Chris Hambly blogs

The Shocking Truth About the Digital Arts

chrishambly — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 11:23:34 +0000

Did you like that title? Kind of nice eh?

How about this:

"The digital revolution of the last decade has unleashed creativity and talent in an unprecedented way, with unlimited opportunities."
If you do one thing today it should be to watch this documentary.

For me this documentary asks a lot of questions for us, culturally, economically and I think psychologically too. Perhaps it is positioned romantically, perhaps it is positioned factually, perhaps it is biased, you decide, that's the important point.

PressPausePlay from House of Radon on Vimeo.

7 Ways To Write A List

chrishambly — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 23:07:19 +0000

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Oh come one, you have to see the funny side of it.

Keep your sense of humour otherwise you'll drown in the seriousness of life.

What determines influence? Is it a calculated score, fan numbers or something else?

chrishambly — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 22:49:34 +0000

It's a question I want to leave open to the comments - I want to know your personal subjective, or objective if you can prove it, stance on this subject.

So, go for it, what determines influence? Is it a calculated score, fan numbers or something else?

Man Bites Dog

chrishambly — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:25:33 +0000

This headline may have brought you here, but I want it to make you stop and read further for it is as true as the day is day and the night is night.

"Be careful. People like to be told what they already know. Remember that. They get uncomfortable when you tell them new things. New things ... well, new things aren't what they expect. They like to know that, say, a dog will bite a man. That is what dogs do. They don't want to know that man bites a dog, because the world is not supposed to happen like that. In short, what people think they want is news, but what they really crave is olds ... Not news but olds, telling people that what they think they already know is true." - Terry Pratchett Through The Character. Lord Vetinari from his The Truth: A Novel of Discworld.

What does this mean, are we all really so pre-programmed, YES we are. This is a further thought to a post a made some time ago called Ideaological Amplification. It's part of a line of thought known as Confirmation Bias, or rather how we as humans construct evidence, regardless of fact or fiction to reinforce our ideas.

A little food for thought for you.

Want a holiday in Cornwall?

chrishambly — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 20:22:22 +0000

Of course you fancy a FREE holiday, or maybe a friend of yours does?

Either way some friends of mine have a really neat competition running where you suggest a dish to cook for their Cornish MasterChef Cookoff!

The winner gets to stay in a converted Coach-House near St Ives. Found at the end of a private drive in the centre of an Elizabethan estate, Lanyon Holiday Cottages offer a real taste of traditional luxury with a modern twist.

Piece of cake (excuse the pun) to enter, pop along and have a butchers.

Weekend Breaks Cornwall

Where did "Piss Poor" come from?

chrishambly — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 16:49:11 +0000

I thought you might enjoy this, it's copied and pasted from an email my Father sent.

Where did "Piss Poor" come from?

Interesting History.

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery... if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot... they "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low. The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500s

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies.

By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof.

When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing.

As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.

Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme:

“Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old”.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status.Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust. Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom; “of holding a wake”.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be,“saved by the bell” or was “considered a dead ringer”.

And that's the truth. Now, whoever said History was boring!!!
So get out there and educate someone! ~~~
Share these facts with a friend.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
'What the heck happened?'

We'll be friends until we are old and senile.
Then we'll be new friends.
“Smile”, it gives your face something to do!

Can Virtual Assistants Make Sausage Rolls

chrishambly — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 11:05:11 +0000

So I've been asking twitter about virtual assistants, the type of people who work remotely on very specific tasks that take away the pain. Perhaps I jest when I say pain, though I'm not sure I do really. When you're juggling multiple projects it really does make sense to call on additional help in order to free up precious time. I have used VAs on a variety of projects and when you think about it it makes a great deal of sense. It makes sense for a number of reasons the main ones really are that you get some specialism along with a guaranteed output specific to your brief at your deadline.

I really do believe that as a business grows it is fundamentally important that you can begin to delegate the technical aspects of particular roles and this is where I find the VAs very useful. So I'm not talking about a virtual assistant that processes all of my communications, emails and handles telephone calls.

No, what I'm talking about is outsourcing very specific tasks. Tasks that can be done remotely by somebody other than myself, and most importantly, at a lower cost than my own consultancy time.

Let's say that my business is making sausage rolls, of course it isn't, but let's use that as an example. For me to run a successful sausage roll making business I need to start by making delicious sausage rolls. I also need to make sure I can market my sausage rolls, have quality assurance in place, actually sell them to people and somehow package them. I'd also need to be able to do the accounts and ensure that my premises is clean and tidy and serviceable. So once I know how to do all of the specific tasks I can find an employee for each specific task. A maker, a seller, a cleaner, an accountant etc. The point is that once I know what the actual task is I can simply find somebody suitable for that very specific task.

Of course in a bricks and mortar business like sausage roll making this is called employing people. In the virtual world, which is where my business operates, I can utilise virtual assistants, or if you like, outsourced employees.

I mean this isn't rocket science, I've been using outsourced experts for many years and my choice usually comes down to a few key things.

1. Cost (Mumbai is cheaper than London, Boston may also be)
2. Efficiency (if I'm paying for 1 hour of work I expect quite a lot of return for that)
3. Ability to understand my brief without unnecessary thinking on their part (this is what I need please do it in the time I set you) - take a taxi driver, I want to go from A to B - don't take me to C.
4. Have superior skills to my own -more efficient than me at this task and in many cases have skills I do not process.

These are my four key elements and when VAs have those items covered they usually get my repeat business.

What about you, do you use VAs? Maybe you are one?

Either way post a comment, or share the post.

Studio Recording Engineer Forum Reopens

chrishambly — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 09:22:23 +0000

Great news for all my audio related friends! I've reopened my studio recording engineer forum with a brand spanking new version of Vbulletin. The forum itself has been around since about 2003 in one form or another, in fact there are thousands of old posts which have now been archived.

The old recording engineer forum was running on phpbb, but in recent months this became a real spam magnet, so something had to give.

I'm absolutely delighted we can now carry on with his beautiful interface and encourage new members and old alike to partake in this great community.

All you have to do to register is pop along to studio recording engineer dot com, create an account, and then just wait a wee while for your account to be moderated.

Why does your account need to be moderated? Well simply put, in order for the spam monkies to be disheartened and to not bother due to inefficiency, we need to make it very difficult for them to spam. Therefore moderating all new accounts ensures that the idiots are left out of the party.

Now can I ask you a favour? Could you share this post with any of your friends that might be interested in music production, studios, making music, recording music, music technology, producers or audio engineering? I'd really appreciate it.

Well, I hope to see you in the forums, all the best for now.

Criminal Penguins

chrishambly — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 13:59:35 +0000

So I found this on view tube.

It's absolutely amazing and made me chuckle so much that I wanted to share it with you to make you chuckle too.

It's quite a bizarre title "criminal penguins" but when you have a closer look at the video you'll see just how naughty one of these penguins is, he really is a criminal penguin.

I suppose we could draw lots of parallels with people maybe. Perhaps you do lots of hard work sometimes and maybe sometimes your stuff gets stolen. Or maybe even you're the naughty penguin. Perhaps you're the criminal, perhaps you're the one that takes the stones from other people. If you are you should be very very ashamed of yourself, stealing other people's hard work is very much a criminal activity.

Anyway, I found it hilarious though I really do feel very sorry for the poor penguin who is working so hard to build his nest.

Server Hosting

chrishambly — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 22:11:46 +0000

It struck me today that you might not be aware that my business has its own fast internet server.

I've had a dedicated internet server since about 2000 and in fact with the same company too and over the years literally hundreds of sites have had the benefit of it.

Currently we host a whole variety of client sites some large some small, some niche sites, some full blown community portals and even schools!

But why am I writing a blog post about this? - well it's just that it crossed my mind that you might know a friend, or even need a hosting solution yourself for your website.

The hosting is not cheap, nor expensive, we range from 25 pounds a month to well over 500, depending on the service and bandwidth but one thing is constant - 100% up-time, super-fast speed and very little restrictions.

So I just wanted to put it out there that if you need your website hosted or know a friend, just ask.

More soon.

The emperor has lost his clothes

chrishambly — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 21:13:52 +0000

I've taken a particular interest in the current media scandal taking place in UK, not so much for the hideous activity of phone hacking (which is heinous) but rather in the fall-out that is now taking place.

Regardless of your preferred news outlet, the rabbit's hat goes deep on this one. It reminds me of a conversation I had a few years ago with a Zimbabweian friend of mine.

Jo was particularly fascinated with how England was not overtly corrupt, and was trying to figure out how the social circles operate (that's not a Google+ reference). She felt there was a level of snobbery and closed ranking regarding the flow of information - she was right! I've heard the same thing from other foreign nationals looking to understand British culture.

I had explained the "old boy" network and that in high society it's all about following the money that flows initiated through back room deals. It's not even hidden really, it's more a case of "the social silence" as Gillian Tett states.

Of course the average Mr Smith living in blissful ignorance soaking up the red top daily tabloids is typically unaware of how the upper echelons operate in schmoozing for a piece of the various big deals. There has also been a lack of awareness with the extent of how our political system has been affected.

It is indeed the case that even our political system has been entrenched, and at the perils of the press editors, the media moguls for years.

So I'm following this with great interest, it really is one of those major moments in British history.

Steve's Templates

chrishambly — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 14:26:16 +0000

This post is nothing more than a boomark for me really, though you might find it handy if you ever need some smart themes for Drupal.

I'm building out a new Drupal project and I'm in the processing of presenting a few theme ideas to the client.

It's a handy process as you can quickly and easily display radically different designs to test the waters and see what the client likes.

I may never use these themes, but they are a great way of presenting different feels and design concepts.

Anyway you can find these at Steve's Templates.

Here's a MashUpBreakDown for you

chrishambly — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 22:13:27 +0000

It's last year's work but still rocks my cotton socks off.

MashUpBreakDown

As well as amazingly functional and pretty it's also pretty savvy on the technology department.

Smartness.

Farmer's Tan and Boats

chrishambly — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 20:12:55 +0000

Did I tell you that I have been enjoying a period of "in between work"? - well that's not exactly true. I am still working, but I've been helping a friend out with people that want to "hire a boat in Falmouth".

It's a nice new learning curve in many ways but in other ways it is going complete full circle. One of my first jobs, when still at school, was helping out on the self drive boat hire business in Falmouth. I couldn't wait to finish school and get down on the quay, and of course all weekend and every day during the summer holidays. I was about 11 or so when I started that job and it stood me excellent stead for a life of working and business.

The work was all about turning up at about 08:30, getting the boats off the moorings, cleaning them, and then touting for business with the tourists, it's the same business model now, nothing has changed. Although they do have a Facebook Page now ;)

So as I've been doing this for a several weeks (when not working and growing my Social Media Business). I've obviously been getting shed loads of sunshine. Yep, of course I'm helping them grow the boat business too. :)

It's been good for me, I feel fitter, I feel stronger, I feel more virile, I feel great. BUT - I have a farmer's tan..... maybe I should share some pics?

You know?

Social Media Mafia Radio

chrishambly — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 19:37:20 +0000

Today I popped into SecondLife which is the first time I've done such a things for literally years.

I'm not sure why I had the compulsion to log-in again but I did, but more importantly, I'm am glad I did.

SecondLife was a very busy place for me several years ago culminating in the work I did for Coca Cola on the Virtual Thirst project, it was always going to be hard to top that in there to be honest, so I guess I got kind of bored and moved on.

I'm digressing though, and I just wanted to mention that I was glad I popped in as it gave me a moment of reflection looking at the old friends list. In fact I sent out a message to that list and it was a great feeling to get lots of people instantly getting in touch with me again, brilliant, really brilliant!

This experience today helped me finalise another idea I have been having recently which is to start another Internet Radio Show, available as a podcast, or just an on-line player. I used to do one regularly when I owned an Internet School some years back which was always a popular show so I've the chops to pull it off I believe.

I've had numerous people tell me they'd like me to continue with a show so I've made up my mind to start planning another one, and I'm getting quiet excited about it.

It can be a really great feeling running an on-line radio show, it's very satisfying and really does help me channel some of my creative juices.

The new show will be hosted as part of the Social Media Mafia, which really does seem to be the place for it, it's gagging for it really, so much fun can be had with the brand.

I'm expecting to have lots of music YES LOTS and also industry interviews and news from around the Internet.

Really excited about it all.

What would you like to hear on such a show? I'd really like to know.

Taking Pictures for Facebook

chrishambly — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 17:16:15 +0000

I was researching a little today about the laws and what not regarding a client taking photographs and using them on their Facebook page. ElementalUk is a Water Sports Adventure Centre in Cornwall and they've a nice shiny new facebook page.

So I was curious what the law had to say regarding these guys taking pics of everyone enjoying themselves on the beach and then uploading to facebook. I mean they want to show the World how cool a place it is right?

After some deliberation and much chat it was Rachel Clarke on Twitter, who was really helpful in helping me understand the laws and guidelines for taking pictures and using them on a facebook page.

So thanks Rachel.

After studying a few resources such as the one here, it seems that as the beach is a public place it is legal to be able to take photographs providing they are not for commercial use - which in this case they are not as they will not be "DIRECTLY" making money from the photographs.

A nice Friday win for the guys.

Do Not Put Anything In The Toilet

chrishambly — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 22:07:41 +0000

This struck me as so amusing, it really did.

I guess communication is all about getting the message across, the desired message, and I'm really not sure it worked in this case.

I mean not anything? Really?

You think?

I've Been Around The World

chrishambly — Tue, 31 May 2011 19:29:27 +0000

It's a rather amusing title but nonetheless true in many ways. Well not quite literally true in this case but almost.

No, I wanted to tell you that I've been around The World, the ship, the huge mighty vessel that sells apartments for 1 million a go! Yes, it's true these pictures are of The World, the home from home, berthed in Falmouth, as it seems to from time to time.

Being a water/boat/nut (and also helping out a mate and his boat hire business) I nipped out and took a couple shots.

If you had a spare million bucks would you buy an apartment on a ship that has no "home"?

Quite an impressive thing isn't it?

What Colour Are Your Eyes?

chrishambly — Thu, 26 May 2011 21:20:58 +0000

I know this is a bit daft, but then what content isn't? I could be guilty of filling the Internet up with nonsense but I think there is enough space to go around. :)

I took this picture last year not long after eye surgery, and well, I'm only putting it here today as a conversation starter ... quite what that conversation is I'm not sure, maybe you have some ideas?

What colour are your eyes, got any good shots of your own?

Old London New London

chrishambly — Thu, 26 May 2011 21:03:07 +0000

I took this picture as I was walking back to Liverpool Street Station from the Brick Lane area. What struck me was the contrast between the old and new. It's very apparent a lot of work is being carried out around this area and in many ways it is a real shame some of the old buildings (OK, they ARE knackered) are getting pulled down.

That tall tower looks really thin doesn't it? It isn't of course, but I like how it looks thin in this image.

Ribs Break

chrishambly — Wed, 25 May 2011 21:34:39 +0000

It's one of those moments we all have when we realise that, actually, we are mere mortals.. hmm no, that sounds terrible I'm always aware of that. What I mean is I have broken one of my ribs and it hurts like buggery.

How did I break it and why am I telling you?

The first bit of that is easy, I fell while on a boat, the decks were slippery after me having cleaned them and, well, I bloody slipped. I've been helping a friend out with his business Falmouth Boat Hire, which is a long story in itself (I'll tell you about another time), but yes I fell over about 5 feet and my ribs (the ones towards the back) took the impact, and DOINK one broke... ouch...

These things do fix in motion apparently. It reminds me of when I broke a collar bone playing rugby.It was equally as painful and the world becomes equally as slow. To be honest I suppose part of me enjoys that slowness, the forced paced that simply take control. It's impossible to move quickly due to the pain, but with slow movement it's manageable.

I'm sure I was going to be much more philosophical about my break but it seems not. I am glad however I have rediscovered my blog and that you are reading it, we used to have a lot of fun around here. So maybe that's it, maybe the point of me sharing this is just that it's an opportune moment to re-ignite my blog, so we get to know each other again.

Could be eh?

15 Guitarists

chrishambly — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 14:21:23 +0000

I got tagged today on Facebook

The rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen guitarists that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what guitarists my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page, paste rules in a new note, cast your fifteen picks, and tag people in the note -- in the 'tag' line.)

So, here are my 15.

Dave Gilmore
Peter Green
Steve Vai
Cornell Dupree
Randy Rhoads
Chris Rea
Mark Knopfler
John Frusciante
Grant Geissman
Julian Bream
The Edge
Robert Johnson
Jimmy Hendrix
Nile Rodgers
Billy Duffy

Games for Learning

chrishambly — Tue, 11 May 2010 11:08:54 +0000

More than cool!

An excellent video about using games for learning, indeed the author of this video really spells it out in a very obvious way.

Do you have a successful social life (online) ?

chrishambly — Tue, 11 May 2010 09:18:16 +0000

Well for me I can say that I created a start-up, grew it, sold it, entirely using "social" media.

I use the term social here loosely, as I consider the use of it in recent years as somewhat late and misrepresentative of prior art. The Internet has always been social by default, we've always had emails and forums which are by nature all about being social around arguments and debates. - not to mention chat rooms and bulletin boards.

My start-up was a distance learning school, completely online. We used zero off-line advertising, zero paperwork, zero central offices, zero anything relating to off the Internet, in fact we didn't even use the telephone, and banking was all electronic.

So for me I can state a resounding yes to your title. - but I would refrain from including the last couple of months/years buzz about social networks (facebook + twitter et all) as being the dogs bollocks of social media, nothing new here really, they all stand on the shoulders of giants.

Drug Names

chrishambly — Mon, 03 May 2010 10:00:05 +0000

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic
name. Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it's generic name is
Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called
Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced
that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and
of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call
this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of
'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means
that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky
boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do
with them.

If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be
five fewer people laughing in the world.

Google Keywords

chrishambly — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 00:26:10 +0000

I wanted to post this here otherwise I'd forget probably.

It is a list of the "apparent" highest paying keywords in Google.

Highest Paying Search Terms

Fwd: Order Request

chrishambly — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:00:07 +0000

This is an email I received today, I mean WTF?!!

HELLO,

I AM PAUL KNAPP AND I WILL LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU CARRY DUST PAN FOR SALE.AND IF YES,REPLY ME BACK WITH YOUR WEBSITE SO THAT I CAN SELECT THE ONE THAT I WILL LIKE TO ORDER,ALSO I AM SHIPPING THE DUST PAN TO ONE OF MY COMPANY IN SWEDEN AND I WILL RECOMMEND A FREIGHT COMPANY FOR THE PICKED UP..THANK YOU AND HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON..

XXXX sent you a message on Facebook...

chrishambly — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 14:44:41 +0000

This is a message I received through Facebook, I'm not entirely sure why I am posting it on my blog, but I feel a need to for some reason. The names have been removed to protect the innocent, or the guilty, depends how you look at that I suppose. I'm not judging here, I'm just posting it, as I don't want to keep it inside me. I've not contacted XXXX either. And for the record I do not make a point of posting Facebook messages, just in case you were worried.

--------------------

(no subject)

Hello,

I’m sending you this letter because you are one of the 300 Facebook friends of XXXX. I’m trying to contact XXXX for 18 months now, I even went to England to try to locate her, in vain. As a last resort, I’m writing to you, as to her other friends. Maybe it’s best to tell you who I am, before you think I’m a nut.

Well, XXXX migrated to Israel in 1997. Before that she was in Brussels, and I was her boyfriend. When XXXX decided to leave Belgium to Jerusalem, I tried to convince her to stay, but it didn’t succeed, and after she departed, I took my backpack and went to Israel myself, to try to convince her to come back. I arrived in the barracks for immigrants of Jerusalem, and got reminded coldly of what I was. I keep from this experience the feeling of having been a Jew in Nazi Germany. I don’t know what experience you have of religious and political conversions. What started XXXX’s to die-hard Zionism was partly that she was in love with me. I’m not Jewish, and it was a problem. XXXX never managed to see that she was conflicted about being in love with a gentile. She started to see anti-Semitism everywhere, especially in me, and decided to go to Israel to be safe from anti-Semites. In September 1997, Jerusalem was a war zone, with bombs exploding everywhere. It made no sense to go there to be safe, except if the problem was not anti-Semitism, but assimilation. And her parents preferred to see her there, in harm’s way, than with me. You know, besides being a goy, as XXXX would say, everything was fine with me. We had spent two years together. I remember that some night we made love for the first time, and the next week she decided that she would do her Aliya eight months later. I hope you understand. XXXX loved me. Maybe, if we hadn’t met, she would still be in Brussels by now. I didn’t understand all that at the time, I was too young, but now I can see it.

Afterwards, I made a huge depression, and then went to Paris, and later on to New York, partly to forget XXXX. It didn’t work, she would always be a some place in my mind. I always hoped that I would see her again. And six years later I met her again, in Brussels, and we spent two weeks together. I got the two faces of XXXX again. The first week I heard her telling me how she had loved me, and still loved me, how she regretted to have met me when she was too young, how we would have married if we had met later, how she had missed me. For me it was springtime after a long winter, I hold her hands, and hoped again. But the next week she told me that the others were right, that we were racially incompatible, that I was an Aryan, and that she was a Jew, that she was spiritually nomadic, that I was spiritually sedentary, that love was an illusion anyway, chemical compounds in the brain, that love was not to be based on complicity, or attraction, but on shared values. In one word, I was still not Jewish. I was an evil temptation put on her path, to stop her to accomplish her higher calling to marry a Jew. She would never accept to see me again, because I would jeopardize her decisions. And then she disappeared again. And once again I went back to my life without her.

And years passed, until the day I found her on the Internet. XXXX was on Facebook, and she was married. I quit my job for a while and got into a new depression, and after one year I decided to contact her. That was eighteen months ago. I started to write, and since I got no answer, I found one of her old friends who convinced her to write back to me. I got five lines, telling that she didn’t remember me, nor anything from that period. I was not satisfied, so I kept writing, and eventually went to Cambridge to see her. I wrote to her, fixed a rendezvous, and waited on a terrass on Magdalene Street on a Saturday afternoon. She didn’t come, so I travelled back home, and saw that she had put a filter on her profile. You know, that’s one thing to not answer mails, that’s another thing to let a guy travel 900 kilometres back and forth because it’s too hard to answer. So I paid a visit to her father, who’s in Brussels, to get an explanation. He told me: “Well, XXXX, I find this situation normal. She loved you but nothing was possible, since you’re not a Jew, so she disappeared! What else could she have done? It’s better to not think about the past. She has been miserable in Jerusalem the first years, but now she has found someone I like. Stop thinking about all this.” I was so disgusted that I started to cross the red lines. I wrote to XXXX’s husband, to tell him that I was writing to his wife, because I wanted to know if she loved him, and why she didn’t want to answer my letters. He answered that I would never get any answer to my questions.

It’s sad, isn’t it? I’m a romantic kind of guy, I still believe in sister souls. XXXX was mine, but decided to leave because of her parents and peer-pressure. That’s how I remember it. Since I’m a boy, I’m told stories about standing my ground in front of authority, to know what I want and go for it. I don’t say that it’s easy, or that I always do it, but it the true meaning of life, so I didn’t understand the decisions XXXX made. I’ve spent years thinking about it. I studied Judaism, Zionism, the History of Israel, theology, religious psychology, propaganda, brainwashing, cult dynamics, because of the powerlessness I felt when I saw XXXX leaving, enthusiastic and unhappy at the same time, saying weird things about the Chosen People and the Promised Land, the Holocaust, and how the Nazis would win if we stayed together, as if I could undo what had been done. Even today, sometimes I wake up and I’m surprised, because XXXX is gone, and I don’t really understand why. We could have been so happy, we would have studied together, we would be married, her parents would have got used to it. Instead, twelve years later, I’m still writing to her, I take the train to try to find her, and she doesn’t answer.

You know, later, I met another woman, someone extraordinary, but somewhere in my mind, there was something not solved, something from my past, that stopped me from being happy with her. So I made her life miserable, because she loved me and didn’t understand why we could not be happy together. I lost her. See, twelve years, all that love, all that life force, all that energy, wasted, because of something that happened when we were eighteen. I’ve wasted enough time. I want this to stop. I want closure. Maybe I’m crazy to have loved XXXX so much, but who’s crazy? Me who doesn’t give up, or XXXX who ran away and keeps silent? I don’t know. Have you ever watched the Good Shepard, with Matt Damon? I’m the deaf girl.

I want to talk to XXXX. A letter will not do it after all that time. Tell her that you’ve received this mail. If you’re close to her, please tell her to call me. She has my phone number.

Kind regards.

XXXX

P.S. By the way, nice blog!

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Awesome Anti Apartheid Song

chrishambly — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 16:07:39 +0000

One of the greatest anti apartheid songs of all time surely has to be Labi Siffre - Something Inside So Strong. I heard it on the BBC again today and then went on and found this live version on YouTube.

This song rings so true still in many areas of the world today. The big take-away is you can never ever crush the human spirit.

The higher you build your barriers

The taller I become

The farther you take my rights away

The faster I will run

You can deny me

You can decide to turn your face away

No matter, cos there's....

Something inside so strong

I know that I can make it

Tho' you're doing me wrong, so wrong

You thought that my pride was gone

Oh no, something inside so strong

Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong

The more you refuse to hear my voice

The louder I will sing

You hide behind walls of Jericho

Your lies will come tumbling

Deny my place in time

You squander wealth that's mine

My light will shine so brightly

It will blind you

Cos there's......

Brothers and sisters

When they insist we're just not good enough

When we know better

Just look 'em in the eyes and say

I'm gonna do it anyway

I'm gonna do it anyway

Something inside so strong

And I know that I can make it

Tho' you're doing me wrong, so wrong

You thought that my pride was gone

Oh no, something inside so strong

Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong

Brothers and sisters

When they insist we're just good not enough

When we know better

Just look 'em in the eyes and say

I'm gonna do it anyway

I'm gonna do it anyway

I'm gonna do it anyway

I'm gonna do it anyway

Because there's something inside so strong

And I know that I can make it

Tho' you're doing me, so wrong

You thought that my pride was gone

Oh no, something inside so strong

Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong

What anti apartheid songs do you love, please do list them below.

Exponential Function

chrishambly — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 10:35:21 +0000

Been enjoying this lecture concerning exponential function over morning tea.