I have something that’s been bugging since before I left ‘The Valley‘ and I just want to let the feelings out.

Going Away Party.
I’m not someone who cares much about such parties. I think they’re made mostly for the people left behind. With that being said, I can’t explain why I’m upset about what happened at mine. Maybe I just don’t understand how you can love someone and call yourself their friend but completely turn the party plans around last minute and only visit with the person for 5 minutes before she leaves. I guess that’s it. I just don’t understand how some peoples minds work.

It helps to just say that much so… I think I’m done there. I don’t want to start up any drama again. The stuff that happened on twitter (you heard me… twitter) was bad enough.

I’ve been on a rollercoaster of different emotions since my big life change. Some days I’m really happy and others I have really negative feelings. I’m not used to the fluctuation . All I had to deal with before was mostly frustration and happiness. Of course my emotional changes now may be due to my self-prescribed decrease in medicine. I don’t know why I decided to cut down on Paxil again. I can actually handle the world a lot better when I’m on the full amount. No anxiety > anxiety, believe it or not!

I’m in a major need of adrenaline. Sitting at home doing nothing KILLS me. I’ve been waiting for a job but nothing seems to be happening. I’m about to jump in and apply at McDeath! D: But hey, maybe that’ll get the adrenaline pumping. Otherwise, I’m thinking a concert would be a-mazing!!! That, or thrill rides at Luna Park!

That’s it for now. Ciao, darlings! <3

-Ciera

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Well, I’ve made it a month in Australia. I knew I would considering my last visit here was 3 months long ! It’s been really great here. Of course there’s been down days but I wouldn’t change anything about it! During the weeks I’ve been doing things to keep my self busy including looking for jobs and visiting Daniel at work. At least one day during the weekend is spent as a ‘date day’. On those days we usually go out all day and enjoy our time together. I’m so thankful we have the weekends to spend so much time together!

This week I spent most of the time at home. Normally that would make me feel a bit upset but I stayed busy enough to feel like I accomplished something. I managed to finish all the friendship bracelets I was working on. I also wrote some letters and made some necklaces for my brother and sister. On Thursday, Daniel’s mum managed to talk me into going grocery shopping with her. We got ingredients for tacos! They were really good ! Daniel was on a fun go-carting trip that his office does. I wish I could have gone! On Friday, I went into the city to visit my man at work. While together, we set up his part of our joint bank account. Then we went to the post office so I could send everything I worked on. After that, we went and got lunch at KFC. So healthy, right?!

This weekend we decided to just spend one day out. Before we actually set out for our date, we got haircuts (seen above!). I was worried about how mine would turn out but I ended up loving it! I still do, of course xD! After that, we didn’t decide what we were going to do, Melbourne Zoo or Luna Park, until we got to one of the locations. Part of the uncertainty was the weather. It was raining for a little bit but we still decided to go to the zoo. I was so excited to see the baby elephant there! Her name is Mali . We found out that in just a few weeks, another elephant will be having a baby. I made sure Daniel knew we were visiting again just for that! While we were there, we also discovered that there were baby tigers! They were being so playful when we visited them. Mommy tiger was walking around roaring. Also, while visiting this time, we got to see the red panda. When we visited last year, it was hiding in a little box, eating food. This time it was up in a tree just looking down at everyone. It made me soooooo happy! Red Pandas are cute ^_^!! Will you get me one? If you’d like to see any pictures of the trip, either go to my facebook or visit my joint blog with Daniel. We just set it up tonight so there’s not much on it but we made sure we got some zoo pics up.

Anywho, that’s it for now! Wish me luck on the next week! I’m hoping for an interview soon, from anywhere! Byebye!

-Ciera

This week really hasn’t been that eventful. I visited Daniel during lunch early in the week and during that hour we opened my new bank account. When I was at a bus stop on my way to see him, an old Greek lady started talking to me. She was complaining about the ‘cold’ and mentioned how her “village” was always the same temperature throughout the year! I thought it was really funny because she also mentioned that she has been a citizen in AUS for 40 years! The fact that she referred to a village really made me happy. In any case, it made me even more interested in Greece. I must travel there one day.

The rest of the week I had this yearning to go out but my anxiety ended up getting the best of me… ! While out I was going to post some finished bracelets and letters to a couple of friends, hand in some resumes, and possible have some delicious Lord of the Fries or sushi. I hate that I didn’t get that done during the week but anxiety attacks are no fun at all. Oh well! While I stayed inside, I got more crafts done. I also finished the book I’ve been reading, Paper Towns by John Green. It’s a really great book! I didn’t expect it to end the way it did but I wasn’t disappointed either. I made a new friend as well! Well, I consider her a friend. It’s funny how we’ve met through the… years? She’s one of my friend’s girlfriend now and they seem really good together. I hope they can work through any obstacles in their relationship. During the week we get to talk about things while we wait for our boyfriends to get back from work! It’s AWESOME SAUCE, I tell you!!

Daniel and I had a date day on Saturday. The adventure started fine until we got to Parliament Train Station. That’s when the public transport system started to hate us. The line we needed to go on wasn’t running so we had to run to another platform to get on the line we needed. We got to the next station, got on the train, and headed the way we needed to go. Things were looking up until we got to Footscray(zy). There was a disruption somewhere along the train tracks so everyone had to get off and catch replacement buses to where they needed to go. Needless to say, the buses ended up being extra crowded for most of the trip. Luckily, it didn’t take to long to get to our stop. We started walking to ScienceWorks and there were these awesome poles along the way. There were four altogether: gears, planets, robot, and chromosome. They made the short walk there extra exciting.

Once we got to the actual museum, we headed straight for the toy area. Daniel was just like a kid again! It was so cute !! I think my favorite part of the museum was the house area. It had an upside down room, spinning pictures, and a kitchen where there was an awesome fire show!! A guy practically made a flame thrower with a funnel, tubing and corn flour. We made a stop at the gift shop as well. There we found a pack of 50 glow in the dark stars!

We headed home after 2 hours playing in the museum. We still had to catch a replacement bus to Footscray(zy) but it wasn’t nearly as frustrating or crowded. When we arrived, dinner was ready! YAYFOOD! (I’m hungry right now! must find fooooooood)

I’d really like to add more to this post but I’m hitting my writers block. I guess I’ll say those things in another post. Also, I hate how I say ‘but’ and ‘and’ a lot. And I almost always start each sentence with the same word or letter! D:<

Tootaloo for now!

-Ciera

P.S. If you’d like to see more pictures from the ScienceWorks adventure or anything else, just go ahead and check my facebook! Don’t worry, I won’t bite.

Today I spent a wonderful day with Daniel, his sister, and his mom. We had lunch at a nice buffet and then got some shopping in. We had to get some ingredients for delicious cookies that we made later in the day. Mmmmm, cookies! They turned out soo well! They were meant to be plain lemon cookies, with icing but we decided to make them more exciting with RAINBOW (++death) colors! Not only do they look good but they taste delicious as well!

After two weeks of waiting, I finally got my tax file number (TFN). A TFN is similar to a social security number (SSN) in America, for those who didn’t know. I feel better about applying for jobs now. I also got a packet for the bank account I opened. My TFN is useful for that as well. Not nearly as much as it is for jobs, though.

I’ve finished a few things for friends, just need to post them now! I’ll have to do that this week. I should also apply for some more jobs and visit Daniel more.

Keep a smile on your face!

-Ciera

Today, Daniel and I went out to do some shopping and just spend the day together. We walked through IKEA to look at furniture. I loved doing that. It got me very excited for the possibilities the future brings. IKEA didn’t have anything we could afford, and needed, so we decided to stop by another store to look at dressers and bookshelves. We had to go via train and while waiting there, a young man gave me a compliment:

You look very pretty for a… bigger woman.

I’m not one to get many compliments from strangers so it made me feel very good. The stranger also told Daniel he was very lucky to have me but he already knew that! Anyways, Daniel and I made our way to the other store and purchased a bookshelf. YAY! A place for my two books I brought here >_<! Hopefully Daniel will manage to fill up the rest.

I’ve been here, in Australia, for a week now. It seems as if I never left! I haven’t been up to much since I got here, though. Mostly just sitting around on the computer until Daniel gets off work. I applied for my TFN so I am able to apply for jobs once I work on my resume. It’ll be good to get out of the house. My life will begin to get more exciting!

Anyways, I have no idea what else to write and I have lost almost all my concentration. Ciao for now! <3

The nine months, that are now behind us, have been so difficult for me! Before we met, chatting was always a fun experience. After meeting and spending three months together, I started getting really frustrated and taking things he said the wrong way. I partly blame the distance. I was so unhappy that I couldn’t be there; my overall mood has changed from relaxed and happy, to stressed and discontent. I miss the way I felt before. Although, I have faith that when I’m there my mood will change drastically again.

More has gone on in life, as well. Along with the stress of the distance: I live in this disgusting house (daily stressor); my family has made me feel used, neglected, and just disrespected; and my moms ex-husband, and my brother and sisters father, had an incident that has left him with no movement on his right side and possible one blind eye. Sound like a good nine months to you?! Now, I know I could have things a lot worse… it just feels like bad things have been happening one things after another, after another, for the past three years.

Through all that, even though he’s part of the distance, I’ve had Daniel. He makes it easier for me to deal with things. He listens to me complain and deals with my stupid, pointless emotions I have at times. I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now if I didn’t have him…

SO, as the title implies (I HOPE!), I’m moving in with him and starting a new life! No more distance! I am both excited and very scared! Although I hate being here, I’m used to living in America. The thought of leaving everything I’ve ever known overwhelms most me of… Hopefully I’ll be more excited as I fly to Australia! Anyways, I applied for the 12 month work/holiday visa in April and they granted it in under 24 hours. We both plan on working hard to get the Partner Visa next. It takes a lot of work, time, and… a LOT of money! We’re both very focused on making this work to make things better for the both of us, though!

I’m so excited to finally have a ‘normal’ relationship again!

Today I spent some time with my best friend, Tanya. The last time I talked to/saw her was about 7 months ago. It was really nice to catch up with her. I love that we can lose contact for months, or years, and still be as close as we are. It just shows how strong friendships can be

I got a job at a Papa John’s that just opened here! I be deliverin’ pizzas now! xD  I’m so glad I finally have a job! It’s not what I’d like to be doing but the hours are good, tips are nice, and I love most of the people I work with I’ve met some people there that I hope I know for a long time.  It’s weird that I like almost everything about it, but I don’t necessarily enjoy working there. 

I really need to go visit my dad soon. It’s been… years I feel so bad that I haven’t seen him. Once I graduated high school and started life, it was up to me to get over there. I just haven’t “found the time” to . I’m focused on getting over there early this year, though. I’m aiming for before March. Or maybe his birthday at the beginning of April. I’m his only daughter. I know this isn’t the relationship he was hoping to have with me… I’m going to try and rebuild it.

Oh! Have I mentioned this amazing man that seems to have stolen my heart?! Pretty sure I have a whole post talking about us xD! He is the most incredible person I have EVER met! I can’t get over him and the way he makes me feel. I guess it might be love. Maybe… xD! I’m missing him so much right now It’s hard seeing all these people close to me with boyfriends/girlfriends, and having him soooooo far away. Even my mom has someone, although he’s 6 hours away… That’s still closer than Daniel will be for a long time I know our love will last through this, though. I trust him and love him so much! He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me and I won’t let him go!! <3 That’s a promise!!

Well, I think that’s all for now folks. Maybe next time I’ll actually share my views on things… or not. Maybe I’ll just complain/brag again Have a good night/day/evening/life! Thanks for reading. Love to you!

-Ciera

Anyways, now I am listening to music and trying not to be here while still being here. I can’t wait for a new life! Really. I am soooo excited to just ‘start over’. I feel like I’m just surviving until then. Then, when I start living! Gahhh! I’m so impatient sometimes. XD

Hmm, something I’m starting to realize: Parents are right sometimes . Did you ever hear, “Your friends now may not be your friends forever, even if it feels like that now.”? Haha! My dad said that a lot but I never believed him. I thought the friendships I’ve had for 10+ years would always be, ya’ know? My views sure have changed recently. I am definitely not as close as I used to be with my two best friends I’ve had for about 12 years now. I haven’t talked to one of them for 6 months now because she hasn’t responded to any of my messages . The other friend; I think we will be friends for a long time still but I just don’t feel as close as we were in our younger years. Mmm… blah! Just, blaaaah. That’s how I feel right now.

And also! While I’m on the friends topic, and before I chicken out again ^_^, I feel I should give my feelings about “being left out.” Heh! I really hate when my friends complain about that. I really don’t want to point certain people out but just know it bugs me. I try not to show I’m upset when you talk about things you’ve done together. It really does happen to me a lot. I’ve actually learned to accept it and deal with being alone at home. And dealing with being a second/third/fourth/100th thought. -__- ANYWAYS! moving on…

There is one person I know will always want to be around me. Ha! Might be easy to guess who it is . It’s not fun having that person on a different continent Miles and miles away! It’s something I have to deal with, though. I think I’m really doing a good job. And I’m happy. You may hear me complain but… I am very happy that I’m in this relationship. I don’t dread the distance either. I just wish it wasn’t there .

He really is the most amazing person ! The only person who has actually made me so happy that I cried <3 Heh!

Anyways, I can’t really think anymore. I just really needed to get lost. This definitely helped a bit. Mmm, and this post seems less formal than I’d like it to be :S! I guess it’s okay. This IS a blog! Ha… I need to relax. Okay, I’m done.

P.S. I’m really done this time Thanks for reading!