Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Is It Vegan? Pepperidge Farm "Chef's Collection Deli Swirl Rye & Pump" Bread

2013-01-29T12:38:00.001-05:00

“In the arts of life man invents nothing; but in the arts of death he outdoes Nature herself, and produces by chemistry and machinery all the slaughter of plague, pestilence, and famine.”

- George Bernard Shaw

May your day be filled with bright blue skies, puffy white clouds, and content of the heart my friend!

MADE FROM: UNBROMATED UNBLEACHED

ENRICHED WHEAT FLOUR (FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED

IRON, THIAMINE MONONITRATE (VITAMIN B1),

RIBOFLAVIN (VITAMIN B2), FOLIC ACID), WATER, RYE

FLOUR, WHEAT GLUTEN, RYE MEAL, YEAST.

CONTAINS 2 PERCENT OR LESS OF: SOYBEAN OIL,

SALT, CARAMEL COLOR, CARAWAY SEEDS, COCOA

PROCESSED WITH ALKALI (DUTCHED), CALCIUM

PROPIONATE AND SORBIC ACID TO RETARD

SPOILAGE, MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES, WHEAT

FLOUR, MALTED BARLEY FLOUR, DEXTROSE, SUGAR,

LACTIC ACID, DEHYDRATED ONIONS, DEHYDRATED

GARLIC AND ENZYMES

Pepperidge Farm Swirl Rye & Pump Bread

My Analysis:

Flour – overly processed non-beneficial wheat flour?

Niacin – derived from animal or plant based sources (usually from meats and fish)

Reduced Iron – de-oxified ironoxide (rust)

Thiamine mononitrate – commercially prepared from yeast extract or sardines

Riboflavin - derived from animal or plant based sources.

Folic acid – the product of bacteria, Lactobacillus Casei

Water – don’t fish tinkle in the stuff? Just kidding (but they must).

Rye flour – plant based

Wheat gluten – plant based

Rye meal – plant based

Yeast - fungus

Soybean oil – plant based

Salt - mineral

Caramel color – sugars heated in presence of acids, alkalis, or salts

Caraway seeds – plant based

Cocoa – plant based

Alkali – mineral (basic, ionic salt of an alkali metal)

Calcium propionate – mineral (calcium salt of propionic acid)

Sorbic acid – a natural organic compound

Monoglycerides – commercial source may be animal, vegetable, or synthetic

Diglycerides – commercial source may be animal, vegetable, or synthetic

Wheat flour – plant based

Malted barley flour – plant based

Dextrose – plant based sugar (primarily derived from corn)

Sugar – plant based

Lactic acid – milk (animal) based

Dehydrated onions – plant based

Dehydrated garlic – plant based

Enzymes – sources may be animal, plant, other natural, or synthetic

Bread in its simplest form can be baked from nothing more than: yeast, sugar (to activate the yeast culture), water, flour, salt and oil. I suppose that you could even omit the oil if you don’t mind a crunchy rock-hard textured loaf?

Chucky is 60% befuddled and 40% bewildered (and 100% nuts). What in the heck has he and Tiffany been spreading their Earth Balance margarine on??? My very own (first) analysis of ingredients has me re-thinking just how stupid I’ve been. From day one, I’ve been instructed “If you don’t have the ingredients in your very own kitchen, do you really want to be buying and consuming it?”

I suppose that I am both disappointed and concerned. After all, the corporate types who “design”, manufacture and market these funktified concoctions (I refuse to call it food) aren’t looking at my best interests, are they?

Hey! Guess what? I feel better already! It’s a new lifestyle and a longer/new life ahead for Chucky and Tiffany.

Hi-dee hi-dee watch-the-metamorphosis-of-vegetarian-gone-vegan-my-friend ho!

Vegetarian to Vegan: What Will Chucky Miss The Most?

2013-01-26T08:35:00.001-05:00

"It's not always where you've been. It's sometime where you are going which leaves the best impression."

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Au revoir my fine non-vegan friends! It’s with mixed emotions that I transgress into the wonderful lifelong journey of veganism.

For every item that I find myself missing, I just know that I shall discover a wonderful new delicious & healthy vegan dish which easily replaces it. A placebo perhaps but well worth my healthy journey that awaits me.

Oh? Vegetarian (lacto ovo vegetarian) items that I shall miss? There are fewer that I expected but some of them nonetheless. And… they are:

· Quorn products – Great news on the horizon. According to their web site they now offer a vegan “The Vegan Burger” in the US and are developing further vegan products in the future! Oh happy day!

· Local free-range organic chicken eggs, over easy will be a toughie – Sadly there shall never be a replacement? One can only wish, dream and hope though.

· Artisan, blue, feta, and aged cheese – Luckily, some of the vegan “standard” cheeses are decent substitutes but I’ll be limited to Swiss, cheddar, mozzarella, and the like.

· Johnny’s Potato Soup mix – certainly there exists a vegan alternative of similar stature.

· Publix Greenwise brand breakfast sausage and links – I’ve already prodded Publix Corporation and their Greenwise supplier of the need for vegan choices. The response I got was promising if other vegans would likewise make such requests. It’s all about supply and demand people!

I promise to add to this list as I encounter other “bumps” on the vegan highway.

Hi-dee hi-dee I-can't-hardly-wait-until-I-find-myself-walking-this-new-path-ho my friend!

Newsflash from Chucky and Tiffany

2013-01-23T19:13:00.000-05:00

"Show me a vegetarian and I'll show you someone who's saved a few lives."
- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Hello! Salutation! And general expressions of well wishes and fond greetings my friend.

Just where the heck have Chucky and Tiffany been? As I last left you in October 2012, I landed a dream job. Guess what? It's even better than I fathomed and I consider myself the luckiest man alive when I arrive at the office each day. Yeah ~ it's that good.

The newsflash? Over the past week both Tiffany and I have decided to take a leap of faith and become vegan! It's going to take a while however. We're wrapping up the vegetarian (non-vegan) food stuffs which we currently have. However, we now purchase vegan foods and attempt to go non-GMO wherever we are afforded the choice.

I'd speculate that by three to six months, I may be able to "officially" call myself a vegan. I suspect that educating myself when dining out will prove to be the most difficult hurdle to jump. But, time shall tell.

No more cheeses. No more eggs over easy. No more vegetarian Quorn products. No more Publix brand Greenwise vegetarian products. So many changes ahead.

However, on a great note. There are satisfactory egg replacements. There are some relatively decent vegan cheeses which melt and taste alright. There are product lines which are mostly (if not entirely) vegan ~ Field Roast and Gardein brands, for example.

I'd ask that you wish my luck but you won't have to. My mind is made up. 'Tis the vegan lifestyle where we shall go.

Psst... I'll do a better job at dropping a blog line, okay?

Hi-dee hi-dee can-it-continue-to-keep-getting-better-ho my friend?

Post Master Cleanse - The Lunch Choice Winner Is...

2012-10-21T15:41:00.000-04:00

"A smile... The World's most affordable greeting card."
- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Hello! I hope that you're able to make the most of your day and leave a positive and eco-friendly foot print behind.

Life is back to the new normal for Chucky and Tiffany. The Master Cleanse and the migration to the new eating regiment began. Where did we go for lunch yesterday?

Vegetable Soup

Ocean Treasure (tofu, seaweed, broccoli, and carrot in plum sauce)

Combo 7 (rice, Summer rolls, tofu vegetables, & ginger soy protein)

I normally don't add a caveat but I feel obliged to do so. The three pictures above are not from The Loving Hut website. These are the actual pictures of the actual meals that Tiffany and I were served yesterday! And, yes ~ they did look this good and, yes, they tasted even better than they look!

The lunch at The Loving Hut? Absolutely incredible with one mind-changing event. Before this meal I've always explained to my carnivore friends, "Vegetarian food mocks a vague facsimile of the animal-based original." Not so any longer. I can now add to my shelves of knowledge that The Loving Hut's vegan scallops meet and/or exceed both taste and quality of the real thing! How do they do it???

There were not bad choices. Just between us, I'd eaten a cardboard box after 10 days of nothing except lemonade. The Loving Hut was our choice and a very good one at that. I forgot how delicious and affordable their vegan food is. The pictures above truly don't do the food and the flavor justice!

Hi-dee hi-dee life-the-pearl-of-my-oyster-ho my friend!

Master Cleanse - 12 Days Down, (Almost) No More To Go

2012-10-20T07:15:00.002-04:00

"If you don't wake up every morning believing that you're the luckiest person alive then you had better re-focus on what's truly important in life."
- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Hello! Let's did every available smile and warm memory from this day, shall we?

Day #13. Tiffany and I trek towards a new normal healthy eating regiment this day. Smaller portions, better choices, more organic, less GMO, more raw, processed-free, and generally placing into our bodies what truly should belong.

We both feel GREAT! Happy, healthy and ready to take on the world of health. If the cleanses accomplished but a single thing it would be a mental reset towards a true goal of health. I've always believed that the mind is your biggest prescription pill.

The five lunch choices (alphabetically) that I gave to Tiffany today are: (1) Ethos Vegan Ki tchen, (2) Green Day Cafe, (3) The Loving Hut, (4) Thuyen Vien, or (5) Wheat Berry Café. Subject to change, The Loving Hut will probably win today. On a good note? None of these are a wrong choice! :)

Dinner tonight? Hmm...

Hi-dee hi-dee I-love-my-life-how-'bout-you-ho my friend?

Master Cleanse - 11 Days Down, (Almost) No More To Go

2012-10-19T05:42:00.000-04:00

"Every human being is the author of his own health or disease."
- Buddha

Greetings and salutations my friend! May you have nothing except peace & happiness around you the entire day through.

Day #12. Tiffany and I finally had something other than citrus last night for dinner. I made a nice shiitake-wakame Miso Soup broth to accompany the orange juice. And... guess what? At lunch today we get to have our first sampling of some solid food.

I've prepared a vegetable soup. Diced tomato, water, amino acids, nutritional yeast flake, dehydrated eggplant, dehydrated potato slices, dehydrated portabello mushroom, wakame seaweed, spices, and mixed frozen veggies. We CANNOT wait! :)

How do we both feel? Outstanding! Neither of having an iota of regret. I won't get graphic but things passed through me that can be described nothing other than odd and weird.

I feel healthy just thinking about my internal organs that I've de-toxified. My kidneys, my gallbladder, my digestive tract, and everything to the left and to the right. If I'm correct, I'll now be able to absorb and utilize much more of the nutrition that I plan to digest going forward!

0.2 lb loss for me on day #12. 24.4 lbs in just eleven days.

Hi-dee hi-dee limited-solid-food-today-ho my friend!

Master Cleanse - 10 Days Down, (Almost) No More To Go

2012-10-18T06:04:00.000-04:00

"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
- Robert McCloskey

Hi! May you have a grandiose morning and an even better day!

Day #11. I'm done with lemonade but not quite done yet. Today is the beginning of a three day run back to solid foods again.

Yesterday I mentioned it was OJ and miso soup on the agenda today. I tossed all of my dashi from the cupboards when I converted to vegetarianism (it contains bonita fish flakes). Hmm... what to do? I researched and found that there are many forms of dashi (seaweed/bonita, seaweed, shiitake, etc.)

While at the office today, Mother Nature is going to help me with an experiment. I've added some dried shiitake mushroom and wakame (seaweed) into a sun tea jar. Instead of arriving home and steeping the flavors from these culinary gems, why not use solar power instead?

I'll let you know how it goes. The shiitake-wakame dashi is but the basis for the miso soup. Oh yeah... no tofu or solids in tonight's soup. It'll be just fresh homemade miso broth. Cannot wait!!! What a nice way to begin the trip back to real eating.

0.6 lb loss for me on day #11. That's the same as yesterday's loss. And it's 24.2 lbs in just ten days.

Hi-dee hi-dee yes-it-was-quite-doable-ho my friend!

Master Cleanse - 9 Days Down, 1 More Day To Go

2012-10-17T05:48:00.003-04:00

"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.."
- Dennis Miller

Howdie there! May you have nothing less than a marvelous Wednesday.

Day #10. I can say beyond any doubt whatsoever that Chucky is sick and tired of lemonade. ROFLOL But... on a good note, it's almost over and I believe that it was worth every lemon of effort.

What is on tomorrow's menu? Nothing but orange juice to acclimate the body back towards solid food again. Psst... I might cheat a skosh bit and enjoy a wee bit of Miso broth for dinner on Thursday.

When will Chucky and Tiffany be able to eat normal (er... the new normal) again? On Sunday we should be okay to eat normal foods in moderation, of course.

0.6 lb loss for me on day #10. That's 23.6 lbs in just nine days.

Hi-dee hi-dee no-lemonade-tomorrow-for-Chucky-ho my friend!

Master Cleanse - 8 Days Down, 2 More Days To Go

2012-10-16T05:49:00.003-04:00

"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber."
- Aristotle

Hello! Thanks for dropping by my blog. I hope that you find something interesting, unusual, or find yourself "Chuck"ling.

Day #9. I am desperately looking forward to tomorrow night when it all ends! I'm just so tired of lemonade. Tiffany is handling the repetition much, much better than I.

But, on the good side? It's not distasteful, it satisfies the hunger, and could certainly be much worse! Besides, I feel good and am not having any regrets for doing this cleanse. But, between you and I, it's an awful good incentive to keep the crap out of my body afterwards so that I won't have to repeat it as often!

1.6 lb loss for me on day #9. That's 23.0 lbs in just eight days.

Hi-dee hi-dee I-can-see-the-solid-food-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel-ho my friend.

Master Cleanse - 7 Days Down, 3 More Days To Go

2012-10-15T05:52:00.002-04:00

"We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons."
- Alfred E. Newman

Greetings friend! May you be blessed with a fine day and an even better week to come.

Day #8. I'm truly getting tired of lemonade (and limeade). But, as Tiffany reminded me last night, there are only nine more glasses to go! But ~ as boring as lemonade might be, it's both doable and could certainly be much worse.

The weekend proved to be relatively difficult but not terribly so. The workweek provides focus on the job and that takes the mind off of the cleanse. I don't have any problem believing that it'll be over before I know it.

0.4 lb loss for me on day #8. That's 21.4 lbs in just seven days. The purported weight loss average on the cleanse is 2 lbs per day so I suppose that I'm ahead of the curve? But, of course, I'm also ahead of the curve when it comes to the weight that my poor little legs must carry! :)

Hi-dee hi-dee I'm-getting-awful-tired-of-lemonade-ho my friend.

Master Cleanse - 6 Days Down, 4 More Days To Go

2012-10-14T09:11:00.001-04:00

"It's my personal opinion that human beings are one of the most unintelligent species. After all, we possess incredible abilities for logic yet we keep killing each other in wars, murdering each other in crime, mistreating each other on many occasion, depleting natural unsustained resources, and so on and so on and so on."

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

I tip my hat to you my friend. May you experience nothing short of a most pleasant and productive day.

Day #7. Yesterday was truly tough. No, neither Tiffany nor I experienced hunger but it was the habit of visiting our local restaurants that was difficult. Although it's not distasteful, I am getting a little tired of lemonade.

Yesterday we attempted to make our day as normal as possible by running our errands. The only difference? No stops into our local establishments to eat breakfast, eat lunch, or grocery shop.

I, unsuccessfully, tried mowing the yard yesterday afternoon. I did get the front yard completed but just barely. I've never sensed a more heavy and difficult lawn mower to push! I attribute this to the lack of calories and energy to expell for the process. I hope to finish the back yard today.

All in all, Tiffany and I feel great! No headaches, no pains, and no hunger. We simply miss the solid food, the variety, and our regular weekend stops.

0.8 lb loss for me on day #7. That's 21.0 lbs in just six days. It may not be significant but it's loss just the same.

Hi-dee hi-dee the-tough-weekend-is-almost-behind-us-ho my friend.

Master Cleanse - 5 Days Down, 5 More Days To Go

2012-10-13T08:32:00.000-04:00

"Could a politician win in today's world if they only stood on a platform of their achievements, their goals, their vision, and never made mention of their opponents?"

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Hello there my friend. Have a stupendous and most wonderful day!

Day #6. It seems to get easier as each day passes. Tiffany and I speak of, dream of, and think of all foods except lemonade every waking (and sleeping) moment but both agree it's not drive by hunger. More so of delicious moderate healthy eating ahead of us soon.

Oh? On day 11? No. We've got to wean ourselves back to solid food. Day 11 is a switch to fresh orange juice. Day 12 is fresh orange juice and a wee bit of fresh vegetable soup. Day 13 is a little heavier on the solid foods and day 14 is back to normal. Er... Excuse me. "A brand NEW normal."

Guess what? 2.3 lb loss for me on day #6!!! That's 20.2 lbs in just five days. "I'll take it." Uh ~ I'll allow it to go!

Hi-dee hi-dee let's-ski-the-downhill-Master-Cleanse-slope-ho my friend.

Master Cleanse - 4 Days Down, 6 More Days To Go

2012-10-12T06:02:00.001-04:00

"If smiles are contagious then I want a case of the Smile Flu!'"

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

I extend a plethora of pleasantries to you my friend!

Day #5. Another great day. Feel great, mind is sharp (okay, okay... as well as it can be), sleeping well, no hunger, and it's been easy getting through the days (and nights).

I might excessively be thinking of future solid foods to come but this is actually a good thing. I'm thinking in light of what I will and will no longer place into my body after this cleanse. I truly intend to keep the processed crap and sugars from my diet. To lean much MORE toward vegan, raw and natural foods.

Guess what? 1.7 lb loss for me on day #4!!! That's 17.9 lbs in just four days. Nice cleanse benefit, in my humble opinion.

Hi-dee hi-dee the-difficult-weekend-awaits-us-ho my friend.

Master Cleanse - 3 Days Down, 7 More Days To Go

2012-10-11T06:07:00.001-04:00

"I stopped liking super heroes when I was a little child. Imagine my shock and awl when I opened my brand new Superman Halloween costume to read the label which read, 'Not intended to fly.'"

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

May you experience nothing short of a marvelous and most wonderful day!

Day #4. Feel great! Not hungry. And not tired. Other than missing the habit of dining on solid food, everything is pretty much normal.

No biological, physical, or mental changes to make note of. Okay, okay... Maybe Tiffany and I are feeling really great knowing that we're finally doing this cleanse.

Oh yeah! 2.0 lb loss for me on day #3. I'll take it! :)

Hi-dee hi-dee I'm-doing-the-right-thing-for-my-body-ho my friend.

Master Cleanse - 2 Days Down, 8 More Days To Go

2012-10-10T06:05:00.001-04:00

"Why do they call it 'toilet paper' anyway? It's not exactly the toilet that it's been designed to wipe is it?"

- Unnamed Childhood Friend of Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

I wish that everyone experiences a better day than yesterday no matter how good or bad the previous day might have been!

Day #3. Not near as tired at the end of the day but Chucky had a mild headache. I went to bed very early last night but slept well and feel on top of the world this morning. Tiffany felt leaps and bounds better all-around yesterday.

For a change we used our Blendtec mixer to make our dinner last night. We zested the outside of our organic lemons before dropping them into the Blendtec. The lemon pith gives the overall consistency of the frozen concoction a rather smooth and mild taste. I could still detect those nasty Cayenne particles on the back of my throat after each sip but it wasn't as bad.

In addition, the Cayenne particles (flakes?) suspended more evenly in the frozen version. But, once again it was purified water + organic lemons + grade B pure organic maple syrup + organic Cayenne pepper.

Oh? The medication? Yes. I continue to take all of my regular prescribed meds but have foregone all supplemental vitamins & supplements.

So far it's been an easier ride than either of us had expected. We're thinking that today might even be the cleanse plan "hump" day as I read the first three days are the most difficult.

No hunger pains whatsoever! Actually, I feel more satisfied than I did on the Kidney Cleanse (apple juice). We have the natural inclinations to miss our favorite dining spots and I'd give anything for a solid piece of food. But, I have faith that this process will reap beneficial results.

Oh yeah! 5.4 lb loss for me on day #2. What a nice side-effect, huh?

Hi-dee hi-dee it's-going-better-than-hoped-ho my friend.

Master Cleanse - T Minuse One

2012-10-09T06:00:00.004-04:00

"Red lights are nothing but impediments to my traffic flow!"

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

May you and those around you experience a phenomenally fine day! If you're so lucky, please share it and pass it forward.

Day #2. Hungry? "No." Maybe a little bit but no more than usual this time of the morning. Other than feeling a little tired and worn down towards the latter part of yesterday, all went well.

The concoction? Don't particularly like the Cayenne pepper aspect. Oh, I LOVE hot pepper. It's the nature of the pepper. I simply wish it were in liquid form. I don't like the 'chalkiness of the pepper flakes on the back of my throat as I swallow. But ~ the Cayenne is a principal part of the cleanse to up the metabolism and assist in blood flow.

Oh yeah! 8.8 lb loss for me on day #1. A nice side-benefit but don't suppose it'll last. I'll keep you posted as these next ten days roll along.

Hi-dee hi-dee Chucky-and-Tiffany-keep-chuggin-along-ho my friend.

Master Cleanse - T Minus Zero

2012-10-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

"I expect perfection from those around me when I become perfect. No-one has an iota to worry about!"

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

May each day be ten-fold better than the last my friend! Allow and make wonderful things happen to those around you and you're off to a very good start.

T minus zero. No coffee this morning. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and all snacking becomes quite easy these next ten days... fresh squeezed lemonade + grade B maple syrup + Cayenne pepper. This concoction and as much H2O that my heart desires the next ten days.

No coffee, no solids, no soda, and notta for the next ten days. This is the Master Cleanse. It's goal is to remove toxins from our bodies and give us a fresh start. Upon conclusion, Tiffany and I will become MUCH more cognizant of what trash we dump into our bodies. I plan and hope to abstain from processes foods and drive towards an organic vegan diet wherever possible. Yeah... I suppose you can say that today begins the first day of my new life?

Hi-dee hi-dee return-and-hear-my-progress-ho my friend!

2 Years, 1 Day, 0 Regret

2012-10-02T06:01:00.001-04:00

"Anything less than a spectacular day could be a waste, right? Let's both not waste our day!"
- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

I hope that this finds you well, kind, happy and meatless. I only wish the best for everyone!

Besides simply being October 1st, yesterday marked the World Vegetarian Day! Were you aware of this? It kicks of World Vegetarian Awareness Month. In addition, it marked the day two years ago when Tiffany asked whether I'd like to give it a whirl. "Why not?" After all, neither Tiffany nor I were much of red meat eaters and generally preferred tofu when dining out. "Just how hard could it be?"

Let's keep this post simply shall we? It's perhaps one of the best and smartest decisions that I have ever made during my lifetime. "'Nuff said?"

Hi-dee hi-dee life-is-wonderful-my-friend ho!

So ~ Exactly What Are Chucky & Tiffany Eating These Days?

2012-08-03T06:00:00.001-04:00

"I often wonder whether 'None of the Above' has more experience, is more qualified, and genuinely concerns more about its citizens than the names I find on my ballots for the Senate and the House of Representatives."

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Hello my friend! May this be nothing less than a grande day for you and those whom you love.

Okay. It's been seven days since we began and four days since we completed the Kidney & Gallbladder Cleanse. Just how have Tiffany & Chucky changed their eating habits? In a nutshell, "Tremendously so!"

So far Tiffany has given up caffeine entirely (no sodas) and Chucky has gone from approximately 10 to 12 cups to 2 to 4 cups of coffee per day. However, neither of us are making any commitments when it comes to giving up our caffeine. <hehe>

Basically we're avoiding all processed foods and trying very hard to abstain from (or minimize) starchy white flour based items (breads, buns, white rice, etc.) and cholesterol laden foods (cheese, eggs). We've enjoyed fresh fruits, organic salads, organic veggie stuffed grape leaves, couscous, spinach/garbanzo bean patties, seaweed salad, organic live sauerkraut, egg white omelets, Kamut grain pancakes (very small portion/size), etc.

You get the picture, right? Look at the label. Can you recognize all ingredients? Are these ingredients found readily in the average home and garden? What's the saturated fat content? How about cholesterol? Let us not over look the calories. Of course, calories are meaningless when not measured against serving size (reduced-calorie portion packs really irk me because consumers just eat more!).

Between the cleanses, the re-focus on what we're placing into our bodies, and a reborn feeling; we're both in hog health heaven right now! I feel tremendous! It's a new life! A new wonderful life! Why not join me?

Hi-dee hi-dee life-sometimes-just-keeps-getting-better-ho my friend.

Post- Kidney & Gallbladder Cleanse Analysis

2012-08-01T05:50:00.000-04:00

"I love my wife. I love my family. I love my pet. I love my job. I love my life!"

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Cheers and greetings to one and to all! May this day bring your wishes to fruition and your worries to rest.

It's been two days since the completion of the Kidney & Gallbladder Cleanse. The number two question that everyone has been asking me, "Do you feel better?" The number one question? "Weren't you hungry???"

No. With but a single caveat, neither Tiffany nor I were hungry during any day or any phase of this cleanse. We had cravings for foods that we visually witnessed on television and drove by our favorite restaurants fighting the urge to pull into the parking lot. But these were not physical urges of hunger. It was simply missing the habit of eating solid food and the relaxation accompanied when dining in our favorite restaurants.

Yes. I feel MUCH better. Not a climbing the walls full-of-energy better. The cleanse didn't reawaken some hidden nuclear cells of energy but I genuinely feel better. It may be psychosomatic but I don't care. I truly believe mind over matter. A positive attitude will get you miles farther down the highway of happiness than jumping onto the negativity bandwagon will!

The very BEST thing about the experience? It cleansed my outlook on what I eat more than any other effect (except perhaps weight loss). I now look at everything that I am placing into my mouth with regards to "feeding the engine" rather than "cramming in crap". I'm totally more cognizant of what the ingredients are and whether I really want to put "that crap" into my body. My consumption outlook on life I hope is forever changed. But, even if nothing more than a momentary part of my lifestyle, I'm better for doing the cleanse than not.

Oh yeah... I plan to repeat the Gallbladder Cleanse over the weekend by upping the dose of olive oil and lemon juice. I did not quite get the desired effect and when I've consulted with others who have gone through the process they recommend this plan of action. More on those results next week.

Hi-dee hi-dee life-is-truly-grande-ho my friend.

Day #5 - Begin Intestinal Cleanse

2012-07-30T08:29:00.001-04:00

"Tastes like apple juice!"

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Top of the morning to you my friend! May this be nothing short of a truly stupendous day and the just the beginning on of a most marvelous week.

"No more apple juice!" "No more apple juice!" What a wonderful feeling indeed. Although it's certainly not a distasteful drink, I was getting quite tired of it. For me it was simply too sweet on the lips and palate. I preferred it much better when mixed heavily with distilled water. Tiffany and I found that an apple juice smoothie worked best: about a cup of apple juice and ice cube tray full of distilled water blended in the Blendtec.

This morning begins day #1 of a 3-month intestinal cleanse. Before each meal we drink our Psyllium seed husk and black strap molasses drink. Basically, it "scrubs" the intestine and colon. After 3-months the Master Cleanse will then be much more effective at removing toxins from the body.

This morning Tiffany and I had a few pieces of mixed fruit for breakfast (cantaloupe, watermelon, strawberry, green grape, red grape, and pineapple). This first solid food breakfast went right through the both of us as we had expected. The next few days are cautiously designed to ween ourselves back onto real solid food. Nothing but fresh fruit and veggies today in extreme moderation and a then we introduce ourselves to vegetable soup with plenty of broth for tomorrow's lunch.

Surprisingly, I still haven't had any success in passing my gallstones... yet. Perhaps today?

I'll share more about our experience tonight and give you an honest assessment of how I feel having done both cleanses.

Hi-dee hi-dee it's-time-to-take-it-easy-ho my friend.

Day #4 - Kidney & Gallbladder Cleanse

2012-07-29T09:27:00.001-04:00

"Show me a smile and I'll show you someone who's not afraid to share some joy."

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Greetings! May your day be filled with happiness, healthy and hope.

8:30PM Update: It's been 23 hours and my system still has not discharged the gallstones as a result of the olive oil & lemon juice concoction. However, on a more important note, Tiffany re-read the cleansing booklet and I was mistaken. The book recommends 3-months of the Intestinal Cleanse before par-taking the Master Cleanse. As the Master Cleanse removes toxins from the body, it's best to first cleanse the intestines (3 months of psyllium seed husk + black strap molasses + water before every meal).

This morning concludes an official end to the Kidney Cleanse and last night & today conclude the Gallbladder Cleanse. Tomorrow begins the Master Cleanse. All that I have to say is, "Bye, bye apple juice! Hello lemonade!"

Last night was my final quart of salt water and I had the 1/2 cup of olive oil and 1/4 of fresh lemon juice before heading off to bed. I expected a very long and miserable night. I did not have anything except a truly restful night. Nor did I have a difficult time drinking the olive oil and lemon juice. It did not taste bad on my buds and I did not experience a single iota of gag reflex.

However, I was suppose to experience gallbladder convulsions and feverish sweats during the night. I did not. At this time late in the morning, I have not expelled the concoction nor do I feel any discomfort. BUT... from what I have read and watched over the Internet, I am truly the exception to the rule of thumb.

I feel terrific, am not the least bit hungry, and feel no worse for the wear. I'm actually looking forward to the next 10-days of the Master Cleanse (spring water, fresh organic lemon, grade B organic maple syrup, and organic cayenne pepper). I'll keep on posting the trek towards my healthy goal.

Hi-dee hi-dee onward-to-lemonade-tomorrow-ho my friend.

Day #3 - Kidney & Gallbladder Cleanse

2012-07-28T12:13:00.002-04:00

"I've never heard of anyone dying from Mad Tofu Disease!"

- Anonymous - As Seen on a T-Shirt at 2011 Orlando VegFest

I send greetings and wishes of warmth to you my friend! May this be nothing except a truly pleasant day.

It's the middle of the afternoon on day #3. Nothing but pure apple juice, distilled water, and salt for the past two and one-half days. And the most obvious question, "How do I feel?" I feel great except I've felt a little worn down later in the afternoons. It seems like a night of rest gets me recharged again. I also have the off-an-on mild headaches which I'm still attributing to caffeine withdrawal.

Surprisingly I haven't been hungry except within the confines of my mind. I'm not physically hungry but visions of solid food keep appearing in my thoughts. Also, the habit of placing my grubby little hands onto something solid to eat isn't quite satisfied by grabbing onto a glass of apple juice!

This day concludes the "Kidney Cleanse" part but actions tonight and tomorrow tack on the "Gallbladder Cleanse" finale. Tonight Tiffany and I have to down 1/2 cup of olive oil and 1/4 cup of fresh organic lemon juice before going to bed.

From what I have studied, it won't be an absolutely pleasant experience either. Basically, convulsions of the gallbladder will purportedly expel anywhere upwards to 50 small gallstones tomorrow morning. I've prepared myself mentally for an awkward night of rest and active morning tomorrow as my bodily functions do their thing.

After this? Tomorrow continues as pure apple juice and distilled water except no quart of salt water required tomorrow night! :) Monday? I could conclude this series of cleanses but hope to immediately embark on a 10-day Master Cleanse instead.

So, if all goes well I should be enjoying solid food in 13-1/2 days or so. Oh yeah... I naturally dropped a bucket load of pounds this morning too!

Hi-dee hi-dee tomorrow-is-a-cleaner-day-inside-ho my friend.

Day #2 - Kidney Cleanse

2012-07-27T06:14:00.001-04:00

"How come Glade doesn't make room air fresheners in masculine smells like 'Stock Car Races', 'Camp Fire Smoke', 'Diesel Fuel', 'Honey, I've Been Fishing!', or 'Axel Bearing Grease'?"

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Greetings and a plethora of well-wishes to you my friend! May you be blessed with a most magnificent day.

It's been one day, 60-ounces pure apple juice, 164-ounces distilled water, and 2-teaspoons non-iodized salt later. Yours truly kinda forgot how many ounces in a gallon and drank about 1/2 as much apple juice as he could have. But, on another note, I truly feel satisfied with what I did consume.

Any biological changes? Of course, when I jumped on the scale I found that I was missing quite a few pounds. "How many pounds, Chucky?" Because it's not truly relative to the purpose of our cleanses I prefer to defer in sharing this data, okay? Other than weight loss, I feel perfectly fine. I'm no hungrier than I ever am and my only pain are subtle aches in the head which I attribute to lack of caffeine.

It's right before a delicious wake-up breakfast of apple juice and I've checked my blood glucose this morning. It was 127 which is about normal for me. Luckily this tells me that the increase sugars from the apple juice aren't being harmful to my internal chains, hoists, and cogs.

Tiffany and I both feel fine although we miss solid food. Drinking nothing but liquids is so weird! Two more days for the Kidney Cleanse and we tag on Sunday to complete the Gallbladder Cleanse. If all goes well, we jump right into the Master Cleanse on Monday.

Hi-dee hi-dee I-know-I-can-I-know-I-can-ho my friend.

The Last (Er... First?) Supper

2012-07-26T08:07:00.000-04:00

"Show me five people who think they're perfect and I'll show you five people who haven't a clue."

- Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Top of this most excellent morning my friend! May it be filled with happiness, health, and purpose.

I had to leave the office early yesterday for a doctor's visit. Tiffany met me at the doctor's office and it was over before we know it. So... It's Wednesday evening and we're about to embark on fourteen days of liquid-only cleansing. Where to go for dinner?

Bahama Breeze - Sun-drenched Portobello & vegetable sandwich
Caffe Positano - Eggplant sub sandwich and white pizza
Carrabba's Italian Grill - Pasta Sostanza or Margarita pizza
Miller's Ale House - Vegetable fajita and veggie wrap
Pei Wei Asian Diner -any of their stock velveted vegan selections
Polonia Polish Restaurant - Sauerkraut & cheese pierogi and potato pancakes
Ravalia's Pasta Bar & Italian Rotisserie - Pasta with marina sauce and a Margarita pizza
Tijuana Flats - Bean tacos and re-fried bean nachos (power lite)

The winner? Tough choice with so many contenders but Tijuana Flats won. But that was last night and now is another day.

It's been a few hours since my delicious gourmet breakfast consisting of 100% pure apple juice and distilled water. Nope, no coffee. I am, er.. was a 10- or so cup a day coffee drinker!

But ~ On a good note. Tiffany tells me that if I am good today she'll reward me with 1-quart of salt water for flushing my system tonight!!! See... she really does love me! :)

The only (early) observation so far? I'm not much of an apple juice fanatic and found the juice to be extremely sweet. I had to go back and check the bottle's label. Yep... 100% pure apple juice with no sugars (or anything else, for that matter) added.

Hi-dee hi-dee here-we-go-ho my friend.