Christiangurl

Knowing God Through My Experiences!

2026-09-04T17:57:50.735+05:30

I have shared my testimony here many times of how I was diagnosed with brain tumour at 20yrs while studying engineering and then again it recurred after 3yrs and how my dad was diagnosed with blood cancer exactly 10 months after my 2^nd surgery. The storms kept hitting from my 20^th yr and ended with my dad’s passing due to cancer in my 30^th year. There were my surgeries, MRI’S, treatments, Dad’s chemotherapies, ICU’s, hospital visitations, endless and countless reports and then dad’s cancer relapsing just before my sister’s marriage and he passing away in 2020. So I and my sister somewhere stopped believing anything good would ever happen to us. Our brains became wired to expect only the worst news possible for our family. We felt like we were praying to a God who had abandoned us as a family and we just had to exist!

I didn’t doubt God’s existence. I did pray but subconsciously somewhere along the way I stopped expecting and hoping good from God. I can’t remember of a single year from 2009 which didn’t involve hospital visitations or at times one family member being admitted in the ICU. And everything stopped with Dad’s passing away. I prayed and hoped for dad’s healing but that didn’t happen. I have been praying for my complete healing and restoration of health for 13yrs now and that’s not happening either. (I still struggle with balance and co-ordination and therefore can’t balance myself and walk, along with many other nerve conditions).

I am still learning and knowing and tasting God’s goodness through my experiences and these are the 5 major things I understood:

1) I DON'T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING TO TRUST GOD. God has never asked us to understand everything that is happening to us and around us and all our circumstances and then trust him. HE just wants us to trust him. The book of Job tells us that. We see Job asking God ‘why was he suffering?’ (Job 3-31). We know the reason why he was in pain. We know Job chapter 1 and the scene in heaven and the dialogues between God and Satan but Job didn’t know any of that. He kept demanding and appealing to God for an answer. God did not condemn Job for crying out in his pain. God did answer Job in a whirlwind (Job 38:1). And although God responded with questions about HIS power over his creation, nature, animals, the earth's foundations or vastness of the universe compared to human understanding, HE did not answer the specific "why" questions Job was asking.

We know that God is a good God and we place our trust in God’s character. Moreover I believe a certain uncertainty is required for our faith to be completely activated. If I already have a back-up plan, I don’t have to rely on God and trust him completely. It is only when I am uncertain about my future, about my tomorrow, when I don’t have a bank balance to fall back on, I am struggling to see a future beyond the suffering and pain, I will exercise my complete faith and trust Him! Only then will I live by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). Only then will I be able to look beyond my now, beyond my present physical circumstances and move forward and not be stuck!

2) DON'T LEAVE GOD . Be near HIM. Stick with HIM. Do whatever you have to i.e., stand or sit or crawl or kneel or lie down at the foot of the cross but always stick to him even if you don't understand. I am again reminded of Job's life. When a series of disasters and losses happened one after the other and he lost all 10 of his children (Job 1:13 onwards) all in a single day; he fell down in worship (Job 1:13). I could not resonate with that. I have fallen on the ground but never was it as an act of worship. Infact when my dad passed away, I didn’t read the bible for months. But when Job’s sufferings prolonged, he questioned GOD wanting to know why he was in this suffering. He cursed the day he was born (Job 3:1). Now that was something I could easily relate to. Job questioned , argued and accused God of injustice and of being against him and complained directly to God. His prayers show us the depth of his pain and confusion, He could not reconcile why all these terrible things had happened to him and demanded an explanation from God himself. But with all this we see he never left God’s side. He didn’t curse God and die like his wife said(Job 2:9). Job was lamenting to God but he never left GOD.

Personally, I was always ‘okay’ with my brain-tumour but was ‘not okay’ with my Dad’s diagnosis. I complained, cried , reasoned, argued with God. Be vulnerable and honest with GOD. He doesn't want a 'put on' or 'façade'. We cannot fool HIM who knows our heart. He knows exactly how we feel and all our emotions. Being raw, unpolished, real , genuine and honest with God and bringing raw grief, anguish and honest questions to God in prayer is a form of faith, not a sin! But no matter what, Never leave HIM. Like Job said in 13 verse 15, ‘Though he slay me yet will i trust him….’. We trust God’s wisdom and sovereignty even when we do not understand why we suffer.

3) THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING FELLOWSHIP. Surround yourself with people who pray for you. When the sufferings get too hard and too much and you question everything including your existence and you are too tired and exhausted to pray, your fellow family believers will rise up and intercede for your family as their own. When I was suddenly diagnosed with tumor, I don’t remember my mom and dad ever being alone for my MRI or doctor appointments but like shadows to them my church elders were always present with them. My entire church gathered every evening at my place, fasted, knelt down, raised hands and cried loudly and prayed as if their own daughter was sick. My church showed me what it meant to pray for others as their own by literally being present, keeping aside everything but taking time after their work to come and join hands and cry and pray in unison. More than me it was an encouragement and support to my parents reminding them through actions that they were not alone. They were not only physically present but also brought food, washed dishes, cooked and cleaned if needed. When something like a brain-tumor or cancer happens, one really can’t change the circumstances or take the suffering and pain away of the person or family but 'by being present with your time' and not just saying ‘I will pray for you’ can really bring comfort to the family.

4) OUR GOAL IS ETERNITY; BEING A HEAVEN CITIZEN. This is not our home and we are just journeying through earth. Our focus is eternity, being with God eternally and suffering is needed for steadfastness, for humility, for setting us apart i.e. sanctification process. It is necessary for our growth as a Christian. As difficult it is to hear and understand but our faith will be challenged and tested and we will be subjected to pruning on earth because he is preparing our souls for heaven, for our home, for eternity with HIM. And moreover Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 that ‘we do not loose heart’ because our troubles and sufferings are ‘light which is but for a moment’ and '..... we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.’

5) GOD IS IN CONTROL; When negative reports would come in and when circumstances didn’t make sense , I would remind myself that God is in control. I would tell myself that this is not to harm me but to better me and I have a future (Jeremiah 29:11). God’s intention is to never harm us or make us suffer, but he has a plan and purpose for everything.

Every single thing that we go through in life has a reason that only God knows! But I know this, it is for our benefit , for our edification. It is for our humility as sufferings remind us of our limitations and keeps our pride in check. It is for our complete dependence on Sovereign God. It makes us shift our focus from temporary perishable things to our eternal hope. It produces endurance and character (Romans 5:3-4). It sanctifies us, purifies our souls (1 Peter 1:6-7) Experiencing trials equips us to empathize with others and comfort other believers so that we can be useful vessels for his kingdom. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). And above all it brings God glory (Romans 8:17-18) because Christ’s power is made perfect in weakness(2 Corinthians 12: 9-10).

We worship a good God who knows our every pain, every feeling, every thought of weary, every emotion, our heart, our intentions, our temptations, our doubts, our fear and he alone can give us hope, genuine joy and peace that passes all understanding. I have hope. Hope that I will get better on earth, that someday I will walk properly with complete balance but even if that doesn’t happen, I know I have the Great Hope of Eternity with HIM!

For me the bigger question that kept lingering was ’what if God doesn’t do that big miracle that I have been asking and praying for? Will I still trust HIM with everything?

Praising God With My Whole Heart?

2026-03-03T10:02:00.015+05:30

Psalms 9 is about Thanksgiving for the Lord's righteous judgement. It assures us that there is ultimate justice because there is a higher Judge. The psalmist David declares his wholehearted thankfulness to the Lord and recounts all of God's wonderful deeds and he is singing praises to the name of the Lord, the Most High.

But i had trouble understanding the first sentence itself.

V1- "I will praise you with my whole heart"

I Praise God but definitely not always with my whole heart!

When my dad passed away, i didn't read the Bible for a month because i didn't think it would be genuine! I had prayed for healing for my Dad’s cancer. I knew nothing is impossible with God! But the healing didn't happen and so i didn't genuinely feel like Praising God, not because of anger but because it wouldn't be genuine and honest. He knew that it would not be genuine. He knew it would be a facade!

Similarly now, a lot of struggles and feelings are trying to govern my heart and mind and one amongst them is a job in my field of counseling, for which i clear all the rounds and interviews but it boils down to the fact that i have physical limitations ( i am a brain-tumor survivor with balance issues, so i have difficulty walking and need support), which i acknowledge but also makes me wonder why hasn't God healed me yet?

And so me writing about “Praising God with my whole heart" would be a facade when i, myself am mentally struggling to do it! I don't like preaching what I don't practice. So I don't want to write about Praising.

But then I was reminded by a friend that we don't Praise God for what he has done or not done for us but we Praise God for who HE is!

We Praise God because He is a Good God!

We Praise God because He is worthy.

We Praise God because He is Sovereign.

We Praise God for HE is our Saviour, who has given us the free gift of salvation that guarantees that our soul won't perish and will have eternity with him. And he is with us in our struggles, in our pit-conditions.

Knowing that this is not the end, your earthly struggles has an end, your situation whether physical, mental or financial has an end and inspite of things not making sense to you right now , all that He is asking from us is to Trust him! To exercise our faith and In that faith Praise God for his goodness. To not just go with our feelings and emotions but our knowledge of his Sovereignty!

God knows our heart. And He knows our genuineness. He sees our deepest struggles. He knows that it is not a pretend or façade. He doesn't judge us but accepts us the way we are and where our heart is at!! Nothing is hidden from him! And I find great solace in knowing that he knows our heart!

Our Assurance!!

2026-01-15T00:27:36.946+05:30

Mark 14:34- " My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death......"

Jesus uses the words "exceedingly sorrowful " expressing his distress so intense that it felt like death. He describes his overwhelming grief and equates it with physical death.

We know on earth, Jesus was completely God who performed various miracles but at the same time was completely human who had gone through experiences a human being goes through in his lifetime. This verse is one such human experience of him being overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death!

Jesus fell to the ground in that overwhelming grief and prayed by first reminding and telling God all things are possible by you (V36) and so take this suffering away from me but then again let Your Will be done.

We all at some point in our life have gone through or will go through sufferings and sometimes those sufferings might feel like death. But we have a God who knows exactly our every emotion , our every feeling and our every thought because he has gone through it all : sorrows, hardships and even temptations.

So when he says " Cast all your cares upon me in (1 Peter 5:7) or "Fear not for I Am with you and be not dismayed for i am your God ...in (Isaiah 41:10) , he completely understands and empathizes with our individual situations.

Even the thoughts that doesn't align with HIS WILL just like Jesus is saying that "take this suffering from me" is not foreign or new to Him. He doesn't allow something to happen and leave us there but he carries us in his arms and is watching over us! V34 also highlights Jesus's vulnerability and need for companionship and prayer from his closest friends.

We worship a God who understands us and our assurance lies in that fact!

Be Like Jesus Series - His Prayer Life!

2025-12-11T14:32:00.006+05:30

Mark 1: 35 (NIV)" Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." This prayer was done after a busy day of ministry, including healing many people and casting out demons late into the night. This shows that even for Jesus, power and purpose came from his private time spent with God i.e. power to do his ministry and his purpose because following this prayer, when his disciples found him and said everyone was looking for him, Jesus stated that he needed to go to the nearby villages to preach, which was the purpose for which he came. This action shows the importance of prayer in Jesus's life, a habit of seeking private devotion with God. It shows Jesus’s dependence on God and he was prioritizing his relationship with the Father.

It is mentioned "as usual" (Luke 22:39-41 NIV) Jesus went to a solitary place or lonely places to pray ( Luke 5:16 NIV), away from chaos or the crowd or the disciples and alone with God.

Jesus turned to 'his source', his father in prayer, when he was in need in the Garden of Gethsemane, for strength and guidance. The Bible accounts this event in all four gospels where the Son of God and Son of Man is in urgent need .(Mattthew 26:36, Mark 14:32, John 18:1)

He prayed when he was in pain on the cross. He cried out in desperation and suffering (Matthew 27:46)

He prayed the night before choosing his 12 disciples. Jesus spent the night praying to God (Luke 6:12)- i.e., before important decisions.

Jesus prayed for others. In Matthew 19:13 (NIV), we read, “Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them.” And In John 17:9 we see Jesus praying for his disciples and all believers (v20) .This emphasizes the need for intercessory prayer.

Jesus not only prayed alone but also with others. Luke 9:28 (NIV) says, “[Jesus] took Peter, John and James with Him and went up onto a mountain to pray.”

And also Acts 1:14 shows us the importance of Christians praying with one another: “They all joined together constantly in prayer …”

So it was a common practice for Jesus, the SON OF GOD, to pray! Therefore, It is important that “Quiet time with God” become a non-negotiable practice that a Christian must do daily like eating food or drinking water or just breathing. Just like our carnal body needs oxygen to survive, spending time with God should become vital for our spiritual growth. Quiet time with God is you being alone with God worshiping, praying and meditating on his word. Prayer is having conversations with God which can happen throughout the day.

Consulting with God first and HE being our “go-to“ source and space in all matters of life is important and Paul says in Ephesians 6:18(NIV) ,“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests….”

Pray all kinds of prayers, i.e. you can pray for healing of cancer and you can pray for the smallest thing you can think of, in the same breathe. Pray on all occasions but always remember him and allow him to be part of your life for that is what he desires. And also”…. always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people." i.e., for others too!

THE BIGGER PICTURE!

2025-09-13T09:45:00.009+05:30

As I was reading the passage from 1 peter 5: 5- 11(NKJV), which is about Submitting To God And Resisting The devil, the latter half of verse 10 said “……after you have suffered for a while; perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.’ I got stuck on the phrase ‘suffered for a while’.

Lately my mind has been wrestling with that word ‘while.' I know of God’s goodness. I have tasted and experienced it personally, I know of God’s Sovereignty. I know that nothing is impossible with God. There is not an iota of doubt in my mind about his capability to perform miracles or HIS grace or HIS mercy or HIS perfect ways or HIS perfect time. BUT it’s been 13 years since my last brain-surgery, since I have walked around without any help. I have had 2 brain-surgeries at the age of 20 and then again it recurred at 23 alongwith 28 sittings of radiations. I have had Cushing Syndrome due to consumption of steroids and in the process lost my ability to balance and walk. And even though I am recovering , it is not happening at the rate that I had in my mind!

I thought i had made peace with everything that happened to me and how my future would be different than others and how my original plan of being an engineer (I was studying engineering) was not going to happen but I thought atleast by now I’d be able to balance myself completely and walk just like before. And that did not happen! So that phrase “…suffered for a while..” was getting difficult to read and accept.

I don’t know how long is that ‘for a while.’ Infact i don't think anyone knows the exact time! But we know that 2 Peter 3:8 says ‘But do not forget this one thing, with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.’ Everyone goes through struggles; it could be physical, financial, emotional, mental, spiritual, etc. Waiting patiently in our ‘for a while’ time without any doubts , fear, anxious thoughts is difficult and seems an impossible task on human level and therefore it tells us how much more do we need God’s grace to move forward , God’s peace to calm our racing heart and restless thoughts, the HOLY SPIRIT to help us (John 14:15-18) , guide us and remind us of HIS words and HIS promises (John 14:26).

I had read somewhere that ‘ A certain uncertainty is required for our faith to be fully activated.’ Only when we are uncertain about our future and the road seems blurry, we tend to completely lean on God and fully TRUST HIM. Only then we will hold HIS hand, fix our eyes on HIM and take a step and move forward, even in darkness.

My time i.e. my ‘ for a while- time' was definitely lesser than 13 yrs and so I was getting restless and impatient and comparing and not focussing on God’s time.

But the same v10 continues with ‘…after you have suffered a while’ i.e after this suffering which is a temporary and momentary suffering ( 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 NKJV, Romans 8:18 NKJV), comes God's action of making us perfect , establishing us, strengthening us and settling us, in our faith. God uses these verbs perfect, establish, strengthen and settle to describe His work through suffering. He will restore us and make our faith whole , steadfast, secure and firm.

In God’s economy sufferings are not random and never useless. They teach us and refine us of our impurities just like a blacksmith. HE is perfecting our faith in our every situation! God sees the bigger and the entire picture! And so HIS ways and timings are different. We just have to trust him!

^{2
Corinthians 4:16-18 (NKJV) :-}

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

GOD IS RECORDING!

2023-07-27T19:09:00.003+05:30

When I was reading Nehemiah chapter 3, which is about rebuilding the wall and the different gates of the wall by various people, I came across lot of names of builders building different gates. The entire chapter was just names as to who rebuilt which section of which gate and who repaired what and the different goldsmiths and the perfume-makers, etc. It was a bunch of names and I was so tempted to skip the chapter as usual, because reading a bunch of names that we can’t even pronounce is not fun. And we are not “particularly” gaining any “insight” or being “spiritually awakened” from reading names. After all, we all have skipped chapters in Exodus with names!

I remember an Achen(priest) had once, in my Sunday School class, said that you shouldn’t skip any chapter of the Bible because of names but read it entirely because what if God asks you about it when you meet him, then you’ll be lying if you say otherwise.

So, while reading the chapter 3, as fast as I could inorder to jump to the next, I realized that but God has documented everyone. He has taken note of every single individual who had contributed in the process of rebuilding the gates and the wall. He mentions them by name. He took the entire chapter 3 to just let us know about their contributions. God, even goes into the details of telling us as to which person is he talking about exactly and he is the son of whom and what did he do for rebuilding the gate like did he lay beams and put its door and bolts and bar in place(v3,6,13,14) or was he a goldsmith making repairs or a perfume-maker?

We know that all scripture is God-breathed, God-inspired (2 timothy 3:16), so then God remembers everyone and everything they had done for rebuilding the wall and documented it and gave it to us to read. It had to be important and worth mentioning for God otherwise he wouldn’t have handed it to us. This chapter is so re-assuring to us believers. We know Colossians 3:23-24, mentions that whatever we do, we should do it with all our heart, not working for human masters but working as if for the Lord Christ himself and he will reward you. Sometimes our efforts go unseen or unnoticed or unknowledged by people around us, especially in church settings! But this chapter assures us that nothing goes unnoticed by God. Even if we arrange chairs or bench seats for others to sit during worship service or arrange or organize food or water for the members or clean or dust the veranda of the church or just organize the shoe rack so that others don’t trip and fall, these acts are surely being recorded by God.

Just like these men's effort to rebuild and repair the wall didn’t go unnoticed by God and they will be called by name and rewarded, we too will be rewarded for our small acts or gestures!

It's The Attitude!!

2022-02-01T13:06:00.000+05:30

Today in the morning while listening to Dr. Charles Stanley share from the passage of The Prodigal Son (Luke 15: 11-31),

He commented on how quick we all usually are to study about the younger brother who left home and went away to a far-away country with his portion and lived in Sin. But we tend to overlook the older brother who didn’t leave home, who was with the father the whole time; who faithfully served his father. And yet this very older brother, was filled with unforgiveness, bitterness, jealousy, self-righteousness, was disrespectful as soon as he felt he was betrayed or wronged. His attitude steered towards bitterness at the drop of an unpleasant circumstance. (luke 15:28-30)

That’s very true!

We usually sit and study and analyze the younger lost son’s actions and maybe, sometimes , compare ourselves with him. But what if we are like the other older brother, who never left home, who never left his father’s side , who served him and never disobeyed the father (Luke 15: 29) , did everything right unlike his rebellious younger brother but yet his attitude changed instantly and he had anger towards his father (Luke 15:28,29) , was jealous and so bitter towards his brother and with an unforgiving attitude to the point where he is referring to his own brother as ‘this son of yours’(v30)!

Just because we Know all about HIM (God) or HIS WORD doesn’t mean we won’t be having any bitterness in us. The Pharisees and Sadducees knew all about God, knew His Word and yet they failed miserably to even recognize The Son of God! They were determined to keep The Law but they didn’t care to align their attitude according to His Word!

The younger brother ,in this passage, is described as lost ,who had left home , left the father and had gone away to live life on his own terms, without wanting to conform to his father’s household but when later he realized his mistakes, the sin he had committed against his father, he had a change of heart and he came back to the very same house he had chosen to leave and he repented and asked forgiveness to his father and was ready to serve him as one of his servant.

So even if we go astray and wander away to a far away land, away from home, away from the Father or if we stay with HIM throughout, he is only concerned with us coming back to Him , remaining in Him and our attitude being right with Him . God examines our heart, he searches our heart (Romans 8:27. Psalms 139:23-24), he examines our motives and intentions and rewards us accordingly. Being with him i.e. being born as a Christian does not mean we are better than others or does not guarantee us eternal life with Him.

Like the father who celebrated the return of the lost and dead son; God celebrates us, if we find him, repent, ask forgiveness and choose to remain in HIM,

He will make us Alive - that’s His promise!

Our Focus!!

2021-09-16T19:08:00.007+05:30

I imagine The Apostle Paul's life when he was Saul. It would have been a good life before! He would have definitely been a part of an elite group of learned scholars. He was a Pharisee, a Hebrew of Hebrews, of the tribe of Benjamin and he referred to himself as faultless and righteous, based on law (Philippians 3:4-5). Also, considering his status and position, his lineage, his sincere zeal and passion for the Pharisaic laws and his religion: prestige, privilege and power would have been synonymous with his name.

But then when he chose to go by his Roman name Paul, when he became a follower of Jesus Christ, he experienced a 180 degree flip in his life. He went from one extreme elite, “looked-up-by-the-world” group to the other extreme hardships–filled, sufferings and prison-filled, being beaten and flogged by people and authorities equally, “looked-down-by-the-world” group. His only constant certainty in life was the uncertainty in his life! Most of the time, he didn’t know where he would be going next or what he would be doing next . He would do and act according to The Holy Spirit’s guidance. But he was sure that wherever or whatever it was, it involved hardships and prisons (Acts 20:21-24). He tells us that hardships, ship wreck, death- like feelings and many unpleasant experiences and circumstances were a part of his life. This certainly does not seem like a good deal to land up with or from Paul’s life we see that ,being a follower of Christ doesn’t mean a problem-free lifestyle. But then having tasted both lives, Paul concludes that the former prestigious things were a garbage, were a loss but his only gain was in Christ (Philippians 3:7-9). He would rather boast about his present circumstantial hardships than his former derived status or qualifications! King Solomon, the wisest, wealthiest king ever, had come to a similar conclusion in Ecclesiastes.

I believe that the way he dealt with the uncertainties in his life and endured everything was because of his strategy of “shifting his focus”! Like I had mentioned in my previous article (lThe Ultimate Goal), he just shifts his focus ! He shifts his focus from Him to GOD, from the SEEN to the UNSEEN. And in the process of informing and giving an account to others through his letters, he is also giving himself a self-talk, an assurance and a re-assurance, a reminder to keep going through the storms because in the end of all this, there is eternal life with God. It is as if Paul is telling himself that these are the hardships that i have faced but then i have had God on my side, i have been abandoned by my own people but I have had God all along! So then just keep going and fight the good fight, focus on finishing the race but don’t loose your faith in the process!(2 timothy 4:7)

Paul enjoyed God’s joy and peace even amidst trials. He experienced God’s privilege, power, peace, providence, presence- a different set of ‘P’’s because God’s economy functions differently than the world’s. Paul was in love with God and he considered everything that was happening was beneficial for God’s glory and the advancement of HIS kingdom on earth. He considered it a privilege to be chosen by God to be used as a part of HIS great plan. He acknowledged his problems but refused to dwell in the uncertainties of his life instead chose to rest in God’s certain and omniscient character.

Focusing on our goal while keeping our faith intact is one of the many things we can adopt from Paul! Our focus is eternity. We should not loose our sight from it.

Also, We live by faith and not by sight!

Our Ultimate Goal!!

2021-05-13T11:40:00.007+05:30

2 Corinthians 4:15-18

15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed Day by day.
17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, Since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal

This is one of my go-to verses when I am feeling low and exhausted or anxious or stressful or worthless or hopeless because it instantly makes me feel just the opposite of all those words. Though The Bible as a whole, has the ability to change you, your feelings, your emotions and give you peace because it is filled with hope and promises for future. After all : ALL scripture is God-breathed (2 Timothy 3:16) and it is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12)!

But here, we see, Paul is writing to the Christians in Corinth and reminding them of the ultimate goal! So then, these verses are telling me and you that whatever is happening in our life right now; right this moment or whatever has happened to us is all for our benefit(v15). We may not agree or beg to differ from that thought or fail to understand the “how is it beneficial to me?” part but nonetheless IT IS for OUR BENEFIT!! These words remind us to not lose heart because outwardly, our life might seem worthless and wasteful but inwardly we are being renewed, pruned, polished and being prepared to be eligible citizens of heaven and this is taking place on a daily basis(v16)! We are in the process of acquiring permanent residency.

(v17) And then in the next verse Paul compares our giant, never-ending ,only-targeted towards me, more-than-i-can-bear troubles to just light and momentary troubles. Easier said then done but Paul knew what afflictions and sufferings meant! He, himself, had been through prisons, had been beaten with rods, pelted with stones, was flogged severely, shipwrecked, was in danger from his own fellow Jews, from gentiles, from robbers, he was in danger in the city, in the country, sea, had experienced hunger ,thirst, sleeplessness, have been cold and naked. These were just some of the outward, physical sufferings he had mentioned in 2 Corinthians 11:23-29. He had been through death-like sufferings(v23) along with his mental ,emotional ,spiritual sufferings causing him immense pain to the point of inward burns(v29)! So Paul is well aware of afflictions and sufferings!

But when Paul is mentioning about the light and momentary troubles(NIV), he is also giving us a solution, i.e., Shifting Our Focus! From us to God, from the seen to the unseen , from our present circumstances to the future eternal glory it will bring!! He is asking us to fix our eyes on eternity(v18), OUR ULTIMATE GOAL! He is encouraging us to see our present sufferings as achievements (v17) that will sum up to nothing as compared to the weight of the eternal glory in store for us. And all this sufferings and troubles are beneficial for us; for our ministry on earth because it will cause thanksgiving to overflow and bring God glory, again our goal on earth!

He is encouraging you and me to shift our focus from this temporary, earthly, bodily abode to our permanent eternal abode!

If God's love for His children is to be measured by our health, wealth and comfort in this life, then God hated The Apostle Paul - John Piper

Blind Faith!

2021-03-14T18:12:00.027+05:30

In Luke 5:4 Jesus is telling Simon (Peter) “Put into deep water and let down the net for a catch.”

Jesus is talking to Peter in the context of catching fish i.e. go into deep water, away from the surface , let down your net and you will end up catching fish

Now,I feel, this verse has a very deep meaning in itself for us. 'Go deep... for a catch' i.e. we should go deep , dive deep into the Word inorder to Completely understand what God is trying to speak to us through his Word .We can’t just float on the surface and search for something deep and meaningful. We should be willing to not just read but meditate and study His word and seek His help. We should be ready to take our boats and go deep with Him, letting down our guard, our pride, our shields and being vulnerable and honest about our emotions with God and telling Him how exactly we feel and asking God to intervene! We have to dive deep!

Another noticeable phrase for me was how Simon (Peter) is saying in v5 “…Because you say so, I will let down the net”….i.e. I will do it, no questions asked! Peter must have, of course heard about Jesus, the Teacher because he is addressing him as Master (NIV) and also, he didn’t object or show any discomfort when Jesus decided to get into his boat and teach. Peter was willing to do what Jesus told him to do inspite of working hard all night(v5). He mentioned about the working “hard all-night” part to Jesus with maybe an intention to tell him that I and my companions are physically tired and drained from putting the net out into the water against the waves with no prominent light source at night, frustrated that we didn’t catch any fish inspite of trying again and again all-night, exhausted, hungry, irritated and just very sleepy! Imagine working all-night long with absolutely no result! Catching fish needs physical strength and alertness and also they had already washed their nets too.

But instead of using any of these as excuses Peter said…. ‘ because you said so'....I will go forward with your word and just do as you say. And when they did(v7), they caught way too many fish to the point that their nets began to break and their boats began to sink ; Not just full but in abundance(v7). God gives in abundance (same is seen in Matthew 14:13-21 , John 6:1-14 where Jesus feeds the 5000 and 12 baskets with leftovers were collected) but we should be willing to go deep with Him and then obey Him when he tells us to do something with no if’s and but’s from our part. Many times our practicality seeps in, our thinking and reasoning seeps in. We rely on our decisions and tend to grow impatient with God. Though we may be physically and emotionally drained and tired with no strength to move but if we choose to rely just on Him with complete blind faith just like Peter is seen doing here, we will receive in abundance!

Falling to the ground.. .is it in worship or in pain?

2020-11-19T11:42:00.009+05:30

".....he fell to the ground in worship!"…Job 1:20

There is nothing unusual about this verse to understand because it's very common for us to fall on our knees and praise and worship! ! We all do it or have done it!
But it's very uncommon and extremely difficult for us to fall down and "worship", especially just after hearing a series of losses and disasters!!
Job is seen here doing just that!!
Job lost everything...Everything!! His wealth, his property,his life-long earnings and most importantly his children….all ten of them, on a single day!!
How great and unimaginable must be that loss!!

In a matter of some hours,he was informed about the losses that happened ,the disasters that had taken place and the deaths of his loved ones...one after the other! Hearing all this ,he got up, tore his clothes and shaved his head; an act of intense sorrow and pain! And then fell to the ground in worship!

Job is described as a rich , righteous, God-fearing man! He was blameless in the sight of God and men... described by God himself(Job 1:8) but then came the dramatic suddenness of his great trials. Job's falling down had immense pain which is totally understandable but it's different because it also involved worship...just hours after hearing a series of losses !!

This verse is very hard for me to mimic. I had written this article and saved it in my draft on 24^th January,this year,with my dad sitting next to me. Little did I know that exactly 2 months later, on 24^thof March, i wouldn’t have him with me,on earth! And my response was nowhere next to Job’s! Infact I couldn’t bring myself to pray or praise or read the bible for months because I felt it wouldn’t have been genuine worship and God knows my heart! He knew i was in pain and it would have been a façade!

But we happen to worship a God who completely understands us, knows us, gets our every emotion,wants us to come to him with all our raw, honest sadness and disappointments. He never expects us to be perfect and inhuman but wants us to approach him as we are,however we think, with all our doubts and insecurities. All he wants from us is to just approach him and have a relationship with him! And most importantly he will never leave us nor forsake us(Hebrews 13:5)!

So...i , like many others, have definitely fallen on the ground, crying with a broken heart but never have I responded in worship as instant as Job.

Maybe i didn't publish it back then so that it could help me understand the character of Job and the maturity of his faith much better!He didn't worship God for the things God could offer but just because He is Sovereign God!! And also the certainty of God's character ,his unchanging and unfathomable love for us irrespective of our behaviour,our anxieties,our fears or our subjective feelings towards God. This Merciful and immensely Gracious God is taking care of us along with the entire universe and he is shaping us and preparing us for eternity! God is in control! And God is good!

“Our faith is not a facade we erect to convince ourselves and others that pain doesn’t hurt—it is an oak tree that can withstand the storms of doubt and pain in our lives, and grow stronger through them.”

― Vaneetha Rendall Risner, The Scars That Have Shaped Me: How God Meets Us in Suffering

To my Dad.........

2020-04-21T00:35:00.003+05:30

Seeing your empty chair ,me turning around but not finding you sipping coffee in your lungi or not seeing you listen to songs and sermons on youtube, you not reading your Physics books..this all seems very unreal to me! I cannot accept this reality where you are no more, Where i can’t see you or hear you or talk to you or hug you everyday. Its almost a month since I have heard you call me Blessy!

            Turning 31 today, without you,your physical presence,without you placing your hand on my head and praying @12 midnight,like every year ...... And thinking that it's going to be like this from now on is breaking me!
Over the past 10 yrs,i have many dates fixed in my head,
11th May 2009, when I was suddenly diagnosed with a rare brain tumor,
25th May 2009, my first brain tumor surgery
17th July 2012 ,my second brain tumor surgery,
And many more such dates of my radiations and MRIs and of my many 'firsts' after my surgeries...the first-time I tried to balance and sit or the first time I spoke a word properly or held a pen..etc..etc!!
           But this date and time ,24th March 2020 and1:57pm are numbers engraved in my mind deeply! Because everything leading up to that date and time is very fresh yet somehow seems very blur at the same time!
I remember your every action, your every reaction, every  expression , every small sound you made, every word you spoke and I also remember my helplessness just staring at you knowing that you are going, knowing that I couldn’t  do anything about it, the non-stop crying and talking to God under the mask, the doctors walking in and out with all negative reports, hearing that the treatments were not working,me keeping Psalms 91 on a loop next to your ears, the many sermons on YouTube that you wanted me to play,telling you I will see you soon in heaven ..the non-stop video chats with Betsy and admidst all this, looking up the 15th floor hospital windows ,trying very hard to accept  the reality of you leaving us for this lifetime!

In 2009,when  my Mom and Dad were suddenly told that their daughter had a rare benign brain tumor called pilocytic astrocytoma, which happens to one in one lakh people and usually from the age of 5-20yrs, and I happened to get one at the age of 20, I told myself…its okay.. It happens sometimes!! I just happened  to be VERY UNIQUE. God fearfully and wonderfully made me!!
When the doctors said my chances of survival were very less or for sure I'll lose my ability to maybe see or hear or speak amongst many other things after surgery but when I came out completely fine, I said I Am BLESSED!
And after 3yrs, when my routine MRI, showed the tumor growing again and the doctors told my Mom and Dad she has to immediately undergo radiations for 28 continuous days.I kept reminding myself of Jeremiah 29:11.."...he wants to better me!!"
When we were told after a couple of months that the radiations didn't work at all and that the tumor was irresponsive to the radiation,that it happens very rarely, only one in 200 or so cases.I said I am VERY VERY UNIQUE!!
We were shattered again when informed that the tumor recurred again and I had to undergo a 2nd  surgery immediately! The doctors nodded a yes but said a 2nd brain surgery is way too risky so we can't guarantee anything but we’ll have to try!
Lying on the operation theatre bed the second time, looking up at those same theatre lights, the second time, I was like it's okay, I am not the first person to undergo all this!! God is in control!

The sorrow, the pain, the distress it must have caused you’ll, as my Dad and my Mom,is completely unimaginable!! What Betsy too had to go through! But everything was fine,it was all acceptable to me!

But then exactly after 10months, when you were suddenly diagnosed with cancer,I felt my heart ripped off !! I could not accept that.Because I honestly thought every family had to go through something big and we were done! My brain tumor was that '"something big" that we as a family had been through, twice!!

I was still sitting with pillow-walls around me ,trying hard not to fall but just balance myself when I would see you and Mom go for your weekly appointments and injections and treatments.The helplessness,I ,as a 24yr old, would feel, not being there for them when I can't even get up from my bed on my own! The Devil was playing with my thoughts and would eventually entangle me into depression,so i buried myself in the Bible,reading and studying the scriptures, writing my understandings! It was my escape!!

And so,when your medical reports came out to be all negative,i knew from my personal experiences, that absolutely nothing is impossible for God! I knew we live by faith and not by sight! I knew not to believe in worldly reports but to trust him! And I did!!... But still you went into a deep sleep, you had to go, God called you back!I

And I know wholeheartedly where you are right now! I Know that you are with your Maker…that makes me smile! And I know one day I'll meet you again but its just that I don't know when that day will come! Till that time I will not have my Appa around!!
I don't even remember now how I used to walk before my surgeries,with complete balance!Balancing is a luxury for me! I have forgotten my old voice or my speech! Sometimes I just yearn to twirl,to turn around quickly or walk fast or walk freely !!The loads of MRIs,the hospital visitations,my walk, my speech,my appearances, I have accepted everything as my ‘New Normal’.I have always tried and focused on what I can do as opposed to what I can't do! I have always been positive! But this is unacceptable to me that now my new normal will include you not being here,with me,on earth!

Everything that I did ,as a kid and as an adult, my every small achievement, especially in the last 7yrs,after surgery,involved you in it! Be it my engineering exams where you came along for me and waited patiently for 3 hrs in the adjacent rooms ,inspite of your health!!Or my internship, my weekly physiotherapy,or my daily walks with you in the park!! You transitioned from my ever-present, protective Dad into my best friend!
I am okay with the brain tumor that happened to me, but sometimes I wonder why you, too had to go through cancer ,the pain, the struggles, why you had to see your daughter go through surgeries and then you too had to go through the same….and finally one day, leave all of us .....! I will never understand anything!!

I know I am not the first person to lose a parent! And I know that me dealing with a brain tumor and you dealing with cancer, together at the same time is also not the first case in history but then you suddenly stopped dealing with everything! And on the 24^th of March, as we were watching you, you slowly stopped breathing ... , now leaving me as a brain tumor survivor still but making you ‘a was’…. ‘he was a cancer-survivor’!

I just know… God is in control!!

The Narrow Door!!

2019-10-25T11:26:00.000+05:30

Luke 13:24 .. Jesus said "make every effort to enter through the narrow door...."

        As a Sunday-school going young kid, I always imagined when a person died, he would go up to God and then God would show him two paths: a wide path and a narrow path, LITERALLY!! Like an actual wide road and a narrow road is placed in front of him and he has to make a choice,there and then! The wide path would lead to hell and the narrow road would lead to heaven .
       The wide road was a Tar road, widespread and smooth and shiny, was very easy to walk on, looked very strong, good-looking, a concrete with no cracks ; a textbook "Pakka" road in hindi. ‎While the narrow path looked very parched and muddy and dusty with all cracks, and had red soil....a "Kaccha" road(I imagined my native place roads: my 'then' Kerala roads. ..("then" because now it's all Tarred ). A not-at-all smooth road with tiny stones and pebbles lying around and sometimes even huge heavy rocks were on the way making it extremely difficult to just walk
So I remember,telling myself,'when you die ,go up and choose the narrow path, just choose the narrow road because it leads to heaven! You will have many obstacles to reach heaven but choose the narrow lane okay!The wide road will have lots of people on it , tempting you to cross over to the crowded path.... but don't follow the crowd, you stay here,on this narrow road'!!
       Ofcourse now I know better!
       We choose our paths here,on earth! We can choose the wide path, a guaranteed smooth ride with materialistic successes, which leads to everlasting fire or we can choose the bumpy, narrow, not-so -pretty road with guaranteed obstacles and problems which leads to everlasting life! Our God is not forceful by nature, therefore the choice is ours!

God IS IN CONTROL!

2019-07-31T15:45:00.002+05:30

Your Creator, The Creator of All is in control !

He holds the entire Earth and everything in it; every being in it, everything seen and unseen;

He holds the Earth and sustains the Heavens!

He positions The Sun and The Moon in the sky!

Galaxies and Planets were formed at his command!

The Stars twinkle at his nod!

He directs the wind the path it should take today and assigns every season.

He controls the weather.

He tells the water of the sea where to stop and the land where to start from!

He commands and things form .

He commands things to be, to just BE!

Many times,we tend to forget that we look up to a God, who is ‘THE GOD’. I think because inspite of he being ‘The God’, 'The Maker of Everything' , he is also many other things to us; a Friend , a Father ,a Companion ,always a Comfortor, filled with love and He is love, Compassionate towards all, slow to become angry,is very considerate, is very patient with us, forgives us, blesses us, understands us.He is also our teacher, our counselor, our guide, our healer and much more!

He has a“no conditions required to come to me’’ policy i.e. we can go to him anytime of the day or night.

‘Anyplace’ literally like when we are walking on the road or doing some house chores or stuck in traffic or our workplace and also our‘Anyplace’ i.e. our individual spiritual journey path! He is not at all judgmental about where we have reached in our journey with God and how many times we have backslided and fallen ,taking his immense grace for granted .He does not compare us or our path with others!!
And ‘Anyhow’..i.e our outer appearance; he doesn’t care even a bit about it but also ‘Anyhow’ means regarding the state that we are in, our mental and emotional state, our thoughts,our doubts,our fears, our anxieties, our understandings,our knowledge! We have complete freedom to bring everything to him!! He is very welcoming and warm and waiting with his stretched-arms! He just wants us to Come!

So we forget that THAT VERY GOD,The Sovereign Almighty,That Maker,That Creator…. is holding you and me in his palms and WE are HIS!

God is always in control!

Jonah,a Natural being-just like us!

2019-07-08T13:45:00.001+05:30

The Bible is a Supernatural book with natural circumstances!

i.e.the bible is all about stories of normal everyday problems happening to ordinary people like you and me with some supernatural encounters and experiences like supernatural healings or supernatural events like a donkey talking (Numbers 22:21-35) or the sun-standing still upon Gibeon (Joshua10: 12-14) or water turning into blood in Egypt(Exodus7:19-24) or the parting of the Red Sea(Exodus 14:21-29) or Sarah giving birth to Issac at 90(Genesis 21:1-8) or Daniel in lion's den(Daniel 6) and many many more.It is a very relatable book because the author of it is God (2 Timothy 3:16) who came down and became a man,Jesus! Therefore 'Natural' situations mixed with 'Supernatural' events!

So we come across stories of many who make mistakes and then regret making them and repent but then repeat, sometimes unknowingly but most of the times knowing completely it’s a mistake, just like us! We Regret, Repent and Repeat!

Jonah was one such fellow who fled from God knowing completely he was disobeying ‘The Creator’! He himself is seen here in Jonah 1:v9, explaining his God to the fellow sailors on the ship .But inspite of knowing he still ran from that same God!

I find Jonah quite amusing;very innocent and immature! He just says without mumbling that I am running from God ,because of me the boat is facing this storm.so just throw me into the violent raging sea, I am the cause of your problem and here is its solution too.(v10,v12). Not cunning at all or lying about anything to anyone considering the sailors were absolute strangers who had no idea about him or his place(v8) unlike Peter who lied and denied knowing Jesus to total strangers 3 times!(Mark 14:66--72).Jonah could have easily made up a lie but he didn’t!

A storm and a smelly, sticky situation was required for Jonah to spend some quality time with God. He got 3 days and 3 nights stay in a fish’s belly to realize his mistake and repent .Only if he had obeyed God the very first time he could have avoided a storm and a random fish’s belly! His natural disobedience mixed with supernatural swallowing of a fish was needed for Jonah to remember God! We too are like Jonah, require a storm or an unimaginable, uncomfortable situation ,at times, to be put in so that we can just look up and seek God first! And God, naturally or supernaturally picks us up from the pit and carries us!

Here God called Jonah again,a second time, a second chance! Jonah 3:1 is a very hopeful verse reassuring us that God will never give up on you.He will keep following you and do what he wants to accomplish through you on earth no matter what you think of yourself,how little you think of yourself and how far you run from God! He will use you as an instrument for his kingdom! He has a plan and purpose for you!

The 2^nd time he obeyed God and went to Nineveh and told them God’s word of destroying Nineveh because of its wickedness. The people of Nineveh including the King believed God, put on sackcloths and fasted and cried out to God and prayed and repented…so God did not bring disaster on them.(Jonah 3)

Now Jonah had a problem with that too! He had a problem with God’s nature of being a compassionate and a gracious and a loving God. A God who forgave the people easily!(Jonah 4:2). He conveniently forgot that this very same nature of God “forgave “him in the first place when he disobeyed and ran to the opposite direction! God had compassion on him when he cried out and repented! God did not get angry with Jonah’s behavior but when the Ninevites (others)repented and cried out to God for forgiveness and mercy,he got angry about it! . Very much like us!

Patient God did not yell back ‘Unbelievable Jonah! I just forgave you, and you are asking me to not heed to their cry for forgiveness but to destroy them’. Instead he just explained everything to him through an example of a plant(Jonah 4:5-11)

IT FELT LIKE DEATH!

2019-02-15T19:03:00.004+05:30

I recently happen to come across the testimony of Joni Eareckson Tada, an American Christian Evangelist minister, who had a diving accident at 17 which left her quadriplegic and on a wheelchair. After 43 years in a wheelchair,paralysed from shoulders down; keeping her faith intact; being an instrument for advancing God’s kingdom and speaking and writing about God’s faithfulness in her life, even with all her disabilities; ministering to people worldwide from her wheelchair, starting organisations to accelerate Christian ministry in the disability community,

suddenly at age of 60 she discovered that she had Breast cancer !!

When the doctor informed her that her tumor is malignant, she described;

IT JUST FELT LIKE DEATH!

(https://www.christianpost.com/news/joni-eareckson-tada-not-shaken-by-breast-cancer.html),

I ,personally could relate to her feeling because I had been through a somewhat similar situation. When I was suddenly diagnosed with brain tumor at 20 and then it recurred again after 3 years ,resulting in complete loss of balance;
I was like... it's okay ...it happens. Jesus said you will face problems and troubles in life ,so I thought we as a family have gone through a major problem, our quota as believers is done, we wont have any major problems to deal with now.

But then when my dad suddenly after 10months was diagnosed with blood cancer..

...IT FELT LIKE DEATH!

I was still trying to sit,..literally!was trying to balance myself after surgery, had dealt with brain surgeries and radiations and was dealing and discovering my various physical disabilities when Dad’s reports said positive!
I remember me, my mom and my sister just sitting in shock for few minutes, not being able to talk or cry or think and Dad was on his way back from the hospital with his reports.I was so blank to even ask questions! I thought my brain tumor was it! I didn't understand!

But then you move on! just move forward…thinking what’s next, what can I do now! From shock to crying to moving forward takes time! That time maybe days, months and sometimes even years, With family and friends to pray for you and support you, that ‘TIME’ gets shorter. but you realize you cannot do it alone!

You have so many 'why’s' and 'how’s' for God and they may or may not get answered but I know its futile to ask God because He is God! He can do anything with your life.

But I can guarantee you this, it is not for harming you in anyway(Jeremiah 29;11).That is an assurance! Moreover he always says to ‘trust me!, its not ‘understand everything and then trust me! ’I remember always chanting and reminding myself that “God is in control”! . ...that really helped!

And while Joni was explaining her experience and her feelings; with tearful joy she said that knowing that there was somebody else too who had felt the same way that I did,…

The Apostle Paul! That was such a comfort!

Really...??

2 Corinthians 1:9-11 says,
⁹Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. ¹⁰He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, ¹¹as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

Paul has had that feeling too! He is been through tough situations that made him feel like death too! For me that was a revelation and a huge comfort!
When you feel like death, when you feel drained, when you have lost the ability to even feel any emotion ,this verse is a comfort. GOD is telling you that you can't do it on your own ,you need to rely on me to pull you up and move forward. It gives light to many of our why questions.

He has delivered, he will deliver and continue to deliver us! That’s a promise! God is always in control!

JESuS CalMs a SToRm and Is Calm in A STorM!

2018-12-06T21:21:00.001+05:30

Matthew 8:23-27,Luke 8:22-25,Mark 4:35-41 teaches us many things but the two main things that I underlined and re-underlined were;

a) Jesus was with the disciples, in the boat,when the storm hit! And

b) Jesus was asleep!

I remember one of the young kids in my church had send a forwarded message to my sister,many years back, when our family was going through some unexpected and sudden storms stating;

‘Having Jesus IN YOUR BOAT does not mean your boat wont go through storms, it simply means your boat WILL NOT sink’!

True! Jesus was with the disciples,in the boat, but still the boat went through a storm! Their boat tossed and tumbled in the raging waves. The disciples,though the bible doesn’t mention a number ,we know atleast four out of twelve were fishermen. So i am certain that they must have seen innumerable storms and waves in their daily life when they go about doing their business of fishing! But if the fishermen themselves were afraid of the storm and thought that they were going to die and woke Jesus up: the storm and thunder and lightening must have been too big,even for them!

. Jesus never promised us a problem-free,trouble-free life on earth! A problem-free,tear-free, death-free eternity..yes, definitely! In fact in John 16:33, he himself is telling us you will have to face all kinds of troubles, but take heart I have overcome the(this) world! But he will see to it that your boat will not only sink but reach the shore safely.

Also,when the boat was going through a storm and Peter yelling louder than the storm at his brother Andrew to row the boat away from the storm and Philip frantically screaming and shouting 'we all are going to die'and maybe Thomas making peace with his death already .... Jesus was sleeping!! He was peacefully and Calmly sleeping on a cushion!(Mark 4:38)
Not all storms can be seen in the forecast. When sudden storms hit you, be Christ-like, staying calm in a calamity!

That needs faith that no matter how bad the situation seems now;God is in control! So your boat wont sink! And that faith comes from his words,his promises. And that comes from not just reading but studying his words, diving into his promises!

Remembering his promises , Repeating his promises again and again throughout the day and Reminding yourself how God has kept his promises and have answered your prayers and done so many miracles for you till date! I read that a great weapon to use against the devil is your memory ! When your foundation is strong, no matter how big or how sudden a storm hits you,you will not shake, you’ll stay calm like Jesus! Be like Jesus!

The Ugly One!

2018-10-17T15:38:00.002+05:30

Read: Genesis 29-16 to 30:24

The bible describes Leah as the weak-eyed or the dull-eyed sister i.e.kind of the ugly one!!

Genesis 29:16-17 describes Rachel as the beautiful sister and Leah,the dull-eyed one. When The Bible; God-breathed words, didn’t mince words while describing Leah so then obviously,why would people around her be nice!

Leah must be dealing with this comparison all through her childhood. Her family, friends,relatives, neighbours, people …all must have compared her to her sister’s beauty! I can imagine her crying about this in her room.Guests telling Laban,their father, 'your younger one is so beautiful’,in front of Leah.

Even when she became a young adult, her father had to trick Jacob to marry her!(genesis 29:23,24). Why? Maybe because she got many proposals but got rejected when they saw her in person or maybe because her dad thought that no one would be willing to marry her. I don’t know!

But knowing that her father had to trick a man inorder to marry her would have been very hurtful. Knowing that she was not Jacob’s choice at all, knowing that he was in love with Rachel and worst of all she didn’t have a say in any of this!
In those days ,the absolute authority of the father of the house ruled so Leah couldn't say anything and maybe that is why Rachel had to agree with this agreement.

But even after Leah's marriage, she was not loved (v30)and with the birth of her every child, we see, she is being hopeful of her situation getting better; maybe now Jacob will love me as much as Rachel;maybe now my misery will end;maybe now he will treat me with honor(Genesis 29:31-35, 30:17-19),

But I feel she was the lucky one,blessed by God! Though not very attractive but she got Jacob as her husband first. She became a mom first. God opened her womb so that she could give 6 boys and a girl to Jacob and the six sons later became the SIx Jewish Tribes of Israel! Through her son,Levi,priests would come and her son Judah became a tribe that Jesus Christ,The Messiah would come. God was with her always and blessed her.

Maybe the comparisons throughout her life would have led her to believe that she would have to compromise in life,that she would have to settle with whatever was handed out to her.

Leah had a bad situation going on, one that God didn’t change, but instead he gave her the grace to live in that situation.Her joy came from the Lord and the gifts He gave her.

She got to be a wife,a mother and then after her death,rest peacefully with Jacob in the family tomb,alongside The Patriarch,Abraham and Sarah,Issac and Rebekah in the cave of Machpelah(Genesis 49:31). She was definitely more favored by God!
God sees you even if the world forgets you!!

The Story Behind the Song “I Have Decided to Follow Jesus”

2018-07-03T17:22:00.002+05:30

A hymn that I have heard innumerable times like many Christians and have memorized the lyrics very well as a kid and understood its meaning as a teen but actually understood the in-depth meaning of each word when I went through various life-experiences; it’s a shame that I learnt the story behind this meaningful lyrics just recently!!

This is an Indian-origin song! (I didn’t know that!) from Meghalaya, then known as Assam.

This story is from the book Why God, Why? by Dr. Peramangalam Job. Dr. Job (1945-2012) was an internationally known evangelist. He has been called the “Billy Graham of India.”

About 150 years ago, there was a great revival in Wales, England. As a result of this, many missionaries came from England to northeast India to spread the Gospel. The region was known as Assam and comprised hundreds of tribes. The tribal communities were quite primitive and aggressive. The tribesmen were also called head-hunters because of a social custom which required the male members of the community to collect as many heads as possible. A man’s strength and ability to protect his wife was assessed by the number of heads he had collected. Therefore, a youth of marriageable age would try and collect as many heads as possible and hang them on the walls of his house. The more heads a man had, the more eligible he was considered. Into this hostile and aggressive community, came a group of Welsh missionaries spreading the message of love, peace, and hope of Jesus Christ.

Naturally, they were not welcomed. One Welsh missionary finally succeeded in converting a man, his wife, and two children. This man’s faith proved contagious and many villagers began to accept Christianity. Angry, the village chief summoned all the villagers. He then called the family who had first converted to renounce their faith in public or face execution. Moved by the Holy Spirit, the man sung his reply, “I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back.”

Enraged at the refusal of the man, the chief ordered his archers to arrow down the two children. As both boys lay twitching on the floor, the chief asked, “Will you deny your faith? You have lost both your children. You will lose your wife too.”

But the man replied, again singing, “Though none go with me, still I will follow. No turning back.”

The chief was beside himself with fury and ordered his wife to be arrowed down. In a moment she joined her two children in death. Now he asked for the last time, “I will give you one more opportunity to deny your faith and live.”

In the face of death the man sung, “The cross before me, the world behind me. No turning back. No turning back.”

He was shot dead like the rest of his family. But with their deaths, a miracle took place. The chief who had ordered the killings was moved by the faith of the man. He wondered, “Why should this man, his wife and two children die for a Man who lived in a far-away land on another continent some 2,000 years ago? There must be some supernatural power behind the family, and I too want that supernatural power.”

In a spontaneous confession of faith, he declared, “I too belong to Jesus Christ!” When the crowd heard this from the mouth of their chief, the whole village accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior!!

Knowing “The story” behind these lyrics takes the song to a whole new level of understanding and shows us the power of God. Only God can change any hardened- heart but more importantly, once you experience his unconditional love, mercy, grace, kindness; You cannot turn back!

It took a man and his family’s life to bring a whole village to Christ! He was killed because he stood for the right thing but their deaths gave rise to a miracle, the entire village,including the one who gave the orders to kill him, accepted Christ!

We might not understand but God sees the bigger picture and acts accordingly!!

And even today Meghalaya is known as a Christian state with sizeable Christian majority.

The Indian missionary Sadhu Sundar Singh took the martyr’s last words and put them to traditional Indian music to make one of the first uniquely Indian hymns.

The song immediately became popular in Indian churches, and it remains a worship music to this day.

Finally, it ended up with a Canadian song writer George Beverley Shea, and he made it a staple at the Billy Graham crusades.

I have decided to follow Jesus(3x)

No turning back,No turning back

Though none go with me, still I will follow (3x)

No turning back, no turning back

The world behind me, the cross before me (3x)

No turning back, no turning back.

—

PIT TO PALACE

2018-01-15T19:25:00.002+05:30

Genesis 39:23 says “…., because the Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did.”
But just above this verse; v20 says 'Joseph was put in prison’?! So that means ,there, in the prison, he had success?! Success and prison!?

Now we don’t associate success with prison. How can a person be successful if he lands up in a punishment facility. Success and prison is a contradiction!That is a oxymoron!

Similarily Matthew 5:1-12 talks about ‘The Beatitudes’ which is derived from the latin word ‘beatus’ meaning ‘blessed’.This passage is filled with contradictory ideas: blessed are all those who mourn, blessed are all those who are persecuted or insulted ! How can you rejoice and be glad about persecutions and insults !(Matthew 5:12)

God says in Luke 6:38,Matthew 6:1-34,proverbs 11:24-25, Acts 20:35,etc inorder to increase our receive ,we should give! We should tithe! We should not store anything but help and share with others. Again, how can we increase anything if we don’t store ! King Solomon,the wisest man who ever lived says in (Proverbs 11:24-25) giving freely=gaining more! Richness by giving?

These are some of the many verses that clearly states that God’s economy functions differently than ours. His plans and ways are different than ours.He thinks differently knowing everything from start to finish.

He could have easily stopped a lot of things from happening in Joseph’s life and I am sure he could have stopped a lot of things from happening in mine and your lives too but then Joseph had to go through the pit to reach the palace!

At times we might not understand the reason behind the ’pit situations’ in our lives but we have to trust Him with those situations!

God knows our past,present and future! So when he makes decisions and plans for us, he takes into account all the three: our past, our present and our future; plans for not just our temporary tent but for our eternal abode too! He has already carved a beautiful future for us but he has left the choice to us. We surely might be in our pits or prisons but we can reach our palace only if we choose God’s path. But we can be absolutely confident of HE being with us every step of the way,showing His favor , His agape love and kindness and giving us success but HIS definition of success! (genesis 39:2 and 21)

Growing In The Dark!

2017-10-31T11:44:00.005+05:30

1John 3:9 tells us we have ‘God’s seed in us’.This was beautifully explained by a teacher of the word by using a plant-seed!

Imagine a seed. This seed already has the embryo in it to transform into a tree, but then for it to be a huge, fruitful, leafy tree it has to go through processes.

First of all , the seed should no longer want to be a seed but would want to be a tree i.e. it has to die to itself! Then it has to be buried, in the ground,into the darkness with dirt clothing it. The dirt , the soil covering it is actually supplying the needed nutrients to the seed. This seed remains dormant,as if asleep till the right conditions and moisture levels are present. And then it bursts !

It bursts and small roots start popping. These roots [i am also imparting botanical knowledge] grow down and deep and push the plant to grow above the soil. The roots make themselves strong and deep enough ,holding tightly to the soil,making it difficult to uproot the tree!

Similarly ,we ,believers too have the seed planted in us by GOD. But before becoming a deep-rooted tree useful for GOD,we have to go through the process of first dying to self, then going through darkness and sufferings and after going through our tunnel, eventually ,when GOD thinks we are ready,we burst into small roots which will result in us being strongly rooted in Christ and having a deep meaningful relationship with GOD. Holding tightly to his word makes it difficult to uproot us resulting in we, turning into fruit-bearing trees for his kingdom!

For the tree to be strong ,its base-the roots had to be deep and the roots grew in the dark!

During our dark and desert times ,we tend to root ourselves deeply in God and grow spiritually close to HIM. We turn to him with our prayers and requests because only he can answer ;only he can provide comfort and peace and hope in a hopeless situation.

Like the dirty soil which was providing the needed nutrients to the seed so also the dirt situations around us were actually providing the needed nourishments and refreshments to the soul ,through his word!

I believe every believer has “pit times” and only those dark, stormy, under-the-ground times help our spiritual growth and prepare us to be a huge, fruitful trees above the ground ,in the light, for the world to see ! But we Grow in the dark!

For me, personally this is true, because I grew more as a Christian only during my stormy times and i still am in the process of growing. Also we should understand that all of this, i.e., growing deep roots and transforming into a useful tree, happens over a period of time, not overnight! And even though we will be subjected to occasional pruning i.e. cutting off dead stems and fruitless branches for our own growth,we wont give up and fall if our roots are strong!

WE live By FAITH and not BY SIGHT!

2017-10-12T07:42:00.000+05:30

Luke 18:43 "-.....when all people saw it,they Also praised God."

..the word that caught my attention here was "SAW" -the people saw the blind man being healed and they praised God.

People need to see something in order to believe! They argue about God not existing because they can't see him. It seems difficult for humans to believe that God is a spirit and so then people get creative and make different colorful idols of various shapes and forms for themselves to worship and call as God!.

Then there are these age-old questions; if God exists, why do Christians have health diseases, why do they suffer,why do people die of accidents, why is there evil in this world, why is this and that happening? I always feel that most people …not all but most people who will ask you ‘why and what’ don’t want to actually believe in the truth because like I said in my previous quiet time study Christianity Is A Lifestyle! :being a serious Christian involves making Christ-centric decisions every-day, changing your ways to please God, transforming yourselves for Christ and they don’t want to do that so they ask a bunch of questions and reason about god not existing and live as they please!!

Then there are some people who would like to see something happen in their lives in order to believe;like a miracle of maybe healing or maybe financial needs being met or maybe something else like a job promotion or marriage,etc.
That doesn't require any divine skills...anyone can do that!! Seeing a miracle and then praising God is easy.

But Its when you don't see anything happening in your life,no miracle of any sorts and everything seems unfair and everyone is moving forward while you feel stuck and your future seems blank to you but you still hold onto him, believing his word, his promises and hoping and trusting him;with you not understanding anything but leaning on him and his understanding( Proverbs 3:5-6) and you still chose to praise God just because He is GOD and you LOVE him! Now that definitely requires divine skills!

We,believers don't see and praise;we believe and praise and it does not matter if we see or don't see!

Also we study in this passage, they saw and they praised.There was no act of believing involved. So, we are capable of offering empty praises too!!

WE live By FAITH and not BY SIGHT!(2 corinthians 5:7)

Being JoyFul in HOPE!

2017-08-08T11:53:00.001+05:30

When I was reading about ‘Love' ,today in the morning,in Romans 12, I came across verse 12 and got stuck there;

“Be joyful in hope ,patient in affliction , faithful in prayer.”

This verse tell us to do three things that will help us attain or increase our peace.I tried studying the ‘Be joyful in hope’ part in detail.

Now ‘Hope’ is defined as a feeling of expectation that something will happen and it is usually associated with a positive expectation. Nobody hopes for a bad or negative thing to happen, atleast to themselves!

So this verse just simply means to be joyful in that expectation that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel; a Hope that no matter what your circumstances and situations are screaming and telling you today…you have a bright tomorrow!!

We have faith in God and that faith leads us to a confidence and reliance i.e. a trust in God which produces hope and which in turn gives us an assurance for a bright tomorrow!

Verses like: ‘We live by faith and not by sight’-2 corinthians 5:7 or ‘Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see’- Hebrews 11:1, help us with our hope in God. We see people around us doing evil and prospering and those who stand for the right and the truth being punished but we endure it (God helps us with endurance) in the hope of a Happy ending for us,i.e. eternity with God for us and hell for the evil and evil doers!

And the bible tells us to ‘be joyful ‘in that hope. The emotion ‘Joy’ is different from the emotion ‘Happy’. Happiness is a state of mind while Joy is the state of the heart.

Happiness is associated with you getting something like a success or some material objects or an earthly experience. It is temporary and is based on outward circumstances i.e you can be happy about good food, good company or a good activity whereas Joy is a much stronger,deeper and lasting emotion .It is based on inward circumstances i.e. it is directly proportional to our inward peace and contentment which means we have the power to control our joy.

Something doesn’t go our way and we are unhappy and upset about it but yet we can choose to stay calm,be at peace and have joy in our heart.

Being joyful is a fruit of the Spirit , so if you have the Spirit in you, you already have the ‘Joy’ fruit , you just have to exercise it on purpose!

Let us concentrate on Being JoyFul in HOPE!

Citizen Way - I Will (Official Lyric Video)

2017-06-15T16:53:00.000+05:30

Each and Every word speaks to me, Reassures me ,Srengthens me, gives me Immense Peace and Hope that "He Will"!!

I know you’re feeling overwhelmed Before the day even begins But I can see beyond the now This is not how your story ends And when you’re at your weakest Oh I’ve never been more strong So let me be the one you’re leaning on..... ..I will dry your eyes I will calm your fears I will show you how you’re beautiful beautiful I will walk with you On the raging sea And I will never leave..

Christianity Is A Lifestyle!!

2017-06-02T16:47:00.000+05:30

Being a Christian, a serious Christian i.e. living a Christ-centered life is an every-day work . Right from the time we open our eyes in the morning till we hit the bed at night we need his wisdom to not act foolish! This is exactly why we need to meditate his word ‘everyday’, not for him ;he already knows the bible, remember he gave it to us(2 timothy 3:16)!! But it is for us,for our benefit, so that we don’t act carnal: earthly or worldly;so that we become eligible citizens of heaven, representatives of Christ on earth!

Now,Every-day work means what, we might ask..but every-day work for us involves and revolves around the deliberate “Put-on's”

i.e purposely, even if we don’t feel like loving we should Put-On love(Colossians 3:14),

should be watchful and careful with our mouth, our thoughts, our actions,our conduct so that we don’t slip away,

should be thankful and grateful,

should clothe ourselves with godly virtues(Colossians 3:12-14),

should rid-ourselves and Put-to-death earthly nature(Colossians 3:5-10)

it involves “seeking peace and pursuing it”(1 Peter3:11, Psalms 34:14 ) i.e. you should on-purpose look for peace in an unpeaceful situation and then go after it. Bible also says to promote peace(proverbs12:20)

Paul’s letters are filled with instructions for a Christian-living .He doesn’t mince his words about Christ-centered living! He tells us how to live, behave as Christ is dwelling in us and through our living,we show the nature of Christ to the world!

He says to “make every effort” , that“as far as possible from your side, to walk in-peace, live in peace with everyone” (Hebrews 12:11 ,Romans 14:19,Romans 12:18)”

Christianity is a lifestyle you chose, saying “NO” to ungodliness (Titus 2:12) and staying righteous,self-controlled,upright…it needs constant work because half the time we have no idea that we need help and other times we resort to “the blaming-game”-because of others I had to…, because of that particular situation I had to….
But the Good news is we don't have to do it on our own and if we slip,it is okay because Our God is a forgiving God ,who wants to and is ever-ready to help us be holy but we should want to be helped and ask him!