Chronicles of Neurotic-A

Praise God!

2011-08-26T16:17:00.001-04:00

As of 8/4/11 all has been resolved. Praise God!!

2011-07-05T09:55:00.000-04:00

I'm depressed. I'm worried about our fiances. The insurance not coming thru on dad's death. The disappointment and anger Don will have when we don't get that "free money". He's already been shopping for a new vehicle on-line. I worry about him and never about me. I work full-time to support him and our daughter while he doesn't even look for a job. For four years he has worked only 12 weeks part-time and that was only a few months ago. He was fired 2 months after our wedding and only had one job interview since then besides his 12 week tax job which I had to pay for him to do. Essentially, I paid for him to work and get out of the house and had to put our child in day-care--and pay for that too--because of it. I barely make enough to get by, paying a mortgage, all our bills, not to mention diapers & all the things 2 dogs require. I'm sorry to admit that the dogs haven't been to the vet in years for their routine checks/shots. None of this bothers Don, yet I would rather suffer through then confront him one more time. There are days I'm able to enjoy our marriage some - its easier on days he's affectionate toward me - but those days are few and far between. I don't believe he's cheating. He's too lazy for that.
I'm just very stressed and worn out. I've been to several doctors who tell me I have chronic fatigue and nerve damage stemming from the seriousness of it. I can't find a solution. I won't give up my time with our daughter. As it is, I only get around 4 hours a day with her before her bedtime. Then I read or find other reasons to stay up--if I don't pass out in the recliner first. Sometimes I just want to die--but baby brings me back. I can't bear to think of being without her. I do often fantasize about running away with her though. Just literally packing the car, cleaning out the bank account and leaving a note behind. I've even researched area's across the country to live; that "dream" of mine is so real......

My Review of Fisher-Price Precious Planet Color Change Shade

2011-03-22T15:35:00.002-04:00

Originally submitted at Toys R Us

Fisher-Price Precious Planet Color Change Shade static cling sun shade that transitions from light to dark in response to sunlight. Shade is clear at night for improved driver visibility. Helps block UV sun rays. 15" x 15" shade. Comes in pack of 2, one for each rear auto window.

HORRIBLE

By Mommy from Michigan on 3/22/2011

Cons: Wears Easily
Describe Yourself: First Time Parent

I wish I would have reviewed this product online before purchasing from the store. It was easy to apply to the windows but although the box clearly states the color change should last 1-2 YEARS it didn't even last an entire week. We're at the end of a very cloudy winter in Michigan and the color change only happened once. By the second sunny day, they were completely useless. I'm so disappointed that I wasted my time/money on this product. My daughter is miserable with the sun in her face - it offers no protection!

(legalese)

Blah Blog

2011-03-07T15:08:00.001-05:00

I wish I were a better blogger.

2011-02-10T10:09:00.001-05:00

Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.

~Doug Firebaugh

Humble Pie

2011-01-27T15:52:00.001-05:00

I was very humbled today and God knows I needed it.

I've been so wrapped up in finding the "perfect childcare solution" for my precious little girl. What I need to remember is that I HAVE a little girl to worry about. I will find the right situation and my family will be fine. The true blessing is that I have a family to love.

After trying for a baby for 18 months, loosing 3 along the way, you think I'd have an easier time keeping my priorities in order.

Parents Photo Faves

2010-07-27T10:28:00.000-04:00

Parents Photo Faves

Finally: My Birth Story

2010-06-30T09:21:00.004-04:00

I’m surprised I haven’t posted this yet!

On Thanksgiving, we traveled 2 hours to my in-laws to celebrate the holiday. I didn’t feel quite right, but I brushed it off as being extra tired. I also noticed that my LO wasn’t moving much, but she never did when I was on the move a lot. While I was concerned, I didn't let it show and I somewhat brushed it off as just being extra tired after my own busy day.

Back home on Black Friday, we decided to get in a little bargain baby shopping. DH & I headed out for about 2 hours before we went back home where I laid down for around 2.5 – 3 hours to rest. After that, I felt better and wanted to go out again. While we were shopping, (I was taking it very slow) I kept complaining to my DH that the baby was really pushing on me, I had to pee more often than usual and I was extremely tired. I still didn’t think much of it since it was a crazy couple of days.

Around 5pm we were back home and I noticed spotting when I used the bathroom. I freaked out! DH told me to eat dinner and rest…. about an hour later, I woke up, used the bathroom again and found red blood. We immediately called the Dr. and she told us to go to the ER. We checked in there about 8 pm.

The L&D nurses hooked me up to monitors (after waiting nearly an hour!) and told me I was actually contracting 1 – 2 minutes apart! The nurse was shocked I didn’t recognize labor, but they were fairly mild. After all, I was only in my 7th month and just took my Lamaze class the weekend before! I was given a shot to stop labor and the doctor performed an U/S (saw no sign of distress). By midnight, I was moved to an L&D room to be monitored overnight. At that point, I was given an oral med to stop labor and the nurses told my DH to go home and sleep… even though they were giving me a steroid shot “in case” baby comes. DH left around 1:30 am to let the dogs out and I tried to get some sleep.

Around 4:30 am, I told the nurse I was still bleeding and contracting, but she didn’t believe me. She pointed to the monitor and said, “No, you’re not!” I asked her to put her hand on my belly. She did, and exclaimed, "You ARE in labor!" then instantly ran out of the room. She came back a few moments later and said, “Doctor wants you prepped for a C-section now, so your hubby better get here soon.” Obviously, I was shocked! I found out later, the monitors were on wrong. Not only was I contracting (and still bleeding) but the baby’s heart rate had dropped!

They immediately started prepping me while giving me oxygen in hopes of "waking the baby up" while someone at the nurses station was trying to call Don – but he wasn’t picking up! Finally, just as I was about to be wheeled into the OR, she said Don was on his way. (He passed out after being awake nearly 24 hours and didn’t hear the phone). All I could think is, "Don't be mad at him for forgetting to bring the camera."

The epidural was a horrific experience. I could feel the thread going thru my spine and a second doctor had to be called in. It took nearly 30 minutes of poking before they got it in the right place. On the flip side, if it wouldn’t have taken so long, Don would have missed the delivery. Just as I laid back and they confirmed I was numb, I heard the doctor say, “We’re going to get started.” A second later, DH was standing over me, in scrubs, saying, “I’m here, I’m here… just breathe…. *pause—looks up* She’s here too!” He literally arrived 30 seconds before the baby did! I couldn’t hear G cry at first and I was terrified. As it turns out, she had swallowed a lot of my blood. After several seconds, I could hear a faint cry, but no one would tell me anything and I couldn’t see. I could only hear my doctor call me a “bleeder.”

I started shaking horribly after the placenta was delivered and then got sick on the table. They eventually stabilized G and took her to the NICU – I never even got to peek at my precious girl until several hours later when I was being rolled out of recovery into my room.

The doctor needed “extra time” to suction me out from all the blood and despite the epi, I was in a lot of pain. Later, I developed a spinal headache and had a 6” bruise on my back, around the injection site(s).

G was in the NICU for 6 days, which the nurses called a “record” for a preemie of 32 weeks (born 7w 1d early ~ due 1/17/10). She improved by leaps and bounds daily and now we joke that the placenta tore away (starting labor) because she grabbed it and pulled, trying to find her way out. She’s healthy, strong, and the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

March for Babies

2010-03-26T15:30:00.002-04:00

Our first March for Babies event is coming soon! Please click on my side bar to learn more! ---->

Help support March of Dimes ~ sharing the vision that one day all babies will be born healthy. :)

Its a girl

2010-02-26T14:51:00.004-05:00

Not long after my last post, our daughter, G arrived via Emergency C-section on 11/28/09 @ 6:15 a.m., seven weeks early. She was 4lb, 6oz., 17"

We're doing fine now, just hiding indoors during this wretched winter and counting our blessings that we have such an amazing new addition to our lives.

I can't describe to you how much I love that girl.

3D Ultrasound and Shower Weekend!

2009-11-16T15:52:00.003-05:00

Saturday, November 7th & Sunday, November 8th, 2009

We had a busy weekend!
Saturday was the 3D/4D ultrasound. Normally, at the time of the u/s she’s kicking up a storm, but of course the one time you want her too, she was sleeping! The tech was nice enough to work extra hard and give us more prints, but her face is hugging the placenta, so the pictures weren’t all they could be. The technician asked me to lay on my side, facing away from the monitor, but it didn't help get a better view. At least I got to watch Don and mom view the monitor.... Still, it’ll be fun to see what she “really looks like” at birth! Plus, she's no longer breech! Don & mom were pretty excited.

My favorite face shot: Pouting already!

My favorite anatomy shot: She’s got Daddy’s big feet! He’s so excited because he said he saw her wiggle her toes… something he does constantly…lol…. behind that, you can see her fist.

Sunday was the first baby shower (11 guests) and I have to tell you, Babies R Us did not update the registry except for ONE small item and several of my guests told me they DID give the clerk my registry info at check out. That was pretty frustrating, but LUCKILY we didn’t get a single repeat gift and nothing we’d need to exchange. We feel very blessed! We happened to get the Travel System, Pack n’ Play & swing, bouncy seat, bath tub, books, and diapers – what a relief! We hadn't picked out a bouncy seat, but Kari was so funny explaining it. She said, "I know you haven't registered for it, but so many of my friends couldn't live without theirs!" Then she went on to explain E-V-E-R-Y feature.... she'll be a doting aunt. :)

Another precious moment: Walter drew me a very detailed picture full of trucks. He spoke so long about it, I couldn't attempt to remember it all.... though there was mention of trucks that shoot at you, so he recommended a truck I should buy that will protect me... Anyway, while he's talking, he picked his nose and then stuck it in his mouth. Ewww! Lucky me!! He's such a 4 year old. lol

I don’t get to see my younger sisters often (not since Feb) so it was great to see first-hand how excited they are to become aunts. :) Some (evil) coworkers teased me horribly about having “only” 11 guests but I was so pleased that I got to spend time with everyone. It was a lot of fun - and after that weekend, I'm exhausted!

Tiny Dancer!

2009-10-19T13:05:00.001-04:00

Baby Girl,

You've been kicking up a storm lately! Some days I can sit and watch my belly move as if it isn't even connected to my body!

Last night, while we were trying to go to sleep, you started kicking like crazy. Daddy put his hand on my tummy and you kicked for so long, he fell asleep! At least 30 minutes later, I fell asleep, but only because you had just started to slow down. Are you trying to force your way out? ;-)

Love you!

Baby Updatin'

2009-10-12T15:35:00.000-04:00

10/12/09
I haven't updated lately, but we just had our last doctor's appointment on Friday, 10/9/09.

We heard the heartbeat once again (around 150) and doc told me everything on my end looks good. Since she was breech, the last time they checked, we'll have another ultrasound around 7.5 - 8 months.
We're considering a 3D ultrasound, but those things are expensive!
I'll post the last 2D ultrasounds if I ever remember....

Oh, and did you notice? The countdown has gotten into the double-digits!
As of 10/10/09 we have 99 days left until the due date! Wowsa!

UPDATES!

2009-09-10T16:06:00.003-04:00

9/8/09 ~ 21w2d ~ ITS A GIRL!!!
The ultrasound was long and intense-in a good way! Her heartbeat was 146 and she weighs just under 1lb. No doubt its a girl! One view looks like she was sitting right on the camera! It was really amazing to see her fully formed hand... and she has Daddy's feet! Her spine ... femur, tibia... so neat!

The doctor said we're on track and everything is normal (yay for me not gaining in a month!) She was on a weird angle (wrapped in a C-shape around my belly button) and breech, so we'll repeat the ultrasound at 7 months to get more views.

We're so excited!

9/4/09 ~ 20w5d ~ Don felt the baby kick for the first time! It was quite a THUD if I say so myself. You should have seen his eyes bug out! The movement has really picked up since week 20 - more and more everyday! :)

Kinda Cool, Right?

2009-09-04T14:40:00.002-04:00

I just think its kinda cool.

As of Tuesday, September 1st, we've been married
2 years, 2 months, 2 weeks, and 2 days.

xoxoxox

Handy Dandy Tips: Baby

2009-08-24T11:58:00.000-04:00

*Instead of buying an expensive nursing cover, go to your local craft store! Buy clips and ribbon to create a behind-the-neck clip that can turn any baby blanket into a nursing cover.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29445651&ref=sr_list_3&&ga_search_query=nursing+cover&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=2&min=0.2&max=5&order=date_desc&includes[]=tags&includes[]=title
A friend made her own for $1.98 with supplies from Joann Fabrics.

*Before registering, check out Baby Bargains 8th edition. Its a superb Consumers Report style book outlining brands, stores, must haves, and wastes of money for all things baby. We've gotten so many great tips from this book!

*Check out the website nhtsa.gov for information on carseats and safety ratings.

*Our new favorite: Once Upon a Child second-hand retail shops. They are a chain and hold high standards. All items are checked for recall before they are accepted/sold. We bought a brand new sleeper for our January bean for $3.50. Parents can also sell their gently used goods!

~I'll add more as I come across them :)

Movement!

2009-08-24T11:16:00.000-04:00

Preggo brain strikes again!

I meant to update - On August 11th, I felt the first movement of our Wee One! 17w,1d and I felt tiny bubbles/flutters everyone talks about. Maybe its because of my extra layer of fat, but I only seem to feel it at night (even now at 19w1d). I promptly told Don that since this baby already has his/her days & nights mixed up, he'll be on midnight bottle duty.

Our TTC Story

2009-08-18T11:58:00.000-04:00

My story started 11 years ago when I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 19. Luckily, I only had surgery to remove a 15 lb. tumor - but I lost one ovary. Because of the risk of reaccurant cysts, I was put on BCP immediately, so I never knew if I was ovulating. We got married in '07 and I went of BCP 4 months after the wedding.

Though we TTC right away, I was charting and realized nearly 5 months passed before my period was "normal" again. At 7 months of trying, I talked to my OB who gave me a Rx for Clomid to start the next cycle. A few days later, I got a BFP. That pregnancy ended in a m/c at 13+w.

I had to have a D&C because my body was not rejecting the fetus. It literally took 78 days before the bleeding stopped. I tried pills to help remove the tissue, but I refused another D&C so I just had to deal with it. I was able to TTC again, 108 days after the D&C.

I had spotting while on BCP and it continued afterward, getting worse and worse, especially after the D&C. My doc was never concerned, so I did research of my own and tried self-medicating with B6 pills (I had side-effects). I got my next BFP only 3 months after we TTC again, but it ended at only 4w.

My doctor tested my ANA (auto-immune), Progesterone, and PTT levels (blood clot). I had an elevated ANA (Rheumatoid) and he put me on Baby Aspirin (81 mg) daily. He claimed the other levels were "normal".

I was fed up and refused to accept my spotting was for "no reason" so I bought progesterone cream from an Internet site. After two months of using that, baby aspirin, preseed (sperm-friendly lube), OPKs, and charting, I was pregnant again. This time, even with the progesterone I was spotting (red/pink) for nearly two weeks after the BFP.

My doctor wrote me a Rx for vaginal progesterone and it stopped immediately. I was taking 200 mg suppositories 2x a day till week 13.

The baby is doing well, dispite loosing the twin. My doctor still takes credit for the progesterone. "If I wouldn't have put you on it, that baby might not have been here right now."

Oh... but my self-medicating with the pro. cream didn't do anything, right? Sheesh!

Hallelujah!

2009-08-13T09:57:00.000-04:00

Can we please celebrate the fact that at 17w4d I can still fit into ONE pair of my normal dress pants!!!

Sure, they were falling off before, but I choose not to dwell on the fine details.

Late Update

2009-08-13T09:46:00.000-04:00

August 7th, 2009 Appointment ~ 16w5d

It took a minute to find the heartbeat but it was there and healthy! Hooray!!

The BIG ultrasound is September 8th! (Unless my pregnancy brain is deceiving me...I better double check.)

We are so excited to see what this little one is going to be! Let the shopping begin!

I've been on Team Blue since the beginning, but lately I've had serious doubts. Maybe its because we have a girls name already, but a girl is what I'm starting to expect. Either way, I can't wait! I would love either a girl or boy so it doesn't matter much to me. :)

Telling my Side

2009-07-29T14:43:00.000-04:00

Since mom only comes over thru a bribe, I pulled out a bunch of clothes I can no longer use and told her to come over and take whatever she wanted. Just under the first item, I hide a bright green onesie that said, “Grandma Loves Me”. Not long after she got there, I placed the bag in front of her and she picked up that first item—a pair of pants. She held them up, then threw them back on top of the onesie! She sat down with a thud on the couch and started to complain about work…. I was stunned for a second but then forced the issue. I made her stand up to see the matching jacket. Just when she went to throw it back onto the pile again, she glanced down and saw the onesie. She looked and said, “My Grandma what? What’s that for?” Just then she looked at me and I was just smiling.

She choked out another “What?... You’re…?” and then she started sobbing so hard she almost fell over. Luckily, she made it back to the couch but was balling uncontrollably into the dress jacket I gave her. I pulled it away, saying, “NO… You’ll ruin the jacket!” and I ran to give her a roll of toilet paper.

She continued to periodically cry as we continued to talk.

After things calmed down a bit, I text Jimmy a pic of the u/s with the phrase, “Uncle Jim, see you in January 2010”. He text “Congratulations” almost immediately so I called him. He seemed pretty excited—more so when he realized I “got mom off [his] back for a few years.” haha

This meant it was time to tell Grandma. We hatched a plan that I would call and stall her until mom showed up unexpectedly. We were discussing a TV show (I know Ed from Bachelorette) when mom walked in and made sure I heard her say “hi ma” to Grandma. At that point, Gramma tried putting me on the phone with mom! I knew I had to hurry so I just blurted, “Grandma. I’m pregnant.” [pause] “WHAT!?!?!?! Oh my G-d!” …over and over again. The rest was a blur since I’m not sure if she was talking to me or mom… but I definitely heard, “Well, thank God I’m lying down!”

I hurried to email everyone else. Not long after, Gramma called back to tell me how excited Uncle Dennis was. Then she begged me to let her tell Aunt Angie. She said, “I told Sadie [the cat] but that’s not enough!” So, of course I told her she could. Her reply? “Good. Now I’ve got to go so I can call her!” Click.

Tami saw her text when she got home. She called, crying. She said, “I was screaming until I heard the phone ring and I started to cry!” She’s too funny. Almost immediately she said, “Don’t worry. I’ll help your mom with the shower.”

Finally, by 9:30pm it was time to relax. In the morning, everyone (but Adam) emailed their congratulations.

Somebody else finally knows!

2009-07-27T10:30:00.000-04:00

The (postponed) date for my MIL's birthday finally came, so DH & I presented her with a necklace I made. It had a "Grandma" charm with 5 birthstones (she has 4 grandkids + our little one)

Just when she opened it, my DH said, "We have ALL FIVE stones on there."

She said "how pretty!" and my FIL rushed to help her put it on. We just sat there.... I was hitting my husbands leg under the table.... he finally said, "Did you hear what I said? ALL FIVE stones."

They both gave us blank stares for about 20 seconds before my MIL said, "What? You mean YOU?!"

It was cute

Later, we got to tell my BIL & SIL. My SIL is very excited - the only niece/nephew they have (other side of the family) are teenagers. It'll be nice because their kids are young too so they'll be close in age to our LO.

It was such a relief to finally be able to tell! I'm *hoping* to bribe my mother into coming over this week so I can tell her, then I'll tell my boss sometime the second week of Aug (after 1 more doppler check).

Cravings!

2009-07-22T10:48:00.000-04:00

Pregnancy Tickers from WiddlyTinks.com

At 14w3d I've experienced an improvement in morning sickness but brushing my teeth is still hell!

Cravings include:
Sour (lemons, green apples)
Peach Jell-O
Tacos--always tacos.
Grapefruit
Potatoes/French Fries --I've been eating a baked potato with salsa every night for a snack--for 2 weeks!
Fried Chicken (on salads and in sandwiches)
Today's craving: Cottage Cheese.. with peaches! YUM

I've decided this baby will have dark hair, dark blue eyes, and a serious penchant for fruit and starch.

12w1d appointment: 7/6/09

2009-07-16T15:00:00.000-04:00

The appointment went well!

I *thought* it would be more intense, but all I had to do was pee in a cup, get weighed (yuck) and see the doc for a doppler check.

I've gained a total of 6 lbs., good!, but feels like so much more

Doc found the heartbeat on the doppler... and says I'm in the "safe zone" now! Yay, Baby Bean!

Extra good news: We found an infant car seat at Meijer for $23.99!!!!

7/11/09

WOO HOO! If this bean is a girl, her name will be Genevieve! Now for a middle name (Noelle?) and a boy name. FUN!

7/15/09
I'm officially in the 2nd trimester at 13w3d! Yippee!!

Dry Heaves. Thank Goodness

2009-06-29T14:28:00.000-04:00

No. Really. I'm serious.

~Just when I begin to worry... "is baby still okay?" I get the dry heaves and everything is okay again.

~I was reading a post by a teenage mother-to-be on a message board I frequent: "Is it normal to have weird cravings at this stage? Yesterday I ate a pickle wrapped in cheese!" All I could think is, "Oh, now THAT sounds good! Yum-yum!"

~I'm 11w1d today and I've been using a hair tie to secure my pants for at least 8 weeks now. (use a thin hair tie, thread thru your button hole then use the loop to grab the button. An instant 1/2" - 1" increase of belly breathing room!)

~Did I mention I cried over pancakes? Well, I nearly cried over grilled cheese too.
.... Boy, I could go for one of those right now!

~My husband does't want me to buy a black onesie with a "Grandma" tattoo on the front. (Think of the old school "Mom" with a heart tattoos) I think my mom would love one! He's such a stickler for babies = cute. Ha! Our baby = Mom is Badass!

~I'm stuck at work listening to my insane coworkers love of K-100 (Country station). The song is something like "God is great, beer is good, people are crazy."
While I can't dispute the logic, it makes me think, "If this song plays one more time, I'LL SHOW THEM CRAZY!!!!"

Peace out. Preggo brain kicked in and I feel like its nap time once again.