Church Of Death

Illustrated Stories From The Bible

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 13:38:00 +0000

Dear God

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 21:43:00 +0000

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.

Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?

Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely, Edna

[via]

Spanish State Police - Forensics

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 02:45:00 +0000

"Dying to know"

Not sure if this is an official patch or not. [via]

In the Name of the MAINTAIN, and the HARDLINE, and the Holy KOPIMI

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 14:09:00 +0000

[ story ]
http://torrentfreak.com/mpaa-lawyer-inspired-file-sharing-religion-catholic-bishop-unhappy-120107/

[ image resources ]
http://www.kopimi.com/kopimi/
http://www.wikinfo.org/index.php/File:Kopimi_k1.svg
http://www.griffintrading.com/WP/?p=1396
http://www.clker.com/clipart-rainbow-color-square.html

Important Images For You All To Look At

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 02:20:00 +0000

Wonder not, of where we are going, but marvel instead, at where we have been.

From the impressive repertoire of photographer, David M. Hogan [flickr]

A Flickr Stream I Can Endorse

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 22:28:00 +0000

What an interesting flickr stream, I wonder who created it. Currently at 11 pages of truth. [hakkach flickr]

Angela Merkel Leads Us Into Eschaton

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 00:18:00 +0000

Uh Oh Spaghettios

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 00:12:00 +0000

Roflcopters!

Autumn

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 20:14:00 +0000

Dying can be beautiful.

Sinead O'Conner: Head Shave, Jesus Tattoo

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 00:57:00 +0000

You know, she's not looking too bad with the shaved head thing going on again. Of course, there's that slap of make-up there too, but the hair, or lack there of, definitely suits her. Fair play and all that shite. Now let's get on with things.

Where is she going with that Jesus stamp on her chest? Holy god, as it were. Now is that really Jesus or is it a portrait of John Waters? It's confusing. When she was crying out for some lovin' a while back, where was John Waters anyway? I don't understand why these two aren't together.

[Daily Mail] [via]

Dana: White Witch Of The Masonic Occult

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 16:52:00 +0000

Dana had a recent "brush with death" when one of the wheels on her president-mobile, blew out. The official reason for the blow-out is still not known but Dana is worried that she may have invoked an evil spirit, which is now stalking her.

One of the greatest spells invoked by Dana was the creation of her five children without ever engaging in acts of physical consummation. Dana is the prima witch of sex-magick. She has on many occaisons reached the 9th plateau. Her powers are very strong. Dare not to trick with her. She will throw you to the feet of Shiva and you will be obliteration by the fires of reversed orgasm.

For further occult secrets of all seven presidential candidates, read through the discussion located in the comments section of this post [dana roseMARY conspiracy] by atoast2toast.

Terence McKenna Theories, Animated

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 23:53:00 +0000

A touch of taking the mickey with this one, but good fun nevertheless. It's based on McKenna's theory that human consciousness was created by our early humanoid ancestors eating pyschadelic mushrooms due to diatary nescessities caused by climate change. [video via]

Two videos explaing the theory, the one on the left being McKenna himself, and a little more "balanced" view from Joe Rogan, on the right hand side video.

Oh The Ironing Is Sweat

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 01:15:00 +0000

Ironically, Mr. Breivik probably agrees with this Youtube commentator who was all too eager to blame the killings in Norway on Muslims.

Jesus Shooting Darwin

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 23:47:00 +0000

[via]

Blasphemous! Jesus Walks On The Waters

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 13:22:00 +0000

John Waters is big on fathers rights, often passionately pounding the table he is seated behind as he argues the importance of a child having a male role model. Yet when it comes to a child having two fathers, he starts spitting homophobic venom about how that's immoral and biologically unsound. A very odd character. He recently took part in a "Paint me, I'm Fucking Naked" program for RTE. He said every "gobshite" was going to have a field-day with it. This Gammagobshite wasn't going to bother with it, I did a bit of Tweeting at the time of the show, that was good enough for me. I have no agenda set against this man, if he has the balls to show his mickey in a homoerotic painting, more power to him! But then, when I went back and watched the start of the show, which I missed first time around, I spotted one of my pictures on his Mac Book, amidst a Google Image search he did, and then he started talking about "gobshites writing shite" on the internet. Well sure, he only went and made it personal then!

I also wanted to do a post on the Catholic hullabaloo regarding the "bikini-clad" Virgin Mary on display in University College Cork. I decided to merge the two themes into one. It's all art you know! I've often thought of Waters as a kind of Jesus character anyway, so here he is naked, with his mother gettting ready to do some swimming at the beach. Let's all rejoice in the beauty of one of god's great creations: the skin organ.

Ming On Lenihan

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 19:01:00 +0000

I left out, what can only be described as, a loud guffaw upon hearing Luke "Ming" Flanagan using the death of Brian Lenihan, to rip the arsehole out of Bertie Ahern. Don't let the bog accent and turf cutting agendas fool you, this man is a killer on the loose!

For me, hearing that Brian Lenihan had died was actually sad news. Well not really sad I guess, but regretful. While the man may have sealed our economic fate for the next 3 millenia, I have to give him the same respect I offer Hitler at his purging of the Jews from Europe: he honestly thought he was was doing the right thing. It's a real pity Lenihan couldn't have offloaded his cancer onto Bertie Ahern in a brown envelope. Bertie would have jumped at the chance of getting a brown envelope if Brian had written "polical favor" on the outside.

Richard Dawkins & Thomas Edison

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sat, 14 May 2011 09:44:00 +0000

[ Richard Dawkins ] [ Thomas Edison ]

The Beautification Of Pope John Paul II

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 20:29:00 +0000

[ story ]

Everyone Had To Have A Religion In 1911 Ireland

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 15:51:00 +0000

Following up on the last post about this years Census form and the religion question contained within, I took it upon myself to see what the people of 1911 put down for that answer. I wasn't too surprised to see that there were no big trends for the word "Atheism" in the search but what was surprising is the fact that anyone who answered along the lines of "no religion", "none" or just not aplicable, someone had come along and written "information refused" over the top. It seems that the notion of being without religion was in contempt of the census.

This might seem fitting for the time, but with the way the question is posed on the 2011 census form I wonder if little has changed. The supposition is that you have a religion and the option for no religion seems merely tacked on at the end. And as suspected, reports have surfaced of enumerators telling people to tick Roman Catholic if they were simply baptised, irrespective of their practising habits now.

[ List of 1911 Census Forms with "Information Refused" ]

Census 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 15:24:00 +0000

So it's nearly time to complete the general census again. I got my form a couple of weeks ago and I've been eagerly waiting to scribble down all my personal facts and figures (I hope there's a question on penis size. Oh I'll have so much fun measuring it if there is! I wonder if it's grown past the 3 inch mark since the last time I measured it, last week.) Treating the form like an exam paper I've tried my best to resist taking a peak at the questions within (Questions on early 20th Century European History better come up, or else I'm fucked!), but that probably was a bad idea as now I'm not prepared to answer the difficult ones like: who are you, and what the fuck is wrong with your face?

The questions I have looked at however have already led to confusion. "Where do you usually live?" This question might have been fine in pre-Celtic Tiger Ireland but most of us own 12 houses now. People like me tend to move about a lot during the week and it can be a case of lucky-dip on where I'm sleeping on a particular night (this is because I'm a professional gigolo). The form offers assistance: "usually" is defined as "mostly". Well that's great, I'll just ad up all the nights I spend on locations in a year and... well that won't work, I'll have to go back in time and start keeping a record. If the census form was more about the individual and less about the "household" this shit wouldn't arise. Surely the question should be, "where do you class as your principle home" as opposed to where I usually live. As it is now, I will have to deliberately lie on the form regarding this because my principle home is not where I spend most of my time but everything I have is registered there and it is where I will be spending the night filling out the form. And what if I was camping out in the woods on the night??? God help the homeless and the travelers.

Speaking of god. We have the lovely little question about ones religion. Another fucked up question. With the way it's worded I again can't feel confident answering it. I'm technically a Roman Catholic because I was baptised and therefore registered as that, but because there is no god and Jesus was just a carpenter, I'm not actually Christian. But does that make me an Atheist? What if my views can't be put into words. I may tick the "no religion" box and write "Nihilism" in the "other religion" box, which will be still counted as described in this Atheist Ireland video below...

The CSO warn that providing false information may be punishable with a €25,000 fine. They might just as well have said a €1million. How can they fine you if they don't know you exist, isn't that what filling out the form is for, to let them know you exist! With "helpful" definitions like "usually = mostly" how can they ever hope to get statistics that are anyway correct. Perhaps I can answer all the questions by stapling my underpants to the outside, with a big jizz stain on the crotch. "There ya go missus, compute that!"

On second thoughts, I'm not looking forward to filling out the form.

Safety Cameras: Increasing The Chances Of Road Side Death

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 17:45:00 +0000

There is an ad campaign, on the television, about these "safety" cameras. And before before I start let me just address once again, the bullshit of the term "safety" camera. These are not fucking safety cameras, they are speed cameras. Safety cameras would imply that they do more than measure speed. They don't check for careless driving, or mobile phone use, or seatbelts or any of that "safety" stuff. These are speed cameras. The naming scheme is really what annoys me most and not their actual existence.

So anyway, they have these ads on the tv about them. "Safety cameras. Save. Lives." Wonderful, wonderful. That makes everything else ok then. But because the vans are bullshit, people are (rightfully or wrongfully) burning the shit out of them around the country. The most recent one being in Wicklow. Now, yes, yes... murder is of course wrong and no one should lose a life just because they are operating a cynical-governmental-falsely adverised-money-spinning-fraudulent-fuckface-spewing system of catching people driving too quickly on badly built and maintained roads, but imagine if someone did die. Imagine if someone lost their life because of directly being involved in the operation of "safety" cameras. Imagine if the operator was burnt to a crisp inside.

Again I'm not saying that someone dying because of this is right, whether they are burnt to death or dragged, kicking and screaming out of the van; their throat slit and their quivering body tossed in front of an oncoming articulated truck.. whichever you think is best... But there is now a genuine risk in death occuring from these incedents and what is the governement going to do about it? Maybe they should create "Safety Safety-Vans" to protect the "safety" cameras and their operators. Or maybe they could just improve the roads? Nah, no money in that.

[ image sources i ii iii iv ]

No Thanks, I'll Stick To Heroin

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 12:25:00 +0000

Butt Hash...

"Jenkem is an alleged hallucinogenic recreational drug composed of noxious gas formed from fermented sewage.^[1] In the mid to late 1990s, several reports stated that Jenkem was being used by Zambian street children.^[1]^[2] In November 2007, anecdotal American media reports gave the impression that Jenkem was an actual, popular drug taking hold with American teenagers. Media reports were characterized by disbelief and distaste for the perceived abjection of the phenomenon.^[3] Since November 2007, no new reports have appeared to corroborate the early speculations."[wiki]

"Also known as: butt-vapors, ass gas, That Funky Air (TFA), Shit n' Piss (SnP), Slam Dump, Huff McGruff, Pooter Juice, Terrence and Phillip"[urbandictionary]

Good shit, maaan! etc.

تحت حدود الفضاء

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 02:46:00 +0000

Below the limits of space

The State Of Modern Astrophysics

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 00:44:00 +0000

Discuss...

Honest Man: The Life of R.Budd Dwyer

noreply@blogger.com (Gammagoblin) — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 13:24:00 +0000

Honest Man: The Life of R.Budd Dwyer - Trailer from Eighty Four Films on Vimeo.

With all the recent shit in Irish politics, many have been asking if Irish politicians should be allowed kill themselves. In my humble opinion I think yes, yes they should. One of the most famous public suicides of a politician was committed by R.Budd Dwyer. I found out today that a documentary was made about this man's life, controversy and eventual suicide. It may well be worth a watch, perhaps even a DVD purchase. For those unfamiliar with with the story (or the internet) you can check out the infamous footage below.