Chuck Norris Ate My Baby

7 Most Watch Horror Movies for Summerween!

2026-07-08T15:46:20.823-04:00

Start your Summerween off on the right (severed) foot with these must watch summer horror movies!

Summer of Fear aka Stranger in Our House – Wes Craven (1978)

Linda Blair stars in an early made-for-TV Wes Craven movie based on a Lois Duncan novel about a teenager who may or may not be a witch… need I say more? Okay: Lee Purcell.

Fun fact: This premiered on October 31, so it’s really the perfect Summerween movie.

No One Will Save You – Brian Duffield (2023)

A home invasion movie where the invaders are, in fact, aliens. Mostly set in one location and featuring almost no dialogue, No One Will Save You is intense and tightly paced. It also features the classic grey alien, which is something that simply hasn’t been utilized enough in movies.

The Ruins – Carter Smith (2008)

Based on the novel of the same name, The Ruins follows a group of entitled tourists who end up on the wrong side of both the locals and an unknown threat after overstepping their boundaries. Filled with some grotesque body horror, The Ruins is criminally underrated and a must-watch this summer. I’ve written about this one previously. Click here to read my words!!

Fall – Scott Mann (2022)

The premise is simple: two adventure-seeking women climb a 2,000-foot abandoned radio tower and climb right back down. Just kidding. They end up stranded at the top of the tower with no way to get back down. Despite its modest budget, Fall is an effective and absolutely terrifying experience, especially if you’re afraid of heights. Which I am.

Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers – Michael A. Simpson (1988)

Let’s face it, any of the films in this series fit the bill, and as much as I adore the first movie, my heart will always belong to Unhappy Campers. It’s CAMPY (sorry), over-the-top, and features a number of fun kills. However, what really makes this one work (as well as the equally enjoyable sequel, Teenage Wasteland) is Pamela Springsteen’s hilariously fun performance.

Southbound – Radio Silence (2015)

An anthology film featuring five tales of terror, Southbound’s desert highway backdrop—which serves as a sort of intersection connecting each tale—is as hot and desolate as it is moody and atmospheric.

Just Before Dawn – Jeff Lieberman (1981)

Noted for its jaw-dropping Oregon forest locations, Just Before Dawn is more than your typical backwoods slasher. The film focuses on unsettling tension and atmosphere while featuring a terrific score that’s sure to get under your skin.

Slash Through Summer With These Horror Book Recommendations!

2026-07-01T22:26:44.105-04:00

Summer is whack. It’s hot and hot and also hot. Three things that are… you guessed it! Whack.

Skip all that garbage by grabbing yourself a scary horror book, specifically one set during the hot summer months, and live vicariously through the lives of people fighting for theirs with these summer horrors book recommendations to help you beat the summer heat!

Fantasticland - Mike Bockoven

When a hurricane hits the coast of Florida, a group of employees find themselves trapped inside of a theme park, where social structure and sanity quickly deteriorate, and chaos ensues.

Described as Lord of the Flies meets Battle Royal, Fantasticland is told through investigative interviews with the characters involved. The ones that survived, that is.

You're Not Supposed to Die Tonight - Kalynn Bayron

When the employees of an interactive, slasher-themed summer camp start turning up dead, it’s up to the “final girl” to fight for her survival while protecting her coworkers and loved ones.

Summerside Lake Massacre - L.R.J. Allen

Following a timeline that bounces back and forth between the 1950s and current-day 1980s, this summer camp slasher weaves a tale that reveals a town's dark past in the bloodiest of fashions.

The Devil All the Time - Donald Ray Pollock

This Southern Gothic tale interconnects a number of storylines that, to put it lightly, are sleazy and completely disturbing. You can feel the sweat and grit with each page turn. There’s a film adaptation, with a terrific cast, on Netflix that might be okay if you haven’t read the book. But please, read the book instead.

The Blonde Dies First - Joelle Wellington

In this meta-supernatural slasher, a group of lifelong friends accidentally release a demon that begins stalking them on the hot Summer streets of Brooklyn, New York.

Home Is Where the Bodies Are - Jeneva Rose

While this one is more thriller than outright horror, the book revolves around a trio of siblings who, after being reunited to deal with their mother’s passing, discover a VHS tape that reveals a horrible family secret.

That does it for me. If you’ve read any of these books, then I’d love to hear your feedback. If you haven’t, then, well, hopefully one of these tickles your sweaty summer pickle.

Dracula Live From Transylvania TV Spot - 1988 Halloween TV Special

2026-06-27T15:38:28.068-04:00

Dracula Live From Transylvania is a live Halloween TV special hosted by George Hamilton. The special, which focuses on both the history and mythology of Dracula and vampires alike, aired on October 25, 1988.

I was lucky enough to catch it live on channel 20 WTXX-TV, an independent station out of Connecticut. I actually recorded the special and still have that tape, complete with commercials. The special is a lot of fun and really hits those nostalgic feels for me. There are copies of the special floating around on YouTube, so if you are looking to dig into something spooky, kitschy and fun during Summerween, Halloween, Springween, Christmasween, or any other ‘ween you can think of, then I definitely recommend giving Dracula Live From Transylvania a TWIST! Sorry.

This TV spot advertising the special was taken from Dailymotion, which I actually cleaned up a bit. Please enjoy.

P.S. Hi! It’s been a bit. Maybe I’ll post something later on so we can catch up a little. Love you.

The 2023 Halloween Party Music UBER MEGA-MIX!

2023-10-22T18:36:00.000-04:00

Darkness is abound, completely taking over

As your senses are filed with the smells of October

The blackness is unavoidable as it continues to swirl

So best to embrace it and get ready to twirl

As the sounds begin to pulsate, you feel your heart rate

Continue to rise from its once resting state

The wind howls loudly as it begins to whip

To the spooky sounds that come from the 2023 Halloween Party UBER MEGA-MIX!!

I may not be around much these days, but CNAMB is always in my heart (especially during Halloween), and I’ll be damned if I will not always make an effort to, at the very least, drop the most recent, most sickest, most INSANE Halloween music playlist ever made my a human named Matt who runs a blog titled Chuck Norris Ate My Baby. As always, this Halloween playlist is always evolving and always growing, and I try to mix the videos up so there is variety from one song to the next. I’ve added quite a few new videos this year, and did my best to track down any that may have been pulled from YouPorn, I mean Tube. Well, at least if I notice. I should probably keep track of what I have on this list, but that would be smart. Who the fuck does smart things?

Okay, hope you are all having a sick a TWIZTED Halloween so far, and feel free to send me cash if you feel like it. Bye. Love you.

Salute Your Shorts: Jack Attack 2013

2023-10-19T18:40:00.008-04:00

It’s Halloween night in a quaint neighborhood where a young boy named Jack (Tyler Rossell) and his babysitter, Elizabeth (Helen Rogers), are headed home to do a little pumpkin carving. It’s obvious that this is Jack’s first experience partaking in this beloved Halloween tradition, and Elizabeth does a great job making it as enjoyable as she can for the young boy. After they finish with their jack-o-lantern, Elizabeth bakes some pumpkin seeds while Jack gets ready to go trick or treating, and despite the fact that Elizabeth’s boyfriend is MIA, all seems about as perfect as can be on this Halloween night.

Throughout the first half of this 8-minute short film, there are some genuinely sweet interactions between Elizabeth and Jack, with both actors giving solid, believable performances. It’s almost heartwarming watching the two enjoy the traditions of Halloween together. There’s even a cute little dog to hammer home the warm, cozy feelings. While this charming first half very much feels in line with the lighter, more familial side of Halloween, I think we all know that Halloween isn’t always so sweet, and things suddenly take a dark turn for both Jack and Elizabeth.

Without giving away any of the horrific goods, I will say that If you have a fear of choking or are sensitive to seeing young children in peril, you might be a little turned off by some of the situations that unfold in Jack Attack. But most of you, myself included, will find these elements to be quite effective. There are moments where Jack Attack goes into some pretty gruesome and even frightening places, but It’s not done in a mean-spirited fashion. In fact, Jack Attack blends a tasty mix of horror and fun, which is really the perfect recipe for capturing the spirit of Halloween.

Written and directed by Bryan Norton and Antonio Padovan, Jack Attack features an impressively high level of production value, which is matched by great sound design and gruesomely satisfying special effects. In many ways, Jack Attack almost feels as if it could live in the same world as Trick r’ Treat and feels very much in line with the FEARnet (RIP) Trick ‘r Treat holiday shorts that were being released back in 2011. It hits that Halloween vibe so nicely, and it does so without much time invested, making it the perfect thing to throw on in between that 46th rewatch of Halloween 4 and 5.

The 2022 Halloween Party Music UBER MEGA-MIX!

2022-10-14T08:15:00.001-04:00

Get ready to put on your dancing shoes all you spooky ghouls

As once again it’s that time of year filled with creaks and boos

Despite the creepy setting and all that comes with it

The beats will hit so hard that there’s no way you’ll be able to sit

While all the children are out enjoying their night of treats and tricks

It’s time for us to kick off the 2022 Halloween Party Music UBER MEGA-MIX!

Salute Your Shorts: I Love Sarah Jane (2008)

2022-10-06T22:57:00.003-04:00

Like most 13-year-old boys, Jimbo (Brad Ashby) has that one girl he is crushing on hard, and despite there being this whole “zombie apocalypse” thing going on, he will do whatever it takes to win the affection of Sarah Jane (Mia Wasikowska).

Written by David Michôd and Spencer Susser (who also directed), I Love Sarah Jane is an Australian lensed short film that focuses on a group of children living their day-to-day lives in a world that has been ravaged by zombies. While the details are minimal, the kids are left to their own device likely because their parents were killed at some point. To pass the time, some of the kids screw around with a captured zombie and do other things that kids without parents around are apt to do. But this is not the case for Jimbo, who is more concerned with spending time with Sarah.

I Love Sarah Jane looks at young love through the dingy windows of the zombie apocalypse, and does so in a way that is effective in its simplicity and genuine approach. The short features some very high production value with a backdrop that perfectly conveys a world ravaged by an apocalypse, all of which is brought to life by some great looking cinematography. Furthermore, the film has some incredible looking makeup effects on display, specifically with the short’s main zombie (non) threat.

I Love Sarah Jane clocks in at about 14 minutes, and it’s a wise way to spend 14 minutes of your time, as this is a fantastic little zombie flick that adds a level of humanity that doesn't feel manufactured or generic. Check it out below.

The Contraption (1977): Despite All My Rage

2022-10-04T18:13:00.002-04:00

"Out of all the men in the world, I ended up marrying a bloody mouse."

Written, produced and directed by James Dearden, this 1977 UK made short film stars Richard O'Brien as The Man and Charlotte Cornwell providing the short's only line of dialogue. The Contraption is one of a handful of horror shorts that would appear as filler for various late night programming on the USA Network back in that wonderful era known as the 80s. I first encountered The Contraption at a pretty young age; an age when I was really falling in love with the horror genre, and seeing something such as this at that time in my youth left quite the memorable impact.

When it comes down to it, much of that impact would have to do with one thing, and that is simply how well made The Contraption is. It's effective in its simplicity and grabs your attention only to lead you down a path to a very dark place. The music as well as the sound design are nothing short of terrifying, and with the intricate sounds so amplified - so exaggerated - it is difficult not to get roped into what this man might be doing. With each intense turn of a screw, with every rip of the hand saw, with every smack of the mallet, there is a certain impact that each of these individual moments have in what they collectively lead up to.

The setting is nothing more than what appears to be a poorly lit basement, where the only light that is cast comes from a single lamp above. The darkness of this man's surroundings engulfs his project, making it seem as if he is in an alternate place where all his focus is on the task at hand. In many ways, this dark and empty setting speaks incredible relevance as to where he is emotionally, as he is a man who is working to take his own life, a man who is currently engulfed by the darkest of moments.

Watching a man carefully craft his own demise is quite impactful, seeing him actually do it just furthers that, but what really sets this short on the top shelf of quality is that one little line of dialogue. "Out of all the men in the world, I ended up marrying a bloody mouse." It's that last little touch that adds volume to what was just witnessed on screen. That line of dialogue makes you wonder why he has done this, and in a way, it adds depth to the situation and character, leaving quick theories to stew in the brain for a few moments afterwards. It's what kept a short like The Contraption embedded in a young horror fan's mind for many years to come, and even now, after so many years have passed, it still carries its weight in horror gold.

The Midnight Hour (1985) VHS Collection

2020-10-19T23:31:00.018-04:00

This would certainly not be the first time I've posted about the1985 Made-for-TV Halloween classic, The Midnight Hour. In fact, it’s not even the first time I’ve posted some of my VHS copies of the movie (you can see that HERE). Regardless, The Midnight Hour is one that always deserves all the love, and I sure as hell don’t mind giving it some. That, and I have picked up a handful of very cool foreign VHS copies of the movie since I last posted about it in 2016, so I figured it would be a great time to share my updated collection with you.

Vidmark (United States)

Vidmark (Screener Copy)

Anchor Bay Clamshell (United States)

This copy is one that I bought when it was released in 1999, and this is more than likely the first time I had seen the movie again since its original TV airing. As a result, this release holds a very special place in my heart.

United Video Kauf Cassette (Germany)

Ixion (Japan)

Record Vision/MidWest (Spain)

Video Films/Video Elit (Greece)

Each of these releases are simply very cool looking, but I find myself going back and forth between the Greek and Spanish releases as my favorite in terms of cover art. Both VHS covers just really hit that sweet Halloween horror spot for me.

With that being said, I hope you've enjoyed this trip through my VHS collection of The Midnight Hour. If you haven’t seen the movie for yourself as of yet, then you absolutely owe it to yourself to do so, and what better time than this Halloween season?! Heck, you can watch the entire movie right down below!

The 2020 Halloween Party Music UBER MEGA-MIX!

2020-10-15T23:11:00.002-04:00

Night has fallen, as have the autumn leaves

The wind whips loudly, as it travels through the wicked trees

The air is crisp, filled with the sounds of maniacal laughter

As the intensity of the Halloween season grows - it’s what we’ve all been clamouring after

Jack-O-Lanterns flicker, demons snicker, and witches lick their lips

And this can only mean one thing, you know, it’s the 2020 Halloween Party Music UBER MEGA-MIX!!

Halloween simply is not complete without filling your pointy ears with any and all Halloween and horror-centric music that one can find, and finally, after a 3 year HELLatus, I am thrilled to dust off and update my Halloween playlist! Filled with some of the best horror/Halloween songs you can imagine, you are sure to find yourself jumping up and down nonstop until the clock reaches the midnight hour on all hallows eve! So dig in, fiends, because this party is just getting started!

Hell House ‘92: A Haunted Attraction Unlike Any Other

2020-10-10T23:10:00.003-04:00

While many people across America enjoy various types of haunted attractions during the Halloween season, there is a segment of the population who enjoy a very specific type of haunt that isn’t quite the same as what most of us are used to. Of course the goal of a haunted house is to put the proverbial fear of God into their respective patrons. However, some haunts, often referred to as Hell Houses, take that idea to a more literal level.

This is best outlined by a 1992 VHS release of Hell House ‘92. Presented by Christian Retreat Family Church out of Bradenton, FL, Hell House ‘92 is essentially a hype video aimed at Christians and likely other churches looking for an alternative to the traditional Halloween haunted attraction. The term “Hell House” is a blanket term, and is best explained by the video’s unnamed host as “a Christian alternative for the traditional haunted houses at Halloween.” Before introducing a series of clips of what can be seen in this specific Hell House, the host goes on to describe the experience as “a powerful evangelism tool,” which is maybe more frightening than anything that Halloween as a holiday can throw our way.

On the surface, the footage of the Hell House plays out like any old Haunted House, featuring creepy images meant to instill fear in patrons. Where things differ here, however, are the stories and the driving forces behind these horror scenes. Instead of set pieces featuring creepy clowns and chainsaw-wielding maniacs, the mostly teen audience is subjected to scenarios featuring suicide, abortion and interestingly enough any sort of partying. Essentially, the moral of each story is simple: be good, otherwise you will fall prey to the devil and end up dead and, worse yet, burning in hell.

Throughout each set piece, patrons are led by a demonic tour guide, who continually encourages each teenager in the various scenes to do whatever awful deeds that are being depicted. Their only savior is to follow the word of God, and this all comes to a head when, during the final set piece, the viewer is subjected to a depiction of Moses discussing the importance of the Ten Commandments, which is then followed by a crucified Jesus, who makes a plea for all the patrons to not let his sacrifices go to waste. The presentation ends with the host going over the fact that after the teen patrons go through the Hell House, they can speak with counselors. Though, I feel confident that they aren’t the kind of counselors that these kids will need after experiencing such indoctrination.

The entire special only runs about 15 minutes. However, and this is noted at the finish of the presentation, there are a handful of TV news reports featured after the fact, which is actually pretty fantastic for someone who loves old news footage concerning Halloween antics, especially with the bonus of it being focused on something as insane as a Christian Hell House. Unfortunately, with this being such a niche thing, info about the video and access to it is essentially nonexistent, which is exactly why my photos in this post are of the VHS playing on my TV. There are, however, numerous clips to be found featuring similar antics, one of which I will share below to give you a taste of the pure insanity that is a Christian Hell House.

Chucktober Presents: Outdoor Halloween Decorations 2020

2020-10-07T23:54:00.007-04:00

Halloween is in full swing ’round these here parts, and with that comes the final touches to our outdoor Halloween decorations!

Much like what was done for the indoor setup, I made some of these decorations myself, and for very little money at that. A few of the standouts are the “Smell My Feet” sign, which I made by painting over an existing Dollar Tree Halloween sign as well as adding some dangling “witch feet,” which were also a repurposed Dollar Tree Halloween decoration. The other is the witch’s cauldron, wherein I made a teepee out of dowels and some crafting string, and like the indoor cauldron, made some glowing burning embers out of great stuff and battery operated LED lights. We already had the cauldron, so all in all this decoration cost very little to put together.

In any event, it was hard to capture how the decorations look on video, as they look best at night when all the spooky lights are on, so I ended up making a video collage of images that nicely captures everything in a satisfactory fashion. I’m happy with how it came out, and I hope you take a moment to check out the video for yourself. If you do, then be sure to let me know your thoughts as well as what you’ve been up to so far this Halloween season!

Full Moon VideoZone: The Original Special Feature

2020-10-03T23:46:00.001-04:00

In a time well before DVD and Blu-ray were the standard formats for cinephiles, there was the almighty VHS tape. Looked back upon with a fondness similar to that of a mother for her first born, especially for genre fans, VHS was where home cinema would truly come to fruition. It was the start of a revolution; a major evolutionary leap that continuously grows with each day that passes. Looking back at the VHS format now is a nostalgic romp, bringing many of us back to a time in our youth when hours were spent in front of a television, eyes fixated, with no more than the glow of the screen illuminating the room around us. This is a time when there was an innocence to watching movies and, in many ways, was the best time cinematically in our lives.

As much as I still love the nostalgic aspects of the VHS format, and even actively collecting it, can you imagine a world where special features didn’t exist? With the advent of DVD, Blu-ray and now UHD, cinema nerds have been filled to the gullet with multiple commentaries, trailers, behind the scenes, and anything and everything else you can think of. I doubt any one of us could fathom living without these “extras,” and it wasn’t so long ago where we settled for no more than a handful of trailers before our feature presentation (if we were lucky) after we pushed those beastly black beauties into our VCRs.

Nevertheless, before there was ever a Blu-ray disc, a DVD, or even a Laserdisc, there was Full Moon’s VideoZone. A bounce back production company that came after the fall of Empire Pictures, Full Moon Productions was the brainchild of Charles Band. Band had a clear vision for this new company: produce low-budget genre cinema with a polished look that the audience would associate with big budget productions. In keeping with the Sci-Fi, Horror and Fantasy elements found within the films that Full Moon produced, Band apparently wanted the company to have the overall feel of a comic book, which would tie into the birth of VideoZone.

Inspired by the positive response to the making-of segments that Full Moon had attached to some of their earlier films, VideoZone made its official splash in 1991 at the conclusion of a sequel that would prove to be one of the studio’s most popular flagship franchises, Puppet Master II. Occasionally introduced by Charles Band himself, each video magazine-style VideoZone featurette would come in at around 25 minutes and focused on the making of whichever film you had just watched. Filled with insightful and ambitious interviews with the cast and crew, a look at how certain makeup effects were done, and a chance to watch the film from the creative side of the lens, VideoZone was as groundbreaking as it was entertaining.

Growing up at this time, I simply loved the films that Full Moon churned out, and still very much appreciate the style of movie that the company brought to the table. However, as much as I enjoyed the features themselves, I can honestly say that the best part of any Full Moon production was the VideoZone segment. Being a kid that loved horror movies, it was quite incredible to be able to go behind-the-scenes with these featurettes. It was also something that worked as a learning tool for what would become a lifelong passion, which would be movies and the every intricate detail that goes into making them.

VideoZone played at the end of every Full Moon VHS release from 1991 to 2000, opening the door wide enough for fans to sneak a peek at how the films were brought to life. It also served as a great marketing tool for Band to hock Full Moon products and share the latest movie news, which was a brilliant way to keep Full Moon fans in the loop. Even though the innovative VideoZone is no more, the always market savvy (and maybe a tad sketchy) Band still keeps the interactive dream alive in the modern age with video blogs pimping classy cinema such as Evil Bong 3D and Gingerdead Man 3 and continuously promoting Full Moon on his social media accounts. And personally, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Chucktober Presents: Indoor Halloween Decorations 2020!

2020-10-01T00:00:00.001-04:00

It’s October 1st, which means it’s time to kick off the sickest and twistedest celebration of all, Chucktober!

A month-long celebration of all things Halloween and horror, Chucktober is guaranteed to make you shake and shiver! Though, I suppose that could just be speed wearing off, but there’s no denying the results.

After finally having finished decorating the inside of my house for Halloween, I figured the best way to kick off this season of insanity is by sharing the results with you via this handy video posted on my YouTube channel, which I just know you are already subscribed to... RIGHT?!

I’m pretty happy with how everything turned out, especially the witch’s cauldron and the spooky village, both of which were handmade by my own hands, both of which I was born with. Beat that.

I expect I’ll have the outdoor Halloween decorations finished in the next few days, and when I do, I’ll be sure to share my results with you here. Until then, please enjoy the video, and happy Chucktober, friends!

If you'd like more amazing Chucktober content, CLICK HERE!!

Halloween Happenings

2020-09-27T22:58:00.002-04:00

While some elements of the Halloween season are and will continue to be hindered by the ongoing apocalypse we are currently going through, the great thing about the season of spook is just how many fun things there really are to do. And really, when it comes to Halloween, some of the most enjoyable elements are those little things, from lighting that dusty Pumpkin Fart Dollar General candle that’s been sitting on your bookcase since last October, to the dangerously dark shit you get from eating too many Halloween Oreos.

As is the case every season, I’ve been witch’s tit deep into all things Halloween, and whether you like it or not, I’m going to share some of what I’ve been up to with you right this very second.

HallowBaby Halloween training continues...

The decorating process is still, well, in the process, but this year I decided to start creating some fun decorations of my own, which is something we hadn’t done since 2013 when I posted these two videos (Indoor Halloween Decorations Outdoor Halloween Decorations).

So far this year, with some inspiration from the Demon Queen of the Demented (better known ‘round these parts as my wife), I hand cut this Haunted village out of poster board, which as you can see will be backlit by some seriously spooky orange lights. We plan to do more with this, but this is the main theme for the mantle, and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.

We also decided to do a witch theme this year, which will be highlighted by a not-quite-started and more complex cauldron for the front/outside of the house, and a more simple cauldron for the fireplace inside the house. The inside cauldron was done by encasing a set of orange LED lights in some expanding foam sealant to create the look of burning embers, and the cauldron is simply a $1 cauldron with some green LED lights inside and some spider webbing around the edge to make it look as if a bubbling brew is boiling over. Once everything is all said and done, I plan to post a video of how it all looks.

I don’t think I need to go into detail about the state of the cinema in 2020, but while things have been pretty bleak on the multiplex front, the drive-in made a bit of a comeback this Summer, and I am lucky enough to have a couple drive-ins near me. As a result, I have been able to take in a ton of movies at the drive-in, which really kicked off at the beginning of the Summer with a viewing of Jaws. Following Jaws came some family friendly drive-in trips to see ET and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, both of which are big favorites in my household.

As cool as all that was, things really kicked into gory gear over the last month, where I was able to catch a double feature of A Nightmare on Elm Street paired up with The Lost Boys and a double feature of The Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2. It was all pretty awesome getting the opportunity to see movies that are so integral to my development as a horror fan on the big screen, and at the Drive-in no less. Hopefully they’ll keep the goodies coming throughout October.

There’s plenty more I could go over, but at this point you’ve probably begun to decay due to boredom. So with that being said, I hope you have found some nice Halloween silver linings to keep your spirits up so far this season, and if so, I’d love to hear all about it!

Salute Your Shorts: Saw Misgivings

2020-09-26T22:17:00.000-04:00

A suburban housewife mistakenly gets her head stuck in a Saw-inspired death trap while trying on old clothes in the attic earlier in the afternoon. As unfortunate as that may sound, things become worse when she learns that she cannot remove the device because her baby accidentally swallowed the only key. While the trap is a tad uncomfortable and, more importantly, could possibly rip her head open at any given moment, her biggest concern is getting dinner ready for her judgmental in-laws, who are due to arrive sooner than she expected.

Directed and produced by David Lilley and written by Mark O'Connell, Saw Misgivings is 7 minute short film that takes a very humorous look at the II headaches that would come as a result of having to wear a Jigsaw inspired death mask while performing the day-to-day tasks of the stereotypical average housewife. How would such a device hamper normal undertakings such as going shopping, drinking coffee, showering, and other various daily tasks? Worse yet, how is she even supposed to get this thing off without digging into her baby’s belly for the key? Worse worse yet, how long does she have until the thing goes off?!

As a whole, Saw Misgivings is a rock solid and humorous tribute to the Saw franchise, successfully lampooning the iconic traps as well as the kinetic style found in the series. All of the jokes perfectly hit their mark, which is certainly the biggest challenge with a short, no-budget film like this, and the performances by stars Vicky Album and Steve McNeil are spot on. Whether or not you are a fan of the Saw films, you will certainly enjoy this brilliant little short, so please take a moment and check it out below, then let me know what you think afterwards!

PS - Be sure to keep watching after the credits!

Awful Staind Song Lyrics Blog Post Title

2020-09-26T09:41:00.012-04:00

Why hello there, old friend, how’s it going? It’s been a minute. And by minute, I mean 1,533,186 minutes. Crazy, right? Having something that I did for so many years, and so passionately at that, completely slip away and get lost in the shuffle that is life. But that’s how life works, I suppose, but the cool thing about life is you have at least some control over what you do with it, and it was only a matter of time before I’d get the itch to pick up the proverbial pen and pad and get to doing… something… again, What that is, I only sort of know, but one thing I do know is that my typing has gone to shit, and I miss the hell out of writing nonsense for my millions of fans across the globe.

*pause for standing o*

*pause for second standing o*

This whole idea of getting the blog going again is extremely fresh, but I would love to revisit some old segments, do the occasional review and talk about whatever happens to tickle my pickle at any given moment. I know for sure that I will be sharing some old content from other websites that have gone belly up over the years. I’m sentimental (vain) and would hate to see shit I’ve spent time writing completely disappear from the internet, and some of it is pretty good (vain), so I will be sharing it all here on CNAMB.

Of course, one thing that always gives me nostalgia for this ol’ dump (and something that makes me feel extremely sad for being so neglective) is the Halloween season.

For 9 years, NINE YEARS, Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, and the one-time annual celebration known as Chucktober, was a huge part of my Halloween season, working as a sort of cathartic place to spew all my love for Halloween and everything it means to me. I miss it. And I regret the fact that, regardless of not being prolific like I once was, I let Chucktober slide for 2 years without posting a single thing I had shit to say; I had shit to share; but hell, as much as I could dwell on that fact, what matters most is I am here for you now, ready to provide to you... maybe a few posts.

Hey, I don't want to get ahead of myself here.

With all that bs aside, I look forward to getting back into the swing of things in any sort of capacity. With how absolutely insane and weird and depressing and annoying the world has become since I last posted here, the one thing that hasn’t changed for myself, and I assume many of you, is the importance of the things that we all love. Media in all forms is more important than ever, and sharing our love for what we love is as good a coping mechanism as one can get. It’s ours, and it always will be ours, no matter what insanity the world decides to toss at us at any given moment.

The 2017 Halloween Party Music UBER MEGA-MIX!

2017-10-27T23:24:00.002-04:00

As darkness and despair begin to fill the Autumn air

A feeling of excitement overcomes with little else that can compare

The world feels a little darker, a little colder, a little grimmer

As the sounds begin to pulsate up and through your bones causing them to shake and shiver

There’s only so much one can do - there is no easy way to resist

As the speakers boom and blare the sickest sounds - it always brings out the most wickedest

The vampires dance, the witches cackle and the mummy throws a drunken fit

That can only mean one thing you know, it's The 2017 Halloween Party Music UBER MEGA-MIX!!

Regardless of the lack of time I have to post this Chucktober, no sick and Twiztid Halloween would be complete without my hand-crafted, sick and Twiztid Halloween Party Music UBER MEGA-MIX!! As is the case every year, I made a few minor adjustments to the order and added a few songs to expand upon the leanest Halloween playlist that one can find. This is all thriller, plenty of killer and most definitely no filter, so put on your dancing shoes (but please wear socks, ‘cause yo feet rank), because it's time to get this UBER MEGA party started!

Spooky World (1994) A Video Visit to America’s Horror Themepark

2017-10-10T11:16:00.000-04:00

Opening its doors to the public back in 1991, Spooky World is a Halloween horror theme park originally based out of Berlin, Massachusetts. Anyone who was lucky enough to visit this large-scale haunted attraction was subjected to what can only be described as a horror and/or Halloween fan’s dream, or should I say nightmare come true.

I’m originally from MA, so i was fortunate enough to make it to Spooky World with a couple of friends sometime towards the end of it’s run at the Berlin location (the park would relocate to Gillette stadium in 1998). Needless to say, as a lifelong fan of horror as well as being completely obsessed with Halloween, it was everything I had imagined and more.

This was probably about 20 years ago now, and while my memory of the experience is a tad fuzzy, I’ll never forget the overwhelming feeling of joy that came with being able to visit such a massive haunted attraction. It was my Disney World. Thankfully, however, with the help of a video tour VHS that Spooky World released in 1994, I can relive that joyous experience wherever I so choose.

Spooky World: A Video Visit to America’s Horror Themepark features some interesting horror talent behind the scenes. This 23 minute video tour was directed by horror/cult filmmaker Ted V. Mikels and produced by special effects legend Tom Savini. But the horror cred doesn’t end there, as this video is narrated by Jason Voorhees himself, Kane Hodder, who guides viewers on a behind the scenes look at what you can expect to find when visiting Spooky World.

During the brief runtime, the video features a live performance of the Halloween party classic, The Monster Mash, by Bobby “Boris” Pickett, something that was a staple of the theme park. From there the video moves onto the infamous haunted hayride, giving viewers a brief look at some of the insane set pieces, which includes decapitations, electrocutions and even a Troma-inspired section featuring everyone’s favorite Tromaville super hero, The Toxic Avenger.

Following the hayride, the video proceeds to give a short tour of Tom Savini’s haunted house, which is really nothing more than your typical indoor haunt. That’s not to say the haunt doesn't kick all sorts of ass, but having a name such as Savini’s attached to a haunt, the expectations are extremely high. These were my feelings when I went to Spooky World as well; I fully expected a gorefest of Romero proportions, but the haunted house was nothing more than what you would find at any number of haunted attractions. Surprisingly, the haunted hayride delivers the gory and violent goods in a way that Savini’s should have.

That’s pretty much the meat and taters of Spooky World: A Video Visit to America’s Horror Themepark. However, I’d be hard pressed not to mention one of my favorite elements of this video, and that is the absolutely awesome animations featured throughout. We’re talking the mid-90s here, and the animations totally have the look of something you’d see in a hokey video game cutscene. It fits in so well with the entire package, and this is especially due to the fact that the package comes wrapped in the form of a video tape.

While it’s marketed as a video visit, and it is that, Spooky World: A Video Visit to America’s Horror Themepark is most certainly a commercial for Spooky World, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it’s a pretty awesome thing. While this incarnation of Spooky World is no more, this video visit still lives on to remind us of how cool of a place Spooky World was while also working as a nostalgia trigger due to the retro nature of the content and format it was released on.

You don’t have to be bound by a VCR to check out this video visit for yourself, as you can give it a watch via the embedded video below. It’s only 23 minutes and certainly worth your time if you’d like a trip down memory lane, even if it’s not a memory you even have.

Chucktober 9!

2017-10-01T23:23:00.001-04:00

Oh, hey there. It’s been awhile. In fact, it’s been almost a year. I don’t feel like dwelling on the lack of content on this here ol’ blog over the past year, as it really all comes down to time, which I have very little of. But hey, I’m here now, and that’s all that really matters. Right? RIGHT?!! Don’t give me that look…

I honestly don’t really have any plans for what I’m going to do here during this fine month of Chucktober. Normally I would have a ton of stuff all prepped and ready to rock and roll your black little soul. But that’s simply not the case this year. However, regardless of not having anything planned, and regardless of not knowing what kind of content I’ll be doing, let alone how much I’ll actually be putting out, I simply cannot ignore the fact that it is my favorite time of the year, and Chucktober plays a fairly sizable part in that. Needless to say, I simply cannot let the month slide by without trying to do whatever I can to get some sort of content up, as minimal as it may very well be, as Chucktober has been a part of my Halloween celebration for 9 years now.

Anyway, seeing as it is indeed the season of scary, I figured I’d share a few photos of the Halloween happenings that have been going down in my life.

You may be familiar with Hallowbaby aka my baby, who is not much of a baby these days. In fact, just today when I asked her how she felt about being Hallowbaby, she was quick to inform me that she is not Hallowbaby, she is HallowBigGirl. Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. In any event, here are a few photos of Hallowwhatever enjoying a day of pumpkin picking and overall Halloween fun.

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I just recently picked up VHS copies of The Official Eddie Spuhghetti Halloween Companion Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 courtesy of Here Lies. To give you a quick history of these companions, each tape is meant to play out like a 6 hour block of Halloween-inspired television, complete with movies, Halloween specials, TV episodes, and kick-ass, retro Halloween/horror-centric commercials.

Vol. 1 is now completely sold out, but there are a few copies of Vol. 2 left if you still rock a VCR and have a hankering for Halloween. Just hit up OSI 74 to grab yourself a copy before it’s too late.

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Lastly, we finally got some decorating done outside. I went heavy on the spider webs, which I know I’ll regret come November. The lights at the top actually flicker. Because they’re spooky. They can also make exaggerated, Frankenstein electricity sounds if I so please, which is pretty cool. There is still more work to do, but I’m happy with what we have done so far.

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So for now I shall bid you farewell. As previously mentioned, I don’t know how much you’re going to see from me, but if I didn’t post anything at all, I would feel really sad. But sad I won’t be, because it is indeed Chucktober, so lets kick this party off on the FRIGHT foot!

My Favorite Halloween-themed VHS Tapes!

2016-10-30T22:58:00.001-04:00

It’s been many years since I have done anything Dumpster Diving for Gold related, but that doesn’t mean I’m not always out looking for a good deal. Be it on the internet or in the dreaded real world, I am still hunting hard for deals on VHS tapes, Blu-rays and the occasional DVD. Seeing as it is indeed the season of scary, on top of the fact that I have a sizable VHS collection of Halloween-set films and television specials, I thought it would be fun to share with all two, maybe three of you some of my very favorite Halloween-themed VHS tapes!

The Midnight Hour (1985)

Originally airing on ABC in 1985, The Midnight Hour is one of the very best Halloween movies and certainly a favorite of mine. I’m lucky enough to own three VHS copies of The Midnight Hour: the Anchor Bay clam, a German release and a sealed Vidmark screener. If you haven’t seen this one, and are even remotely into Halloween, then you need to get on that joint ASAP!

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Hack-O-Lantern AKA Halloween Night (1988)

Two names, two releases, one film, Hack-O-Lantern was released by Legacy Entertainment under the Hack-O-Lantern title in 1988. In 1990, the film was released by Atlas Entertainment Corps under the title Halloween Night. Both releases are quite hard to come by, especially Halloween Night, so owning these two tapes makes me want to throw up a set of awkward grandpa devil horns.

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HauntedWeen (1991)

While I adore all of the tapes featured in this post, I would have to say my favorites have to be these two copies of HauntedWeen. Self-distributed under the one-and-done label Consumer Video Distributors, HauntedWeen was a long-time holy grail tape for me, so to own not only one copy, but TWO copies is pretty rad. Furthermore, as you can see from the image, one of my copies was signed by director Doug Robertson, while the other copy is factory sealed, making things all the more rad.

REVIEW OF HAUNTEDWEEN

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Hollow Gate (1988)

Both of these copies of the supremely silly and equally entertaining Halloween-set Slasher flick, Hollow Gate, were released by City Lights Home Video in 1988. As expressed in my review from a few Chucktobers ago (link below!), I have a HUGE soft spot for this movie, and owning both of these VHS releases makes me so happy that I would almost consider not drinking alone in the kitchen while my pussy son embarrasses me with his lack of apple bobbing skills.

REVIEW OF HOLLOW GATE

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Halloween (1978)

Seeing as Halloween is my all time favorite horror film, this final Halloween-related VHS tape holds a very special place in my heart. It’s also a bit of a conflicting one, as the slipcover of my copy is the 1979 MEDIA release – which is the second ever official VHS release of John Carpenter’s masterpiece – whereas the actual tape itself is the original (also 1979) MEDA VHS release.

Both releases are hard to come by, but the MEDA VHS is definitely the rarer of the two. Both the MEDIA and MEDA releases are longtime holy grail tapes for me, so sort of having both is pretty cool, but it’ll be a lot cooler when I actually own the MEDIA tape and MEDA slip to complete the Halloween package. Who knows when that’ll ever happen, but the hunt for such things is always a huge part of the fun!

SlashDance: Nightmare City (1980)

2016-10-27T12:25:00.001-04:00

There was a time in the ‘80s where aerobics was so popular that the fashion and rhythmic aerobic moves integrated itself into anything and everything one could imagine. Naturally, this would eventually lead to aerobics making its way to film, specifically the horror genre. While there are plenty of examples of aerobics in horror (Death Spa, Aerobicide, Murder Rock, Slash Dance, etc), one of the most memorable comes from a small but incredible dance scene in Umberto Lenzi’s pseudo-zombie opus Nightmare City.

This scene in question takes place in a television studio, where a number of beautiful women adorned in powder blue leotards ~~erotically~~ erratically dance in a fashion that, despite their best efforts, lacks any sort of synchronization. I would assume the standards would be higher for TV, but then again, the fact that people actually watch a show where women wearing blue spandex perform aerobic inspired dance moves on a set designed by Milton Bradley only proves that people will watch anything. Considering that shows like MTV’s The Grind actually existed, I probably should have never even questioned it.

In any event, the song used for this moment is titled Sustain, and is provided by legendary Italian composer Stelvio Cipriani. The tune is gleefully upbeat in a fashion that makes one want to put on a pair of roller skates and glide through the streets of 1980’s New York while eating an ice cream cone. Of course, a bunch of nice looking ladies in blue onesies is innocent enough, therefore the song is quite fitting; however, things take a frightening turn when the dead body of one of the aerobiciders (that’s a fake word… feel free to use it) is discovered. At this point all hell breaks loose, as a gang of radioactively infected zombies come bursting into the studio, violently attacking everyone in sight and in a variety of grisly ways.

This scene works for a number of reasons, the main one being the fact that it’s so completely ridiculous. Regardless, it has a way of tapping into a fear; a fear of being overwhelmed by madness without any warning; a fear of being suddenly vulnerable in a place that should be safe, which in this case is at work. Sure, the “infected” are wearing bad suits and their makeup looks like puked up breakfast cereal smeared on their faces, but the dance sequence and subsequent attack scene are a highlight of a film that, despite my enjoyment, is a little uneventful.

Bad Trick or Treat Ideas: Leaving Your Lights on and Not Answering the Door

2016-10-24T22:29:00.001-04:00

Of all the many egregiously awful things one can do to a child on Halloween night, none is worse than leaving your front porch light on and not actually answering the door. Like, at what point in your day did you think to yourself, “hey, fuck Halloween and making kids happy with delicious treats, let’s skip it this year. In fact, let’s not only skip it, we’ll go ahead and leave the lights on so those little bastards think we are actually passing out candy!”

Listen, every single second of Halloween night is precious, and the fact that you are wasting a solid 3 minutes of a child’s time by tricking them into coming to your house, for no reason at all, when they could be at the “cool” house, makes you a turd of the worst kind. For your sins, I hope you suffer the worst that Halloween has to offer, including but not limited to: your house being toilet papered, egged, peed on, and burned down to the ground. With you in it.

Salute Your Shorts: The Closet (2014)

2016-10-20T12:51:00.001-04:00

After spending yet another Halloween night all alone, a young girl (Marlena-Marie Grubl) begins having vivid nightmares. When she awakens and hears noises coming from her closet, she fears that something may be out to get her.

Written and directed by Michael Winiecki, The Closet is quite short – coming in at about 4 minutes minus credits – and simple, focused on little more than a girl hanging out in her bedroom on Halloween night. While being simplistic in terms of narrative, the film succeeds through solid execution, conveying a level of professionalism that is always welcome with these types of short movies.

A notable element of The Closet comes from the ‘80s gothic punk tone it gives off. This comes through most obviously with the music choices and both the costume and set design. With her slightly pale makeup and penchant for striped clothing, the lead character, who is credited as “Goth Girl,” has a look that would indicate she's into Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus and other bands of that nature. Plus the fact that her bedroom is adorned with punk band posters certainly cements the style of character the filmmakers were going for.

The gothic overtones – which vibe in a fashion similar to A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night – adds a lot to the success of the short on a personal level. It makes the short feel as if it defies a specific time period. And that, mixed with strong camerawork, editing and sound design, make The Closet an enjoyable, albeit brief, Halloween treat that is more than worthy of your evening.

The 2016 Halloween Party Music UBER MEGA-MIX!

2016-10-16T20:55:00.001-04:00

The darkest clouds are up ahead, as the season of sorrow hangs overhead.

The spookiest sounds pulsate oh so light, but grow they will throughout the night.

The skeletons dance with little care, as witches cackle and let loose their hair.

Listen closely my little dear, as the sounds of THE 2016 HALLOWEEN PARTY MUSIC UBER MEGA-MIX IS HERE!!!

It simply wouldn't be Halloween without my yearly hand-curated Halloween party music playlist. Well, I guess it would be Halloween, but it would be a whole lot less uber, and that's really just not, uh, uber.

Anyway, as I do every Halloween season, I've made some minor tweaks to the playlist, adding a few new tunes, changed the order, etc. Basically doing whatever it takes to make this the only Halloween party playlist you, your friends and your family will ever need. You're welcome.

Jump on in, kiddies, because the water is warm! With pee.