I’ll come right out and say it…

I think men can and should do more to understand the woman they’re with.

There are all kinds of amazing “layers” that can be peeled back and opened up in a woman, and in a relationship, if a man is confident, loving and willing to look and listen for a woman’s deeper feelings.

For a man, this is a kind of skill and “practice” that often doesn’t come up until later in his life and higher levels of maturity. Yet the strange part is that when a man starts to be this way, he quickly man grows into a stronger, more confident, more mature man for doing so.

One of the surest ways for a man to grow is by finding greater levels of understanding in the women in his life. There he’ll learn things he probably wouldn’t have otherwise.

Knowing that, I want to share with you some important things you should know about understanding men.

But before I share tips and insights about men, there’s an important question that needs to be asked.

Which is…

Why should you have to try so hard with a man if he doesn’t see what you’re worth?

It’s a great question.

If you’ve asked yourself this question in your head, give me a silent nod. But really, think about it…

After all the time and energy you’ve put into thinking about your relationship, shouldn’t he be doing more so you don’t have to try and carry your relationship on your own 2 shoulders?

Yes, he should.

Your man should be giving you more understanding. That’s one of the reasons for being in a relationship in the first place: to help each partner understand themselves better, and support each other in this by genuinely seeking to understand the other.

But not every relationship rises to this level of generosity and caring.

Here’s the thing…

When you’re in a relationship where you’re not getting much understanding from your man, there are 2 common “traps” women often fall into that prevent much understanding from taking place.

Here are the 2 most dangerous “traps” you need to know about so you can avoid them in your relationship:

Understanding Men Trap #1: Filling The Void

Trap #1 is what I call “filling the void.”

Have you been in a relationship with a man who’s distant and emotionally unavailable? If so, you’ve probably found yourself trying more and more to connect with him and keep things together.

First… what happens is that the farther he drifts away, the more you pull on him.

And then… the more energy you put into the relationship and towards reconnecting with him – the less energy he seems to give back. But seeing how he’s less engaged only leads you to giving more and trying harder.

It becomes a repetitive cycle of frustration with you trying harder, and getting less back. Yet you continue on.

But why, if you aren’t getting the response you want and a man keeps pulling away, do you keep trying?

If you’ve found yourself in this situation, somewhere deep down inside you’ve probably feared that if you didn’t “fill the void” between you and the man, you and he would completely drift apart and become permanently disconnected.

The strange part is, you “filling the void” quickly becomes a pattern that keeps you frustrated and only leads to more distance between you and your guy.

There’s a better way.

*Hint – if you want to start RECEIVING more from your man, you have to stop trying to GIVE all the time.

Understanding Men Trap #2: Speaking For Him

I want you to try a quick exercise…

I want you to think back to a time when you were with a man and he wasn’t being communicative or open with you. He wasn’t sharing his feelings, and you were wondering what was going on with him.

Once you have this situation form the past in mind, I want you to remember the feelings you felt at that time. This is going to help you recall what you experienced on an emotional level.

Now that you remember those feelings, I want you to think back to what your thoughts were about the man in your life. Since he was distant and not sharing with you, I want you to recall what it was that you were thinking about him and what he might be feeling?

What did you believe was going on for him? What did you believe was on his mind? What did you believe he was feeling about you or your relationship?

Were the thoughts you had and the things you believed he was thinking and feeling POSITIVE things?

Or were they largely NEGATIVE?

You probably get where I’m going with this.

The reality is that once you felt distant and disconnected from your man, you started putting thoughts and feelings that you believed he was feeling into his head. You started “speaking for him.”

Speaking for your partner is a sure way to make communication and finding understanding in your relationship hard, if not impossible.

But what’s worse is believing and assuming all kinds of negative things about your partner, about what they’re thinking and about your relationship.

This is one of the most destructive “traps” you can fall into in a relationship. It only leads to negative interactions and conflict. Not understanding and connection.

Tips For Understanding Men

Now that you’re aware of the 2 big traps you might be falling into with men, make sure you avoid them.

Being conscious of your own behavior with men and seeing what’s preventing you both from being more open and understanding with each other can make your love life much easier.

It will let you create more situations where your man will give you the listening and the understanding, and your relationship will thrive. You’ll get more of what you want.

Another great way to start receiving more from your man, and get more of his understanding, is by knowing the other critical things that men want with the woman they love.

The amazing part is… knowing the ways to a man’s heart is also the toughest half of creating the relationship you deserve. Once you “get” this, the relationship you’ve always wanted can finally feel effortless and free-flowing.

To find out what your man honestly needs to fall desperately in love with you, and stay in love… then you need to go read this…

Inside The Mind Of A Man

At this link is a page filled with some of my best insights and tips that have already helped thousands of women finally experience the level of connection and understanding they want from their man – and has made getting to this place in their relationship finally easy by doing some of the simple things that INSPIRE a man to want to understand you more and more.

Again, I’d recommend reading Inside The Mind Of A Man.

I’ll leave you with this thought…

Are you creating closeness and connection through the things you think about, and in the way you talk?

Or are you questioning, blaming, and waiting for the other shoe to drop and expecting the worst? (keeping yourself on edge and being “disconnected” yourself)

The answer has everything to do with how people feel around you, and respond to you. And that goes for everyone in your life- not just men.

I’ll talk with you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Christian

Did you know that a man can be turned on and grow closer to you through the process of you sharing even your worst hurt feelings?

It’s true. Even your most hurt feelings have the potential to bring more truth and honesty to your relationship, and attract a man to you on an even deeper emotional level.

But only if you know how…

Couples who know how to do this are brought CLOSER and find higher and higher levels of love and understanding with each other not because they passively “accept” one another… but because they are extremely honest with how they’re feeling.

They are unusually honest with their feelings- allowing them to be more authentic and present with each other than many other couples.

This is a part of the secret that keeps them close and connected, even if it looks to be harder in the short term.

But you should know…

There’s more to what I’m talking about than just sharing your feelings.

If all this sounds strange to you and you don’t have a relationship with this kind of communication and honest… it might be that you’ve experienced the opposite-

When you share your hurt or “negative” feelings with a man, you might find that he withdraws or shuts off. In fact, for you it’s just put more distance between you in the relationship. You might find that men don’t listen.

Has this been a communication pattern you find in your relationships with men? Is this the process you seem to follow?

• He does something to hurt your feelings
• It hurts your feelings and he doesn’t recognize it or respond
• You don’t know how to share your feelings
• You become more frustrated that sharing and being understood has to be hard
• You finally share your feelings after bottling them up
• It doesn’t go well. He withdraws or gets irritated

Recognize anything in this pattern for you?

If you do, and you haven’t been able to find the level of love and understanding you want… it’s time to take a good hard look at the kind of communication that’s being created in your relationships.

To help you with that, there are 3 steps for good communication that every relationship MUST HAVE, and every partner must have in the relationship, if there’s going to be the kind of communication that brings you CLOSER.

Here they are…

The 3 Steps For Sharing Your Feelings

Step 1: Accept Your Own Feelings

Lots of women don’t recognize it, but as much as they’re frustrated with men for being distant and not opening up…

Lots of women end up doing the exact same thing out of frustration when their man isn’t communicating…

They hold on to their hurt feelings.

They don’t share what their truly thinking and feeling.

And they respond and react negatively to what might otherwise be little things because they’re holding on to some feelings about something in the past. (By the way- this is exactly what NOT being present looks like)

Withholding your feelings because your partner is withholding their feelings only creates more problems in a relationship.

Regardless of who did what first, you have the power to transform your life and your relationship by being truthful with your feelings.

When you take a moment to accept your own feelings, and not stuff them down inside for fear of what problems they might bring up… you move one step closer to a more honest and loving relationship.

When you take the time to accept and recognize your own feelings, you become a better partner in your relationship. A more honest one who’s more capable of being present.

Step 2: Share What You Feel, Not Who’s To Blame

There’s a mistake many people make once they start to feel their feelings more and try and communicate more openly in their relationship.

The mistake is that they accidentally share their feelings in a way that creates BLAME for what they’re feeling.

Instead of explaining the difference between Sharing and Blame, I’ll give you several examples…

Sharing what you feel and blaming someone are two separate things. Sharing what you feel means being able to admit that your feelings were hurt, and how you are vulnerable.

Blaming someone means telling someone that they did something bad to you, and going on to tell them what it must mean about them and what’s wrong with them.

Sharing what you feel means not taking sides against your partner, and instead simply asking them to listen to you.

Blaming someone means you becoming Right and your partner becoming Wrong, and showing your frustration with them that they don’t understand you as much as you need them to- and subtly punishing them for it as you talk.

Sharing your feelings means opening up and looking to find the things that still mean you love each other.

Blaming someone means creating distance between you and disconnecting yourself from everything good, and instead focusing on all the things that are wrong with your partner.

Are you starting to see the difference?

Good.

Step 3: Ask For What You Want

When you accept your feelings, and you share your feelings without blame… you start to recognize that there’s something else that’s important that you can and should do in your relationship.

And that is…

You should start to become less aware of what you DON’T WANT and start to think and ask for what you DO WANT.

This might sound like a small thing, but for most of us in relationships it’s HUGE.

If you can take time when you don’t get what you want to also reflect and come to understand more about what you DO WANT… you’ve grown in your relationship.

When you take the next step of actually telling your partner (without blame) what it is you’d like… your relationship grows even more.

You might not realize it, but it’s surprisingly rare for you to come into a situation that has the potential to push your buttons, and instead of fighting against what we fear or are hurt by- embracing what it is that you love and cherish.

Every moment you speak to your partner you are making CHOICES.

You can either stay Unconscious of your choices, and continue contributing less productive and lower “energy” to your relationship by blaming, going on about what you don’t want and taking sides in your relationship.

Or… you can choose to remember your intention and reason for being in a relationship in the first place-

To love your partner, and be loved. And then communicate from your deeper values of what it is you do want, and align your actions and your communication with the love and understanding you want to share in a relationship in the first place.

A Final Thought On Loving Communication…

The secret power of Emotions in relationships is NOT to learn how to suppress them, or make it so that you no longer feel your feelings.

The secret power of Emotions is to find comfort and acceptance of your own feelings so that you have the confidence to reveal your feelings WITHOUT BLAME.

When you do this, your emotions (even the seemingly negative ones that might have pushed men away in the past) can become the glue that bonds you and a man together.

If you’re going to be truly close with a man, and you want a relationship of honesty… then you’ve got to share your feelings.

The 3 Steps I showed you will allow you to transform your emotions into powerful opportunities to connect with a man.

But only if you create that “shift” in the way you communicate your feelings so that they serve you and your relationship.

It’s been said that “Communication is the response you get.”

Think about the response your getting when you share your feelings.

Being able to speak is the easy part anyone can manage. Being able to create more truth and awareness with your communication is the next level in your relationship.

Are you ready to start creating more truth, connection and awareness in your relationship?

If you’re wanting to become a healthy communicator and create the kind of connected and secure relationship that’s only possible when you and a man can truly open up with each other, I strongly recommend you check out my Communication Secrets program.

If you’re having relationship problems that seem to be about more than just communication, then you need to first know how to build a solid FOUNDATION for a relationship in the first place. In this case, you need to check out Relationship Turn-Around.

I’ll talk with you again soon and best of luck in Life and Love.

Christian

I’m going to share the 3 mistakes men most often make that prevent them from being better listeners in relationships… and how to talk to a man and get him to really listen and respond thoughtfully to you.

First, I need to share something important with you…

It’s something both Women and Men must remember if they’re going to move past the everyday kind of relationship and into a true loving partnership based on MUTUAL FULFILLMENT and a life of growth and expansion together.

Here’s the thing…

You, and only you, are the Creator of your Love Life.

As the Creator, you have total freedom and complete control to choose how you deal with and respond to each situation – positive or negative.

While it might seem like men, relationships and the situations that come up have control or power over you… this doesn’t have to be the case.

Only if you let it.

If you hold in your heart feelings of love and appreciation that are greater than any passing moment, you’ll very often be able to break free of the everyday ups-and-downs and find a deeper level of “connected-ness” with the man in your life.

In fact, doing this will not only rise your relationship to a higher level, it can even call your guy up to a higher level with you.

In case you didn’t know… Love and the many positive sensations and gifts that come with it are CONTAGIOUS. Just like the simple power of a smile.

How Do You Talk To A Man?

Knowing that you are the Creator of your Love Life, let me ask you…

How do you talk to a man when your feelings are hurt or something seems “off” in your relationship?

How do you share your feelings with a man so that he not only listens to you, but he takes notice of what’s going on for you and supports you with what HE says and does in your relationship?

Something fascinating happens for lots of women when they go to communicate with a man…

They surrender their power as the Creator of their love life.

This happens when a woman freezes up in the moment when a feeling strikes her. As much as her goal might be to talk about it with a man and connect with him about it… in reality a woman often “disconnects” from herself and from love, and holds on to the negative feelings and keeps them quietly to herself for fear of it having a negative effect on the man.

What’s more, lots of women actually do get a bad response from men when they share their deeper feelings in these moments- which only deepens their belief that they can’t be honest with their feelings and that men will always respond negatively.

But nothing could be farther from the truth.

It might shock you to learn that men care deeply about making the woman they are with HAPPY.

However, even if a man cares about making you happy… he doesn’t always respond well to a hearing about your hurt feelings.

There are 3 mistakes men make most often in these situations that will show you why men don’t listen.

The 3 Reasons Why Men Don’t Listen

Reason #1: He doesn’t listen because he AVOIDS your feelings.

Reason #2: He doesn’t listen because he’s genuinely OBLIVIOUS.

Reason #3: He doesn’t listen because as soon as he hears you, he tries to FIX IT and doesn’t end up responding to what was really going on in the first place.

Knowing that these are the most common mistakes men make in trying to listen and communicate with you about your feelings can help if you keep them in mind.

How can you have a better outcome when you try to communicate with the man in your life?

What if you remembered that YOU were the Creator of your Love Life, and you remembered that just like you, a man can communicate and respond in ways that aren’t always helpful to creating what it is you’re both really seeking-

To better understand and connect with each other.

What kind of change would approaching your relationship, your communication and the man in your life this way create?

If you want to learn some of my very best insights and tips into communicating with men in relationships, I’d also recommend checking out my Communication Secrets program and loads of free tips.

You can watch some free video tips from this program and hear what other women learned from this program if you check it out.

It’s here: Communication Secrets

I’ll talk with you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Christian

First, I’ll show you the quickest way to check out my very best tips on how to attract a man.

Now, I’ll share some other tips here you should know about what creates attraction in a man in this post.

Here’s something interesting…

Do you ever wonder why some women who don’t have their “act together” still can seem to have an uncanny knack for attracting guys and keeping them hooked?

You know that it can’t just be about physical beauty, or how intelligent or “nice” they are, because that’s not always the case. Men are often intensely attracted to women who aren’t the “best person” or the best for them.

In reality, some women who really get men “hooked” are NOT the sweetest, most loving or most thoughtful women. Instead, these women seem to have a secret something that makes them totally addictive to the man they’re with.

Now, it’s important that I tell you that you can still have this “something” and be a genuinely sweet and authentic woman. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. You can be sweet and loving and generous. But the point is, what attracts a man is NOT being sweet and loving.

There’s another element to how attraction works for a man, and too many women make the unconscious mistake of assuming that attraction comes from being “nice”, so they try and do nice things to try and attract a man.

The reality is… what attracts a man is something else.

How The “Cool Woman” Attracts A Man

There are women who men refer to as “cool girls”, or “cool women”.

When men are talking and they want to let their friend know about the great woman in their life they simply say, “she’s a really cool woman.”

This is the universal male shorthand for a woman who just GETS IT when it comes to being incredible and irresistible to be around. These are the women men crave being with and staying with, as they know how to create and share that intense attraction, and keep their endlessly fascinated and wondering about them. While some women can’t seem to buy a man’s true love and loyalty… the “cool woman” literally has her man BEGGING for more of her time and attention.

I’ve spent years researching and observing exactly what this is in women with men, and how it all works… and I’ve put everything I’ve discovered about what it is that will drive a man wild for you, to where he’ll be wanting more and more from you and your relationship.

Some women have a hard time getting a man to want to ever truly commit- even after years of an amazing life shared together. While other women have their man literally down on bended knee begging to spend the rest of their life together.

What’s the difference?

The big difference in how a man is with you comes down to the level of ATTRACTION he feels for you. Either he feels it for you, or he doesn’t.

And when things aren’t working, and you can tell a man has lost that feeling for you… you can bet that he’s no longer feeling that magic emotion of ATTRACTION which is what brought you together in the first place.

The good news is that you don’t have to be a woman who was born knowing exactly what it is that creates this kind of deep and lasting attraction in your man.

In fact, triggering the kind of intense attraction in your man is actually easy, once you know how.

And what’s really easy is getting to sit back and watch as your relationship gives you more love, confidence and support than you ever imagined… all because your man is feeling so excited to stay connected to you because of the attraction he has burning inside him when he’s around you.

I want you to have this feeling, and enjoy the kind of lasting and secure relationship that can only take place when you and your man are both feeling this way with each other.

Of course, your guy should also be doing things to make sure YOU are happy and feel the love and appreciation you deserve in a relationship. If he’s not doing these things, then what I don’t suggest is simply trying the tips to attract a man I’ll show you and hope that it works.

YOUR FEELINGS are important too, and a man will sense them if you’re frustrated and feeling uncertain about him and your relationship as a result. So before you move to create attraction, you need to check in with your feelings. I’m going to write a post on that soon to make sure you and the man in your life validates your feelings as well.

But I don’t want to focus on that here. I want to focus on when you’re ready to do the things that create attraction with men and have it work for you.

Do’s & Don’t To Attract A Man

So knowing all this, what’s the secret to being irresistible in a way that can’t help but attract a man?

Let me give you some quick tips and then tell you exactly what you need to do in order to be the kind of woman a man can’t live without… not matter WHAT is going on in his life.

Let’s say there’s a man in your life you find incredibly attractive and interesting. You’ve gotten to know him a little bit and you think he’s finds you attractive, too.

You think about him all the time. You miss talking to him and seeing him when you’re not with him. You wonder what it would be like to have something real and committed with him.

As for him…he acts like he likes you too—sometimes. But in the back of your mind, you’re not completely sure he’s really that “into you.” Maybe he doesn’t call as often as you want him to, or he acts a little distant when you’re together.

What do you do in this situation?

You might do what so many women do in the same situation. They KILL their chance with the guy by doing some very UN-attractive things.

Here are some do’s and don’ts when it comes to being irresistible to a man:

Attract A Man Situation #1

WRONG WAY: Keep moving towards him and fill in any and all empty space that you sense between you. Tell him how much you like him and share all the thoughts and feelings that are racing through your mind.

BETTER WAY: Take time to enjoy the connection that you’re sharing, and don’t try and rush ahead. Do things that engage him and capture his interest, and then sit back and let him come to you a bit too. Give him time and space in your interactions to come to you with his feelings.

Attract A Man Situation #1

WRONG WAY: Kill him with kindness by complimenting him every chance you get, call him all the time, do favors for him without him even asking… and generally do whatever you can to be a special
“friend” and companion to him.

BETTER WAY: Think “playful” instead of just nice, as you don’t want to be his friend. Instead, be unpredictable and intriguing. Create tension and interest by not always doing or saying the “obvious” thing. This will keep him thinking and wondering about you, and get him doing things to get more of your time and attention.

Attract A Man Situation #1

WRONG WAY: Sleep with him in the hopes that by being close and intimate he’ll realize how much he likes you, how amazing you both are together, and want a relationship. Act and talk to him like you’re already in a serious and committed relationship, even though you’ve never talked about it. Get upset when you don’t see that he wants a relationship after you’re physical with him.

BETTER WAY: Don’t make the mistake of hoping that sex will bring him closer to you and setup your relationship. Communicate to a man that you’re SELECTIVE, and that you respect yourself more than you need a relationship.

Slow things down and be selective for your own sake, as well as for the sake of the “real” relationship you want to create.

Create not just physical but emotional experiences with him that will connect you both. He wants and needs to feel not just Physically Attraction with you, but what I call Emotional Attraction as well.

Attract A Man Physically And Emotionally

Now… if you’ve had a tough time with dating and relationships because the man seems to lose interest, fade away, get distant, stop calling or tell you he’s not into anything “serious,” then it could mean you haven’t created the kind of intense emotional attraction inside him that keeps him wanting to be with you, and only you… no matter what.

If that’s the case, then you should do yourself a BIG favor and save yourself any more wasted time and energy trying to guess what works with your man.

You can learn exactly how to create the kind of powerful and lasting attraction that makes you truly irresistible to a man by doing and saying all the things you’ll learn in my Natural & Lasting Attraction program.

In it I don’t just show you WHAT creates attraction in a man, I also show you WHY men respond to a need to feel both Physical and Emotional Attraction with you, and why there are 2 types of Attraction you want a man to feel with you.

The short reason for this is what’s called the Triune Brain. See picture below from my Natural & Lasting Attraction program.

The 2 second explanation of the Triune Brain is that our minds evolved over time in 3 main “layers” that have their own unique intelligence and way of being.

The Physical Brain: The first and oldest part of our brain is the Physical or Reptile Brain. It’s the part of our brain that’s more “automatic”, unconscious and reactive. It’s concerned with basic things like Survival behaviors.

The Emotional Brain: The second part of the brain that evolved is the Emotional or Mammalian Brain. This part of the brain deals with Sex and Attraction on a more primal “reproductive” level. We feel the deep “spark” of Physical Attraction when our Emotional Brain is triggered. Our more unconscious courtship behaviors evolved in this brain.

The Thinking Brain: The Thinking or Rational brain interacts with the Emotional Brain through the neo-cortex. This part of of the brain does the “higher” thinking and reasoning, and processes language. This part of the brain is triggered when a man feels what I call Emotional Attraction, which then also interacts with the more primal and “bonding” oriented Emotional Brain.

The Triune Brain And How To Attract A Man

The good news, you don’t need to know about all the science behind HOW and WHY attraction works, and what attracts a man. You just need to use what works.

If you’re ready to learn everything you need to know about creating not just physical attraction, but a deeper and more lasting emotional level of attraction and keep your man attracted you need to consider both what keeps you both Physically and Emotionally connected.

The best part is that this isn’t just for him. This will create a much richer and more emotionally fulfilling relationship for you as well. You just need to start tapping into both types of attraction.

And again, I also have great tips and a powerful program that has my best tips and insights on how to attract man.

Talk to you again soon and best of luck in Life and Love.

Christian

Is there a great guy you’re interested in who isn’t asking you out, or who doesn’t seem to notice you?

If you’re spinning your wheels wondering “is he interested?” then you might just want to skip all the trouble and simply get him to take notice and ask you out.

*Quick Tip: What you need to know first is that the name of the game here with a man is all about creating OPPORTUNITIES for him to approach you.

Here’s how to get his attention…

Get His Attention Using Your Body Language

Let me be honest with you and tell you something about men you may not quite get when you’re wondering how to catch the attention of a good man-

You don’t have to say anything to get a man’s attention.

I’ll explain it this way…

What causes us to feel that “spark” of interest is rarely the perfect word or phrase. More often, it’s triggered by a subtle signal. The signals we send through our body language are fascinating because they are universally understood signals, and are some of the most powerful ones that drive our behavior.

Men are very visual creatures, so it’s no surprise that they respond to body language signals or “cues.” Knowing this, it’s important to remember that if you don’t know what you’re saying with your body language, then odds are you aren’t saying the things you want to be saying.

Some fascinating studies have proven that the most effective body language signals to get a man’s attention might seem simple, but are truly powerful. Here is of the most universal that WORK when you know how to use them with confidence…

Prolonged Eye Contact

Have you ever had that magic moment where you locked eyes with a man and fell into a deep gaze. Suddenly a tingle jumped up your spine and you could tell he was feeling the same thing.

This is one of the most intense ways to create and share a moment with a man that will make him feel an emotional jolt that jump-starts his interest in you.

Just make sure you don’t make the mistake that will cause this to back-fire. Be sure to have more natural amounts of eye contact with a man first and establish a kind of comfortable “base-line.”

If you’re in the same room with a man, try and meet eyes with him once or twice before you lock eyes with him. Smile softly and look away. Then, once you know he’s noticed you, be confident in locking into eye contact and keeping your gaze fixed on him for at least 4-6 seconds. If he looks away, let him look away first and keep looking and smile gently.

Repeat this and you’ll be raising a man’s pulse and he’ll almost certainly come over and talk to you. If he doesn’t, feel free to give him a playful wave of your hand and invite him over to you. It’s an easy way to open up an opportunity for him, but not be too extended or seem desperate.

Get His Attention By Triggering His Attraction

What’s the most important thing to make a man feel if you’re looking to have his undivided attention and focus on you as a woman? While body language is powerful, the subtleties of body language are really all about trigger that magic emotion called attraction in a man.

Attraction is not something a man will feel for you just by talking to him, being his friend or having everyday conversations. Attraction is an intense emotion that comes from the unexpected.

If you make a man feel that intense attraction for you, he’ll not only notice you and pay attention… but you’ll stick in his mind and he won’t be able to stop thinking about you.

One of the keys of creating attraction with a man is Unpredictability. If a man can guess everything you do and say, and you never surprise him through your words or actions… it’s very unlikely that he’ll experience that unusual intense emotion of attraction with you. You’ll never create that “spark” in his heart and mind.

As strange as it sounds, another key to creating attraction with a man is Predictability. A man can sense whether or not a woman has a level of stability and well-being in her life from early on. If a man senses that you’re healthy emotionally and socially his interest will grow and he’ll feel more comfortable opening up and getting close to you.

A man can feel 2 types of attraction for a man. If you’d like to learn the secrets of what else you can to do and say to create what I call “Emotional Attraction” in a man that goes beyond the common Physical Attraction, then you should check this out that’s all about attraction.

Talk soon.

Christian

Something fascinating happened the other day that showed me proof of something I’ve known, but didn’t have such striking evidence of til now.

What happened was this…

A woman I know was dating this guy. They had met and immediately hit it off.

For several months they dated and got close. It really felt like a special connection, and the woman thought this could be the one.

As things started to get more serious, the man suddenly had a “shift” in his mood and behavior. Suddenly he was more withdrawn, didn’t seem as excited as before, and didn’t make plans for the future the way he did at first.

This worried the woman, but she tried to shake it off and chalked it up to him going through some challenges and stress in his career. And she was partly right.

One day when she grew tired of wondering where he was at and trying to get into his head she decided it was time to ask him what was really going on. That’s when it happened…

He gave the predictable “I’m not ready” response so many men give. He said he loved her, but he just wasn’t ready and in a place to be in a serious and committed relationship. And that was it. He was ready to move on.

But what was really going on here?

This woman knew her man loved her, and their relationship was in 99% of the ways a great relationship. So why then was it still not enough and had him wanting to be alone instead?

To address all this, I’ll start by letting you know that one of the most common topics women ask me about is: Why do men leave?

Of course, the questions come in a few flavors…

• Why do men leave or pull away after they’ve just met a great woman?
• Why do men leave when things start getting close and intimate?
• Why do men leave one woman then commit to and marry another soon after?
• Why do so many men grow restless and mess up a great thing?

Below is one email I received from L.J., a woman who seems destined to face one of these “Why men leave” scenarios if she doesn’t act soon.

I thought I’d share her issue along with my thoughts on the pleasure principle, lost feelings of attraction, co-dependence, creating an emotional experience for your man and a whole lot more.

Ok, here we go…
L.J’s Email to Me

Christian,

I have been seeing my boyfriend for a year and a half and we have a great relationship on all levels (intellectually, physically, etc).

However unfortunately we have been ‘head-bashing’ over a certain problem that keeps resurfacing in our relationship and now it has literally come to a point where he wants “time out”.

I have a problem trusting him and want to always control situations.

I have constantly been giving him nonsense when he socialises with his female friends, and have an insecurity that he will leave me.

It has been very strenuous on him and he actually told me this morning that he wants to be with me but he no longer knows what to do and wants time out of this relationship.

I finally did something right this morning when speaking to him (after reading your email newsletter on control), I listened and said that I understood.

He said we will discuss it further this evening. I am SO LOST! I don’t know what to do to fix this now, and am not sure if this is ‘fixable’.

I REALLY LOVE him and he loves me, but it has been carrying on for so long he doesn’t want to hear excuses anymore.

PLEASE HELP me. What can I do to make this work?

I will be forever grateful for your response!

L.J.

My Response

Ok, I’m going to have to pull out the hammer here because you’re doing the worst of all things – Using your fear and neediness to justify hurting yourself and pushing your guy away.

Here’s what I want you to do…

Please go to the nearest mirror, look yourself dead in the eyes, and then slap yourself hard across the cheek.

Oh, and make sure your boyfriend is watching too, so you can then turn to him, freak out and cry, and then blame him for “making you do it”.

And when he responds by saying, “But you just slapped yourself”…

I want you to freak out even more until he starts to think that something is going really and truly wrong with you.

AND THEN… I want you to get even more upset because now he thinks your crazy… and act even more crazy and emotional as you wonder, “What did I ever do to make him not want to be around me and doubt our future together?”

Once you do all this, then you should be able to recognize that this has roughly the same effect with your boyfriend as your current thinking and behavior.

Follow me here?

I’m being extreme, and I recognize that I need to be in order to make my point so that you really “get it.”

Good. Now we can move on. Let’s get down to it…

I want you to understand that your fear and jealousy is NOT going to go away, EVER, until you decide to get this part of your life handled.

The reality right now is that no matter how good your relationship with a man might be, or how much reassurance you scream and cry to try and get him to give you… it will NEVER be enough for you if you don’t start to handle your own feelings in a healthy way for yourself, and you don’t figure out how to create the kind of TRUST you want in your relationship.

I want you to hear this – these are not things your man can or should figure out for you.

These same insecure, needy, negative feelings that drive men away are going to keep coming up over and over in place after place until you are ALONE again until you, the one who is responsible for these feelings, does something about them that improves your life rather than breaking it apart.

Here are a few important questions you need to consider right now:

• How do you think all your negative emotional fears and frustrations are affecting the man in your life
• And how do these make him think and feel about you and your relationship?
• And what would he tell you and ask you for if he wasn’t afraid of freaking you out, and was open and honest?

Hint- learning to listen and understand a man’s feelings is also a huge part of creating a strong relationship that meets BOTH of your needs.

If you want to learn how to get a man to listen to you better, understand what you’re going through without getting frustrated or angry, and commit to working through it with you and opening up, then I suggest you check out my From Casual To Committed program.

It will show you how to move past RESISTANCE to growth and understanding you’re running into with men in relationships… and let you finally have the close intimacy you’ve wanted but didn’t know how to get to with a man.

If you haven’t recognized it yet, men have a natural RESISTANCE to diving into and sticking to intense emotional situations in relationships. They want to “escape” from this stuff most of the time.

It’s this natural tendency and these areas of RESISTANCE that cause conflict in relationships and lead to men to pull away or leave…. but not when you learn how to avoid triggering this kind of resistance with a man in the first place.

Now… I want you to realize a few important truths about men and the common reasons why they leave relationships with women they like or love.

(By the way, if you’re already at the place where your guy has left your relationship, then you should read this on how to get your boyfriend back.

Ok, here we go…

Why Men Leave Reason #1: The “Pleasure Principle”

Men, and women, generally want to FEEL GOOD in their lives.

And they want to have the people around them be a source of pleasure and comfort and support.

Yourself included.

When you are constantly freaking out on a man for what it is about him that freaks you out, you quickly turn into one of the people that it DOESN’T FEEL GOOD to be around.

And this has a huge impact on whether or not he wants to invest more time, effort, and energy in you and your relationship.

Or if he will decide to give up on trying to fix what’s going on with you so you can both feel good together.

Why Men Leave Reason #2: Emotional Experience And The Future

For a man in a relationship, the ways a woman acts in the “little” situations become indicators of how she’s going to respond when things really are tough and in the future.

So if a woman is consistently negative and emotional… and can’t get herself together even when a man tries to explain things and comfort her… then a man isn’t going to think that things could be any better in the future together.

Why Men Leave Reason #3: Lost Feelings Of Attraction

Love can be important to a man.

But just like a woman, if he doesn’t also keep experiencing the exciting and addictive feelings of CONNECTION and ATTRACTION with the woman he loves… then eventually EVERYTHING ELSE starts to not matter.

When a man doesn’t FEEL that deep level of connection with a woman, at least every so often to remind him of why he’s with her, then he’ll forget why… and the relationship will become just a whole bunch of “work” to him.

Whenever he thinks of his girlfriend, he’ll think of all the problems, frustrations, and negative emotions and experiences… and he’ll see a future and a commitment as something that will make him LESS SATISFIED in his life.

Often times when women are feeling distance or trouble in a relationship, they’ll try to “talk” to a man and work on “the relationship”.

Big mistake if you want to turn things around.

For a man, he wants to do things together (not talk) to know his relationship is working.

Creating a deep level of connection and sharing the attraction you have is one of the most powerful and important keys to giving a man his own reason for wanting to be with you, no matter what.

If you want to learn the secrets to easily creating or recapturing the intense attraction that will have a man asking you for more attention, then check out my Natural & Lasting Attraction program.

It will show you exactly how to get back to sharing intense Physical and Emotional Attraction, and give you the 6 keys to the kind of deep lasting attraction that will keep your relationship moving forward and strong.

Why Men Leave Reason #4: The “Neediness” of Codependence

A man wants to be with a woman that brings something better to his life, not take away his time, energy, and emotional “stability”.

So when a woman doesn’t have much going on for herself in her own life a few things happen.

First, she focuses on her relationship too much as her source of happiness or unhappiness.

You can tell when you’ve done this in your relationships in the past when you’ve said things like:

“I can’t believe how I didn’t hardly ever see any of my friends while we were together.”

…or

“I can’t believe I let him control me that way.”

…or

“I feel so stupid for wasting so much of my time on our relationship, when I could have been doing things for me and my life.”

The reality is that no man and no relationship is capable of being everything to a woman.

And no relationship requires that you sacrifice all your time, life, and energy for it…no matter how much it seems that way.

But our relationships can “trick” us into believing that they need all of our time and attention just to survive.

Not true.

In fact, the way this works is completely COUNTER-INTUITIVE.

Often times men leave a woman because they see that she depends too much on him and has lost her own sources of happiness…

…and this not only looks and feels “needy” to a man, but it keeps the woman from having much to bring into the relationship and add to their lives together.

Why Men Leave Reason #5: “She’s Trying To Fix Me…”

Every few weeks or months I come across someone who says or alludes to the idea that “people don’t change.”

Wrong.

People often change their state of mind in an instant. Especially from happy to sad.

Of course, changing perspectives, opinions, orbeliefs can take a bit longer… but these change quickly too.

A man can and will “change” and compromise for a woman.

It’s a fact.

I see it all the time where men let go of their “bachelor lifestyles” for one special woman, and change a ton about their social lives.

But this only happens when a man has HIS OWN REASONS to change.

It NEVER works, or lasts, if a man simply tries to change for a woman, or for the sake of the relationship.

There’s a rule I like to use in my life when ever I come to a situation where I’m trying to align my own desires or goals with someone else’s:

“All motivation is self-interest.”

In other words, if you’re trying to create a great situation with a man, you’re going to need to understand what HIS REASONS are going to be for doing the work on his end to make it happen.

But lots of women try and get a man to change by showing a man how it affects THEM, not him.

This is the exact opposite of understanding that people are motivated by the things that THEY WANT, and not what others feel and want.

It takes some maturity to accept that other people (men) have their own unique way of seeing things and wanting what they want. (to stay and work things out, or not)

But once you learn to accept these things and start to work with them instead of against them, life gets a whole lot easier.

And a whole lot more fun.     So those are 5 of the most common reasons and situations about why men leave women and relationships.

Creating A Lasting “Emotional Connection” With Your Man

One of the most important things underlying all these 5 reasons is the EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE that you create with a man.

I think of the emotional experience that youshare with a man in your relationship as the door through which your relationship will either open up and move forward…

Or on the other hand, as the barrier that causes a relationship to stay shut and go nowhere.

And I look at COMMITMENT as a man and a woman agreeing to open the door together and walk through it.

But the truth is that men don’t COMMIT for the same reasons most women do.

They don’t think about, talk about, or want to walk through the door the same way most women do.

That’s why the “process” by which most men commit is different.

For most women, there’s often a kind of tension and resistance built into moving forward in a relationship with a man.

And I’m not just talking about the spoken words of that make a commitment… but about the “emotional commitment” a man has inside with you.

If a man is deeply committed to you and your relationship on an emotional level, then any “issues” you run into are just going to be “bumps in the road” to him.

And he’ll be confident, comfortable, open, and secure with you in working them out.

But if a man ISN’T “emotionally committed” to you, then each and every little problem is going to cause him to get irritated, frustrated, and have him wanting to blame you and withdraw.

Which is, in turn, going to make things much less CERTAIN for you.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

I’m going to share 2 powerful tips for turning a passionless and distant or failed relationship around immediately.

If your man has suddenly pulled away, or you’ve been fighting and your relationship came apart… but you know there’s something special that’s worth saving… then this post can show you exactly what you need to know to turn things around and get him back.

*Note: If your problem is because your boyfriend is afraid of commitment- then that’s a slightly different situation. In this case you should read my post on how to get your emotionally unavailable man to get over his commitment fears.

Here we go…

Imagine being back in that place you were in when you and the man in your life first started getting to know each other.

Imagine having him excited just to be with you and be close to you the way he used to be.

Imagine everything suddenly feeling EASY and free again, the way love is supposed to when it’s working.

Now imagine that this can happen right away for you in your relationship, if you just put a few of the right tools and steps into place.

Keep reading and I’ll show you how your man can, and will, be quickly transformed by you and your natural feminine power as a woman.

And, for the shortcut on how you can create this amazing and instant “shift” in your relationship, to where your guy is CRAZY about just spending time with you again, go here now:

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/RelationshipTurnAround

Get Your BoyFriend Back Step #1: Shift From Criticism to Vulnerability

A man doesn’t want a woman who’s upset, irritable, and hard to be close to.

In fact, that’s the last thing most men want, and the first reason most men start thinking about leaving a relationship with a woman that they used to love.

But, most women don’t become hard-edged, annoyed and worn down by their man and relationship on purpose.

They stop getting what they want, and so they start to build WALLS and shut down the part of them that was VULNERABLE and that a man could love in the first place.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Think back to the last time you were in a fight with your man or he did or said something that really got under your skin?

How did you react?

Did you feel yourself tighten and become disconnected from him emotionally?

Was it difficult to open up and really LISTEN to what he had to say because all you could think about was how wrong he was?

I get it.

When you’re feeling resentful or disconnected from a man because he’s hurt you, the LAST thing you want to do is to become softer, more vulnerable or accepting of the love and attention he wants to give you.

That’s because when your man has let you down in some way, your normal reaction is to PUSH HIM AWAY.

You do that because you want him to know and to FEEL how much you’re hurting, and you want him to see you and love you.

But, instead of loving him to get him to love you back, you do things like:

• Criticize him
• Pretend like nothing is wrong and withdraw
• Get angry at little things he says
• Withhold your love, affection, and sex
• Give him the “silent treatment”

But let me ask you this…

If it’s MORE that you want, why is it so often that you find yourself giving LESS?

For most women, this happens because they already feel like they are giving too much of  themselves.

And, that they’re the only one giving, or they’re just not getting much, if anything, back for all that they do for their guy.

Sound familiar?

You start to think that everything you’re doing for the relationship is a chore, or just plain hard work, and you let him know in obvious (and not so obvious) ways.

You start to see not just the thing he did that upset you — but ALL the ways he upsets you or irritates you.

So, all the little things he does that were just little annoying “quirks” before, become one of the many major reasons why things just aren’t “working.”

One thing sets it off, but now he can’t do ANYTHING right in your eyes.

But, here’s the result of going down those paths – they never get you the solution you’re REALLY looking for, or get you what you really want and need from your man.

Which is – more love and affection. More understanding. More connection.

There’s a better way…

If You Want To Get Him Back, Get Him To Open Up First…

What if, instead of shutting down and becoming blaming and critical of him, you OPENED UP and shifted out of, and away, from the things that weren’t working?

What if instead of intellectually thinking about how wrong he is, and how justified YOU are in what you did or said, you could just stop and get in touch with what you’re feeling, and what you really want?

Do you think your guy would respond differently?

Do you think it would have an impact on your relationship?

You bet it would. But, of course, all this is easier said than done in the moment.

In fact, being able to open and love MORE in the tough times when you feel like your relationship is giving you LESS, is hard.

When someone hurts or upsets you, and you feel unappreciated or unloved, the last thing you want to do is sit around and figure out why you’re feeling the way you do, and look at what else you can do to make things better.

Instead, you want HIM to get with it and start giving to you the way you’ve been giving to him.

But, with this feeling you often want to try and fix things right away, you RESIST the hard feelings that come up inside you and, instead, push them OUTWARDS at him.

This is when you get into the “blaming”, “criticizing” or “needy” mode, which sometimes makes you feel a tiny bit better… but only for a little while until you see that your guy only pulls farther away afterwards.

It doesn’t take a psychologist to see that this is NOT a great strategy for inspiring your guy, for finding more love and happiness, and for building a lasting long-term relationship. So, how do you get out of a destructive and dead-end pattern?

It’s often the things we don’t think to try, that, when we finally give them a chance, create amazing results in our lives. And that means trying something that feels very COUNTERINTUITIVE.

That means stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something different than what feels “normal” and “obvious” in order to change the outcome.

Here’s what I’m getting at…

When you find yourself in that place where you begin to tighten up and resist because your emotions and frustrations are welling up inside you, instead of trying to quickly feel better and  ignore or hide those feelings, give yourself some space.

Try feeling it MORE. That’s right – really get deep into what you’re feeling and find the words to describe it. Take a minute to let yourself become aware of WHERE these feelings are really coming from.

Then, once you’ve had a tiny bit of time to feel it and understand it a little bit for yourself, you can share what you’re feeling with your man. Doing this, not only will you start to learn and grow by leaps and bounds in your own heart and mind with this simple exercise… but your relationship will suddenly start to look and feel differently to you, as your man will react differently to you and stay closer and more open to you and what you’re going through.

In the intensity of our own feelings, we often don’t see that however authentic they might be, the way we go about sharing our feelings actually creates more distance between us and pushes our partner away by accident- rather than bringing them closer to us.

What is it you want from your relationship and your communication? To be able to say anything you want, or to have your communication take you and your man both to a higher place together?

In other words… if you start to give yourself a moment to reflect on your own feelings and how you’re communicating them… then by giving yourself space to feel what you feel first, you’ll make space for your real feelings in your relationship and find more understanding from your man. And it’s these moments that create that intense, deep CONNECTION and love that is what a relationship is all about.

Let me ask you… when was the last time you had the experience of a really intense pain or emotion you felt being taken in and understood and talked through with you by your man? When was the last time your man said,

“Wow, I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do”?

If you’re like some women I’ve talked to and helped over the years, then it’s been way, way too long since you’ve felt emotionally supported and heard by a man in this way.

Instead, men seem to react with withdrawal, irritation, anger or frustration each time you tell them how you’re feeling.

It’s time you feel more supported, and your man starts being this way with you on a regular basis. Which leads you to something important here – a CHOICE.

Getting Your Boyfriend Back Is A Choice

You have a choice about how you’re going to keep on handling your own feelings and emotions in your relationship. And… you have a choice in how your feelings are going to shape your experience and your relationship.

You can keep doing what you’ve been doing and hope that it starts to work once a man finally figures it out and gets with it. Or…

You can try something you might not have thought to try before – which is actually opening and sharing more of your deeper FEELINGS, instead of your busy THOUGHTS.

If you try the new way I’m going to show you, then get ready to watch as you get a different outcome and response from your man that you might have not thought possible from around your feelings.

Here are some examples of what I’m talking about…

Let’s say you notice that your guy has a wandering eye, and it upsets you. Should you say something? Should you stay quiet and try to not let it bother you because “men are men”?

The key here is respecting yourself, your true emotions, and sharing what you’re feeling, not what you’re THINKING. Otherwise, you’ll not only put more distance between you and your man… and he probably won’t know why you’re upset and he’ll eventually feel irritated that you’re unhappy for some unknown reason.

So, if it’s your true feelings that are important, what do you say?

Here’s an example of sharing what you’re thinking…

Thinking Statement:

“You must not be attracted to me anymore since you obviously want other women.”

Wrong. This is sure to only create a new problem that probably isn’t about what’s really going on in the first place.

Feeling Statement:

“I feel really scared and gross when you look at or flirt with other women in front of me.”

Now… tell me- what’s going on here, and what’s the difference in these 2 statements? You’re talking about the same thing, but being open and honest enough to stick to your FEELINGS about what’s happening, instead of moving to judgment, is what makes all the difference with a man and making sure he listens and opens up to you in return.

Let’s try another example…

Let’s say your guy doesn’t call and he’s 30 minutes late to meet you or pick you up. How could he do that and not call?

If he had just called, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. Why didn’t he?

What do you say to him? And how do you handle it?

Thinking Statement:

“You’re either dumb or insane if you think you can show up here 30 minutes late and not call and I won’t be angry at you. What’s your problem?”

Feeling Statement:

“I feel upset and confused because I don’t understand why you didn’t call.”

See how the two feel very different?

One feels very offensive, blaming, and antagonistic. It actually raises the level of conflict, and creates tension and distance.

The other one is an “opening” kind of question that actually allows for truth, honesty and promotes answers and understanding.

Oh, and which one do you think a man will respond more openly to? Your thinking statements, or your feeling ones? I can practically guarantee you that a man will either shut down and feel annoyed or withdraw from you, or escalate things and get into an argument with you and not give you any understanding if you used the thinking statements in the above situations.

But, if you used the FEELING statements above, and you left space after them for your guy to say something… then very quickly he’d start to listen, explain himself, and either apologize or give you the understanding and respect you just wanted in the first place.

But, here’s the catch, and where most women mess this up even though they start out with their FEELINGS:

Once you open up and admit your true feelings, you can’t keep going on and on about it.

You have to allow time for a man to process what you just said, and not “rush” things just because you feel uncomfortable and want him to hear you and “get it” immediately.

The secret here is to say how you feel and then simply STOP TALKING.

Most men – about 99.9% of them – do NOT move this fast from one emotion to the next. So when you try and take them with you on that ride, things will often turn ugly.

A relationship takes two people listening, and caring about what’s true for the other person.

This is just a small part of some of the secrets to inspiring a man to be an open and endlessly understanding partner to you.

If you want all of my best stuff about men and what creates love and devotion in a man to where he’ll be the loving partner with you he didn’t even know he had in him… then you need to go check out my “Relationship Turn Around” program on CD or DVD. It’s the thing you need to check out if you want to get your boyfriend back.

In it you’ll discover what gets a man to open up and stay open with everything from love to sex to communication to monogamy. All the details on this program and tons of free tips on how to create an incredible and lasting relationship with a man that will keep you both happy and fulfilled together forever are in this special tips letter here:

Relationship Turnaround

Get Your Boyfriend Back Step #2: Invite Love, Don’t Demand It

Have you felt hurt or angry at your man and found yourself saying a whole bunch of things that started with:

“I need. I want. I deserve. You should. You need to. You’d better”?

If those phrases sound familiar to you, that’s because you were talking from the space of ENTITLEMENT. Meaning… you felt like you were “entitled” or deserved to have your man do or say something to make you feel better about yourself or the relationship.

You can have very good reasons for feeling this way. Maybe you feel like you’ve been doing all the WORK in the relationship, and all the sharing, while all he’s done is get distant or confuse you with what he says and does.

Maybe you’ve been doing your best to make him happy and you’ve been withholding how you REALLY feel because you don’t want to hurt him or start a fight. So you feel stifled and powerless in the relationship.

After doing that sort of thing long enough, it’s no wonder you feel like you DESERVE and NEED to get the love, respect and consideration back that you’ve put in. And yeah, you do deserve all those things.

It doesn’t make much sense to you that he doesn’t see or realize how hard you’ve been working to make things right between you.

But in a man’s mind, when he sees you shutting down, pushing him away, and then he hears you telling him how he needs to be doing this, or how he’d better do that, it doesn’t make much sense to him, either.

When you’re feeling hurt and start telling him, “You should” or “You really need to”, you’ll onl get a negative response from your man.

Instead of seeing how you feel, a man will simply SHUT DOWN and back even further away from you. A man has to have HIS OWN REASONS for wanting to do all the things that make you happy and keep your relationship strong.

You can never, ever, ever tell a man how to feel or act – just as a man should never do this with you. A man should respect your feelings, as you should respect his. But you can INSPIRE a man, and you can share what it is that you like, love and want. And therein lies the secret of getting your boyfriend back and having a relationship where the man in your life is irresistibly attracted and devoted to you.

Fortunately, there’s a way to ask for what you need that will have him WANTING to give you more. This way is not about ENTITLEMENT, blaming or demands. It’s by INVITING him, by opening up and making it very easy for him to give you want you want.

Men love nothing more than feeling like it’s easy for them to make you happy as a woman – but only when they feel like it’s their choice. Sound complicated? Like it’s too much work?

It’s not, once you know how. In fact, it’s easy.

You can start to create these powerful shifts in the way your man responds to you simply by changing the way you phrase things.

Instead of saying, “I need you to…” you can say, “It would really make me feel loved if you…”

I can’t tell you how much most women resist doing this because they think it’s silly. but when they finally speak the words, they work like MAGIC. Try it. You’ll be amazed at the different response you’ll suddenly get.

Here’s another…

Instead of telling him, “I need you to (do this or that)”… you can invite him by saying, “It would really make me happy if you would (doing this or that).”

It doesn’t take much to shift your energy and become more inviting and therefore INSPIRE your man to want to give you more of what you want and need.

If you’re not convinced, think back to a time when you felt hurt or angry and you closed off to your man. You blamed him. You didn’t talk to him  for hours or days. You criticized and demanded. How did he respond?

I think you’ll realize that the energy you bring to your relationship has a HUGE effect on what you get out of it.

So the question is… what energy are you bringing to your man and your relationship? What were you bringing in the past that might have pushed you both apart in the first place, and is making it hard to get him back?

Are you getting some of what you’re giving in the first place?

You can learn a lot more about how the “energy” you bring into a relationship greatly affects your love life by checking out my Relationship Turnaround by Christian Carter program.

In this program, I reveal a simple but profound TRUTH about getting back the love and devotion you used to have with a man.

In order to turn a troubled relationship around, chances are you need to get back to the relaxed, feminine woman you used to be before things got really tense and draining between you. Problems in relationships tend to accumulate over time and build up a lot of fear, anger or resentment in people. One of the reasons it can seem so difficult to move forward and get through the hard times is because of all that built-up fear and negative emotion.

I’ll show you how to overcome those negative emotions and get more passion and commitment from your man in my “Relationship Turnaround” program.

Relationship Turn Around: Save Your Relationship & Get Him Back

Getting back to the “real you” and getting back in touch with the relaxed, feminine woman you used to be is very important. How do I know?

Because the most common realization I hear women have when they break up a relationship that wasn’t working is that they LOST THEMSELVES. They didn’t consciously choose to ignore their own needs and desires. It usually just happens because the woman is so focused on trying to make her relationship work, or because she’s so devoted to her man that she virtually IGNORES other aspects of her life.

If you wonder if maybe you’ve put parts of yourself aside in order to protect or save your relationship with your man, and you want to do something important and positive for YOURSELF for a change… and do something that will actually change the quality of your relationship in an amazing way… then I recommend you check out my “Relationship Turnaround” program for free for 30 days.

Go to this link below and order your trial copy, and if you’re not convinced it’s the best thing you’ve done to improve your relationship EVER, then send it back and I won’t charge you anything.

This program has already changed the lives of literally thousands of women. If you want to see what other women have to say and how they’ve gone about getting their boyfriend and their relationship back on track, check out the free tips and videos of what women got from my Relationship Turnaround program.

Let me know how it goes.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Christian

Do you ever find that your boyfriend or husband doesn’t listen?

Oh, and that he doesn’t talk much to you either.

Which leaves you to wonder… if he doesn’t talk or listen, how in the world are you supposed to have a real relationship?

By using sign language?

The truth is, men are often bad at, or don’t get the importance of opening up and sharing their feelings in relationships.

And that goes for paying attention to and listening and caring for your needs and feelings too.

And the most frustrating part is… men are often especially bad at talking or wanting to talk when it’s most important to you as a woman.

Like when things are tense and emotional, and the stakes are high in your relationship.

Don’t let this unnecessarily tear apart your relationship… when creating the level of connection, sharing and talking you need can be as easy as starting with just a few of the right words.

Do you know what it is you can say to your man that will take him from his most closed off to him begging to share more about how he thinks and feels with you?

Hint- it’s NOT about using a whole lot of fancy words.

It’s the few simple right words that will make all the difference.

If you’re tired of the UNCERTAINTY and DOUBT that comes from not knowing how the man in your life really feels…

And you’d like to create a deeper level of UNDERSTANDING in the way you and your boyfriend connect and COMMUNICATE…

Then it’s time you knew the SECRETS of how to become the one woman a man will finally want to open up to and never stop sharing himself with by reading my secrets to communicating with a man in a relationship right HERE:

Communication Secrets

All right, now let’s get down to the heart of the matter.

There are 3 elements every relationship needs if it’s going to LAST. Do you know what these 3 critical elements are?

I’ll give you a second to think about it.

…

Give up?

The 3 critical elements that you MUST HAVE between you and a man if you want a loving, lasting, and secure relationship are:

Element #1: An Intense Level Of Attraction

Call it “chemistry”. Call it a spark. Call it whatever you like…

But if a man doesn’t “feel it” for you when it comes to this magic something of chemistry and attraction… then NOTHING ELSE you say or do will matter.

And I mean NOTHING ELSE matters.

You can try and say all the right things.

You can think about him all the time.

And you can do amazing things for him that no other woman could ever know to do for him in his life.

But if that gut-level ATTRACTION isn’t there that tells him deep down inside that he HAS to be
with you tonight and every other night… then there isn’t much you can do to change his mind or make him feel differently and really and truly want you.

A man MUST feel a level of attraction for you that goes DEEPER than just the common and “Physical Attraction” a man can experience for a woman that quickly comes and goes, but can seem so “real”.

Unfortunately, lots of women make 2 mistakes when it comes to attraction with men that keep
them from ever being able to get past those critical early dating stages where a man will become more emotionally attached and involved with a woman.

Quickly, here are the 2 mistakes are:

Attraction Mistake #1

Trying to get a man’s interest and attention by using the fast, fun, and easy approach to create “Physical Attraction” inside a man (which never lasts)

Attraction Mistake #2

Not knowing how that deeper level of what I call “Emotional Attraction” works inside a man’s mind that will make him want to emotionally open up and engage with you

These mistakes are the two most common and certain ways to make sure your love life will go nowhere fast with men… even when you have the best of intentions and just want to find a great guy to love and love you back.

There’s a simple truth you need to know…

If you don’t know how attraction works for a man, and how it works differently than how it works for most women… then you’re going to end up running in circles trying to do what you think will work.

And in your attempts at getting a man to like you and want to be with you… you’re going to end up pushing him away as he sees you as desperate, “needy”, clingy, or just plain overly emotional.

The worst part is, there are a lot of smart women out there who are really great women who actually know on a conscious level about these mistakes… but they just can’t help but make these same mistakes over and over anyway.

But smart women who seem to have a more natural knack for talking to men, getting their interest,
and having men see them as “cool” and desirable have a way of being able to AVOID these mistakes and are NEVER seen as desperate, too needy, or generally UNATTRACTIVE when it comes to how they act and feel on an emotional level around men.

Here are some tips on how any woman can become a “natural” at creating that deeper and more LASTING ATTRACTION with a man:

Natural & Lasting Attraction

Element #2: “Emotional Engagement”

I probably don’t have to tell you that most men, when you’re in a relationship with them, won’t be constantly seeking to know about and understand how you feel.

Although it would be nice if your man would be this way.

Instead, most men start to actually TUNE OUT the woman they’re with when they start to sense or see a lot of emotions they don’t understand.

It’s most men’s natural response.

To withdraw from intense emotions that can lead to conflict with a woman.

Knowing this, are you accidentally helping your man to withdraw from you? Think about it for a second.

Now, let me ask you…

Do you know what it is that either makes a man open up and be excited to really LISTEN to you and
UNDERSTAND what you’re feeling and going through… or shut down when he sees how you’re
feeling inside?

And do you know what makes a man see your desire to talk and share your feelings as evidence that you’re emotionally unhealthy and the kind of woman who would only be more trouble and irritation than she’s worth?

Here’s something that might blow your mind…

Did you know that you can say the exact SAME THING to a man at different times, and you’ll get completely different responses from him?

And this isn’t just because of his mood.

The reality is that there is one significant thing that makes all the difference in the world when it comes to how a man sees, feels, and RESPONDS to the way you talk and share with him…

And that’s the level to which he is EMOTIONALLY ENGAGED with you when you’re talking.

Let me explain…

One of the most common ways that women end up accidentally causing a man to close off and WITHDRAW from them is when a man doesn’t know about, see, or understand what a women is going through and feeling…

And then the woman gets MORE UPSET and frustrated with him at the fact that he doesn’t seem to see or respond to her, and so SHE closes off.

If you’ve ever had this happen to you, you know that something happens between you and a man, and you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach you just can’t ignore.

You know that something is “off” and not right… and it sends your intuition and your imagination running.

As the flood of emotions hit you, and you FEEL what’s going on throughout your body, you want the man to both see and understand why you would feel this way…

And you want him to UNDERSTAND you and the way that you’re feeling.

Of course, this isn’t at all what most men are going through in their emotional process.

They’re often thinking… “I have NO IDEA why she’s acting this way, or what it’s about, but I don’t like it and it feels awful. What’s the problem? And why is she freaking out so much. I want this to go away.”

Long story short, what started off as a misunderstanding and a situation where you simply didn’t feel good about something in the moment, and you wanted him to see it and respond… turned out to be something that caused a huge DISCONNECT between you two.

Your emotional experiences led both you AND him to feel distant and frustrated with each other in a way that kept you from being able to be close and feel ENGAGED in your feelings together.

How To Handle An Emotionally Unavailable Man

On the other hand, if you know how to COMMUNICATE with a man… and you know how to get him to LISTEN and RESPOND to you in a positive way that shows that he hears and APPRECIATES your
feelings…

Then these entire situations actually become moments where you and a man GROW CLOSER and learn more amazing things about each other that build your love and attraction.

Here’s a great thing to read if you want to learn more about communicating with a man and the process of “Emotionally Engaging” with him:

My best Communication Secrets.

Element #3: “Effortless Communication”

How hard is it to talk to your boyfriend?

Is it harder than you know it should be?

At the core of a healthy relationship is the trust and knowledge by both partners that the other is going to listen with patience and respect… and that there’s enough trust so that it’s OK to share the truth of what’s really happening in each others lives.

If you don’t have open communication, then you by definition don’t have HONESTY.

And if you don’t have honesty, you by definition don’t have a relationship that you can count on as secure and “connected.”

Here’s something that you might be going through if you’re not experiencing the level of open honesty you know your relationship needs…

Do you ever sit there and realize that you and your man share less with each other than you probably share with your friends about how you’re both thinking and feeling inside?

Are you ever scared to say what you REALLY think and feel to the man in your life?

And have you ever found out about things that are going on for a man that you’re with and what’s going on in your relationship from someone else who hardly knows him?

Isn’t a man supposed to be closer, more open, and more honest with you than anyone else about what’s going on for him in your relationship with you?

The answer is yes, he is.

You’re supposed to be able to be closer and more open and honest with the man in your life than with anyone else. But for lots of women it just doesn’t work this way.

Oftentimes you, as the girlfriend, are the VERY LAST person to find out what’s REALLY going on inside the mind of the man you’re with. And it’s enough to make you want to scream.

But how is it that other couples, and other women have men and relationships in their lives where the man they’re with can and does tell them ANYTHING and EVERYTHING going on with him first… and shares and confides in them as close and loving partners are supposed to?

Well, I have to be the one to break the bad news to you…

But if you haven’t had this kind of open, honest, and “effortless” communication between you and your man in the past where you can and do tell each other anything…

Or you don’t have it now… then guess who’s fault that is?

It’s the fault of BOTH people in the relationship. (Yours too.)

You, and only you, have the power and the responsibility to create your relationship and make it what you want. Especially if you’re the one who’s more “tuned in” to what might be a problem around communication in your relationship.

Want to know something fascinating that makes life and relationships a whole lot easier?

Good communication attracts and inspires good communication in return.

To say it another way… if you’re not having the kind of open and honest connection with your man that you want and need, then you have to start to realize 2 things:

1) That the only meaningful measure of how well YOU are communicating is the RESPONSE that you get.

2) If you improve how you communicate, and things still don’t improve, then it eventually becomes your issue if you continue to be frustrated by expecting change from a man who’s showing you that he won’t or isn’t capable of changing

It’s tough to accept at first, and it feels unfair when your boyfriend isn’t doing his part…

But once you take RESPONSIBILITY for bringing the right words and the right kind of talking and sharing into your relationship…

Your relationship will instantly shift all on it’s own – simply because you’ve brought more willingness to see the truth of your relationship AS IT IS, and not as you want it to be.

So here’s the question…

Can you take 100% responsibility for the way you communicate to the man in your life?

Or are you still wrapped up in blaming him, trying to show him how he’s hurting you, or with reacting to what you think is wrong rather than trying to get to what is right?

I’ll give you a second to think about what you and the way your talking and reacting to your man is bringing into your relationship.

..

Now, if you’ve had several relationships in your life where the level of communication you shared was AWFUL, and you found out about all the important things going on inside your man’s mind after the fact when it was too late and you were breaking up…

Then here’s your wake-up call.

There’s something I’ve learned in my life that I’ve practiced myself, and that I’ve watched literally hundreds and thousands of women use to turn their love life around almost overnight…

And that’s one simple thing-

Taking 100% PERSONAL RESPONSIBILTY for creating the kind of COMMUNICATION you want and have in your relationship.

The Response you get from what you communicate is the only meaningful measure of how good of a communicator you are?

So… what kind of results are you getting?

In other words, the thing that really and truly matters – if you care about having the kind of
understanding and emotional exchange that you want – is helping the man you’re sharing your thoughts
and feelings with actually “get” what you’re saying.

And if you can do that, and spend just a little time helping him understand you… then you’re literally HUNDREDS of times more likely to get the RESULT you want from sharing your thoughts and feelings in the first place.

Making Your Communication Shift Today

So let me ask you…

What do you think would happen if you decided today to take 100% responsibility for the way in which you communicate and share the very thoughts that sneak up on you and make you feel frustrated and upset?

Would he respond in a new and different way?

I think you’d be surprised to find out how he would respond… and I KNOW you’d like what you found.

One of the challenges when we’re in a great relationship is that there is SOOOOO much intense emotional stuff happening inside us that our minds end up literally SWIMMING in ideas and emotions.

And because we know exactly how each of the things that is going on looks and feels for us inside our own head… we make the terrible mistake of thinking that with a few simple words in conversation that the person we’re experiencing these feelings with will instantly “get it” and understand where we’re coming from.

If you think about it and you’re honest… even YOU don’t know and understand all the feelings, emotions, and thoughts that are going through your head.

Point being… this mistake of assuming that a man will have an easy time hearing and understanding you if he would just stop and listen to you is made 10 times worse by the fact that men aren’t often trying to RELATE to what you’re thinking and feeling anyway.

Instead, their mind is somewhere else completely and not focused on relating and understanding at that time. Especially if you haven’t taken the time to ENGAGE HIM on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL to help him get in touch with his and your feelings.

What do men often do instead of relating to you and understanding you?

Right… they try to SOLVE the “problem” they think is going on that’s making you feel things so intensely in the first place…

Or they’re trying to get away from the intense feelings and emotions you’re going through in the first place… because they don’t understand them… or they’re not in the mental and emotional place to take them in and talk to you about them.

There’s a SECRET about how to get a man in the right mental and emotional place where he’ll naturally want to listen, share, and connect with you on a more open emotional level.

And that’s by creating what I call an Emotional Engagement with a man.

Doing this can be as simple as rubbing the back of a man’s neck gently with your hands as he sinks into a feeling of connection and affection with you…

Or it can be as difficult as trying to explain to him over and over what’s going on in your relationship that’s causing problems… and having him not want to listen or talk to you anymore.

If you want to learn the secret to creating this kind of “Emotional Engagement” with a man… and do it quickly and any time you like simply by shifting a few small things about the way you actually talk and communicate with him… then you need to check out this letter I’ve written about how to do this.

If you’re ready to leave the dead-end patterns of misunderstanding, withdrawal, and not having a man seem to listen or care about your feelings, then you need to check out my “Communication Secrets For A Secure Relationship” program right now.

This program has already taught literally thousands of other women this essential “relationship skill” of how to Emotionally Engage a man and help him be a more responsive listener and partner to you.

You can read all the details about my “Communication Secrets” program, watch some video samples from the actual program itself, and learn how to create the foundation for SECURITY and CERTAINTY in your relationship with a man if you check out this program now right here:

Communication Secrets For A Secure Relationship

Oh… and if you’d like to learn more about the critical skill of knowing how to create that deeper and more LASTING level of ATTRACTION with a man… then read this right away:

Creating “Natural & Lasting Attraction” with your man.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Christian Carter

Women ask me these questions about men they want to date all the time:

• Is he interested in me?
• Is he shy or not interested?
• How do I tell if he is interested?
• What are the signs that he’s not interested?

I get so many of these I’m considering creating an “Is he interested quiz” to give you a fun and interesting way to know. Stay tuned…

In this post I’ll outline how to tell if a man is interested and tips and skills you can use to increase the chances that he WILL be interested.

Let’s get started…

Is He Interested? — Women Have No Idea

When women start liking a guy, they seem to have NO IDEA how to figure out what he’s really thinking or where he might see things going.

So they start to feel nervous or even “out of control” with the situation and their feelings.

If you’ve seen this, or even been there yourself, then you probably know what comes next…

Often times, women will start to freak themselves out by over-analyzing everything the guy does…which only fills them with more questions, doubt, and even fear.

And of course the man picks up on this… which causes a negative “psychological shift” to take place that makes things even more difficult.

Men Close Off Due to Negative Emotional Energy

Translation -> The man consciously, or subconsciously, starts to close off from the woman as he senses her “negative emotional energy.”

And hey…I know it’s not “fair” for a man to do this (and him shutting off is also about HIS issues) but it’s the reality of the situation.

Women who learn to deal with these “realities” are able to actually change and improve the communication and connection they have with a man.

While women who don’t take the time to learn about and deal with these “realities” stay stuck in negative patterns of withdrawal, frustration, conflict and disappointment.

So let me ask you…

Have you ever seen or been in this kind of situation with a man where you were uncertain about how he was feeling and where he was at, but it only seemed to cause more tension instead of bringing you closer like you had hoped it would?

Relationship Skills That Will Change Your Life

If so, then there are a few critical SKILLS you could pick up that would change your love life and relationship for the better…

Such as learning to tell the difference between a guy that wants to go out because he’s just physically attracted to you and a guy who is open, able, and looking for something more.

That way, you’d be hundreds of times more likely to find and attract the right kind of guy right from the start.

Or another skill…

When you do find a good guy, learning the specific ways to communicate with him so that he opens up, shares, and listens.

That way, you’d be speaking HIS language, and he’d quickly feel more intensely attracted, close to you, and emotionally “connected” in a deeper way…instead of you just “winging” it and thinking that you intuitively know all the answers because you know how things work for YOU.

So… do you know these skills of identifying good men and communicating with them in their language?

And do you know how to put them to use in your love life to start living the relationship you’re after… right now?

If not, then I STRONGLY RECOMMEND that you keep reading….

Your “Approach” Makes All The Difference

After spending literally years studying, thinking, and observing how men and women think about relationships and the way they communicate with each other, I’ve noticed something FASCINATING…

Lots of women have a common “strategy” or approach to men and relationships.

There are several common strategies by the way, but this one happens to be the one that I see the most of that doesn’t work.

The Strategy of “Compensation”

I’ll explain “Compensation” by giving you an example of how this strategy usually comes up, and why it doesn’t work with a man…

One of the common things that men do is to get involved quickly, intensely, and deeply with a woman when they first meet.

The man has strong feelings and emotions that seem to carry them away and make them do and say things that are more emotionally “open” an “risky” than they would be at other times.

But eventually the man’s “everyday” emotional state or emotional world catches up to him, shifting him back to the way he has felt most “comfortable” in his life – not sharing, opening, or “risking” much.

(A woman’s uncertainty about a relationship, and the doubt or fear that comes from this, can also trigger this shift in a man.)

With this happening, women often intuitively sense the “shift” in the man and become conscious of how he has changed – as he starts to talk and act differently.

It’s here that lots of women get FREAKED OUT and even feel REJECTED by this shift in a man’s behavior.

And here’s where the weak strategy of COMPENSATING comes up…

To try and get things back to the way they were, or the way they know is more open and healthy, women often try and make up for what the guy isn’t doing.

They do things to try and make him happy or more comfortable, change things in their own life that they shouldn’t to accommodate him, and make EXCUSES for his shortcomings and distant and un-involved behavior in all kinds of social situations with friends, family, etc.

Recognize anything about “Compensating” yet?

Well then, you know that sooner or later, if you try Compensating, you’ll become drained, frustrated, and maybe even resentful.

By trying to hold things together in the relationship and not getting much back, you’ll realize that the man isn’t there with you, and might even be doing and sharing less than before as he senses your frustration.

And it’s here that women often pull away and become more distant themselves.

Asking “What’s Wrong” Doesn’t Help

The common example of this is when a woman is visibly withdrawn and the man asks her, “What’s wrong?”

Obviously there’s a LOT that’s wrong and the woman wants the man to recognize it for himself.

But he doesn’t…so she says, “Nothing is wrong…” in a cold, unfeeling tone of voice.

If you’ve been a “Compensator”, then you already know that Compensating doesn’t change a man or make him any happier or more open.

And it ABSOLUTELY doesn’t make YOU any happier.

Catching on here?

Good.

A man is RARELY, if EVER, going to magically become more CONSCIOUS and find the ability to recognize and appreciate the value of what you’re doing for your relationship when you take on the role of the Compensator.

Most men just don’t “get it” and they don’t appreciate or understand what it is you’re trying to do by Compensating.

Now, there IS another way that actually WORKS for BOTH of you…

Speaking His Language & Teaching Him to Speak Yours

So why do men act this way?

Why do they make it so difficult to open up and share what’s going on inside?

Is it because they’re completely incapable?

Obviously not…but they are DIFFERENT.

With lots of men, they’ve been taught or “conditioned” that consistent, emotional, and intense displays of interaction are actually a sign of weakness…even though this couldn’t be further from the truth.

While women, on the other hand, seem to have a natural understanding of the beauty and the power of emotional connection…and they are often valued and encouraged for their “emotional intelligence” and ability to relate, share, and understand.

So what does this mean?

Well, remember the question from the beginning of this email?

“Do you know how to tell if a man is interested in you…and why?”

Here’s the thing…

If a woman tries to Compensate for things that a man is doing in a relationship, often times she’s avoiding the REALITY of where he’s at, how he is, his level of emotional maturity, etc.

Compensating is often a temporary scotch-tape fix, trying to cover up or avoid the recognition of something deeper.

Two Tips On How To Tell If A Guy Is Interested

The way to tell how interested a man is and why, has two critical parts to it:

Tip #1: Using Your Intuition To Gauge His Interest

Listening to your intuition is NOT unique advice. I get that. Lots of women use their intuition in one way or another. But here’s what IS powerful…

Learning to turn your intuition on so that it’s there for you when you need it…and taking the right meaning out of what it tells you.

To use your intuition, you need to get into the habit of consciously asking yourself the direct questions that you want answers to.

Do this at the beginning of the day… and then go on.

This “primes” your subconscious mind to process your question.

But be VERY CAREFUL. What you ask is what your mind will pay attention to.

So let me be clear: You want to ask POSITIVE QUESTIONS that direct your mind to finding CONSTRUCTIVE clues, meanings, and outcomes for you.

In other words, if you want to understand more about what’s going on with the guy you’re dating… DO NOT ask,

“Why doesn’t he like me as much as I like him?”

The entire context of this question, and the beliefs behind it, are NEGATIVE and destructive. Instead…ask,

“Is he interested in the kind of relationship that I want?”

Or…

“Is there something going on for him personally that is keeping him from being able to be present with me or being emotionally involved?”

See the difference?

Tip #2: How To Communicate And Encourage His Interest

Are you good at communicating with men?

Or more specifically, with men you’ve been in relationships with in the past or with the man that’s in your life right now?

And if not, whose fault is that?

The amazing thing that I’ve discovered is that most people THINK that they are great communicators.

But they don’t seem to get any RESULTS with their communication.

Guess what?

If you aren’t getting some of the results you’re after, then your communication skills SUCK.

Sorry to be so blunt about it, but it’s for your own good.

Communication = The Response You Get

Think about that for a minute…

Communication With Men In Relationships

Ok, now let’s talk about good communication.

What people usually mean when they say that they’re great communicators, or that they know how to talk to people, is that they say exactly what they’re thinking and feeling all the time.

Just so you know, this is NOT a leading trait that makes up a great communicator – or even a good one.

But wait! Am I saying to not recognize or respect your feelings and emotions (as though you could just hide them away)?

NO.

Being IN TOUCH with your feelings is GOOD.

But throwing them out when they come to you, not “filtering” them, and putting no conscious thought behind how the other person will hear and receive your words, is VERY BAD.

You HAVE to consider your audience. Which in this case is a man, with his own way of seeing, being, learning, and understanding.

I’ve spent literally years studying how people interact, communicate, understand each other (or don’t), and the silent and subtle things that are going on beneath the surface that say WAY MORE than we believe they do.

One of the most important things that I’ve realized (and had to personally learn again and again) is that just because I understand or see something clearly in my own mind, DOES NOT mean that I can quickly help someone else see the same thing I see or understand.

But we so often expect the opposite to be true.

And when it’s not, we quickly become frustrated and want to blame the other person for not paying attention or listening.

TONS of women spend days, weeks, or months analyzing, processing, and discussing a thought or idea that they have about a man or about their relationship.

And after all this, they come to a conclusion, having the benefit of all the wisdom they’ve gathered over time, and present their thoughts to their guy.

And then what happens?

Most of the time, the woman expects the man to listen and VERY QUICKLY understand what she’s talking about, what it means about him and their relationship, and how it makes her feel and why.

And how does that usually work out?

Right.

Communication Differences Between Men and Women

If you think about this situation for a second, you’ll realize a few important things:

1. The man didn’t have the benefit of all the time and discussion/analysis that the woman had

2. The woman is expecting her communication to give him a perfect view and experience of what it’s like to be her

3. The man might have less of a natural ability to pick apart and understand relationship dynamics and emotions

4. The man probably sees things differently and has his own perspective (right or wrong)

So why am I telling you all this about communication?

And what does it have to do with knowing how interested a guy is in you… and why?

Well, people rarely understand what we tell them in the way that we understand it ourselves.

Men included.

In fact… especially with men.

And I recognize the challenge that you, as a woman, have with a man…. Often times it’s very difficult to know what’s going on with a man because he will RARELY, if EVER, come out and say exactly how he’s thinking or feeling.

Especially if it has to do with a woman.

And ESPECIALLY if it involves a difficult, tense, or potentially negative emotional situation.

Most men in this situation will simply AVOID CONVERSATION and CONNECTION to try and hide their feelings, hoping that it will all just go away and they won’t have to “deal with it.”

Want to know one of the greatest SECRETS to dealing with this in a way that will free you of the burden of blaming yourself, Compensating, and other self-destructive and hurtful behaviors?

The Key To “Is He Interested?”

Knowing that you can’t control a man, nor read his mind… there’s one real effective way to gauge his interest-

Start learning how GOOD COMMUNICATION really works with men, and use the process to get the man you’re interested in to open up to you more and more.

Oh, and here’s a little inside tip…

Once you learn to start communicating in a way that actually WORKS and gets results with a man, guess what other “magical” benefit this brings with it?

You being an effective communicator will in turn also help make HIM become a much better communicator.

And yeah, I know that it almost sounds too simple to be so powerful and real.

IT’S NOT. Don’t cheat yourself out of this.

I wish I could give a quick tip for this one, to say this or that, and it would work its magic charm and you could be on your way with everything you need to know…right now.

But I’d be lying if I tried to give you some “quick-fix.”

Great communication is something you have to learn.

But… I do have a TON of amazing shortcuts and insights on how to help you do this.

Becoming a great communicator will lead you to learn how to tell the difference between a guy that wants to go out because he’s just physically attracted to you…and a guy who is open, able, and looking for something more.

And becoming a great communicator will give you the head start and the insights you need when you do find a great guy and you want to make sure that you have a relationship where you both open up, share, and listen.

Of course, if this sounds like too much work, and you want men to do this “inner-work” so that you don’t have to…be my guest.

Leave it up to him.

Maybe the perfect guy will come along and make it all different for you.

Maybe you’ll finally get your guy to just start “getting it” and change…after all the time you’ve spent trying, without results.

Or…

You could take your love life into your own hands, learn a few things that will help you GROW, and be on your way to something better for the rest of your life.

If you want to take the next step, then I’ve got it here for you…my eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him”.

Learn About Creating Attraction & His Commitment Fear

Chapter Seven of my eBook, which builds upon the social and psychological foundations I lay out in earlier chapters, explains in detail the way to communicate with a man in the most direct and influential way – through your behavior…an act is worth a thousand words.

I explain exactly how to actually CREATE ATTRACTION as you interact and communicate with a man, instead of pushing his buttons that lead him to withdraw or distance himself.

TONS of women make the mistake of not learning how ATTRACTION actually works…

And most women don’t realize the importance of learning to communicate with your words and body language so that the critical moments in relationships, such as discussing commitment, become MAGICAL MOMENTS that he will always remember, instead of conflicts that he’ll always regret.

In Chapter Eight, I explain how to communicate with men specifically on the potentially “dangerous topic of commitment and “where things are going.”

I even outline a step-by-step way to connect with a man that will have HIM leading YOU in the conversation of how to become closer in the future.

I call it “Pushing His Secret Communication Button.”

If you really want to master answering the question: Is He Interested and learning what to do to increase his interest, download my Catch Him & Keep Him eBook right now.

Thanks and best of luck in life and love!

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Let me show you a few things you can use right away to improve your relationship with a man and have him wanting to open up and STAY OPEN with you.

If you’ve struggled in your relationship and your man has a fear of commitment, or is more on the “emotionally available” or “uncommitted” side of things, you’ll want to read on.

Let’s start here…

Do you ever simply wonder why it is that so many men predictably do that thing where they “withdraw” and pull away from you all of a sudden- just as you were getting close?

Isn’t it strange how men always seem to do this just as you start getting really close and intimate?

It’s as though getting really close scares him off, and so he pulls away. (*Hint – this is what most women THINK is what’s happening and that their man suffers from commitment phobia, but it isn’t the whole story.)

So what’s going on here? And what does it mean?

And more importantly… what can you do about it so you don’t have to keep waiting and wondering when your guy is suddenly going to pull away from you without warning?

Glad you asked…

One of the very best things you can do to make sure that the relationship you’re building with a man continues to GROW DEEPER and that he stays interested and attracted, is to get into “sync” with how a man grows more emotionally and physically “bonded” to you as time goes on.

The truth is that men have a different what I call “Relationship Tempo” when it comes to commitment. Commitment works differently for a man.

I talk about this in detail in my Catch Him & Keep Him eBook.

If you don’t know how to easily stay in sync with a man as you grow closer and closer (and have him stay in sync with you) then odds are you’re going to end up becoming the unlucky woman who’s trying to force or CONVINCE your man to COMMIT.

Do yourself a favor and don’t fall into this trap. It doesn’t have to be that way, once you learn what tons of other women have learned about how men really and truly get to a place where he’s asking YOU to commit to HIM.

Why Men Pull Away & Fear Commitment In The First Place

When it comes to why the man in your life withdraws, the question you need to ask yourself is… what is withdrawal, what does it mean, and why do so many men do it?

Here’s a secret for you-

Men grow closer and more committed when they have space in their relationship.

I’ll explain more about what this means by giving you one of the most common examples that women tell me about.

It’s the age old “Man Comes Home From Work” story that every women who’s been with a man has experienced.

Man comes home from work. He’s tired and had a long day. Woman is wanting to connect with him and wants to talk. Things go badly. The end.

You know this story. Every woman does. Let me ask you…

How does a man feel and act after he’s been doing something intense?

I’ll tell you – he’s feeling kind of “spent” and empty, and he’s ready to slip into that zone where he just wants to completely BE.

Which means… he doesn’t want to do anything more, talk about anything more, think about anything more, or even FEEL anything more at that moment.

He just wants to “be”. He’s in a detached kind of state in his mind and body where he doesn’t ENGAGE in much of anything around him. (this isn’t as bad or as “negative” as it might sound right now)

Now, for some women who understand this about men and don’t take it personally when a man is this way… it’s almost cute and amusing when a man is this way. *ok, only for a few minutes at a time ;)

Unless the man you’re with is one of those guys who starts to “overdo it” and ends up on the couch being lazy and staring at the TV zoned out for hours at a time.

Not a good look for a man.

The emotionally unavailable man who withdraws

I’m not talking about these kinda cats. (err, men… lol)

I’m talking about men who still like to have that kind of isolated “me time” and close down… but they do it in moderation.

Here’s the point…

For women who DON’T know much about how men are, they end up taking this behavior from a man personally, feeling hurt or unappreciated.

When, instead they could understand that as much as it’s THEIR need to connect and be open and intimate to feel full and good, the man’s need to feel full in good is the exact opposite.

To put it down in simplest terms-

Men rejuvenate and are filled through what you might think of a Emptiness, and by turning everything off for a bit. This gets them back to “center.”

Women on the other hand rejuvenate and are filled by Fullness, and by deeply connecting. This gets them back to “center.”

Knowing this, how can your relationship start to encompass your needs AND the needs of the man in your life so it supports you both?

Instead of this seeming conflict of needs driving you to argue and both feel like they aren’t having their needs met or being listened to.

It’s not a ridiculous expectation to want a man to connect with you when you want to connect with him.

But if you care about getting the kind of RESPONSE you want with a man who’s being “distant” or in this kind of detached “zone”… then you need to make sure that the way you start off communicating with him is the kind of communicating that will make him want to open up and start communicating back with you.

As strange as it sounds, giving a man SPACE if a man is distant is exactly the thing that will get you more connection and intimacy from him the very second he’s filled himself back up and show up 100% with you.

Men are most likely to make a commitment, and to become more emotionally and physically committed to you when they feel they have the space and freedom to take space and “pull away” in the time they need.

Otherwise, they unconsciously fear that a woman and a relationship will drain them and consume them.

How can you and your boyfriend be a source of joy and rejuvenation in each other’s lives instead?

Often times simply asking this new question above is all you need to make the first shift in your relationship.

Oh, and by the way… if you want my very best insights on how and why men commit and how to get your man to commit on a deep physical and emotional level forever, I recommend you check out my program From Casual To Committed.

I’ll talk with you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Christian