Have you ever wondered where you were? Like, you wake up in a dark room and wonder for a split second what happened? Where am I? Being disoriented and in a general state of wonderment can be unsettling. Thought provoking.

When I think back on who I used to be, the person that would one day become me, I can’t help but wonder: would I have liked me? Would I have sneered, or wanted to smack, or teach, or befriend? Would I have taught myself that using periods in sentences to convey a moment of thoughtful silence… is uncalled for?

I used to be a wonder. Sex, drugs, rock and roll. I marvel that I lived through it. I’m a different person now… mostly. When I think about these things, I’m like a person waking up from a deep sleep; wondering, but familiar all at once. I am who I am because I experienced the things I did. If not for my failings, blunders, and mistakes as a man and musician, and for the God that teaches, I would not be the man I am now. 

2 Corinthians 6:18 – And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.

When we as just regular old humans being (I know) rely solely on our understanding, we get things turned around. If you find yourself there, take a moment to reflect on what God thinks of you and your situations. We are more than we think, simply because we belong to a Father that thinks of us as more than what we are. What the Bible says about you and me would shock most people, because we don’t understand. We don’t take the time to evaluate our worth. God don’t make junk. He makes sons and daughters of the most high King. We should begin the walk that takes us down the path to the clearing at the end… the understanding that’s at the end of our journey. 

Walk with me. Let’s discover together. 

How did I get here? How many twists and turns does it take to get to where we are? How many ways are there to get where we are going? Speaking in terms of the Earthly, and not Spiritual, you are the author of your destination. Don’t like the road you’re on? Should’ve turned right a few turns ago. Don’t like the company you find yourself in? Should’ve taken the exit before the one you took. Don’t like the shape you’re in? Should’ve put that habit down a year ago.

Here’s the thing: we all know where we are, what we are doing. We can kid ourselves, but you know that if you don’t want to die from food poisoning, you shouldn’t eat 3 week old Thanksgiving leftovers.

Navigation, both Earthly and Spiritual, is something we all can do. We just get distracted. Tempted. Burdened. The cost of excess or enjoyment is often not accounted for in the mental reckoning of the tab that will need to be paid. The pain of the present is too often a driving force in the escape from the percieved benefit of staying in the here and now. The temptation of the new is too often a slippery slope that damages the old and can’t be recovered from.

In all things, consider the ways to get from where you are. Water always takes the easiest route. The easiest route isn’t always the best for us, and you aren’t water.

In Psalm 86 you can find this: Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.

Wow. How many different ways to count right there.

Yesterday I took some time off to watch (with the littles) the solar eclipse. The voices in my head spoke of how great it would be to view and experience this astronomical event that only occurs (where I am) once in a lifetime. Some people have seen a complete eclipse several times, they must be like cats: many lives. It was very cool to see my youngest kid’s faces during totality. My older kids are grown and enjoying the adulting thing. The voices were right.

As we watched the shadows grow sharper (it was weird), I remember the voices in my heart telling me to never forget. These moments are created for the remembering. Watching as the kids looked through the glasses with a “ho-hum” kind of attitude, I thought maybe they didn’t really grasp the significance and understand; this was something they would remember forever! As totality majestically slipped into being, their faces completely changed, along with their attitudes. They were in awe. Me too. Or maybe awestruck doesn’t quite cover it. Anyway, the voices were right.

As the shadow shifted and began to make way for the bright South Carolina day, the voices in my hands began to remind me that there was work yet to be done. I had to kiss everyone (even my son, right on the cheek, it embarrassed the mess out of him) and go back to doing the thing that my head and my heart knew was waiting until after the eclipse. From beginning to end, my eclipse vaca, although short, was very productive. Very awe inspiring. Very reminding. Memories were made that will stand longer than 10 lifetimes, majesty moved ever closer toward the center of my heart and soul, and the remembrance that all I do in the form of “work” is not so much for me, as it is for the lost and lonely soul wondering if the eclipse was a coincidence of time and space, or a true revelation of God’s majesty. We are here but for a breath, and our work is done. Make the most of it. It matters. And just in case you were wondering, the voices were right.

I have wondered about the mindset of the average person that saw Christ teach. So many wandering thoughts must have gone through the mind of a casual disciple; follow or run? Listen or disregard? Crazy or sane? Truth? Lies? Following the dusty paths created by this new rebel against established authority, wondering if this is the promised king, must have been in some people a form of dabbling in insanity. To watch a man teach with such authority and passion that you find yourself drawn in, even against your will, must have been alarming. To learn that the people with the power held none except that which they had stolen. So many more doubts and questions. To turn the rules established by men upside down and declare that a new time was coming… a time where men wouldn’t need to do anything but accept, believe, repent. No more sacrifices?? What about the blood? From before I could walk all I have known was that blood atones?

And then came miracles. How to even wrap your mind around it? Who had ever seen a cripple walk because of a word of compassion spoken? How could a blind person see, and when questioned say somethong ridiculous like “I only know that now I see”? Who could believe the crazy concept that the same could be done for our souls? Who could begin to comprehend that ordinary people could begin to speak things into existence? Blasphemy, surely! Dead men don’t walk and liars don’t get redeemed. In all honesty, the questions posed here belong as much to our day as to they did 2000 years ago. The answers found in those questions belong to each of us as much as the riddled of Christ’s day.

It all comes down to faith. Yes, or no, have it, or don’t. Believe God, or not.

Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

When you look at God, what do you see? A journey? An illusion? A riddle or an answer?

My hope is that you will be strong enough to ask the questions, and then use the answers found. For you, not for me. Let your answers matter to you, because at the end of all things, the answers matter for you, and you alone. Your answers are found in the dust at your feet, and the path that you find yourself wandering on.

If Jesus calls us to do greater works than He did (I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father) how are we supposed to wrap our heads and hearts around the hard questions that lead us to spiritual tension within ourselves?

For us to be greater leaders, we must ask, how to be greater servants? For us to be greater servants we must be more compassionate.

How can I be more compassionate? We must need more intently.

Why would I want to need more intently? To share in the suffering that requires surrender… second by second, and that is done by realizing the world does not revolve around us; it isn’t me at the center of it all.

As with many things spiritual, the word of God travels upstream, against the flow of the world’s wisdom. A King came to wash feet, so that we could understand what servanthood is. A warrior came to be crucified, so we would not have to pay a price we could never afford. A teacher came asking the hard questions, so we could face ourselves, and learn to stand when all else falls, even our desire to hold on to what the hardest questions would wash away.

The life of a horizon must be a difficult one. Perceptions… I think perception is to blame. Individual’s perceptions to be exact.

Constantly arriving but never completely “on time.”  Ever speeding up, and then slowing down. Bright, quiet, BIG, too slow, loud, soft, dark, too small, Too fast. Scary. Exhilarating.

People see the distant future in way too many ways for me to categorize, let alone list. The horizon is always something to glance towards, but it’s the rare individual prepared for its arrival (I count myself as part of the majority here). The older I get, the less I’m ready for my horizon, and at the same time the more I’m excited for it to come. As contrary as a musician can be, that’s me… watching the horizon and understanding, it’s not just coming, it’s already here.

Revolution:
1. To turn, single turn, rotation, circle, spin; circuit, lap.
2. Turning, rotation, circling; orbit.

Blog space has become much less of a notable presence in my life within the past year. Was it because of changes in circumstance or just plain complacency? Both. If honesty rules the day, the answer must be both.

My time as a worship “leader” has grown into time as a worship “pastor” and I’ve come to realize that the business of music in a church environment is as much about people as it is about music. No mistakes should be made about the seriousness of operating in excellence, but that is a matter for another post. In all things of a spiritual nature, what seems to flow within the current of the worldview runs against the current of the spirit. So it is with embracing change.

When change knocks on your door, don’t shut it out just because you may be afraid of what it brings. The process of change can be painful, or it can be liberating.

Holding on to the past can keep you stagnant. Reaching for the change, embracing it, even searching it out, can grow you.

Never accept what’s good simply because you may be afraid of what’s great.

Let your thinking come full circle. You’ll be better for it.

When we think on what God is to us, what Jesus is to the world, what do we do with the fact that he loves those that are unlike us? Unlike me? He loves those that think differently than I do. He relates to them in ways that I cannot (will not?) understand?

In prayer, is it not true that the prayer is most often meant to change my heart instead of God’s? In intimate proximity to Him because of the “drawing close”, doesn’t He know my heart before I even voice my prayer? Don’t be confused. Prayer is for you, not so much as it is for Him.

When we try to put God in a box because of the tendencies of religions and men, we do an injustice to the Spirit of God. Will God continue to move in our hearts and minds when we try to limit who He is? Has he ever been silent to Israel? Putting God into a box of convenience created by religious convictions, all for the sake of being comfortable in our rituals will create silence. Do not be confused. God knows your heart, He loves it. He cherishes the time of closeness. But God is not found only in the ritualistic regulations created by men and women that frequent the decorated halls of cathedrals. He is found in the shelled out apartment buildings caused by war. He is found in the quiet moments wiping mascara tears away after overdoses. He is found in the shadows of chains, even those we place on our own feet. He is found in the echoes that roll after the thunder and lightning. He is found at the graveside whispering to those that don’t know Him, as well as those that do. He is found in the crashing waves, in the lonely creak of the abandoned heart, in the fire’s ashes of the desolate and lost. He is found where you least expect Him to be.

I think the Spirit of the most Holy and High God is well able to help people with the accidental discovery of Grace. and I say “accidental” discovery because to them, they don’t know they have been drawn. Point towards the accidental places, the friend of sinners is there.

From exploreGod.com

Ever notice how the role of religion and Church has differing roles in people’s lives? For some it’s an ace in the sleeve, providing insurance against hard times. For others it’s a way to find fulfilment, using the church as a way to build friendships and bolster self esteem. Still others use the framework of Church to further and advance careers as speakers, artists, advisers, etc. Some people use the Church as a way to provide help paying bills. Some people use the Church as a way to play off the good intentions of kind hearted people to pay for vices and addictions. Some people use the Church, some people abuse the Church, some people run from the Church, some people run to the Church.

The unexpected consequence is that the true nature of what the Church should be is given a chance to shine in every situation listed above. Jesus will be who He is, regardless of why people try to evade, escape, use or abuse His means of bringing truth into the world. Next time we feel someone is taking advantage of the “majesty and mighty reverence” of the Church, remember that Jesus uses the foolish to shame the wise, and the weak to shame the mighty, He has chosen the things that are not, to nullify the things that are. He can use people’s wrong motivations to bring about right consequences.

The next time you (if you are a Christ follower) decide to slam someone for taking advantage of the Church or of God, think again, and never let the mistakes of men keep the unexpected consequence from being realized.