Chronicles of a Lifetime Dieter

I'm failing

2016-11-16T01:46:00.003-07:00

I'm failing at just being a human right now. My major depressive disorder, ptsd and anxiety has been controlling me for months. I can't function. I've not only thought about ending my life. I've considered and discussed HOW.

Who am I?

Trying to keep this thing more updated

2015-07-23T19:40:00.002-06:00

I KNOW I am failing at keeping this up to date but I want to at least give it a good honest effort!

Another month down in Toronto... project is in crunch time. We are expecting a "go live" for Aug 10... I can't see it happening. Systems integration is still just not there. 3 weeks to figure that out.... not to mention training.

Anyway, on to my weight. While I've been in TO I've gained a few pounds and I'm totally not happy about it. I know that is from (very) long hours, eating bad/not at all and little to no movement.

I'm making strides to change at least some of the things I can.

I signed up for boot camp every Saturday morning. That is NOT enough. I'm trying to get myself out and walking several times a week at least so I can burn calories.

In addition I need to get back to basics. Too many late night fatty/high calorie foods are working their way into my diet when they shouldn't be so I'm cutting back on eating late, eating out and eating crap :) I never feel good when I have carbs so this SHOULD be an easier transition for me.

Protein first!!

Onward and downward!

Ok another holy moly.. bigger than the last!

2015-06-01T19:46:00.000-06:00

It's been TWO YEARS since I last posted!!!

What is new?

Well I've been living temporarily in Toronto for a few months now while my loving husband holds down the fort in Vancouver.

Last year, we welcomed my step son, his girlfriend and my mother in law to our home. Unfortunately, my MIL passed in August of 2014 at 80 years and we still miss her distinctive laugh throughout the house.

My stepson and his gf have enjoyed a number of latitudes that my husband and I continually butt heads on and as of June of this year, they will be moving on and moving out together to Alberta.

I've been living 100% in Toronto since late February as a result of a secondment I was chosen for out of many across the country. Some days, Im completely unclear why I got the job but I presevere regardless and try to feel confident in what I am trying to bring to the overall project regardless the ambition. Thankfully my company puts me up in an (albeit small) apartment here while in TO and flies my hubby to see me once a month. It is definitely strange living single-ish yet not. I miss my home and hubby and puppy a lot.

I maintain my weight loss easily around the upper 140's which I prefer although I do see more need in exercise as I get further out from my surgery as my body is weak and undefined. I still find sugar is not an issue for me and I still do not use any carbonation 4 years in. When I eat too fast/too much which RARELY happens, I still feel the unfortunate side effects of that.

I've still been wanting to do the surgery although I feel less driven to do it in recent years. I still think it is something that I want, but the pure NEED to do it is much lesser. I am happier within my skin than I have ever been. I want to spend my money and life on experiences more than things, and I put this surgery within the "things" category.

There have been a number of life events that have shaped this decision for me but nonetheless, I realize that I am but a shell of my experiences and I want to live all of them regardless of the package.

Be blessed
Cheryl

Wowee its been months!

2013-06-05T22:05:00.001-06:00

So things haven't changed a ton since I last posted other than I'm more aware of how much I'm drinking and I'm doing alot better with that. I'm replacing alot more wine with water these days :)

I guess the true test that things are going well and uneventful is that I didn't even post when I hit my 2 year anniversary! I am still maintaining, still dreaming of body reconstruction, and lastly still critical of my body.

This surgery will not change your perception of your body no matter how much you think it will. Sure, you might not see the same number on the scale as you did months/years post-WLS but you WILL still see the same thing in the mirror. Make no mistake about that. You will go from seeing fat, to seeing the skin left over from your fat. It affects your body image. It affects your size in clothing. It affects what you *think* you can do because you feel as big as you did pre-op.

I really want any pre/newly post/post WLS patients to read over and over that paragraph above. You may think "it won't happen to me!" I guarantee, it will. Maybe not in the first year when you only have wins but outside that... when you stop losing and move to maintenance... be aware this WILL happen at some point! I didn't think so myself, but it did as did many others.

Over 2 years out from my sleeve... I still do not drink any carbonation and I still try to keep protein as my first choice. I don't always make the best choices but I do enough of the time to continue to maintain my weight loss.

Alcohol

2013-02-17T01:53:00.000-07:00

So ... things from 2012 have not resolved. I'm a teensy bit embarrassed by what I'm doing and allowing but, not enough to make any changes because frankly we're both enabling each other and understand that its what we need right now to cope...

For Hubby: smoking.
For Me: wine.

Hubby smokes ALOT. I have wine ALOT. We both hate each other's addictions but can't stop each other from doing what we're addicted to. :(

I have 2-5 glasses a night depending on the night. I like the taste so much that suddenly I get to the point where I realize that I've had too much.

The last couple of weeks I've had enough (likely too much) and found myself wondering what happened the night before. I've been having a few conversations lately where I do not remember what I said or what happened. Unfortunately my dumbass hubby chooses to make fun of me when I don't remember instead of talking to me honestly or with concern. Turns out we've had alot of very good conversations that I do not remember at all... literally. Apparently last night, we talked about not only an automatic reload of my starbucks account but also having my plastics early Nov. I remember none of it.

It makes me a little scared to be honest. That I am THAT affected by the few glasses of wine that I remember nothing scares me... My mom DIED at 39 as an alcoholic (I'm 36)... that behaviour scares me. Have I graduated to blacking out when I drink?

*cry*

Before and after WLS

2013-01-27T21:09:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to post a piccie :)

Before taken on surgery day April 27, 2011
After(current) taken at my Christmas party Dec 15, 2012

2 months no posts! Wow, well guess what that means blog-world?

2013-01-05T20:02:00.001-07:00

NOTHING is happening! That, in my case is a good thing I guess! I'm still blissfully happy I made my decision to go ahead with my surgery and coming up to a year in maintenance now. I hover between 135-138 (even when Aunt Flo is visiting!) and I'm perfectly happy here. I wear a size small-med shirts and size 4-6 pants.

Well one thing I guess has happened.... I decided finally today that I'm waiting until early 2014 to get my PS now. *sigh*

This year has too many things happening and I need to take more time to save for this and get my head in the right place to have a good solid recovery and be able to take the time off I will need from work in my position (management). I'm reading constantly online and learning as much as I possibly can. In the coming months I'm going to start a notepad of all the things I want to make sure I know or need to know based on the experiences of the group here so that I can be as prepared as I possibly can be.

I'm bummed though. I was really thinking I'd be among the Plastics veterans by this summer but its just not in the cards for me this year and that's ok but I'm disappointed anyway. Recovery worries me alot especially after reading the recent problems some have been having on one of the boards I frequent. Although I take alot of that with a grain of salt as I know everyone is going to have a different experience anyway. I know my VSG was pretty much a breeze (except for the allergic reaction to the bandages/tape) and I was back at work 6 days post op... others needed a month or more to feel ok to go back.

Living on the coast in BC has been wonderful. It's lovely here and so different from living on the Prairies. Although, it's very weird to see so much green in the middle of winter where I'm used to seeing feet of snow and blisteringly cold temperatures. It does rain, yes... but not nearly as depressing as they've made it out to be. The sun peeks through every few days for a few hours, it rains on and off, sometimes hard, sometimes not, sometimes none. I wear a light fall waterproof coat, not a woollen cap, gloves boots, scarf, massive winter coat. I don't have to breathe into my scarf to breath warm air anymore. My asthmatic lungs thank me for this move. :)

Nowadays I'm sure noone even reads my blog since I've not updated in so long but those that remember and peek in .... HI! Thanks for coming by! I'll try to do a better job of posting at least monthly :)

Why no liquids within an hr of eating?

2012-11-04T22:49:00.001-07:00

Think of your stomach like the drain in your sink.
If you drink water, it goes through fast and quick.
If you eat food it sits (which is what makes you feel full) until it digests... slowly.
If you drink WHILE (or while there is/or shortly thereafter WILL be) you eat, it flushes the food that is making you feel full through your system quickly so you don't feel satiety as long.
This does 2 things... it empties your stomach making that feeling of fullness not last as long AND it pushes the food through your entire system too fast which means you don't get the nutrients you need from the food you just ate.

And, if you don't believe ME... watch it with him!

I think everyone. I mean EVERYONE... pre/non/post sleeve should really adopt this practise of not eating while/before/during eating. It helps us not eat as much... which of course is what food establishments WANT us to do!

A dark truth about diet soda

2012-10-14T00:27:00.000-06:00

I found this online yesterday ... It's specifically about diet sodas but we all know full sugar is terrible for us so...

Taken from Lumosity.com

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Diet Sodas: Changing Your Brain And Your Waistline- from a study out of the University of California San Diego

Diet sodas may not be helping you lose weight—in fact, these and other artificially sweetened foods may sabotage your diet by confusing and rewiring your brain’s reward centers. This study from the journal Physiology & Behavior is yet another example of how lifestyle choices can alter your brain—negatively or positively.

Scanning diet soda drinkers' brains
The University of San Diego study followed 24 young adults: half the group drank at least one serving of diet soda every day, while the other half avoided the artificially sweetened drinks. These adults were then hooked up to brain scanning equipment while scientists fed them water alternately flavored by natural and artificial sweeteners—then the researchers sat back and watched what unfolded in the brain.

The results, according to University of California San Diego researchers Green and Murphy, were pronounced: [Diet soda drinkers] who consumed a greater number of diet sodas had reduced caudate head activation. These findings may provide some insight into the link between diet soda consumption and obesity.”

Artificial sweeteners confuse reward
A little bit of background: the caudate head is a part of the brain involved in signaling reward and controlling food intake—and its decreased activity in the brains of diet soda drinkers has substantial implications.
Researchers posit that consumption of diet soda had confused the reward loops normally processed by the caudate head: because sweetness was no longer a reliable indicator of incoming calories, the brain had trained itself to respond less in the face of sweet flavors. Unreliable sweet tastes threw off normal predictions about calories and energy in the changed brains of diet soda drinkers—making it more likely that these people would consume additional calories later in the day.

Small choices can affect your brain
This newest study is pretty preliminary; it’s difficult to say how drastically diet sodas can affect bigger questions of lifestyle and health based on such short-term brain activation patterns. Still, this recent investigation provides an interesting reflection on how choices and actions made in everyday life can powerfully influence the way your brain is wired—in other words, the concept of neuroplasticity.
We can’t always foresee the unintended negative responses our brain makes—who would have thought diet coke might do quite the opposite of what its name suggests?—but there are positive ways to harness your brain’s ability to change.
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Interesting!

What's your true body size?

2012-10-11T22:53:00.001-06:00

This site showed me that while I always thought I was hourglass... turns out I'm triangle!!
http://shine.yahoo.com/fashion/what-size-are-you-really-the-truth-behind-vanity-sizing-2532831.html
(which was provided by Munchkin at gastricsleeve.com)

gnocchi = the devil

2012-10-10T20:02:00.000-06:00

I am in freaking LOVE with gnocchi. Like... holy shit.

I tried it for the first time after we moved here to Vancouver. I'm so glad I didn't know about it pre-sleeve because oh my hell its so yummy. My fav is cooked with a cream sauce including pees, ham, mushrooms.... mmmmmmmmmm so freaking yummy.

[url]http://www.foodnetwork.ca/recipes/Pasta/recipe.html?dishid=510[/url]

Dr Sauceda quote info

2012-09-18T22:29:00.001-06:00

I got another quote for the body work I want to get done. This doctor recommends a lower body lift and he would also do some augmentation on my butt to give me back some of the roundness I lost with my weight. My bum is pretty flat now so that would be nice. This surgeon also does the correction of the mons area to ensure its nice and smooth.

His email...

I have seen your pictures , and in my opinion we can do a lower body lift and a breast lift plus augmentation.

The tattoo is not at risk. We can do some augmentation on your butt, this is not like having implants, but we can use some of the tissue we'll take off to make some improvement in that area.

The price for your procedures (lower body lift and breast lift plus augmentation) is : XXXX (omitted because everyone is different but for reference is near half of the other local surgeon)

This is all inclusive, this means the surgery, clinic fees, anesthesiologist and surgeon fees, compression garments ,medication, hotel stay for 12 days, local transportation, and I'll refund your airfare up to $600 usd. If you have more questions please let me know.
We use periareolar , lolly pop incision and inverted T, which one is going to be the one on your case?
This depends on my evaluation when I see you and touch your skin in person.
Probably in your case will be the lolly pop incision, but I can change my mind (this is only to achieve the best result possible).
The breast size , or implant size , we'll(me and you) are going to decide this.
If the lipo is a small one, I can do it.
Now you need to realize that the weight loss patient have had fat loss, and your skin hanged after this. So, I can not do a very big lipo, because the skin can hang one more time.
If you do a desk job, probably 4 weeks off work will be enough.

HALF the price. But it means I will have to do medical tourism again... and this time be gone for 12 days. The benefit to this surgeon is that he doesn't put you under a general anesthetic... he does sedation with a epidural basically. So you don't have the after effects of the anesthesia ... or the dangers too!

I'm still so torn on this. It's still ALOT of money and I don't know if I can bring myself to spend that much.

After this post, I thought I should just add onto this one with the replies to my questions... so ... continued!

1.-Is there enough tissue in your opinion for a lift only?
No, there is not enough tissue, and you can tell because when you use your bra, the upper part of your breast is empty.

2.-What size would that make me if I didn't choose an implant?Probably less than a B cup. Because right now, you're not a D cup,probably not even a C cup, your breast right now is 80% skin.

3.-Have you done breast lifts with fat injection (if my body had enough available) before?
Yes, but this technique, we have to do multiple sessions, this means you have to come here between 3 to 4 times. I mean for a local patient, this can be done, for a foreign patient is unpractical.

4.- If I went with the augmentation, what type of implant do you use?
Are they silicone? Saline?
We usually use silicone implants (I'm told the GUMMI BEAR implants are used), the saline ones you have to replace them every ten years, but not the silicone ones, those can stay with you (if they don't have any problem) all your life.

5.-Also I am an asthmatic and allergic to Penicillin and Erythromycin... does that change the care that you are able to provide?
If your asthma is under control, and your asthma crisis are not as often, we can do the procedure.
I am sending you some medical forms you need to read , fill and send it back to me by email. In there you'll find some lab test we need for your procedure, those have to been done within 6 weeks from your surgery.
The antibiotic in this cases can be ciprophoxacin or levophloxacin.

6.- Thank you, unfortunately , your right, there are some things I can do, and some things I can't. I always try to do the best for my patients, because the best result, the more patient am I going to have. But I can not do miracles.

This surgeon has a huge following of very happy patients that love him dearly. He not only is their doctor but their friend. They all say he will visit with you every single day along with members of his staff through the day to check on you, re-do dressings, etc. Once you're back at home he expects daily emails to ensure everything is going well or if they're not, that you tell him. He's one of the few doctors that actually CARES.... I like that part more than the price. By far.

Plastics... first consult

2012-09-05T22:05:00.000-06:00

My first Plastics consult aka reconstructive surgery (even the doc called it that.. it's not considered cosmetic!) ... local surgeon.

First the burning questions...
What would the doctor recommend, the plusses of using him and lastly I'll discuss the cost.

He recommended the following procedures for me:

Full abdominoplasty (Tummy Tuck aka TT) which would include lipo, muscle repair, relocating the belly button as well as lipo in the mons which is the pubic area that tends to become rather pronounced ... like a little hill... post TT so they'd flatten it out some by removing some fat.
Breast Lift (Mastopexy) which would include implants (260cc) which post op would make me a solid full C cup. Not a deflated ...anywhere from B to D cup depending on the bra.
BodyTite Liposuction on my flanks. In lieu of a lower body lift which I frankly do not need, he suggested more what I could use is some lipo with laser tightening in my lower saddlebags/hips/back to smooth, tighten and shape that area.

BodyTite on YouTube

Plusses of using this doctor include...

It's LOCAL, literally blocks from my home, in case something should be an issue. There's no flying anywhere to have this done in another city or country and then having to fly home and deal with post-op complications and care with local docs.
He provides a pain pump. Sweet. Most surgeons I've looked at so far don't.
NO drains. He doesn't use them because the pain pump would be made ineffective with them... and better, he hasn't needed them
He suggests I would likely be back at work within the month at the latest... not up to 12 weeks like some people have had
The actual surgery time is under 5 hours. He doesn't like having surgeries for longer than that as it starts to increase complication rates.
He provides all the post-op dressings, post op care, touch ups within the first year

The costs... (all inclusive)

Abdominoplasty $10,065.44
BodyTite Lipo $5084.80
Bilateral Breast Lift $7,095.20

Total for all 3 = $22,245.44 CDN

We can't afford that. I can't ask hubby to put that kind of money into something as selfish as this. My WLS was one thing... and besides, it was only $5k plus travel costs... AND I was able to recover 1/2 of it since it was out of country medical.... this is over 4x that, completely unrecoverable. I'm sad. Hubby is not against it and would let me do it because he knows it's what I want but, the guilt...

A "sleeved" work around today....

2012-08-31T10:59:00.002-06:00

Our branch manager brought in fresh hot donuts for some great results on month end today.

I really wanted one but didn't want to actually eat a donut. So I got a honey glazed one, took a bite, chewed it to mush just so I could get the flavour and then spit it out.

Now I have a donut with a bite out of it sitting on my desk that I don't want anymore!

:D

ZEE heart... it burns!!!

2012-08-27T23:10:00.000-06:00

I've been having alot of heartburn lately and I haven't been able to pin down what's doing it just yet.

Examples...
Tonight I had 1 slice of cheddar cheese (old) and 3 medium sized shrimps with cocktail sauce for dinner. Heartburn.
Earlier today, I had 2 tablespoons of tuna salad (made at home just with miracle whip and pepper) on plain saltines for lunch. Heartburn.
Last night, I had 1 vietnamese spring roll for dinner. Heartburn.

Not sure what the common denominator is just yet. Anyone with suggestions, please, chime in.

I do not take ANYTHING for acid up to this point. This is new-ish... probably last month or 2.

2012-08-26T22:54:00.001-06:00

I am getting closer to 1.5 yrs out. Very very very few people at work know I had WLS, all of my family and close friends do though. My family/friends are all on board and frankly some are thinking about doing it for themselves! The thing is, since my surgery I have changed branches/provinces ... so no one in the new branch at work knows my new weight is actually NEW since they've only seen me at THIS weight.

But I have a bad habit. I get PISSED when people that clearly have not had weight issues make comments about how other's eat/their weight/etc.... and start to get annoyed quickly and comment how regardless of their diet, its no one's business how they are as a PERSON/MANAGER... etc... they have NOTHING to do with each other. It really makes me MAD when people in my office do that and I'm not quiet about it either.

My weight is MY business. If I choose to tell someone about my WLS, then I will. Mostly I will tell others that (I feel) struggle with their weight but even then, its a slippery slope. You don't want to offend. In their place, I would be so seriously embarrassed if someone brought up my weight. As much as I want to help those people, I know who might actually benefit from a life changing surgery such as this... its certainly NOT for the faint of heart.

Extra skin

2012-08-04T22:04:00.000-06:00

Saw a new doc this week that will be our new family doctor here. He was a sweet old guy, very kind and soft spoken. He seemed genuinely concerned about why I had WLS and asked me about skin folds. I think this is a great thing. He documented my folds and mentioned skin removal... I said yes i wanted it. From what I've heard, if its documented well enough, they will cover it on the BC health plan. Fingers crossed.

For reference... this is what 15 yrs of yo yo dieting from 250-130 lbs does to my body for extra skin. I have a push up bra on so you can't see the carnage up top unfortunately but after that appt, I thought I should document this somewhere. This is why there will not be a midriff baring ANYTHING on me until this is dealt with.

2012-07-19T10:14:00.003-06:00

Something that someone I know said in one of her posts has been resonating with me and I realized that over the last month-ish... I too no longer FEEL skinny.

I feel average. I'm still the same size, no change in my weight. But I think its my perception.

In Edmonton, people tended to be on the heavier side so I found myself (erroneously or not) comparing my body size in relation to theirs. Here in Vancouver, the population is largely Asian and as a rule, they tend to be rail thin. So now, I find myself comparing to their body size and I don't feel "fat" but I certainly don't feel like I'm among the slimmest.

Such a head game.

Plastics...

2012-06-29T12:05:00.000-06:00

I've been seeing the amazing results from a few different WLS patients surgery recently and I'm amazed at the results so early post op... it makes me envious!

It's definitely something that I want to do for myself in a year or so. I want to wait until my weight has stabilized for a longer term before I make that move as I know that it will re-distribute a little over time. But the extra skin that plagues my sight makes me uncomfortable naked. I feel like I look great in clothing but out of it my panni, the saggy boobies that look like water balloons .... the skin so loose I can grab it and pinch it and it STAYS pinched... those are the parts of my surgery experience that I don't like.

I'm happy with my size and I feel healthier than I have in a very long time. I don't have the issues with my knees or back like I once did. I don't huff and puff going up a set of stairs anymore. I feel GOOD. Next, I want to look as good as I feel and I know that means that plastics are in my future at some point.

1.25-ish years post op.

2012-06-11T23:04:00.002-06:00

I'm still able to eat anything I want. In moderation. A bite of something my head or mouth wants. Most often though, they want PROTEIN... I just want MEAT. Give me sliced meat wrapped around cheese and I'm a happy girl. But, when I don't have that (for whatever reason), Sleevie keeps me honest if I'm not being honest with myself.

I've noticed a few changes in recent months.

I'm now able to drink a "few gulps" of water. .... I wasn't able to drink more than 1 mouthful at a few minute time up to a year out without feeling nausea. Now I can do ... gulp, gulp, gulp. Usually that last gulp leads to a bit of that full burpy nausea though.

I can eat a TAD more now than I used to.
I ate for dinner tonight for example:
1 whole grain flatbed hamburger bun with 1 slice meat, 1 slice cheese, 1 tsp pineapple
It took me about an hour to eat both sides of the bun which had the condiments split btwn them.

I still avoid carbonation and frankly do not miss it at all. Haven't had anything (except a few sips here and there) since surgery over a year ago.... I really don't miss that at all. Surprisingly!

I've managed my weight loss of 91 lbs relatively easily so far.

What do I do?

I walk 20 min per day.. fast.
I (unintentionally, unconsciously) keep my calories around 1000-1200 a day thanks to sleevie
I still focus on protein being the main source of everything I put in my mouth (with some exceptions of wine lately)

What I want to do?

Become STRONG. I'm going to start Hot Yoga with a friend. I loved it the few times I've done it in the past.... I might not be the most flexible or coordinated but dayum... I feel like a million bucks after I've spent an hour (or more) in that hot room sweating and stretching!! Hot yoga is my strengthening start.
Work on more conditioning. I walk fast every day to and from work (1 km each way) but I'd like to see more cardio.

After Yoga... I have a ball, a mat, a roller... I will (plan to) get a few hand weights.... I've had dreams *literally* of the workouts I plan to do using my own body weight in the area around here as well as the cardio that I can do in this area... there's so much uphill walking available to me within a couple of minutes of here that I need to take advantage of!

Confessions...

2012-06-05T22:43:00.000-06:00

The last 2 month-ish has been hard. VERY hard. I've been having way too much wine. Way too often.

I'm fully aware that post-WLS transfer addictions are a serious problem. I KNOW that I should be careful that I'm not among that statistic but right now, its what I've been using to cope with my stress ... moving to a new province away from what I know and taking a new job with added responsibility.... Wrong or right, its what's working for me right now to deal. Stress has played a HUGE part in this and the method that I've chosen to do to deal with it. Hubby and I have even enabled each other completely in this. He's smoking, I'm drinking. We're both fully aware of what we're doing and how much we dislike each other's choices but are willing to overlook them right now

We both know that this is something that we need to change but we've chosen to accept it for what it is and to try not to judge the other person. We have yet to pick a "quit date" but it will be likely in the next week or so.

HELLLLLOOOOOO Burnaby, BC!!!!

2012-06-04T21:22:00.002-06:00

Packers, loaders.... unloaders, unpackers... everything went well. We had a few small damages but overall its been a great move. We've unpacked & placed pretty much everything in the last 4 days since the unpackers left. Our home is starting to look like a HOME. We still ADORE our rooftop deck... like LOVE LOVE LOVE. Hubby has managed to make us a few friends and we're one of very few caucasians in the 2 bldgs. That's fine with us!!! We've already been invited to a house party in the next bldg and we're trying to get our neighbours on either side of us to agree to a rooftop party between our places (we can open the gates between all three places) ... that will be up to hubby ... he's the party coordinator

Today was day 1 at my new office. I won't lie. I DID need my ativan at one point. I was shaking. JItterying... heart racing...

I hope that I can do better tomorrow since I'll know where I'm going and have a better handle on my team. I spent the day with them and my boss going over some of the coming changes and doing some triage with new business coming in. It wasn't a bad day considering I didn't have ANY computer or (technically) authority to make any decisions I was being asked to make.

I think that I did good. I just hope that the IT guy shows up and fixes my computer tomorrow so I can get a bunch of clearing out done and get things in order. THere's a lot to learn and having no real station, makes it harder!

A new chapter...

2012-05-22T22:08:00.001-06:00

Sometimes in life you have to do what you're most scared of doing. Step out of your comfort zone...remember what you deserve and don't settle for anything less. It's time to re-create myself and learn who I want to be/I am ... again. Employee/peer/manager.... another cog/different cog in the wheel.

Tomorrow is my last day!!!

I'm actually ready to move on RIGHT NOW. I spent ALL of today training my replacement and most of tomorrow will be the same.

I still have to pack the rest of the stuff at my desk and hubby is coming to pick it up and bring me my luggage as I go straight to Calgary from work on the bus starting at 430pm. Thursday/Friday I will be in Calgary doing management training with all the managers from Aviva Western Canada (eep... why am I so nervous!? I feel like a bit of a fraud actually going to this training!). While I'm gone to Calgary for training, the packers come Thursday, movers come Friday! Friday night 630pm I'm back on the bus back to Edmonton and Saturday morning we do the final inspection/hand over keys to our new (lease to own) tenant and we're off back to Calgary....

Itinerary:
Sat night Calgary, AB (3.5 hr drive)
Sunday Sicamous, BC (6 hr drive)
Monday Kelowna, BC (2 hr drive)
Tuesday Burnaby, BC ( 4.5 hrs to our new home!)

Next few days will be STRESS mixed with excitement! So much to do, so little time!

Burnin pain ... continued...

2012-05-18T11:44:00.004-06:00

After my last post, someone asked if it was my gallbladder. I immediately discounted it as I had read the pain is on the right side and into the back... but after talking to a girl at work who had her gallbladder out 2 weeks ago and reading online... I think that there is actually a really good chance it was my gallbladder.

Gallbladder issues are relatively common post WLS and I was warned to watch for it but when I went to the hospital they didn't even bring it up even when I said that I'd had WLS and lost so much weight.

When I talked to the girl at work she said for her it didn't matter if the food was overly fatty or greasy, sometimes her gallbladder would act up when she ate too much. I did eat too much that night. I know I did. I was burping like mad. The stuffed mushroom was so good that my mouth kept wanting to finish the rest of it and I had 2 bites too many and was rather uncomfortable the rest of the evening from over-eating so its possible it brought it on. When I showed her where my pain was and explained how it felt she was nodding the whole time telling me that's just how hers felt and that I should get an ultrasound to check it.

I guess that's something to look forward to when I get to Vancouver!

Burnin pain

2012-05-15T16:11:00.001-06:00

Rough day. I was woken this morning at 2am with intense sharp pain in my tummy. The burning pain continued for hours before i finally gave up and went in to the urgent care. They have no idea why I have this pain. The doc palpated my abdomen, they took pee, blood and X-rays. Nothing. All he commented was that my xiphoid was swollen. They gave me pantaloc and a maalox/anesthetic mix to drink that numbed my throat and sent me on my way with a script for a month of pantaloc. I admit that this morning I was afraid I had a leak. A year out a leak would be damn near impossible but the pain was right where sleevie sits and I was scared. They assured me I had no leak, no ulcers, no hernias... just this unknown pain. I'm hanging out napping and dealing with moderate burning in my gut now and am afraid to put anything in me for fear it will make it hurt again. I know I need to eat though... but I'm scared it will make it worse.