The findings of scientific research (e.g., in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT) have shown that what you think about and what you believe have a tremendous impact not on only your mood, but also on your ability to accomplish what you set out to do in life. Here’s a great example to help get you started:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. ~ Philippians 4:4-8

If you’re like a lot of other people these days, then this probably happens to you more often than you like.

Maybe you have difficulty driving? Shopping in a store? Eating in a restaurant? Maybe you can’t do your job well because you get too shaky during meetings. Does the thought of giving a presentation on Monday ruin your entire weekend?

If any of these issues sound familiar to you, you are NOT alone! The good news is you CAN learn to control your anxiety, take back your life, and create the future you envision for yourself. If you’re ready to get help in fighting the battle against fear, panic, and anxiety, Dr. Jennifer Fee is here to help with this FREE Audio Download [mp3]!

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6

We tend to layer our feelings as a means of self-protection from additional harm, and forgiveness is frequently a process of “working through” these layers. For some, forgiveness is accomplished through the spiritual disciplines (prayer, meditation, solitude, etc.). For others, it may require work with a professional Christian counselor who not only understands how difficult forgiveness can be, but who also knows how to get them “unstuck” and moving forward in the process. Both require the intimate guidance of the Holy Spirit.

God has also given us the ability to remember as a means of self-protection (e.g., when we touch a hot stove and get burned, we remember not to touch it again). However, remembering has a “flip side” as well, in that we often need to work through the forgiveness process multiple times. Be encouraged: It does get easier and less painful, especially as you grow in understanding the process. Dr. Louis Smedes (1996; Fuller Theological Seminary) wrote a very readable book (available in paperback) on this topic: Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve.

Anyone struggling with unforgiveness needs (and deserves) someone to help them work through this very painful process. If you’re feeling stuck and would like to talk to a professional Christian counselor, please visit our Directory.

by Dr. Jennifer Fee

Thoughts are a powerful trigger for anxiety. Our cognitions can maintain, elevate, or lower our level of anxiety.  Today I would like to give you a few tips to help you identify thoughts that might be contributing to your anxiety, as well as show you how a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT) might help you to start to address those thoughts.

First, let me tell you about two clients, Jim* and Alice.  Like virtually all of my clients who suffer from panic attacks or high levels of anxiety, Jim was sharing with me how scary and terrible it is to experience his physical symptoms. “It’s like nothing else,” he stated, “my heart starts pounding, I’m out of breath, I’m lightheaded, I can’t stand the feelings!” I looked at Jim. He was an active 21-year-old college student. At this point in our therapy I did not know much about what he liked to do for fun, but on a hunch I asked, “Jim, do you like to ride roller coasters?“

He paused, and said, “Well, yes, actually I love roller coasters.” “What do you like about them?” I queried. Jim replied, “I like anticipation of going up a big hill. I love the speed and the quick turns.” “What are you feeling in your body as you’re going up the hill?” Jim grinned. He had already caught on to where I was going with the questions. “Well, my heart is pounding, I feel butterflies in my stomach.” “And how do you feel when you get off the roller coaster?” I continued. “Light-headed. It’s hard to walk. A little out of breath.“

“Basically you feel the same symptoms in your body while riding a roller coaster as when you are experiencing a panic attack while sitting on your sofa.” “But, it’s not the same!” Jim protested at first, “riding roller coasters is fun. Having a panic attack is not!“

Jim’s argument essentially made my point for me. His cognitive interpretation of riding roller coasters is that it is fun. His cognitive interpretation of a panic attack is that it is terrible.

For those of you who cannot fathom anyone believing that riding a roller coaster could be fun, I will tell you about Alice. Alice was an avid exerciser. Alice was also afraid of when she experienced anxiety that she would have a heart attack because her heart was beating fast. “Alice,” I asked, “Why do you run on the treadmill every morning?” Alice looked at me as if I had just asked a very dumb question. “Cardiovascular exercise is good for my heart,” she replied. “So you make your heart beat fast on purpose?” “Well, yes, of course.” “And that doesn’t scare you?”, I continued. “Of course not!” She replied, a little annoyed.

Again, same symptom but a different interpretation. One interpretation leads to panic, the other no panic.

Interpretation of thoughts is key for controlling anxiety.

Identifying Thoughts

In order to change your interpretation about anxiety, you must first have a lot of knowledge of what your thoughts are. Countless times I’ve asked people “What were you thinking when you started feeling anxious?” Countless times I’ve gotten the answer, “I don’t know.” It may sound amazing, but it is possible to have thoughts without being aware that we’re having thoughts. [read more] ]]> http://www.christianpsychologyresources.com/news/?feed=rss2&p=142 0 http://www.christianpsychologyresources.com/news/?p=142 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ChristianPsychologyNews/~3/p0iYw4b8nh4/ http://www.christianpsychologyresources.com/news/?p=138#comments Sun, 05 Jul 2009 17:20:47 +0000 mail@christianpsychologyresources.com http://www.christianpsychologyresources.com/news/?p=138

“This is my commandment: that you love one another as I have loved you.” ~ John 15:12

It sounds good. Jesus said it, so we know it’s right. But sometimes loving others in our daily interactions can be quite a challenge. If we love one another as Christ loves us, what do we do differently than everyone else does?

Indeed, love is one of God’s most important gifts to anyone, yet there are many misunderstandings about how to make love work in our families, friendships, marriages and dating relationships. In Loving People: How to Love and Be Loved, best-selling author Dr. John Townsend shows you that love can actually be learned, and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love.

Using his trademark stories and illustrations to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers:

• receiving love
• connecting love
• healing love
• confronting love
• romantic love
• surrendering love

For some families, it’s not exactly a walk in the park. If you’re having a hard time finding ways for your children or adolscents to get along better, you might want to contact a Christian counselor in your area. Many work with “regular” families like yours. We could all use a little help gaining a fresh perspective at times, right? And we have some great folks in Our Directory, so there’s probably someone nearby who’d love to help. Why not give them a call this week?

Here’s to a Happy Summer!
Dr. Debi Smith

A counselor should be someone who . . .

• loves people, perseveres through tough times, and is confident that Jesus works in his needy people
• believes that God’s Word is designed and provided by God to provide sufficient counsel for all of life’s issues (2 Pet. 1:2-4; Heb. 4:12; 2 Tim. 3:16-17)
• gives clear evidence of a vital personal relationship with Jesus Christ
• your pastor (or trusted Christian friend) believes would provide wise, biblical, loving, and faithful counsel

Steps you should take

1. Pray. Ask God for wisdom as you seek a Christian counselor. God promises to give you wisdom if you ask for it in faith (James 1:5-8). As you step out in faith, he will direct your steps to the right counselor. (See also Psalm 23, Proverbs 16:3 and Philippians 4:6-9.)
2. Seek counsel from your church. If you belong to a church, seek the counsel of your pastor (Heb. 13:17) and other church leaders, as well as wise, trustworthy Christian friends. Will they help you? Can they recommend someone who can? The Bible says there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors (Prov. 11:14; 15:22; and 24:6). If you do not belong to a church, seek the counsel of godly, Bible-believing Christians. They may be able to recommend wise and godly pastors who can help shepherd you.
3. Seek outside counsel, if necessary. In some cases, wise, biblical counsel might not be found in the leadership of a church. Or you may not belong to a church, so you are trying to find biblical counsel outside the church context. In these cases, the “Questions to Ask” in the next section can help you make a wise decision.