Chronic Impending Disaster

news of the "WHAT THE HELL!"

2012-02-07T10:44:00.001-06:00

Greetings, all. I'm still here. Not dead yet. Just haven't been in the blogosphere much lately.

I certainly have plenty of things in my personal life I could blog about today, such as the fact that my visits with PL have gone a lot better since that last post, or that I'm continuing to see a woman I met through that dating site although at this point it feels more like a friendship and I'm scared as hell of it going anywhere, or the fact that I saw The Artist last week and it was the best movie I've seen in a long time and I hope it wins all the Oscars, or that I'm going to the stage production of To Kill a Mockingbird with Serena tomorrow, but I don't feel like writing about any of that today. Today's subject falls within the category of news stories that make you say "WHAT THE LIVING HELL!!!!"

In the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel on Sunday, there was an article titled Uncanny coincidence lets man's death go unnoticed for years. If you don't feel like reading it, here's a summary.

About five years ago, David Carter, a resident here in the Milwaukee area, told all his friends he was moving to New Mexico. Then he went to his house and shot himself. He was not found until a few weeks ago because nobody ever entered his house. His friends and family just thought he chose not to give out his address in New Mexico, and his cousin thought about hiring an investigator to track him down but never did. There wasn't a mortgage, so no bank foreclosed on the property or anything like that. The electricity was shut off because the bills were unpaid, the water was shut off when a neighbor reported a stream coming out of the house from a burst pipe, and the city cut the grass and shoveled the sidewalks and added the expense to his property taxes, which were unpaid. They assumed the house was abandoned and weren't in a hurry to foreclose on it because, well, the housing market has been rather shitty, but finally they did a few weeks ago, and that's when they entered the house and found Carter's remains.

Now, suicide is terrible and I certainly feel for Carter, but when I read the article I also felt a lot of sympathy for his cousin and friends. Everybody they interviewed said they missed him and hoped he'd come back or write or call or somehow reestablish contact. What must it be like to wait for five years for someone to crawl out of the hole of isolation they've dug, only to find that they've been dead the whole time by their own hand? It's like you aren't just mourning for their loss, but retroactively mourning for five years of hopes that went down the crapper in an instant. It must leave an emotional hole in their memories. That sucks. Suicide sucks.

The tendency I and others have when finding out about a story like this is to draw some sort of lesson or say we need to do something differently or pass an arbitrary law that won't really help but makes us feel like we're doing something, but in my opinion there is no lesson here. Shit just happens.

confession

2012-01-28T20:24:00.001-06:00

This is one of those posts where it's taking me a long time to push he "Publish" button.

They say confession is good for the soul. So here goes my confession. I hope it ends up being beneficial somehow.

On Thursday night, PL came over. The weeknight visits are always pretty much the same. We eat dinner, do her homework, and then do something fun like play a game, knit, or read some fun books. Of course, if she doesn't do the homework, we don't get to do anything fun. Seems simple enough.

So Thursday we ate and then started her homework. And she dug her heels in and refused to do it. After several hours, she had only done half of a math worksheet, and it was obvious we weren't going to get to do anything fun before X came to pick her up. She became increasingly agitated and angry.

I was disappointed. I look forward to her visiting me because I like to see the progress she's making academically, and I like to play games, knit and read with her. And neither of those were happening.

And I got angry.

I yelled. She looked up at me with wide eyes. I yelled more. The edges of her lips turned down in a frown. I yelled more. Her lips started trembling. I yelled a little bit more. Then I stopped yelling.

Her mouth opened as she issued forth a wail, and tears streamed down her face.

How else could that have ended, after all?

And I was overcome with shame and guilt, knowing that I'd gone too far.

The look on her face was terrible. And it was made unbearable by the fact that I was the cause of it.

X came and picked her up, and then I sat at my kitchen table and cried, and cried, and cried.

Now, some of you reading this might be tempted to leave a comment that says something like "That's not so bad," or "It's understandable," or "At least you didn't hit her or anything like that." Just skip it. I know that it was horrible, that it came from the desert side of my heart, and that there's no justification for it.

I spent a good amount of time on Thursday night and most of Friday morning (I didn't work until the afternoon) sorting through my feelings, first examining the event in all its nastiness, accepting it, and committing to not doing it again.

But it still feels shitty. And I'm fighting back tears as I write this, even though I'm in the middle of a frickin' busy Starbucks!

I saw PL again tonight. Usually I see her on Sundays, but tomorrow she has a special event with other disabled kids, so we moved my visit with her to tonight. We went to McDonald's and read some books and ate ice cream. She was much more cooperative with doing her homework, and I think she might have even had a little fun.

I talked to her a little about Thursday, but she doesn't seem to like processing things verbally.

At one point, she said that she wants to work at McDonald's some day. I asked why, and she said "I get the food, and the drinks, and I say 'Here you go!'" It was really cute. I hope she can have a rewarding job some day.

Okay. Confession time is over.

You know, it was rather therapeutic.

boring post

2012-01-19T12:12:00.000-06:00

This might be a boring post, but it's my life so here it goes.

My feet have been hurting like hell lately. I think it's because for a while I was wearing a pair of boots that I just thought looked cool, but they give shitty support. And at my job I'm pretty much on my feet the whole time. So now I'm wearing shoes and boots that don't look quite so awesome but are nicer to my dogs.

I guess if I'm going to be in this job for a while, which it seems will be the case given the current economy, I should think about the long-term wellness of my feet.

Okay, this is a really, really boring subject. I'll move on.

Several of my coworkers either have left recently or are leaving soon to go back to school. I don't say anything to them about this to them, but I kinda question if that's a good idea right now. Given the state of the US job market, I suspect that more education will give a person fewer employment opportunities.

I mean, one gal left to get certified to teach, which I don't think is wise given current state politics but she might be able to find a job anyway, but I wouldn't count on it. This woman in particular I question the wisdom because she's easily stressed and lets unpleasant interactions affect her mood really severely. I don't see her being successful as a teacher.

Another gal is leaving to get her masters degree in anthropology. What the fuck does she think she's going to do with an advanced degree in anthropology, other than carry more student loans around for the rest of her life?

Then there's a guy who has a masters degree in philosophy and he said he's thinking about pursuing a PhD. When I asked him why he said "I'm not sure I want to work in retail the rest of my life." I stopped myself from saying what I was thinking: "Would you rather have that PhD and be unemployed the rest of your life?" But I kinda suspect that guy is married to a sugar mama so that might be exactly what he wants.

Speaking of state politics, there's been an overwhelming number of signatures to recall Governor Scott Walker, which gives me a little hope. He's such a snake. I don't know that he'll get recalled, but I hope that the strength of this recall movement has sent a strong message.

Sorry I didn't have anything more interesting to post about. See y'all later.

my face = waterfall

2012-01-16T14:57:00.000-06:00

Okay, there's kinda a lot to update here, and I know it'll make too long of a post if I try to include everything, so I'm just going to start throwing things out and then stop when I think it's been enough and save the rest for next time if I feel like it.

First of all, the play I went to on Friday. The datiness of it was allright. I don't know. Bachelorette #1 is really sweet when she messages on the Internet, but something's kinda awkward when we meet in person. I can't put my finger on it.

That's it for that. Next topic.

Then, there's the content of the play we went to, Next to Normal. I had no idea what it was about when she suggested it, and soon found that it hit really close to home. You see, it's about mental illness. I mean, really about mental illness.

It's about a family in which the mother is diagnosed with and medicated for depressive bipolar and all the strain that causes for her family. And it deals with the different treatments she pursues, wrestling with the causes of the mood disorder, medication, the problems it causes her daughter, etc. The music was rockin'! In fact, I liked it so much I ordered the CD from another store in the company I work for today.

So, it was intense. I cried. I mean really cried. Crying like a friggin' teenage girl the first time she watches Titanic. It was kinda embarrassing. Another reason I don't know if things with Bachelorette #1 will work out, being that she's seen me break down like that.

As a footnote, I just want to say that I highly recommend Next to Normal because it's an awesome musical, and I especially recommend it to anybody affected by, or who just cares about, mental illness, as long as you're feeling stable enough to take in something thematically intense that might hit close to home. I'd feel terrible somebody went to go see it on my recommendation and then went into a suicidal tailspin. I mean, there are plenty of phases in my past when I think that probably would have happened to me.

I have lots more that I've been thinking about related to the play, but I'll save it for later.

Then there's something else that's a little more exciting.

You see, before Friday I hadn't seen any live theater in years, and I really miss it. And here in Milwaukee we have a company called the Milwaukee Rep. I hadn't gone in a while because I told myself I have nobody to go with, but after Friday I said to hell with that! I know people. And there might be a person or two that I know who might want to go with me, so I'm going to find out.

So today I have off from work, but I had to go in just to purchase something, and I saw one of my colleagues who I'll give the pseudonym Serena. And I just decided to let my balls hang out (metaphorically) and I said "Serena, do you like live theater?" And she said she hadn't been to a play since she was a kid, so I asked her if she'd like to go. I told her that the Rep shows that are either playing now or coming up I want to see are To Kill a Mockingbird and The Complete Works of Shakespeare (Abridged), and she said she'd be more interested in Mockingbird. So I'm going to look at the dates and times and talk to her about it tomorrow so that we can ask off for that night and so that she can arrange a sitter if she needs to. (She has a 3-year-old daughter.)

Anyway, I like Serena a bit. Unlike most of my coworkers, she's mature, but she's also fun to be around and talk to. (Most of my coworkers have been getting on my nerves of late, but that's another story.) She's very pretty and has beautiful eyes and hair. I kinda think she could put on a few pounds, but that's just my taste.

But I'm not approaching this with an agenda. I just want to take her to a show and get to know her better.

I think I'll warn her that, given the content of To Kill a Mockingbird, there's a good chance my face will be a damn waterfall again.

And I think I'll take a packet of tissues to be prepared.

Okay, that's about it. Later, y'all.

33

2012-01-11T19:39:00.000-06:00

Hi, all. Sorry I haven't been around for a little bit. But I'm here now. So here's an update. Three updates, actually.

First of all, something that's fun and of little consequence.

Yesterday I pulled out a CD that's somewhat of an oldie but totally a goodie, Counting Crows' This Desert Life. In my opinion, it's definitely their best album. Great songs, performed well, and well produced. And I like it because the album as a whole has a cohesive feel that I didn't think their earlier albums did, but that's a completely subjective thing so if you think their earlier ones were cohesive that's cool and I won't argue or anything.

Anyway, when they were touring to support that album, I went to see them with my sister and a few of our mutual friends from home.

One friend of ours was wearing an August and Everything After t-shirt. (Sis, if you're reading this, you know who I'm talking about, right?) I tried to tell him that it's the dorkiest thing in the world to wear a band's t-shirt when you're going to see that very band, but he insisted that it was cool and the situation wasn't helped when, after the concert, we saw one of the opening bands in the lobby and the drummer said "Nice shirt" to him.

Anyway, it was an awesome concert.

One thing that stands out in my memory is how the audience (specifically the female portion of it) reacted to Adam Duritz. It was rather interesting to me. You see, he was kinda gross. Hair was nappy. Face was scruffy. Skin was pasty. Belly was pudgy. Shirt got really sweaty. But women loved him because he writes all those sensitive songs about the women he's loved and about looking for meaning and all that. Geez.

And of course they were all crying when they played "Long November" in the encore. And of course I enjoyed it.

So then I'm listening to the CD yesterday, and in one of the songs he says something about being 33 years old, and suddenly it hit me: SHIT I'M 33!!! I'm the age he was when I saw them live, and he was an international rock star at 33 and I'm pretty much a loser.

Okay, I'll not dwell on that any longer and just say that Counting Crows CDs still sound great after all these years and move on to the second subject.

So as I've said on here, in March I'm going to become an uncle, as my sister and brother-in-law are expecting! I've told PL about this, and we saw everybody at Christmas, and PL does not seem too excited about it. She gets really quiet and wears a scowl when I talk about it with her. My perception is that she doesn't want to share the family's attention with another kid at family gatherings.

So today I saw Dr S and talked to her about it and she said that I've got to prepare her for it. So I stopped by the thrift store on the way home and picked up some baby dolls, and we're going to practice holding them and stuff like that. And we're going to buy some toys to give to it. And for the rest, I just have to not reinforce the negative with attention, because that's been the pattern with PL in the past is that if I give too much attention to her negative behaviors it just reinforces it.

So, I hope that when it comes time for her to meet her little cousin she can be excited about it. I'm going to try, anyway. PL's had a rough life, though, being in multiple homes before X and I adopted her at age 5, so her feelings might never get to the point I'd like them to be. In fact, they probably won't. But maybe she'll be at least accepting.

Now the final subject for this post is what seems to be of the greatest interest to you, my readers: misadventures in dating.

Actally, things are going pretty well. I've continued to correspond with Bachelorette #1, the psychotherapist with whom the only thing I have in common is liking musicals. Well, I figured if she's still messaging me, she must think I'm allright or something, so on Friday we're going to see Next to Normal at the Milwaukee Rep.

And last Wednesday I met for the first time with Bachelorette #4. She's a Harry Potter fan who works as a student activities director at a college in the area, and she's really outgoing and fun and I really enjoyed talking to her. Coincidentally, just before meeting me at a coffee shop, she had stopped by the library to check out a copy of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere because it's what her book group is reading and she asked me if I'd read it and I was ranted and raved about the awesomeness of Neil Gaiman, but I did stop myself from using the word "man-crush" to describe my feelings toward him.

Anyway, she messaged me today and said that she liked the book and I messaged her back and we'll probably meet up again sometime next week.

Okay. This post is way too long, but I don't feel like trimming it. And I'm at a coffee shop and it seems to be "Loud and Annoying Women's Group" night here, so I'm getting the hell out.

Later!

cred

2012-01-03T21:05:00.000-06:00

Greetings to all of you out there in the blogosphere. Hope all is well.

Things here are more or less the same.

Work is finally becoming a little less busy, which is nice. I mean, I like it when it's busy, but we have gotten a bit behind on shelving, so I hope we can catch up before the weekend.

We'll be hiring two new people soon, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope to goodness that at least one of them's a beautiful single woman. But I won't say that at work. I guess that they've had almost 100 applicants, which I think is probably an indication of the shitty state of our economy right now.

Something good at work is that I seem to be getting a little more credibility with my team leader. I made some suggestions when I first started in the section, like having a shelf dedicated to dating and relationships in the self-help section and some other things I can't remember, but she seems to be taking them more seriously now, and we'll probably do it when we have time to. It feels good to have that kind of respect. And today I suggested we make a display for Martin Luther King Jr. Day, which is in two weeks, and she gave me the green light to set it up.

Of course, some things at work continue to frustrate me, but I won't get into that because I don't really feel like being negative right now.

And I have two pending dates. One of them is with Bachelorette #1, the one with whom the only thing I have in common is that we both like showtunes, and the other is with a woman I haven't met in person yet but with whom I've messaged for a little while.

See y'all later!

2012: my predictions

2011-12-31T20:33:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year, everybody!

While most of the world around me is either drunk or on its way to getting drunk, I'm drinking tea, listening to classical music, reflecting on my life, and reading Nabokov. Because I'm that awesome.

And in four hours it'll be midnight here in the miswestern US, and I'll probably be deep in a medication-induced sleep.

So, anyway, I hope that the start of everybody's 2012 is good.

And I would like to say with a high degree of certainty that no matter how many books have been published by people who misinterpret the Mayan calendar, the world will not be ending this year. I will match any bet on that. (In part because I'm really sure, but also because if I lose, the world will be over anyway!)

Here are my predictions for a few things that will happen in the coming year:

1) My niece/nephew will be born! Yay!

2) PL will become a better knitter, and I'll start teaching her to play guitar and/or ukulele.

3) I'll go on some more dates, and most of them will go terribly.

4) Instead of reporting on things that might be of consequence, the news outlets will dedicate a lot of time to the latest celebrity acts of assholitude and idiocy.

5) Some interesting political stuff might happen. I won't even try to get at all specific on this one.

6) This blog will get trolled between three and six times.

7) The cyst on my back will continue to break open every four to eight weeks and leak a foul-smilling substance.

8) People everywhere will make resolutions to exercise regularly this year, then abandon said resolutions in, at most, two months. (And I think two months might be WAY too generous of an estimate.)

9) My mom will continue to embarassing comments on my facebook statuses.

10) Movie makers and book publishers will make a damn KILLING on all this 2012 end of the world bullshit.

11) At my work, we'll be drowning in all the 2012 end of the world bullshit that people won't want any more.

12) No grand cosmic changes will happen, and certainly not the end of the world.

Anybody else have any predictions?

striking out twice

2011-12-29T19:29:00.001-06:00

Okay. I know everybody out there is just dying to know how my date with Bachelorette #3 went last night, and tonight I don't feel like being dramatic or anything, so I'll just cut to the chase.

It didn't go well.

She was obviously really nervous, it was hard to come up with stuff to talk about, and then I made a huge mistake. She asked about my political views, and I, very stupidly, gave an honest reply.

Any of you who have read me for any length of time will probably know that politically I go pretty far to the left. Well, I wasn't very careful with how I worded things, and I did indulge in a little bit of a privacy rant, so now she probably thinks I'm some sort of commie terrorist or something.

And I'm ashamed and humiliated to admit this, but I was checking out her boobs once or twice, and I think she might have caught me.
Shit.

I really like this girl, too. She's sweet, funny, beautiful, and generally awesome.

To put it in perspective, let's look at Stanley's dating life since the divorce 2.5 years ago.

Exhibit 1: A few years ago, I got together with Carla, a woman I knew worked with sometimes as a special ed assistant, and she spilled her guts to me for an hour about her ex-boyfriend.

Exhibit 2: About a year-and-a-half ago, I got together with Laura, a woman I worked with at the Summer school proram. I thought it went fine, but she didn't reply to the voicemail or text message I left/sent her in the following week.

Exhibit 3: I met Bachelorette #1 a few weeks ago for coffee, and we still have an e-mail thread going, but just about the only thing we have in common is we like musicals and showtunes. Next thing you know, I'll be shoe shopping with her!

Exhibit 4: A little after that, I met with Bachelorette #2 for coffee. I pitched my idea for a Zombie Walk, which she wasn't too into. After that, she either deleted her account on the dating site without giving me any contact info or blocked me. Either way, it's clear she doesn't want to keep anything going with me.

Exhibit 5 is last night.

So, I've almost struck out twice over here! My love life kinda sucks.

But I guess I'll keep trying. Nothing to lose at this point.

pathetic reality show

2011-12-27T19:57:00.000-06:00

Greetings, bloggers. Hope all is well out there.

Christmas is over, and it's back to work and all that normal stuff. It's been really busy the last two days, which is good because customer service is my favorite part of my job, and because it gives me hope that my profit based bonus next quarter will be nice and big.

Anyway, two days ago I promised an update on my misadventures in Internet dating, so here it is. My chance to pretend to be the star of a really pathetic reality show or something.

I've had an ongoing message thread with the first gal with whom I got together. She's really sweet, but we don't have a whole lot in common and I feel like I'm pretty much becoming the male friend type of guy.

I should probably mention that just about the only thing that we DO have in common is that we both like showtunes. Uh, that's not a good sign, is it? You know, "That's my friend Stanley. He likes Andrew Lloyd Weber as much as I do. He's a great guy who I can spill my guts to, but being romantically involved with him? That's ridiculous!"

The second gal I got together with, who I pitched the Zombie Walk idea to, seems to have deleted her profile from the dating site or blocked me, so I guess that's over.

But that's allright, because tomorrow I'm getting together for pizza with a woman who I am INSANELY attracted to. She's really artsy, sweet, funny, beautiful, and has cool glasses and tatoos. GOD, I want this one to work out!

no Internet = AWESOME!!!

2011-12-25T20:22:00.000-06:00

Hi, all. Stanley CID here. I'm still alive.

First of all, merry Kwanakamas to everybody! I'd like to share a video that'll clear things up if there's any question about the perfectly reasonable origins of Christmas and other holiday traditions.

So I haven't been on here much lately because I got rid of my Internet service, and I have to say it's one of the best decisions I've made in a long time! Not having Internet is AWESOME!!! I mean, do you know how many things there are to do that aren't the Internet? And did you further know that most of them are more fun and interesting than the Internet? I've been so productive and doing so much reading, crafting, and cleaning, and I'm loving every minute of it!

I'll admit that there were a few days of adjustment. I was kinda sitting and staring for the first day because I didn't know what to do, but getting past that, life is much, much, much better. Now I just do Internet things every couple of days at a coffee shop or the library.

And it completely eliminates one of my fixed expenses, which is certainly nice as well. I have more money to spend on books!

So I'm at my parents' house. I was going to spend today at my grandparents' retirement home with them and some other family members, but on Thursday my dad had surgery for a hernia so my parents decided not to drive down to Milwaukee, so I came up to spend the holiday with them. It's been a lazy day, which is perfect for a holiday.

I'm gonna sign off there, but in a few days when I make it back to the blogosphere I'll post an update on my misadventures in Internet dating if I feel like it.

All I Ask of 80's Robot

2011-12-11T22:39:00.000-06:00

My post the other day was an angry rant, so today I'll try and focus on some things that are a little more pleasant.

First of all, today was good. I took PL to see the Muppets movie. She laughed really hard at a few parts, but I think on the whole I liked it a little more than she did. I especially liked the new character whose name is both catchy and descriptive: "80's Robot." Not kidding. That's his name, and that's what he is, and he's awesome!

And I read a whole bunch of the Walking Dead comics today. It's every bit as amazing as the TV series, but completely different. I'm really enjoying it.

And yesterday Bachelorette #1 messaged me, so I guess that I didn't totally scare her off. I told her something that I think is kinda funny. You see, she's really serious about singing and takes lessons and loves showtunes. Lately, I've been really into the new-ish movie version of Weber's Phantom of the Opera. As I was watching it Friday night, I spontaneously picked up my guitar and started to figure out the chords for "All I Ask Of You." I can't say I've ever played showtunes before, other than The Who's Tommy, but that doesn't really count since it was a rock album before it was adapted for stage. She hasn't messaged me back yet, but I hope she was amused.

That's all. Probably won't be on the Internet tomorrow, so I guess I'll be back to read your comments on Tuesday.

2011-12-09T19:48:00.001-06:00

I finally did it today. I did what I've been putting off for months now: I cancelled my home Internet service.

I called up the customer service at my provider and told her I wanted to cancel. She asked why, and without thinking I said "I just think my life would be better without it." She had no idea what I meant. It was completely beyond her. Then I said something about trying to control my expenses, and she seemed to understand that better, but still was kinda wierded out.

Here's the deal. Two things happened today that cemented my disillusionment with the Internet. I've long hoped, delusionally, that the Internet would aid in the decentralization of power. Many folks out there hold out the same hope. I was, and they are, all completely wrong in the hope.

First thing that happened today: Amazon.com launched an app for cell phones that allows users to scan barcodes on items, and they're encouraging customers to use this AS THEY BROWSE IN BRICK-AND-MORTAR STORES!!!!

Why am I so upset? BECAUSE THIS FUCKS ME UNTIL I BLEED!!!!

Here's the deal. I work my ass off to keep the shelves well stocked with interesting shit. I also work my ass off to help customers find shit they want to buy. So now, somebody comes into my store, with my help finds an item that I've put on the shelf, and then buys it from Amazon. I do the work, they get the sale. This is going to be another nail in the coffin of brick-and-mortar stores that sell anything Amazon sells, which is everything. Books, music, movies, electronic gadgets, software, video games, packaged food, board games, packaged food. I see a future in which retail is controlled entirely by a few companies, the biggest of which will be the monolithic Amazon.com.

Second thing: the passing of some legislation that justifies information sharing in the name of anti-terrorism. Now, government intelligence agencies can share classified information with private companies, who in turn can share information about Interne activity with said agencies. No warrants are needed, and a whole lot of information that can identify individuals is compiled by people with an increasing amount of unchecked power.

The kicker in this whole thing is this: Publically owned corporations are legally obligated to do what is most profitable. If any decision is made because it's the right thing to do but that takes away from short-term profits, the shareholders can sue and will win. It is literally illegal for a publically owned corporation to do anything to protect individual privacy, freedom, the sustaining of small businesses, or help the environment if doing so hurts profits. So as long as they're protected by "anti-terrorist" legislation, they will cooperate with the government at the epense of individual freedom and privacy. I didn't say they "can" cooperate. They will, since fighting the government's demands for information would be costly.

(This applies to a lot of other issues, as well. For instance, Starbucks is so respected because they insure their employees. What people don't realize is that they don't do it because they care or anything like that. They do it because it helps profits. As health care costs continue to rise, it will eventually be more profitable to not do so, and they will dump employee insurance in a hurry. And I'm seeing it play out in my community over how businesses are responding to the recent passage of concealed carry legislation. Publically owned corporations, such as Starbucks, have not posted signs saying they don't allow concealed firearms, because that would be bad for business. (Sorry to be picking on you so much, Starbucks, but you fucking deserve it.) The businesses that have posted signs banning firearms and weapons on their grounds are either privately owned, such as the store at which I work, or not-for-profits, such as the GoodWill thrift stores and my grandparents' retirement commuity.)

This obligation to do what's profitable at the expense of all else applies to EVERY publically owned corporation, including Apple, Microsoft, Google, AT&T, Amazon.com, Starbucks, Exxon-Mobil, Ford, Toyota, etc.

People often compare business competition to the biological principle "Survival of the fittest." But there's a flaw with that comparison. The long term net result of biological evolution is greater diversity of species because living organisms reproduce. The long term net result of this business evolution is less diversity because corporations do not reproduce. As the huge corporations knock the smaller companies out of business, it hinders the ability of new companies to come into being, so we end up with a decreasing number of companies controlling more and more of . . . everything!

And the government is going to continue to pass legislation that centralizes more power in their hands and forces the cooperation of telecommunications companies and other corporations.

Am I paranoid? Maybe. But I think it's justified.

The premise of Reinhold Niebuhr's book Moral Man and Immoral Society is that individuals are capable of being virtuous, but large groups are not. He was referring mostly to races and governments, but I think it also applies to corporations. President Obama might have some individual virtues, but the United States Government is, by necessity, evil. Steve Jobs might have been a good guy on an individual level, but Apple is, also by necessity, evil.

(I realize I'm going to get flamed over that, but I don't give a shit. If you have a lot to say about the virtuousness of the individuals or the evilness of the corporations named, do so on your own blog. Unnecessarily long and/or nasty comments will be deleted at my discretion.)

So, I've taken the first step today to get away from the Internet a little bit. I'm only going to be checking my e-mail and blogging and stuff every couple of days at the library or a coffee shop or something. And I'm not going to join any new sites that require any kind of membership.

Some day, I might go totally Internet-free. I don't know how practical that is, like if I want to get another job some day.

Bachelorette #2, transcient dickhead

2011-12-07T20:08:00.003-06:00

This is going to be a two-part post. The first will be about what I'm sure is of more interest to most of you, the gettogether I had last night. The second will be a rant about work. I'm conveniently putting it second so that if you don't care about it so much, you can stop reading after the first part.

So last night I met at a coffee shop with Bachelorette #2. She's really cute, and funny, and sweet, and we have a lot in common. Mostly, we're both progressive politically, and we like a lot of the same music. In fact, we figured out that we were probably at a lot of the same punk concerts at the clubs in Green Bay in the late 90's. Very funny coincidence.

I pitched to her an idea I've had. You see, in some communities there are events called Zombie Walks, where a bunch of folks will dress up in tattered clothes and put on zombie makeup and stagger down the street. And in some communities, Zombie Walks have become political events. So, I suggested a Recall Walker Zombie Walk. She liked the idea, but pointed out the very practical matter that it's a bit cold out right now, and zombies generally don't wear warm clothes because they don't feel cold, so it would be hard to pull off a decent Zombie Walk right now.

Anyway, she's really cool and I totally want to hang out with her again. It might just be a friendship thing, but that's cool.

Now, on to the matter of work. I realize that there's something that I like about my job. It's the transience of the vast majority of people I see when I'm at work. Of course, I'm referring to the customers.

Today I was at the register, and this guy comes up who I've interacted with before, and he's always been an insufferable dickhead.

So today he comes up to the register with a stack of DVD's and says he wants to check the condition on them. So I get the discs, which we have sleeved in drawers behind the counter, and give them to him to look over. There's this other guy standing behind him with a book he's ready to purchase, so I said to the dickhead "Do you mind if I check this fellow out while you look over the discs?" and he gives a quarter-inch nod which I was content to take as meaning "Go ahead, you fucking loser!"

So then I ring the second guy up, then turn to the first guy. As I'm scanning the barcodes on his DVD's he says "You shouldn't have done that. I was here first." I ignored him. Then he looks right at my face, but I refused to make eye contact, and he says "Don't do that again."

To be honest, I was cracking up on the inside! I mean, who does this fuck-face think he is that he can talk to anybody like that? Total douche-turd!

Well, I managed not to laugh, but I couldn't help the corners of my mouth from turning up a little bit in a hint of a grin.

As I'm counting his change he said to me "Did you hear me?"

I replied "Have a great night sir." Then he stormed out.

The store manager was right behind me, and she complimented the way I handled it, which made me feel like a total awesome badass!!

So, anyway, that brings me to what I love about my job. The world is totally full of dickheads, but I don't have to tolerate them as much in my current job as I did in the other careers I almost pursued.

I almost became a pastor, and the thing is there are dickheads all over the place attending every church. And as a pastor, I would have had to pucker up and kiss a whole lot of ass whenever the dickheads perform any act of dickheadedness.

Then I almost became a teacher. Now you're probably thinking I'm going to say that students can be dickheads, but that's not where I'm going. I can understand and sympathise with teenage dickheads. I mean, they got all the social problems and hormones and all the pressure to get good grades. It's completely understandable.

No, the dickheads I had more trouble tolerating as an educator were the parents. And as a teacher, I would have to kiss whole lot of ass there as well, or else they go to the principal or run for school board and shit.

But the dickhead today, I could just ignore and think "Fuck you! Don't let to door hit'cha in the ass!" And that's allright. If we lose him as a customer, no biggie. In fact, it's probably better if we do, since he brings a lot of negative energy into the store.

So I'm thankful for that aspect of my job. Sure I have plenty of problems with my supervisors and some of my peers, but that's tolerable. Insufferable dickheads be damned!

2011-12-05T11:23:00.000-06:00

Hi, all.

Got together for coffee last night with Bechelorette #1. It was allright. She's really sweet and funny and beautiful, but we don't have a whole lot of interests in common. I got the feeling by the end that I was in the Friend Zone at best.

Maybe I'm being too picky.

I'll be meeting Bachelorette #2 tomorrow night. I already know that we have more in common, so I guess it'll be a matter of chemistry and stuff.

2011-12-01T21:01:00.000-06:00

Hi, everybody.

I just wanted to give a little update about a few things.

First of all, PL was over tonight for a few hours, and we played ukuleles for the first time. I like to think that someday we could be a touring father-daughter dueling ukuleles act. Not gonna happen, but it's fun to imagine.

Second of all, I was chatting with a woman on the dating site, and even though my whole body was going numb as I typed it, I asked her to get a cup of coffee on Sunday night, and she said yes! Oh my god, I don't know what the hell I'm doing here! I mean, the last two times I got together with a woman for what I thought would be a date didn't go so well, but those of you who have been following me for a while know about that, and those of you who haven't probably don't care for all the details, so whatever.

In all seriousness, though, I'm a little nervous because she's a psychotherapist. When and how do I tell her that I'm a psych patient? Could be awkward. Really, really awkward. I really want to resist the temptation to make her into a pseudo-therapist, but so far I've managed not to do that with my friends who have pursued careers as psychologists and therapists, so I'll just have to watch my thoughts and behaviour. And if it looks like it's going down an unhealthy road, there aren't any strings at this point (I mean, it's just one cup of coffee!), and I'll have learned that I should try and date one of the many women out there who aren't professional psychotherapists.

chatting causes Stanley's brain to explode

2011-11-28T20:34:00.000-06:00

Apparently, my listening to Phantom yesterday became contagious. As I was coming home from work, I heard one of my neighbors playing it real loud. Didn't realize that was the type of thing that went viral.

A few messages on the dating site today, and then there's this whole chat thing. Have you guys ever chatted? I'd only done it a few times before today, but when I went on the site to check my messages today two chat boxes popped up from women with whom I have message threads going. God, that shit is confusing! I mean, trying to interact in two conversations simultaneously about very different subjects with two women who I'm attracted to and therefore trying not to sound (or, more accurately, type) like a total doofus is freakin' hard! After about 15 minutes my brain felt like it was going to explode, so I made up some bullshit about having to go do my laundry and said have a great night it was great chatting with you and all that. Ugh!

That's all. Later, fellow bloggers.

phantom meds

2011-11-27T15:56:00.000-06:00

Greetings, bloggers.

Black Friday is over, and I'm thankful. It was pretty busy at work, but that's good because I need money.

I'm now having the laziest of Sundays. PL was over for a few hours this morning, and since then I've done a whole lot of nothing. I took a nap, went to a thrift store, and now I'm listening to the original cast recording of Phantom of the Opera. That's right, I like Phantom. I'm not big into showtunes, but something about Phantom transcends the genre, which mostly consists of sentimental crap. (Rogers and Hammerstein, I'm looking your way!)

So, anyway, as you all know if you've read this blog for any amount of time, I tend to find interesting things at the bookstore at which I work, and yesterday I came across a book about going off of psych meds. I didn't pick it up, but last night I looked for reviews of it, and mostly people said that the guy's goal in publishing the book is to sell vitamin supplements through his web site, so I won't be picking up that particular book. However, it made me ralize that I would like to be off my psych meds. I'm not foolish enough to try to quit cold turkey or anything, but I think next time I see Dr M I'll talk about reducing some of my dosages, since these meds and appointments are expensive.

I also realize that there are some things I should start doing to address the symptoms currently being treated by the meds. So I'm going to try to go for regular walks for exercise, structure my time carefully, and drink less caffiene. But I'm not going to make any med changes without the supervision of a healthcare professional.

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope my fellow Americans are stuffed to the point of bursting!

2011-11-24T20:50:00.002-06:00

Hi, fellow bloggers and readers. It's Thanksgiving here in the U.S. I don't think we've exported this holiday the way we have some of the others, but I hope everybody is having a great day, whether it be Thanksgiving or just another day, wherever you are.

I had a nice day. Took PL down to my grandparents' retirement community where we spent the afternoon relaxing with my grandparents, parents, uncle, and sister (with the baby in her tummy) and brother-in-law. Then we went to the dining hall and had a delicious dinner. Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, squash, dessert. Great stuff. And we didn't have to cook or do the dishes, which was so totally awesome!

So, here's a list of things I'm thankful for. This isn't an exhaustive list, but just whatever pops into my mind right now.

-my wonderful daughter PL, and her contageous laugh

-parks, be they National, State or municipal

-composition notebooks to write all my silly thoughts before I fall asleep

-silent movies

-comfortable boots

-hoodies

-wool yarn and bamboo needles

-laughter. (I'd lost that ability for a few years there, but it's back now.)

-my celebrity crushes (Amanda Palmer, Marlee Matlin, Helena Bonham Carter, and the pointy-eared Liv Tyler from LOTR. DAMN SHE WAS HOT!!!)

-69 Love Songs by The Magnetic Fields and Muse Sick in our Mess Age by Public Enemy

-laundry machines

-the word "awesome"

-zombie comics

-the poetry of Pablo Neruda

-my awesome shaggy hair and ability to grow a kickass beard or mutton chops!

-having a job I enjoy and at wich I get a splendid discount

-the ability to imagine Scott Walker being in a fatal car accident, plane crash, or crushed by the roof of the State Capital building caving in on him

That's about it. If you feel like it, post a comment saying a thing or two you're thankful for.

I am NOT thankful for Black Friday. I don't have to go in to work until tomorrow afternoon, so hopefully the rush will be over, but all the same I'm not looking foreward to it. But I do work in the for-profit sector now, so indirectly I depend on it. Oh, well.

2011-11-21T20:49:00.000-06:00

Hi, all.

Just wanted to say three exciting things. The first two are musical in nature, and the third one is about Internet dating.

Here's a little background. I started playing guitar in high school, and in college picked up mandolin also. I played mandolin in a Christian band. (Don't ask.) Then, I kinda stopped, so I gave away my instruments to people who might use them about five years ago.

So today, I got two ukuleles. A music teacher who wants to upgrade to a nicer one put them up on CraigsList. I was originally going to just get one, but I thought it would be fun for PL and me to have some sort of uke duet going, so I bought both of them. I started playing one of them, and I haven't played any stringed instruments (or any other instruments for that matter) in years, so the callouses that protected my fingertips are long gone, and it hurts like hell. But it's fun to be struming again, and the uke is such a happy and fun instrument. I'm loving it so far, even though chord changes take a few seconds.

Second piece of musical news is that my mom told me that she and my dad are going to get me an acoustic guitar for Christmas, so naturally I'm really excited! I can't wait to drive my neighbors up the wall with my all night jam sessions I'll be having by myself. And maybe I'll find a woman who'll listen and overlook the fact that my "singing" voice sounds like somebody genetically spliced the voices of Neil Young, Billy Corgan and an angry mule.

Third thing is that I got three messages on the dating site today. I'm thinking that it's probably because at the end of my profile I said that I might be persuaded to knit a pair of socks or mittens, but oh well.

dating site . . . again

2011-11-19T20:52:00.000-06:00

Hi, all.

I feel like this blog is like the old guy in Monty Python and the Holy Grail who keeps saying "I'm not dead yet!" Oh, well. Point is, I'm still here, and I'm choosing to blog tonight in spite of the fact that I only have the same old shit to write about.

Birthday is over, and I'm glad. Had a small party with my family, but not much else.

I've made the probable mistake of joining a dating web site again. It's stupid and they've never proven helpful in the past, but I'm kinda lonely. I don't want somebody to like fix me or complete me or any of that needy bullshit that Holywood crams down our throats. I just want to, you know, hang out with somebody and have fun and be romantic but in the real world way, not the dramatic bullshit way.

I had one really cute woman message me today. So that's good.

I'm going to express a little frustration about this dating thing now. Why the fuck is it that so many women say in thir profiles they don't want someone who's going to "play games." This "playing games" thing is a total epidimic that's infected the profiles of about 70% of female users. Some dickhead makes a terrible pop song a few decades ago that was called something like "Quit Playing Games With My Heart," and now every woman with any baggage at all, I'm talking anywhere from an inconspicuous clutch to the entire set of matched luggage, puts on her profile that she "doesn't want a man who's going to play games." Shit!

Here's the thing. That phrase indicates some expectation that the woman thinks will be understood without her articulating it clearly. Then, when the man doesn't meet that expectation, she accuses him of playing games. So I've ruled out any and all women who say anything about playing games at all. NONE!!! I even say on my profile NOT to message me if your profile has the playing games thing anywhere in it. And if anybody reading this is tempted to explain to me what it might mean, know that I really don't care. I mean, if it means something that might actually be helpful, why don't they just say that instead of this cryptic and vague "playing games" thing. (I can't help but think the answer to that question is probably that they're too lazy to put into word what their desires and expectations are, in spite of the fact that it's obviously very important to them.) The way I see it, trying to figure out what a woman means by the phrase "playing games" is a game in itself, and I'm not going to play that game, so by ruling out all those women I'm really doing exactly what they're asking. Does that logic make sense?

Anyway, I need a social life. I'm pretty isolated, and it sucks.

a boycott I fully support!

2011-11-06T20:43:00.000-06:00

Hi, all. Stanley here. Not dead yet. Just haven't been in the blogosphere for a few weeks.

Not much new is happening in my personal life. I mean, sure there are things I could write about, but nothing really huge. I've just been a little depressed because my birthday is tomorrow. I always get depressed for the couple of weeks that precede my birthday. I hate my birthday. It's so depressing to think of all the shit I haven't accomplished in the last year, I hate it. Therefore, I'm going to ignore everything going on in my personal life and blog about politics.

Let me say at the outset here that I realize that I'm dealing with some controversial issues here, and if I offend anybody, I don't really care.

So the Republican party has pretty much total control of the state of Wisconsin now, and they've been passing ultra-right-wing bills like they’re going out of style. The more benign of them make me embarrassed to live in this state, and the more radical ones have me scared for my life and the future of our society. Certainly there is a shitload of bills that would be significant enough to be addressed, but I'm going to talk about just one: concealed carry.

As of last week, it is legal for folks in this fine state to carry a concealed gun, Taser or knife if they have a permit to do so. To get one, a citizen has to not be an ex-con, pay a paltry fee, and take a few hours of classes.

The store for which I work has already put up a sign on the front door that says something like "No firearms on premicis" or something like that. So today, I was paging through the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, our local paper, when I saw a letter to the editor from Gene Selke of Lake Mills saying that he will avoid patronizing businesses that don't allow concealed weapons.

Here's the thing. Right now, if the store for which I work were to get robbed, it would go something like this. Robber approaches cash register brandishing gun. Cashier puts up hands. Robber demands money. Cashier empties cash drawyer. Robber leaves. The store is out of a couple hundred bucks. Police get the security recording and then do the job of catching the robber, who will then be convicted. Hopefully, nobody's been shot.

Now, here's what could happen with concealed carriers around. Robber approaches cash register brandishing gun. Right-wing psychotic customer with concealed gun thinks "Hey, this is my chance to prove that we NRA members aren't a bunch of nutjobs and that the concealed carry bill is good for Wisconisn!" Right-winger pulls out gun.

This has now gone from an armed robbery to an armed confrontation. It would probably last longer than the first scenario would, and it seems to me that the likelihood that somebody will end up shot (including the innocent bystanders not brandishing guns) has increased immeasurably.

I don't know about anybody else, but if I were at a store, either as an employee or customer, and an armed robbery were to take place, I would want to get that person the hell out of there ASAP and minimize the chance that someone might be shot. I would not want someone with more conviction than sense, little training in using a weapon, and no training diffusing such a dangerous situation or negotiating with an armed robber, to play the hero.

And so, to Gene Selke and any other concealed carriers who are thinking about boycotting businesses that don't allow weapons, I would like to say the following: PLEASE DO SO! Get out of my store, and don't let the door hit'cha on the ass as you leave; It might bump your weapon and cause it to send a bullet through one of your buttcheeks. I'd hate to see that and totally wouldn't feel any satisfaction at all. (*cough cough SARCASM cough cough*)

don't do this when you go shopping please

2011-10-19T20:28:00.002-05:00

Here's the thing about working in retail: it's usually pretty much the same from day to day. I mean sure there are sale days and busy weekends and so forth, but on the whole, things are pretty predictable. I go to work. I ring people up at the register for a few hours. I shelve for a few hours. I work at the buy counter explaining to people why I can't offer more for their stuff for a few hours. And at some point I spend an hour on break in the cushy blue chair in the break area eating ramen noodles, drinking coffee and knitting.

Then sometimes things that are a little out of the ordinary happen, like a customer asking for something really unusual, someone who's really needy, somebody caught shoplifting, or the time a woman was talking really loudly on her cell phone about how the night before she got pulled over for speeding and then into some deep shit because the cop noticed a bag of weed on the back seat.

And then there are days like today, that go beyond the realm of "out of the ordinary" and into the realm of "WHATTHEHELLOHMYGODTHISISTOTALLYFUCKEDUP!"

Here's the story:

I was shelving in the religion aisle. There was an old guy asking me about some of the books. Nothing unusual there.

Then this other guy walks into the aisle talking on his cell phone and starts to look at the Bibles. The guy's kinda panting. He was a bit overweight, so at first I thought he was maybe a little winded from running in from his car because it was bitterly cold outside. But then I notice that he's not stopping. And he's saying shit I've blocked out of my memory. And I hear the person on the other line making some sort of squeeking vocalization.

That's right: this man was having phone sex.

I was, to make a bit of an understatement, really uncomfortable. So I got the store manager. She caught up with the guy at the register, and he was still doing the same thing.

The most fucked up part of this whole thing was that he demonstrated an amazing capacity for multi-tasking. He browsed, selected books, and paid all while continuing the phone sex. And he was completely not embarrassed by it. He even responded when the store manager asked if he needed help as if nothing unusual was going on.

It was really weird. I felt like I wanted to take a shower afterward.

The only explanation the other employees and I could come up with is that he was a sex line operator, and so for him it was just a day at the office. I mean, why else would he do that? And he wasn't touching himself or anything.

Don't get me wrong here. If it's your job to help people get off over the phone, that's fine. Just don't do your work in public!

Needless to say, that guy's ass is going to get kicked the hell out of the store if he ever does that again.

quick post - t-shirt ideas?

2011-10-12T21:26:00.000-05:00

Hi, all.

This is just going to be a quick post to ask a question. It requires a little explanation first.

I got a bunch of screenprinting stuff through Craigslist a few days ago, and I'm preparing to try it out on a couple of ideas. I'd like to try selling my hand-printed t-shirts on Etsy.

So here's the question: What do you think I should put on t-shirts? I'll welcome any ideas. Just want to know what awesome people might like, and you folks who read this blog are awesome, so I'm asking you.

It's October, time for some scary memories. (Fun ones. Not like baggage, and crap. At least not this post.)

2011-10-09T20:03:00.000-05:00

Well, it's mid-October. Halloween is coming around the bend. It's definitely one of my favorite holidays. I mean, although it has its origin in the Celtic Samain holiday and all that, it's become one of the few holidays that, in its modern American manifestation, is nothing but pure fun! Costumes, haunted houses, scary movies, and, of course, LOTS OF CANDY!!! What's not to love?! (Unless you're one of those nutjob Christians, in which case you'd be well advised to navigate away from this blog and never come back.)

So I'm going to share two of my favorite memories involving scary shit. Both are from when I was in college.

The first involves a scary movie. I lived in a house with five other guys, and one night about this time of year we had a shitload of friends over to watch The Shining. And I'd never seen it before, so of course it was awesome! I mean, that is some fucked-up shit! With the axe and the blood and the psychoticness and everything! Kubric knew what he was doing, no doubt. But that wasn't the best part.

I was sitting on a fouton next to a girl named Jess who I thought was hot, and she scared really, really easily. So I found that any time I put my hand on her forearm she'd jump like three feet in the air, and then yell "STANLEY, THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!" DAMN, that was fun!

The other memory happened I think the next year, but I'm not sure. A bunch of friends and I went to one of those corn maze things. If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's what that one was like: There are trails mowed through a corn field, and you have to make your way through it as your are chased by people in various monster costumes, some of whom have actual running chainsaws. It's freakin' awesome!

And this one was awesome because there was a cute friend of mine named Megan with us. She and I were the only two who weren't part of a couple, so she clung to my arm like her life depended on it when things got really scary. Again, DAMN, that was fun!

Now, most of my recent Halloween memories involve taking PL trick-or-treating. Definitely a good time, but not quite the same.

So now it's time for you, my dear fellow bloggers. What is/are one/some of your best memories involving scary shit. Tell a story in a comment or on your own blog. I'm looking forward to some reading that'll help me get in the mood for this time of year!

a rant inspired by the death of Steve Jobs

2011-10-05T23:02:00.001-05:00

Okay, so I haven't posted in a little while, so here I go.

Let me say first of all that this post is going to be a very angry rant about an issue that's been bottled up in me for a while, so stop now if you don't care to read that sort of thing.

Steve Jobs is dead. Boo-hoo.

No, seriously. My rant isn't about Steve himself. He seemed like a nice guy in interviews, and he's awesome for coming from a humble background and becoming wildly rich by revolutionizing technology and making innovations, bla bla bla. Thanks for giving us the best mp3 players available and all kinds of other electricity-using shit, Mr. Jobs. (Because I'm sure you're in nerd Heaven googling yourself right now.)

However, Jobs has left behind a rather unfortunate legacy. It's a totally new kind of asshole: one that combines nerdiness and douchebaggery in one person. I'll call them nouchebags.

Yes, I'm talking about a certain class of Mac users. Nowhere else can one see a group of people who have bigger egos for a stupider, more losery reason. I mean, the sense of superiority over PC users gives these guys a serious hard-on, and then they go jerk off looking through inch-thick glasses at their own reflection in the iMac monitor.

Yes, I said that. It's in writing now, and I don't give a shit who I offend.

Mac-using dickwads actually make videos for YouTube about how they wipe their asses with PC motherboards. That's right: they produce and put out free advertising for this huge corporation that definitely does not need it.

And I've seen web sites that talk about having "computer interventions" where you try to convince your family or friends to get a Mac next time they're replacing their computer. If any of my "friends" or "family" actually did such a thing, I'd shove their own iPhone up their ass before they could tell me anything about the number of bugs the latest version of Windows had when it was released.

Now some of you might be planning on leaving a comment that says something like "But Macs are better for the following 1,000,000 reasons . . ." Let me cut you off before you even start by pointing out that this post is not about the computers themselves. It's about YOU, nouchebag! If the distinction being drawn there is too subtle for you, I strongly suggest you see a mental health professional about your identity issues.

I don't give a shit about all that computer bullshit. I don't get the best tech gadgets. That would seriously cut into the money I budget for IMPORTANT things like yarn and other knitting supplies, second-hand t-shirts, and VHS horror movies. I have my priorities!

Sorry if this was a little harsh.

On another, but somewhat related, note: I decided for sure yesterday that after my current billing cycle I'm cancelling my home Internet service. I originally got it because I needed it for school, and then I used it a whole lot during my job search. But now I'm not in school and I'm not looking for a job, so when I look at it objectively I have to admit that aside from e-mail, most of what I use it for can be classified as entertainment. (Facebook, YouTube, blgging, etc.) Before last August, I used the wi-fi connection at the public library or a coffee shop, and I can do that again.

Actually, it would probably be good for me to have a reason to get out of the Disaster Zone more often. And I could also take along my current knitting project and impliment my new plan to meet women after I finish checking my e-mail, Facebooking, and watching the latest episode of Next Time on Lonnie.