THE EMOTIONS WE ARE AFRAID WILL PUSH OTHERS AWAY WILL ACTUALLY BOND US TO OTHERS.

We wonder: “Does anybody think like me?”

The thoughts we are most afraid to share are the thoughts that make us feel connected to others when they validate our experience.

This is resonance. Yet, we are shocked they feel like us.

I am afraid that _________________ (fill in the blank)… you will replace me, you will leave me, you will think I’m not worthy, you will hurt me…

Share. Watch the conflict dissipate.

You can recognize your ultimate need and go to Christ for it.

1. It protects you from dangerous things growing and building within you. (Bitter roots…)

2. It opens you up to enjoy the journey. (They may be steps to a destination but the steps can be enjoyed.)

3. YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AS GOD LOVES YOU WHICH WILL UNBLOCK YOUR LOVE OF OTHERS. (Self-hate isn’t good news.)

You couldn’t feel the full weight of the pain.

Especially for the pain you experienced as a child.

And now it’s time to welcome those parts of you back to reality.

Invite Christ into the pain. the parts of you that are numb. the fear. the parts that feel dead. the anger.

Process the pain with Christ. Dump it on Him. Invite Him into your Gethsemane moment. He had His and knows what you feel like.

You have to protest before you praise.

You are not what you do. You are not who the enemy says you are. You are who the Father says you are.

Emotional awareness makes you alert to the work of God in your life. Your emotions aren’t God. But they make you aware of a potential connection to Him.

We are not dominated by our emotions. (Culture)

We are not in denial of our emotions. (Unhealthy Christianity.)

We are aware and learning. Emotions are part of our humanity and image of God.

May our mouths shut at the lie that emotions are terrible leaders but great followers. You can’t control all your emotions. But you can be aware.

“I learned to my astonishment that God, whose ‘impassibility’ I thought meant that he was incapable of emotion, speaks (though in human terms) of his burning anger and vulnerable love. I discovered too that Jesus of Nazareth, the perfect human being, was no tight-lipped, unemotional ascetic. On the contrary, I read that he turned on hypocrites with anger, looked on a rich young ruler and loved him, could both rejoice in spirit and sweat drops of blood in spiritual agony, was constantly moved with compassion, and even burst into tears twice in public. From all this evidence it is plain that our emotions are not to be suppressed, since they have an essential place in our humanness and therefore in our Christian discipleship.” JOHN STOTT

The “like” they got on facebook makes them feel connected and worthy.

Their child’s request makes them feel tired.

When you learn to experience Christ giving you what you need at the core of who you are then you can put the phone down.

Ask Jesus to help you feel worth in Him. Ask Him to help you feel connected to Him.

You can use your phone like crazy when you need to. And you can look your kids or spouse in the eye. And really be there.

I can promise big. And this event will still over-deliver.

• You will leave with a paradigm for your marriage that will facilitate a shift in how you see God and your spouse.
• You will learn why you have the same fights over and over.
• You will experience sessions that will be informal but deeply challenging, thought-provoking, and experiential.
• You will be able to quickly identify the key areas that are blocking your marriage from the intimacy you were designed to experience.
• You will relate out of overflow instead of fear.
• You will be able to love each other effectively for a lifetime.

It went live on Wednesday night. Almost half the tickets are gone.

Join me in an identity revolution for your marriage.

Click here for details.

The disciples were jacked about the mission. Jesus spoke a word of correction. He wanted to make sure they didn’t build their identity around mission. Instead their identity was built around their position in Christ.

I enjoy the mission. I am passionate about my work.

But the source of my joy is my identity. Who I am in Christ is the foundation of my life not what I do for Christ.

Has anyone ever taught you how to continually experience a secure identity in Christ? That’s my mission. Maybe one day I’ll see you at a Sightshift event.

1. One of you walks in the door.

But what you don’t realize is you’re feeling insecure. You feel guilty about something at home. Your boss made you feel something. At the core of who you are in your identity you are hurting and searching.

2. Your spouse mentions something harmless.

He could mention something about his trip to the grocery store. She could say something that needed to be done with the kids or around the house. A harmless comment is made. But…

3. You interpret the comment in light of your insecurity.

They are sharing information. You hear the confirmation of you greatest fear without them saying anything negative: “You suck. Can’t you do anything right?” OR “You will betray me. I know you will leave me.” And on and on I could go. They aren’t saying this but you hear it because of your hurts, pains, and fears.

4. Now the fight is on. And it’s because of something in your heart not something they said.

What causes conflict? Selfishness. You want your spouse to meet a need you feel insecure about. All of this happens underneath the surface.

Run to Christ. Ask Him to help you know what you really want. Receive. Fight less.

Want resiliency? Learn to separate who you are from what you do. You will be unstoppable.