The Matthews House strives to fill the current gap in services for at-risk youth transitioning to adulthood by providing the resources and support necessary to empower these youth to take control of their lives, shape positive futures for themselves and become successful contributors to their community.

Many of these youth have not had the influence of a stable caring adult and they frequently do not have the skills necessary for living independently, retaining a job, solving problems, managing money and building solid relationships. Without these skills, many will re-enter the justice or human services systems as adults.

So, along with 11 other people, we are going to meet early in the morning on August 7th and begin a footrace from Fort Collins to Steamboat Springs, about 200 miles! We will split up into 2 vans, with runners 1-6 in the first, 7-12 in the second. Once the 1st runner starts, the van will leapfrog to the start of the 2nd leg, and we’ll go from there. Distances range from 2.5 to 9.8. Each of us runs 3 times in what will likely be a 30 hour period. It’ll be a blast!

If you would be included to donate to The Matthews House, go to their Matthews House Run for Hope: Wild West Relay page and then click on the red Donate link, then choose my name, Seth Daire, from the dropdown list. A $5 or $10 donation would help greatly.

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Growing up old-time pentecostal rather than evangelical, we talked a lot about sin. So, I’ve never been one to forget about the notion. On the contrary, I’ve had to learn, and continue to learn, to not think about my mistakes. One of the valid reasons that people find sin distasteful is because sin sometimes becomes the focus. When I focus on sinning less to be a better person, usually by strength of will, I tend to get discouraged and sin more, not less.  When I trust God in my weakness, I often find myself feeling better about myself and not desiring to sin as much. Yet, even knowing that by experience, it’s so easy to focus on myself and try harder.

The following quote hits the mark.

“People who trust in themselves and in their own merits are, as it were, blinded by their own ‘I,’ and their hearts harden in sin. On the other hand, those who recognize themselves as weak and sinful entrust themselves to God, and from him obtain grace and forgiveness.”

That was by Pope Benedict XVI. I’m not Catholic, but amen.

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The great weakness in the North American church at large, and certainly in my life, is our refusal to accept our brokenness. We hide it, evade it, gloss over it. We grab for the cosmetic kit and put on our virtuous face to make ourselves admirable to the public. Thus, we present to others a self that is spiritually together, superficially happy, and lacquered with a sense of self-deprecating humor that passes for humility. The irony is that while I do not want anyone to know that I am judgmental, lazy, vulnerable, screwed up, and afraid, for fear of losing face, the face that I fear losing is the mask of the impostor, not my own!

The above quote is from Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. I’ve read this book before, but it’s been awhile. I hit a wall one day a few weeks ago, and went to a bookstore in a nearby town. I like Manning, and started to read it while there, and my thirsty soul took it in. It has been speaking to me, partially because it is so easy to get wrapped up in being successful, both in business and as a Christian. When I fail to live up to it, then I may get self-absorbed and get down on myself. Never a good thing. I’ve been reminded that I am a ragamuffin, that I need to trust Jesus, and be thankful. The way I wrote those words, it sounds like activities. No, it’s about the little child looking up at his daddy with arms open.

The quote at the top stood out to me as it make me think of the quote from Donald Grey Barnhouse in my last post. Sometimes Christianity is like that. The ironic thing is, not only do I find superficial Christianity distasteful, so does the world. I had sent the Barnhouse quote to someone, who responded that it reminded him of some local Christians who were supporting the notion of Character, and also of the movie Pleasantville. My response, with minor editing is as follows. This is my own brokenness on display.

I agree with conservative types that character is important, and the Bible does talk about character in leaders, but part of character, Biblically, is being in the light. And pleasantness doesn’t encourage this. When I am struggling with life and God and confidence and stuff, and I have a lot of late, being in a social gathering of pleasant Christians is the last place I want to be. It feels like work, feeling like it’s almost not okay to express that life isn’t always wonderful, like it, in theory, should be. Granted, I should perhaps have more joy than I do, but a lot of than depends on how much I trust God (or don’t) at a given time. Time for me to find a smaller group again, but even then, finding a place where everyone else in the group isn’t pleasant, or maybe I just have to make things unpleasant.

I liked Pleasantville. While movies like Pleasantville and American Beauty are selfish and skewed, what I like about them is the idea of people breaking out of the routine of simply going through the motions and finding life. Being hurt. Taking risks. Doing new things. The sister in Pleasantville found life by learning, by becoming something more substantive. When people started to have emotions, to feel, rather than just exist, they became alive. I don’t think people in Pleasantville had perfect character. Character on the outside doesn’t mean there is character on the inside, or in our private moments. A façade isn’t character. It seems that when people started expressing what they felt on the inside, what they really thought and felt, then they found color.

While the book Wild at Heart has flaws, in my opinion, it also has a bit of that notion of not just playing it safe and going through the motions. As in, what is life? Are we alive or just existing. It’s hard to grow into each other if we are always wondering what we might do wrong that would make people cease to love us. I sometimes wonder that. But when lines get crossed, and we stay in relationship, then there is a freedom there. Yet, so often I don’t get to that point, because it’s easier to be pleasant, even if I don’t like being pleasant. I think character misses the point completely and I also don’t think it’s a Biblical focus. “All have sinned” puts us all at the foot of the cross at the same level, in need of Christ, in need of each other. While that doesn’t mean sin is okay, it isn’t, or that it isn’t possible to overcome it to a degree (and people can argue about what degree it is possible in this life), the pursuit of being sinless seems to often be at odds with being in relationship to each other, and having it be okay for us to be there for each other, not in an “you’re broken so I’ll try to fix you” way, but in a “I’m here for you and will love you through it all as we press on together” way.

I don’t feel that right now. Part of that is just working on my own trust of God. Am re-reading Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. Reminds me how hard the message of grace is. Trust and gratitude, so basic, and so very hard to live out. Sigh. It’s what I’m thinking about right now, that and needing Christ, and needing people.

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I’d challenge us to quit using the word “relevant” all together when trying to define church. What would it look like to be a post-relevant culture? To stop playing catch up, to create rather than copy with the confidence that we have a direct connection with the greatest creator of all?

There was a time when I was all for relevance. Now, I’m really not sure if how much of American Christendom understands what it means to truly be relevant. I think that in trying to be relevant, the American church is making itself less relevant. Moreover, trying to copy popular culture, which by definition, is culture based on fleeting popularity, is just not a good idea. There are a lot of semantics involved in this discussion, and I don’t want to paint with too broad a brush, because really, it depends on specifically what a given church, organization, or person is doing to be relevant. So with that disclaimer, what does it mean to be relevant?

What do people need? Really need? Style may get people in the door, but substance is what keeps them involved. A life that isn’t just about them. Relationships with people who love each other. A God who is bigger than we can imagine.

I believe it’s important to UNDERSTAND culture. Culture is the context within which we communicate. If I, as a middle-class white American, were to move to inner city Denver, I wouldn’t instantly have shared meaning with people around me. There are a lot of things I’ve never experienced, wouldn’t understand, and even words that may have different meanings than I’m used to. How would I be relevant in that context? If I simply copied the culture around me and started to use the lingo, and did this before developing trust, that would likely make a lot of people cynical. I might even seem fake. I once listened to a pastor at a contemporary service who obviously was used to a more formal environment. He used an anecdote from the Spider-Man movie, and did so in a way that made me wonder if he’d even seen the movie. He failed to be relevant and to me, sounded like an idiot at that moment.

There are examples, though, of missionaries like Hudson Taylor in China:

The party donned Chinese clothing, notwithstanding - even the women missionaries - which was deemed semi-scandalous at the time. When other missionaries sought to preserve their British ways, Taylor was convinced that the Gospel would only take root in Chinese soil if missionaries were willing to affirm the culture of the people they were seeking to reach. He argued, from the example of the Apostle Paul, “Let us in everything not sinful become like the Chinese, that by all means we may save some.”

This is going beyond mere attempts at relevance to being incarnational. It’s letting go, dying to ourselves, taking the time to understand the culture of those around us, and involving ourselves in the lives of people around us. Do that, and relevance will be a byproduct. I realize, in saying all that, how hard it is to live that out. That’s precisely why we so often don’t do it and settle for creating a safe version of pop culture with a little Jesus thrown in where we can invite people on our terms. It’s easier than going to where people are at and being Jesus to them.

My thoughts on this are a work in progress. Am I on the right track or totally off base? Anything to add?

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What would things look like if Satan really took control of a city? Over a half century ago, Presbyterian minister Donald Grey Barnhouse offered his own scenario in his weekly sermon that was also broadcast nationwide on CBS radio. Barnhouse speculated that if Satan took over Philadelphia, all of the bars would be closed, pornography banished, and pristine streets would be filled with tidy pedestrians who smiled at each other. There would be no swearing. The children would say, “Yes, sir” and “No, ma’am,” and the churches would be full every Sunday . . . where Christ is not preached.

That’s not the typical response, but it rings true to me. Does it to you? One time when some friends and I were discussing evangelism, my friend was talking about people who need Christ, and then pulled out his photo ID. “This is a person who needs Jesus.” I was reminded of that myself recently, that I am in need of Jesus, not as a means to an end, but that I simply need Jesus Christ. Sometimes, though, that notion gets lost, and then I try to be good…and then it becomes about me.

A few more quotes from the chapter:

If we are good people who have lost our way but with the proper instructions and motivation can become a better person, we need only a life coach, not a redeemer.

Aside from the packaging, there is nothing that cannot be found in most churches today that could not be satisfied by any number of secular programs and self-help groups.

Let me be a little more precise about what I am assuming to be the regular diet in many churches across America today: “do more, try harder.”

So, in my view, we are living out our creed, but that creed is closer to the American Dream than it is to the Christian faith.

Horton is a Reformed 5 Point Calvinist. I read his book on the topic, Putting Amazing Back Into Grace, many years ago. I came away with a respect for the theology, even though I didn’t embrace it. It’s all the more interesting to me, though, that Tom Sine, who is a Mennonite, and who comes from a totally different perspective, said something similar to the last quote above, “For all the talk about the lordship of Jesus, my generation sold the young the American dream with a little Jesus overlay.”

Maybe that’s why I wonder about Christianity at times. Sometimes it seems to be no more than a philosophy of life. One of my good friends detests self-help books. When I was at the bookstore yesterday, it occurred to me how many books were ‘how to’ books espousing their ‘answer’ to some question. It bothered me. I’ve read quite a few self-help books, many of them written by Christians. They have their place, but at some point, all the formulas fall flat. Increasingly, I find myself liking books that don’t have formulas, that point out that most things worth doing are hard and take effort. Jesus didn’t come to answer our questions and give us a philosophy of how to live. He came to be the answer and to give us life.

And with that, I’ll read the rest of Horton’s book as soon as the library gets it in.

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I’ve been doing a fair amount of soul searching of late, and haven’t been in church services as much. Even before I went this morning, I was thinking that what I miss when I’m not there is the part that is hard to quantify, the part that is mystical, that part that God does which is beyond understanding. God can work anywhere, and does. But when we strip away all the details of what makes a church service, there is simply a bunch of people who gather, some happy, some broken, some rich, some poor, and we all bow at the foot of the cross in need of Christ and worship. There’s a beauty to it. And this morning, that’s what I love about gathering together.

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I reached a point yesterday where my stress level from the last few weeks peaked. I looked at my computer and cell phone, left them on the table, and walked out the door. I drove 45 minutes to Estes Park, which is a nice town to walk around near Rocky Mountain National Park. That’s what I did, walked around. Exploring is one of the most energizing activities for me, especially when there is no pace or agenda to it. I then drove down to The Coffee Tree in Loveland and had a nice latte while browsing their bookstore. I bought a few books on culture.

I returned home rather rested. We live in a society that has more information and connections than we could ever possibly absorb. And sometimes, we just need to step away, turn off the computer, turn off the phone, and integrate Sabbath into our lives. When I don’t do this, I feel it. I recognize that we, as humans, are capable of a lot, and that we oftentimes sell ourselves short, but on the other hand, we do have concrete limits. We only have so much time and energy. And while having discipline and focus are good things to have in our lives, life is more than something to be managed.

I don’t want to downplay the importance of work, but playing is not the time in between work and sleep. Playing has value in and of itself. And it’s not just that play can re-energize us for work, but we just simply won’t work as well without times of play.

Being always on is stressful. There are a lot of people in my industry preaching the value the social media for business and other organizations. I read one post about church that used Twitter in their church service. Yes, social media has lots of possibilities to initiate or maintain connection. But it’s value goes down if we don’t step away. And it’s value goes down significantly if it keeps us from connecting from people face-to-face, in soul-to-soul conversation. That’s another thing that energizes me: deep conversation. With all the potential the Internet has, I sometimes don’t stop long enough to truly connect.

It’s interesting for me to write posts like this, or even this blog, when I am part of an Internet marketing business, and marketing our business through other channels. I’m breaking the rules by talking about religion and sharing personal weakness. At least, that’s the convention wisdom. I’m too often influenced by lists other people make, because I forget that leadership often means going against convention wisdom. Further, on the Internet, I could argue that rules are highly subjective. The rules on the Internet, for a Christian, are no different than anywhere else: love one another. That means not tearing down people, not taking the easy way out, maybe having that hard conversation and doing so in person.

It means having that Sabbath and resting in God. For to love, I must be loved.

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I really like their album Small Planes, and in particular, the song Small Planes:

I know what you mean,
when you want to run to meet the world,
intentions may not carry you far.

I want to be like Sister Veronica,
whose life connects with so many lives.

My words to him
they didn’t touch him, not at all.
And I never can say what I mean to say.

Small planes are here
but they never leave my room at all.

Full lyrics are here, at the bottom of the page.

This is one of those songs that conveys a lot with very few words. It’s a song I feel, the sense of longing and disappointment. Musings about what we desire to be, what we desire to do, and how often we, just, don’t get anywhere, don’t end up being what we envision. This song isn’t about conclusions. It’s more about the journey, and the heart beyond it. And sometimes, it’s just nice to know I’m not the only one who feels like this.

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It’s hard to have faith if there’s nothing I can do. It’s easier if I have a part to play. Perhaps, though, there really isn’t such a thing as passive faith. For prayer is an action as much as loving my neighbor. Even then, I feel I’m missing the point. Because really, it’s about relationship. If there’s a relationship, suddenly that whole trust thing becomes a whole lot easier.

Thoughts?

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The book is a collection of essays from his blog, also titled Refractions.
The layout is visually appealing, with paintings shown along with the text, but the heart of the book is the essays. They have a depth to them, and read like one who it going on a journey while sharing what he’s seeing and learning. There are some multicultural themes, as he draws from his Japanese heritage and life in New York City. And of course, he sees the world as one who is both a creative artist and a follower of Christ.

From the introduction:

In my studio, I use ground minerals such as malachite and azurite, layering them to create prismatic refractions, or “visual jazz.” Via my art I hope to create a mediated reality of beauty, hope, and reconciled relationships and cultures. As a founding elder of the Village Church, I have found that mediation of any kind is never black-and-white but prismatic and complex too. In order to find hope, even in the midst of the broken and torn fragments of relationships, in order to begin to journey into the heart of the divide, we must first wrest with the deeper issues of faith. We must be willing to be broken ourselves into prismatic shards by the Master Artist, so that Christ’s light can be refracted in us.

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