Christian Bookshelf Reviews

Interview & Giveaway! Sherri Wilson Johnson ~ Author of To Dance Once More!

2012-03-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Christian Bookshelf Reviews, Sherri! Will you tell us about yourself?

Hi, folks! I am Sherri Wilson Johnson, author of To Dance Once More. I am from Georgia—never lived anywhere else. I have been married since 1988. I am a former homeschooling mom of my two children (now 21 and 17) and I have a twelve year old Labrador and a two year old Chihuahua who doesn’t know she’s a dog.

What is your novel, To Dance Once More, about?

To Dance Once More is the story of Lydia Jane Barrington, a Victorian debutante. Lydia lives on a plantation in Florida under the watchful eye of her father. She’s quite an independent young lady who does not want to fall into the trap (as she sees it) that her mother and sisters have fallen into—marriage and motherhood. She wants to travel the world and experience life before giving her heart to a man. One day, her eyes are opened to love and no matter what, she cannot forget the blissful feeling it causes. She begins to believe that love isn’t such a bad thing after all. Then she discovers a secret that prohibits any of her dreams from ever coming true. She begins a quest to free herself and her family from a future of bondage. Hearts are broken and lives are torn apart because of Lydia’s own selfishness. Will she surrender to a call that God placed on her life and be able to experience love after all? You’ll have to read the book to find out.

What is something the average reader wouldn't know about you?

My daddy was a preacher of a Southern Baptist church and I met my husband at that church when I was fourteen years old. We didn’t actually start dating until I was eighteen, but it was truly a match made in Heaven and is the basis for all of my romances.

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?

I realized I wanted to be a writer when I was a little girl. I read books all the time and concocted stories in my head non-stop. When I was in high school I learned how to put stories together and it got into my blood. After reading a good number of distasteful romances, I knew that I needed to write something that people could read that would uplift their souls and not cause them to lust. It is my mission to bring people closer to God through my books.

How many books have you written? Do you have a favorite?

I have written three books. To Dance Once More is my first and probably will always hold a special place in my heart. Song of the Meadowlark (due out in May) is my second novel. I probably worked the hardest on this story to get it just right so there’s a lot of blood, sweat, and tears in it. After the Raging Storm is my third novel. I just finished it and am in the submission process now. I am currently writing To Laugh Once More, the sequel to To Dance Once More. I’ve got a legal mystery/suspense circulating in my head and a sequel to Song of the Meadowlark, also.

What is your writing process? Do you follow a regular routine?

I usually make a loose outline of my ideas for a new story. I do a general chapter-by-chapter plan, character analyses, and lots of research on my setting and time period before I begin writing. I write pretty much every waking hour—and sometimes in my sleep. Seriously! I am either researching, writing or editing all the time. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I either grab a pen and paper beside the bed or I email my main computer from my phone.

What would you say is the best and/or worst part about being a writer?

Waiting is the worst part. No, maybe rejection. Or both. I’m not a very patient waiter. The more impatient I am, the more God makes me wait, it seems. I hate waiting so much, I’d rather go ahead and get a rejection than to have to wait. But rejection stinks too. The thing about rejection is: you kind of get numb to it after a while. Waiting is something you never get used to.

What do you like to do when you're not writing?

I love to spend time with my family watching movies and eating ice cream/drinking coffee. We have lots of fun around our house. Home is my favorite place to be. If I’m not doing something with my family, I’m usually networking with Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, etc. on my computer or new smartphone. I’m trying to stay hip, haha!

Is there a place you’d like to visit, but haven’t yet?

I have hardly been out of the South so anywhere would be fun to travel. My husband and I have lots of plans for the future. I dearly would love to go to Italy and also England.

Do you have a favorite song and/or movie?

I like so many types of music, I can’t even begin to name one favorite song. I love Pride and Prejudice and In Love and War (Sandra Bullock). I also love scary movies (suspense) but appropriate ones are hard to find. My family still laughs at me because I will rarely choose even a PG-13 to rent because I hate premarital sex scenes or even references to it.

Who is your favorite author and what is it that really strikes you about their work?

I love to read a whole list of Christian authors in the romance, mystery, and suspense genres. I can’t even name a favorite. I love Gayle Roper, Gail Gaymer Martin, Catherine Palmer, Maggie Brendan, Frank Peretti, Ted Dekker…… I also enjoy reading Nicholas Sparks.

Do you have a favorite Bible verse?

John 14:1-3, hands down! “Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.” It gives me chills!

Are you currently working on any new novels? If so, could you tell us a little about it?

I am writing To Laugh Once More, the sequel to To Dance Once More, which continues the journey of Lydia and her quest for adventure.

Thank you so much for being here! Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

A theme running through all of my books is and will always be purity. I hope to show my readers that true love does exist and that waiting for marriage is worth it!

Where can we find you on the web?

www.sherriwilsonjohnson.com

Twitter: swj_thewriter
https://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_138295856220115#!/pages/Author-Sherri-Wilson-Johnson/138396456193536
http://sherrijinga.wordpress.com

Giveaway!

Enter to win To Dance Once More!

Here is how this giveaway works. If you live in the US and win, you have the choice between a print or eBook copy of To Dance Once More, but if you live outside of the US and win, you will receive an eBook copy.

Open Internationally!

Enter by filling out the Rafflecopter below (here is a tutorial, if you aren't familiar with Rafflecopter). The mandatory entry is to leave a blog post comment on this blog post - after you do that, the other entries will become available.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Review: Song of my Heart by Kim Vogel Sawyer

2012-03-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

Song of my Heart by Kim Vogel Sawyer
Bethany House ~ February, 2012
Amazon / Christianbook / Goodreads

About the book:

Sadie Wagner has always been devoted to her family. So when her stepfather is injured and can't work, she decides to leave home and accept a position as a clerk at the mercantile in Goldtree, Kansas. Goldtree also offers the opportunity to use her God-given singing talent—though the promised opera house is far different from what she imagined. With her family needing every cent she can provide, Sadie will do anything to keep her job.

Thad McKane comes to Goldtree at the request of the town council. The town has been plagued by bootlegging operations, and Thad believes he can find the culprit. After he earns enough money doing sheriff work, he wants to use it to pay for his training to become a minister.

Thad is immediately attracted to the beautiful singer who performs in Asa Baxter's unusual opera house, but when he hears her practicing bawdy tunes, he begins to wonder if she's far less innocent than she seems. And when Sadie appears to be part of the very crimes he's come to investigate, is there any hope the love blossoming between them will survive?

My rating:

My thoughts:

When Sadie Wagner arrives in Goldtree, Kansas, the only person she knows is Sid Wagner - her cousin, though not by blood.

Awkwardness arises between them when it becomes known that Sid has feelings for Sadie that are more than friendship. Sadie doesn't have the same feelings for Sid, though, and when she starts spending time with Thad McKane (the new sheriff), Sid becomes jealous and angry.

Love starts blooming between Sadie and Thad, but will circumstances stand in their way of love?

Pretty much throughout the entire story it was known who the bootlegger was, and the whole bootlegger aspect of the story didn't really interest me.

While I did enjoy most of Song of My Heart's story, it didn't really grab my attention until mid-way to late in the book. I really liked Thad's character and seeing him grow - both in his goals in life and faith.

I loved how grace and mercy was shown (and talked about) in Song of My Heart - that was one of my favorite things in the book.

I would have liked it if there would have been an epilogue telling what certain people thought of a certain thing (not going to say who or what), but maybe there will be a sequel....

Overall, it was a good book that I enjoyed reading. I recommend it if you enjoy historical novels!

*I received a complimentary copy from the publisher via Litfuse for my review. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.*

Win a Nook Tablet from Kim Vogel Sawyer and RSVP for her "Song of My Heart" Facebook Party {3/29}!

Celebrate with Kim by entering to win a Nook Tablet and connecting with her at the Book Chat Party on 3/29!

One "songbird" winner will receive:

A Nook Tablet
Song of My Heart by Kim Vogel Sawyer

Enter today by clicking one of the icons below. But hurry, the giveaway ends 3/28/12. Winner will be announced at Kim's Book Chat Facebook Party on 3/29. Kim will be hosting an evening of chat, fun trivia and more! She'll also be giving away some GREAT prizes: gift certificates, books, and much more!

So grab your copy of Song of My Heart and join Kim and friends on the evening of March 29th for an evening of fun.

Don't miss a moment of the fun. RSVP TODAY and tell your friends via FACEBOOK or TWITTER and increase your chances of winning. Hope to see you on the 29th!

On My Wishlist (4)

2012-03-10T18:10:00.000-06:00

On My Wishlist is a fun weekly event hosted by Book Chick City and runs every Saturday. It's where we list all the books we desperately want but haven't actually bought yet. They can be old, new or forthcoming. It's also an event that you can join in with too - Mr Linky is always at the ready for you to link your own 'On My Wishlist' post. If you want to know more click here.

I haven't done an "On My Wishlist" post in a while, and since I had this Saturday free, I thought I would! :D

Here are ten books that are on my ever-growing wishlist! :)

About When a Heart Stops:

Spunky and outgoing, nothing much bothers medical examiner Serena Hopkins--except for the thought of falling in love again. But when a serial killer is picking off her former classmates, Serena's life becomes intertwined with her old high school crush, FBI agent Dominic Allen. Is the secret she's keeping putting her next on the killer's hit list? Can she trust Dominic with the truth before it's too late?

Intense, emotional, and fast-paced, When a Heart Stops will have readers up late as they race to the finish to find out what happens.

Why it's on my wishlist:

Well, it's the second book in Lynette Eason's Deadly Reunions series and the first book ended with a cliffhanger... so, I can hardly wait to read what happens! :D

About Every Perfect Gift:

Sophie Robillard Caldwell has spent a lifetime guarding her heart…. and a life changing secret. Hoping to follow in the footsteps of the newspaperwomen she has come to admire, she returns to Hickory Ridge from Texas to revive the local paper, the Gazette.

Ethan Heyward, son of a Georgia planter has come to town to build and manage Blue Smoke, a luxury resort soon to open at the top of Hickory Ridge. He, too, is harboring a secret too painful to share with anyone…even Sophie.

It will take all of their trust and all of their faith to confront the past and embrace their future.

Why it's on my wishlist:

Though I haven't read book two (Beauty For Ashes) in Dorothy Love's Hickory Ridge series yet (I do have it on my shelf), I did read Beyond All Measure (book one) and really enjoyed it!

About Masquerade:

1886, New York City: Charlotte Gleason, a rich heiress from England, escapes a family crisis by traveling to America in order to marry the even wealthier Conrad Tremaine. She soon decides that an arranged marriage is not for her and persuades her maid, Dora, to take her place. What begins as the whim of a spoiled rich girl wanting adventure becomes a test of survival.

As for Dora, she lives a fairy tale complete with gowns, jewels, and lavish mansions--yet is tormented by guilt and the presence of another love that will not die. Will their masquerade be discovered? Will one of them have second thoughts? Will love win out? There is no guarantee the switch will work. It's a risk. It's the chance of a lifetime.

Why it's on my wishlist:

Masquerade sounds like such a fun read! I really hope I get to read it one day... :)

About Trinity: Military War Dog:

A year ago in Afghanistan, Green Beret Heath Daniel’s career was destroyed. Along with his faith. Now he and his military war dog, Trinity train other dogs and their handlers through the A Breed Apart organization. The job works. But his passion is to be back in the field. The medical discharge says it can’t happen due to the traumatic brain injury that forced Heath to the sidelines.

Until. . .

Military intelligence officer Darci Kintz is captured and the geological survey team she’s covertly embedded with is slaughtered while secretly tracking the Taliban. It’s clear only one dog can handle the extreme conditions to save her. Trinity. Only one man can handle Trinity.

Time is running out on the greatest—and most dangerous—mission of their lives.

Why it's on my wishlist:

This book sound so GOOD! I love the fact that Trinity is the only dog that can handle the conditions to save Darci... the whole story seems like it will be fantastic! :D

About With Every Letter:

As part of a World War II morale-building program, flight nurse Lt. Mellie Blake begins an anonymous correspondence with Lt. Tom MacGilliver in North Africa. As their letters crisscross the Atlantic, they develop a deep friendship. But when they're both transferred to Algeria, will their future be held hostage by the past---or will they reveal their identities?

Why it's on my wishlist:

I haven't read any of Sarah Sundin's novels yet and I really want to! With Every Letter sounds like a great book! :)

About Head in the Clouds:

Adelaide Proctor longs to find a real-life storybook hero to claim as her own. But when a husband-hunting debacle leaves her humiliated, she interviews for a governess position on a remote Texas sheep ranch and vows to leave her silly romantic yearnings behind.

Gideon Westcott left his privileged life in England to make a name for himself in America's wool industry, never expecting to end up with a child. To his dismay, five-year-old Isabella hasn't uttered a word since she lost her mother. The unconventionality of the new governess concerns Gideon-and intrigues him at the same time. But he can't afford distractions.

Why it's on my wishlist:

I've heard a lot of great things about Head in the Clouds and I am really looking forward to reading it one day.

About Darkroom:

YOU SHALL KNOW THE TRUTH, AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE . . .

After scattering her mother’s ashes in Vietnam, photojournalist Xandra Carrick comes home to New York to rebuild her life and career. When she experiences, in her darkroom, supernatural visions that reveal atrocities perpetrated by American soldiers during the Vietnam War, she finds herself entangled in a forty-year-old conspiracy that could bring the nation into political turmoil.

Launching headlong into a quest to learn the truth from her father, Peter Carrick, a Pulitzer Prize laureate who served as an embedded photographer during the war, she confronts him about a dark secret he has kept—a secret that has devastated their family.

Her investigations lead her to her departed mother’s journal, which tells of love, spiritual awakening, and surviving the fall of Saigon.

Pursued across the continent, Xandra comes face-to-face with powerful forces that will stop at nothing to prevent her from revealing the truth. But not before government agencies arrest her for murder, domestic terrorism, and an assassination attempt on the newly elected president of the United States.

Darkroom is a riveting tale of suspense that tears the cover off the human struggle for truth in a world imprisoned by lies.

Why it's on my wishlist:

It sounds like a really suspenseful read and (since I love suspense) I've added it to my wishlist! :)

About Prince Incognito:

A PRINCE WITH NO MEMORY

Injured in an attack on the royal motorcade and missing his memory, Alec has one person he can trust. Lillian Bardici, the woman who rescued him. Lily has a soft heart for any hurt creature, but her family has a bitter grudge against Lydia's ruling family-Alec's family. For once his memory returns, Alec knows the truth. He is Prince Alexander, and his family is in danger. All he wants is to find and help them...but now that Alec's found his purpose, will he lose Lily, who's under orders by her family to betray him?

Why it's on my wishlist:

It's a continuation of Rachelle's Reclaiming the Crown series and I would love to read it and find out what happens in Alec's life.

About Wrong Number:

When Aubree Stewart receives a mysterious phone call on her way to work, she doesn t know what to think when the caller mentions a dead body. At first she assumes it s some kind of prank. But the call isn't a practical joke, and Aubree soon finds herself swept up in a world of danger, intrigue, and murder. With help from the FBI, Aubree races to protect herself and what s left of her family, but the one thing she forgets to protect is her own heart.

Why it's on my wishlist:

I don't know whether or not this is considered "Christian fiction", but I read on an Amazon review that it's clean and I am really interested in reading it! :D

About Caller ID:

When twenty-three-year-old Courtney Beckham is abducted near her home, the search turns up more than just a kidnapping crime. FBI agent Jason Edwards investigates the ten-million-dollar ransom and stumbles upon something he wasn't meant to find. When Courtney catches a glimpse of the caller ID in her kidnapper's home, what she sees turns her world upside down.

Why it's on my wishlist:

Caller ID sounds really suspenseful! I'd love to read it! :)

~

So there you have it - ten books from my wishlist! What books are on your wishlist? Please share in a comment below. :)

Successful Women Think Differently: 9 Habits to Make You Happier, Healthier, and More Resilient by Valorie Burton

2012-03-09T17:59:00.000-06:00

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

Today's Wild Card author is:

Valorie Burton

and the book:

Successful Women Think Differently:
9 Habits to Make You Happier, Healthier, and More Resilient

Harvest House Publishers (February 1, 2012)

***Special thanks to Karri | Marketing Assistant | Harvest House Publishers for sending me a review copy.***

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Valorie Burton is a certified personal and executive coach who has served hundreds of clients in over 40 states and seven countries. She is founder and director of The Coaching and Positive Psychology Institute and the author of six books on personal development. She is deeply committed to helping people be more resilient so they can thrive in life and work, be more productive, and live with balance and purpose.

Visit the author's website.

SHORT BOOK DESCRIPTION:

In Successful Women Think Differently, Valorie Burton helps women create new thought processes that empower them to succeed in their relationships, finances, work, health, and spiritual life. In this powerful and practical guide, women will gain insight into who they really are and receive the tools, knowledge, and understanding to succeed.

Product Details:
List Price: $12.99
Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (February 1, 2012)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0736938567
ISBN-13: 978-0736938563

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Believe You Can Do It

How you explain your success and failure predicts more about your potential than you think

Key Lessons

 Optimism is a key to reaching high levels of success

 Adopt a “growth mindset” rather than a fixed one

 Take notice of your thoughts—and adjust them as needed

Cecily struggled with her weight for several years before her doctor gave her a serious wake-up call: she was prediabetic. She needed to lose 40 pounds and maintain a regimen of exercise and a healthier diet. The mid-afternoon vending machine runs for Little Debbies and potato chips would need to stop. So would the couch potato habits and all the excuses for why she didn’t have time to exercise. But every time Cecily talked about doing better, her thoughts and subsequent words looked something like this:

I’ve tried before and failed. What’s the point of trying again if the same thing is going to happen? It’s a waste of time. I just need to accept that I’m a big woman. My mother is big. My sister gained weight after 30. Why should I think I can be any different? Healthy food is bland. I don’t want it. And I’m embarrassed to work out in public. I don’t want people staring at my flabby, overweight body. I can’t do this.

With these thoughts, Cecily set out to do what the doctor suggested. As you can imagine, her efforts were short-lived. Her counterproductive thoughts overpowered her intentions. Actions follow thoughts, and counterproductive thoughts will always send you in the opposite direction of your goal.

Think back for a moment to a recent failure. Maybe it was a relationship that went south or a promotion you were denied or a decision that got you into hot water. Or maybe it is something simpler—a test you failed or that 21-day diet that you’d already given up on by day two. Got a failure in mind? We all have them. Now, answer this question honestly and without too much thought: Why did you fail? Jot down the first things that come to mind. Just a short bullet-pointed list:

Did you write down your reasons? If not, don’t skip that part. Write it down.

It’s a simple exercise, but noticing how you think about failure can tell you a great deal about how high you will ascend on the success ladder. Numerous books will tell you that to be successful, you should simply emulate successful people. It can be tempting, then, to observe a woman who has achieved success, whether in her relationships or finances or health or work, and take notes about the steps she took to get to her destination. Why is it, then, that you can take two women with very similar backgrounds, education, and experience, and one excels while the other languishes? Why does one clear the hurdle when she faces it and the other trips and falls flat on her face, never to get up again? Why does one set big, compelling goals while the other settles for far less than she seems capable of ?

Many of the answers to these questions cannot be found by simply observing the steps each woman chose to take. The more important insight is to understand what caused one of them to take those steps—to even think to take those steps—while the other did not. The edge the successful woman has over the average is in her thought processes. It is not external, but internal. Sometimes it is learned through experiences and parental examples. However, some aspects of the thought process come very naturally to you. You are either more optimistic or pessimistic in your thinking. Although you may naturally lean in one direction or the other in the face of a challenge or opportunity, an optimistic thinking style can be learned.

Let me be specific about what I mean by these two terms. The hallmark of a pessimist is that she tends to believe negative events in life will last forever, will impact everything she does, and are all her fault. But when faced with similar circumstances, the optimist believes just the opposite. She sees the event as a temporary setback, believes it is limited to this specific instance, and doesn’t blame it all on herself. Instead, the optimist sees all of the external circumstances that contributed—other people, poor timing, and even God’s will.

So let’s go back to that recent failure you identified a moment ago and take a look at the reasons you gave for it. Re-read what you wrote. Then, answer one more question: Are all of your reasons personal faults and character traits? In other words, are your reasons things that you can’t do anything about or are some of your reasons changeable?

Women who are most successful explain their failures in terms of things they can take control over. In other words, they realize they have weaknesses and faults, but those are not the sole reasons why things go wrong. Instead, they focus on the external reasons—people who made things more difficult, the fact that they weren’t as prepared as they could have been, the fact that the economy was bad, the weather was bad, the boss was having a bad day again.

None of these reasons have permanent implications. After all, next time she can prepare better, the weather may improve, the economy won’t be bad forever, and even if the boss keeps his job, she can always find another boss to work for in another department or company. Failing this time doesn’t mean failing next time. With a few intentional tweaks and changes, the next go-round will be a clean slate.

The successful woman is hopeful. She is empowered by knowledge of lessons gleaned from the failure of the previous try. She doesn’t take failure personally and she knows that failing doesn’t make her a failure. She knows that internalizing failure is a death sentence for her dreams. After all, if you’re a failure, what’s the point of attempting to be a success?

This last question is critical. The two thinking styles—optimistic and pessimistic—produce specific results. Numerous studies illustrate that pessimists don’t persevere. They give up more easily. They become depressed more often. And for women, this is even more pronounced. We are twice as likely as men to experience depression, and the average age of the first onset of depression is now just 14 years old—half the age it was just a few decades ago. Because we experience higher highs and lower lows emotionally than men do, we can be more sensitive to the emotional impact of our goals and efforts to reach them. Having an optimistic thinking style results in feelings that encourage us to persevere in the face of challenges.

Consider the girl who sets out to sell Girl Scout cookies. Her goal is to sell 20 boxes in front of the grocery store on Saturday. When her four-hour shift is over, she has sold just four boxes. You ask her what happened and the conversation goes something like this:

You: I’m sure you were disappointed. Why do you think you only sold four boxes?

Girl: I’m no good at selling anything. My mom said she had a sales job once and she’s no good at it either. Nobody likes these cookies that much. I hate bothering people. Everybody’s on a budget these days and all the women say they’re trying to lose weight and can’t eat sweets. I don’t know if I’m going to bother going back next Saturday.

Now, I know you’re not a little girl, but sometimes when it comes to self-talk that little girl voice emerges and it can sabotage your success. The eternal pessimist explains her failures as personal (flaws or traits that have no hope of changing), permanent (the problem will exist forever), and pervasive (the personal flaw that caused the failure will sabotage your success in other ways too). Psychologists call it your “explanatory” or thinking style. I call it the determining factor in whether or not you will be as successful as you are capable of being. The sooner you start paying attention to what you say to yourself about your life, your circumstances, and yes, your failures, the sooner you will break through to the next level.

LEARNING TO FAIL FORWARD

At 28, Meredith Moore became the youngest director in the McDonald’s Corporation. But her stellar career didn’t start off so stellar. A series of bumps could have bruised her, but instead took her on an inner journey that landed her in a role reporting to the president of one of the most recognizable brands in the world.

When Meredith graduated from Howard University with a degree in communications, the Minnesota native took a job at an international financial services firm. Initially she was trained to be a stockbroker, but passing the licensing exam proved to be struggle. Still, on the job she was a star performer her first year—an accolade she thought would be rewarded. But in the stodgy “good ole boy” environment, her talent wasn’t as great an asset as she’d imagined. “The HR rep at the company said something peculiar after my first year and I’ve always remembered it: ‘Talented people push back.’ ” In other words, talented people see where there is room for improvement and expect that others want to improve. Talented people question the status quo. Talented people are driven to succeed and therefore they notice what’s happening—or not happening—that might impede success. The culture was not a good fit and Meredith was soon reassigned from the East Coast to the Midwest.

“The company was stuck in 1955,” she reflects. “They didn’t want new people.” If the culture had been the only problem, she may have been able to persist longer, but soon Meredith found that her competence was being called into question on a regular basis—something she’d never experienced before. For years, Meredith had confidence in her ability to write—it was something that brought her a sense of joy and accomplishment. It was a gift she’d honed over the years, especially in college. Now, she had a supervisor who told her plain and simple, “You can’t write.” To make matters worse, the supervisor refused to offer any feedback on what exactly she needed to improve. “I had always been pretty good at assessing my abilities. Since childhood, I had been a good writer. The organization beat me down so much that I started to say to myself, ‘I’m not a good writer.’ But my job in marketing and communications was 90 percent writing.”

Work was becoming a struggle as Meredith attempted to please a boss who couldn’t be pleased. “It was a toxic environment. I tried every chain of contacting the human resources department, mentors, or anyone I thought could help me improve the situation. Everyone said, ‘Just hold on.’ Eventually, though, they said, ‘We can’t help you.’ ” Meredith felt isolated in more ways than one—in a company with few prospects for advancement, in a town she had no connection to, many miles from family or the friends she’d had in college, and with no church or community connections. She knew she needed to come up with a game plan. Although her parents advised her to stick it out, that advice felt unbearable to Meredith.

“I had never quit before,” Meredith says. “But the pivotal moment for me was when I began to doubt myself. That had never been my mode of operation.” It was Meredith’s self-sabotaging thoughts that concerned her more than anything else. She understood something at a young age, a critical key to success for women: successful women believe in themselves. They have an authentic confidence that buoys them in the face of challenges and opportunities. Without that confidence, Meredith would lack the fuel to reach her goals. So she quit, and she did so quite unconventionally. One night, fed up, she decided never to go back to work at the company she’d called her employer for a year and eight months. “I packed up in the middle of the night, cleaned up my apartment, took my cat, and drove to Chicago. I left with no job.”

Meredith immediately landed a job that was essentially an internship with an ad agency. At $10 an hour, it was a far cry from her very comfortable paycheck plus benefits at the financial services firm. She was adamant though, that she had made the right decision. “I learned my worth and value. I was only making $10 an hour, but I wasn’t being disrespected. I was willing to let go of all of my earthly belongings to avoid having people treat me badly,” she says. No one understood her decision to leave, especially her parents. But Meredith learned a key lesson through the experience. Previously, she said, she always felt she needed other people to validate her pain and her experiences. But something clicked for her the night she decided to pack up and leave. “I figured out that if I experienced it, it was valid. Other people don’t need to validate my pain in order for it to be real.”

Her leap of faith wasn’t without a net for long. For one, she had her sister and a new church home where she felt inspired and grounded. Then opportunity knocked. “I had forgotten that I applied for a job at McDonald’s Corporation while I was still at the previous company,” she remembers. The company, headquartered in a suburb of Chicago, called a week and a half into her internship with the ad agency and offered her a job as a communications supervisor. She would be supporting the Chief Operating Officer of McDonald’s USA with research for the financial writing needs of the company.

“There are times when you just know that God has a hand in your life,” she says. “There is no way I could have ordained that.” Still, she admits, “It felt like a setback because I wasn’t getting the chance to write.” But she was in the right place at the right time, and the doubts about her writing abilities had dissipated since leaving.

She struck up a conversation with the COO one day. He asked her, “What do you see as your next step here?” It was just the question Meredith wanted to hear. “I think I can be one of the writers,” she answered. He took notice of her answer—clear and concise, and simple enough for him to act on. “He let me start helping out on some of his stuff. For example, he had an upcoming trip to Pittsburgh and let me look at his speech. I gave him some feedback.” And he did the one thing she’d hoped for at her last job: he offered her feedback. “I loved that he would tell me why something did or didn’t work! I needed that. I could learn!” Within six months, the COO promoted her to communications manager. And when he was promoted to president of the company, the communications demands of his office increased, along with Meredith’s responsibilities. She became external relations manager, and then director of external relations and brand outreach, making her the youngest director at the multi-billion-dollar McDonald’s USA.

LESSONS FOR FAILING FORWARD

Meredith didn’t specifically set out to become the youngest director in the company. She aimed to find a place where her talents could be appreciated, where she could learn and grow, and where a mentor would be an advocate for her. When asked what’s next, she mirrors the same approach that has worked for her so far. “I don’t know what my goal is. I’ve had such accidental blessings, but I’ve been ready for them when they showed up,” she says.

I see it a bit differently. Meredith is the type of woman who aims for passion and excellence. It is a strength so innate to her approach to life that she doesn’t even call it a goal, but it leads her to succeed at high levels. She is prepared when opportunity knocks. “I don’t know what my experiences are preparing me for, but I’m excited about it,” Meredith says. “I’m optimistic about my future. My thirties are looking pretty good!”

We can see many of the seven decisions in Meredith’s story. She refused to downsize her dream, chose courage over fear, actively sought feedback, and focused on solutions instead of problems. Here are a few more lessons:

 She refused to internalize the negativity she experienced at her first job. Instead, she attributed her failure there to the culture of the company and the stubbornness of her boss rather than exclusively attributing the problems to her own character flaws or lack of ability.

 She failed forward. She was willing to take a step back in order to find a better path.

 She took a risk.

 She took decisive action by cutting her losses and starting over.

 She believed in herself.

 She knew herself, and was able to decipher between “her stuff ” and “other people’s stuff.” When others’ negative issues tried to redefine who she was, she recognized it as “their stuff ” and didn’t make those issues her own.

 She volunteered to help with assignments outside of her job description so that she could demonstrate her abilities and also learn and grow.

 Sometimes sticking it out is not the best option. Sometimes you need to push the reset button and start again.

In Meredith’s case, a pivotal shift occurred when she realized she was beginning to be pessimistic about her abilities and doubt herself in a way she never had before. She was self-aware, and she knew her new thoughts were a threat to her future success. She innately understood that she had to turn those thoughts around. She knew it would be an uphill climb to change her thoughts in such a toxic environment, so she changed environments.

We’ll talk a bit more about self-awareness later, but for now, just keep in mind that succeeding at the next level will mean becoming much more aware of your thoughts. What are you telling yourself about your failures? Is it “I always mess up” or “I was exhausted today”? Is it “Nobody will spend money on my products in a bad economy” or “I’ve got to find the people who are still spending money despite a bad economy”? If your mind were an electronic billboard for the world to see, what are the thoughts they’d get to read? It takes intention to accurately capture your thoughts. With practice, you can notice them and approve the ones that help you, inviting them in and repeating them as often as needed to move you to the right actions. It’s all about your thinking style in the face of failures or disappointments.

WHAT’S YOUR MINDSET?

Dr. Carol Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, has spent much of her career studying the mental attitudes of the most successful people—young and old—in the face of challenges and opportunities. What she has discovered is a fundamental difference in the mindset of the most successful people.

Her quest began early in her career as she engaged in research to better understand how people cope with failure. She observed young students grappling with problems, using puzzles as the method of problem solving. Beginning with fairly simple puzzles, she then had students move on to harder ones. Her goal was not to see who finished the puzzles fastest or had the easiest time solving the puzzles. Instead, she studied each student’s thought process by observing the strategies they used to solve the problem and probing their thoughts and feelings during problem solving.

She noticed that a handful of students in her studies did something peculiar compared to the others: they welcomed challenge. They were excited by the puzzles they had trouble solving. The harder the puzzle, the more determined they seemed. While other students were motivated by the possibility of looking smart and were deflated by feelings of discouragement in the face of the difficult puzzles, these students were not intimidated. When these “peculiar” students appeared to be failing because they couldn’t solve the puzzle, they didn’t even seem to view the experience as failing. Instead, they clearly thought they were learning.

What Dr. Dweck pinpointed through her research can profoundly impact how you approach your entire life—from career and relationships to health and financial habits. She called this simple but fundamental difference “fixed mindset” and “growth mindset.”

A fixed mindset is focused on talent. Someone with a fixed mindset believes statements like “You are smart and therefore you will do well in life” and “You are naturally gifted and that will take you far.” Those who have a fixed mindset believe that one’s natural gifts and abilities determine how far one can go in life. These are the people who believe that one’s intelligence is defined by one’s IQ, GPA, and SAT scores. These numbers become not just a measure of potential, but a limitation of potential. Those blessed with very high scores in a particular area of life gain a sense of confidence—but also insecurity. Since potential is measured by a set criteria, falling below that criteria can put one’s very intelligence or value at stake.

I recall believing I was smart and questioning that belief after getting low scores on the verbal section of the SAT. If I had allowed those scores to define my potential, I certainly would not be an author today! When we allow our potential to be limited by grades or performance reviews, it affects our belief in our own possibilities.

Many women are trained to operate in this mindset from childhood on. You were praised for your giftedness. This praise may even, at times, have made you feel more special or worthy than others. You probably don’t like to admit this, but for many it is true. Parents sometimes even encourage this belief in the name of building confidence in their children. But it is dangerous. What happens when you believe the reason you succeed is solely based on your giftedness? When you don’t succeed, it can be devastating. You are constantly in a position of proving how smart you are and how gifted you are. And the pressure can be intense. So much so that people with a fixed mindset shy away from challenges they are unsure they can conquer. “Better to stay in my comfort zone than to risk failure,” they say to themselves subconsciously. Every opportunity or challenge is an evaluation of their worth. “Will I be a success or a failure? Will I gain more approval or end up rejected?”

Another trait of those with a fixed mindset is that they look down on effort. “If you have to try hard, you must not really be that good,” the fixed mindset says. Before I became aware of the mindsets, I discovered this attitude in myself. It was holding me back tremendously and I didn’t even know it. The same could be true for you.

Using the technique of coaching through journaling, I began peeling back the layers as I sought to understand why I was so stuck as I tried to move toward some exciting goals that I’d set for myself. Here’s how that internal conversation went:

Question: What am I so afraid of when it comes to being more assertive about marketing my company and services?

Self: I don’t know that I am afraid. It just seems like if my marketing is effective, I wouldn’t have to directly ask for opportunities.

Question: What is so bad about directly asking for opportunities?

Self: I know it is a normal part of business to ask. And a lot of people ask for opportunities. But if you are really successful and talented, you don’t have to ask. You are asked. You are invited.

This was a bit of a lightbulb moment! I was actually surprised to hear myself say this. “Successful people don’t have to ask.” Where did I get this idea from? I knew I believed it, but I also knew it might be a faulty belief. So I continued probing. This is what you have to do sometimes to get to the bottom of an issue. Without having a name for it at the time, what I discovered was a fixed mindset. Here’s what I was really saying: If you have talent, you don’t have to try so hard. You don’t have to ask! Trying hard somehow diminishes your talent. You aren’t really that talented if the way you arrived at success was by putting forth so much effort. Gifted people are naturally successful. So I continued the self-coaching conversation:

Question: So is it true that successful people—truly successful ones—don’t have to ask? Think of highly successful people you know. Is this the principle they subscribe to?

Self: Well, as I think about my mentors and even well-known entrepreneurs, I know they ask for opportunities. They don’t just wait to see what shows up. They get clear about what they want and they are not afraid to ask for it.

Question: So is your belief that “successful and talented people don’t ask” helping you or hurting you?

Self: It’s definitely hurting me. First, it’s simply untrue. And second, it’s leading me to use an approach that is much too passive.

Question: What new belief do you want to replace that old one with?

Self: Truly successful people ask for opportunities. They don’t just market, they also sell. And they put forth a lot of effort, which in no way diminishes their talent. Instead, it shows their commitment. Not asking because you believe it will diminish your talent is simply prideful.

In this short five-minute self-coaching exercise, I unearthed a limiting belief that had been lying just beneath the surface of my actions (or lack thereof) for years. And it was rooted in a fixed mindset that says effort is somehow a negative. After all, if you fail and you can say you didn’t really put forth much effort, you have an excuse. But if you fail and you truly gave it your all, your very worth is at stake. Women with a fixed mindset are terrified of failure. In the mind of a woman with a fixed mindset, failure is not what you do, but it defines who you are. The exciting part is that you have a choice.

Think back to a time when you failed and then called into question your own intelligence or abilities. Perhaps you began to doubt whether you could ever accomplish what you set out to do. You failed in a relationship and decided you were doomed to remain single forever. “I just don’t get the love thing. I’m no good at it,” you say. Or, “I keep getting rejected by men. I must be unlovable.” These are decisive evaluations of your relationship abilities that give you no room for improvement. “This is who you are and how you are and it’s not going to change,” the fixed mindset says. That mindset works just fine when you are succeeding at everything, but when you start struggling or failing, it simply leaves no hope for the future.

The fixed mindset says life dealt you a hand and that’s it. This often causes people, dissatisfied with the hand they’ve been dealt, to bluff about the hand they’ve been given. These are people who often feel afraid they will be found out. They are constantly trying to prove themselves and sometimes feel like an imposter putting on a façade of smarts and personality to win people’s approval and praise. The growth mindset offers an approach that melts anxiety and opens the door to amazing possibilities. It says your natural traits are more than just something you have to live with, but simply a starting point. You can cultivate the qualities needed to succeed through your own efforts. A growth mindset believes you can grow through experience and change substantially through your actions. Unlike a fixed mindset, a growth mindset doesn’t disdain effort. It thrives on it!

Because those with a growth mindset believe that through effort they can learn things they previously did not understand, improve personality traits, and even grow in intelligence, they are not as easily discouraged by failure. When you have a growth mindset, challenges that stretch you far beyond your comfort zone actually excite you. You realize you’re going to learn something. You will be expanded by the experience, not judged by it.

Women with a growth mindset believe that with years of discipline and passion, their true potential is unknown. Why waste time hiding your shortcomings rather than simply overcoming them? Why not make friends or search for a spouse who will challenge you to grow rather than simply quell your insecurities? Why stay in your comfort zone and play it safe when you could stretch toward your true dreams?

Another important distinction is this: Studies show that just as people are very poor predictors of what will make them truly happy, we are also poor judges of our own abilities. Those who are most inaccurate at estimating what they are capable of are those with a fixed mindset.

Consider this: If you believe you can improve, you are not as intimidated by the idea that your abilities are not currently as great as you would like. In your mind, those abilities are not set in stone. They will change as you actively learn and grow. However, if you believe that your abilities are permanently set you will be more likely to inflate them. If there’s no room for growth or change, you’ll want to impress people as much as possible right now!

DOES A GROWTH MINDSET
NEGATE STRENGTHS?

When you build on your strengths rather than assuming they are fixed, you multiply your efforts. Sure, you may be a natural-born leader and you’ve been leading for years, but does that mean you couldn’t still be more effective? A woman with a fixed mindset is content to rest on her laurels. A growth mindset sees strengths as only a starting point. Wisely, she taps into her strengths and then nourishes that talent.

Choosing a growth mindset doesn’t mean your individual strengths don’t matter. In fact, a woman with a growth mindset notices strengths and weaknesses more than those with a fixed mindset. It simply recognizes that skills can be developed—whether in one’s career, relationships, finances, spiritual life, or health habits.

This is particularly exciting news if you have ever felt you were stuck with your circumstances—that your intelligence is a fixed entity, that your relationship skills are set, or that your penchant for flubbing finances is an unchangeable trait you inherited from a parent. You can change. You are capable of far more than you may have previously thought.

Dream of changing careers, but feel like it’s too late to change course? Always wish that you had gone to college or graduate school, but fear you can’t cut it? Had a string of broken relationships and feel like you’ll never understand the opposite sex? There is abundant hope for you! You can learn new skills, patterns, and habits that will transform your ability to succeed at the endeavors most meaningful to you. Your most successful path to doing so will marry your strengths with a growth mindset—taking you to higher heights than you’ve ever experienced before.

It’s time to stretch beyond your comfort zone.

I learned this firsthand after uncovering my fixed mindset belief that successful women somehow “ascend” to the top. They don’t have to ask for opportunities. Instead, if they are really talented, opportunities show up on their own. To be clear, opportunities often do show up on their own for women with talent. They are a like a magnet that attracts opportunities. But there can sometimes be a strategic danger to using “attraction” as your sole method of success. What happens when you don’t attract the right opportunities? What happens when you want to go to a completely new level and you are simply not in the right place or around the right types of people to bring that vision to fruition? What happens if God is calling you out of your comfort zone to stretch and break free of your fear of rejection or failure? It is during those times that it is essential to tap into a growth mindset.

In fact, it could be argued that God calls us to a growth mindset. Consider these Scriptures:

 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”—Romans 12:2

 “With God, all things are possible.”—Matthew 19:26

 “To him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”—Ephesians 3:20

From a spiritual perspective, you cannot possibly believe that your potential is fixed and has no potential to expand. If you believe all things are possible, then you can rest assured that if you open your mind, you could find yourself growing beyond your wildest dreams.

Have you told yourself that you’re stuck in any of these areas? Where do you believe you have little hope or no further potential?

 Presentation skills. You are scared to death to speak in front of people. You’ve accepted this, and, for the most part, avoid any situation in which you are asked to make a presentation.

 Accounting and finance. You don’t know the difference between a financial statement and a balance sheet, and see no reason to fix that. You’ve decided you’re not that good with numbers and you can live with that. When people talk finances in a meeting, your motto is from Proverbs 17:28: “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent!”

 Personal finances. Maybe you never find yourself in a situation where you need to understand business accounting, but you cannot avoid the need to better manage your personal finances. You are financially illiterate and don’t understand what it will take for you to ever find financial freedom and peace. And the idea of learning scares you.

 Getting fit. You see women in magazines or even jogging down the street who seem to have some magical ability to take care of themselves. You were never an athlete as a kid, and see no reason to start now. The idea of making fitness a part of your lifestyle—something that you do daily—seems daunting and out of character for you. Yet it is also intriguing. Could you actually do it?

 New career. You don’t actually want to be in pharmaceutical sales or teaching or ___________ (you fill in the blank!) any more. You have a dream of becoming an attorney or author or _________________. But do you really have what it takes? You don’t know anything about the field—you just know you feel drawn to it and you have the strengths for it. Is that enough to take a step in a new direction? There’s so much you’d have to learn. What if you can’t cut it?

 Love life. You and your husband seem to be stuck in a rut. He just doesn’t get you. He probably never will. And frankly, you’re so frustrated with him that you’ve given up trying to see his point of view or to keep bending and changing to please him. After twelve years of marriage, you have almost lost hope that this will ever be the kind of marriage you’d dreamed of before you tied the knot. Now you just feel stuck. Is there really hope for undoing old habits? Could you actually learn to communicate better?

 Shyness. You’ve always been shy. It’s the reason you don’t have many friends, and you blame your lack of career advancement on it. After all, shy people aren’t exactly good networkers. Shyness is a personality trait, right? That’s not something you can change. Well, what if you could?

That’s the question I want to plant as a seed in your mind. What if you could change? What if being shy or a procrastinator or a poor communicator or math-averse was something you could permanently overcome? If there was a road map to doing so, would you be willing to follow the map? I hope so. Open your mind to the possibility that what you know now as your potential is only a fraction of what is truly possible. The key to advancement is recognizing that your limitations are not unchangeable, fixed, or genetic. With education you can expand your understanding in these areas. With discipline, your possibilities are truly limitless.

HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN SUCCESS?

At the beginning of the chapter we examined your perceptions of a recent failure. Your success is determined just as much by your thinking style as your failures. Think back to a recent success you had. It can be something big or small. Jot it down here:

Why did you succeed? Jot down a few bullet-pointed reasons here:

Now, let’s take a look at how you explain your success. Did you attribute it to external factors (luck, other people, the weather) or internal ones (you worked hard, you’re smart, you’re disciplined)? Did you see your success as temporary (I succeeded this time, but who knows if I can pull it off again?) or permanent (it could definitely happen again)? Did you see it as specific (I am good at this one thing, and that’s it) or pervasive (my success at this task represents a bigger theme in my life)?

DO YOU EXPLAIN
YOUR SUCCESS AWAY?

Interestingly, a disproportionate number of women who succeed at high levels experience what researchers call the “imposter syndrome.” It is a phenomenon that occurs when you are unable to really connect the dots and internalize your accomplishments. Despite your hard work, competence, and experience, you see success as a fluke, pure luck, or your ability to get others to believe you are smarter or more talented than you really are. As a result, you have a nagging feeling that people are going to find you out—that eventually, the jig will be up and you’ll be found out. Strangely, successful men simply do not report feeling this way nearly as often as women. I recall a coaching client whose successful talent had been showcased nationally, even landing her on the Oprah Winfrey Show. She confided to me, “I feel like a fraud. I mean, I do the work, but I don’t think I’m more talented than anyone else. I always feel like people are going to find out that I’m really not that great.” A recent Psychology Today article pointed out rich and famous women who were impacted by the imposter syndrome. After being nominated for three Academy awards and six Golden Globes, actress Michelle Pfeiffer shared her self-doubts in an interview in 2002. “I still think people will find out that I’m really not very talented. I’m really not very good. It’s all been a big sham.” The article went on to quote Academy Award winner Kate Winslet: “Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud.”

If it happens at such public and high levels of success, what happens to us in the everyday efforts of life—in our marriages and relationships, as mothers and managers, employees and business owners? Whether you face doubts as severe as feeling like a fraud or occasionally doubt yourself in the face of a particularly difficult challenge, the key is to notice what you say to yourself about your success. True success is not anxious or doubtful, but confident and at peace. If you find that a pessimistic thinking style is invading your thoughts, you have the power to renew those thoughts by choosing a new outlook.

BUILD SELF-AWARENESS

So what does this all mean for you? When you succeed, even in the small things, you want your thinking style to be the opposite of when you fail.

When you succeed, attribute it to:	When you fail, attribute it to:
Internal factors	External factors
See it as permanent rather than temporary	See it as temporary rather than permanent
See it as pervasive rather than specific	See it as specific rather than pervasive

In his book Learned Optimism, Dr. Martin Seligman notes, “Some people, the ones who give up easily, habitually say of their misfortunes: ‘It’s me, it’s going to last forever, it’s going to undermine everything I do.’ Others, those who resist giving in to misfortune, say: ‘It was just circumstances, it’s going away quickly anyway, and besides, there’s much more in life.’ ”

What does this all mean for you? As you navigate the path to your life’s vision, pay attention to your thoughts. Refuse to allow pessimistic thinking to rule. Sure, pessimistic thoughts may invade your mind. But intentionally question those thoughts, and ensure that the thoughts you embrace are accurate and productive. In other words, any thoughts that produce self-sabotaging fear and paralyze you from moving forward need to be rejected. It is a choice. With practice, it is a choice you will make more quickly over time. You will develop an optimistic thinking style that empowers you to dream bigger, bolder dreams and walk into your vision with confidence. And you will be empowered to cut through the fears and excuses that threaten to hold you back. By intentionally noticing your thoughts and questioning the counterproductive ones, you will cultivate an optimistic thinking style that will propel you to the next level.

FOUR QUESTIONS
TO CONQUER EXCUSES

What’s the reason you have for not pursuing your most authentic dream? Whatever that dream is in your life or career, you probably have a reason it hasn’t happened yet. But if you look behind the reasons, you might just discover that they could be reclassified as excuses—thoughts you are embracing that sabotage your dreams. Excuses are born of a pessimistic thinking style and fixed mindset. Now, I’m not trying to beat you up about your excuses. I want to help you break free of them so you can go to the next level. Whatever you want to call them—excuses or reasons—they’re in the way. And you are the only one who can demand they go.

So what’s your excuse? Is it a lack of time? Money? Is it that person who is always tearing you down? Is the dream just too hard? Too complex? Too much of a commitment? Maybe your excuse is a lack of education or experience. Or perhaps if you just had more contacts or more friends or fewer obligations or weighed less or…

You get my point. Excuses allow us to justify our lack of progress. They can even bring you sympathy. They let you off the hook. But the truth is, when there is something you were meant to do, you’ll never truly be off the hook. You must do it, which means you must let go of your excuses. That means facing your fear—whether it is fear of success and all the expectations that come with it or fear of failure and all the disappointment or embarrassment that come with it.

Whatever your fear, the good news is that you can muster the courage to conquer it. Choose to let go of all excuses for why you cannot have what you want in life. Coach yourself with these four excuse-shattering questions:

1. What’s my excuse?

2. What does this excuse give me permission to do
(or not do)?

3. If I could no longer use this excuse, what would
I have to do instead?

4. Why don’t I just do that now?

When you drop your excuses, you discover that the bottom line is you can choose to pursue your dreams—or not. You can live life fully or you can live it small. Living fully takes courage. Courage is a choice. The choice is yours.

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING FOR?

What is it that you are hoping for? What’s that thing that caused you to pick up this book in the first place? There is something you haven’t yet experienced, but want to. There is something that represents that gap between where you are right now and where you want to be. And the first step to you closing that gap is believing two simple words: It’s possible. Just say that out loud right now: “It’s possible.” Your dream is possible. With the right thoughts, the right actions, and the right relationships, whatever divine dreams rest in your heart are possible.

So as you begin this journey, this first step is about hope. You must have it. Hope is the foundation of faith and the essence of optimism. When you stop hoping, you start settling. As I coach women in particular, and as I reflect on my own personal experience, I have noticed how often people downsize their dreams. Women so often attempt to juggle multiple roles and responsibilities. Many downsize their dreams for so long that settling for less becomes a habit. Can you relate? When you stop hoping, you start settling. You begin to settle for a smaller version of your real vision. What have you stopped hoping for out of fear that you won’t get it? In what ways has “settling” crept in and buried a hope for something better?

Give yourself permission to hope again. To dream a bigger dream. Successful women are confident enough to dream authentic dreams. It means you have to be honest enough with yourself to acknowledge the real desires of your heart. No time for surface goals. No time for putting everyone else’s agenda ahead of God’s plan for you. Be bold and courageous about what you are hoping for. I’m asking you to stretch and see beyond your current circumstances and resources. Reach toward the heavens and trust that although your divine destiny lies beyond your reach, God can close that gap by meeting you more than halfway. It’s that kind of believing that requires faith.

As life brings disappointment or failures, it can be tempting to stop hoping for some of the things you truly want. If you’re not hoping for anything, you don’t need faith. So what is it that you need to start hoping for? What is it that you’ve hesitated to admit is the real vision for your life? I believe you are reading these words because now is the time to start dreaming bigger. Now is the time for a new season of confidence and passion and purpose.

I dare you to dream a bigger dream, and refuse to give up hope.

I’m not talking about cherishing false expectations that set you up for heartache and disappointment. I’m talking about renewing the goals, desires, and visions that speak to you deep within your spirit. Hope energizes you. It inspires. It motivates. Sometimes you don’t get what you hope for right when you want it, but if you stop hoping altogether, you cease to take the actions that will bring your dreams to life. Perhaps author Joyce Meyer summed it up best: “I feel that if I believe for a lot and get even half of it, I am better off than I would be to believe for nothing and get all of nothing.”

Be true to your desires by giving yourself permission to hope for something more. And most importantly, believe you can do it. Believing that you have what it takes is the first habit of success.

YOUR BEST POSSIBLE FUTURE SELF

Research indicates that imagining your best possible future self is a powerful exercise. Much of the thrill of changing your mindset to move to a new level of success is becoming the kind of woman who can break through fears, navigate obstacles, and believe that with God all things are possible. All things are possible. You don’t have to know how. But you do have to believe. That’s hope. That’s optimism. Starting today, make it your goal to cultivate optimism as a success strategy.

Every Woman Should Know

 Optimists live longer, on average, than pessimists—by as much as nine years.

 Depression has been described as the “ultimate pessimism.” Women with an optimistic thinking style tend to fend off depression when bad events occur. The opposite is true for those with a pessimistic thinking style.

 In career fields such as teaching, sales, litigation, and public relations, optimism is a predictor of success.

PERSONAL COACHING TOOLKIT: POWER QUESTIONS TO ENHANCE YOUR THINKING STYLE

Answer each of these questions in a journal or with a coach or friend who can listen objectively and give you the space to explore your answers without attempting to give you the answers.

1. Spend some time in meditation. The perfect dream for you is the one God uniquely equipped you for. Paint a picture of what the next level of success looks like for you. What is your real dream (not the downsized one)?

2. What would it mean to you to be able to accomplish that dream? Picture yourself living that vision. What does it feel like?

3. What gifts, talents, passions, or experiences will you draw on to reach your goal?

4. Think back to a time when you were at your best and reached a particularly meaningful goal. How did you do it? What did you learn about yourself ?

5. Consider that meaningful goal you described in the last question. What enabled you to be at your best? Who were the people, circumstances, and other key factors surrounding your success?

6. How could you go about recreating similar circumstances to empower you to reach that “next level of success” you described in the first question?

7. Think back to a time when you failed to reach a goal. What personal factor(s) led you to fail? What external factor(s) led you to fail? What lesson(s) can you glean from these contributing factors to help you succeed when reaching future goals?

8. Realistically, when you look at the picture you painted in the first question, what are the most significant obstacles you might face? If you don’t know, take a look at role models who have already been where you aim to go and pinpoint the obstacles they faced.

9. How can you reduce the risk of those obstacles occurring as you move forward? How will you navigate around those obstacles if they occur?

10. Describe your best possible future self. Who is she and how does she approach life?

Think Differently

Be intentional about what you say to yourself when you fail as well as when you succeed. Choose hope. Dream big. Learn new skills. Believe all things are possible.

My thoughts:

I actually don't remember requesting this book from FIRST, but since I did receive a copy, I decided to post the FIRST Wild Card Tour post... I don't plan on posting a review.

Weekend Report (20) and Giveaway Winner!

2012-03-09T00:00:00.000-06:00

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Weekend Report is where I share what I accomplished (book-wise) the previous week! Feel free to join along and post your own Weekend Report on your blog/site. If you do, please leave the URL in a comment below.

What I'm currently reading:

About Prize of My Heart:

Massachusetts, 1815.
Will His Love Endure Once He Learns Her Secret?

Three years ago, Captain Brogan Talvis's late wife abandoned their son, leaving no clue as to the boy's whereabouts. After searching relentlessly, Brogan discovers his son was adopted by a New England shipbuilder. And the man's daughter, Lorena Huntley, acts as loving guardian to the child.

Lorena, who hides a dark truth, finds herself falling for the handsome captain and ex-privateer who's come to secure ownership of one of her father's ships. She's unaware of Brogan's own secret when another's deceit has her sailing toward Europe against her will.

Haunted by thoughts of Lorena in peril, Brogan is compelled to choose between the boy he longs for and the woman who has captured his heart.

My thoughts:

I'm not that far in this book yet, but the story seems like it will be great! I'm wondering what Lorena's secret'll be...

What I've read this week:

My thoughts:

All of these books were good, but my favorite would most definitely be Bourne! I absolutely loved that book and can hardly wait for the next River of Time novel (or novella)!! :D

What I plan on reading soon:

About Before the Scarlet Dawn:

In 1775, Hayward Morgan, a young gentleman destined to inherit his father’s estate in Derbyshire, England, captures the heart of the local vicar’s daughter, Eliza Bloome. Her dark beauty and spirited ways are not enough to win him, due to her station in life.

Circumstances throw Eliza in Hayward’s path, and they flee to America to escape the family conflicts. But as war looms, it's a temporary reprieve. Hayward joins the revolutionary forces and what follows is a struggle for survival, a test of faith, and the quest to find lasting love in an unforgiving wilderness.

My thoughts:

I think Before the Scarlet Dawn sounds great! I am looking forward to reading it! :D

About Far From Here:

How long do you hold on to hope?

Danica Greene has always hated flying, so it was almost laughable that the boy of her dreams was a pilot. She married him anyway and together, she and Etsell settled into a life where love really did seem to conquer all. Danica is firmly rooted on the ground in Blackhawk, the small town in northern Iowa where they grew up, and the wide slashes of sky that stretch endlessly across the prairie seem more than enough for Etsell. But when the opportunity to spend three weeks in Alaska helping a pilot friend presents itself, Etsell accepts and their idyllic world is turned upside down. It’s his dream, he reveals, and Danica knows that she can’t stand in the way. Ell is on his last flight before heading home when his plane mysteriously vanishes shortly after takeoff, leaving Danica in a free fall. Etsell is gone, but what exactly does gone mean? Is she a widow? An abandoned wife? Or will Etsell find his way home to her? Danica is forced to search for the truth in her marriage and treks to Alaska to grapple with the unanswerable questions about her husband’s mysterious disappearance. But when she learns that Ell wasn’t flying alone and that a woman is missing, too, the bits and pieces of the careful life that she had constructed for them in Iowa take to the wind. A story of love and loss, and ultimately starting over, Far From Here explores the dynamics of intimacy and the potentially devastating consequences of the little white lies we tell the ones we love.

My thoughts:

I'm kinda cautious about reading this book. I heard that there is some bad language in it (after I already got it for review) and now I'm a little less excited about reading it... Hopefully there isn't too many curse words.

Reviews posted this week:

Heart's Safe Passage by Laurie Alice Eakes

Bourne (River of Time 3.1 Novella) by Lisa Tawn Bergren

Current Giveaways!

Enter to win Frantic by Mike Dellosso! US and Canada only. Enter here.

Enter to win A Bride's Portrait of Dodge City, Kansas by Erica Vetsch ~ US only. Enter here.

Giveaway winner!

The winner of The Maid of Fairbourne Hall is...

Liz R

Congratulations!! :D

So that's what I accomplished (book-wise) this week, what about you?

Review: Bourne (River of Time 3.1 Novella) by Lisa Tawn Bergren

2012-03-08T19:57:00.000-06:00

Bourne (River of Time 3.1 Novella) by Lisa Tawn Bergren

Available in eBook format only

Amazon / B&N / Goodreads / Smashwords

About the book (via Goodreads):

The River of Time Series--a Top 10 Pick for over 20 YA book bloggers in 2011! If you like romance, adventure and a dose of medieval Italian culture, you'll love WATERFALL (book 1), CASCADE (book 2) and TORRENT (book 3). Hint: They’re not just for teenagers.

BOURNE, a novella (1/3 the length of a normal novel), picks up right where TORRENT left off...Find out what has happened to men returning from the battle, gravely wounded, to the Betarrinis, fighting for the men they love, and just who is hunting them next...

My rating:

My thoughts:

I was so happy when I heard that Lisa Bergren decided to write more River of Time books! I had thought that Torrent was the end, but thankfully I was wrong! I think Bourne might actually be my favorite in the series and that's saying something considering they're all favorites of mine! :D

I loved how there was a lot of Lia and Luca's story (they are my favorite characters) in Bourne. I also really enjoyed how the story's point-of-view changed from Gabi to Lia throughout - it was great getting to see what each sister was thinking.

Bourne is a short novella (about 120 pages), but it didn't seem that short when I was reading it. Right away my emotions were caught when I learned that Marcello had been injured and from there it was just an emotional roller coaster.

While Bourne would probably be great on it's own, I do recommend first reading Waterfall, Cascade, and Torrent. If you enjoy YA, fantasy, and/or romance novels, I think you'll love the River of Time series!

I loved every part of Bourne! I am happily (and somewhat impatiently) waiting for the next River of Time release from Lisa Bergren!

I received a complimentary pdf copy of this book from the author for my review. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.*

"Waiting on" Wednesday - A Flight of Fancy (The Daughters of Bainbridge House #2) by Laurie Alice Eakes

2012-03-07T00:00:00.000-06:00

Hosted by Breaking the Spine.

"Waiting On" Wednesday is a weekly event that spotlights upcoming releases that we're

eagerly anticipating.

This week's pre-publication "can't-wait-to-read" selection is:

A Flight of Fancy (The Daughters of Bainbridge House #2)

by Laurie Alice Eakes

Revell ~ October, 2012

About the book:

Cassandra Bainbridge has twice set aside her scholarly pursuits--once for the London Season and once for her wedding preparations. Love seems a wonderful alternative to study, until disaster strikes. When an accident brings an end to her betrothal, she heads for the country to recover from both her injuries and her broken heart. There she pursues her love for ballooning and envisions a future for herself as a daring aeronaut. But when her former fiancé slips back into her life, what course will she choose?

Filled with the mystique of London society and the charming beauty of the English countryside, A Flight of Fancy explores what it means to find the true source of happiness and love amid the distractions of life. Readers will love the next installment in this rousing Regency series from accomplished author Laurie Alice Eakes.

~

I loved the first book in The Daughters of Bainbridge House series, Necessary Deception, and I am so looking forward to reading A Flight of Fancy! It sounds great to me! :D

Interview and Giveaway! Erica Vetsch ~ Author of A Bride's Portrait of Dodge City, Kansas

2012-03-06T00:00:00.001-06:00

Welcome to Christian Bookshelf Reviews, Erica!! Will you tell us a little about yourself?

Here's my author bio. It's the most succinct way to tell you about me: Erica Vetsch is a transplanted Kansan now residing in Minnesota. She loves history and reading, and is blessed to be able to combine the two by writing historical fiction set in the American West. Whenever she’s not following flights of fancy in her fictional world, she’s the company bookkeeper for the family lumber business, mother of two terrific teens, wife to a man who is her total opposite and soul-mate, and avid museum patron.

What is A Bride's Portrait of Dodge City, Kansas about?

Hoping to leave the shadows of her shady yesteryears behind, Adeline Reid is focusing on her photography career. But when her ex-boyfriend’s compatriot in crime shows up in Dodge City her entire past is threatened by exposure. Can Addie keep her secrets while helping to catch a killer? Deputy Miles Carr’s investigation into a shopkeeper’s murder leads him to Addie’s door. Will his attraction to this female photographer keep him from catching the true culprit? Or will Addie lead him off course in more ways than one?

What's something the average reader wouldn't know about you?

I love to watch cooking shows, but I don't like to cook at all! I think I like watching the techniques, and I certainly love learning the vocabulary, but I don't enjoy the stress of trying to get everything to turn out like it should.

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?

I think somewhere deep down, I always wanted to write. I love words, reading, stories, jargon, communication. I love books. From the time I nearly wore out my copy of Little House On the Prairie, I've wanted to write historical fiction. I wrote my first story when I was 15, but ever since I can remember, I've spun stories in my head.

What would you say is the best and/or worst part of being a writer?

I'd be hard-pressed to narrow down the best thing about being a writer. I get to live inside my head and put together words that express the story I want to create. I love hearing from readers who have enjoyed my stories. I love the amazing people I've met, from fellow authors to editors to bookstore personnel. As to the worst part about being a writer? Probably the waiting. I'm not great at waiting, and things seem to take a long time in publishing. Though I am good at distracting myself with another story, so the wait doesn't seem as long.

What do you like to do when you're not writing?

Reading, watching movies, watching sports, hanging with my family, and at the moment, assembling a quilt.

Do you have a favorite song and/or movie?

My favorite hymn is Day By Day. I've loved it since I was a child. My favorite movie is El Dorado with John Wayne and Robert Mitchum. I could watch that movie a hundred times...oh, wait, I have!

Do you have a favorite Bible verse?

Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not, for I am with thee. Be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee, yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Are you currently working on any new novels?

I am. My current project is another "Bride" book for Barbour. A Bride Sews With Love in Needles, CA. It's a World War One novel about a Harvey Girl who wants to do big things for the war effort, and a man who the town thinks is too cowardly to enlist, but who isn't above profiting from a war he won't fight in. The story is scheduled to release in November, just in time for Remembrance Day.

Thanks for being here!

Thank you so much, Melanie.

Where can we find you on the web?

Find Me On Facebook

Find Me On Twitter

Find My Blog

Book Giveaway!!

Enter to win a copy of A Bride's Portrait of Dodge City, Kansas! This giveaway is only open to US residents.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I've Been Tagged! Who Will Be Tagged Next?

2012-03-05T00:00:00.000-06:00

I was tagged earlier by Eve from Essence of Eve! Thanks, Eve! :D

Here are the rules:

If you are tagged, post 11 random things about yourself. Answer the questions I (the tagger) asked you, then create 11 new questions for the people you tag, and go to their blog and let them know they've been tagged.

11 Random things about me:

Hmm, I have to think of eleven things?? I'll try...

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1. I love getting packages in the mail! I get the same excited feeling opening them as I did opening presents as a child... alright, as I still get opening presents - who wouldn't get excited about receiving a gift?! :)

2. I prefer glasses over contacts... I very rarely wear contacts (at least recently) because they annoy me. :O

3. I love wearing skirts! Particularly in the summer.

4. I love the look of Victorian houses, I just think they are so pretty! :)

5. I've tried writing novels (and probably will continue to), but I can't seem to write that much. I really admire authors for all the work they put into their writing.

6. I love (vegan) Root Beer Floats! I find them so delicious!

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7. I don't care all that much for fireworks... they're pretty, but SO LOUD! :(

8. I am so looking forward to when watermelons are back in season - I love them! :)

9. I can't believe the NHL playoffs start in a little over a month! :)

10. One of my favorite things about Leap Day this year was Psych's winter premier! :)

11. I will occasionally say "Wait for it..." or some other Psych reference out of the blue. I just LOVE that show! :D

And now for the questions Eve asked:

1. If you could meet with any fictional character ever, who would it be?

I have no idea... I'm not one who wishes to meet someone... maybe Luca, Gabi, Lia, and Marcello from Lisa Bergren's River of Time series?

2. If you were offered a vacation to Middle Earth (or another favourite fictional world/place) in exchange for carrying a whole bag full of all kinds of creepy crawlies, five miles on foot, would you do it? (sorry. I know I'm being mean here ;P)

You know, there really isn't any fictional place I would want to visit... so, no, I wouldn't! :D

3. What's your favourite band and/or favourite musician?

My favorite musician would probably be Brandon Heath - I absolutely love his songs! :)
My favorite band... that is really tough... I LOVE Tenth Avenue North, Thousand Foot Krutch, Addison Road, Anthem Lights, and FM Static... plus many others - I can't just choose one! :)

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4. If you could have anything, ANYTHING, what would it be? (only one thing. wishing for 1000 wishes isn't valid.)

Season Tickets to my favorite hockey team (The Blackhawks)! It's one of my dreams to go to a NHL game and that would be soooooo cool!!!

5. Have you ever dreamed of meeting one or more of your internet friends? If so, who where they, and what did you do when you met (if you remember, of course)?

I think it would be fun to meet some of my blogging friends, but I don't think I've ever dreamt about meeting any of them.

6. What are the top five best books (or book series) you've ever read?

Books:

Corridor by Robin Parrish
Abomination by Colleen Coble
Vigilante by Robin Parrish
BoneMan's Daughter by Ted Dekker
Skin by Ted Dekker

Series:

The River of Time series by Lisa Bergren!
Patrick Bowers Files by Steven James!!
The Kincaid Brides by Mary Connealy
The Million Dollar Mysteries by Mindy Starns Clark
Riley Covington Series by Jason Elam and Steve Yohn (I really shouldn't list this one, because I loved/hated that last book... :( Read it and you'll know why!)

7. Can you do a standing bridge?

I don't know... I'll go see!... Nope. Definitely not.

8. What's your favourite quote (or one of your favourites)?

I don't actually have a favorite quote, but I looked through Goodreads and I love this one:

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” ― C.S. Lewis

9. How often do you listen to music (i.e. every day, every week, several times a month, etc.)?

Pretty much everyday! I love my iPod! :D

10. What's your favourite song?

There are so many songs that I love... I can't just name one favorite! :) I love Beloved by Tenth Avenue North, You Are More by Tenth Avenue North, Your Love by Brandon Heath, Already Home by Thousand Foot Krutch...I think that's enough to mention.

11. The weirdest, most embarrassing thing you remember doing/thinking/believing as a little kid:

I remember being tricked into thinking Santa Clause was real when I was young! I'm not going to go into the specifics, but it's really silly. :P

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12. Quick! What's the first thing that pops into your head when you think of the colour blue?

A pool! I love summer for that reason. I'm hoping this summer will be warm/hot (but not TOO hot). :)

Hey, Eve! You asked 12 questions... lol! :D

My questions for you:

1. Are you a night-owl or early-bird?

2. If you were going to go on vacation and could only travel via airplane or ship, which would you choose?

3. Name your favorite holiday?

4. Do you watch any reality shows? If so, which ones?

5. What is your favorite genre to read and what was the last book in that genre you've read?

6. Which do you prefer - a snowstorm or thunderstorm?

7. If you could travel to any country, which would it be?

8. What are the five songs you listen to the most?

9. Do you have any phobias?

10. Who are your top three favorite authors?

11. If you were stuck on an abandoned island for one year and could take five fiction books with you, what would they be?

Here's who I'm tagging:

Abbi ~ Christian Novels
Amber ~ SEASONS OF HUMILITY
Charity ~ Austenitis
Courtney ~ The Christian Music Junkie
Crystal ~ MY READING ROOM
Kara ~ My Thoughts and Book Reviews
Laura ~ Librarian Laura's Book Reviews
Lisa ~ Lisa Tawn Bergren
Megan ~ Hardcover Feedback
The Book Blogger ~ INSIDE AND IN BETWEEN
Wendy ~ Wall-to-Wall Books

What did you think of this post?

Review: Heart's Safe Passage by Laurie Alice Eakes

2012-03-03T17:32:00.003-06:00

Heart's Safe Passage by Laurie Alice Eakes

The Midwives Series - Book Two

Revell - February, 2012

Amazon / Christianbook / Goodreads

About the book:

One woman takes the treacherous journey toward redemption . . . and love.

All Phoebe Lee wants out of life is to practice midwifery in Loudon County, Virginia. But when she refuses to accompany her pregnant sister-in-law to help save her husband from an English prison during the War of 1812, Phoebe finds herself pressed aboard a British privateer.

Captain Rafe Docherty promises to get Phoebe's brother-in-law out of prison in exchange for information Rafe needs to exact revenge on the man who destroyed his family. As he realizes his attraction to Phoebe, she determines to get ashore before her patient goes into labor--and before her own heart is in danger. But an enemy in their midst threatens to end their plans--and their very lives.

My rating:

My thoughts:

Heart's Safe Passage is book two in Laurie Alice Eake's "The Midwives" series, and since I haven't read A Lady in the Mist yet, I hoped this book would be good on it's own - it was!

The story was engaging from the beginning when Phoebe refuses to travel with Belinda (her sister-in-law) on a British privateer during war, but she is then taken against her will to the ship (oh, I mean Brig).

Heart's Safe Passage had a lot of action/danger with ships fighting, attempted murder, and a man seeking justice/revenge for the death of his wife. Include the romance story between Rafe & Phoebe and I don't think there was ever a dull moment.

I'm not great with understanding pirate/sailor talk, so a few times some of the words were confusing, but it did make the story more believable.

Overall, another great read from Laurie Alice Eakes! I look forward to reading more of her novels in the future, because the two that I have read were absolutely wonderful! I recommend Heart's Safe Passage if you enjoy historical romances or books with sailors/ships!

*I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for my review. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.*

“Available February 2012 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.”

Was my review helpful? If so, please click yes on Amazon. :D