ChumpStyle

The Real Reason Chump Has Died

2010-06-10T14:04:00.000+02:00

You may have noticed...well actually...not noticed our feeble attempts to keep Chump from going gentle into the good night; to be honest with better content and help from the other Chumpstylers we may have done it, but alas we have failed.

Wezzo said to me a few weeks ago that he would help out by add a few posts but he either forgot or got busy with something. By something I mean gay ebony dating.

I must ask does Bokkie know and should I be canceling my Kalula tickets?

Ju Ju's Revolutionary House Mix

2010-04-23T11:07:00.000+02:00

There are some musical genius' out there but they would be nowhere without the genius of Julius Malema.

Side Boob

2010-04-14T21:36:00.000+02:00

Yes please

Thank you Egotastic and thank you Gisele Bundchen

Boobs of the Week

2010-03-25T13:25:00.000+02:00

Return of the legend...

Devon James got some Wood

2010-03-24T11:10:00.000+02:00

So Tiger is not yet out of the woods. Yet another porn star "slash" floozy "slash" Show me the money chick has come forward claiming that she has had sex with Mr. Tiger Woods.

Not only does she claim she had sex with him but that she brought a fellow adult star for some manage a trois. I think he manage a very well. It is believed that Tiger paid between 4000 and 6000 pounds for the event. Good job. Any man with some spare cash would have done the same.

Here's pic of Devon James. They were hard to find, getting past all the news headlines and all.

Reality Kings MILF Hunter has her here.

Sunday Jokes

2010-03-21T17:39:00.000+02:00

Remember, if you laugh too hard you may forget the joke.

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

A boy watches his mum and dad having sex he ask, "What are you doing ?"
His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!"
Boy say, "Do her doggy style I want a puppy."

Miss: Colette

2010-03-14T19:44:00.000+02:00

A European beauty just for you.

Lazer Tits

2010-03-14T17:23:00.000+02:00

Um...I'm not sure what to say here but I have to share this so here it is.

"For centuries the female bosom has been wrongfully held in the prison of maternal duty and manboy motor-boating. The time has come to blow the cell doors open for breasts! Howl for hooters! Get toasted by tits! Behold the blazing boobs! It's time to get ZAPPED!!!! LAZERTITS looks into the past and changes the future one broad at a time. What will YOU say when your kids ask where you were during the revolution? Don't burn your bra, BLAST IT!!!"

Go vist the lot at lazer tits, it'll change you life in some way, I'm just not sure how yet.

Sunday Jokes

2010-03-14T16:54:00.000+02:00

You are going to need these while trying to get through monday.

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.
As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b*tch in the kitchen.

Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a
condom about to give his wife some.
Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says,
"Whatcha doin' Daddy?"
Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his d*ck and starts looking at the
floor. "Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says.
Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, f*ck it?"

G-spot for Breakfast

2010-03-12T13:37:00.000+02:00

Seriously... A G Class? Seriously???

The X6 will eat the G Class for brekkies!

This monster runs on 4 litres of baby blood per 100km.

It will literally eat your soul if you don't move out of the fast lane.

Specs:

0-100 km/h: 5.4

Top Speed: 250

Max.output 300/5500

Max.torque 600/1750

Miss: Evelyn

2010-03-11T17:43:00.000+02:00

yes please clicky click

Top 5 FML's

2010-03-10T22:07:00.000+02:00

All time Agreed FMyLife's:

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML

Today, I wanted to have a good lunch with my wife before fasting for my surgery which I may not survive, she decided getting her hair cut was more important. I ate alone. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

In my opinion these are the top 5 FML's:

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

Today, my mom came to me and asked if I had drank her wine. I'm 16, so I lied and said "no". The next morning there was a DVD on my bed labeled "pool house security cameras - love mom." It was a video of me downing two bottles of red wine and having it off with my boyfriend. FML

Today, I saw a youtube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his Ipod and at the end he showed how there was no scratches and the Ipod screen was clean. So I took my brand new Ipod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

I can now go blind

2010-03-10T21:51:00.000+02:00

I'm not the biggest ass man but this is the opposite of FML. If I came across more gems like these, my life and yours would be as perfect as Megan's ass. Thank you miss Fox.I would also like to thank all the people involved that made this possible.

You may have noticed that I only posted a single picture, but if you need more then you may have to reassess your sexuality.

Enjoy.

The G Spot

2010-02-17T20:55:00.000+02:00

No no no, but keep reading 'cause it's worth it.

What I'm getting at is the G Class. This is the ultimate man vehicle and now it goes like stink and guzzles mad amounts of petroleum thanks to AMG. This is by far the best 4x4 on the market, especially with Toyota recalling everything with a battery.
It's seriously rugged, has masses of power and if you get the paint work scratched it only makes it look better.

The facts to back up my short review:

The design has hardly changed in over 30 years. Much like the beer gut.
The 500Hp 5.5L V8 is massive. nuf sed.
The Zim police use it. So did the Vatican city as the Popemobile.
It's so fugly it's cool, I'm sure Top Gear will approve.
And it's not a BMW X6. I can feel a retaliatory post coming from the Jinja Ninja in the near future.

P.S. there is also a V12 Biturbo version that is put together by the Brabus crew. Holy...popemobile.

Women, Props and Rubbers

2010-01-27T22:27:00.000+02:00

That sort of sounds like a $1 porn VHS turned DVD. Well...it's not too far off. There are naked girls, props of some sort and even rubber. But it's classy.

It's the new Pirelli "So hjot, whan to tush the body" Calendar.

There are girls spanking monkeys...sort of.

There are girls licking cock...nothing clever to say.

There are even girls with machete's...I can die happy now.

Thanks very much to Pirelli and the tattoo clad photographer for their great work.

And there are loads more. Pirelli even managed to take more awesome pics than there are months in a year. I'm not at all upset that the Italians can't count, it just means more naked hotties for all of us.

And We're Back!

2009-12-10T01:11:00.000+02:00

Hey you guys!

Wow 2 years... maybe more. I um. you... wow still a little awkward. Anyways we're back! They don't know it yet, they being the other idiots that helped out from time to time here on Chump wizzle to Chizzle, Jinja, G Man, Mikey, Joffers, Dari Dawg, 2009 booyee. So unofficially we're back in fucking business, God almighty praise the Lord!

Well, what can we tell you. OK lets start with a few questions I answered which were asked by neighbours who previously had no idea what ChumpStyle was or who but were quite intruiged when I told them I used to run this goddamn town we call Blogville:

Mandy: I'm Mandy by the way?
Wezzo: Wow Someone get a doctor, it seems you fell from heavon and...
Mandy: How I Met You Mother Season 1 Episode 21!
Wezzo: That's impressive

Wezzo: Say "SAUSAGES" & "I'LL BE BACK" one more time, just once more!
Fritz: GET OUTA MAH FACE!
Wezzo: C'mooon... "I'LL BE BEEECK", just say it.
Fritz: Dude seriously, OK to put it to you lightly. You had a decent site, you gave up when the pickings were ripe. All the world wanted was to see Lindsey's Lohans, Lady's Gagas & Perez's Hiltons. And you fucked it up, you quit. I'm fucking Afrikaans by the way not Austrian"
Wezzo: Mom?

You have questions? Well fire away kind sir.

Naked French Girls Music Video

2009-06-29T16:06:00.000+02:00

One way to sell your crap music Part IV
Only because I feel this might be a little too risque to post on Blacknotes, and well it needs to be posted somewhere, anywhere on the internet I've posted it here on the Blog that counts (well used too) ChumpStyle!

In an ongoing theme "One way to sell your crap music" I present "Baby Baby Baby" by Make the Girl Dance's... my pleasure. Thoughts?

Flash Doom

2009-05-08T10:52:00.000+02:00

Remember the classic? Sure you do, as an apology to all that come back here time and time again to stale content, here's a little gift to say sorry.

Powder Blue Trailer

2008-12-12T14:35:00.003+02:00

Featuring Jessica Biel as a stripper, wow what waste of time. Relax I was joking, jeez!

The Greatest Commercial Known to Man

2008-12-12T09:11:00.002+02:00

Not much to say other than send thanks and gratitude to Cape Town's Favourite Son for finding this gem. NSFW, unless your office allows "full frontal" casual Fridays.Video Link [Via]

Operation Humble Kanye - Buy Colbert's Album

2008-12-05T12:08:00.004+02:00

Seeing as though we're once again "doing this", I thought I'd give a little heads up. On Monday Stephen Colbert calls for his fans to buy his Christmas Album to outsell and humble Kanya West.

Watch the video below, skip the first minute if you need to get back to paying for your CEO's F50.

Colbert's Christmas wish came true, he jumped Kanye on the charts...
...and a humble Kanye reacts on Twitter.

The Smash Hit - Growing a Mo

2008-12-03T09:31:00.003+02:00

I know we're supposed to be lost to the wilderness or something, but I couldn't help post this. ChumpStyle member, Jinja and his colleagues really got into the spirit of 2008's greatest month, Movember and created this fine little song, Growing a Mo. You may notice all participants in his office had a go on the mic. I can see it charting next week on Jacaranda FM - it's way to good not too.

Read more up about it here.

New Ferrari California

2008-10-20T13:50:00.004+02:00

Hjot.

Wow, so the first attempt at a hard top convertible from Ferrari is an absolute belter. They kept may features from the classic 250 GT California like the air intake on the bonnet as well as the gills on the side of the car but why not stay with the soft top option. I feel that Ferrari should simply carry on making super cars they always have. The I-Ty way. Make them red, stunning, blisteringly fast, unreliable but never, never copy zee Germanz. Granted, the original had a hard top that you could clip on but leave the space hogging folding roofs for the others.

OK the specs:
Engine: 4297cc V8, 460bhp @ 7750rpm, 357lb ft @ 5000rpm
Transmission: Seven-speed twin-clutch gearbox, rear-wheel drive
Performance: It has a top speed of 309Km/h and a 4.0sec 0-60mph rating. Bet you it could have been faster with a soft top.
Size: Big...so big the lucky dude who got to test drive the beast scratched it while doing a three point turn. Oops. It's 4.5m long and almost 2m wide. Who cares how high it is, probably comes up to your pinus, which is the reason you bought it in the first place.

Anyway here is the 250 GT California Spyder.

Tanya van Graan Naked

2008-08-22T11:21:00.004+02:00

SA Heat Magazine posted pics in their latest issue of Tanya van Graan naked in a Starship Troopers 3 scene. News now is Tanya tried to stop the naked images going to press. I'm not too sure why though, we're going to see her breasticles anyway when the movie goes straight to DVD. ChumpStyle's Joffers will be first in line.

Being the internet we couldn't care less for the images and cut straight to it's jugular - video. [NSFW]
Starship Troopers 3: Marauder Nude Scene

King Horatio Cane

2008-08-21T12:46:00.003+02:00