Christianity for Sanity

What is choice?

2011-06-22T08:35:00.000-07:00

Of all the topics I shun abortion is at the top. People take sides so easily and the topic gets out of hand so quickly that I just avoid, avoid, avoid as much as possible. As with many topics I think the real issue often gets missed and sensationalism wins.

Recently in The Wall Street Journal's poignant review of a book titled, "Unnatural Selection: Choosing Boys Over Girls and the Consequences of World Full of Men" they hit the nail on the head.

The WSJ says:

Despite the author's intentions, "Unnatural Selection" might be one of the most consequential books ever written in the campaign against abortion. It is aimed, like a heat-seeking missile, against the entire intellectual framework of "choice." For if "choice" is the moral imperative guiding abortion, then there is no way to take a stand against "gendercide." Aborting a baby because she is a girl is no different from aborting a baby because she has Down syndrome or because the mother's "mental health" requires it. Choice is choice. One Indian abortionist tells Ms. Hvistendahl: "I have patients who come and say 'I want to abort because if this baby is born it will be a Gemini, but I want a Libra.' "

Read the full review yourself: The War Against Girls

Men and Jane Austen

2011-06-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

While discussing events for our singles group we came up with this great idea that the women get to pick an event for the men to do and the men for the women. Whoever gets the most attendees would win the other gender cooking dinner for them.

First the women in the room started talking of ideas for the men. Watch Jane Austen movies? Good idea. Getting facials and pedicures? Also a good idea. Go to a tea room for a tea party? Perfect. A stereotypically 'girly' event that even involves food and nothing that would be particularly offensive to anyone.

Then we switched to the men trying to pick something for the women to do. Watch horror movies? Sure, many women do that anyway. Play football in the mud? Again, several in the group not only would do it but already had. Go to a heavy metal rock concert? Sure, that's K's favorite music genre.

We ended in a quandary since the women seemed willing to do anything the men suggested but not vice-versa. I am still processing what this means but I do find it intriguing. It does seem true that within our society women have culturally embraced many things that are stereotypically (whether right or wrong) 'men's things' to do. But men have not, and have at times even been pushed away, from embracing things that are 'women's things' to do.

I don't want to argue that women and men are the same. But, the situations listed above really come down to personality and interests. Who cares if a man watches Jane Austen? It doesn't make him a women or any less of a man. Just as how women playing mud football doesn't make them less of a women.

Temporary marriage

2011-05-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Let's continue looking at our view of marriage. If we view marriage appropriately we should, hopefully, view singleness appropriately.

In This Momentary Marriage theologian John Piper says:

I am declaring the temporary and secondary nature of marriage and family over against the eternal and primary nature of the church. Marriage and family are temporary for this age; the church is forever. I am declaring the radical biblical truth that being in a human family is no sign of eternal blessing, but being in God’s family means being eternally blessed. Relationships based on family are temporary. Relationships based on union with Christ are eternal. Marriage is a temporary institution, but what it stands for lasts forever.

You can find a the book available for free from the Desiring God website.

The myth perpetuated in much popular level thought is quite the opposite of this truth. Many Christians I talk with don't realize that marriage is temporary. Marriage does not exist in heaven.

Jesus states in Matthew 22:30 after being questioned by the Sadducees regarding who's wife a woman will be in heaven who has had several husbands that, “'You are deceived, because you don’t know the scriptures or the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.'”

I am not arguing that marriage is not important. It teaches us a great deal about ourselves and God and is God's way of showing us a fundamental truth about His love for us. Marriage holds the promise of both love and covenant-keeping, both two fundamental aspects of God. But, on the flip side, then, singleness can teach us about hoping and waiting for the love and covenant-keeping truth of marriage. Currently, while we know the Church is betrothed to Jesus, we are in a period of hoping and waiting. We are not in the final marriage state. We have not participated in the wedding banquet and fully entered into the final state.

As theologian John Stott says, “If marriage is good, singleness is also good. It's an example of the balance of scripture that, although Genesis 2:18 indicates that it is good to marry 1 Corinthians 7:1...says that 'it is good for a man not to marry.' So both the married and the single states are 'good;' neither is in itself better or worse than the other.”*

*(Albert Hsu's Singles at the Crossroads gets in depth into the topic of singleness. Hsu's interview with John Stott on singleness is in the appendix and a great read.)

Marriage as?

2011-05-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

In God's Joust, God's Justice, law historian John Witte Jr. explains that, “the Western tradition has...viewed marriage in at least four perspectives.” He goes on to list the four as contract, spiritual association, social estate and natural institution and that throughout different time periods and different denominations an emphasis has typically been placed on one perspective at the expense of the others. And he continues later saying,

“A single perspective on marriage – whether religious, social, or contractual – does not capture the full nuance of this institution. A single forum – whether the Church, state or the household itself – is not fully competent to govern all marital questions.”

If we truly merged all of these perspectives and considered them when we married what would looking for a spouse look like? What questions would be on Eharmony? What would premarital counseling look like? If we even equally balanced two or three of these perspectives how would that change our approach to marriage?

Foundation of society?

2011-05-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

I believe a key issue in not understanding singleness properly is that we do not understand families properly.

Our culture sees brokenness all around us and traces the root cause back to "broken families" -- so then we try to fix these broken families. It's true that many issues stem from divorce and single parenthood. But just because brokenness stems from those issues we can't assume that if we fix those issues there will be no more brokenness. This seems to be the myth often believed by strong proponents of the nuclear family argument.

The foundation of society should be Jesus -- it should be loving God and our neighbors above all else. That's the foundation. Humanity is marred by sin and always will be in this life. Nothing can change that. Only the Gospel can begin the healing work that needs to occur to improve society -- that is the foundation of society, not the stereotypical current American cultural idea of family.

In Families at the Crossroads by Rodney Clapp he states:

In books, and on radio and television...evangelical family champions worry over a fairly consistent list of concerns. They criticize public schools for suspect curriculum and teaching methods. They note alarming divorce rates. They decry movies, music and television programs that frighten children and expose them to explicit sex and violence. They abhor the spread of the gay rights movement and the rise of feminism. They place in opposition to all these things what they call the “traditional,” biblical” and even “natural” family—the nuclear family consisting of a heterosexual couple and their children, in which the husband and father is the breadwinner and the wife and mother manages home and childrearing.

Then he goes on to state,

What evangelicals call the “traditional family” is in fact the bourgeois or middle-class family, which rose to dominance in the nineteenth century....”

This may be the first time many have heard a statement like this. More to come in the next blog entries.

Single pastors?

2011-05-05T14:32:00.000-07:00

Recently The New York Times published an article, "Unmarried Pastor, Seeking a Job, Sees Bias". The title is fairly self-explanatory. If you take the time to peruse job postings for pastoral openings you will often see 'married' listed as a requirement. Should this be? As the article starts to hit on, it seems that much of the reason for this tends to be based on irrational fears rather than rational or even theological stances.

In my bible study last night we looked at Titus 1:6 where it talks of elders being 'the husband of one wife'. This passage, and similar ones such as in 1 Timothy 3:2, traditionally frame the argument for a pastor, or elder, being married. To jump right to my interpretation: This is not a commandment that one must be married but that if you are married you are faithful and if you are not married you are faithful in that.

Much more can be said on this topic (and I plan to do so through this blog). You can see several other responses from Christian leaders here:

Albert Mohler: Must a Pastor Be Married? The New York Times Asks the Question

Justin Taylor: On Bias Against Single Pastors

At Internet Monk: Single? Need Not Apply

Full disclosure: Here is my point

2011-05-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

Many in the pews of evangelical churches today do not realize the Bible teaches on singleness. Not only that but much popular thought of evangelical scholarship and mainstream media today focuses on family--on 'one man, one woman' and on pushing Christians to get married younger instead of waiting. What do we lose as the Church by ignoring the state of singleness? If marriage is symbolic and a shadow of our future with Christ then singleness would also hold value of the same illustrative nature. What singleness then should do is teach us about waiting, expecting and hoping--all things the Church is called to do now. Exploring this concept will not only encourage those who are single today but encourage the Church as a whole as we learn to live during this time before Christ's return.

Through my posts on this blog I hope to unpack this statement.

Singleness in Christianity

2011-04-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

The topic of singleness is near and dear to my heart as I am a 30-something single Christian woman. I am not serving overseas as a missionary. There seems no paradigm to deal with people like me within our evangelical Christian settings.

Recently I presented a paper entitled "Hope: What singleness can teach the church" at the NW Regional Evangelical Theological Society meeting. I'll use this as a basis for my next series of blog posts.

The more I think about the topic the more I believe it's a fundamental issue that no one seems to address except with extreme and somewhat insane solutions. I hope to offer a balanced approached and a look into the historical reasons we are where we are and practical solutions for now.

Christmas for Sanity

2010-12-20T19:20:00.001-08:00

Leave it to Christians to be the most un-sane during the Christmas season. I mean, 'Jesus is THE reason for the season' so we, as Christians, should be the most sane? We have THE reason. Right?

The premise of Jesus being 'the reason for the season' is completely ridiculous. The reason for it being called a 'season' in the first place is because numerous holidays occur during this same one month-ish period.

A good question to ask, then, is why do several holidays call the time around the darkest day of the year their home? Because during the literally darkest days of the year we need non-literally light in our lives. Here comes the Jesus sermon, right? NO. I mean, sure, as a literary device it could make a nice sermon device. But just as a literary device, not as an actual reason. We do need light through fun and celebration and things to look forward to during days like these.

In the Old Testament we see that God set up different times for His people to work and also to celebrate. Holidays and festivals are very Biblical. When they occur isn't really. We aren't in the Old Testament living under the Law. The Christian church has used the principles given in the OT, of celebration, to 'create' the holiday of Christmas. Christians did this when everyone wants to have something else to do because it's so dreary outside*. So instead of celebrating pagan holidays we celebrate Christmas: Christ's birth.

The Bible is not clear regarding when Jesus was born. Sure, there are several educated guesses, and very few of those guesses put the date on the winter solstice. But, since we don't know, and the Bible doesn't feel the need (ahem, God doesn't) to actually tell us, I think we don't need be strict regarding it.

On another note, we do know when Easter is. Jesus was crucified after the week of Passover. Currently our calendars are not the same as were used at that time, but we can get fairly close. And we know it was in the spring. God seemed to want us to know this. Easter should always be celebrated then.

All this to say, don't freak out because Christmas is in December. Whatever. Also, don't freak out if people say "Happy Holidays". It IS a holiday season. More than one holiday occurs during this season, even for us Christians. I celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. If I were Canadian I'd celebrate Boxing Day. Well, maybe not...I have no idea what that is, I just know it exists.

If a someone tells me I cannot say "Merry Christmas" that is annoying, if they tell me I also can't say "Happy Hanukkah" and "Happy Kwanzaa", it's equally as annoying. But at least they are consistent. If someone tells me the only thing I CANNOT say is related to Christmas, then, yes, it is offensive. That situation is the only time we can stand up and shout that it is WRONG. None of these other reasons are reasons to shout. It just makes us look silly. I think some sanity and peace will go a long way during what we erroneously call 'our season.' No reason to overreact to issues that are not really issues at all.

So, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Stay safe and warm during this cold and dark time of the year.

*This argument is fallible because in the southern hemisphere it is summer. But only 10% of the world population lives in the southern hemisphere. A better argument, would be, that most of the population lives close enough to the equator or in a climate that doesn't see drastic shifts in weather or daylight/darkness. But, the areas with the most influence culturally in both the East and West do.

**Also, I didn't footnote or link to anything to prove these points. Please people, it's all completely logical.

I am right, I AM right

2010-11-30T18:32:00.001-08:00

I've always known I was a bit different. Not really short bus different, but just, different. No one really seemed to see things the way I did. So, over the weekend I started taking a few personality assessment tests. Why? It had come up in conversation a few times over the past few weeks and seemed a good way to kill a holiday weekend. Also, I am helping lead my church class in a few weeks on the book "Sacred Pathways" by Gary Thomas. "Sacred Pathways" basically looks at how your personality impacts the way you best relate to and experience God.

So on the Myers Briggs I believe I am INTJ. Basically this means that I think I am right all the time; and I very often am. On the DiSC I score high D and high C (I've done this one 'officially' before.) Which also means I think I am right and very often am. On the Sacred Pathways questionairre I score very high as an Intellectual and then as an Activist and Traditionalist. Completely new to me is the Enneagram test. I think I am a 5w6. Basically that also describes a thirst for knowledge.

The moral, or one, of all this is that writing this blog is how I currently will choose to best express my personality type. I value intellectual pursuit but also value forming it into a system that makes sense. I analyze and process what I learn and create a system, value or otherwise, that makes the most sense logically and practically. I tend to not form that system until I have as much information as possible. This is why my personality type tends to be right a lot.

The tendency, though, is to not follow systems and theories already set in place. In an work organization people with my personality may not follow the rules if they don't make sense to them. But, with most organizations they do most things at least close enough to the *correct* way that my personality types can co-exist.

The thing is, also, most people do not have my personality type. As far as the Myers Briggs is concerned it seems that the high estimate have 4% of the population at INTJ and at the low about 1%. So maybe somewhere in the middle is true. And, I read, and believe it seems right, that only 25% of all females are 'T' (Thinking) so I suck at math but that means almost no females are INTJ.

When thinking about writing this blog I felt compelled because I have ideas to share. I look at the world and other theories and systemtize it all and then want to make it work. That's what INTJ's do. So, sharing my theological constructs makes me happy like nothing else. I think very few people spend the time thinking through all this stuff and forming it into some sort of organized process that makes sense. But, when most people give up and think "why?" I think "yes!" and thrive off of it. So, I might as well share the ideas. Also, I believe being a girl lends another perspective that is completely lacking in the evangelical conservative theological world.

So, good luck to all of you reading along. I hope that it can be helpful to someone.

Chivalry not dead at Best Buy

2010-11-27T14:13:00.000-08:00

I waited in the crisp cold as Thanksgiving switched to Black Friday hoping to purchase this new laptop I am now typing with. My first thought as we pulled into the parking lot was, "Where are all the women?". Boys playing hacky sack. Guys discussing football. Men sitting in their chairs. My roommate Sparkle* and I moved into line, put our chairs down and realized we sat by another young woman. Soon the three of us were best friends, bonding through the experience.

Texting away to anyone we could think of still awake after eating their biggest meal of the year, we hoped the time would pass quickly. As the cold set in Sparkle says, "He wants to know what kind of tea we want." We joked about it, told him 'he was enough tea for us' and thought it would be left at that. He said, "No, really." And an hour later we had tea and hand warmers and Cliff bars to help make our stay better.

An hour or so before Best Buy opened the crowd started getting feisty. We lined up very orderly to begin with but at some point everyone decided to consolidate. Very quickly the coffee, chairs and tents were packed up and everyone moved into a mob instead of a line.

During this process the order of people became jumbled. This irritated, well, everyone. A group of men behind us ladies made sure they saved our spots when it took us a bit longer to pack up. When the Best Buy employees came out yelling, "Who wants a cell phone?" or "Who wants a T.V.?" these men asked us what we were in line freezing for. Several limited items needed tickets to be purchased and with the creation of the mob, it was every man for himself. With little chance the three of us women could cut through the huddle of men planning and scheming to get tickets for items they didn't want or need, the men that had just spend hours next to us made sure the girls got what they wanted. They intercepted the tickets and proudly presented them to us in one moment as they talked about how they didn't even know what they wanted when they got through the doors but were celebrating the other random tickets they scored and still held in their hands.

I left frustrated with the entitlement and consumerism I saw displayed that early freezing morning. I told myself though, that, although overall the environment was rife with ridiculousness that brings grown men to their knees, chivalry--courtesy, honesty and hot tea--still found ways to shine through.

*Her name is not Sparkle. But, 1) it makes sense if you know her real name and 2) we spent plenty of time while waiting talking about stripper names, so it seems appropriate.