What do I mean by making a point? It’s rather simple – when something is wrong, I expect my server to make it right. For example, if a server messes my order up, the path to making things right requires two steps. First, bring out what I ordered. Second, offer a apology – perhaps with a free round of drinks. If neither consideration is made without my prompting, I kindly suggest that they are offered. Another example: if delay exists in giving me my initial service or taking my order, a quick “be right with you” from a waitress suffices, followed by a short wait. If they don’t, I’ll let her know that my meal is off to a bad start.

Bad service likes to rear its head out often; good service, on the other hand tends to hide in the bushes. Good service for me can come in a couple ways. If the establishment is high class, it means you don’t exist, in a good way. For instance, the server takes my order effortlessly leaving my conversation to continue unabated. Water glasses are filled without notice, and wine is poured before I realize I am on my last sip. If the establishment has a light, relaxed atmosphere, perhaps the waiter engages in harmless banter. His advice on what to order is not forced but genuine – the service is attentive yet not overbearing. Perhaps he offers a timely drink refill or checks in to make sure that the food was to my liking. These little things can make the difference from turning “just another meal” into an amazing evening.

Some of you may ask why I care so much about defining good and bad service – it’s simple, good service equals respect. Respect is extremely important. I must respect you and you must respect me. Without respect the service for me will be bad, the server will get a bad tip. A number of folks I know argue that because of the way the American service industry operates, tipping less than 20% (or 15% or 25%, depending) is taking money from the server. I don’t see it that way. Because of the way the American service industry operates, the server knows the rules. If a server chooses not to play by the rules (e.g. give excellent service) then they understand the consequences (lesser tip).  And if he doesn’t like to play by the rules, then so be it – get a different job.

Good service is important – companies, like Apple are showing more and more that they understand the importance of  service. 37 signals follows its mantra to return support requests in 24 hours. Comcast has learned the hard way that it has to give good service in order to retain its customers. But few restaurants, at least in my experience, demonstrate that they know that service is important. That’s why when I see places like Spoon Pittsburgh demonstrating it cares when a customer feels he received inadequate service by offering a free round, I am pleasantly surprised. Service is what differentiates the companies that will succeed from those that will just make due or fail. It isn’t just about quality of the food, but about respect from the waiter.

When I first saw Julia she was the quiet girl standing by the wall looking at her feet. Being curious about the apparent uniqueness of her foot apparel, I decided I needed to learn why it she thought her shoes deserved such intense study and meander over and inquire. The pick-up line that I got the attention of the girl I am marrying was “What’s so interesting about your feet?”

She had gotten her toe-nails her painted for the party. Thank God she did because those nails started a conversation that led to a relationship that changed my life.

Though we were separated by many miles and different in many ways, Julia taught me more about myself, my friends and my family than any other  person. From the wonder of art to the joys of gardening and the benefits of communicating well Julia and I continue to grow together.

Life always creates challenges. Our relationship comes with many challenges, but just as many rewards. The companion, the shoulder to sleep on, the ear to listen and the skills to compliment.

As we begin our journey through life together – in a new city, with new knowledge – I am excited, anxious, cautious and but willing to embark on a whole new adventure. Together we will make new friends, build stronger bonds, welcome new life into this world, help others and be helped.

Today, the I becomes We. Today, I am marrying the girl of my dreams.

It all begins with familiarity. Becoming familiar with someone online is a great way to introduce yourself. Just like Ariana Green/“How to Make Your Network Work for You” said, “The true benefit is that it often leads to in-person contact because people feel more comfortable initiating a meeting with someone they “know” electronically.” Some people naturally are open and inviting, putting others at ease upon the first meeting. Opening up and sharing opinions regardless. Others ease into it and then still timidly speak up only after some time.  Becoming familiar with someone takes time. A two minute conversation at a networking event doesn’t do it. A thirty second elevator pitch doesn’t do it. A conversation over twitter, a comment on a blog or sharing someone’s content on facebook doesn’t do it, but it sure helps.

What if, rather than that thirty seconds in the elevator being the first time you meet someone it is the first time you meet someone in real life. You already know what matters to them, what projects are most important and how you can help. You’ve already become familiar with someone online.

Julia, my fiance, has had this happen to her on multiple occasions. She reluctantly took up twitter when she began her Masters of Arts Management program at the Heinz College at Carnegie Mellon. Eventually she found her stride, tweeting about the arts, adding commentary and sharing important articles and events in the art world (which is bigger in Pittsburgh than most people think).  Fast forward a couple of months and she’s sitting in the office of a local arts council part of a small group introducing themselves and when it comes to her, the director says, “Oh yes, Julia. It’s like I already know you since I’ve been following you on twitter for months.” Instant credibility.

These tools get you in the door, build your credibility and your brand. That’s not it thought.

My job means I am not in Pittsburgh on a daily basis. Despite my best intentions this hampers my ability to meet new people or deepen my relationships with people in Pittsburgh. Ed Barr, a good friend and professor of mine uses facebook and blogs. He keeps the world abreast with what’s important to him. Because of this, I am able to avoid the awkward monthly or quarterly “what are you doing?” emails. Instead, I pass valuable information on to him when he needs it, be it something I know would help him or a different perspective to a problem he has. Now I don’t have to write the emails that feel forced. Instead, I can write the emails I like – “here’s how I can help you.”

These personal examples are just two of many. But they’re stories I don’t think people tell enough. Social networking is personal. It isn’t someone standing in the corner tweeting, it’s tweeting and reading, taking in, and using that knowledge to contribute more in person.

You never know, perhaps a random meeting won’t be so random and it’ll change your life, just ask Colin Wright/”Meeting Miss Amber Rae“. “A girl I barely knew – scratch that, had never met in person and exchanged a few emails and one Skype call with almost half a year previous… led to meeting Seth Godin.”

During the summer before I started college, my family and I took eight days to raft through the Grand Canyon. Our guide was a rough, seasoned river-man. Being the youngest person on the trip, I would frequently ask if I could jump into the river or off a small cliff, to which he always just smiled with a slight nod. Whenever it didn’t turn out the way I pictured in my head he would laugh and say, “If you’re going to be stupid, you’ve got to be tough.”

This memory came to mind multiple times throughout the talks at TEDxCMU, the theme of which was fearless. Jonathan Fields, an attorney turned lifestyle entrepreneur, opened up the day recounting his experience of signing a six-year lease of prime commercial space in New York City on 9/10/01. Of course, he was anything but fearless, but he went on to share some of the most valuable advice offered that day.

Everyone can picture the worst-case scenario of failure, but those rarely come true and are paralyzing(what’s paralyzing?). So instead of allowing the crazy downward spiral picture take over your mind, answer three questions with realistic scenarios: What if I fail (and recover)? What if I do nothing (remembering there is no sideways in life)? What if I succeed (and can’t meet the demand)? The answers to these questions force you to challenge the status quo — a common theme of speakers throughout the day.

Nathan Martin, the CEO of deepLocal, took to the stage in the afternoon. His path to TEDxCMU, like Fields, took him from one opportunity to the next, never knowing what was to come. A Bachelor and Master in Fine Arts, Martin spoke about how motivating his punk-rock band prepared him to found deepLocal.

Every employee acts as their own entrepreneur and is encouraged to come up with new ideas. The constraints Martin imposes on his team forces them to face their fear of failure — he has had to do this many times as only 2 of the 16 of the products deepLocal have produced have taken off. To enable this “fail-fast” mentality, deepLocal works on two week sprints: the team works on the core piece of the project for two weeks and makes a decision on where it should go — to the trash or to work on creating the next functionality? This time limit is only one piece of deepLocal’s attitude: everyone should “think like an amateur, not an expert.” Blinding focus is bad — amateurs don’t know what they don’t know. Living in a technical world is also bad, and just because the technology means it can work one way doesn’t mean you have to use technology. In other words, Martin believes that every problem should be solved with the least amount of technology.

I had an opportunity to speak with both Martin and Fields during the breaks at the conference. What struck me about both of them was how similar their paths were. While Fields was an attorney and Martin was an artist, they both understand and appreciate that they didn’t know what they wanted to do. Each opportunity is just another learning phase and is part of moving forward in life. In fact, Fields’ comments (paraphrased) really struck home: It’s good to not know what you want, but it’s not good to know you want a change and do nothing. Use every step as an opportunity to learn, not doing so is just letting your fears control you.

As High School seniors what do you think we put our faith in everyday?

For me, much to my parents’ chagrin, I put a lot of faith in my memory in order to escape the last  hour of studying.  I have faith I’m going to have time in English to do my Spanish homework, and most importantly; I have a faith that every day  traffic is going to be lighter so I can sleep in.

But where does faith in God fit?

Unfortunately it isn’t high on the pecking order, at first glance.  People pray and hope their lives will improve and things will happen. If you’ve seen “Bruce Almighty” you know how things end if we get what we want – chaos. Everyone has conflicting prayers.

What do I want?

Right now I want a nice car.  I want to go to college and have a great time. I want to learn all that I can.  Tomorrow I will want something different; I may want a bagel.  But what we want now is of little consequence.

What is of consequence is that we put our trust in God.  We trust that in twenty years the things that matter, the friendships that we choose and experiences that we have had in our high school and college lives, give us what is really important later in life.

Having faith in God in the present is key, that is what keeps me knowing that everything that I have done, every test I have failed, whether it be in Spanish or in dealing with my friends and mentors, was failed for a reason.  Faith in God today reminds me that tomorrow my hardships and sweat will become the experiences I rely on and the tears of joy in looking back at a meaningful life.

Writing is important. It is so important that my employer spends millions of dollars each year contracting PhDs to train its technologists to write well through college level writing courses. The question is, aside from the quick email or 140 character tweet, how often do we write and should we write more?

I was brought up in a home that felt writing was essential. Growing up I was encouraged to read any book just to get exposed to well written prose. At times finding the desire to read was difficult, but if I read the first 100 pages of a book that my dad suggested, I normally could not put it down. This was the case with Ender’s Game and Shogun – two of my favorites. When I rebelled and wouldn’t read the first 100, I was tasked with writing. My dad’s aim was to get me to do one of the two things to improve my writing: reading and writing. Now, I look back and wish I had done more of both (this site is part of my strategy to make up for lost time).

As I continue to research successful people to meet my “productivity p0rn” addiction, I’ve come across people in different industries and different roles who write frequently and well. Joel Spolsky, Fred Wilson, Paul Graham are just the people that write the blogs that I frequent. We can’t forget Warren Buffet‘s annual must-read letter to shareholders. Writing well alone does not cause one to be successful, it doesn’t hurt.

Some years ago, Paul Graham wrote an essay on essays. In it he described the essay as a journey to find the answer to a profound question. The easiest way to describe this is to think of the last time you had a wonderful idea in your head, but when you attempted to write it down it raveled apart. You were writing an essay. You were attempting to poke holes in your own ideas and get them on paper so they could become more concrete. In Chip and Dan Heath’s Made to Stick, they discuss how stories that are simple and concise “stick” – you remember them easily. A complicated, poorly written idea may be a new billion dollar market, but without being able to accurately communicate your idea and get to the point, no one will listen or remember.

Even the folks at 37signals who are against everything traditional about business feel that writing a plan is important – they advise you to write it and forget it but at least they recognize the value in writing down your plan. Writing forces us to think through our ideas. It causes us to refine, process and communicate what is important to us.

While writing may be losing it’s appeal, it is also becoming increasingly important. By writing and writing well, you distinguish yourself as an accomplished individual. You can articulate and prove your idea for the billion dollar business.

So, write a letter, a poem or just edit an email before you send it – write and refine. Ed Barr, a terrific professor at Carnegie Mellon, has 7 easy steps you can follow. If you don’t want to write, read – I have some suggestions of great books for you to get started with.

Writing is an art form that should not be left to the artists.

Note: Be sure to check out all of my writing, and please comment and engage. I write here, tumblr, twitter (some may call it writing), and for StartupPittsburgh. For some reading suggestions you can peruse my reviews of books I have read under the book tag on tumblr. Also feel free to write me an email or better yet a letter – I may be obliged to return the favor.

In his book The Architecture of Happiness, Alain de Botton argues that people surround themselves in their ideal image, not a true reflection of themselves. “In 1575, the city of Venice diminished the artist Paolo Veronese to pain a new ceiling for the great hall in the Doe’s Palace… To judge from the ceiling there was little that was not just and peaceful, meet and faithful, about the Venetian Republic.” Venice was anything but peaceful and fair. Rather, Venice was a central slave trade city and frequently enacted war in a spite of revenge. While Botton uses an extreme example about architecture, the theories and ideas correspond and overflow into what we surround ourselves with. Our environment reminds us of what we want to be – encouraging us to move toward this ideal.

To me minimalism creates an environment similar to that of a blank sheet of paper. The possibilities are endless. Coming into a home that is uncluttered and clean is inviting and welcoming. Thinking of the opposite, coming into a home that is cluttered and disorganized, conjures feelings of tired entrapment. When I allow this state to creep up on me and I enter my office, I am immediately discouraged, slouching and tired. Alternatively, when I enter my office to a clear, open desk I am energized and ready to work. I can conquer the world.

Some argue that my thought of minimalism being about order, balance and “unclutteredness” as much as removing the unnecessary is not true to the word or philosophy. By just removing what you have, disregarding everything else, you do become what people fear–living like a monk. For some that is exactly what they want and need. It is not for me. I love my things, my gadgets, my furniture, my tools. I love my things even more when I find multiple needs for them. Even more, I love it when something’s useful life passes and I discard it.

This is not to say that I only buy things that are multi-functioned. Rather living with less forces me to answer the question, “What is this really for and do I need it?” This is the cusp of my minimalism.

While living in a one bedroom apartment, my girlfriend (now my fiancee) and I began a gradual shift to a more minimal lifestyle out of necessity. Our apartment was small and cluttered, which we did not appreciate. Now having moved into a three bedroom house we love how our things can easily and neatly fit in their place. The proverb of our house is: everything has a place and everything is in its place. As time has progressed and we make our regular trips to Home Depot, Bed Bath & Beyond and Target, more and more things that would never have been considered before, because of lack of space, are “necessities”. “We really need a lemon juicer,” she frequently laments. My response is normally along the lines of, “How do make lemon juice now, because I certainly enjoy it?” “Well, I…” You can picture where this conversation goes.

Minimalism is more than just removing the redundant and excessive. It is clearing your space in order to free your mind. I don’t lose sleep over the fact that I may one day buy a lemon juicer, but I fear that step might snowball to the point where I will step into the kitchen and expect to have the tool to open a banana. When I cannot find it I will forego my delicious snack.

Update: Leo Babauta wrote an interesting piece on the “logical extension” of minimalism . While I think he is a great resource to get into and read about minimalism – he is wrong on his points for extending minimalism. You can read my thoughts about his comments on tumblr.

While growing up outside of Washington, D.C. I never thought about Pittsburgh, let alone thought about living in Pittsburgh. In fact, while I studied at Allegheny College I had ambitions to live and work in DC. That changed when the opportunity to attend graduate school at Carnegie Mellon presented itself. Living in the city during a “safe” period of my life (school) gave me the insight I needed to figure out that I wanted to stick around.

Pittsburgh is such a diverse and wonderful place. I’ve lived in Squirrel Hill, Shadyside and just bought a house in East Liberty. I believe in the East End and look forward to seeing the city, and East Liberty thrive. What is going to make that happen are people like Ethan “Rooster” Clay the enterprising entrepreneur behind Oh, Yeah and Eve Picker the owner/architect/editor behind we do property and Pop City Media.

With all of the neighborhoods, Pittsburgh truly has a small town feel. The restaurants and coffee shops treat their customers as their neighbors, not just another way to make a profit. Case in point, all of the local restaurants like Murray Ave Grill. I spent many evenings there with friends and grabbing a quick bite for myself. Never once was I not greeted by name as I entered – and I heard plenty of other names, in fact the manager knew most of the patrons.

Each neighborhood has a different feel, offering everything from the urban adventure in the Strip District to the cultural events of Downtown and huge parks in Regent Square. The extensive park system and low cost of living made the decision to stay in Pittsburgh easy.

The key was the accessibility, beauty and potential Pittsburgh holds. Of course neighborhoods like Lawrenceville and East Liberty have been “up and coming” for years, but development doesn’t happen over night and I see the fruit of the civic leader’s labor more everyday. But, these neighborhoods aren‚Äôt the only one‚Äôs on the move. Mt Washington has always had the view, but now is continuing to grow. The Hill District is being completely transformed by Consol Energy Arena and despite a few recent hiccups, the North Side is a variable hot spot highlighted by the Mattress Factory.

Green energy has been highlighted by the press and honored by President Obama, but what draws my attention to the city are the efforts of organizations like the Mattress Factory and the Carnegie Museums. Their efforts at promoting the city reap rewards that will drive more talent to the city.

While I was determining what career path I wanted to make, and where I wanted to make my mark I was reminded by a mentor that Pittsburgh is a technology hub. deepLocal, MobileFusion, Resumator and the AlphaLab grads are testimonials to the innovation taking place in the city. All of this despite the hurdles they face.

Pittsburgh grabbed my attention because of the vibrant neighborhoods and low cost of living. Every day, thanks to organization like Pop City and the amazing blogging community I am reminded of why I choose to stay in Pittsburgh and encourage my colleagues and friends to do the same.

This led me to wonder how my brother and sister-in-law are going to broach the subject, particularly since they work so hard to have equality in managing their kids’ lives and schedules and the kids are both under two. When one’s cell phone number is the “home” number it would be the first to be called – and thus lead to more requests and responsibility falling on that partner. One solution can be GrandCentral (soon to be Google Voice.) This central number rings both phones solving the problem but doesn’t require a home phone (of course, when the kids want to start talking to their friends it is a different matter entirely.) Google is vying to be the bridge between the necessity of having a home phone and living a purely mobile life.

Another great use of GrandCentral is that you can move without having to get a new number. This was my intent with getting my GrandCentral number – the plan was to share the 412 (GrandCentral) number with new colleagues and yet still be able to keep my 703 (cell phone) number. No need for Pittsburghers to think I am a transient sole and no need to change my phone number. Obviously the purpose of GrandCentral was not to solve my problem, so there were gaps and holes that, despite being an early adopter I couldn’t live with such as the lack of SMS (looking forward to upgrading for SMS.)

These are great things to use GrandCentral for now, but what interests me more is to see how Google is going to use Voice later. Google said that rather than launching hundreds of products that lack any coherent strategy they are working to integrate all of their products. This isn’t anything new, businesses have been integrating and streamlining since IT began.  What I believe is Google will continued the trend of trickling down enterprise solutions to the consumer market.

Business technology always evolves down to the consumer, phones, Internet, email, PDAs all have “trickled” down to the consumer after wide adoption in the enterprise. We can see this happening more and more with PDAs being targeted to the consumer, starting with the Blackberry “non-numbered” series such as the Pearl, Curve and then Storm. It continued with the iPhone, Palm Centreno, and soon the Palm Pre. One technology that is taking hold in the workplace is the integration of VoIP, email and all communications. Voicemails come up in email, automatic forwarding to PDAs, easier conference calling, etc.

I believe that is what Google is trying to do with Google Voice. It was not the goal of GrandCentral, but in Google’s typical fashion they reworked the solution from the ground up and are re-introducing it to solve a different problem based on the same technology. Google Voice will integrate email, voice, SMS and IM. If you ascribe to this belief then Google moving into mobile phones with Android makes even more sense. Google uses their products to promote each other and show advertising, I do not believe that we’ll be hearing a “brought to you by Google” message while making calls, but if GMail and Voice integrate the transcribed Voicemail  we will be ads ads right next to the transcripts of our voice mail.

Where do you think Google is going to take Voice?