Church of Debra

COD18-The Church of Life

churchdebra@gmail.com — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 17:06:42 PDT

Debra Wilkerson makes another dramatic return to the spotlight thanks to her new sponsor, Kidzbop! God has led her to a new line of work and that's campaigning for Michelle Bachman. God gently pushes Debra to proselytize to everyone she comes across to get them to vote for God's own candidate, Michelle Bachman.

Debra's first call is to a prayer line to pray with a specialist for Blair and her lack of love and compassion for her cousin Geri Tyler who has cerebral palsy. Debra feels partially responsible because she feels she must have made serious mistakes when raising the girls, Blair especially... at least in her head.

Debra makes a second call to make a donation toward Michelle? Bachman's campaign. A sweet sounding southern gentleman answers and Debra immediately realizes he's an evil homosexual.

Debra feels more prayer is necessary for both Blair's unchristian attitude toward Geri as well as Michelle Bachman's chances of winning the presidency of the most powerful nation in the world. Texas.

CODV4-Prune Brothers

churchdebra@gmail.com — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 18:58:00 PDT

In Memory of Blair.

Tik Tok Gurlzzzz!

churchdebra@gmail.com — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 22:45:57 PST

Vote on American Idol for my song!

COD17-Hot Mess

churchdebra@gmail.com — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 06:45:54 PST

Debra calls for a free money book but she's afraid her trailer will be taken by the FDA before the book arrives which would put her and the 'girls' out on the street. A very helpful but persistant woman tries to keep Debra focused but a bit of self mutilation ensues for lack of a pen and paper. Next Debra calls Applebees looking for her grand daughter, Natalie, who left her purse at home and went to work. Natalie needs her glucose monitor because she's diabetic. Debra calls a Merle Norman store to inquire about freckle cover for one of "the girls", Natalie. Sadly the woman rebuffed Debra saying that the only makeup they carry is foundation. Debra then explained to the lady how the owner was married to a lovely blonde drag queen. This marriage sadly ended and ruined the owners life. This is why they no longer sell makeup, except for foundation. Oh, and a few eyeshadows. Next, Debra thinks she's pregnant so she calls a crisis line. The young woman finds help for the desperate Debra. Next Debra calls a prayer line where she speaks of her daughter's F2M transformation as well as her son's homosexuality. Debra delves deep into a Fact of Life themed psychotic episode. Fortunately, her son is on the phone to help her out.

In My Eyes She Sees the Love

churchdebra@gmail.com — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:51:16 PST

COD16-Taking a bad trip with E and the gurlz

churchdebra@gmail.com — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:41:29 PST

Calls in order

Walmart - Talks to a cleaner about the facts of life DVD box set to find out WALMART supercenter is closed!
Walmart - A nice 24 hour lady looks for her facts of life dvd box set even tho the first lady was very RUDE
Chat line - Debra thinks she IS mrs garrett at this point. The extacy is in full force and Debra's feeling it?

On her weekly visit to walmart, Debra finds a small plastic bag on the ground beside her car filled with extacy. Thinking it is her own lithium and it fell out of her purse as she got out, she picks it up and stashes it in her purse. Later, after taking her first dose for the day which means missing her dose of lithium, Debra spirals into a weird combination of the effects of the extacy and a total psychosis where she believes she is Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life. On the way down, she calls Walmart looking for The Facts of Life DVD box set, but finds that the store is closed and the only person available is with maintenance. Finding another Walmart that is open, Debra speaks with a clueless woman who passes the call on to a very helpful and nice lady who gives Debra the bad news. They don't carry The Facts of Life DVD box set. This causes Debra to slip deep into her psychosis where she thinks she is Mrs. Garrett. Feeling the full effects of the extacy, she calls a singles chat line where she lets her inner whore out to play.

Before the effects wear off, Debra writes her own Fan Porn:

Facts of Life outsourced to India for the last season that never aired. But Mrs. Gahred, Tusti, Bahlair, Joei and Nartalika just didn't make the cut.

Mrs. Garrett eyed tootie through the steamy shower room door with lust in her eyes. Her long lush eyelashes dripping with water laced with the essence of tootie that filled the room in the form of steam.

Tootie had no idea of her amorous admirer until she felt a brush against her nubile back.

Mrs. Garrett's ample boosum and large supple nipples brushed against tooties neck. Tootie's skin reacted with thousands of little goose pimples.

Tootie exclaimed, "somebody's gonna be in trooooubleeeee"

Edna swiftly spun tootie around and pushed her into her enormous cleavage. Tootie couldn't breath.

Edna was so overjoyed, she begin singing "Love in an elevator" as tootie's arms swung widly trying to find something to get a grip on to pull herself from certain death by breast asphyxiation.

Tootie suddently realized that Edna's Edibles wasn't JUST a store front. It was an apt description of Edna Garrett's inentions.

Then came the jokes:

Did you hear about that horrible documentary about Blair after the facts of life? Seems she moved to mass. in the woos to be alone. I think it was called Blair Witch.
Tootie witch. Sequel to Blair witch.
Did you know Mrs. Garrett was a lesbian? Seems she was found at the Ihop eating Tootie fruity pancakes.
They made Joe be the butch bulldagger... because she already was. They covered her in tootie's fruity topping.
Natalie, being the food lover she is, couldn't control herself and actually ATE tootie out... literally. The only thing left was course pig tails and roller skates... and a little piece of chewing gum to the side.
That's when Mrs Garett stopped breast feeding natalie. She had to get milk from the other cow. To this day, Natalie can't pass the dairy section of super walmart without mooing to fond childhood memories.
It was when Natalie decided to try to become healthy by weightlifting. But she went too far and popped a prolapse while squatting 400 pounds. Poor tootie was right behind her. Tootie never smelled the same from the spray.

CODV3-Greta Van Susteren Sits Down With Debra Wilkerson for First Interview

churchdebra@gmail.com — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 12:56:47 PST

FOX News' Greta Van Susteren is in Mississippi to get Debra Wilkerson's reflections on the clothes and Africa.

COD15- Spitting the seed out in a fetus container while listing to briny spears.

churchdebra@gmail.com — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 23:41:47 PDT

A free sample of Cajun Black Beans with Sausage at the local Sam's Club causes Debra to have a traumatic flash back of past sexual abuse with her father's obsession with BDSM & Latex fetishes. She rushes home in a panic where she finds solace in calling a 24 hour prayer line. Unfortunately, it wasn't what she expected. Her lack of lithium drives Debra into a deep psychotic break. To try to drown the memories, Debra tries some catalog phone shopping for her dear friend Cheryl who needs some plastic fetus containers. Still thinking she's Mrs. Garrett from The Fact Of Life, Debra slides even deeper by belting out tunes from the top 100 billboard.

COD14- Cutting Through the Bridge of Hope With Chef Tony's Knives

churchdebra@gmail.com — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 23:36:36 PDT

Debra begins her slow slip into religious-based psychosis due to a tragic accident where her lithium and other medications have been absconded away by a house invading squirrel to be hidden away for the winter. The neighborhood rodent population will never be the same.

Debra begins her slow journey by trying to be a good Christian lady who donates to needy people through Rod Parsley's ministry. Then her mental state leads her to try to buy a set of knives with a motive that has yet to be revealed. All that is known is that she believes at this point that she is Mrs. Garret from The Facts of Life. Unfortunately, a conversation with her non-existant husband, who refuses to pay for the knives, ends this call in disappointment. If you listen closely, you can even hear poor Debra responding to herself as her own husband.

CODV3-Obama,Aliens,and WHORES!

churchdebra@gmail.com — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 16:10:59 PDT

Debra falls into Psychosis when her dog eats her medications.

CODV2-My Life Part 1

churchdebra@gmail.com — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 17:20:47 PDT

Just a little bit about me.

CODV1-How It Ought a Be

churchdebra@gmail.com — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 15:40:05 PDT

COD13-Prayer Guns

churchdebra@gmail.com — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:10:57 PDT

From Waffle House workers to 700 Club Prayer Line reps, the economy is still hurtin' us in a bad way. We all need prayer in these tryin' times. And so do our weapons! Pray with me over our guns, bows and machetes!

COD12-Debra Wilkerson Gets Hot With The Amish

churchdebra@gmail.com — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:23:14 PDT

From the Obama Death Camps I WILL RISE! Barbara Bush WE WILL SAVE YOU!

Album art by the great Fayye Dunrunaway CLICK HERE!

COD11-Lets feed the white babies!

churchdebra@gmail.com — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 17:04:05 PDT

I really think this is one of my best calls....PRAISE JESUS!

COD10-IM BACK.....WITH MORE JESUS JUICE!

churchdebra@gmail.com — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 02:43:06 PDT

It says IT all SUGAR CHILD Debs is BACK! YES THE ALBULM ART NUMBER IS OFF!!! LETS WORSHIP JESUS AND TOUCH THE JESUS JUICE!

COD9-Get Better Rillz

churchdebra@gmail.com — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 01:48:33 PST

First of all people of god! Lets all take a little time to send our good thoughts to Rillz we love jew!!! In this show I call about lots of stuff from over dose crap meds to other stuff! GET SAVED PRAISED JESUS!!!!

COD8-Sex Calls

churchdebra@gmail.com — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 18:30:41 PST

I call lots of Sex Operators to see the sick sin these people be listen 2! NASTY NASTY NASTY SIN SIN SIN! PRAY FOR HIM PRAY FOR JESUS! FEEL JESUS INSIDE YOU! DEEP INSIDE YOU!!!!

COD7-Absorb My Blood

churchdebra@gmail.com — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:57:50 PST

Well what can I say they be lots of stuff in here for all of you! From blood to grab it pro to the damn pubic hair shaving! I EVEN HAVE DREAM OF HAVING SEX WITH JESUS!

COD6- IM GAY oh and my child has both!

churchdebra@gmail.com — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 00:38:55 PST

COD5-Huffing Those Sins Away!

churchdebra@gmail.com — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 18:14:25 PST

I call 700 club about my huffing problem...........I JUST COULD NOT HELP MY SELF I HUFFED A CAN OF AIR WICK AND DUSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COD4-Seperation of APartment and Church (Click Here)

churchdebra@gmail.com — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:01:53 PST

WELL HUNAY WHAT CAN I SAY? PRAYS JESUS AND LOVE THIE NEIGHBOR! I CALL 700 CLUB ABOUT MY APARTMENT MANAGER'S SICK WAYS! TOTAL GYM ALSO GETS MY LOVELY CALL! REMEMBER STAY TRUE TO THE LORD!

Pray The Gay Away Promo (Click Here)

churchdebra@gmail.com — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 15:54:38 PST

This is a promo for my churches pray the gay away program!!! GET THAT SIN AND PEEN OUT!!!!!!!!!!

COD3-Crazy Granny,Beating Momma (Click Here)

churchdebra@gmail.com — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 15:55:36 PST

I hope you enjoy this show and the sponsor! The first call is a very jesus like hoot at the end. I had a little help with the calls as you can hear in them! Love you all and remember to stay true to Jesus!

Church Of Jesus Christ Promo (Click Here)

churchdebra@gmail.com — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 15:56:19 PST

I heard this lovely church promo on the radio thought I would share it!!! God prays you all today!