CHULBULE CHUTKULE

pati patni

2021-04-24T23:03:00.001-07:00

Choutha Ya Panchva ?

2019-09-19T22:48:00.001-07:00

- - - इतिहास गवाह है - - -*

2019-07-31T03:04:00.000-07:00

- - - इतिहास गवाह है - - -*

▪इतिहास गवाह है कि कपड़े धोते वक्त पति की जेब से मिले पैसे बीवियों ने आज तक वापस नहीं किए।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि आदमी नहाने के बाद बाल्टी में उतना ही पानी छोड़ता है जितने से उसकी चड्डी बनियान धुल सके।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि गुटखा खाते वक्त किसी से बातचीत करते हुए जब-जब भी आदमी ने गुटखा बीच में ही थूका है तब-तब उसने बहुत ज्ञान की बात बताई हैं।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि प्राइवेट जॉब से छुट्टी लेकर आदमी का ब्याह-शादी मे पहुंचना उतना ही मुश्किल रहा है जितना कि पुरानी फिल्मों में गवाह का कोर्ट में पहुंचना।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि हर गांव में एक दो बुड्ढे ऐसे होते हैं जिनसे भूत ने कभी बीड़ी मांगी होती हैं।▪इतिहास गवाह है कि सब्जी खरीदने के बाद जो भी पैसे बच जाते हैं, वही बेरोजगारों की आय का मुख्य स्त्रोत है |
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि अलार्म बजने से परिवार के सारे लोग उठ जाते हैं सिवाय उसके,जिसने अलार्म लगाया हो|
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि महिलाओं ने मोलभाव करते समय दुकानदार को हमेशा पिछली दुकान का हवाला दिया है।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि अगर कोई पटरी पर ये देखने गया है कि ट्रेन आ रही है या नहीं, तो वह बिना थूके वापस नहीं आया है।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि लड़कियों को अपनी मंजिल पर पहुंचने से कोई नहीं रोक पाया है, सिवाय रास्ते में खड़े गोलगप्पे वाले के।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि रोटी के बाद सबसे ज्यादा खाई जाने वाली चीज 'कसम' है, 'गुटखा' अभी भी तीसरे नंबर पर है।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि शादी के बाद लड़के का हमेशा पहला फर्ज रहा है- टेंट वाले के सारे बर्तन पूरे करना।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि सर्दियों में ऐसी कोई रात नहीं रही है जब रजाई में घुसने के बाद सु-सु न आई हो।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि संस्कृत दसवीं कक्षा के बाद सीधी 'फेरों' पर ही सुनने को मिली है।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि 49 या 99 का रिचार्ज करवाने पर दुकान वाले ने बचा हुआ एक रुपया वापस ना देकर हमेशा उसकी टॉफी ही खिलाई है।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि आम खाने के बाद इंसान ने गुठली पर उतना ही आम छोड़ा है जितनी ट्यूब में कॉलगेट।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि भारत में शुरू से ही अच्छे बॉलर नहीं रहे क्योंकि बैटिंग करने के बाद साला हमेशा से ही घर भागने की परंपरा रही है।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि होटल में रुका हुआ आदमी कमरे के परदे और तौलिए से जूते पोंछे बगैर वहां से नहीं गया है।
▪इतिहास गवाह है कि 'पढ़ाई' और 'जिम' कल से शुरू होते हैं तथा 'सिगरेट' और 'दारू' कल से बंद।

😃🙏🅰®🙏😃

व्हाट्सएप से
*--इतिहास गवाह है--*

2019-07-08T01:08:00.000-07:00

प्लीज ऐसे पोस्ट मत डाला कीजिये

कि

रिक्शा वाले की लड़की सिल्वर मेडल लाई...

रिक्शा वाले का बेटा IAS बना..

रिक्शा वाले की बेटी के 99 परसेंट आये...

खबरें पढ़ पढ़ के बच्चे जिद कर रहे हैं ,, पापा आप भी रिक्शा चलाया करो.......😢😲😯

Strong Return On Investment!

2016-09-02T23:15:00.001-07:00

Wife - Lets go for a dinner tonight.

Husband (HR Manager) - Ok.

Husband - Should we go to a sasta restaurant ?

Wife - No. Let's go to Royal Palace hotel.

Husband - (silence for a minute) - Ok, See you at 7.O 'Clock.

On the way, around 6.30 pm...

Husband - Once time, I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris and defeated me.

Wife - What's so difficult in it?

Husband - Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is so difficult.

Wife - I can easily beat you.

Husband - Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.

Wife - Let us have that competition right now.

Husband - So you want to see yourself defeated?

Wife - Let's see.

They both stop at a Pani-puri stall and start eating...

After about 30 Pani-puris the husband gave up.

The wife was also full, but to defeat her husband, she ate one more and shouted, "You lose."

The bill was Rs 50/- and wife was back home, happy with her bet win!

Moral of the Story...

Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments. Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment!

Find a good job

2016-08-18T22:17:00.001-07:00

To find a good job in Good Company boy Need 100% Talent

And Girl need Only 04% Talent

and Rest

( 36 )
)24 (
( 36 )
36 + 24+ 36 = 96 %

Jugad

2016-06-23T02:14:00.002-07:00

For More Photos Click ....

Man In Kitchen - 09 Picture

2016-06-22T06:10:00.002-07:00

For More Picture Click below :-

GANPAT-RAI

2016-06-22T04:13:00.000-07:00

A Bihari GANPAT-RAI (who really needs a job) is being interviewed by Britisher, Colonel Smith.

Col. Smith: Haan toh Gaand Fat rahai (Ganpat-Rai) !!

Bihari: Nahi sir, Zyada nahi!!

Col. Smith: Kya 'zyada nahi' bolta hai, tumhara application mein likha Hua hai
Gand fat rahai.

Bihari : Theekh hai mai baap, likha hai to fat raha hoga.

Col. Smith: Tum Daily marata hai (tum delhi me rahta hai)?

Bihari : Nahi sir, kabhi kabhi!!

Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, idhar aao, kya 'kabhi kabhi' bolta hai? Tumhara
application mein likha hua hai ki tum Daily marata hai.

Bihari : Theek hai mai bap, likha hai to marta honga.

The Bihari was employed on one condition that he will do whatever Col.Smith's family asks him to do.

Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai!!

Ganpatrai : Ji maalik.

Col. Smith: Aaj tum ko 3 kaam karnee kaa haai

Ganpatrai : Hukum Sarkaar

Col. Smith: Tum pehla hamaari beti ko chodenga (drop her off)...baad mein

hamaari biwi ko chodenga...aur uske baad mein hum ko chodenga.

Ganpatrai : Maaf karna Sarkaar, tumhari biwi aur beti to theek hai, lekin main aap ko nahi choddh sakta.

Col.Smith: Gand fatrahai! Tum ko hum ko chodnaa padhega.

Ganpatrai : Nahi sarkaar aisa zulum naa kare.

Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, agar tum hum ko nahi chod sakta to hum tumko nokri se nikaal denga.��

Ganpatrai : Theek hai sarkaar ....jo hukum. After a few days There is no one except

Col.Smith'swife at home. She is alone in her bedroom.While wearing her bra she is unable to Tie the knot behind.So......

Wife : Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo?

Ganpatrai : Ji Maalkin.

Wife : Gand fatrahai, hammara peeche se gaand maaro (gaanth maro-tie the bra knot).

Ganpatrai : Yeh kya keh rahi hai Maalkin??

Wife : Gand fatrahai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota hai.

Ganpatrai : Nahi Nahi Maalkin. Agar maine aisa kiya to hum ko sarkar kacha kha jayenge.

Wife : Gand fatrahai, agar tumne jaldi se hamari gaand nahi maari to hum tumko kacha kha jaayengi.

Ganpatrai : Theek hai maalkin. Jo hukum. Ganpatrai who has been frustrated by these Brits for a long time starts like a bull. Panic striken the wife tries to turn and shouts :

Wife : GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI !!!

Ganpatrai :Memsaab...Gaand maarega to Gaand to phatega hiiiiiiiiiii

Santa V/S Nurse

2016-06-22T04:06:00.004-07:00

Santa ek din ek nurse ke saath sex kar raha tha.

Nurse chillai ki dard ho raha hai.

Santa: "Sali, khud wahan injection lagati hai jahan hole hi nahi hai, aur tujhe Hole mein dard ho raha hai"

Jaldi ghar aagaye

2016-06-22T04:02:00.000-07:00

Anil road par nanga bhag raha tha.

Sunil ne usse rok kar poocha: Arre bhai aisa kyun kar rahe ho,
kyun nanga bhag rahe ho, tumhe sharam nahi aati?

Anil: Kyun ki aaj tum jaldi ghar aagaye, Issi liye.

Psychiatrist Session

2016-06-22T03:52:00.001-07:00

GIRL: I have done a great sin. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.

PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone,
so what did he do to deserve that?

GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: .. Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he put his hand in my bra.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he had sex with me!

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: .Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he told me he has AIDS.

PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!

Pappu V/S Mummy

2016-06-22T03:29:00.003-07:00

Pappu: Mom, Aap blouse mein paise kyu rakhti Ho ?

Mom: "Taaki tere papa ko pata na chale"

Pappu: "Mom aap bhi na, bechare papa roz kaamwali ke blouse mein dhoondte rehte hain"

Testimonial

2016-06-22T03:26:00.003-07:00

Motu : Interview kaisa hua?

Patlu : Interview to theek hua, lekin last mein woh english mein kuchh boli "Show me your testimonial".

Motu : To phir.

Patlu : Mujhe lagta hai ki main ghalat cheez dikha ke aa gaya hoon.

Reaction After Sex

2016-06-22T03:20:00.000-07:00

Sex ke baad aurton ke alag alag reaction

Call girl : Chal nikal.

Girl friend : Shaadi kab karoge.

Padosan : Phir kab aaoge.

Biwi : An 3-4 din mat bolna.

Kaamwali Bai : Ab to pagaar badha do saab.

Luka-Chhipi

2016-06-22T03:13:00.002-07:00

Patni : Chalo luka-chhipi khelte hain. Agar tumne mujhe dhoondh liya to tum meri gaand maarna aur maine tumhein dhoondh liya to main tumhari gaand maarungi.

Pati : Lekin tum kaise gaand maarogi?

Patni : Hum shopping ke liye jaayenge na.

Taang utha ke di

2016-06-22T03:10:00.000-07:00

Sharma ji ki party mein verma ji ke paas Mrs. Sharma aakar boli:
"Bhai sahab aapne to kuchh liya hi nahi" aur yeh keh kar ek chicken ka leg piece uthakar unki plate mein rakh diya.
.
.
Party khatm hone par Mr. Sharma ne Verma ji se poochha "Khana kaisa laga"
.
.
Verma ji: "Badhiya, par end mein bhabhi ji ne jo taang utha ke di maza aa gaya."

Serve Hot

2016-06-22T03:05:00.000-07:00

Pappu ki Biwi came without any clothes in the drawing room
to serve Halwa to the guests.

Papu screamed: Beshram aurat, tu hosh mein to hai?

Wife: Woh jee recipe book mein aisa hi likha tha na "Serve Hot without any dressing, guests will enjoy."

12 inch ka ghoda

2016-06-22T02:56:00.001-07:00

Baadshah Akbar ke paar ek 12 inch ka chhota sa, pyara sa ghoda tha.

Birbal: Jahan panahaapko yeh ghoda kahan se mila?

Akbar: Ek baba ne diya tha. Jo bhi maango woh de dete hain.

Birbal: Main bhi baba ke paas jaaunga.

Akbar: Jao par khayal rahe ki baba ek hi muraad poori karte hain aur ooncha sunte hain.

Birbal baba ke paas se jab laut kar aaye to akbar ko bataya
"Maine baba se ek bori heere maange the aur baba ne mujhe ek bori kheere de diye"

Akbar: "To tumne kya socha tha ki main baba se 12 inch ka ghoda maanga tha."

pregnant

2016-06-22T02:50:00.003-07:00

Bachcha maa se: Maa yeh pregnant kya hota hai?

Maa ne gusse se dekha to woh samjha ki gusse ko pregnent kehte hain.

Agle din school se laute samay bachcha ek ladki ke upar gir gaya.

Ladki ki maa chillaayi "Yeh kya badtameezi hai"

Bachcha "Arre main gira teri beti par hoon aur pregnant tu ho rahi hai"

Homework

2016-06-22T02:45:00.004-07:00

Girl Friend

2016-06-22T02:21:00.001-07:00

Friend : meri Gf mumbai rehti hai.

Teri Gf kaha rehti hai?

Me : Bhai meri Gf toh naraz rehti hai ..

Old Lady

2016-06-18T01:58:00.001-07:00

An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years,

until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.

They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said "Butter - 10 francs".

In response, the lady added a sign to her own window, "Butter - 9 francs".

The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign, "Butter - 8 francs".

Sure enough, the day after the lady's sign now read "7 francs".

This went on for a while, until eventually one of the lady's customers pointed to the sign and said,

"Madame, you cannot keep your prices so low for long. These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete."

In response, the old lady bent forward conspiratorially and muttered,

"Monsieur, I don't even sell butter."

RAN OVER MY FROG

2016-06-14T22:43:00.001-07:00

A little boy walks into a whore house with a $100 bill and a dead frog.
He goes to the pimp and asks for the ho with the most
venerial diseases.
The pimp is surprised but gives the boy his ho.
After the boy does his deed, the pimp asks why
he wanted the ho with all the venerial diseases.
The boy answers: When I go home, I will get a babysitter while my parents go out to eat and I'll f**k her.
When my parents get home, my dad will drive the sitter home and screw her in the car. Tonight, my parents will f**k . Tomorrow, after my dad leaves for work, my mom will do the mailman,
AND THAT THE SON Of A BITCH WHO RAN OVER MY FROG !!!!!

10 inch BIC

2016-06-14T22:32:00.001-07:00

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!"
and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter
Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?"
The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie."
The first man asks "Can I make a wish? "
Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly
cause he is a little hard at hearing"
"Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and
asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks "
The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds
later a million
ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other "
Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesn't he?"
The other man replies "
I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"