyone explain to me why she looked so sober and started crying after she had saved Mere’s life? Well, for the sake of drama and suspense, I guess, but her reaction didn’t really make any sense to me.

Callie:
I’ve never been a huge fan of her, but she grew on me, especially in this last season, when she stepped up to be there for her wife. And therefore she she really didn’t deserve this and I felt so sorry for her.

Arizona:
I had actually liked her quite well until this season and I had sympathy and understanding for her after the plane crash, even though she took her wallowing and depression too far IMHO. But this act of adultery and her blaming Callie for the amputation came out of the blue to me and to me that usually a sign of bad writing, at least in regards to Grey’s.
Either way, I don’t really care much about what happens to them, as I didn’t ship them, but at the moment I’m definitely advising Callie to get away from Arizona.

Owen:
I stopped caring about Owen ever since he accused Cristina of killing their baby with the abortion. Jerk! I was so bored by the whole kid Ethan / adoption etc. storyline and I get that it was needed to get to this break up, but still…. boring.
The breakup was still a sad scene, because it’s just sad, when two people who obviously love each other, can’t make it work despite their true feelings. And it’s not anyone’s fault, just, you know…  sad.

Shane and Heather:
Those two are my favourite among the new interns, the other three could transfer to anywhere for all I care. Shane and Heather are both equally dorky characters, but very loveable in their own way. I love the competition between them and Shane’s determination to stitch Meredith up was hilarious.

Alex:
I really, really wish the writers would find him a nice, normal girl for a change. But I want him to be happy and if he thinks that Jo will make him happy, then I guess I will have to learn to live with that. Until he makes her crazy or gives her cancer *g*

Cristina:
It’s not just Meredith and Derek who have come a long way, but Cristina as their friend as well. Minus the calling Meredith their “person” stuff, I enjoyed seeing her as a wonderful friend to both of them. She was supportive, but without being overbearing and she knew when to give the Shepherds their privacy. I’m totally ok with her being that kind of “person” to Meredith (and Derek).
I’m also very, very glad that she didn’t change her mind about being a parent or of doing anything against her nature to make the relationship with Owen work. As sad as it is for both of them, Cristina is a surgeon, first and foremost, that’s the core of her being and I liked that she was allowed to admit to that. Not every woman is cut out to be a mom, not every woman wants to be a mom, and I’m happy to see these woman featured on TV as well. And she had some great lines, as usual. “A moron could do a c-section. No offense.”

Meredith and Derek:
My favourite couple on TV had a baby! A healthy and cute little baby boy. Yay! I never thought I’d live to see the day. And it’s so nice for a change to not have to worry about either of them or their kids (yes, plural, kids!!) over the summer.
Meredith was… well, she was Meredith: dark & twisty and scared and worried but also hardcore when it was important. How she gave Shane instructions how to proceed with the surgery was very cool. I didn’t like the DNR talk, but as I was confident that Shonda wouldn’t be that cruel, it didn’t bother me too much.
Derek holding his baby boy in his arms was soooooo cute. Adorable in the “make my heart explode and my ovaries hurt” kind of way *g*. And all of them together in the end… *deep sigh*
And then there is Baby Boy Shepherd’s name: Bailey. I really like the idea behind it, I honestly do, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to there being two Baileys on the show in the fall. Because Miranda Bailey as coined that name as her name, 90% of the times when she is addressed or talked about people don’t say, “Miranda” or “Dr. Bailey”, they just say “Bailey”. And it’s going to be confusing to have a cute little boy being called that as well. So I hope his parents will come up with a equally nice nickname for this little guy.

Level of exhaustion = 7
I don’t get enough sleep and recently a lot of the sleep I do get is rather restless. Might be related to the first item in this list.

Healthy Eating Habits = 4
Stress and exhaustion make me snack way too much. I haven’t gained weight recently, but my goal should be to loose some and I definitely am not doing that at the moment. There is too much chocolate for that. I also tend to forget to drink enough water throughout the day, which probably also adds to the exhaustion and to…

My Level of clumsiness and forgetfulness = 7
Once again, probably related to lack of sleep and stress at work. I’m too ashamed to admit of how many things I lost or misplaced or just slipped out of my hands or slipped my mind.

State of health = 4
My sort of strained left ankle is still bothering me a bit sometimes, on Saturday my right knee started acting up for no apparent reason and it’s still hurting quite often, even if not as much as it did on Sunday. I’ve also got some dental problems and the one tooth still hurts since this afternoon, when the numbing from this morning’s visit to the dentist wore off.

Fun Activities = 5
Not too much fun stuff going on at the moment, because I a) don’t have the time and b) don’t have the energy, but the things I did (seeing a great movie/TV them concert by a symphony orchestra) or started doing (picked up geocaching after a loooong break) were/are a lot of fun.

Soothing Effect of Outlander audiobooks = 8
What can I say? I love the story and I love the narrator, Davina Porter. Getting into my car and switching on the audiobook really helps to calm me down after work and to forget about the stress of it all.

Anyway, here are the zoo photos (just click to enlarge)

The owners of two of the 15-20 small firms we cooperate with in the field, which we were informing about tonight, let me know in advance that they would attend the meeting as well. I forgot to tell my division manager who gave a short speech at the beginning and moderated the event.
If he had known about their attendance he might have mentioned them and thanked them for coming. I’m not even sure if those two guys actually even came tonight, as they didn’t walk up to me or to the division manager (who I think they must have met before and thus know) to tell us they were there or to introduce themselves. I have no idea if they would have expected to be mentioned/introduced, if they had indeed been in attendance. I have no idea if they are now pissed at me/us that they have been ignored.

So, rational recap: I have no idea if they were there and what they expected and how they reacted to what they did or did not expect. But…. I’m freaking myself out over the mere possibility that they maybe have been offended by not being mentioned. The judgemental, self-depreciating bitch inside my head hasn’t stopped nagging me about it and has painted the negative aftermath (getting angry phonecalls + complaints, being reprimanded etc.) in cinematic scope while I was driving home.

Maybe having written this blog post, will help her to just STFU

Besides all the stuff mentioned above, I’m still trying to recover from a stupid bronchitis, which started as a annoying, but ordinary cold last week. I had a persistent cough last weekend already, but I thought it would go away like most ordinary colds do. But it obviously didn’t. I don’t have the wet cough which I usually experience when I’ve got bronchitis, but on Friday my GP diagnosed bronchitis nonetheless. What was troubling me this time were bronchospasms of some sort, which I hadn’t experienced before. I got some meds for it and last night it felt like it was getting better, but this morning I’m not so sure *sigh* I sometimes sound like I’ve spent decades working in a coal mine, coughing and wheezing. It’s annoying.

° ° ° °

Work was busy all week and some things didn’t work out as planned and of course I immediately started blaming myself for what didn’t work out and was wondering what I did wrong so things didn’t work out. I really wish I would learn to not act that way and to not immediately think I’m at fault. But that’s easier said than done.

° ° ° °

The IHHF World Championship of Hockey started in Helsinki, Finland on Friday. Germany played against host Finland in the evening and I admit I expected my team to get steam-rolled by the Finns. But they stood their ground and even managed to get in the lead, a few minutes before the end, which was a very exhilarating feeling Unfortunately Finland scored again and then won in overtime. But it was still great to see that Team Germany playing well and having the chance to beat Finland. Now they just need to stay out of the penalty box in the next games, because they took too many penalties in this first game. It was nerve wrecking.

° ° ° °

May 1st is a public holiday in Germany (and most of Europe, I guess) which I spend visiting friends, who live a 1-hour-drive away. It’s not that far, but with all of our lives being so busy we usually only see us a few times during the year. But when we do, we usually spend the whole day or at least long nights with each other to make up for it. We spend the afternoon in the zoo and had wonderful time all around, with a yummy breakfast in the late morning and a nice dinner in the evening. The only thing that disturbed parts of that day was my coughing and wheezing

I had planned to end this post with pictures from the zoo, but sorting them and all took longer than planned and thus the photos will follow later today. I’m planning to spend some time in my Mom’s garden before Bro3 and I will watch the second game of Team Germany together this afternoon.

Cologne lost against Berlin in the playoff finals this year, which sucked, because losing the championship to Berlin sucks even more than losing it to any other team. Well, maybe except for the DEG, but they had no shot at the cup this year.
So, yeah, losing the finals sucked, but all things considered, we had a great season. I honestly didn’t expect the season to go so well, because the past few seasons (from 2008 on) were really bad ones in which it wasn’t a lot of fun to be a hockey fan in Cologne. But this year had been a great one. And it had been a special one, as the club celebrated it’s 40th birthday. We saw some great games, the anniversary game was fun and so was the farewell party. Most of the players will stay in Cologne which makes me really hopeful for next season, because it’s great team, with excellent players and an amazing team spirit.

Anyway, I’m digressing. So, I still haven’t figured out what exactly do with this blog these days. Maybe I shouldn’t put any pressure on myself to do anything special with it. It never has been a special interest blog after all, just a place for some random thoughts of mine. Maybe I’m all thought out by now? I hope not. Nowadays there is just little room left besides work for other (interesting) stuff to happen in my life. Or if there is then most of the times I’m too exhausted to write about it afterwards.

I think I’ve mentioned how exhausted I am these days quite enough in these last few posts. It’s strange, because I didn’t feel like this when the huge change (full time job etc.) actually start to take place last fall. Maybe the adrenalin of the new-ness of it all made up for it. In 2013 the demands of the job, which I still like very very much by the way, might be taken their toll. There also was a long, dark, cold winter and not that much sun and light yet.
The huge change might also be the reason why these days I seem to prefer the familiar stuff over the unfamiliar. The known over the unknown. I’ve always been the cautious type who didn’t on a whim enter into the unexplored land of the unfamiliar. Whether that’s in life choices or vacation destinations or food or the question of what TV shows to watch Most of the times I like to know what I’m letting myself get into. I like to know my way around things. I really just like the familiarity of things.
These past few weeks I’ve noticed that especially in regards to entertainment (TV, books, music) I’m even much more into familiar things and have no desire to give new stuff a try than before. I haven’t picked up a new novel in weeks and even the last ones I read were parts of a novel series, which once I started to read of course felt all very familiar. I prefer to listen to the Outlander audiobooks these days, even though I already now the complete saga quite well by now.
Over the last few weeks a lot of new TV shows also have been recommended to me, but I prefer to re-watch the Gilmore Girls instead, because I know them and I know that I like them. I honestly don’t feel the desire to give a new novel or TV show a try. I hope the desire for all the familiar stuff is really just the way my mind comes to terms with the huge changes the job caused in my life. Otherwise I maybe should have my head examined, because I used to like trying out new TV shows

Or maybe I’m just lacking Vitamine D and sunlight and fresh air, because it just hadn’t been really outdoor weather for months now. I try to get out regularily during my lunch break, but that’s probably not enough. I can’t wait for the summer or at least a nice spring to finally arrive here in Germany.
I plan to buy a new good bike this spring, because I really have to get back into the doing more healthy stuff and be more active. And cycling is about the only sport I really enjoy doing, so I want to get back to doing it and to enjoy it. For that I really really need a new and good bike. I have set my eyes on one in our local bike shop and now that I’ve got the money from my tax return back, I can afford to buy it. Or not really afford it, because I could also use that money for other stuff like saving for a real vacation and all. But I think the bike and starting to get more active and healthy should be a priority right now and thus the money will go to the bike. Once I find the time to actually get back to the shop and take the bike for a short test drive. Next weekend, hopefully.