the other side of Someday.....

Guest Post: Handicap Stickers

2012-05-21T08:40:00.000-06:00

Happy Monday! I have a special treat for you all today!

A guy from my ward asked for my number at FHE. His first text to me was "Kasey this is God telling you to rescue that devilishly handsome man Jace by saving his number in your phone." A few weeks later on a Friday night Jace was extremely punctual at picking me up at 7 for dinner at Mazza Grill. Now for those of you who have never been to Mazza grill, you need to know that it is located on 9th and 9th in SLC where the parking is scarce, and all of the tables face the large windows with a perfect view of the street. As we pull up to the restaurant the following conversation occurs.
Jace: You don't mind if we mark in handicap do you?
Kasey: Well actually my dad is a paraplegic.....
Jace: Cool well my brother is PA and he gives me tons of these free handicap parking sticker
I look in the backseat and am astonished to see a pile of paper handicap parking stickers. Jace then pulls one from the pile and places it on the dashboard, and parks his car front and center at Mazza where I feel as if all customers are watching our parking and entrance through the glass window facing the handicap parking. Jace looks over and says "so which one of us is going to limp?" I pretend not to hear him and get out of the car as quickly as possible. When we get inside we discover that the wait for Mazza was 30 minutes. Jace suggests a walk, and the rest went downhill from there.

Don't you love how this photo has a picture of the actual handicap sign in front of Mazza?

**Editor's note all of the events described above are factual except for the names. Happy dating lovers!

WIW (on Thursday): Wavy Hair

2012-05-17T10:40:00.000-06:00

I love hair product. I love how a dab of cream and be the difference between disaster and fab. One of my new favorite products, can be purchased here. I've tried all sorts of mouses, gel's, and hairsprays and this stuff controls friz without making my hair feel crunchy. It's amazing, and I highly recommend it for anyone looking to tame their own natural wave or curl.

WIW: The GAP

2012-05-09T09:34:00.000-06:00

Has anyone else ever noticed that the GAP has hit and miss years. Sometimes I want it all, sometimes I leave disappointed. I was in a bit of a #spring #newworkdresscode #howdoIwearbusinesscasual funk (do we use hash tags in blogs? I'm new to those too). Thankfully the GAP had the answer. Welcome to my closet and life, meet my new dress pants.

Dating my way through the Book of Mormon

2012-05-08T07:46:00.000-06:00

Mosiah 27:22

Background

Alma the Younger is struck dumb by an angel of the Lord. When his father is told of what has happened to his son the following (our scripture) is his response:

Scripture

Mosiah 27: 22 And he caused that the priests should assemble themselves together; and they began to fast, and to pray to the Lord their God that he would open the mouth of Alma, that he might speak, and also that his limbs might receive their strength—that the eyes of the people might be opened to see and know of the goodness and glory of God.

Dating

The part that applies to me is found in the prayer that Alma prays for the people that their “eyes might be opened to see and know the goodness and glory of God.” As I’ve studied the concept of having one’s eye’s opened, I’ve found that it is something that the Lord mentions all throughout the scriptures. I was amazed at how many scriptural messages apply to having ones eyes opened. I realized through my study that just because I have my physical sight does not mean that I am seeing all that I could. Unfortunately there are numerous examples of this scattered about my dating history. At times my desire to be in a relationship has blinded my judgment of how compatible I really am with someone. And I’m starting to wonder if I may have idea’s or judgments that prevent me from seeing those who could be a good match for me. Who knows really? I can only hope that as I seek to see clearly that eyes of my understanding may be open (D&C 110:1).

Workin it Wednesday's

2012-05-02T08:06:00.002-06:00

the REAL way

I started meeting these lovelies 7 years ago. First was Round in the MTC, then was Mari, Brit, Kristi and finally Kim. Four years ago we were all in the same ward going to school and adjusting to post mission life. Last night we all got together. Everyone is in a different spot now, most are married, some still single, one is a mom, a few are about to be. We all went around the table and talked about what's going on in our lives. As everyone gave their update I noticed that we all had something really great happening right now and something equally as challenging. No ones challenges seemed easier than the others, and yet I was inspired by how well each handles her own, I mean look how happy they all look. They have always been such great examples of faith to me and I am so grateful that even though our circumstances have shifted, my admiration for each of them has remained in tact because of how they live each day. And isn't that what real beauty is about?

Dating my way through the Book of Mormon

2012-04-30T17:39:00.000-06:00

Mosiah 29:19-20

Background

As the life of King Mosiah son of King Benjamin draws to an end, he establishes the reign of the judges when his son’s refuse to be king. As King Mosiah presents this plan to his people he recounts the story of King Noah’s people.

Scripture

Mosiah 29

19 And were it not for the interposition of their all- wise Creator, and this because of their sincere repentance, they must unavoidably remain in bondage until now.

20 But behold, he did deliver them because they did humble themselves before him; and because they cried mightily unto him he did deliver them out of bondage; and thus doth the Lord work with his power in all cases among the children of men, extending the arm of mercy towards them that put their trust in him.

Dating

Those scriptures have never really stood out to me until this week. As I’ve thought about them I have loved the truth within them. You see I am a worrier. I often wonder if misjudgments on my part are really to blame for the single life I lead today. The “what if’s” “if only’s” and “next time I’ll…” run through my mind daily. However, if these scriptures are true, then all I really need to worry about is repenting, and making my life more in tune with the gospel. I realized that God isn’t keeping score. He isn’t remembering mistakes and reminding us of them continuously. He wants progression for His children. I think that this scripture illustrates that so well. Any time some one’s mistakes are brought up later on in the Book of Mormon it is to either show the mercy of God towards the repentant, or justice for the unrepentant. Once He’s forgiven and forgotten it is our job to do the same for ourselves.

Dating my way through the Book of Mormon

2012-04-23T18:00:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite scriptural parallels in the Book of Mormon is the difference between the Lord’s deliverance of his people as seen in the story of Limhi and Alma the elder. Both sets of people came from the reign of the wicked king Noah. Both ended up in Zarahemla. Both were forced to find Zarahemla because of persecution inflicted upon them at the hands of the Lamanites, yet in my opinion Alma the elder’s journey was easier because this group was willing to follow the commandments of the Lord. The Lord eased the burdens of Alma the Elder's group because they called upon Him, He told the people when to leave “caused a deep sleep to come upon the Lamanites” and made sure that they had enough time to get safely to Zarahemla. Limhi’s people had to endure the suffering because they had not harkened to the words of the prophet Abinadi, trick the Lamanites so that they could leave, and I’m sure made a much more stressful journey to Zarahemla. Did the Lord help both groups. Yes. Does one journey seem easier? I think so. The difference? One group chose to be humble and the other had to be humbled.

I met a lady this week that was telling me how hard it was to date in the church. Don’t I knowthat? Last summer my well meaning Auntie’s suggested that one of my problems was that I dated LDS guys in Utah and should branch out a bit. I haven’t run across the best of men in these parts. Other people have suggested that I just enjoy being single. I’ve considered it all. I’ve felt at times that my desire for marriage and family was a great burden as a single woman. However in the end I feel that my life has been tremendously blessed because of my desire for marriage. The Lord has healed my heart numerous times and has granted me comfort beyond anything I could have imagined. My testimony of Him has grown and been strengthened in ways that I could have only hoped for. Truly I as the people of Helam have had my burden lightened because of my faith in Christ. Maybe it might seem easier for a moment to date those not seeking a temple marriage. In the end I believe that the best way for me to live is to be seeking an eternal relationship and let the Lord take care of the rest.

Having it all

2012-04-20T07:35:00.001-06:00

Dear Jeremy

I cannot imagine anything greater in life than finding a profession and person to love. Sounds like the American dream right? I'll enjoy my half if you'll enjoy yours and pray that we each find the rest very soon.

Love,
The sister who doesn't mind long days at the job she loves

He just doesn't stop....

2012-04-18T22:26:00.001-06:00

I can't stomach the rest. He kept texting and texting and texting and I figured that instead of having the last word I'd rather have silence. It's too exhausting to keep going on and on like that.

"your fears are legit"

2012-04-18T12:54:00.001-06:00

DB: Hey I don't like to have any bad feelings towards anyone. It's hurtful to me that you were only interested in me for a free meal. But I forgive you I know
DB: I'm not exactly the guy of any girls dreams. And I'm sorry I was so forward and your fears are legit yes I have been a pig in the past and just made
DB: out with girls and never talked to them again but I was truly sincere with my affection towards you but I understand. I'm sorry I really don't blame you and I hope I see you around.

How on earth do I respond?!

"reading a book with my eyes closed"

2012-04-16T22:01:00.000-06:00

My first date with this guy inspired this post. The end unfolds itself below:

DB: hey (10:16 pm Sunday night)
C: hey
DB: What are you doing? Do you want to hang out for a bit?
C: Not tonight, I'm going to bed
DB: Tomorrow?
C: What do you have in mind
DB: Oh well I'm not much of a planner i like to just go with the flow but we could go hot tubing and just hang out, talk
DB:Well?
C: I don't know
DB: What do you mean? I really don't care what we do I just want to be with you
C: I just felt like you were kind of forward and I need to go slower than that
DB: I was holding back alot! Usually i always cuddle or kiss on the first date if I like a girl.
C: Yeah I just can't go there that fast
DB: That's fine. I just feel like I can communicate better through touch than words if that makes sense. I can go slow but it's like trying to read a book with your eyes closed. I feel like if I can hold you I can read your thoughts and emotions more easily.
C: Wow I think that maybe we aren't a good match, you seem great but maybe not for me, good luck with everything
DB: Why do you say that? Are you always not physical even after you are dating or just at the beginning of dating? Cus I can keep my hands to myself for a few dates til you feel comfortable or whatever.
DB: so my policy if you are a slow notes is that you say for yourself when wd hang out. Otherwise I just feel like i am being used. mer that make sense? I think that is fair.
C: Huh? Some of that didn't make sense
DB: I don't have a problem going slow. But if you are going slow because you are trying to decide if you like me i don't want to be shelling out all this cash buying you dinners movies activities and then you decide you aren't interested. That would be messed up. I've dated alot and I know how to weed
DB: out girls who do that stuff and the best way is to either move fast so I can find out how interested they are or say hey you got to pay your way while
DB: you make up your mind as to whether you like me or not. I know it's against traditional dating rules but I think its fair.
C: After one date! That's crazy good luck with that one
DB: So you're saying you will only hang out with me if I pay?
DB: I'll pay if You'll hold my hand and cuddle with me.
C: No that's not what I'm saying at all! This is starting to sound like a prostitution agreement, which is gross, are you listening to yourself? Relationships should be based on trust and respect not cuddling!
5 hours later
DB: So do you want to hang out tonight? I'll pay tonight! Dinner and then hot tub or just chill up in the canyon.
C: No thanks
DB:Good to meet you too!

Dating my way through the Book of Mormon

2012-04-16T21:38:00.000-06:00

Alma 11-17 and beyond....

Abinadi was the first Book of Mormon prophets that I personally connected to. I remember hearing Book of Mormon stories as a child, but it wasn’t until I was 19 that the words made sense as I read them myself. I remember being struck by the intensity of Abinadi’s testimony as he was burned for crying repentance to the people. To this day every time I read the Book of Mormon I look forward to the testimony and story of Abinadi. As I’ve read I have pondered the life of this great man. We know so little about him. Did he have a family? What experiences did he have that lead to this moment where he was willing to give EVERYTHING to the Lord. The thing I wonder about the most is if he knew that his words had touched Alma. Alma does speak up in King Noah’s court, but did Abinadi know that? It’s hard to say. What I learned as I pondered this story is that from Alma comes a generation of powerful influential prophets who prepare the people for the coming of Christ. Alma and his son and grandsons were instrumental in the conversion of thousands of Lamanites. So many of the people that we love in the Book of Mormon come because of Abinadi, and yet he may have died not knowing that anyone had listened to the message which he died for.

There are so many applicable comparisons. Missionary work, therapy, primary lesson, talks in church, I could probably relate a lot of things to this story since we’re talking about dating I stick with that for today. A few years ago I was dating a guy who seemed really great. When we started dating I warned him that I suffered from really bad PMS, and told him about the things I was doing to try and manage it. When I was done telling him about it he said “have you prayed about it” I sheepishly said no, and decided to give it a try. We didn’t date for very long and a few months later is when I discovered hormone replacement therapy which totally transformed my life. He may never not even remember that conversation and yet it’s outcome has immensely transformed my life and will for years to come.

The thing that I love so much about the Book of Mormon is that we get to see stories like Abinadi’s and understand the significance of his testimony after he died. We may not be able to see how the little things effect our lives now but I know that the good we do effects others and ourselves in positive ways. I have had lots of relationships that haven’t worked out, but I have learned something important from each person and experience that have helped shape who I am today. Maybe one day I’ll understand it all, until then I take comfort in the fact that good carries on and on if we let it.

Dear Jeremy

2012-04-13T11:24:00.003-06:00

Movies are never good first date activities. As usually this is one of those things that I thought everyone knew and didn't have to discuss. Of course if you are interested in knowing how 'easy' your date is that's probably a whole different story, and post.....

Sincerly Yours,
The sister who's only hugging armrests.....

Dating my way through the Book of Mormon

2012-04-09T07:41:00.001-06:00

I think I have writers block. Probably a few reasons. One is that I'm adjusting my new job and work schedule. Whenever things change like this, unfortunately my scripture study suffers for a minute. I'll get there, we all have those moments right?

The other issue is that I'm not really dating right now. I feel so blah about it. Where to go, what to do, what does it all mean?! And why after all the work I've done do I still feel a little zing when my little brother says in jest "who's the one who's 29 and single" Ouch. (In all fairness I started it and my comment to him was probably just hurtful, and I probably know better)

And so for this week I think I'll call this good. The one thing I did learn this week is that the Lord is always working for us. Reaching out, planting seeds, hoping we'll see that He's there, and I'm sure that even when I feel blah about dating, He's probably still working out all of the details, and for now that is enough.

Stop It

2012-04-07T11:19:00.001-06:00

This was one of our favorite "therapist" video's in grad school. Such great training right? It was all I could think of during President Uchtdorf's talk during the Sunday morning session of conference. Enjoy!

Dear Jeremy,

2012-04-06T08:01:00.000-06:00

Hanging out (definition #4 is most fitting on this link) really is a no win situation. Besides being against the advice of Elder Oaks, I have found that in the long run this practice only leads to confusion, a lack of initiative, motivation and character. You may have friends who claim to have met a 'significant other' by hanging out. Sure dating can be awkward, but if you're over 25 and most of your interaction with young ladies is through hanging out, I promise there is a problem. You're better than that and so are the girls you may hang out with.

Sincerely,
Your sister who is now locking her cupboard

confession

2012-04-05T23:26:00.000-06:00

Have you ever done something,
That you really hoped you'd never ever have to do (again),
(I may have had a profile pre-mish......)
Only because it was getting to that point?
Tonight
I.
Completed a profile.
For:
A LDS dating site.
I shudder just thinking about it,
I pray that something else will work out,
And I figure,
That if nothing else it will spice up the blog a bit,
Weeding someone out might be easier than an actual date,
Or more work,
But mostly because,
It is one of the only socially acceptable ways to look for men in my pj's.
That last line made me sound really bad,
But alas,
That's where I'm at.
And truthfully I figured,
That I might as well open up all channels for finding,
Even those on single's websites.
Ugh.
Heaven help me...
Here goes nothing right?!

Workin it Wednesdays

2012-04-04T11:18:00.001-06:00

Ode to Sister Missionary Mall

It may seem weird that a store created to dress sister missionaries is where I began to figure out my own style. Any sister who before 2009 received their anticipated mission call and nearly gagged at the photo's of what you were supposed to look like for 18 months (at least I did). However it was at Sister Missionary Mall where I got to think a lot about modesty and fashion and how they really can work together. This week has been kind of crazy, and I can tell I'm tired in most of the pictures I took.
Tip: If you're feeling a bit worn down wear something bolder than normal. This draws peoples attention away from any visable signs of exaustion and allows you to "fake it till you feel it" Always a plus!

Dating my way through the Book of Mormon

2012-04-02T08:45:00.001-06:00

Enos 1

Enos really is one of my favorite prophets in the Book of Mormon. I know that he only has a few verses in a single chapter, but I think that he is a lot like James who wrote little and said a lot. I love how hard Enos prays. He writes with such intensity that I can almost imagine him in his plea to the Lord for forgiveness. Once the Lord grants Enos forgiveness, he continues praying for the Lamanites, and that one day the record which he writes will help the them to understand the true nature of God.

I’ve read this chapter numerous times. One day it hit me that in our day we have seen the fulfillment of the Lord’s personal promise to Enos. The Lamanites have received the record, and it has changed them! Throughout the pages of the Book of Mormon are numerous promises made by the Lord to his servants for this very thing to occur. Thousands of years later we can see that the fulfillment of those promises.

Understanding this principle really helped me to gain a new perspective about this time in my life. The Lord has personally made a lot of promises to me concerning my future family. In fact He began making those promises to me at a young age. There was a time when I wondered if maybe I would always be single. When I understood what I was reading in Enos’s chapter I began to remember that the Lord would not make a promise to any of us that He did not intend to keep. He fulfills promise after promise, He always has and He always will. For me remembering this has made dating more hopeful. Today my testimony is that the Lord always speaks truth and keeps promises.

Liz Lemmon's Deal Breakers

2012-03-30T23:59:00.001-06:00

30 Rock is one of my favorites and I stumbled upon this little gem and thought I'd share. Sometimes it's easier to have insight into someone else's issues, I won't tell you know I know that's true.....

Dear Jeremy

2012-03-30T12:43:00.002-06:00

I am an older sister too three amazing siblings. At times I have felt a great sense of responsibility to make sure that my two brothers and only sister became exceptional human beings. Jeremy probably got the worst of it as he is only two years younger than I. My mother tells of how at the age of four I used to try and help 2 year old Jeremy pronounce words correctly (he has a little lisp, adorable right?). As we got older my correction became a little more extreme, and when I was a teenager..... let's just say that I am thrilled that we can look back and laugh. Whenever he's around and someone mentions me being a therapist, he always says that he was my first patient. He's such a good sport.

I like to think that my life-long advice and counsel is what has made Jeremy into the amazing young man he is, but I know that isn't entirely true. As she usually does Taylor Swift sings it best when she says "God smiles on my little brother, inside and out he's better than me" we must have the same brother because that is how I would describe mine, both of them actually.

And so I for my next blog segment I thought I'd name it after the boy who heard it all first. Jeremy. Isn't he handsome? Sorry lady's he's dating an amazing girl currently who is perfect for him (I may have set them up ;))

I've been a bit blocked as to what to write first. I'll come up with something I'm sure. Part of my blockage comes from the fact that right now, he's doing pretty well and doesn't need much advice. Maybe I'll write to Kyle, he's only just begun and is just as adorable:

Then again Kyle is pretty smart and has most things figured out, but didn't we all at 17?

Workin it Wednesdays

2012-03-28T10:14:00.001-06:00

I don't really have much to say this week, but I do have a few photo's and I am loving spring!

Dating my way through the Book of Mormon

2012-03-26T14:34:00.001-06:00

1Nephi 17:9

Background

After eight years in the wilderness Lehi and his family arrive at the land Bountiful where they enjoy fruit and seaside living (sounds nice right). After several days in Bountiful the spirit prompts Nephi to go into the mountains, where the Lord gives him a commandment to build a boat to cross the waters.

Scripture

1Nephi 16: 9 “And I said: Lord whither shall I go that I may find ore to molten, that I may make tools to construct the ship after the manner which though hast shown unto me”

Result

The Lord shows Nephi where to find ore to make tools. Nephi begins to build a ship; his brothers eventually help in the project. The family arrives in the promise land.

Dating Application

I love that after Nephi is shown how to build a boat his first question is about finding ore to make tools. There are probably a lot of questions he could have asked after seeing that vision, and yet he starts with the basics. Ore for tools. I think that it really shows a lot of faith on Nephi’s part. Nephi knows that if the Lord commands something that he will provide a way to accomplish the commandment. I feel lucky to have so many accounts of this principle through Nephi’s writings and example.

Last fall I was sitting in a church meeting and suddenly felt completely hopeless about my prospects for marriage. Usually I am pretty positive and upbeat but at that moment it felt impossible, and I just hoped that I could keep it together until I was at least in my car. I kept asking what I could do to give my hopeless feelings over to the Savior. The answer came in the way of plans I had already made with my roommate. While I was away she had packed a picnic and was waiting for me to get home so we could go up the canyon. As we drove through the lovely fall foliage in the Provo Canyon I talked, she listened and by the time we got to the top of Squaw Peak I felt better.

That day the Lord lifted my burden. A few days later when I felt hopeless again, I asked for a Priesthood blessing, and after the blessing was given I began pondering what I needed to do to make sure that the things I was promised by the Lord became true for me. Bit by bit the hopelessness was diminished by a renewed sense of faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. As I asked for ways to turn my burned over, my mind was inspired and the Atonement became real for me. One my favorite things about the Book of Mormon is that it's teachings apply to us all in a variety of circumstances, even dating....Until next time!

Workin it Wednesdays

2012-03-21T09:09:00.002-06:00

Background

Now that I have a NEW JOB (I know it's so exciting), and I'll be leaving Sister Missionary Mall (which is sad but necessary), I need a new fashion outlet. I seriously considered starting a fashion blog, but think that this once a week gig will be good enough for now.

Trend

I don't know about you but I came from a "matching" family. Everything had to match, the belt, shoes, and anything else I was wearing needed to match (not a hard fast rule). We were all always asking my mom if what we were wearing matched. It took me a long time to break this mind set but pinterest helped a lot and ever since then I've been testing the pattern mixing wave and loving it! For me it feels like an accomplishment to mix non-matching items and still stand back and say "yeah that works."

Examples

I am loving plaids lately and really loved that this shirt was pink, purple, large gingham print and $5! I wore the striped bow blouse to work and was thrilled when it took on a scarf look under the collared shirt...

This look wasn't so much pattern mixing as it was random with a two toned, pleated, a-line hemmed skirt over a striped dress with a belt. Perfect for our stake's "Spring Fling" on St. Patricks day. And if you think you've seen the last of those floral pants my roommate borrowed from me, you are so so wrong!

What is your favorite way to work it? (which by the way is one of my favorite things that Rachel Knudsen Sorensen says ;))

Dating my way through the Book of Mormon

2012-03-19T11:57:00.001-06:00

1Nephi 4:6

Background

After two failed attempts to gain the record from Laban, Nephi decides to take matter into his own hands( 1Nephi 3-4). If I were Nephi, going get the record from Laban after he has already robbed and threatened to kill my brothers seem daunting. And yet Nephi responds in faith, and remembers how merciful the Lord had been in delivering the children of Israel; and continues his commitment to keep this commandment.

Scripture

“And I was lead by the spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.”

Result

The Lord delivers Laban to Nephi; Nephi obtains the record and returns to his family safely.

Dating Application

When the Lord gives a commandment there are several ways to respond. Ignore the commandment, approach it by murmuring, or go forward with faith. As I’ve pondered this story the past few days I have to wonder if Laman and Lemuel’s failed attempts at getting the plates had more to do with their own fear (of failure among other fears) than another character flaw. Maybe their fear got in the way of their approach. It is hard to say since we weren’t there and only have Nephi’s account, however they did try to keep the commandments and for that I give them both props. I think that we can all agree that Laban seems like a pretty intense guy!

A couple of years ago I was at a workshop and discovered that deep down I didn’t want to be married. It really caught me off guard because for my entire life that is all I ever thought I wanted. As I reflected upon the examples this story shares I realized that because of my fear of marriage my dating attempts (or approach at keeping the commandment to marry) have for me resulted in feeling more like I was being threatened and robbed than being delivered. It would be easier to blame men, society, the culture I live in, my parents or video games for my single status. Yet it’s clear through Nephi’s example that complete trust in the Lord and faith in His ability to deliver is the best way to approach commandments.

Lucky for me, each day is a new opportunity to change my approach, give up the things that are holding me back, and completely trust in the Lord as Nephi did. I love that even my imperfect attempts at trusting Him are rewarded with rich blessings. I also feel profoundly grateful for the truths contained within the Book of Mormon. I testify that within it’s 531 pages are countless examples of people who trusted in God and were delivered by Him. Nephi recited the example of Moses and the Lord parting the Red Sea to deliver the children of Israel (1Nephi 4:2-3), to strengthen his faith, and as I move forward his example strengthens my ability to trust and move forward with faith.