But I left you hanging….

I left out the direct down-to earth biz-nis parallel.

(The fingers gots tired and the coffee ran dry.)

I saw the movie through a business coach’s perspective and past COO.

Eddy made ‘operational’ errors like a sociopath business owner. He thought the only way to his ultimate goal, required him to compromise on who he wanted to be. He got everything he planned for and almost none of the freedoms he wanted.

The goal of a non-sociopath businesses is to have time, location and money freedom, while helping others.

I think you also want this.

However if you enjoying working hard long hours, struggling to make it… please don’t read further.
This will invade your safe-space of hustle and take away your ability to brag about how hard you worked.

Secret sociopath business owners (SSBO) unknowingly create systems that trap themselves and LIMIT their world changing goodness.

And lose their freedom.

They mean well.
Like a child giving a dirty cat a bath.

It is a seemingly good idea that turns tragic from not knowing the nature of the beast.

I once was a SSBO myself, and it nearly killed me.
(A deathly cocaine habit would have been more enjoyable.)

Being an SSBO is deceptively self-imprisoning.

Here is why…

Sociopaths, unlike their psychopath cousins, have a conscience. They do what they do, even if they don’t like it. They think it is the only way to succeed.

SSOBs inefficiently hustle and grind their way to results.
They don’t like the grind.
It is results only.

You can’t really call it a success if the process is killing you mentally, physically or emotionally.

The biggest symptom of a SSBO is they THEMSELVES have to do the specific task.

SSBOs need to prove a point to someone…

To prove

** Their loyalty (helpfulness)
** Their importance (influence)
** Their ability (power)
** Their cunning (logic)

and take all the credit
cuz if they don’t….

They THINK they won’t deserve the results.

Let’s see it how it works through a few bits of typical faulty SSOB hustle–n-grind logic:

•  “I’m the only one who can do X cus No one is better than me.”
• “If I can’t do it then I can’t ask someone else to do it….”
• “I’m going to prove to myself/father/peer group/ I can do it. (A type of revenge)”
• “Guru Joe did it XXXX way. If I can’t do it the exact same… bahhh what good am I?”
•  “I can’t afford to outsource….

(Note: This is why I teach you the Indirect Method to getting things done when you don’t have cash reserves.)

There is nothing lawfully wrong with this kind of hustle-and-grind.

But it does significantly limit your FREEDOM.

Sure, Edmond was super crafty to figure out how to use the law to his advantage. It took him a bazillion years to work out his plan, (loss of time). He was forced to travel to places he didn’t want to go (location freedom). It nearly cost him his entire fortune (financial freedom).

• Worse he had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t.
• Worst he couldn’t share the experience with anyone.

Dantes got mentally right after his right hand man nut-kicked him with the truth.

Dream are only worth having if you can share them.

He was on the edge of getting everything he planned for, but losing everyone he wanted to share it with.

This leads to the practical biz-nes advice……

The operational error with all SSBO mindsets is….
It prevents you from SCALING.

Learning to scale is the only way to have full time, location and wealth freedom.

The only way to scale is to remove yourself and allow others to take over every part of your business. (Of course you can keep doing the parts you really enjoy, if you want to.)

You have to let go of doing it exactly your way
and stop pretending of being something you are not.

You have to get out of the self-imprisonment of hustle-and-grind proving to yourself you can do ALL THE THINGS.

In my experience most scaling problems have to do with ego.
And most of those don’t look like ego at first.

This is why stuck business owners are secret sociopaths. It looks like they are doing the right thing, even if the process sucks ass for them.

For example: “I can’t ask someone to do something I haven’t done at least once.”
It smells of anti-hypocrisy.

But it is a self-centered mentally deranged definition of hypocrisy, forcing them to think they need to be something they are not.

This Pirate has a soft spot for these mentally deranged individuals…

Cuz he knows, they know, the story of this hustle-and-grind is wrong.

They feel it deep in their bones.
***The best of who they are is not coming out.***

It is the ache we all feel while we are an SSBO.
This is real reason for all the self-proving. (Self-improving)

It is the desire to get their best out into the world.

The Pirate sees it in their eyes.

And he knows there is an easier, better, faster path.

One simple question:
Where do you think your business absolutely depends on you?

I Pirate promise you, your next level of freedom is waiting for you right there.

Until Next Monday

(P.S. Being a SSBO is a stage everyone goes through. Recognizing you are one is the first step to freedom)

The post Part 2: The guide to freedom for secret sociopath business owners appeared first on Christopher Browning Business and Confidence Coach.

The main character Edmond Dantes goes on a sociopath warpath after getting kicked in the nuts by his best buddy, who steals his smoking hot girlfriend.

If you haven’t read the book by Alexander Dumas, I don’t just recommend it.

It is required reading for any man who doesn’t want to be beaten down by life and a-holes.

This true masterpiece is a how-to guide on killing off the internal wimp to never be taken advantage of again.

Our main dude Eddy is framed and sent to island prison Chateau d’If. (Which is French for “House of you’re f****d for life.), where he pleads his innocence to the douchebag magistrate.

El douchebag says “I know you are innocent. The only people sent here are those they (the powers that be) are embarrassed about.”

Edmond is innocent in two ways….
*** Not committing a crime
*** Not having wisdom (being naïve)

His lack of wisdom got him screwed; cuz the world is not kind for those who lack wisdom.

For 7 years at Chateau d’If, Eddy lamented his life thinking he was worthless, forgotten and his personal desires foolish. Nobody cared or remembered him… at least that is what he thought.

He had no wisdom to think otherwise……

Here is your first lesson my fellow world changer.

A lack of wisdom makes you feel worthless ESPECIALLY if you have been screwed over once. It keeps you trapped in prison. Being naïve makes you think SMALL!

You live in your fears….

When you live in fear, you can’t live in your dreams.

Fear makes you think you are not good enough right now.

That is exactly where Edmond was until the Priest accidently bust through his prison-cell floor. Padre promises wisdom in exchange for Edmond’s help in tunneling out. But it will take a lot more time.

Wisdom is like that…

It will help you get everything you want, if you are willing to do the work.

Jump cut 14 years forward.

Edmond breaks out of prison with a headful of worldly wisdom.

Never again does he live in fear or wonder if he has what it takes to make it in the world on his own.

He plots his revenge with sociopath precision. He takes each person who put in him in prison by out entrapping them with the same tactics used on him not caring about the collateral damage

But there is a cost to his time and soul…

While he didn’t do anything lawfully wrong, his desire of revenge had no meaning. Revenge makes us think we have to do it on our own.

He nearly loses himself until ex-hot-girlfriend and a new best friend remind him dreams are only complete dreams if when they are shared with others.

He could have gotten everything he wanted WAY earlier if he let others help him

And that is final lesson fellow world changer..

The ultimate fear we all have to overcome is believing our desires are good enough to share with others.

This is where worldly wisdom intersects soul wisdom.

I promise you whatever your desires are, at the core of them, is a kernel of soul-truth many others already share with you.

Here are my final questions to you.

Are you living in some kind of fear?
Do think you don’t have what it takes to make it?
Have you wondered if what you want, is good enough for others to share with you?
Are you caught in the small thinking you have to do it all on your own (to prove something.. to someone…)?

The smallest yes to any of these means to seek out more wisdom for your head and soul.

Until next Monday

The post The short upside to getting revenge like a sociopath appeared first on Christopher Browning Business and Confidence Coach.

“Do what you love, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life!”

Or maybe its cousin:

“Do what you love and the money will follow!”

It’s a beautifully simple idea. It’s also fatally flawed.

There is some validity to the statement, but not enough to make it a viable method for living one’s life. Why? Because it ignores an astronomically important truth:

The market must want to pay for what you love to do.

There are no exceptions to this. If someone is willing to part with their hard earned dollars, you had something they desired. Learn more about creating demand in your business. [LINK: article on creating demand]

Doing something that only you love is called a hobby, or an avocation for you technical Latin lovers. (Ironically, or perhaps not so ironically, another definition for “avocation” is distraction or diversion. Take from that what you will.) [LINK: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/avocation]

In spite of this, there is good news. It is possible to find something that energizes you, and that people are willing to pay for. More on that in a little bit, but first, let’s talk about what it is you really love.

Everyone wants to do a job that they love, right? Are you sure about that?

The fact is, we all want something much more than a job we love to do.

We want impact. In fact, we need it.

Impact has a lot of definitions, but for our purposes, let’s call it, “the lasting effect we have on the world, and the people in it.” Impact brings true, lasting fulfillment. Far too often people think if they do something they love, it will somehow “complete” them as human beings. References to Jerry Maguire aside, more often than not it ends up being only half the equation, leaving them feeling unfulfilled and frustrated. Only when impact is created by something you love do you truly feel fulfilled.

It Matters that we Matter

I believe we’re hard coded to help our fellow humans. This is impact, maybe the most significant kind in fact. There is a need deep inside each of us to feel as if we matter somehow. We want to create a better world, and know that our actions and words have made a difference. Losing that desire is what often leads people to take on “bad” jobs. Learn more about this and of course, how to regain the desire for impact here.

Many of us in our constant search for impact create businesses, usually around things we’re passionate about. The difficulty is, creating a business centered on our own passions and loves, and not on what people are willing to buy, is… well, there’s no way to be delicate here… it’s a form of business masturbation. It serves only ourselves.

Impact is about creating something greater than ourselves that positively affects the world around us.

Our primary responsibility as human beings whirling through space on this big blue marble is to take positive action – action that helps others. They in turn, do the same, creating a continuous feedback loop that benefits all of humanity.

This sense of creating meaningful impact is what fulfills us IN THE END.

BOOM.

I’m going to repeat that last bit because it sounds like a “Big Idea.”

“…fulfills us IN THE END.”

Yup, that’s a Big Idea alright. The fact is, you’ll have to go through a lot of “road apples” before you get to the point of creating real impact. (That’s horse-sh*t for those who did not grow up around gentlemanly cowboys.)

It’s a fundamental truth: Every career / business has crap we don’t want to do.

This crap is seen as an obstacle blocking our way to fulfillment and happiness. However, when we focus only on doing what we love, we avoid going through those necessary undesirables – and they are necessary.

When we convert our mindset toward making impact, we find the motivation and creativity to get through the obstacles. Pushing through them leaves you with a feeling of accomplishment, which in turn increases your desire to push forward.

The Difference Between “How” and “What”

Now this all sounds great in the abstract, but you’re still going to need daily actions which energize you in the short term.

Dig me here?

Those “actions” are what I call your proficiencies and strengths. Everybody has access to methods by which they can solve specific problems efficiently. This “toolbox” is unique to each of us, as are the tools found inside.

When we work from our toolbox, that can be rewarding in of itself. Problem solving using our own wisdom and intelligence energizes us. It’s the work we could do all day long and lose track of time. You’ve probably heard this described as being in flow.

Being in flow can happen in both work and hobbies. What the gurus get wrong is teaching that what you do is the most important attribute of your happiness and energy. They argue that once you discover something that makes you happy and energized, you should focus entirely on turning that into a career, regardless of whether a market exists or not.

What’s missing here is the how. How you get something done has many times more impact on your happiness and energy. Why? Because by focusing on the how, you can tailor your proficiencies and strengths to problems that exist in the market – problems that people will gladly pay someone to solve.

Very often the “how” can lead you on an entirely new path, one you may never have known existed before.

The best way to illustrate this is through an analogy, using a chainsaw and a chisel. (I promise this isn’t going where you think it’s going.)

Let’s say I’m very good with a chainsaw. I love using the chainsaw. Now let’s say I’m not really fulfilled by the idea of getting dirty, or trekking deep into the woods – maybe I had a sheltered life or something. Anyway, if I only focus on the what (using a chainsaw), then my options become pretty limited. The market simply doesn’t need a chainsaw operator who doesn’t like being in the woods.

Now let’s focus on the “how.” Let’s say there’s a huge demand in the market for creative and intricate carvings. People will pay top dollar for beautiful and unique wood sculptures. Of course, carving wood requires the use of a hammer and chisel, tools that I don’t enjoy using and are not very skilled with. But what if…? I decide to try and apply my righteous chainsaw kung fu skills to carving. Thanks to my skills and creative nature, I’m able to create beautiful, unique and surprisingly intricate sculptures for which people are willing to pay a premium price.

Essentially, I’ve taken a theoretically lower paying skill that I learned elsewhere and transitioned it into a premium service that meets a need and fulfills me personally and creatively. I’ve created impact by focusing on the “how” rather than the “what.”

The Two Types of Impact

Let’s break down the idea of impact a little more. Impact comes in two distinct flavours: Direct and Indirect.

Direct Impact. In this case, the effect we want to create in the world is directly related to the products and services we’re offering. For example, if I created a product that saved the lives of people involved in car accidents, then that would be direct impact. Creating direct impact is usually a conscious choice and is evidenced by the “disruptors” of the world such as Elon Musk. This may also be referred to as a “calling.” Direct impact is the type most gurus focus on. The idea of “changing the world” and such often runs counter to people’s idea of impact. Many of us simply wish to have impact in our families, or in our careers. Those people are looking for the second type of impact: indirect.

Indirect Impact. This is the type of impact most of us will probably have in the world. People who actively create indirect impact often do not need (or want) to be recognized as a world-changer, but simply want the satisfaction of knowing that their work has in some way helped others. This type works well for product creators who want to build an environment that increases people’s happiness.

Finding your Strengths and Proficiencies

One of the best ways to identify the things at which you’re naturally skilled is through the Meyers Briggs Strengths Finder 2.0 test. [LINK: Do we want to link to the test here?] The results may confirm things you already knew about yourself, but occasionally you’ll find some surprises as well, strengths that encourage exploration. You never know what you might find.

The information I’ve shared with you in this article is very high level. Any real discussion of impact would take far more space than I have available here, but I’d like to offer you a guide that digs into these ideas in far greater detail. Within you’ll find more examples and practical strategies you can use to apply these principles to your own life.

I also show you how to create a business that creates the impact you want and meets the needs of the market, as well as how to position that business at a premium price.

You can download your copy of the guide by following this link. [LINK: Guide]

The world is waiting to see what you have to offer.

The post How to Create Impact And Get Paid For It appeared first on Christopher Browning Business and Confidence Coach.

“Is it necessary to LOVE what I do?”

The simple answer is, no. if you enjoy just surviving.

However, if you want something more than a minimum wage grunt work then yes you need to love what you do.

Social economic changes have created a new work standard and the reason people buy.

Now how you run your business is more important than what you do.

The required love I speak about is enjoying the process in which you create results.

Career experts classify tasks into two distinct categories: Creative and Repetitive. These categories share a simple truth:

Your brain needs to solve problems.

Repetitive jobs, such as most manual labor jobs, share a unique feature. They allow you to get into a type of flow where the work becomes automatic, much like ridding a bicycle. Once automated, the brain is free to drift between subconscious and conscious problem solving.

Many people can find fulfillment through these jobs because they are both mentally solving problems, and simultaneously producing something with their hands. They get the feeling of accomplishment that comes with physically creating something, and they feel mentally satisfied because their brain was able to do what it’s hardwired to do – solve problems.

A type of magic happens when our body is engaged in repetitive tasks. Our subconscious freed to explore creative solutions we are unable to do consciously.

This is why we often have our best ideas in the shower, while exercising, etc. Our brains are relaxed and able to access our full creativity and have those “aha!” moments.

Creative jobs require you to use mental skills to solve unique problems. Accountants, Designers, Lawyers and anyone in a Customer Service position are good examples. For these careers, unique strategies, ideas and solutions are required for each transactions. Very little can be “automated.” Your brain gets a boost by being able to directly solve a problem. The fulfillment that is gained from these jobs is one of direct interaction. This is because there are no repetitive tasks to allow the brain to drift into subconscious problem solving. It has to be in a fully active and creative mode at all times.

Time for another truth:

10+ years ago it was entirely possible to hold a very good job without needing to be fully mentally engaged in it.

There were many more manual labor jobs at that time, most of which did not require you to be fully present. However, thanks to outsourcing and automation, there are far fewer of these jobs available.

This has resulted in more and more people being pushed into the creative fields, increasing competition. Where once you could be “pretty good” at a creative job and get away with it, you now have to be great at it, and be able to meet higher expectations from employers. The increased supply has given businesses the opportunity to be far more choosy about hiring.

The automation of our lives is causing a massive shift in our society. We’re moving up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a whole

**We might want to put some sort of link here, or even a simplistic diagram to explain what the Hierarchy is. Many people have heard of it, but may not know what it actually is – It depends on the audience. Your call.**

We’re no longer so concerned with survival. Automation and modern technology has removed the struggle of eating and obtaining quality housing. Medical advances once thought to be miracles are common place improving the average quality of life.

Society as a whole is moving from basic survival, into esteem and self-actualization.

As society moves up the hierarchy, businesses are also shift their focus, especially when hiring. They want people whom are skilled, and personally engaged in the work itself. They want people who love what they do and put themselves wholly into the work.

“Good enough,” simply isn’t any more.

As individuals we’re looking for people who are themselves self-actualized, to help us become more self-actualized.

A decade ago we focused more on facts and knowledge, now the people we choose to work and interact with are the ones who engage with us.

Facts, knowledge and even products must now be enhanced with an experience.

The effect of all this is that we are no longer living in a world where you can just be “competent” at a repetitive job and succeed. Employers have far higher expectations for the people they hire.

What about manual labor vocations that have a shortage of skilled people? Many of those jobs are being filled by migrant workers who are willing to work for far lower cost – making it a win for employers.  (Robots soon?)

This entire idea can be boiled down to a simple statement:

If you don’t love your job and find some kind of fulfillment from it, you’ll be replaced by someone who does.

One more thing to keep in mind. As society moves up the hierarchy, you cannot avoid this shift. We mimic those around us, often unconsciously. When our friends and family find personally fulfilling jobs and employers require engagement from their employees, you’ll find yourself pushed towards a path of wanting and requiring the same.

Is there room in the workforce for everybody to “love” their job?

Absolutely!

For the past 100 years it has been possible. But there wasn’t a pressing requirement. We also didn’t have the tools to figure out what you are good at, if you were not ‘lucky’ to fall into a career you love.

Now there are free and inexpensive scientific tool you can use to find your sweet spot in work that is both engaging and pays out well.

I recommend using MBTI and StrengthsFinder 2.0.

I created a guide on how start using MBTI and StrengthsFinder to find your sweet spot. If you’re in a service-based industry, I show you how to find work that fulfills you… and that you can get paid for. I’ll also show you how to create your own premium product or service, as well as how to market and scale it.

The post Love Your Business or Lose It appeared first on Christopher Browning Business and Confidence Coach.